It was Ben who finally broke the awkward silence. "Uh, thanks man," he
said. "For talking Doug into letting me go."
Andrew looked at Amy. "I didn't do it for you," he said brusquely.
"Well, whatever. Thanks anyway."
Andrew shrugged. "Sure, okay."
Amy glanced back and forth between them. "Well, that's a start," she said loudly, and they both looked at her, surprised. "A pathetic one, maybe, but at least you managed an exchange without cursing each other or causing bodily harm." They didn't speak, so she continued. "Look guys, somewhere along the way, this thing got completely out of hand. It's now so screwed up that you guys hate each other, things are weird between Andrew and me, and Ben and I can't have a conversation without tearing into each other. This is the last thing I ever wanted. It's not flattering, it's not impressive. It's infuriating. I'm not some human prize that you can battle it out over to find out who's the bigger man. And if you think I'll drop everything and run straight into the arms of whichever one of you ends up winning that game, you don't know me half as well as you think you do."
"Amy, that's --"
"I'm not done," she snapped at Andrew, who closed his mouth and stared at her as she went on. "What's going on here is not even remotely about me anymore, if it ever was. It's about this stupid competition between the two of you. So do whatever you have to do to fix this, but you should know that I'm not going to be around to play mediator anymore. And when it's over, when you finally give up the fight and come to your senses as the guys I once knew and loved, you might find that you've killed more than just your own friendship. By then, anything I shared with either one of you might just be irreparable."
There was a short silence as they stared at her, and then Ben cleared his throat and asked in a husky monotone, "What do you want?"
Amy was taken aback by the directness of the question. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Amy, you know what I mean. It's all that matters. It IS the bottom line, no matter what you think. Forget about us for a minute. What do you want?"
Amy took a deep breath. "I want things to go back to normal."
"That's a cop-out. What do you really want?"
"I just told you!"
"What you just told me is crap, Lindley! That's the nice, safe, middle-of- the-road answer, the one that can't hurt anyone and therefore doesn't MEAN anything. You can put an end to this right now. Tell us. Tell me." His eyes held hers unmercifully, refusing to let her look away.
"I don't know, Ben! I don't know," Amy's tone was pleading as she looked back at him, silently begging him to drop the third degree and let her off the hook.
"Yes you do. It's all over your face."
"I don't want to do this right now." She glanced to Andrew for help, but he was just watching the scene unfold before him, his eyebrows arched questioningly.
"There's no better time," Ben continued. "Just say it." He moved forward and grasped her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "I'm not going to do it for you."
Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at his battle-scarred face, the caked and drying blood, his penetrating eyes . . . and to her surprise she realized that he was right. She DID know what she wanted. She took a deep, shuddery breath and then looked directly into his clear green eyes. "I want him." The words fell heavily out of her mouth like stones, sounding absurdly melodramatic and very, very final. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she tore her gaze away from Ben and looked at the ground. She was terrified of the reaction, the consequences, half expecting the ground to open up and swallow them all from the sheer weight of this earth-shattering revelation. It didn't.
"Good."
Amy jerked her head back up and looked at Ben questioningly. He had a funny little half-smile on his lips, though his eyes were pained and maybe a little more sparkly than they should have been.
"You're finally telling yourself the truth," he said. "I don't think you've ever done that before."
Amy began to babble. "Ben, I don't want this to change everything. You told me you can't be my friend now, but please just think about that. We can get back to -- "
"Stop. I'm not going to break," he said gently.
"I mean it, though!"
"I know you do. I'm glad you do." Taking her face between his hands, Ben planted a soft kiss on Amy's forehead. "See you around, beautiful." He let go of her and took a step toward Andrew. "Man, I'm sorry about all this. I know you don't want to hear that from me, and I can't say as I blame you. But you probably know better than anyone how this got so out of hand. I mean, it's Amy Lindley we're talking about. . ."
Andrew smiled slightly and nodded.
"And I'll understand if this is always between us. If we can't get past it, that's just the price you pay, you know. But take care of her, okay? I know you will. You always have. And listen, if I had to lose her to someone, I'm glad it was you." He paused and cleared his throat, which had become somewhat choked, then clapped his hands together in a jovial way and said in a forced-sounding voice, "Well, seeing as how my car is currently out of commission and I could use some fresh air, I'm going to start the long walk home now . . . you guys enjoy your evening."
"Hey, um, I could give you a ride if you -- " Andrew began, but Ben interrupted.
"No thanks, really. You guys have enough to deal with right now."
Amy wanted to say something to him, something to take the edge off the pain she had inflicted, but nothing seemed to fit. "Bye, Ben," she managed as he started away from them. And then he was gone, lost in the darkness surrounding the pool of light from the street lamp.
