Hi again, and thank you for all the reviews. I'm very happy that so many of you liked it, and that I succeeded in bring the emotions out. Thank you :)
Now, I'm sorry to disappoint you (in a way), but Rachel won't be in this story anymore. At least she won't say anything. I've decided that I didn't want to focus more on her, but I can tell you that she did not get fired, because it was an accident. In case anybody didn't get it, Haley falling wasn't something Rachel wanted and she didn't mean to push her so hard. Nathan has forgiven her, and she has actually been a good friend for him after Angel's death. Haley is a different story, but you'll find some of that in the chapter. I hope it's okay that I decided to leave her out of this.
This is the next to last chapter, sort of sorting everything out for Naley. So this is two months ahead, so that's clear. Thank you for still reading, and enjoy the chapter :) I think you'll like it, at least parts of it..
«So, how have things been between you since our last session?»
Haley starred at the red headed woman in front of them. She couldn't believe she was back here again, although she knew why she was here. It was all for Nathan. Things had been pretty bad for them since they lost their baby girl, two months ago. They didn't share much anymore, and their sexual life was as good as dead. Haley felt so uncomfortable, she couldn't even let him touch her. She knew it drove Nathan crazy how she was all hot and cold, but Haley had no control over herself and her feelings at the moment. She had been pretty shocked when he had suggested couples therapy to get through their problems, but she knew he meant good. He loved her, and she loved him back.
«Pretty much the same» She could hear Nathan mumble. He was sitting at the other end of the couch, and he looked pretty exhausted from dealing with everything. Haley knew it was hard for him when she closed herself of from him, but she couldn't help it. Everything broke when they lost Angel.
«We spent the last session discussing you two as a couple, now lets focus on your problems and see if we can get you to open up a bit. That seems to be the problem, doesn't it? Apart from losing your daughter, what do you think is your biggest issue, Haley?»
Haley met her eyes as the thoughts ran crazy around in her head. What do you answer to such a question? And is there only one? Haley didn't know what to say, but she knew with name came to mind.
«Rachel»
«What about you, Nathan?» Their therapist shifted her gaze towards Nathan who was shaking his head slowly.
«Haley won't open up to me. She won't tell me how she's feeling or what she wants out of her relationship. I can't get through to her. That and Chris Keller»
«So you both feel like other people are coming between you?» She asked them as they both nodded.
«Haley, why is Rachel a problem?» Haley shifted nervously as she sat up and looked angrily over at Nathan.
«Oh, I don't know? Maybe because she's in love with my boyfriend, and even though she killed our baby, she won't leave him alone? She has no respect for others and she only thinks about herself and sex 24/7!»
«Haley, how could you say that? Fine, Rachel has said and done things in the past that didn't help our relationship, but..»
«Didn't help our relationship? It almost ruined us, Nathan! She wouldn't stop kissing you, and she wouldn't stop rubbing it in my face!» Haley interrupted him.
«Alright, fine, but that's in the past. Since your accident, she has been nothing but a good friend. She feels horrible about everything, and she wants to help!» Nathan defended Rachel, which only made Haley angrier.
«What makes you unable to forgive her and see things from Nathan's side, Haley?» The therapist wondered as Haley sighed loudly.
«Let's see..»
FLASHBACK
Haley had been back to work for about two days when she got ready to eat lunch with Gigi. She had stopped eating with Nathan, since their relationship was pretty much on the rocks at the moment. They both sat down by a table and started eating. Haley looked around and noticed Rachel sitting by herself. They hadn't spoken since her accident, but that didn't mean that Rachel hadn't tried to apologize. It was just too hard for Haley to go back and forgive everything Rachel had done to her in the past. She knew Rachel never meant for her child to die, but it still hurt pretty bad.
«Where is your head at, Hales?» Gigi wondered as Haley continued to stare at the red head, especially since her boyfriend now had sat down beside her and joined her in eating. Haley could see that he hadn't noticed her there yet, if he had he probably would have come over to sit with her. But she still couldn't find herself to figure out how he could sit down beside Rachel after everything she had done.
«They sit together every day. I think they have become friends or something» Gigi explained as she followed Haley's focus. Haley looked at her strangely before returning her eyes towards her boyfriend. She missed him, she couldn't deny that! Haley loved Nathan with all her heart, but everything was just so messed up at the moment.
