As we got in the car Jane was finding her bearings a bit better. "Where's Maura and Alexis?" She asked worriedly. "They're fine, they're at my granny's cabin" I replied, putting my arm around her. "We're going there now" I added. "C-can we go home first? I don't want Maura to see me.. like.. like this" she sobbed. Liam began to speak to say no but I cut him off.
"Yeah we can, maybe Edwardo will bring Maura and Alexis home." I said giving Liam a stern look in the rear view mirror. He knew that I wasn't to be messed with. "No I think it's better if ye stay there a few days but we can go to your house first." He replied, changing direction. She hugged into my side like a scared child, it was heartbreaking to watch her. She dozed off while Liam drove us home but jolted awake in fear when he braked outside the house.
I brought her inside, the house was a mess from earlier but Liam's men had removed the bodies at least. Jane went upstairs to shower while I looked for the first aid kit. A good forty minutes had passed and she hadn't come out of the shower. Which was unusual for her, fifteen minutes was max for her showers. I went upstairs and knocked on the door, placing my ear against the door.
I could hear the shower running still "Jane? You alright?" I asked knocking again. This time I could hear her sobbing. "I'm coming in okay?" I then said waiting a moment before opening the door.
There she was just sitting on the floor in the shower with her clothes on. The water just running down on top of her, still crying and a pool of blood from her wrists in front of her. I turned off the shower and lifted her up, quickly towel drying her hair and tying it up. We moved in silence for a while as I brought her out into her room and gave her clothes to change into while I got the first aid kit.
"You okay here? Just while I go get something to clean these" I said motioning towards her wrists. At first she flinched and looked away. After a few seconds she looked back at me and put her arms round me for a hug. "T-thank.. you" she whispered in my ear. "You get changed" I smiled, kissing her on the cheek.
I went downstairs, "Jane will be fine" I murmured to myself repeatedly. I took what I needed from the kitchen and went back up to Jane, who was on a go slow and was sitting on the bed still in the wet clothes. Away in a world of her own she never noticed me come in. "Jane?" I said softly. She gazed at me blankly.
"Let's get you out of these wet clothes before you catch your death" I said helping her stand up. After she was changed I started looking at her wrists trying to determine how deep they were and if she would need stitches. But luckily they weren't too deep.
I cleaned each wrist carefully and wrapped bandages around them. "All done" I said bringing her back from her zone. She smiled thankfully. "W-we don't have to em tell Maura.. about.. all this, do we?" She asked anxiously. "You can talk about it with her when you are ready to, how's that sound?" I replied. "Thank you" she said hugging me.
"Jane?" I said pulling back from our hug to look at her, "you don't always have to be the strong one. I know you think it's your responsibility to always be ok and protect everyone. You feel like you have to stay ok for everyone else. You don't want anyone to worry. You don't want anyone to pity you. But we don't, we just care about you so much".
She looked away, tears forming in her eyes again as I continued. "So, you bottle your worries away. You close that bottle up and toss it in the ocean. But the problem with that is, the bottle is always going to come back to you. These worries, this sadness, your feelings, will always come back. It all will come floating back." She took my hand in hers and looked at me "I have to be okay all the time" she responded.
"You're just a person. You're only human. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to not have everything together all the time. You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to feel down. It's not a crime, we're not going to think of you differently. You will always be the rock of the family, but the smooth rock who talks about how she's feeling... I love you Jane your like my mother, sister, best friend and cousin all mixed into one person, my sister "in-law" -that's funny cause your a cop- and I don't want anything to ever happen you, neither does Maura or Alexis they both love you so much. You are Maura's world so don't think you have to be strong for her because she loves you for you not because you protect her."
Eyes filled with tears she burrowed into me for a hug, I too was crying at this point. She put her head back on the pillow and I cuddled up beside her, both of us still crying. We lay in silence until Liam knocked on the door. I sat up to look at him. "Ye were in here a long time I just came to make sure everything was okay" he spoke concerned.
"Course everything would be okay, I've Jane here" I said tears still in my eyes. "And I've Rebecca" Jane said sitting up with her arm around me. "Montgomery I don't know what my daughters see in you but for some reason you are very special to both of them" he began, "because it's Jane" I answered. "Yes I know! Your sister gave the same line twenty years ago.. Is it code for something? Because I sure as hell don't get it.
But anyhow Jane, I owe you an apology for everything since the start.. I'm truly sorry I see now more than ever that you really do love my daughter and-" "both of them" she butted in, hugging me tightly. "Yes.. and I know that two people can not be wrong about you so I hope that we can work things out between us and that you forgive me for all the hurt and pain I've caused you especially today I'm sorry I left you behind."
Before Jane answered I answered "you think that is enough to regain a relationship that you've been ruining from the start? Of course it is Jane's decision I know but you left her to die today... and because of it you and I will never be on good terms." He seemed hurt by my words. I didn't care, "now Becca at least he's trying" Jane said positively but somewhat unsure. I wasn't able to say next what I really wanted to say because I knew I was going to cry.
"We need to go back to Maura and Alexis" I said getting up quickly and walked out to the landing wiping my eyes before anyone noticed. "Rebecca?" Jane half chuckled. "Yeah?" I responded exhaustedly, brushing past Liam on his way out. "I hate to be a pain, but I need a fresh bandage" she said. "Sure" I responded immediately, turning to Liam "go wait in the car we'll be down shortly."
He turned and left with out another word. I was heading into the bathroom when Jane called me again "Becca?" she said sweetly. "Mmhumm" I said looking at her. "I don't need another bandage, come here a minute" she patted the bed beside her. I went and sat beside her. "Everything okay?" She then asked, I nodded. "What was that with Liam then?" She asked innocently "why'd you walk out?". I knew I wasn't getting out of this one easily. "Becca it's me, you can tell me.. why were you so harsh on him?" She said taking my hand.
"Because Jane he left you for dead today... like how could he do that to you or Maura and Alexis! Does he not understand how much you mean to all of us and then he had that sappy apology, if we'd lost you..." I balled out. "Hey hey hey" Jane said hugging me "I'm not dead I'm right here, thanks to you" she smiled wiping the tears off my cheek. ''and I'll always be here, like the saying goes its hard to kill a bad thing'' she chuckled. ''I'm a cop Becca, I signed up for this sort of thing don't worry i'm not going anywhere any time soon and certainly not with you around to keep me safe'' she said hugging me and kissing me on the forehead. ''Lets get back to Maura, I'm sure she's gone despair with worry about you'' I replied hugging her back.