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Chapter Ten: The Slippery Slope

Jamie Murray

Time passed and I was still stuck in this tent. I had nothing to do except stare at the tent, occasionally hum a tune, or continue to study the owl figurine. I hadn't looked at it in a bit so I found the figurine and picked it up again. I gazed at its eyes with their mismatching colors. They seemed so strange. But they still didn't give me any sign of how to open it.

I was reminded of the time I spent at the Village of Fowl Devotes when we were rescuing the Quagmires from that strange fountain in the middle of the courtyard. The one shaped like a giant crow. Sunny got stuck up there hanging on for dear life with her teeth. She used them to press a button that opened the bird. It seemed so obvious once we had figured it out. Of course, that button had been on its eye.

Thoughtfully, I pressed my finger down on the brown eye but nothing happened so I tried it with the yellow eye. Sure enough, there was a strange, low buzzing noise. Then the back of the figurine popped open and a small screen was inside with a keypad of controls. I stared at the tent in its frame and my eyes widened. It must be some sort of video camera! There was a red dot on the top corner of the screen that flashed and I realized it was recording already. The control panel had a variety of buttons and I was curious about using them all. Except I knew it wouldn't be wise to press too many in case it caused a problem. The video camera was all I needed for now. It was absolutely perfect. I grinned as my mind swirled with all kinds of plans. I was tired of sitting around and waiting for help to come to me. Olaf may have stolen my notebook and Olaf may have destroyed some very my family's file, but I was going to make new evidence that he wouldn't get to destroy. So even if Violet and Klaus had perished, at least I could repay them with this. If those villains thought I was a spy than I would be.

I could hear the crunch of snow as a pair of feet neared the tent.

Quickly, I pressed the button on its eye again so it closed and stuffed the owl in my bag, letting the eyes poke out a bit. Just in case.

As I expected, the flap of the tent opened and Count Olaf entered.

"What are you doing?" he said with accusing eyes.

"Sitting in the tent," I said, "and passing the time."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I know what you're up to," he said in a low voice.

"What are you talking about?" I said, getting to my feet. "We were cooking. I didn't realize it counted as spying."

He raised his hand and struck me across the face so I fell to the floor of the tent. Then he kicked me in the stomach.

"Ow!" I cried.

"Don't play dumb with me," he growled. "I've been reading your stupid diary. I know all about your sneaking around and spying." He stepped towards me. "I know all about your plans that you've set up with that volunteer. Monty Kensicle. I don't know who that is but when I do, that volunteer will be very sorry he ever messed with my plans. I'll do what I did to Jacques Snicket." He grabbed me by my hair and forced me to my feet again. Then he leaned forward so he was in my face. "As for you, I'll be keeping a very, very, very close eye on you, you stupid girl!"

I took a deep breath and shuddered when I thought of Jacques Snicket lying lifeless on the floor. Then my imagination changed it to Monty Kensicle. I was so glad I hadn't used his true name in my notebook and I left out our meeting at Heimlich Hospital. At least he'll be somewhat safe for now.

"You don't need to worry," I said. "Because we lost touch. I haven't seen him in a long time. Besides, we never got the chance to do much."

"Of course. You're a pathetic, little ten year old girl with no one who cares about her," Olaf said, "You're too foolish to realize that soon all my plans will succeed because I have the Snicket file and soon I'll destroy like I did to your file. All the evidence that could send us to jail will be destroyed. Once we get to the last safe place, we'll burn that down too. Then the last evidence of our plans will be completely destroyed! We'll never have to worry about the authorities again!"

I was silent and out of the corner of my eye, I could see the owl figurine still poking a bit out of my bag. I bit my lip so my grin wouldn't give me away.

"Now," he said, "get out of here and go help toothface clean crumbs out of the car by blowing as hard as you can."

I nodded silently even though it was a ridiculous chore. Like when I had to pick up all the sticks on Count Olaf's property. I began to follow Olaf out of the tent but as I reached the flap that Olaf had exited through, I quickly turned and got the owl figurine. I wasn't done with spying yet. I stuffed it in my coat, suddenly thankful that it was oversized and could hide the owl quite easily.

"Where are you, Blondie?" Olaf hollered.

"I'm coming!" I said as I exited the tent. I hurried over to where Sunny was busy doing that ridiculous chore.

