I own nothing from Inuyasha!

Jacqueline was alone once again after both Tsukami and Mako disappeared. She could feel her beast's unease stronger than her own as she could sense the increase of youkai within the palace and felt like hiding. She did not know how to handle this large gathering and hoped she wouldn't embarrass Sesshomaru with her lack of education of youkai customs. She let out a long sigh as she ran a hand through her wet hair, glad that the tea she drank as well as the herbs in the spring were helping her pain.

"Why did all this have to happen…?" she whispered quietly feeling tears well up, missing her family and how happy they were before Ungai had shown up. "I failed you papa… I didn't keep anyone safe like you wanted…"

"Jacqueline."

Startled, she spun around to face the one who said her name and froze seeing Sesshomaru standing at the edge of the spring, wearing midnight blue colors with silver floral on the sleeves instead of his usual white with red floral. He had a frown that seemed to become his normal expression since the spring gathering started being prepared and Jacqueline was starting to miss his emotionless expressions. Feeling the welled up tears spill over, she lowered her head and turned so her back was to him again.

"Is there anything I can do for you Sesshomaru? Surely you have more important matters than spying on an injured youkai bathing?" Jacqueline muttered, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Nothing is more important than the comfort and wellbeing of those under this Sesshomaru's protection," he spoke and she heard him move around the edge of the spring. "Tsukami is taking care of necessary items for this gathering."

"I'm just fine," Jacqueline huffed, glad her hair easily covered her chest.

"Crying and talking to oneself does not show their stable emotional state."

"Being left alone stuck in bed tends to do things," she growled. "Honestly, two weeks with only a servant and physician. No friendly face to talk to or anyone that I wanted to talk to unless I forced my injured body out of bed! So why now? Why days before this stupid gathering do you think that any time is the perfect time to hang about?"

"Because this Sesshomaru did not realize your distress," he spoke quietly and she glanced over at him as he sat cross-legged at the edge of the spring.

"Have your injuries healed?" Jacqueline asked, calming down slightly as she realized he was not leaving her alone any time soon.

"Yes. They healed within the first several days of returning. Inuyoukai are one of the fastest healing youkai. Now explain why you failed your family?"

"I told you already that it was my fault that my mother and brother were killed by Ungai," Jacqueline sighed. "Papa had protected us the night it started. Ungai and his men had surrounded our home and he fended them off so we could escape and made our way to Edo where he said he would come to once he knew we were safe. We waited a month without any word about him or Ungai until Inuyasha and his pack returned carrying my own sword that my father had taken to be able to protect us that first night. They had mentioned that he managed to get it to them before he was killed, but I couldn't believe it. I thought my papa was invincible, that no human could even hope to bring him down so I tracked down Ungai's camp in my anger that they kept saying he was dead. Mama and Kory tried to stop me and I should have listened. It was my fault that they got killed. My own fault that I was captured and watched them all die before watching their bodies' burn in a bonfire that they had created. How can anyone not have failed their family after all that?

"I failed Nonu by not protecting anyone and even forgetting about him, a growing image of both my mother and brother," Jacqueline whimpered, feeling her body start shaking as tears started streaming down her face again.

"Come here," Sesshomaru spoke gently and she listened. As soon as she was within reach, he pulled her to the edge of the spring and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. "This Sesshomaru would have done the same when I was young and both parents were still close. Sometimes the want to save someone while trying to protect everyone else does not work. Trying to protect Rin that day when she was wanting to save you… The innocence of being young makes it hard to see the larger danger."

"I should have not lost my anger…" Jacqueline cried, burying her face into his haori.

"No one can change the past, Jacqueline," he whispered into her hair. "We only can learn from it. Someday, your younger brother will learn that he is not alone and the elder priestess will send him here when he learns the truth. You have to be able to accept the past to be able to move forward."

"I don't think I'd ever be ready for that day," she whimpered.

"Well that sucks." Jacqueline jerked out of Sesshomaru's arms at the new voice and felt her heart want to shatter, seeing Nonu standing in the doorway, his arms crossed. "Jackie."

"Nonu," Jacqueline whispered weakly, lowering her head in shame. "I'm sorry…"

"I don't need to hear any excuses, I've been here long enough," Nonu spoke calmly.

"You bastard," Jacqueline muttered, turning to Sesshomaru. "You knew he was there?! Forcing me to explain everything because you knew he'd hear it. Making me deal with something I can't even handle right now? I can't even accept what I did and the one person I had wanted to protect until I could accept the past and be able to explain it, learns before I can even do anything. Why? I'm already not handling all these youkai being near, even my beast is on edge and I couldn't even tell you why I'm so scared when I feel like there shouldn't even be a reason for that and now I have to deal with all this…?!"

