Chapter 21
Beverly paced, knowing that she would be called in front of the board soon, and that her career would end in those minutes which would seem like an eternity. "You are to be dishonourably discharged. You are no longer worthy of that uniform. Go from this room." She trembled at the thought of hearing those words said to her.
I'd do it all again, though. In a heartbeat.
She saw Deanna come into the hallway outside the hearing room, a look of pain on her face.
"Deanna! What is it?"
"Nothing, Beverly. How are you doing?"
"Worried as hell, but doing ok. Will came by this morning to see how I was doing. I've had a lot of visitors – today is the big day, I guess. Do you know where Jean-Luc is? I'd like to see him before – well, before I'm no longer an officer."
Deanna had a look of extreme distress on her face. "He, uh, he is giving testimony right now."
"What's with the look? We all knew he'd have to give testimony against me-" Beverly's face fell. "Deanna, what testimony is he giving?"
Troi looked away, and mumbled something incoherent.
"Deanna, WHAT TESTIMONY IS HE GIVING?!" Beverly's voice raised to a shattering crescendo. Several officers in the hall looked up at the commotion.
"Beverly, he's doing it for you. Please, don't be mad at-"
"Mad!? What he is doing is mad! Deanna, don't tell me he is taking the blame!"
"Beverly, it's what he wanted, Will and I-"
"Will and you are letting him do this!? What kind of idiots are you?!" Beverly stormed off.
Deanna called to the security officers in front of the doors to the hearing room. "Stop her from entering the hearing!" The guards moved to block the door. They were large men, over six feet tall, but Beverly gave it a shot nonetheless. Screaming at the top of her lungs at them, she demanded to be let into where her love was hanging himself in a legal noose. Her struggle was in vain.
"You are Jean-Luc Picard, commanding officer of the USS Enterprise, Starfleet Serial Number SP-937-215. Born July 13, 2305?"
"Yes."
"You are hereby invested as a witness concerning the actions of one Doctor Beverly Crusher, former Chief Medical Officer of the USS Enterprise. You are advised that testimony given here is given under oath, and that perjury is a serious offence under the Federation Criminal Act of 2212. Do you understand what is required of you?"
"Yes."
"How would you characterise Doctor Crusher's mental state?"
"I am no expert in the field of neurology or psychology. It would be inappropriate for me to comment on-"
"As a Starfleet Captain, Captain Picard has had to analyse the mental preparedness of those under his command, including Doctor Crusher. I submit to the board that Captain Picard is, in fact, qualified to give a statement on the accused's mental state."
"Answer the Commander's question, Captain Picard."
Picard paused before answering. "I could not have asked for a more balanced Doctor, Commander. She was an excellent Chief Medical Officer."
"And yet, we have heard the testimony of two young ensigns that say Doctor Crusher drugged both of them with a vaccine, and stole Starfleet property, including a Captain's Yacht, weapons, armour, and several boxes of Tactical Gear, and then violated a Starfleet Expeditionary Ban on a planet. Would you characterise that as the actions of an officer in a balanced state of mind?"
"Commander, Beverly Crusher was in a balanced state of mind because she was following orders."
"Orders, Captain? Starfleet issued no such orders."
"They were not issued by Starfleet," Picard said quietly, taking the plunge, "they were issued by me."
The hearing room was abuzz with murmurs of incredulity and shock. The three Admirals who were to decide the fate of Beverly, now looked amongst themselves at this new development.
Admiral Gains, the chairwoman of the board, rang the bell for order, vainly trying to regain control of the loud room, and said "my colleagues and I require time to discuss these developments. This hearing will have an hour's recess."
Picard got up, and moved to the door, shaking with nerves as he realised what was happening. The doors were flung open, and reporters crowded around the portal, clamouring for statements and soundbites. Picard refused to give any, and stolidly moved through the throng, letting them fall upon the observers behind him. Finally reaching the outside, he was able to breathe. He felt sick, his stomach turning at the thoughts of dishonour and discommendation. He heard a woman's voice behind him.
"Jean-Luc, what the hell are you doing? Have you lost all sense? They're going to be able to see through this, and I'll set them straight. There were no orders!"
He turned to the beautiful redhead with the soft blue eyes, and saw that they were not so soft right now. She was mad. She was incredibly mad. But he'd stay the course. Steady as she goes...
He offered no explanation, just stared at her, willing his eyes not to betray his feelings at what had happened. He was not sorry that he was saving her career. He was sorry that this situation had ever arisen in the first place. Damn Nechayev.
"Jean-Luc, are you just going to stand their, silent? I think I deserve an explanation!"
"Beverly, I-" No words came, and all he could do was shake is head, and move towards the outer doors.
She looked heartbroken, the anger replaced by pain. "Why? Why the hell did you think this would make me happy? Why the hell did you have to play the martyr again? Don't you think you've given enough?"
He stayed silent.
"Jean-Luc, I wasn't acting under your order. I loved you, I have always loved you, and I went to you because of that love, not because of any duty I needed to perform. And now, now people are going to think that you are some selfish, vain old man, who ordered an expedition to save his life, when the people who went went because they care for you."
She shook her head, sadly, "they still care for you, and you have cheapened their sacrifices. Did you think I went into this thinking I would be hailed as a hero? I went into this with my eyes open, and my heart bleeding for you. Starfleet needs you, I need you, and all of us need you not to be in the stock for the next fifteen years."
Jean-Luc kept his face impassable, but opened his mouth. "Beverly, you do more good than I do. You save people, and the best I can look forward to in this war is just losing more people, killing more people, and having a hell of a bad time of it. No, this isn't about martyrdom, or my sacrifice, or my own glory. I'm done."
He turned, and began to walk away, his lip trembling with the effort of maintaining control. I will not weep. Not here, not in front of Starfleet, or the press.
Beverly ran after him, and grabbed his arm, spinning him around. Tears were hot in her eyes. "You can be a real bastard sometimes, you know that? How dare you? How dare you denigrate your own achievements? How dare you betray the trust that thousands have placed in you? Do you know what the lower decks call you? Papa. Rachel and Bellia? The two ensigns who risked their lives to bring you back think of you as a father! A father, Jean-Luc, and you are repaying their belief in you with stupidity. I'd gladly go into retirement to make sure you stayed in command. Fuck, half the fleet would retire to make sure you stayed in command. My career was small potatoes to give up to make sure of your return. I can practise medicine almost everywhere. What the hell are you going to do with 'Starship Captain' on your resume?"
"I was, uh, thinking about archaeology-"
"ARCHAEOLOGY?! Jean-Luc, there is a war going on! Or hadn't you noticed? Did you amputate your brain along with you leg, or are you being particularly thick-headed right now? Gods help us, but we don't need another archaeologist right now, we need Picard of the Enterprise, whose exploits have inspired thousands, who invented the Picard Manoeuvre, and who is probably the greatest leader since, hell, I don't even know. I love you, more dearly than my own life, but so help me, Jean-Luc Picard, if you go into archaeology, I'll kick your goddamn ass. And you know I can." Her tirade had attracted the attention of the news crews around, and they had caught the gist of what was said.
"Beverly, please, keep it down-"
"Keep it down? Jean-Luc, right now, if the Chief of Staff was standing behind me, I'd still tell you to pull your head out of your ass, and think about what you are doing!"