Sunny noticed the red mark on my face and frowned. "Olahurtu?" she said meaning, "Are you okay? Did Olaf hurt you?"

I shrugged. "Yeah but it only hurts a little," I lied. "Besides there are more important things." I lowered my voice. "Like finding out where the last safe place is."

Sunny nodded in agreement.

"So do you remember how those awful visitors said that there was a special piece of evidence hidden in a figurine at Caligari Carnival?" I began.

Sunny nodded. "Olburn," Sunny said which meant, "But Count Olaf burned the carnival down. The evidence was probably destroyed."

I shook my head and pulled the owl figurine out of my pocket. "I've got it," I said. "I realized that when they were talking about it. Not just because I got it at the carnival, it has an eye carved onto the bottom—V.F.D.'s insignia. And there's a secret compartment in it that opens to a screen. It's a video camera, Sunny. It probably has all kinds of information—evidence. And so we have to use it to make more. I need to ask you to do something."

Sunny looked at the owl figurine. "Whavor?" Sunny asked meaning, "What do I have to do?"

"We just have to make sure we use this for dinner," I said, "if they ask, we'll tell them it's a center piece. Esmé might recognize it but it won't be of much importance to them. Then, we can record their conversation and spy. Afterall, that's what I am to them. So be it! Well, what do you think?"

"Approb," Sunny said meaning, "Of course I'll help you spy on them as long as we don't get caught."

We smiled at each other with our new plan of action. I was tired of being pushed around by Count Olaf and all those other villains. It was my turn to fight back-for Klaus, for Violet, for Sunny, for Jacques Snicket, and for all of those volunteers out there. And myself.

Klaus Baudelaire

We broke apart and said final goodbyes as we prepared to go our separate ways. I stood under the archway of the library with Melissa as Violet and Quigley walked over to the waterfall. Melissa and I wished them good luck as I polished my glasses. I would be in for some serious research and I needed to be able to focus as best as I could.

"Good luck to you!" Violet called back. "Klaus—"

I placed my glasses on my nose and smiled bravely. "Whatever you're thinking of saying," I said, "say it when you return."

Violet nodded and turned towards the waterfall. I turned for the library but something stopped me.

"Violet, wait!" I shouted as she tapped the ice.

She glanced back. "What is it, Klaus?"

"If it's true," I said, "if Jane is up there, will you tell her…" I wanted to tell her something perhaps that I liked her very much. But I wanted to do that in person. I just needed her to know I was there for her. "Just tell her that I miss her."

Violet smiled. "Of course," she said, "but perhaps you'll get to tell her that yourself."

I nodded, hoping Violet was right and I would get that chance. For now, I had to focus on my research. I turned and headed inside the library, beckoning Melissa to follow me.

She trailed behind and when I looked at her she was giving me a sly smile.

"So where should we start?" Melissa asked, her expression fading quickly. "I guess I could show you my commonplace book to help you too. I also have the Murray file, though I'm not so sure that will help us solve Verbal Fridge Dialogue."

"This is going to be far more difficult," I said, "the library is destroyed with no way of searching for a specific book for information. We'll have to search the ashes to see if there are any other scraps lying around that could help us solve the mystery of Verbal Fridge Dialogue."

"Alright," she said. "You look on this side of the room and I'll look over there."

I nodded and we got to work.

Jamie Murray

Sunny and I were in the middle of our task of blowing the crumbs out of the car when I heard a strange noise. It was a sort of thunking noise coming from the frozen waterfall.

"What was that?" I said to Sunny. She shrugged and looked over at the frozen waterfall.

There was another thunk as if someone were chipping the ice away. Curious, I wandered over to the edge with Sunny and as we moved closer, we could here low voices.

"…667 Dark Avenue," A voice said that sounded very familiar. I almost couldn't believe it as I listened, my heart soaring with hope. "It took a very long time to go up and down that elevator shaft, trying to rescue Jane and your siblings. I hope this is a more successful journey."

I peered over the edge and could make out two people climbing the waterfall using what appeared to be fork-assisting climbing shoes. I couldn't believe my eyes, the girl had dark brown hair tied back with a hair ribbon. It was Violet! The boy who was with her looked strangely familiar but I couldn't see his face to be sure. But I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"Me too," the boy said, "What do you think we will find at the top?"

"Set!" Sunny answered, grinning from ear to ear. That was her way of saying "I knew you would find us!"

