Chapter 21

It was raining, a cold hard rain. Everyone once in a while, a pale round chunk of ice, otherwise known as hail, would fall from the heavens and crash to the ground. The weatherman had called for rain, not golf ball sized hail. Stupid weatherman. Akihito was convinced stupid weatherman had arranged it so it would rain today because….it was always supposed to rain on the day you paid your respects to the dearly departed. That was the rule you know. At least, for Akihito it was. It was raining on the day Keir was taken off life support. It was raining on the day his grandma's dog died. He had liked that dog. So, of course, of all days, it was raining today.

And when it rained, hard like this he couldn't wear cool leg, he'd have to wear the other non-cool leg, which meant he limped and had to carry a cane. It was a cool cane though. It was a gift from Natgeo, since it was their fault, sort of, that he got all mangled up in Afghanistan. Anyway, it had a clock in the bamboo handle because his co-workers said he was always losing track of the time. Ha ha. Very funny….even if it was true.

So, as Akihito dodged the tempest, well, not really dodged, but tried his best to keep dry, he cursed for having to go out today at all. Why shouldn't he be home, playing with his cameras, drinking cocoa and watching The Mentalist? But no….today he was supposed to be seeking closure, or whatever he was supposed to do. This whole thing sucked donkey balls.

Today was the day he would say goodbye to Asami, even if he didn't want to.

The cab stopped in front of cold, dark and pretentious Club Sion, which in the cold dark rain, looked even more ominous, as if it were a character in a horror film. If it was, he should be hearing the screeching of violins, but all he could hear was the pattering of raindrops on the cold gray concrete, the distant murmuring of thunder. Even the flower arrangements and red lanterns at the entrance did nothing to liven up the place. Because…it was cold and dark or dark and cold, take your pick.

So he limped towards the entrance, realizing that this was the last time he would come here, unless he got lost or something. And he was determined this would be the last time he would cry for Asami. After today, he would cry no more. He didn't know how he would keep himself from crying. Maybe they had anti-crying drops to go with his anti-blushing serum or maybe just through sheer will, he didn't know.

He limped up the steps carefully, avoiding the gaze of the big goon at the door who, from what he could remember, was the same big goon who had thrown him down the steps so many months ago. Guess big goon didn't have any ambition other than being a big goon.

Big goon didn't meet his eyes, but looked at his leg, and his eyes softened. He usually got that look, no matter how cold-hearted a person was, that look of pity. How he hated it.

"Inside?" He asked simply, when he finally made it to the door. Asami never installed disabled friendly accommodations so it took him awhile to climb the steps. He'd have to have words with Kirishima about that. Yeah, who cares. After today, he wasn't going to see the place again.

"Yes, in the main hall. Please watch your step, the floor is slippery." Big goon said. "Umm…from the rain." No duh, big goon.

"Thank you." And what big goon meant was, don't fall down on your ass because I don't want to get in trouble with the boss. "I'll be careful." He said, rather than argue with big goon that he wasn't as feeble as he looked. He probably wouldn't win anyway, given the guy looked like a truck.

Club Sion looked so different. Not just prepared for a funeral different, but different…different. The place looked like it was in the middle of a remodel (it was) and they hadn't decided on a theme yet (they hadn't). There were neither tables, chairs, booths, nor any decoration at all. As he walked…limped, his cane's click click noise echoed off the bare white walls. Club Sion was as silent as a grave, a fitting epitaph to the man Akihito once knew. Had once loved.

Club Sion…..where are your flashes of merriment?

"Suoh." Akihito said when he came into the main hall. There stood Suoh, alert as usual, and guarding his late boss's altar, as if someone might shoot it. If someone took a shot at it, would Suoh jump in front of it with a dramatic NOOOOOOO? "It's nice to see you again."

"It's good to see you too." Suoh said, and he meant it.

"I wish it wasn't like this though." Akihito said, and he meant it.

Suoh's eye's softened, a little, but not much, only Akihito was able to tell. "Yes, I agree." He said, and his body stilled, as if he was modeling for a statue. "Take your time." He said with finality.

Akihito collapsed in front of the altar. Not collapsed, but there was no getting down on his knees easily, so it looked awkward. This position hurt. Suoh moved just slightly as if to help him, but seeing Akihito's death glare, he went back to his original position, that is, of the stoic watchdog.

It was a simple shrine, for a complicated man. There was no picture, just a black and white sketch, most likely done hastily and from memory. It wasn't a bad drawing, it was just flat. Even at the end Asami shunned photos, as if someone could steal his soul if someone snapped a quick picture.

He bowed, clapped his hands together and lit a stick of incense. There was a collection of odd offerings on the altar: toothpicks, coins, scotch, a Starbucks Frappuccino cup, a DVD of The Mentalist. To this rather odd memorial, he added the camera. He didn't want it anymore, didn't need it anymore, and didn't want to be reminded of Asami when he ran across it in a storage box, years later. He had wanted, at first, to take a hammer to it, but he couldn't go through with it. It wasn't the cameras fault.

"Where are the cigarettes?" He asked Suoh, who seemed startled out of his unmoving position by the question.

