Forbidden Feelings

Chapter 21

Here's another chapter! Again thank you to those who reviewed, favourited and followed this, I know I keep saying it but it means a lot!

Draco

It was unbelievable. Unbelievable how the quiet surroundings of the Forbidden Forest had such a peaceful effect on Draco's mind. He always sat in the same secluded area, a low mist surrounding him. As he heard the leaves on the trees rustling, disturbed by the low breeze, he glanced up at them. They seemed never ending, and although Draco had never admitted this to anyone, he found them slightly captivating...

As a loud hoot from an owl interrupted Draco's thoughts, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. As he glanced at his watch, he was slightly baffled at the time, not realising he'd been out there for so long. Standing up and stretching his slightly numb legs, he made his way slowly back to the castle. The truth was, if he wasn't in lessons or in the Great Hall with the Slytherins, the Forbidden Forest was where Draco spent the majority of his time. He couldn't stand the emptiness of the common room, and ever since she'd gone, he couldn't even bare the sight of it. Hermione...

It had been a week. A week since Draco had received the letter from Professor McGonagall, informing him of Hermione's break. He'd felt sick. He knew the reason behind her absence, and he knew it was because of him. Since their break up, Draco had tried so hard to try and get over her, knowing that it was for the best. He truly believed that she loved Weasley, and he couldn't allow himself to be hurt. All his life he had been let down by the people he loved most. Both his mother and father had hurt him. His father for brainwashing him and for constantly making him feel like he wasn't good enough, and his mother for allowing his father to behave this way, for knowing how much it hurt Draco but not speaking up. He felt as though if he allowed anyone in and handed them his trust, they eventually would hurt him, and he'd felt this way about Hermione. He couldn't stay with her, not whilst knowing the whole time she was in love with the Weasel.

However..after witnessing her breakdown in Potions, and the way she'd cried his name in the common room, a small part of him had started to wonder if maybe he was wrong, and she had been telling the truth the whole time. And the fact she had now left was killing him. He needed to know the truth. As Draco entered the common room, he automatically glanced at the sofa in front of the fire. This was something he did every time he'd return home, with the desperate hope that he would find Hermione sat in her favourite seat in front of the fire, Crookshanks curled up on her lap. But the seat was empty, and he shook his head to himself, knowing he was being foolish.

He missed her so much...Draco gazed at the flight of stairs that lead to her room. The aching in his heart was unbearable, and he knew that no matter how many times he told himself he could get over her, it would not happen. He'd tried to see other girls, just like before, before he fell for her. But he couldn't do it. He'd end up growing irritated by their company, or he would find himself comparing them to her, all the while knowing that no one could compare. Pansy Parkinson would still harass him, but Draco now had the upper hand; threatening to inform Professor McGonagall of her part in the attack on Hermione if she didn't leave him alone. He himself still did not know what to do about Pansy. He knew he should hand her in, and he desperately wanted to. He loathed her with a passion for what she'd done to Hermione. But he also knew that if he was to hand her in, he would be landing himself in trouble with the fellow Slytherins.

As Draco walked up to his own room, he spied his father's owl perched on one of the window ledges. With his heart filled with dread, he made his way towards the owl, letting it in and untying the parchment attached to it.

Draco,

I heard about the attack on the Muggle Born student, and I'm hoping you had nothing to do with it as you're meant to be keeping a low profile. I'm sure you wouldn't want to disappoint me like that, so I trust you had nothing to do with it. I'd like you to meet me in a weeks time outside the Shrieking Shack at 7:30pm. I expect you to have some useful information for me.

Father.

Draco swallowed as he finished reading. He felt sick as he wondered how his father would possibly be able to get into Hogsmeade. He also worried about this 'useful information' he was meant to be providing. Draco had nothing of the sort, and he wasn't intending to give any. But he knew what his father was like, and he knew that he'd be livid if Draco provided no help. He walked over to his mirror, staring at his reflection. He had dark shadows under his eyes which held a deep contrast against his pale skin. The fear and pain in his eyes was evident, and Draco splashed cold water across his face, trying to wash away everything that was plaguing his mind with such angst.