"I'm sorry," the boy said, not noticing us. "I didn't hear you over the wind. What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything," Violet said, looking up.

"We knew you would find us!" I said for Sunny and I couldn't stop from beaming in happiness.

"Sunny!" Violet cried, "Jane!"

"Sssh!" We said simultaneously.

"What is going on?" the boy asked.

"It's Sunny and Jane," Violet said as she climbed onto the peak. She went to Sunny first, hugging her youngest sister tightly before hugging me. We all had tears in our eyes. Now I knew we would be safe. Sunny and I could leave Count Olaf's clutches. The boy had climbed over the peak too and was leaning against one of the car's tires.

"I knew we'd see you again," Violet said. "I just knew it."

"Where's Klaus?" I asked, concerned. Did he survive? My smile faded and my chest tightened, as I prepared to hear the words I was dreading the most.

"Don't worry, he's safe and nearby," Violet said. "He knew we could find you, too."

"Set," Sunny agreed.

"That's a relief," I said, relaxing. It felt so wonderful to be wrong this time.

Then Violet noticed the red mark on my face. "Oh, no," she said, "he didn't hurt you again, did he?"

"Don't worry about it," I said, "it's nothing really. I'm fine. It just stings a little."

Suddenly I noticed the boy. It struck me that he looked strangely like Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. My eyes widened in amazement.

"Is that Quigley Quagmire?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yes," Violet replied. "This is Quigley Quagmire. He survived the fire after all."

I smiled and held my hand out to shake his. "Jacques told me about you," I said, "I tried to tell your siblings you were alive, but unfortunately, they slipped away before I had the chance. In fact, I didn't even have a chance to tell the Baudelaires. But I'm so glad you're alive."

Quigley smiled. "Jacques mentioned you too," he said, "You're Jamie Murray, right?"

I nodded. Sunny stepped forward to shake his hand too.

"Quigley helped lead us to the headquarters with a map he drew himself," Violet said.

"Arigato," Sunny said, which was her way of saying, "I appreciate your help, Quigley."

"And Melissa Sampson is at the bottom of the waterfall with Klaus," Violet said. "Do you remember her from the New York boarding school we attended? Well, she helped save the Murray file from being destroyed by Olaf and helped bring us to the headquarters too."

My eyes widened. "She's alive?" I said in surprise. "Olaf said she died in a fire and the Murray file was destroyed too."

Violet smiled and shook her head. "She survived luckily," she said, "and so did the file."

I grew even happier with this news.

"Was it you who signaled us?" Quigley asked.

"Yep." Sunny said "Jarus." Which meant, "Jane and I did it together."

"It was mostly Sunny," I said, "I only helped."

"How did you do it?" Violet asked.

"Lox," Sunny said.

"Count Olaf's been making you do the cooking?" Violet asked in astonishment.

"Yes," I said, "Sunny and I made a delicious looking breakfast but of course, they're picky eaters and blew up at us."

"Vaccurum," Sunny added.

"Olaf even made them clean crumbs out of the car," Violet explained to Quigley, "by blowing as hard as they could."

"That's ridiculous!" Quigley said.

"Cinderella," Sunny said meaning, "Jane and I have had to do all of the chores, while being humiliated at every turn." I nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, Count Olaf was hollering at us again.

"Where are you, Babylaire and Blondie?" he asked. "I've thought of more tasks for you to perform."

I looked at Violet and Quigley in panic.

"Hide," I whispered.

Violet and Quigley searched for a place to hide.

"Under the car," Violet said and they squeezed underneath the car.

I turned as Count Olaf and Esmé arrived. He glowered at us and Esmé was giving me a nasty look. Clearly I had upset her by what I said earlier. I don't think I would be wearing another one of her fashionable outfits anytime soon. I couldn't say I was disappointed.

"All we've had to eat all day is that smoked salmon, and it's almost dinnertime," Count Olaf complained. "You'd better get cooking, orphans. If it's as revolting as breakfast it'll be all your fault, Blondie."

"Tomorrow is False Spring," Esmé said, "and it would be very in to have a False Spring dinner."

"Did you hear that, orphans?" Olaf said. "My girlfriend wants a stylish dinner. Get to work."