Andrew stepped toward her then, and she was on the verge of telling him to leave her alone, that she didn't feel like delving into the details of her weighty revelation just yet. But he seemed to know without her telling him what she needed at that moment. He didn't speak; he simply put his arms around her and held her tightly, his chin resting on the top of her head. She buried her face in his chest and began to cry softly.
They stood like that for a long time, and when her tears finally subsided, she looked up at Andrew and tried to smile. "Thanks," she said hoarsely. "Honestly, I think I've done more crying during the past two months than in my whole life up till then."
"That's probably a safe bet," he said.
She hesitated, then looked up and met his eyes. "I meant it, you know. What I told Ben."
He nodded. "I hoped so."
"It's scary, though . . ."
"It is," he agreed. "But I'm willing to take a chance, Aim. Are you?"
There was a heavy pause. "I want to. Can you promise me it will work out?"
"You know I can't. Relationships don't come with guarantees. What I can promise you is that we'll give it our best shot. And that no matter what happens, we won't lose each other."
Amy stared at him for a few moments, then smiled. "That's better than nothing."
"I love you, Amy," Andrew said suddenly, then hurried on nervously. "You don't have to answer that right now, I just wanted you to know how I feel from the start. I've loved you my whole damn life, in one way or another. I guess now that feeling has just . . . evolved."
Amy leaned up and kissed him on the corner of the mouth, being careful to avoid the cut down the center of his bottom lip. "I love you too, Andy," she breathed. "I'm just sorry it took Ben to make me realize that."
Andrew smiled warmly at her. "Remind me to thank him for that."
Standing there in the cold under the glow of the halogen streetlight above, Amy silently thanked Ben for more than just that. She thanked him for forcing her to tell herself the truth for once in her life. Suddenly she felt more at peace than she had in weeks. In spite of her sadness over hurting Ben, she knew that this was where she belonged, here with her best friend in the world.
Holding both his hands in her own, she smiled back at him. "Let's get out of here," she said. "It's been over fifteen years; I think it's high time for our first date."
THE END
*** Thanks to my faithful readers, especially Danielle, Yelak, and Charlotte. Without your awesome reviews, I probably would have left this story unfinished a long time ago. I hope you are satisfied with the ending; I'm still not sure if I am or not, but here it is anyway. Also, let me know if you would be interested in a sequel sometime in the near future or if you think this group of characters is played out. Thanks again!***
Andrew looked at Amy. "I didn't do it for you," he said brusquely.
"Well, whatever. Thanks anyway."
Andrew shrugged. "Sure, okay."
Amy glanced back and forth between them. "Well, that's a start," she said loudly, and they both looked at her, surprised. "A pathetic one, maybe, but at least you managed an exchange without cursing each other or causing bodily harm." They didn't speak, so she continued. "Look guys, somewhere along the way, this thing got completely out of hand. It's now so screwed up that you guys hate each other, things are weird between Andrew and me, and Ben and I can't have a conversation without tearing into each other. This is the last thing I ever wanted. It's not flattering, it's not impressive. It's infuriating. I'm not some human prize that you can battle it out over to find out who's the bigger man. And if you think I'll drop everything and run straight into the arms of whichever one of you ends up winning that game, you don't know me half as well as you think you do."
"Amy, that's --"
"I'm not done," she snapped at Andrew, who closed his mouth and stared at her as she went on. "What's going on here is not even remotely about me anymore, if it ever was. It's about this stupid competition between the two of you. So do whatever you have to do to fix this, but you should know that I'm not going to be around to play mediator anymore. And when it's over, when you finally give up the fight and come to your senses as the guys I once knew and loved, you might find that you've killed more than just your own friendship. By then, anything I shared with either one of you might just be irreparable."
There was a short silence as they stared at her, and then Ben cleared his throat and asked in a husky monotone, "What do you want?"
Amy was taken aback by the directness of the question. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Amy, you know what I mean. It's all that matters. It IS the bottom line, no matter what you think. Forget about us for a minute. What do you want?"
Amy took a deep breath. "I want things to go back to normal."
"That's a cop-out. What do you really want?"
"I just told you!"
"What you just told me is crap, Lindley! That's the nice, safe, middle-of- the-road answer, the one that can't hurt anyone and therefore doesn't MEAN anything. You can put an end to this right now. Tell us. Tell me." His eyes held hers unmercifully, refusing to let her look away.
"I don't know, Ben! I don't know," Amy's tone was pleading as she looked back at him, silently begging him to drop the third degree and let her off the hook.
"Yes you do. It's all over your face."
"I don't want to do this right now." She glanced to Andrew for help, but he was just watching the scene unfold before him, his eyebrows arched questioningly.