The week passed by quickly, and before he knew it, Draco was staring into the same mirror, having just finished getting ready to meet his father. Sneaking out of the castle proved easy for him, and as he made his way towards the Shrieking Shack, he was steadily growing more and more afraid. Spotting a dark silhouette in the near distance, Draco swallowed down his fear and nausea as he walked towards his father.

'Father?' He cleared his throat.

'Ahh Draco.' Lucius turned to meet him, face twisting into a smile.

Draco nodded, looking at his feet.

'Is there a problem?' He raised an eyebrow.

'No. Not at all.' He forced a smile, which he feared was more of a grimace.

Lucius continued eyeing him suspiciously. 'You're acting very...strange.'

'Am I? Probably that firewhisky I had earlier.' He forced a laugh, feeling sick.

Lucius narrowed his eyes in response, but Draco was relieved when his mouth finally lifted into a small smirk, looking convinced. 'This attack on the Muggle Born...I trust it had nothing to do with you?'

'No. It didn't.' Draco shifted his feet awkwardly.

'Do you know who the attacker was?'

'Pansy Parkinson.'

'Ahh of course. Your girlfriend. Not planned was it?' He raised an eyebrow.

'Pansy is not my girlfriend.' He replied through gritted teeth. 'And no, it wasn't planned.'

'I'm glad to hear it.' He smiled slightly. 'She would have been good for you.'

Draco scowled, knowing that his father was on good terms with the Parkinsons, and that he'd been planning his and Pansy's wedding since they had met.

'So any news for me?' Lucius asked.

Draco stared at the ground, terrified to give him a response.

'Draco?'

He looked up at his father, who was studying him intensely. 'No.' He whispered.

'No?' Lucius' eyes flashed dangerously.

'No. I haven't. There is no news.' Draco swallowed and stared at him bravely.

Lucius continued studying his son, not saying a word. Draco could feel himself trembling under his hard gaze, but held eye contact. Finally his father spoke.

'You are a useless, worthless excuse for a son.' He hissed. 'What is your excuse? Been too busy with your Head Boy duties? Too busy with your nose in books?' He sneered.

'Nothing's been happening, the Mudblood's away, I couldn't get any information if I tried!'

'RUBBISH!' Lucius shouted, making Draco jump in fear.

'It's true, I couldnt-'

But Draco was interrupted as he felt his father's fist collide with his cheek, pain shooting up the left side of his face. He stared at Lucius in shock, shaking furiously as he lifted a hand to his face.

'You've disappointed me Draco.' He said quietly, his stare threatening.

He bowed his head. 'Sorry father.' He muttered.

'I don't know why I'm surprised really. You always were a disappointment.'

Draco looked up at his father, eyes wide with hurt. He closed his eyes, willing the tears not to spill as he turned his back on him and started walking away.

'Where do you think you're going?!' Draco jumped as his father bellowed at him.

He turned around. 'I'm no use to you, you said it yourself. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, Father. You'll be better off without me. Go find someone else to do your dirty work.' He spat.

Lucius' eyes flashed in anger and Draco was surprised at his courage to stand up to him, but all feelings of satisfaction disappeared as his father made his way towards him, his face red with rage. Draco cowered as Lucius reached out, grabbing one of his arms and pinning him aggressively against the wall of the Shrieking Shack, grabbing his neck with one of his hands.

'You listen to me, you will do what I say, when I say it. You will obey me, you will bring me information, you will do everything I ask. Otherwise your life will not be worth living. Understand me?'

Draco nodded, his eyes wide as his father choked him.

'Good.' Lucius released him, throwing him to the ground, causing Draco to hit his head hard on the stone pavement. He stood up, backing well away from his father, shaking violently.

'I'm glad everything's clear now. We'll meet here at the same time, in a month. I look forward to what news you bring me, I trust there will be a significant amount too.' His eyes flashed threateningly, and Draco just nodded, still gasping for breath.

'Until then, son. And please clean yourself up, you look a disgrace.' He sneered at his son before walking away, disappearing into the dark shadow of the night.

