Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Shego: The Future Is Already Here –

On the weird scale of one to ten, spending the Fourth of July hanging with Princess and Clueless was an eleven.

She's a pushy brat and way too full of herself... Exactly like I'd been at that age. I sighed. I got over it, maybe she will too.

Her dad reminds me of my own. I wonder if he watched too much Captain Constellation as a kid too. Damn, I hate that show, but had to watch the reruns with my Dad and brothers. I'd like to think my Dad realized during reruns it was sexist crap, but maybe not. I think he still saw it with the rosy colored glasses of his youth.

Kim's mom... She didn't remind me of anyone... Well, maybe the cheerleader. I think having Anne as a mother explains a lot about Kim. She scares me. I suspected if she ever wanted to take over the world she could damn well do it.

It had been wrong to hang around with them. My job description includes beating up do-gooders as necessary, and I've never liked punching out friends. Not that I consider the cheerleader an actual friend, but she has wonderful taste... I might even call it exquisite. But my life requires keeping my professional and personal lives strictly apart.

Pumpkin seemed slightly distracted at the start of the next class, but she got her head together and it was a good session. At the end she told me, "I'll buy you the ice cream now."

"That was a joke. You don't need to."

"No, I... I want to talk, okay?"

I put the back of my hand to my forehead, and assumed an anguished tone, "It's about our relationship, isn't it. You're dumping me! Dumping me for another woman."

I thought it was pretty funny. Princess did not seemed amused. "Talk, please?"

"Fine," I sighed. I had no idea what the cheerleader wanted to talk to me about. My best guess was that she was going to go street corner evangelist on me and ask me to repent and come back to the narrow way. If that was her plan it was going to take more than a pint of Ben and Jerry's to keep me talking.

The grocery store had little flat wooden 'spoons' for those with a serious case of the munchies who need to indulge immediately and we picked up a couple of those before leaving. There's a tired little park near the grocery... I've mentioned that its not a great neighborhood, right? I can imagine parents taking their kids to the park during daylight hours. Only people likely to be around after dark are junkies and dealers. Of course the cops probably know that and cruise by regularly. So the smarter junkies and dealers, if such a thing exists, probably avoid the spot.

Some big guy with no neck was the only person in the park. No-neck said something. I didn't catch his words, but I didn't like his tone. The hand not carrying the ice cream blazed with green plasma flame and No-neck backed away, fast. He watched us sit down on the swings, stared for a couple minutes and then walked away. I gave the odds of his coming back with some friends at about fifteen percent. He probably marked us as a couple undercover cops, but since no one had seen him back down he didn't have to return and prove he had a set of balls.

Princess and I opened our ice creams and started eating. Other than the occasional car going by on the next street over the night was fairly quiet.

I waited for her to say something. I got the vibe she wanted to say something, but she remained silent. I figured she needed to work up courage to ask why I was such a sinner and why didn't I get down on my knees and repent. I don't need that garbage, but I was tired of the silence. "Well, what's up?" I demanded.

"You don't like me, do you?"

Okay, that I didn't expect. "I... Well, we fight too often to be friends... I'm afraid I don't understand... Hey, I haven't tried to really hurt you in a long time."

"You've even saved my life a couple times."

"Thanks for noticing. But I'm still lost."

"You wouldn't sugar coat anything. You'll tell me the truth, if you think I've done something wrong or something?"

"Okay, how did you fuck up?"

"Ron and I–"

"I don't need to hear about your love life."

"Please?"

I held my hand for silence and thought a minute, then shrugged. "What the hell. Go ahead."

Ron was her best friend. She didn't want to lose him as best friend. He was a lousy boyfriend. Maybe it was her fault. (In my opinion, based on what she said, he sucked at being a boyfriend. On the other hand, her version could be slanted.) She was frustrated and worried she might blow her stack with him. He wasn't headed for the same college she was.

It was all pretty normal fears associated with leaving home and not knowing what lie ahead in life. I gave the occasional nod or other little cue I was listening. I think she just needed someone to vent to. And, another guess, she's probably unloaded it on Monique several times before – maybe often enough Monique told her to bend someone else's ear for a change.

Princess finally wound down and asked, "Well?"

"Well what? You hoping to get a helpful insight out of me?"

"I wouldn't mind."

I laughed, "Look at my life, Pumpkin, I'm the queen of bad choices."

I tried to reassure her with the standard, "No one knows the future," kind of crap. It's one hundred percent true, but it's no bloody help when you want the answer to life's questions NOW. The problem is that no one has the answer to life's questions NOW. I'm not even sure we've got life's real questions, just some selfish questions about ourselves. Hell, I knew I'd settle for the real questions. But I gave her the standard reassurances.

That was all I planned to do. We kept talking for awhile, and for some damn reason I found myself spilling my guts to her about my own frustrations.

The conversation was rudely interrupted by her phone ringing. "Oh my gosh, it's almost one... It's my mom." I'll give the kid credit for guts, she admitted to her mom she was out talking with me, insisted she hadn't realized how late it was, and promised to be home soon.

I'd left my empty ice cream carton on the ground. The kid picked it up for me and threw it out as we left the park. Somehow I wasn't surprised. She did surprise me as she got into her car to drive home. She suddenly asked, "Can I have your phone number?"

My brain was in neutral. It was too late and I was in an artificial state of euphoria brought on by Cherry Garcia. I gave it to her.

I kicked myself all the way back to the lair. Why didn't I just draw her a map showing where I was?