"Olaf, we need you," said the woman in her gravelly voice. Olaf and Esmé stiffened at the sight of them. I shivered as they approached, clearly their rashes had faded and now they were very unhappy with me. they didn't understand that I had no control over the things that happened. If I did, I would've teleported out of here with Sunny by now. The only thing I knew how to do was move objects without touching them.

"Yes, Olaf," the man with a beard but no hair agreed. "Our recruitment plan will happen first thing in the morning, so we need you to help spread the net out on the ground."

"Can't you ask one of our employees?" Esmé asked. "There's the hook-handed man, the two white-faced women, and the three freaks we picked up at the carnival. That's eight people, if you include yourselves, to spread out the net. Why should we do it?"

The man and woman stepped toward Esmé and Olaf with a terrifying expression on their faces that made me shiver from head to toe. "You'll do it," the woman with hair but no beard said, "because I say so."

There was a pause and then Olaf laughed nervously. "That's a good point," he said. "Come on, Esmé. We've bossed around the Babylaire and Blondie, so there's nothing else to do around here anyway."

"That's true," Esmé agreed. "In fact, I was thinking about taking up smoking again, because I'm bored. Do you have any more of those green cigarettes?"

"I'm afraid not," the man with a beard but no hair replied as they moved away. "That's the only one I found."

"That's too bad," Esmé said. "I don't like the taste or the smell, and they're very bad for you, but cigarettes are very in and I'd like to smoke another one."

"Maybe there's another one in the ruins of headquarters," the woman with hair but no beard. "It's hard to find everything in all those ashes. We searched for days, and couldn't find the sugar bowl."

"Not in front of the baby," Olaf said fast and they walked away. We waited until they were out of sight and then Sunny said, "Coastkleer," which meant, "It's safe to come out now."

"Those were terrible people," Quigley said and shuddered as he brushed the gunk off of his coat. "They had me feel cold all over."

"They certainly had an aura of menace," Violet agreed in a low voice. "The feet with the tattoo were Count Olaf, and those glittery shows were Esmé Squalor, but who were the other two, Sunny?"

"Unno Narsonist," Sunny said quietly meaning, "I don't know, but they burned down V.F.D. headquarters."

"And the woman was the headmistress at my boarding school in Canada," I said, "She was the one who set the fire that nearly killed me, not Carmelita. She only took part in locking me inside that shed."

"Oh, my," Violet said and then explained Sunny's part to Quigley.

"Well, Klaus has found an important message that survived the fire," She said. "By the time we get you two down the waterfall, I'm sure he and Melissa will have it decoded. Come on."

"Nogo," Sunny said meaning, "I don't think Jane and I ought to accompany you."

I looked from Sunny to Violet and realized she was right. We still had the owl figurine to spy on Count Olaf and his companions.

"I agree," I said.

"Why on earth not?" Violet asked.

"There's one last safe place for volunteers to gather," I explained.

"Do you know where it is?" Quigley asked.

I shook my head sadly.

"Olafile," Sunny explained.

"But if Count Olaf has the Snicket file," Violet said, "how are you going to find out where this safe place is?"

"Matahari," Sunny said meaning, "If we stay, Jane and I can spy on them and find out."

Violet translated for Quigley.

"We have a plan," I said and pulled out the owl figurine. "This is an important piece of evidence that was hidden at the Caligari Carnival. I took it before Olaf could burn the place down and when I opened it, there was a video screen inside. Someone must have bugged it."

Quigley looked at the owl figurine curiously. "Really?"

I nodded and showed them the V.F.D. insignia on the bottom. "Not only that, but the eyes are quite strange looking. That's because one of them is a button. And I think the other is a lens."

"Wow," he said.

"So we were hoping to plant it somewhere and record their conversation," I said, "we can find out what they're up to and stop them."

"Absolutely not," Violet said. "It's not safe for you to stay here. It's bad enough that Olaf has made you do the cooking."

"Lox," Sunny pointed out.

"But what are you going to make for a False Spring dinner?" Violet asked.

I looked at Sunny, not knowing yet what we would make. Sunny gave Violet a smile and went to the trunk. She searched its contents and took out the frozen hunk of spinach, the can of water chestnuts, the large bag of mushrooms, and the enormous eggplant.

"False spring rolls!" She announced, which meant that we would wrap spinach leaves around various vegetables in honor of False Spring.

"I'm surprised you can even carry that eggplant, let alone prepare it," Violet said. "It must weigh as much as you do."

