Disclaimer: No. Nothing at all.

Chapter 21

I crept toward my cabin, hands shoved into the pockets of my cargo pants, Polemos at my heels. Glancing through the window, I noted that all of my siblings seemed to be sleeping. Perfect.

Mom had stayed a bit yesterday but, knowing she couldn't stay at camp, left late afternoon to find a hotel. Chris had been with me the entire time except for dinner, and considering how quickly he returned, I could only guess that he'd given most, if not all, of his meal to the gods. Not that I brought up the issue, not when he could just as easily turn it around on me. Anyway, I'd managed to fall asleep, only to be awaken by another nightmare (screaming, so much screaming, and nothing I could do about it), which is what brought me here. I figured surprising my cabin early enough would keep them from talking about the...incident.

Opening the door just a bit, I kicked it the rest of the way open and barked, "Alright, get up!"

The reaction was almost instantaneous, everyone jumping to his or her feet. Say a lot about the children of Ares, but we're always ready for training and battle.

"Mark!" I stomped toward my brother, who was clearly fighting the urge to rub his eyes. "I leave you in charge and everything falls apart! We're late!"

"Late?" he squeaked. "No, no way! We haven't been late at all, not once! I mean it!"

"Oh, really? Then you want to tell me what time it is?"

"Look, Clarisse, I'm sorry, but I swear, this is the first time I haven't gotten us out on time. Seriously. And besides, we're only..." He finally looked at the clock, and his face contorted with rage. "We're half an hour early!"

I laughed and punched him in the shoulder. "Duh. I was just messing with you. You did good." I whirled around to face the rest. "But now I'm back, so let's get a move on! C'mon, get dressed, look sharp."

They obeyed without a word, though they didn't try to hide the looks they were sending my way. I pretended I didn't see them.

Just as we were about to leave, Maggie approached me hesitantly, her concentration on the floor. "Commander?"

"Yeah?"

"Are...are you okay?"

"'Course I'm okay."

"But...Chris...he told us..." She looked up at me with glossy eyes. "You..."

I knelt to her height. "I'm just fine, warrior," I lied, tussling her hair. "Don't you worry about me."

She opened her mouth, then closed it, nodding slowly instead.

"Alright. Now, let's get going. Two mile jog."

A collective groan.

"Huh, so Mark let that one slip? Fine. Four miles, alternating jogging and sprinting."

A louder groan, but no one outright protested. Man, it felt good to be back.

Throwing myself into camp life seemed to do me good. The screaming protests of my muscles practically silenced the rampant thoughts overcrowding my brain. And when we headed into the dining hall, fighting to keep our breathing regular, I was too wired on adrenaline to care that the other cabins were looking my way and whispering. I was back, and everything was normal, and that's all that mattered.

"You okay?" Sherman asked me quietly as we made our way to wrestling.

"Of course I am."

"Really."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm guessing I'm not supposed to answer that honestly, am I?"

I scowled and sent him my best glare. "Do I really have to kick your ass my first day back?"

"I'm just worried; we all are. This is...this is big. Especially...especially coming off of your miscarriage."

"Shut up," I spat; Polemos, who refused to leave my side, growled threateningly.

"No, Clarisse. I don't care how badly you hurt me for this, but I'm not just going to pretend that everything is perfect. You didn't eat anything for breakfast."

"So I'm not hungry. So what?"

"You were pale after we ran, and you looked like you were about to pass out; you never get like that. So I can only guess how long you've gone without eating. And don't try to deny it because you barely ate after your miscarriage, so I know you're doing the same thing now."

"I'm a big girl, Sherman. You can't tell me what I can and can't do."

"What about Maggie?"

I almost stopped dead. "What?"

"You saw what she ate this morning, right?"

Strip of bacon. Everything else on her plate had gone in as an offering. "I just thought she wasn't hungry."

"Yeah, well, she's been doing that since your attack."

"She hasn't been eating for five days and you didn't do anything?"

"I tried, Clarisse, I tried so fricking hard, but I can't force-feed her, and I couldn't convince her to tell me why she wouldn't eat. I'm not a miracle worker."

I tried to walk into the arena, but he caught my hand and pulled me to the side. Polemos snarled, but I ordered softly, "Relax, boy," and met my brother's eyes. "Okay. What?"

"You need to talk to her. She'll listen to you; she adores you, Clarisse." He looked down. "But you know she won't eat if you don't."

"I'm not hungry. That kind of happens after a Hellhound tears your uterus to shreds."

"It's not just that and you know it. You're not eating so you have more to offer. And it's not healthy and it's not good for you."