«Do they seem like friends to you?» Haley asked hurtfully while watching Rachel rub Nahan's arm and stroke his cheek. As lunch continued, Haley had watch them laugh and smile at each other several times. The hurt was clearly written on her face as she finished up and took the rest of the day off.
END OF FLASHBACK
«I already told that she's only helping me through this. She know that I love you, Haley, and only you! I've made it clear that she has no shot with me, because my heart belongs to you» Nathan sighed as his sad eyes met hers.
«I though it belonged to Brooke» Haley mumbled as the therapist watched the couple argue with interested eyes.
«Why would you say that, Haley?» She wondered.
«Because when ever he doesn't get exactly what he wants, he runs to her so he can cry» Haley gritted with jealousy in her voice. She couldn't hide that she was jealous of Brooke in so many ways. Why couldn't he just talk to her about his feelings?
«Well, at least she listens to me» Nathan replied in the same rude tone.
«So you don't feel like Haley listens to you?» Dr. Cullingham asked him.
«I feel like she doesn't even want to hear my voice at times. She shuts me out and we don't even communicate properly» Nathan explained as Haley rolled her eyes.
«How can you say that? I've been here for you like no one else this past year!»
«Yeah, you have. But you won't let me be there for you and when that fails, everything does» Nathan explained as Haley closed her eyes, unable to look at him anymore. She knew this was mostly her fault, and quite frankly she didn't know why she had such a hard time with talking about her feelings around Nathan. Maybe this therapy thing wasn't so bad after all.
«Why is it hard for you to talk, Haley?»
«I don't know. I just feel like I'm not myself anymore. I lost a piece of me when I lost Angel» Haley said sincerely.
«I lost a piece of me too, Hales» Nathan cut in.
«I know that, but it's not the same» Haley sighed loudly.
«Well, what do you feel? Are you sad, happy, broken? Anything?» Dr. Cullingham pushed on.
«I'm lost. I don't know what to do, or say, or feel. I'm just here, and I do what I do every day, but I don't have energy to do anything different. I've given all that there is to give, and I'm empty» Haley felt a tear push as she spoke about her feelings.
«What do you think you need to find yourself again? Love?»
«I don't know. Maybe» Haley shrugged, not sure what to answer.
«I love you, Haley» Nathan sighed as he reached for her hand. He took it in his own and intertwined their fingers, hoping it would show her how much she meant to him.
«How is your relationship physically these days?» The therapist asked them as they both looked down in shame.
«Horrible..» Nathan finally came up with as Haley looked away.
FLASHBACK
Haley was lying on their bed, looking into space. She wasn't thinking about anything special, but at the same time she was too occupied to sleep. Nathan hadn't come to bed yet, but he always stayed up late so she would be asleep when he went to bed. Haley knew he was just keeping his distance to respect her, but at the same time she didn't know when she would be ready to be close to him again.
«Are you asleep?» His low voice called out from the dark, but Haley didn't turn around to speak.
«Yes» She simply replied without much emotion in her voice.
«Are you tired?» Nathan asked again.
«Yeah, but I can't sleep»
«Why not?» He pushed as she took a deep breath.
«I don't know» Haley whispered as she felt the bed move beside her, meaning Nathan had gotten under the covers. She could feel his tense body, doubting how he should position himself, but she didn't say anything.
«Would you please look at me, Haley?» He pleaded, but she kept still and refused to turn around.
«Good night, Nathan» Haley's cold voice replied as she closed her eyes and prayed that sleep would come soon.
«I love you» Nathan whispered back as he tried to wrap his strong arm over her stomach, but as soon as it landed there, Haley's hand grabbed his and pulled it away. She held it in a firm grip, far away from her belly while breathing deeply.
«Please» Haley begged him as she felt the tears return. She was tired of crying, but somehow they wouldn't end. She had been crying non stop for the past month, since she lost her baby. «Don't touch me»
«Hales..»
«..No, just.. Good night, Nathan» Haley finished their conversation and turned completely away from him so he couldn't have her near him. She just couldn't be close to him at the moment. It was too soon..
END OF FLASHBACK
«Why are you so afraid of contact, Haley?» The therapist continued with her questions.
