Preacher's Daughter

Chapter 21: Wading In Deeper

I had never given much thought to my high school years; they went by me without incident. My one and only friend married after graduation and moved away, leaving me with more time to spend with Daryl. I didn't mind really and all those juvenile high school boys were never more than a nuisance.

Listening to Eddie reminisce about days gone by suddenly filled me with thoughts I hadn't had in years. I never got to enjoy days at school with Daryl, he'd dropped out when I was a freshmen, but that didn't stop me for roaming the woods with him when I'd play hooky.

Daryl seemed to be enjoying Eddie's company; he didn't have a whole lot of friends outside my family. With three more glasses of sweet tea, I pause at the screen door listening to Eddie go on about me.

"Listen Dixon, I don't know much about Bobbi Jo but what I do know is she ain't the type to blow smoke up your ass. When she said she only had eyes for you she meant it. She smacked the shit out of my cousin for bad mouthing you once. I know she may not seem like a preacher's daughter, with her tomboy ways and foul mouth, but she is." Eddie leans in closer to Daryl, Daryl turning to look at him.

Playing absent mindedly with the scruff on his chin, Daryl gives him a curious look. "If you think she's some sweet little preacher's daughter yer dead wrong. I know B.J. and that ain't her."

"Can you tell me of any other guy she's been with besides you? Hey, before you get your redneck flared up all I'm sayin is I know she's never been with anyone but you. She's fierce loyal to her family, she'd fight a bear over you. There are thangs about her that are all about how she was raised. My maw and her paw are good people; they raised two hellcats but still good people." They begin to laugh when I walk out with the tea.

Daryl waits till I put the glasses down before grabbing me by the waist and pulling me down in his lap. He kisses my forehead, his hands resting on my stomach. "Dixon … you're gonna hurt your leg."

"My leg is fine … stay put." His strong arms hold me down, my face starting to turn a bright red as Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I do as I'm told, but with Eddie looking at me like that I'm about to burst into flames. I take this opportunity to ask the boys a few questions that had been plaguing my thoughts. Leaning back against Daryl, I place my feet up next to his on the ottoman. "Okay, so I'm curious."

Eddie's left eyebrow raises, a playful smirk curling up on his lips. Daryl rests his chin on my shoulder, his hot breath making the hairs on my neck stand up. I have to take a sip of tea to collect my thoughts again. Eddie leans back in the rocker, putting his hands behind his head. "Oh, this is gonna be good."

I put my hands over Daryl's, giving Eddie a serious stare. "I went to high school with you and Daryl I've been runnin with him since I was twelve, but I get the feeling there are things about the two of you I don't know. So, the Andrew's girl … what's the story there?"

I can see the look in Eddie's eyes as he stares back at Daryl. It didn't take me long to understand, I had just opened a very large can of worms.

"Do you want to answer that or shall I, Dixon?" Eddie places his hands back on the arms of the rocker, Daryl shrugging his shoulders.

"Let me get a few things out there first, miss nosey. Meg and Molly are party girls and they enjoy the company of men. Molly is a sweet girl and I'd like to think she and I have an understanding. Meg on the other hand lives at the free clinic. From what I understand if you want a good time you see Meg." Eddie stops, takes a sip of tea then looks me dead in the eyes.

I feel suddenly uncomfortable, as if I walked in one a private moment. Daryl's fingers take my chin, pulling my face to look him. "If yer wonderin if I've been with those gurls you can ask me?"

"Alright Dixon … have you been with those girls." The words fly out of my mouth before I have to chance to really think about them.

His body straightens up; his arms go loose around my waist. "Yeah … I have. I was lit like a Christmas tree when Molly came on to me. Meg was always Merle's gurl; she never looked at me that way."

My body shifts in his lap, my eyes taking in the doleful look on his face. "Those other girls, they were just sex to you, I get that. It's just … all that time I waited for you Daryl you were with them. I gave you the one thing that was special to me and you didn't touch me again for nine years. I spent all that time wonderin what the hell they had that I didn't."

Daryl stiffens up, his hands leaving mine. "They didn't have a damn thang on you. You don't get it do you Bobbi Jo, after all these years you still don't get it." He slides me out of his lap, hobbling back into the house.

"What did I say?" I look at Eddie with confusion clinging to my face.

Eddie gets up and puts an arm around my shoulders. "He sees you as being too good for him. To Dixon, you're this perfect, untouched thing that he doesn't have the right to be with. I get where he's coming from, I'm just a good old boy that loves drinkin, huntin and screwin. I see the preacher's daughter with her shy smile, pretty blue eyes and big heart and I get why Dixon did what he did. Those other girls he didn't have to give two shits about do, he did his thang and let it go. You, well you're different. You're in his heart Baker, you're the one thang that's always been good in his life and he didn't want to ruin that with sex. Now that he has you, I think he fights daily not to do some fuckin dumbass thang to ruin it."