"The boss had developed a health issue, and was urged to quit smoking." He answered with a semi-polite smile, which actually made him look more menacing.

"And did he?" He asked. Where had he been? Oh, yeah, that's right, in a coma.

"Of course he did." He replied, amazed the question even had to be asked.

"A lot of good it did him." Akihito said with a slight chuckle. "I don't understand, Suoh."

"I'm sorry, Takaba-kun?" He asked.

"Why are you alive and he's dead?" Akihito replied. Something didn't add up, and had been bugging him since the day he read the article in the paper. "Not that I wish you dead but…."

"Mistakes were made." He said simply, his face darkening for a moment. "I'm sorry I didn't do my best that day." He hated lying to the boy, but it wasn't his job to reveal the truth. Truth was for wimps with no right hook.

The tears started flowing again. Akihito had held them back….he checked the watch on the top of his cane….for a whole eight hours, not counting the hours he drank himself into a stupor. Maybe this was progress.

"You're sorry?" He said, and his voice rose a little. "You're sorry….huh."

"I would gladly switch places with him." Yeah, he would gladly, he could go fishing, and Asami could deal with crying brat.

"Then go switch." He ordered. "Sorry that was mean. I'm not in the best of moods, given the circumstances."

"I understand."

"I'm mad at you, you know….I'm mad at Kirishima and Akira! What kind of bodyguards are you? You let him get shot by Feilong! You let him run after me in Hong Kong, even though he wasn't healed yet! You let him die on that ship! What good are you? You guys suck!"

"Do you feel better now?" A voice said evenly from the doorway. Akihito hadn't noticed Kirishima's soft thud of his expensive shoes approaching due to his tirade.

"No, I don't." He said coldly. "Kirishima, you asshole! How come you got away and he didn't?" He struggled to get up but failed. His tears dripped down his face onto the gray stone floor, making a nice puddle for the janitor to clean up later.

"Like Suoh said, mistakes were made." He said apologetically. He really hated it when the boy cried. Even he, a straight guy, could admit that.

"No. I don't believe it." He replied and put his face in his hands to hide the tears from these two men.

"Pardon?"

"It's a conspiracy. He's not dead. You're hiding him, aren't you? He can't be dead. You guys wouldn't let him be dead. I'm going to go out and prove he isn't dead. You wouldn't leave him behind!" He yelled and his voice echoed before dying completely. "He's hanging with Bruce Lee and Elvis, right? He can't be dead!"

"Come with me." Kirishima said, and went to help him up but Akihito slapped his hand away. "You need a drink." This tirade of Takaba was going to make trouble, and he was done with trouble. But when Takaba the trouble magnet was around he couldn't avoid it.

"None for me thanks, I'm driving." He said mockingly.

"Then, let's take a walk." He said, and held out his hand again. This time, Akihito took it. His butt was getting cold and his good leg was falling asleep. So, might as well go take a walk with an evil crime lord….evil crime lord's evil assistant. There was no harm in that, right? Right?

"Where are we going? For a little ride?" He said, with sarcasm dripping from his mouth like venom.

"I have a little errand to run." He said, as he escorted Akihito down the hall, and to the back entrance. Why he felt like Leia being escorted by Darth Vader into her prison cell, he didn't know. Not that he was a girl or anything.

"What, I'm supposed to go with you so you can park in the handicapped spot?" Akihito said. "People frown on using cripples like that you know."

Kirishima grunted like a caveman but didn't comment as he pushed him…ok, not pushed, that wouldn't be cool, but helped Akihito into the back of the waiting limo.

"Then, where are we going?" He asked, as Kirishima climbed in next to him. Kirishima was all legs. And when he climbed in, he looked like a spider. Was he the spider's prey? Was he going to get chewed up and spit out because he couldn't keep his big trap shut?

"To seek a solution to your problem." He said, in a voice as empty as his stoic expression.

"Are we off to see the wizard? Will he get me a new heart? Because I don't want the one I've got anymore." He said, wiping the tears from his face. "You can have it."

"Here, have a drink." He said, and nodded to Akira to drive.

"I said…." And when Akira took off, he fell back against the seat. "Ouch."

"Here…just one." He offered again.

"You know peer pressure is a form of bullying." He replied. "But as a tough mob boss…and you are the boss now…right? You should be familiar with bullying."

"Then don't drink it." He sighed and put the drink away.

"Why do I feel the sudden urge to bolt from this car, and if I was wearing my other leg, I would." He said waringly.

"Are you a Transformer now?" He asked, with a goofy grin making it look like his face would crack at any minute.

Akihito cocked his head. "Yeah, if I was a robot, my heart wouldn't be breaking like this." He swallowed hard.

"You're sad?" He said, stating the obvious. He then pushed his glasses back with his finger.

"No shit, Sherlock." He replied, sticking out his tongue. "Aren't you?"

No, he wasn't sad, because Asami wasn't dead. "Does that mean…you love him?" He asked, avoiding the other question all together.

"Loved." He corrected dully.

"Yes…"

"I did…and I do, so there. Put that it your pipe and smoke it." He said disrespectfully.

"Even after he dumped you?" Kirishima asked.