Draco dropped back to the ground, trying to get his breath back. He was still shaking, and tears were now running down his face. He had to stop himself crying out as he sat himself up. He could feel a trickle of blood trailing it's way down the side of his face, and there was a sharp pain in one side of his ribs. He was still in absolute shock over what had just happened. He knew his father was capable of a lot of things, but he never thought he would harm his own son. But then again he was a disappointment, maybe he deserved it...

Unable to control himself any longer, Draco let out the sobs that he'd so desperately been trying to keep in. He sobbed in anger, fear, sadness. And most of all he wept for the one and only person he wanted with him. The one person he needed the most he'd ever needed her. After laying back on the cold pavement, shivering and weeping for a long while, Draco composed himself and stood up, deciding he should get back to the castle and praying he wouldn't meet anyone along the way.

Hermione

Hermione glanced up as the bell on the door of Madam Puddifoot's teashop tinkled, indicating someone had entered. She smiled as Ginny Weasley caught her eye and made her way towards her.

'It's so good to see you!' She held her arms out and Hermione stood up, accepting her friend's embrace.

'Hey Gin.' She beamed.

'You look great!' Ginny sat herself down at the table.

'Thanks. This break has really done me good. Want to order something?'

'I'll have a hot chocolate.'

Hermione made her way to the till, ordering two hot chocolates and a plate of Cauldron Cakes. Ginny raised her eyebrows as she returned to her seat.

'What?' Hermione frowned.

'Madam Puddifoot's? Really?' She gestured to a kissing couple at a table nearby.

'Well I happen to like it in here. It's...cosy!' Hermione said stubbornly.

Ginny laughed, shaking her head. 'That's one way of putting it.'

She scowled, pulling a piece from her cauldron cake and popping it into her mouth.

'So you're really okay now?' Ginny asked.

Hermione smiled. 'If by okay you mean I won't be breaking down in lessons or shouting at you, Harry and Ron in the hall, then yeah, I'm good.'

'Seriously 'Mione.' Her eyes were wide with concern. 'I'm worried about you. We all are.'

'Ginny.' Hermione reached out and squeezed her hand. 'I'm fine. I promise you I feel a lot better. And I'm sorry I was so harsh on you all. It wasn't fair and I regret it a lot.'

Ginny studied her for a second, then her face broke into a smile. 'Okay. I believe you.'

'Thank you.'

'So what actually happened? What made you break down like that? If you don't mind me asking of course.' She added quickly.

'I was just stressed over studying and Head duties.' Hermione spooned some cream from her hot chocolate into her mouth, loathing herself for lying to her best friend.

'Hermione. I've known you for 7 years now. And I know that lessons and organising events and prefects is not enough to send you into a breakdown like that. I mean you juggled about a thousand lessons using the time turner in your third year! Please. Tell me, I might be able to help?'

Ginny was looking at her gravely.

She opened her mouth, but found herself unable to speak.

'Hermione?' Her eyebrows were knitted together in concern.

She sighed. 'Okay. Well remember the person I was telling you about? The one that I was seeing? Well we broke up. I know I told you nothing was happening, but that was because I was unsure myself. And then before I knew it, we'd finished. Completely. And I couldn't bare it. My heart felt like it had been torn to pieces, I was struggling to get through each day. Seeing him around the castle, it was so difficult. Everything just got on top of me. So I had to get away, I just had to. It's really done me good being away from him. But..' She paused, playing with a marshmellow with her spoon.

'You don't know how you'll feel seeing him again?' Ginny finished for her, looking sympathetic.

'Exactly.' Hermione nodded.

'Oh 'Mione. I'm so sorry. You should have come to me! I could have helped you through this.'

'It's okay Ginny, really. I'm okay now. And when I see him...well I'll have to stay strong. I'm going to concentrate on my studying and duties, and I'm going to get through this.'

'Well I'm glad to hear it.' She squeezed her hand. 'I'm always here though, okay? If you get upset, please come to me.'

'Of course I will. Thank you.' She smiled at her gratefully.

'It's okay. So are you going to tell me who it is? So I can use my Bat Bogey hex on him?' She grinned, an evil glint in her eyes.

Hermione shook her head, laughing. 'Not today Gin.'

'Damn, just when I thought I'd found the perfect excuse to use it!'

'There's always Pansy Parkinson.'