«I don't know. I guess I just feel dirty. I feel like I should be sitting here with a big belly and a healthy girl kicking inside, and I'm not. I just can't be close that way right now..» Haley trailed of, not able to say anything else.
«Is it necessary for you to be active with a partner, Nathan?»
«No, I wouldn't say that. It's been this way for two months but I'm still here, trying to make it work. I'm not backing out or running scared. I'm fighting for our love» He explained as Dr. Cullingham watched them carefully. She could see the obvious distance between them, but their hands were still intertwined so she knew they didn't completely detest each other.
«Do you blame Nathan for the loss of you baby, Haley?» She wondered.
«Of course not» Haley breathed out while giving her a weird look. «Why would I think that?»
«Well, something is keeping you apart emotionally. So either you're blaming him, or you're blaming yourself» She reasoned.
«Maybe I do..» Haley sighed.
«Why would you do that? It was an accident..» Nathan cut in as he tightened his grip on Haley's hand.
«You weren't there, Nathan» Haley whispered as she looked at him with sorrow in her eyes.
«Maybe that's your problem. You feel like it's your fault that your baby is gone, so you can't be close to Nathan anymore. Emotionally and physically. Am I right?»
«That is probably part of the problem» Haley nodded as she ran her free hand through her hair.
«Do you feel like Nathan blames you?» The doctor asked her again.
«He doesn't say it, but I guess I feel like he thinks it» Haley shrugged, trying to avoid the broken look Nathan was giving her.
«Do you, Nathan?»
«Of course not. It was an accident. What happened, happened and there is nothing we can do about it now» He replied, but he was starring at Haley throughout it all.
«But are you sure she knows that?»
«What do you mean?» Nathan frowned.
«Are you sure that she know you don't blame her? And that she is sure that there is nothing you regret about this? That all your feelings are open. Have you told her that lately?» The red head lifted her eyebrows as she watched Nathan's face twist. He looked down for a couple of second before turning his body towards Haley and looking her straight in the eyes.
«I love you, and I don't blame you for any of this. I just don't want this to ruin us. I don't talk about her because it makes you sad, just like you didn't talk much about Brooke because you knew it made me sad. I'm trying my best to be the best man possibly for you, but I can't do that if you won't let me»
«You already are» Haley smiled weakly at him before looking down at their hands again.
«You mentioned another thing, Nathan. Who is Chris Keller?»
«He's Haley's best friend» Nathan pointed out with sarcasm in his voice.
«Why would you say that?»
«Because..»
FLASHBACK
«Hales, are you eating lunch with me today?» Nathan asked her as he parked the car in the hospital garage.
«I could, but I already promised Chris to sit with him. Besides, you have Rachel» Haley replied weakly before opening the door and jumping out.
«Oh, and I won't be riding home with you either. Chris is going to drive me home later, I'll be working late» Haley finished as she walked away from him without much consideration. Nathan followed her, hurt and jealous.
Fourteen hours later...
Nathan was sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of his finest scotch. It was almost ten p.m. and Haley was no where to be seen. He had been of work at four and picked up his kids before going home. He had made them dinner and prepared a plate for Haley which was now cold because she was so late. After dinner he had watched a movie with Jamie before he put both him and Julie to bed. For the past hour, Nathan had just sat on the couch drinking and waiting. He finished his drink as he heard the sound of a car park outside and he stood up to see if it was her.
Outside he saw Haley and Chris get out of the car. They were hugging and he could see her giving him a soft kiss on the cheek before walking towards the house. Jealousy blew up inside Nathan and he could feel himself losing his temper just by looking at the son of a bitch in his fancy car. Of course he waited until he could see Haley inside before driving of, stupid gentleman. As he heard the door slam, Nathan made no move.
«Hey.. I didn't know if you were still up» Haley sighed as she saw him standing there with a hard expression on his face.
«Where were you?» She could almost hear the anger in his voice, but Haley wasn't scared.
«I was working late with Chris. He was showing me some of his tricks. I've thought about what I'm going to specialize in and I think I'll go with plastic surgery» Haley explained as Nathan shook his head slowly.
«Are you kidding me?» Nathan bit out angrily as she wrapped her hands around herself.
«No, I'm not. Chris is really talented, Nathan, and he can help me!» She spoke calmly, but he refused to let himself be affected by it.