"Yeah, stupid me. Something's wrong with my brain…in case you forgot." He remarked fiercely. "I'm still pining for a man who had his underling break up with him."

"I was following orders. I'm sorry about that." He said apologetically and coughed.

"Apology not accepted." He said in a whimsical voice.

"You two are idiots." He said, and regretted his words immediately.

"I'm an idiot and he's dead." He reminded him.

"Well…" He said, and scratched the back of his neck.

"I knew it!" He said, and beamed. "I just knew it."

"And here I thought that blond hair was natural."

"You're really bad at keeping secrets. I mean, I didn't even have to torture you or anything." Akira chuckled from the front seat at that. "Where are we going, then?"

"He wants to see you." Actually that was a lie. He didn't know why he was talking Akihito to see him, but he just hated this whole situation. Besides, why bring Asami porn when can have the real deal?

"Ooohh no." He said, and tried the door handle even though they were on the expressway. "Doesn't he have Sudoh to fuck? Why would he want me?"

"Sudoh was not his type." He said. "You don't want to see him?"

"Stop the car, no way. Stop the car." He said, in a panicked voice, although they were on the expressway and the logic of that didn't seem to matter right then.

"Keep driving." Kirishima ordered. Although Akira hadn't even slowed down.

"Are you kidnapping me now?" He asked. "That's against the law, you know.

"No, I'm not." He replied quickly.

"I won't tell anyone your little secret. Unlike you, I can keep secrets." He was begging now.

"I would think you want to see him, to confirm he's alive." Akihito shrugged. "And I promise I'm not going to hurt you."

"Well, I trust your word, although I shouldn't. Here look there's an exit." He said, and frowned when Akira made no move to take the exit. "You missed it."

"Keep driving Akira." He ordered again.

"I have to go to a therapy appointment. My mom's waiting for me. I have to go to the bathroom. My leg hurts." He looked at Kirishima and cringed. "No?"

"I'm not going to hurt you." He promised again.

"Yeah but HE might." Akihito said. His ass already hurt thinking about the perverting things Asami might do to him. And then, there was that whole leg thing. How were they supposed to….ya know..when he wasn't a whole man anymore? Besides, what made him think Asami wanted him that way anymore? Not just the leg alone, but his body had a lot of scars, and they looked rather nasty.

"Asami won't hurt you, why would he? That doesn't make sense." He said in a confusing tone.

"Hasn't stopped him before." Akihito replied, and shrugged his shoulders. "In case you forgot that first…little incident."

He cringed. "Actually he might hurt me, seeing as how…I let the cat out of the bag." He replied.

"You don't mind getting into trouble with him?"

"I don't mind a reasonable amount of trouble."

He narrowed his eyes. "This is too much trouble, even for you...so let me out and we'll call it even." He responded, looking hopeful. "Just pretend you didn't see me….I'm a ghost…and I'm gone…..poof."

"You should be honest. You said you love him…and..he….uh….."

"Yeah…uh…there's your answer." He responded and shrugged. "Do you really believe in love between men?"

"Yes, I do." The way Asami flew into a rage when Akihito was kidnapped, the way he threw his cell phone against the wall when his boy lay in a coma in a hospital in Afghanistan, Asami loved the boy, he just had a funny way of showing it. "You think three little words would make a difference?"

"Three little words? Three words can have a lot of impact. Let It Be. It's a boy. Are you ok? Do your best." He replied, sounding far older than his chronological age. "Or my dad's favorite: visualize whirled peas…..you know…along those lines."

It stunned Kirishima for a moment. "He sent you away to grow up a little, and I think you have."

"Yeah, I had a birthday. Asshole." He said rudely.

"I take it back." He said sharply.

"Are you going to kill me? Because I will haunt you the rest of your life if you do." He said and waved his hands around. "I'm a scary scary ghost."

Kirishima choked back a laugh. "I said before, I'm not going to kill you….just look at me." Akihito obeyed with seriousness on his face. "You don't trust me?"

"I've got nothing against trusting, but in the past, I've been burned by it." He sat back against the seat, looking calm and rather amused. "So..now…I'm a little more cautious, that's all."

"Yes, you have grown up." He said.

"Which is why I wouldn't take that drink you've been trying to shove down my throat. I have a low tolerance for roofie-laced cocktails." He sneered.

"I can assure you, the drink was more to calm you down. I have an aversion to tears."

"Hmm." Akihito clasped his hands behind his head. "Well, I have an aversion to being kidnapped. But seeing as I'm stuck here…"

"Yes?"

"I might as well take a nap."

"Now?"

"Unless you want to have this conversation all over again." He said crossly.

"Not really, once was enough."

"Then wake me when we get wherever we are going. I don't keep gangster's hours anymore. I'm beat."

He laughed again. "Does this mean you trust me?"

Akihito opened one eye and raised his eyebrow. "If you planned to strong-arm me, you would have done it already. So I think I'm safe, for now." He closed the eye again and settled back. His breathing immediately became deep and even.

Kirishima smirked and sat back himself, watching the dark clouds move on to rain on someone else's parade. Asami's boy had become a man.