'True. Her existence itself is enough of an excuse to hex her.'

'You're awful!'

'So is she! But seriously. When will you tell me who this mystery guy is?'

'When I'm ready. And today's just not the day.'

'I understand.' She nodded, taking a sip of her drink.

'Thank you.'

'Oh, I almost forgot!' Ginny leant down, rifling through her bag until she'd found what she was looking for. 'Here.' She handed Hermione a Honeydukes bag. 'It's filled with your favourites. Ron got it for you, asked me to bring it along.'

'Oh, that's kind of him. Thank him for me?'

'Well aren't you coming back to school tonight? You could thank him then, I'm sure he'd love to see you!'

'I think I might just go straight to my common room, Ginny. I want to keep a bit of a low profile.'

'Ahh. Okay.' She nodded in understanding.

'How's Ron doing?'

'He's okay. I think he's coming to terms with the fact you are really over now.'

'That's great news.' She smiled. 'And you and Harry?'

'We're great. I love him so much.' Her eyes were shining, and Hermione could see for herself just how much she loved her best friend.

'I'm happy for you.'

'Thanks 'Mione. And don't worry. You and this guy of yours will work things out. I know it.' She nodded confidently.

'I'm not so sure about that.' Hermione smiled weakly.

'You will.'

'He thinks I'm in love with Ron.' She blurted out.

'What?' Ginny looked beweildered.

Hermione sighed. 'He walked into the hospital wing as Ron and I were making up. Ron had kissed my hand and I was laughing at something he'd said. So he jumped to the wrong conclusion and accused me of using him as a way to distract myself from my feelings for Ron.'

'Wow..he sounds like an insecure idiot. No offence.'

'He's...complex. He's not had the best of times and finds it hard to trust people.'

'You're telling me. What did you say when he accused you of loving Ron?'

'I shouted at him. Told him it wasn't true at all. Which made things even worse and that's when we finished.'

'I'm sorry Hermione.'

'It's okay. Really. I'll be okay.'

'If you're sure.' Ginny's eyes were wide with sympathy.

'I am.'

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, finishing their hot drinks and cakes. Finally, Ginny stood up. 'I'm going to have to go. The feast will be soon, and I don't want to keep Harry and Ron waiting.'

'That's okay Gin. Thanks for coming to see me, it's been great catching up.'

Ginny smiled. 'It has, I'm really glad you're feeling better and that you're coming home tonight. School hasn't been the same without you.'

'So am I. I'm looking forward to lessons.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Typical Hermione Granger that is. Remember, I'm here if you need to talk. Anytime, okay?'

'Okay. I'll remember that. Thank you.'

'I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow?'

'You shall. Bye Ginny.'

'Bye 'Mione.'

Hermione watched as her red headed friend left the teashop. Looking at the time and deciding that she herself had better be getting back to the inn that she had been staying in for the past fortnight. As she made her way back, her mind drifted to Draco, and how she would most likely be seeing him tonight. She wasn't sure if she was ready at all, and was worried that she would suffer another breakdown upon coming face to face with him again. She had thought a lot about him the past two weeks, and as much as she'd tried to push him out of her thoughts, she just couldn't let him go. She knew it wasn't good for her to be thinking about him so much, so she had told herself that when she returned to school, she'd push herself into studying extra hard for her exams, even if they were a while away yet. Hermione sighed, thinking to herself that that would be easier said then done.

'Ahh Hermione! I was starting to wonder where you'd got to!' Madam Butterfield, the plump, friendly witch who owned the inn with her husband waddled over, her face bright and smiling.

'Sorry, my friend and I lost track of time.' Hermione apologised.

'No worries! Do you want some dinner?'

'I'm okay thank you. I'm actually not going to be here long, I'm finishing my packing and then I'm leaving.'

'Oh nonsense! You need to have some food, you need to keep your strength up for your journey back!'

Hermione smiled, Madam Butterfield reminded her a lot of Mrs Weasley sometimes. 'Really, I'm fine, I had quite a few Cauldron Cakes not long ago, so that will keep me going!'

'Hmm okay.' Madam Butterfield rolled her eyes disapprovingly. 'Well, I better leave you to your packing! Come and say goodbye before you leave?'