«You know how I feel about him, Haley..»
«..Yeah, and you know how I feel about Rachel, but you two are still friends!» Haley argued.
«Maybe we are, but I don't stay out until after dark with her!» Nathan yelled as he watched Haley wince. «I want you to stop working with him»
«I won't do that» Haley replied slowly, but full of confidence.
«I said, I want you to stop seeing him!» Nathan said again, this time with more power.
«And I said that I wouldn't do that because he can teach me tricks to be better. And I'm not going to let my career be affected by my jealous boyfriend!» Haley screamed back.
«Damn it, Haley!» Nathan shouted as he threw his glass into a wall and heard it break in a thousand pieces. Haley almost jumped back and shot him a scared look before running up the stairs and hiding in the guest bedroom.
END OF FLASHBACK
«Do you trust this man, Haley?» The therapist asked her, referring to Chris.
«Yes, I do» Haley replied without looking at Nathan.
«Do you trust him, Nathan?»
«Does it sound like I do?» Nathan frowned.
«No, not really. Why don't you trust him? Has he done anything to not deserve your trust?» She asked him.
«No, but he hasn't done anything to deserve it either!» Nathan argued.
«And have you given him a chance to?» The doctor kept on questioning him.
«With all respect, Dr. Cullingham, I don't go around and give people chances to earn my trust. That plus the fact that I hate the guy. He thinks he's God's gift to women by giving them fake boobs!» Nathan made a disgusted face. Talking about Chris Keller certainly didn't help his mood.
«But if this Dr. Keller can help your girlfriend become a better surgeon, isn't that a good thing?»
«Not when he brings her home after bed time» Nathan reasoned as Haley laughed for herself.
«Have you ever kissed Dr. Keller, Haley?»
«No, unlike others I respect the importance of a commitment to somebody» Haley replied calmly while giving Nathan a cold look.
«What is it going to take for you to accept that Chris plays a part in Haley's life, Nathan?»
«I can accept it, I just don't like it. I don't trust him, but I trust her» Nathan sighed as Haley smiled slightly again. She liked hearing that he at least didn't think she had feelings for Chris.
«You know, I look at the two of you and it makes me a bit.. I don't know which word to use..» Dr. Cullingham laughed as they both frowned towards her.
«What do you mean?» Haley asked.
«You have so much potential, and you're not even aware of it! You two will be fine, I really believe that! I think you, Haley, need to focus on what's important and that is your relationship. Burying yourself with work until late hours is no way to save a relationship! And you, Nathan, just have to continue to be patient and understanding because a woman is so unstable after something like this! If you both work on it and try your best, nothing can stop you!» She finished with a smile as Nathan and Haley shared a look of love and pride. They knew they loved each other, but it felt good to hear that others could see their love as well!
«Next session we'll focus on what makes you work, on the positive things! The things that made you a couple in the first place. Let's end this session like we always do by saying something nice about the other one. You can start, Haley!»
Haley bit her lip while thinking nervously through what she should say. Finally she looked at Nathan and smiled before saying:
«I love that Nathan is so dedicated to us, and to making us work. I love that he believes in me and tries his best so that I always have everything I want. I love that I can trust him and tell him everything. And I love the fact that he opens his heart for me»
«Nathan» The therapist said as Nathan took a deep breath.
«I love that she's honest with me, she never lies to me. And I love that she is so kind and warm, and I especially love how great she is with my kids. She's a wonderful mother! And I think she's really sexy and the prettiest girl on this planet. And I'm lucky to have her» Nathan finished while Haley blushed deeply.
«Go and be happy. Open up and talk to each other. I believe in you!» Dr. Cullingham said before they exchanged their goodbyes and walked out. Nathan kept his hand intertwined with Haley's as they walked towards the car. Suddenly Haley stopped and looked at him.
«What's wrong?» Nathan asked her.
«Thank you for convincing me to do this. I think I love more than before» Haley smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and brought her close to his body. They looked deeply into each others eyes before Nathan brought his head down so he could kiss her for the first time in two months...
Finally things were going good for them, and maybe this time he was right..
So that was that, and please review!
Next chapter is the epilogue, so this story has come to an end.
Once again, 15 reviews equals new chapter :)