Chapter 21 - Repression, Obsession, & Transgression
PART ONE
"The repressed memory is like a noisy intruder being thrown out of the concert hall. You can throw him out, but he will bang on the door and continue to disturb the concert. The analyst opens the door and says, If you promise to behave yourself, you can come back in." -Theodor Reik
...
"Female, age 45, possible concussion, boyfriend brought her in complaining that she fainted and would wake up." A bouncy nurse says as she hands an older and handsome black doctor a patient folder. The doctor thanks the nurse before she heads in the chaotic E.R, summoning the next patient.
Meanwhile, outside of the ER, the doctor passes by his girlfriend. His girlfriend is also a doctor. A doctor who is very much a member of the SVU family.
"Wait a minute? Is that Brian?" Melinda Warner says as she sparkles in a beautiful red dress with glimmering diamonds. It was a busy night at Mercy. When Dr. Warner came in to pick up her boyfriend, a surgeon, he asked her to lend a hand. Always up for duty, Melinda cancelled their romantic dinner plans and stayed to help her boyfriend handle several sick patients in the E.R.
"Brian?" Melinda asks as she makes her way to the hallway that links the E.R to hospital triage rooms where Brian Cassidy nervously stands, biting his nails.
Brian looks up at Melinda with red and puffy eyes. "Hey. What you working here now?" He says as he blinks away the tears. His eyes sting.
"No. I'm helping out a friend. What's going on?"
"It's Liv. Something's wrong."
Melinda stares into Brian's eyes. Her heart drops. She is reminded of all the hurt her colleague and friend has been through. She tries to read Brian. He's stressed. He's worried. He's terrified.
Meanwhile, Liv is being strolled down the hallway on a stretcher. Her eyes roam everywhere. She's not conscious but she's not totally out of it. One thing is sure, Benson has no idea what's happening. Or what happened. Since she fainted, Liv has been stucked in a parallel universe. That one delayed memory where she is bashing Lewis with that iron bed frame is continually flashing inside of her mind. However, it isn't her that's bashing Lewis in... It's Elliot.
Aside from her own screams, Liv is plagued by voices. The scent of the beach house hits her nostrils. She tries to block it all out, and she does. For about one minute, the smell of the beach house is gone. The voices are gone. Her heart rate slows down. Only a minute. Only a minute, then, that hoarse and battered voice that echoes inside of her mind creeps back in... Her voice. The voice she remembers only using because all of her strength was gone. She hears his voice creeping in as well. She's back at the beach house. This time, she's remembering the things she tried to block out. The repress memories of... Her rape?
...
"I told you, I would be right back," Lewis says before ripping the tape off of her mouth. She feels his exciting eyes lusting at her battered body. Lewis is indeed excited... Excited that he's got her handcuff to the bed in the middle of nowhere. Excited that he can do anything he wants to do to her without any real struggle.
"Oh yea. An old iron frame bed this. This is perfect." Lewis smiles as he imagines the sick things he's about to put Benson through. "You want me to cut your clothes off or burn them off?" Lewis's question, so heinous and demonic, doesn't phase him and comes out gruelingly simple.
Liv, on the other hand, is horrified. It has finally come. The other times when he attempted to force himself on her, there was always a chance of something delaying or prohibiting the attack. This time, she's tied to the bed, in the middle of nowhere. No one to hear her scream. Lewis has already proved that he was no longer afraid to perform sexual penetrating acts on the tough detective. He's been looking forward to this since the mistrial. The torturing, the sexual playing, the drugging? That was fun for Lewis but what he's planning now is the high he kills, lies, and cheats for... His one purpose of living. To dominate. To debase. To take.
Benson knows that Lewis will rip her apart. She tries to hide the fear of knowing that on her face but she can't. She just can't. As he runs off to search for scissors, Liv tries desperately to break free from the chains. He's going to rape her. Sodomize her. Over and over again.
It isn't just the humiliation that scares Liv. He's already humiliated her. He's seen her naked. He bit her most private area. He's attempted rape, oral rape, and sodomy numerous amounts of time. He's stuck his tongue down her throat more times than she can count. He's forced her to watch him rape another woman and, to top it off, he forced feed her his own sperm. Let's not forget the way he urinated on her face just hours ago, in this same beach house. So no... No she isn't worry that much, if all, about the humiliation of her pending rape. She isn't even worried about the aftermath.
Everything he's done to her, thus far, the certainty of 'never being the same' is inevitable. So, the aftermath, isn't what horrifies her either. What horrifies Benson to her core, is the present. She knows that he will try everything to physically break her. To use every inch of himself as a knife to continually stab Benson. It was like a full package. To cause her pain, Lewis beat and burned Liv. To cause her humiliation, he constantly molested Liv. Now, with clear intentions of raping her, he gets to cause her pain and humiliation all at once.
The stare on her face sparks Lewis. Her expression is unreadable. Lewis, however, feels that the look is a look of doom. He crawls into the bed, taunting her... "You thinking about someone you'll never see again... Someone you'll do anything to see one last time. You're gonna call his name out? At some point... They always do." Liv has to think quickly. What to do? What to do? How to prolong his taunting and how to delay his penis jamming into every shallow part of her body? She has to use a tactic. She has to finally put her skills at use, and successfully.
...
To Be Continued...