"Well, I really don't have much else of an option," I growled.

He kicked at the ground. "Do...do you really think the gods will reverse this?"

"Dad says he's talking to Hera; motherhood's her thing, after all. So I gotta try to appease her, you know? I can't...I can't just let this go, Sherman."

"I know. I know." He sighed. "Listen. You start eating, and you get Maggie to start eating, I'll offer more, okay? In your name, to Hera. I promise, Clarisse, I'll do anything I can to help you with this. But at least take care of yourself, okay? Mark...yeah, he tries, but he's not you. And we need you."

I ducked my head, muttering, "Gods, you're such a marshmallow."

"Yeah, well, someone has to be." Glancing around, he quickly pulled me into a hug. "Take care of yourself. Please."

"I will." Coughing, I pushed him off of me. "Now c'mon, we're children of Ares. Get it together."

He just smirked and nudged my shoulder. "Welcome back, sis."

Except for my completely unexplainable lightheadedness, it was as though I hadn't been gone at all, up until I got to class, of course. My students were ecstatic, and Percy looked more than relieved to be off the job, skittering out of there after no more than a, "Glad you're okay," directed at me. It took close to five minutes to calm everyone down, which normally would have been unacceptable, but considering the circumstances, I figured I could let it slide. Besides, seeing the looks on their faces when I walked in, feeling them clamoring all over me in excitement...well, how could I be mad at that?

As they were leaving, I called, "What, Maggie, stay here for a sec, okay?"

Her eyes widened slightly, but she nodded and obeyed. When the others had left, I knelt down. "Alright, warrior, we have to talk."

"About what?"

"About what you ate this morning."

"What about it?"

"One strip of bacon?"

"That's more than you had," she shot back before covering her mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Commander, please-"

"It's alright," I protested. "It's alright, Maggie. Just talk to me."

"I just wasn't hungry this morning."

"Sherman says you haven't been eating right all week."

She scowled and muttered, "Tattletale."

"No, he's just looking out for you. That's what family does. So, tell me why you haven't been eating."

Biting her lip, she stared at a hole in her jeans. "'Cause it's my fault you got hurt."

My heart dropped. "That's not true. That's not true at all."

"Mom sent that Hellhound, didn't she?"

"What?"

She snapped her head up, and I saw the tears dribbling onto her cheeks. "Chiron, Chiron said no one summoned it and that there was no breach in the border and Mom, Mom used to threaten me that if, if I was real bad, she's make a Hellhound eat me, so, so did she send it to hurt you 'cause you protected me?"

I should have lied. Gods, I should have lied. But seeing that look in her eyes...I couldn't bring myself to do it. "Yes, Maggie, she did."

She whimpered, and her lower lip trembled. "So it's my fault that you got hurt and that you can't be a mom, so, so that why I've been giving so much to the gods so they'd help you. I had to, I had to, 'cause it's my fault-"

"It is not your fault," I protested fiercely, tugging her into a hug. "This is not your fault at all. Your mother sent the monster, not you."

"But she did it 'cause of me! I should, I should have just gone back with her-"

"Don't you dare say that, Maggie. You know what she would have done to you if you went back."

"So I'd be dead. So what? The cabin needs you more than it needs me!"

She was full-fledged sobbing now, her whole body shaking. Pressing her tighter against me, I whispered, "Don't talk like that. That's not true. You're an amazing warrior, and we need you in this cabin."

"No, you don't! There are plenty of us; there's you. Why would you need me? No one needs me!"

My chest felt real tight, like it was about to burst open. "We do need you, alright? We need everyone we can get. Us against the monsters, remember? And considering what a kick-ass little warrior you are, of course we need you on our side." I rubbed her back and rested my chin on her head; I never realized how small she really was. "And you're a great little sister, too. Don't be selling yourself short, kid. Cabin Five wouldn't be anything without you. You're gonna be the next big hero, I just know it."

Polemos, laying on the sidelines, walked over and nudged her with his nose. Hiccupping, she looked up and started to pet him.

"And look; Dad sent Polemos to rescue you, right? So of course you're going to do great things one day."

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "You think?"

"I think? Please; I'm your commander. I know. So stop beating yourself up over this. This was your mother's doing, not yours. And if it means something, I wouldn't have changed anything."

"Really? You'd...you'd rather have me than be able to have a kid?"

My throat felt tight, and the words seemed to be lodged. Finally, I managed, "Yes."

And you know what? It was the honest-to-gods truth.

That night, I watched Maggie eat an almost-full plate of dinner. For the first time at camp in close to two weeks, I did the same.