"I don't blame you," his voice was soft but was enough to interrupt her.

"I killed our family and you sit there smiling like it's nothing! How could you not hate me when I would have killed me…?" Jacqueline cried as she looked at him and saw him only smile.

"But I am not you," Nonu spoke quietly. "Elder Priestess Kaede doesn't even know that I came here."

"Then how did you…?" Nonu pulled out a drawing from his haori and turned it around so she could see.

"Elder Priestess Kaede had this hidden away with some clothes. I dreamt about them before even finding this, but knew I had to find you and ask who they were."

"And got the whole story…" Jacqueline interrupted, not able to keep looking at the drawing of their parents and brother. She waded to the steps and got out, pulling on the silk robe waiting and glanced down at the somehow forgiving boy who only went to her waist. "Go back to the Elder Priestess who never forgot you and never harmed your family."

"You are my family," Nonu spoke stubbornly as he wrapped his arms around her leg. "I don't care what you did, I was too young to even remember any of them. I don't blame you for even forgetting about me. Elder Priestess Kaede did explain that you had been a prisoner to evil human monks and tortured daily. Anyone could forget if they could only remember pain…"

"How could you even understand…?" Jacqueline whimpered as she felt her legs give out and she collapsed beside Nonu.

"I have been raised by a priestess who taught me how to accept things that I cannot control as well as to help others who have had too much happen to accept it. Now that I think about it, she may have been teaching me all that because she knew I would learn the truth one day," Nonu spoke beside her.

"Your injuries need to be tended to." Sesshomaru appeared beside them and pulled Jacqueline into his arms. As they entered the sleeping quarters, Tsukami stood as if waiting patiently. "Go with her."

"I want to stay with Jackie," Nonu whined.

"Your sister needs time as well as her wounds taken care of. She does not heal as fast as other youkai due to the evil monk who tortured her. You are welcome to remain within the palace, young one, but for now please come with me," Tsukami smiled. "You can join her for the evening meal if you wish."

"Okay," Nonu smiled before taking Tsukami's outstretched hand and left the room without another word.

Sesshomaru sat Jacqueline on the bed before grabbing the bandages from the table. Refusing to look at him, she slid her arms out of her robe so he could bandage her side because she knew that there was no way to fight him doing that. He remained quiet while he took care of her wound and as soon as he was done, she slid her robe back on and pushed past him to find something to wear.

"Why did you do it?" Jacqueline muttered as she slid on a pair of black leggings before removing her robe so she could put on a blue tunic that was a couple shades lighter than the blue Sesshomaru was wearing.

"This Sesshomaru thought that if you did not know he was there then it would be easier to explain what happened rather than try to face him while he demanded answers and not be able to handle it. He does not hate you. Children are more forgiving than they are given credit for."

"Don't think I'll forgive you so easily," Jacqueline hissed as she headed towards the door.

"You are to be resting," he frowned, appearing in front of her.

"I am sick and tired of just resting. I need air and I need to be able to walk around if I want without you breathing down my neck! My injuries won't heal any faster if I'm just laying around letting my body weaken even more than it has," she huffed, turning her back on him and walked over to the balcony doors and opened them. "I don't do well being locked away like some prisoner Sesshomaru."

"That was never this Sesshomaru's intent," he spoke quietly as he came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against him gently so not to aggravate her side.

"Then let me go and let me do my own thing," Jacqueline muttered, pulling out of his arms. "Just because you want me closer does not give you an excuse to do what you want. I'm still mad at you and I am not going to stay in my room like a child and eat my meals. I'll eat where I like and I am not dealing with Nonu right now. He is your problem until I am ready to even handle this now that he knows."

"The phoenix has forgiven you, why avoid him?" Sesshomaru spoke as he reluctantly took a step back so she had some space.

"Because I haven't forgiven me! I didn't want to deal with more stress because I am still dealing with all this guilt! I look at that boy and all I see is the dying faces of mother and Kory while seeing father staked above a bonfire knowing that them dying was all on me. I don't know how you could understand," Jacqueline laughed weakly. "Besides you personally killing someone, you have never had the blood of a loved one on your own hands. You have the ability to bring people back from the dead if you choose with that sword of your father. You would never have to stand by and see the people closest to you murdered because of your actions and not be able to do a damn thing about it."

"Jacqueline," Sesshomaru tried to move back to her but she only glared at him before jumping over the balcony railing and ran off through the courtyard.