Twenty One
When it had come to picking 'Dathien' as his alias, Fiyero hadn't given it much thought. It was his childhood imaginary friend, and that was good enough.
But then one day, as they were all studying together in the library (except Boq- who was still in Elphaba's bad books after what had happened with him and Nessa, and Nessa wasn't ready to spend time with him yet anyway); Galinda, who was bored, decided to change the subject.
"What do you think 'Dathien' means?"
Elphaba looked up from her books, confused. "What?"
"Dathien. Do you think it means anything?" Galinda asked again.
Fiyero gritted his teeth. Galinda kept finding ways to bring his alter ego up in conversations, why he wasn't sure. To try and tempt him to reveal himself?
Nessa laughed. "I think it's just a name, Galinda. The name Elphaba uses doesn't mean anything, right, Fabala?"
"Right," Elphaba agreed. "It's just a play on a syllable in my name."
"Do you think Dathien could be the same? That he only changed his name slightly to hide his identity?" Galinda continued to pry.
Fiyero sighed. He didn't want to be drawn into this conversation, but he clearly didn't have a choice.
"So, what's his real name then, Galinda?" he asked.
Galinda was tempted for a moment to respond with 'Fiyero' but then she decided that revelation wouldn't be very romantic, so she changed her mind.
"I don't know. Dath...ion? Dathion? Dathian?"
"Dothien? Duthion? Galinda, substituting vows could take a very long time; and is hardly a good strategy," Elphaba rolled her eyes.
"What about a middle name?" Nessarose suggested. "Maybe it's his middle name?"
"Or a relative's name?" Elphaba added.
"Maybe it's an anagram?" Fiyero chimed in, deciding to play along.
Elphaba laughed. "What can you make from Dathien?"
Galinda flipped to a blank page in her notebook and wrote it out. Then they all put their heads together and started listing things.
"Ethiand?" Fiyero began.
"That's not a name!" Elphaba shot down.
"It is in the Vinkus," he shot back, which was sort of true. It was actually Ethian.
"Neihtad? Dathien backwards?" Galinda suggested.
"Also not a name."
"Well, why don't you suggest a name, Miss Brainiac?" Fiyero challenged her.
Elphaba rolled her eyes, but obediently studied the letters for a moment.
"Thedian," she announced.
Fiyero stared at the paper in amazement, for Thedian was a popular Ozian name, and was actually the name of Fiyero's great-uncle.
And then the ideas started getting sillier, less related to anything that could vaguely resemble a name and more so anything that formed a word.
"Head Tin!" Fiyero suggested.
Galinda giggled. "And what does that suggest?"
"That his head's made of tin?" Fiyero replied as though it were obvious.
"What about the rest of him?" Elphaba asked, her eyes dancing with laughter.
Fiyero winked. "That's what he wants you to find out for yourself."
She blushed and laughed, a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles as the librarian looked over at them disapprovingly.
Galinda's side ached from laughing so much. "What about 'Hated In'?"
"Hated in… all provinces of Oz?" Fiyero suggested.
"Hated… in several languages?" Nessa countered.
"Hated in reference to his habit of nail biting," Galinda sniggered.
Fiyero raised an eyebrow at her. "Nail biting, Glin?"
She shrugged innocently. "Or something else."
"Hand tie?" Elphaba spoke up.
"Hand tie?" Fiyero repeated. "His hand wears a tie?"
"His hand is tied!" Galinda giggled.
Nessa frowned at the paper. "You can make 'than die' out of it too…."
Fiyero laughed. "He would rather eat a live snake than die."
"I think if you ate a live snake you would die," Elphaba said dryly.
"And wouldn't you rather do anything than die?" Galinda pointed out.
This went on for a while, until the anagrams no longer made any real sense, and they were in danger of being asked to leave the library- which was a new experience for Elphaba.
Finally, they decided to leave (before they were kicked out, as Elphaba beseeched them) and they headed to the Wilted Rose.
Fiyero was carrying some of Elphaba's many books, and when they sat down, he glanced at the titles.
One of them was First Impressions.
"You've already read this," he said in surprise, holding it up.
Elphaba looked at it, and her gaze flickered to him, recalling the night in this very café that he had seen her reading it.
"Yes. And now I'm re-reading it," she replied.
"Re-reading it? What's the point of that?" he asked.
