[Edward's P.O.V.]

How was I supposed to sit still and watch everyone cry about Bella? Cramped in a white washed room with pictures of Bella in front of you, her favourite jacket on the table, her belongings, everything reminded you of her. Traces of her scent clung to the air, enticing me, not wanting to let go. Yet, she wasn't here anymore. I know I can't just give up on her, she needed me. I couldn't keep calm knowing that her body was out there. If she was truly dead. Yet how did I really feel? Did I really accept her death? That I'm confused about. I don't think she's gone. Yet, I don't feel her anymore. I don't feel her presence, that certain knowledge that she's there, alive. I couldn't feel her anymore. Or maybe, it was I who couldn't feel.

As I sat there like a statue, taut of any emotion and eyes straight ahead, my mind began to wander on the things I might do if I couldn't find her. A cliff perhaps? Yet, we all know I'd survive the fall. I'd make Black so frustrated he'd have to rip me apart. Touch a toe to their territory, make them mad. The Volturi. The choices endless, all paths leading to her, Bella. Yet, what would Carlisle say? Esme as well? I couldn't leave them. I owe both of them all so much. For everything. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper. What'll they think? How will they react? Guilt.

Elise. I inwardly stiffened. There was something about her I couldn't even place. Her smile, the way her dark blue eyes sometimes mirrored the way I felt. It was like she understood everything. Everything I was going through. What would she say? After all she's done. After all that William's done for Bella and I as well. What would he think of me?

All along, all this time, I've only been thinking of me. Of what I'd be without Bella. What I want to feel. Yet, what about the other people in my life? Why didn't I ever think of them? Alice'll know, I know they'll all try to stop me. And in the end, I'll be the one to hurt the most for not only did I hurt myself but also everybody I truly cared for. What a selfish bastard I'd be if I ever do what I planned.

[End of Edward's P.O.V.]

A cliff……Black….. The Volturi…. The choices endless, all paths leading to her, Bella….

I was at the back of Edward and my brow furrowed as I heard only some of his thoughts. I had no idea why I only heard some but the moment I figured out what he was deep in thought with, I regretted it. I looked away. Jasper had told me it might happen, that even if Edward did not show that much emotion on the outside, he was pouring of it inside. Carlisle stood up and the rest of us did as well and with a quick farewell to the Swans, we were headed back to the Cullen's home. Silence was the only thing heard as I sat beside Edward as he drove going home. I didn't ever dare take a peek in his mind again, regret filling me. If ever we were to talk about it, I had no idea what to say to him. But I'd have to soon, I won't let him be the death of himself.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked me as we left the car and went inside the house.

"Nothing."

"You've been silent lately." He observed as we bounded the stairs and came to the second floor.

"Been thinking, that's all." I shrugged.

"Okay, well I'll see you later." He replied with a wave as he headed towards his room.

That was when I panicked, what if he was planning to do it now? Planning to go to La Push, planning on something else. I then did something without even thinking about it. It had to be the most cliché thing I had ever done in my life.

I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him, his back facing me.

"Please don't go." I whispered.

Hand on the doorknob, Edward looked shocked and confused all at the same time.