"There's no better time," Ben continued. "Just say it." He moved forward and grasped her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "I'm not going to do it for you."
Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at his battle-scarred face, the caked and drying blood, his penetrating eyes . . . and to her surprise she realized that he was right. She DID know what she wanted. She took a deep, shuddery breath and then looked directly into his clear green eyes. "I want him." The words fell heavily out of her mouth like stones, sounding absurdly melodramatic and very, very final. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she tore her gaze away from Ben and looked at the ground. She was terrified of the reaction, the consequences, half expecting the ground to open up and swallow them all from the sheer weight of this earth-shattering revelation. It didn't.
"Good."
Amy jerked her head back up and looked at Ben questioningly. He had a funny little half-smile on his lips, though his eyes were pained and maybe a little more sparkly than they should have been.
"You're finally telling yourself the truth," he said. "I don't think you've ever done that before."
Amy began to babble. "Ben, I don't want this to change everything. You told me you can't be my friend now, but please just think about that. We can get back to -- "
"Stop. I'm not going to break," he said gently.
"I mean it, though!"
"I know you do. I'm glad you do." Taking her face between his hands, Ben planted a soft kiss on Amy's forehead. "See you around, beautiful." He let go of her and took a step toward Andrew. "Man, I'm sorry about all this. I know you don't want to hear that from me, and I can't say as I blame you. But you probably know better than anyone how this got so out of hand. I mean, it's Amy Lindley we're talking about. . ."
Andrew smiled slightly and nodded.
"And I'll understand if this is always between us. If we can't get past it, that's just the price you pay, you know. But take care of her, okay? I know you will. You always have. And listen, if I had to lose her to someone, I'm glad it was you." He paused and cleared his throat, which had become somewhat choked, then clapped his hands together in a jovial way and said in a forced-sounding voice, "Well, seeing as how my car is currently out of commission and I could use some fresh air, I'm going to start the long walk home now . . . you guys enjoy your evening."
"Hey, um, I could give you a ride if you -- " Andrew began, but Ben interrupted.
"No thanks, really. You guys have enough to deal with right now."
Amy wanted to say something to him, something to take the edge off the pain she had inflicted, but nothing seemed to fit. "Bye, Ben," she managed as he started away from them. And then he was gone, lost in the darkness surrounding the pool of light from the street lamp.
Andrew stepped toward her then, and she was on the verge of telling him to leave her alone, that she didn't feel like delving into the details of her weighty revelation just yet. But he seemed to know without her telling him what she needed at that moment. He didn't speak; he simply put his arms around her and held her tightly, his chin resting on the top of her head. She buried her face in his chest and began to cry softly.
They stood like that for a long time, and when her tears finally subsided, she looked up at Andrew and tried to smile. "Thanks," she said hoarsely. "Honestly, I think I've done more crying during the past two months than in my whole life up till then."
"That's probably a safe bet," he said.
She hesitated, then looked up and met his eyes. "I meant it, you know. What I told Ben."
He nodded. "I hoped so."
"It's scary, though . . ."
"It is," he agreed. "But I'm willing to take a chance, Aim. Are you?"
There was a heavy pause. "I want to. Can you promise me it will work out?"
"You know I can't. Relationships don't come with guarantees. What I can promise you is that we'll give it our best shot. And that no matter what happens, we won't lose each other."
Amy stared at him for a few moments, then smiled. "That's better than nothing."
"I love you, Amy," Andrew said suddenly, then hurried on nervously. "You don't have to answer that right now, I just wanted you to know how I feel from the start. I've loved you my whole damn life, in one way or another. I guess now that feeling has just . . . evolved."
Amy leaned up and kissed him on the corner of the mouth, being careful to avoid the cut down the center of his bottom lip. "I love you too, Andy," she breathed. "I'm just sorry it took Ben to make me realize that."
Andrew smiled warmly at her. "Remind me to thank him for that."
Standing there in the cold under the glow of the halogen streetlight above, Amy silently thanked Ben for more than just that. She thanked him for forcing her to tell herself the truth for once in her life. Suddenly she felt more at peace than she had in weeks. In spite of her sadness over hurting Ben, she knew that this was where she belonged, here with her best friend in the world.
Holding both his hands in her own, she smiled back at him. "Let's get out of here," she said. "It's been over fifteen years; I think it's high time for our first date."
THE END
*** Thanks to my faithful readers, especially Danielle, Yelak, and Charlotte. Without your awesome reviews, I probably would have left this story unfinished a long time ago. I hope you are satisfied with the ending; I'm still not sure if I am or not, but here it is anyway. Also, let me know if you would be interested in a sequel sometime in the near future or if you think this group of characters is played out. Thanks again!***