'Of course I will.'

Hermione made her way upstairs, unlocking the door to her bedroom. She packed the rest of her belongings together, and sat back on her bed. She was starting to feel slightly nervous about her return. Seeing Draco again would be difficult, and she was anxious about how he would behave towards her. Double checking she had collected everything that belonged to her, Hermione took one last wistful look at her cosy room, before closing the door and returning downstairs. She sought out Madam Butterfield, who was chatting away merrily to an old wizard.

'Ah Miss Granger! I take it you're all packed and ready to go?' She beamed at her.

'Yes, I am. Thank you so much for having me. I've had a great time here.'

'It's no problem, it's been lovely having you stay here. Please don't hesistate to return!'

'I won't. Thank you.'

'Farewell Miss Granger. I wish you the best of luck.'

'Goodbye Madam Butterfield.' Hermione smiled at her and left the warm little inn. She wrapped her scarf around her neck tight, shivering slightly in the freezing temperature. As she made her way down the narrow path, she found herself startled by the slightest of sounds. She sighed to herself as she jumped at dog barking in the near distance. The attack she'd been through had left her slightly nervous at being alone, and Hermione was eager to get into the village of Honeydukes so she could mingle with fellow witches and wizards.

As she entered the village, she smiled to herself in relief. People were still wandering around, stood in groups chatting loudly together outside the Three Broomsticks, holding pints of Butterbeer. She walked slowly, not looking forward to being by herself again. As she passed a group of Slytherin students, she felt their eyes on her.

'Oh look, it's Granger. Returned from the loony bin have we?' She heard one of them sneer at her.

Hermione kept her eyes to the path in front of her fiercely, not wanting to give them any satisfaction by responding.

'See I always knew she'd end up there, must be those muggle genes.'

She closed her eyes as the group erupted into laughter, and quickened her pace, eager to get away from them. As she left Hogsmeade, Hermione felt the familiar fear return, particularly now after the incident with the Slytherins. It could easily have been one of them who had attacked her...She shook her head furiously, trying to stop her fear from getting the better of her. As Hermione reached the school grounds she was overcome with relief, and when she entered the main hall, she felt like she was finally home. Taking in the delicious smell of the feast wafting out of the Great Hall and the buzz of the students stood in groups gossiping, she felt herself smiling. She stood still for a moment, allowing the toasty warm feeling of the castle to cure her freezing fingers and toes. Two Ravenclaw students smiled and greeted her as she walked past, and Hermione beamed back, relieved that obviously not everyone believed she was a 'loony'.

Making her way up to the common room, Hermione tried to swallow down the fear and nausea that had replaced the relief and happiness of being back. She was dreading having to face Draco, she was scared for her feelings, scared about how he was going to react to her return.

'Ah you're back!' The witch on the portrait greeted Hermione as she reached the Common Room.

She smiled. 'Is Flobberworms still the password?'

'Of course.' The portrait swung open, and Hermione entered the room, trying to keep her hands steady as she pulled her suitcase through. Looking around at the familiar surroundings, she smiled slightly, again feeling relieved to be home. As she looked towards the kitchen area however, that was when she noticed him.

Draco had his back to her, and was leaning over the kitchen sink. Hermione frowned and cleared her throat, wondering if he hadn't heard her enter.

'Draco?'

She watched him look up, but he didn't turn around to face her, instead he kept his back to her. Hermione frowned again.

'Draco, I'm home.' She raised her voice a little.

Still nothing.

'Fine. Ignore me. I thought this break might have done me good, maybe do us good. But obviously you're still being immature, and I am not going to hang around and try to be civil towards you if you aren't prepared to make any effort!' Hermione snapped, shaking slightly in anger at his behaviour. She waited for him to react, and just as she was about to storm upstairs, she noticed him stir. He slowly turned around to face her, and Hermione gasped in shock. Draco's head was bleeding, blood trickling down one side of his face, and there was a bruise forming on one of his cheeks. There were purple marks, which Hermione thought resembled finger prints on his neck, and he was clutching one side of his chest, his eyes wide in pain. Grimacing slightly, he choked out. 'Happy now?'

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