This chapter is very long. There was simply no sensible place to break it. Tomorrow's will be very short.

I should also say there's mild sexual content in this chapter, but there's nothing explicit at all and it's entirely consensual.

In the end, Jean didn't go to the main dining hall for dinner. She, Scott and Storm ate downstairs, she didn't quite feel ready to have that many people staring at her.

"Is it worth taking bloods again, do you think?" Storm said as they finished eating. "Just to make sure everything's…"

"The leukogram won't have gone completely yet." Jean said. "But we should probably check everything else."

"I'll take plates up while you do that then." Scott offered, getting up.

"Thanks." Storm said. "And Scott," He turned back to look at her. "I changed the board so it's my night tonight, not yours."

He looked down. "Thanks. I'll swap out with you for something else."

"No, don't worry about it. I think you could both use the sleep."

"Thanks." Scott said. "But I will pay you back in kind."

.

The Professor came down about half an hour later, just after Jean's bloods had come back clean (apart from the stress leukogram, which she hadn't expected to be gone). Kurt followed him down and stood by the infirmary door uncertainly, as though he thought he might be sent out.

"I shan't keep you long." The Professor said. "But I feel we need to settle this. Can anyone think of a compelling reason to confine Jean to the infirmary?"

No one said anything for a minute.

"There's an 'isolate if' protocol." Storm said. "She doesn't fit any of the criteria for that."

"Jean, do you feel that you're adequately in control of your powers?"

"Yes." She did. She hadn't made anything shake or made any lights flicker since she'd got back. The only involuntary stuff that had happened to her since the lake had been the dreams, and even they hadn't happened when she'd fallen asleep today, even though Scott had fallen asleep with his head inches from hers.

"In that case, I think we ought to release you, and I advise you to go to bed."

Jean smiled. "I think I'll take that advice." She was so tired. Even though she'd slept a few hours in the day, she was tired. But that wasn't all she wanted at the moment. She'd get to that. That wasn't just dependent on her.

"That said, I'd like to keep someone near you, just in case anything…"

That didn't even require an answer. Scott had hardly let go of her since she'd come back. He was sitting next to her even now, his hand in hers. The Professor looked at him and met his eye, then nodded.

"I'll bid you all goodnight then." He turned and started for the door, which Kurt went to open for him. "And if anyone comes up with a sensible explanation for how someone who can't breathe under water and has no known regenerative capacity managed to survive five days in a lake with no ill effects, I'd be very interested to hear it." He finished, over his shoulder, smiling.

Jean smiled. She didn't have any theories. Scott let go of her hand, put his hand on her shoulder and kissed the side of her head.

"You have no idea, do you?"

She shook her head. "Not a clue. I should be dead from three or four different things but…"

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"This from the guy who shoots lasers out of his eyes."

Scott laughed softly. "Touché." He paused. "Are you tired enough to go straight to bed or…"

"Certainly to start heading that way." She got up. He followed her, taking her hand. This was so unlike him. He seemed to be afraid that if he let go of her, she'd disappear again. That was fair enough, she supposed.

Without really deciding to, she reached out for his mind. He was unfocused, bits of the day were flicking through his mind, and bits of the past ten days, bits of the dreams, bits of his grief, once or twice a flicker of the base under Alkali Lake, where Stryker had made him attack her. That hurt him, every time he recalled it. And underneath it all-

"Get a hold of yourself. She's been back all of ten hours, she's exhausted. She's not going to be the least bit interested."

Interesting. In spite of the nature of some of the dreams they'd shared… Jean suppressed a smile. He was right though, she was tired, and they'd have things to say to each other once they were alone and unlikely to be disturbed. Anything else could wait a while.

Their room was almost exactly as she'd left it, down to the journals piled up by her side of the bed.

"You hadn't started-"

"No." He closed the door behind them. "No, I… couldn't." He was still looking at the door handle. "I wasn't ready. All your stuff is still…"

Jean walked over to the foot of their bed and sat down. "Maybe some part of you knew, somehow."

"I doubt it." He sat down beside her. "I think if I'd even suspected you could be alive I wouldn't have felt…" He tailed off. She knew. She'd felt it. Every time she'd dreamed with him.

She pulled him in to her arms. He held her back, just as firmly. "It's okay." She breathed. "It's okay, it's over." The backs of her eyes were prickling again.

Scott took a gasp of breath, pushing against her embrace, and let it go again. "Who's supposed to be comforting who?"

"It can go both ways." She said. "And I think we're both allowed to cry."

He gave a soft cough that might have been trying to be a laugh.

"Why did you do it?" He asked after a minute.

"We would all have died." She said. "You, me, the Professor, Storm, Kurt, Logan and half a dozen of the children. That's hardly a choice."

"You didn't know how bad the jet was, I was going to try to fix it."

"Would you have made it?"

"No, it… There was a hole in the fuel line to the verticals, we were lucky the whole thing didn't blow up."

