A/N: THIS IS THE JOKE ENDING. IF YOU WANT TO REMAIN SPOOKIFIED STOP READING.

Hatchet in hand, Harry dashed back into the school and ran back to the library as quickly as he could, doubling over and clutching the stitch in his chest as he stopped outside the door with the small window.

"I…I'm back," he called through the door, trying to get his breath back. "And I…I think I've got it."

"Really?!" cried Teddy's voice, sounding ecstatic. Harry stood up straight, still breathing heavily, and saw Teddy jumping up and down in excitement, hair his favorite shade of turquoise once more.

"Yeah," said Harry, nearly as excited as he was. He held up the hatchet. "Hang on, little one, I'll get you out in just a second."

"Okay!" Teddy cheered, dashing out of sight; Harry knew he was going for the area behind the bookshelf. Harry looked over at the shelf, then back at the hatchet, then back at the door in front of him.

"Fuck it," he muttered, and took the hatchet to the door, hacking at it until he was able to kick it open.

"YAAAAAY!" Teddy cried out, glomping Harry as the Final Fantasy victory fanfare played in the background.

Without warning, the main door to the library reserve burst open, and Pyramid Head shambled in, dragging the great knife behind him.

"Oh I am having none of this shit!" shouted Harry, spontaneously turning into a stag; he charged forward and impaled Pyramid Head on his antlers, swinging his head around until the manifestation of the guilt felt by James Sunderland and no one else flew out the window.

"PYRAMID HEAD'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAaaaaiiinnn…" bellowed Pyramid Head, because he can talk now, until he was naught but a twinkle in the sky.

"…Well that was random and pointless," commented Teddy, now an adoragable little wolf puppy for no raisin.

Suddenly, a kind of high, repetitive beeping noise could be heard from somewhere above them. Harry and Teddy glanced up at the ceiling, then at each other, and Teddy dashed out of the room, down the hallway, and up the stairs to the roof, Harry galloping at a sedate pace behind him.

The door to the roof had been unlocked somehow and Teddy and Harry ran out, looking up at the sky as the beeping was still coming from overhead. The fog had cleared and a starry sky could be seen, from which a massive flying saucer began to descend. Landing on the roof in front of them, the door opened and a ramp descended, with four figures running down it.

"'Sup, nerds!" said a large, bear-like dog in Sirius's voice, tackling Harry to the ground. Harry laughed and struggled back to his hooves, seeing Teddy scamper around a large gray wolf that was chortling in Remus's voice. He looked beyond the wolf to see another stag accompanied by a doe, slowly walking towards him. The stag got there first.

"Hey, son," said James, butting antlers with Harry's.

"Dad," said Harry warmly. He turned to the doe and nodded. "Mum."

"Ten points from Gryffindor," said Snape's voice emitting from the doe.

"…Wut."

"So…" said Teddy, currently perched on his father's head after a brief silence of everyone staring at Snape, "are we dead or something?"

"Iunno," everyone shrugged.

"…WHO WANTS TO CONQUER THE KNOWN GALAXY!" shouted Sirius.

"I DO, I DO!" cheered everyone except Snape, who merely snarled at all of them, and they all went into the flying saucer and took off to go on wacky space adventures. All was well.