I can feel the truth in his words hit me hard, my chest feeling as if a ton of weight was piling it on. "When the hell did you get so smart Thomas? How would you know what he's feelin?"

His arms drop from my shoulders, his gray eyes dull in the moonlight. "Remember Hannah, we dated for a few years after high school. She was too good for me too, and I never understood why she loved me. Like Dixon did with you, I kept her at arm's length. He let you be his friend instead and I should have done that with Hannah."

After he walks in the house, I stand there in the warm spring air with all my emotions bleeding over the pristine white porch. His words cut into my heart as surely as if he'd taken a scapula to my chest. Tears roll down my face, dripping off my trembling chin. Walking down the steps, I feel my chest tighten. I had dared to dig up what should have been left buried. The fact that Daryl loves me now should have been enough.

I keep walking until I reach Ann's flower garden, a stone bench sitting in the middle. A small coy pond nestled between the roses, tulips and irises. The blinking yellow glow of the fireflies swims around me, the thick heat clinging to my skin. Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I curse myself for being so stupid.

My tears soon become sobs that roll over me like a summer storm. I crumble to the ground, my face buried in my hands. Daryl thinking he had not right to love me,crushes me, the sorrow in my heart finally understanding the doubt and sadness that lived inside him.

"Bobbi Jo!" Daryl yells at me from the porch, but I don't answer him. I wasn't ready to face him just yet, the burden I had put on him was still pushing on me.

"B.J. … dammit answers me!" He yells again, this time a little sterner.

Not wanting a full on pissed off redneck, I pull myself from the grass. "I'm here Daryl."

"You comin in … it's gettin late." I look up to see his figure at the top of the porch steps.

Languidly, I make my way back to him. He takes my hand, his other gripping the crutch under his arm. We make our way back inside, his hand pulling me to the kitchen.

I sit at the table, Eddie eating the pecan pie out of the pie pan. "Hey, can we have a minute?"

With his cheeks looking like a chipmunk, Eddie takes the pie pan with him. He barely clears the room when Daryl gives me that blue steel stare.

"We ain't goin back down memory lane again B.J. so go ahead and ask whatever ya want." He sits down in front of me, pulling his chair up close.

"I'm good Daryl, whatever happen in you past is just that … your past." I rub my eyes, my tears stinging them again.

"Damn gurl, yer the one that started this. Yeah, I've been with other gurls, so what. How's it my fault you spent all those years pining after me. I'm sorry if I ain't what you thought I was. I've fucked other gurls Bobbi Jo … get over it." I knew he was upset but I never thought he'd be downright mean about it.

A small flame sparks in me, his words erasing my tears. "You are an ass Daryl Dixon. I was just curious about the girls you'd been with. It's a good thang I love you or I'd kick your fuckin ass for speakin to me that way. Yeah part of me hurts because you've been with other girls, but I'm not blind or stupid. Excuse me for givin you my virginity and damn me to hell for being jealous that someone else has known your touch, felt you inside them. Maybe I should go find me some dumb drunk redneck and see if I can understand where you're comin from Daryl."

The look on his face tells me I've crossed a line and I wanted so badly to shove those last few words back in. He grabs my face, kissing me so hard I can't breathe. I can feel his anger in that kiss, his tongue parting my lips.

Giving into the heat, the raw power of his anger, I let him do want he will. His lips travel hungrily from mine, down my jaw and across my neck. My body was now his to claim, his lips leaving his mark.

I feel his hands leave my face, going to my waist. He lifts me up, placing me on the kitchen table. My legs part, allowing him to settle between them. He leans against me, his chest rubbing against my now hardening nipples. The feel of his hands sliding under my shirt causes my flesh to prickle.

"Daryl … oh Daryl." The sound that comes from me is a mixture of love and lust. He lets a feral growl escape his lips as his fingers slide down my stomach to the waistband of my jeans. My fingers twist in his hair, his lips moving into my exposed cleavage.

I lean back on the table, his fingers moving quickly to undo my jeans. My chest heaves as I look into the ravenous blue of his eyes. I could tell he wanted me, but there was a bit of reservation there too. Leaning back up, I hold his face lightly. "I love you."

He stops fumbling with my jeans, our eyes connect. "I don't know why you do but don't ever stop."

The mood in the room goes from wanton to earnest. I push myself off the table, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I won't … I can't." Taking his hand, I'm determined to finish what we started in the bedroom.