She stared at him. "Seriously? You haven't liked a book so much you re-read it?"
Fiyero snorted. "Elphaba, this is me we're talking about. I'm lucky if I read a book, period."
Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "You told me you'd read this."
"I have," Fiyero admitted. "But once. I wouldn't read it again. What's the point? You know what happens!"
That was true, but Elphaba was still amazed by the concept of not reading books more than once.
"I could never be with someone who doesn't re-read books," Elphaba shook her head faintly.
Fiyero stiffened for a moment.
"Well, that confirms it. We could never be together," he said finally, making an effort to keep his voice casual and light.
Galinda shot him an odd glance, but Elphaba's expression was one of confusion and wariness.
"Oh. I guess not."
Galinda hastily jumped in before it turned awkward. "I could never be with someone shorter than me," she admitted. "I just can't."
Fiyero laughed, that didn't surprise him, but he was grateful for her input. It kept the mood light.
"I could never be with someone who isn't willing to let me lead," Nessarose spoke up, and they all looked at her.
"I'm going to be Governor one day," she reminded them. "I can't be with someone who isn't comfortable with my being in charge."
"I'm guessing you don't have the height issue Galinda does either," Fiyero added. "Which is probably a good thing considering you're from Munchkinland."
Elphaba elbowed Fiyero hard in the side, as Nessa smiled uncomfortably wondering if Fiyero was being serious or not.
"I could never be with someone who takes less than ten minutes to get ready," Galinda said flatly.
"Uh, Glin, you just ruled out pretty much all guys," Fiyero pointed out.
She sighed. "I just don't understand how you can reach your best appearance in ten minutes!"
"I have a feeling that's being directed at me too," Elphaba teased her friend.
Galinda giggled. "So we could never be together then."
Fiyero's face fell. "Way to kill that dream, Galinda."
They all laughed, except Nessa, who blushed and shifted in her wheelchair in discomfort.
"I could never be with anyone who took their appearances more seriously than their studies," Elphaba admitted.
"Really?" Fiyero raised an eyebrow at her.
She shrugged. "Looks fade eventually. An education lasts forever."
Their conversation was interrupted as the waiter came over to take their order. Fiyero wrinkled his nose as Elphaba ordered an iced tea.
"How can you drink that stuff?"
She laughed. "Because it's delicious. You don't like it?"
"No! You drink tea hot, not cold. Why would you ice it? It's like melting ice cream. Pointless."
Elphaba rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you don't like iced tea."
"I suppose you could never be with someone who doesn't like iced tea," he teased.
"Maybe," she teased back.
He laughed.
"What about you, Fiyero?" Galinda asked. "What are your deal breakers?"
Elphaba grimaced, which Fiyero caught.
"What?" he asked her.
She shook her head. "All the things I could say right now to that if we weren't friends."
"Like that'll stop you," he retorted and she laughed.
"I'll reserve judgement until you answer. You might surprise me."
Fiyero chuckled, but answered nonetheless. "I…" he took a moment to think about what to say. He couldn't resist playing with Elphaba a little bit.
"I could never be with someone… who likes poetry."
Elphaba's eyebrow rose. "Excuse me?"
"I don't get it," he admitted. "Why don't they just come out and say what they have to say? What's the need for all the metaphors and symbolism? And don't even get me started on the rhyming."
"Not all poems rhyme," Elphaba pointed out.
"And they're the worst ones! How are they even poems? I thought the whole point of a poem was that they do rhyme? People like… that dead chick…"
"Well that narrows it down," Elphaba said sarcastically.
"What's-her-name… Emely Dickinson. I do not like her."
As Emely Dickinson was one of Elphaba's favourite poets, Elphaba was almost speechless.
"Why? What's wrong with Emely Dickinson?" she demanded.
"She writes about death all the time, it's so depressing! And what does she even mean? 'Because I could not stop for Death-/ He kindly stopped for me-/ the carriage held but just ourselves-/ and immortality.' Seriously, what is she on about?"
Elphaba was staring at him wide-eyed. "You're kidding me, right? Yet you know it well enough to quote it."
Fiyero waved a dismissive hand. "I had to study it once. At some school or something."
Elphaba was still in shock, and Fiyero grinned to himself as their orders came. He hoped Elphaba wasn't too firm on her deal-breakers. He was more than willing to make an exception for his own.