"How did..?"

"Magneto." His voice was almost shaking with anger. "Or one of his… John had some idea how the jet worked, he was interested, so I was showing him bits. John went with Magneto, he must have shown him how to sabotage the jet."

Jean hissed softly. "If it had just been us, just X-men… Arthur's thirteen."

"Mutant child's a weapon to Magneto. Nothing else. Think about how he used Rogue…"

"Yeah."

He took another gasp of breath. "It feels like… It feels like whichever side, whether they're trying to wipe us out or wipe humans out, either way, we're just weapons. Just things to be used."

She felt a sharp spike of pain from him, pain and shame. She held him tighter. Her hand found a raw little circular mark on the nape of his neck, half healed. He hissed as though in pain, then flinched and grabbed at her hand, pulling back from her.

"Don't."

He was breathing harder now. Then it occurred to her where she'd seen a mark like that before. Kurt, when they'd first found him, had had one.

"Scott-"

"Don't."

"Scott, what did he do to you?" Scott was sitting straight now, his hands clenching the bedclothes by his sides, jaw set, eyes down.

"I tried to kill you."

"Scott-"

"And I think I did the damage to the dam. If I hadn't done that, the-"

"Scott, Stryker nearly succeeded in making the Professor kill every mutant on the planet. He has had a really, really long time to get good at abusing us." Scott sunk further. She put her arm around him again. He didn't shrink away. "Will you show me?"

For a moment, he didn't move or speak, then he shifted to face her, straightening up, looking at her now. Tentatively, she raised her hands to his head. He put his on her shoulders. There was no reason for that other than habit. She reached for him.

Noise, the flickering distress and relief that were coloring everything in here at the moment, then it became clear what he was trying to lead her to.

Kneeling on a concrete floor, hands cuffed behind his back, then those cuffs tied to the floor and to the ceiling, he was immobilized. There was a blindfold over his visor too. His knees hurt, his shoulders hurt, his back hurt. He'd tried to move a few times, but it had earned him a hard kick in the ribs each time. So now he was just waiting. If they'd been going to kill him, whoever 'they' were, they'd probably have done it already.

He heard a metal door clang open. He resisted the urge to look up, he wouldn't have been able to see anything anyway. Then a man's voice.

"Has he struggled much?"

"No, he gave up pretty quick."

"Also suggests he's not freakishly strong or anything, maybe it is just his eyes. Okay, let's give this a go." Give what a go? Scott felt his breathing pick up speed. "Now remember, this male is very destructive, but not that resilient, so far as we can tell."

"I am a man," Scott said, fighting to keep his voice level. "not an animal. I have a name and a-" Someone kicked him in the ribs, hard.

"Do not go anywhere near that visor, but I need his head restrained."

What were they going to do to him? Maybe there'd be a right time to struggle. Someone grabbed a fistful of hair on the top of his head. He pulled down, gasping in pain.

"That's just as easy." Someone put a knee on his back, his head was being pulled out forwards, he was hissing breaths, between pain and fear. What were they going to do to him?

Something stung and burned at the back of his neck. He shrunk towards the floor as though he could duck away from it, but it seemed to sink deeper, through his skin. A wave of pain, like a bashed elbow, ran down his back. He twitched and gasped, then a sharp, knifing pain seemed to go straight through his head. Then it passed.

"Sit up." The man's voice said. The hand had let go of his hair, he didn't see any reason why he shouldn't. He straightened his back. "Okay, seems good, take him off the chains." Something behind him clicked. "Now get up." Scott got to his feet, without considering why. "Turn around." Again, he just did it. Why did this not matter to him? Why was he just doing as he was told? "And back again." Before he'd even paused to think, he found himself doing as the voice said.

"I'd say he's converted." A different man said.

"Well, it's always worth being sure with these powerful ones. Take the cuffs off him." Scott should have freed his eyes, hit out, done something. But for some reason, he didn't. He just couldn't summon the will. His hands fell to his sides as they were freed. Someone took the blindfold off him. He was still wearing the visor. Around him were four armed men and a woman, the same woman he'd fought at Magneto's prison. "Right, you have work to do. There are mutant intruders in the base. Go find them. Kill any uncontained mutant you see, except her," He indicated the woman. "and give no warning. They're in the West second corridor, close to the dam. That way. Go."

And he went. He'd been let go. He should just run, find the Professor and run. But he had work to do. He had to find the intruders. What? No he didn't. He didn't belong to that guy, he'd been holding him hostage. He'd probably do better to team up with the 'mutant intruders' than attack them. Either way he had to find them first. He sped up.

There they were, three of them. A heterochrome and – Jean, that was Jean. He raised a hand to his visor and – No! Stop! No! What are you doing! That's Jean!

The beam shot out from his eyes. She'd seen him coming, he hadn't landed a hit. Thank God. What the hell had he done that for?

She shouted an order to the other two, Magneto and Mystique? What were they doing together? What the hell was going on? What the hell was wrong with him? He took another shot at where he thought she was. Thankfully he was wrong. He'd only have to hit her once. He had to stop this. He had to stop this now. But he couldn't. He couldn't make himself stop trying to kill her.

Jean pulled back. She didn't need to see this. She knew. She didn't disengage all at once, that tended to be very uncomfortable. So she still felt Scott being thrown backwards by her power, things sped up, the blast from Scott she'd taken head on, then the blow she'd landed him and the damage that had done to the cavern.

She pulled back completely. Both of them were panting.

"Stryker." She said, settling her hands on his shoulders. "All on Stryker. You were not responsible for that." He said nothing. She laid her hands on the sides of his neck and pressed her forehead to his. "Hey. You would never hurt me. You'd never hurt any of us. That wasn't you."

"Sure as hell felt like me."

"You don't… you're not as familiar with the way the mind works as I am." She pulled back slightly, so she could see his face. "I've been in more people's heads. I've had the Professor control me so he could teach me to resist control, that's what it feels like, like you're a spectator in your own body. It's terrifying. And it's what Kurt remembered. He managed to get the effect of a really powerful telepath doing their worst in to whatever that fluid was, and-"

"It's Cerebrospinal fluid."

"What?"

"It's the cerebrospinal fluid of another telepath, one he'd…" Scott shifted, so they were sitting side by side, arms round each others waists, again. "the word the Professor used was 'subsumed'."

Jean felt her mouth fall slightly open. That was disgusting. "How? I mean, how do you get CSF to carry power like that? And who does it bond you… who does it make you obey?"

Scott shook his head. "Apparently Stryker. I don't know. You'd have to ask The Professor. I've spent a lot of the last… trying not to think about it."

Jean nodded. "Okay."

Scott took a breath. "So what… happened to you? After you came out of the lake, you said you hitched but…"

So she told him. She told him about Jayden and Lars and Marie and Isaac, falling asleep to Lars's awful music, helping Isaac revise – apparently she couldn't stop being a teacher just because she fell in a lake. He'd asked her the question to distract himself from what Stryker had done to him. He wanted comfort. She gave him that. She didn't mention Troy other than to say that he hadn't been talkative, which was true, and she didn't mention the other guys by the fire in Kamloops. She didn't want to load him with her fear, her pain, not right now. He had enough to deal with.

"-and found myself face to face with Logan with three sharp spikes pointed at my neck. He thought I was Mystique or something."

"That's…" Scott tilted his head. "That's not entirely unreasonable."

"I know, but… It was the last thing I needed. I was just so tired."

"At least he didn't actually stab you." Scott said after a moment.

"I guess. Anyway, you know the rest. I'm home."

"Yeah." He put his second arm around her and pulled her closer. "You're home." He kissed the side of her head. She kissed him an inch below the ear, that was just where she'd ended up.

They stayed like that for several minutes. After a while, something that had gone quiet in Jean began to reassert itself, to remind her that she could just ask him. The worst he could do was say no, and she wouldn't be any worse off if he did. And she knew he was interested, she'd heard him reining it in in himself earlier.

"Scott," He drew back slightly so he could see her. She drew back in return and straightened up. "I want you to take me."

He didn't move for a second, he clearly hadn't been expecting that. "You… You serious?"

"Do you think I'd mess you about like that?"

"No, but… I thought you'd want to get some rest."

"It's early yet." She glanced at the clock. "Not even nine. If you don't want to-"

"Did you see what I dreamed… was it three nights ago?" Jean nodded. She thought she knew what he was talking about. "Of course I want to, I just didn't think you did."

"So if you want to and I want to…" She looked up at him, tilting her head, exposing her neck. She settled one hand on his arm. Then he moved. The arm around her waist came up towards her shoulders, he put his other hand on the side of her neck and kissed her. She was home. She was safe.

"Anything specific?" He asked as they broke apart.

She leant forward and touched her mouth to the skin just below his ear. "Just… be gentle with me." This would be nothing like what she'd seen in Troy's head, she didn't think Scott was capable of behaving like that, but she didn't want to recall that. Not even for a moment.

He brushed her neck with his lips. "Okay. I think I can do that."

She let herself get lost in him, in the familiar lines and movements of his body. She was home, she was safe.

It wasn't until she reached for his belt that she stopped herself. She should have thought of this earlier.

"Scott, condom."

"Sorry, what?" He looked back at her face.

"Condom please. I've had some sort of regeneration cycle, I don't want to assume that this is working." She pulled at the skin over her progesterone implant and felt it slip between her fingers.

Scott nodded. "Yeah, of course. I think I've got a couple. Hang on."

I apologise if the contraception remarks bother you. My medic-brain kicked in and wondered if a regeneration cycle would mess up non-barrier contraception, then decided that that would occur to Jean, who would do something about it.

As ever, please review.