"I'll be here to help," I reminded her.

"Suppertunity," Sunny said and Violet translated, "Serving the troupe dinner will be a perfect chance to listen to their conversation or record it with the owl figurine."

"It sounds dangerous," Quigley said.

"Of course it's dangerous," Violet said, "If they're caught spying, who knows what they'll do? Jane has already been harmed enough. I've seen those bruises on your arms." She said this as I was pulling my sleeves down to pretend they still weren't there. There wasn't nearly as many bruises as they had slowly begun to fade. Of course, all the scratches were gone because of the ointment I put on them. "I don't want that happening to either of you again."

"Ga ga goo goo," Sunny said meaning, "I won't be caught, because they think I'm only a helpless baby."

"Sunny will be fine," I said, "If we get caught, they're most likely to blame me. They always do. But I can handle it."

"That's especially why neither of you should stay," Violet said.

"I think they're right," Quigley said. "It wouldn't be safe to carry her down the waterfall, and there's no extra fork-assisting climbing shoes for Jane to use. We need our hands and feet for the climb. Let them investigate the mystery they're most likely to solve, while we work on an escape plan."

Violet shook her head. "I don't want to leave them behind," she said. "The Baudelaires should never be separated."

"Separate Klaus," Sunny pointed out.

"If there's another place where volunteers are gathering," Quigley said, "we need to know where it is. Sunny and Jane can find out for us, but only if they stay here."

"I'm not going to leave my baby sister on top of a mountain," Violet said.

"I'm not a baby," Sunny said, letting go of the vegetables and giving Violet a hug. Violet paused and then after a moment, she smiled.

"I guess you're right," Violet said, "You're not a baby. But be careful, Sunny. You're a young girl, but it's still quite dangerous for a young girl to spy on villains. And remember, we're right at the bottom of the slope. If you need us, just signal again."

Sunny opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by an odd hissing noise from Olaf's car. It shifted slightly and I noticed one of the tires had gone flat.

"I must have punctured it," Violet said, "with my fork-assisted climbing shoes."

"I suppose that's not a nice thing to do," Quigley said, "but I can't say I'm sorry."

"How's dinner coming along, orphans?" Count Olaf called over the howl of the wind.

"I guess we'd better leave before we're discovered," Violet said, giving Sunny another hug and kissed her on the top of my head. "We'll see you soon, Sunny."

I looked down at the ground as they continued to say goodbye to each other. I knew it was wrong to be jealous, that it was only reasonable that Violet cared a lot for Sunny since they were sisters, but it still made me feel like it was Parents' Weekend all over again. Parents' Weekend was an annual event at my boarding school in Canada where everyone's parents, siblings, and relatives came to visit for a weekend. They set up all kinds of events like an egg toss, jump rope competitions, and all kinds of fun events. Since the boarding school I went to was mainly for children with guardians because of its cost, everyone else had their parents to play the games with. I always had to sit on the sidelines and keep score.

I remembered the first time I saw the event. It was the first time I realized what I didn't have.

And now in this moment, that feeling came back as if I were just the lone outsider.

"Good-bye, Jane," Violet said, giving me another hug. I pushed my thoughts aside and decided I was being too dramatic.

"Good-bye," Quigley said shaking my hand and then Sunny's. "I'm so glad to finally meet you both in person. And thank you very much for helping us find the last safe place."

"Of course," I said, "This is our mystery to solve too."

I glanced at Sunny who looked from Violet to Quigley to me with a huge smile on her face. I knew she felt the same happy feeling I did. Knowing that the Baudelaires were all alive and well, that Quigley and Melissa were with us, filled me with warmth and the knowledge that we could possibly have a happy ending.

"Happy," Sunny said, and despite my stinging cheek, I couldn't help feel it too.

Klaus Baudelaire

It took a very long time, but at last, Melissa and I had decoded the strange message of Verbal Fridge Dialogue. We had spent most of the time searching for clues in the wreckage of the library before finding our first clue.

"What's this?" I carefully picked up a page that was in the same pile of ashes that I found the last message in. I scanned the page and discovered that it was an explanation of how the code works. "Melissa, come over here, I think I found something."

Melissa walked over and I shined the flashlight I had found onto the page so I could read: "'Verbal Fridge Dialogue is an emergency communication system that avails itself of the more esoteric products in a refrigerator. Volunteers will know such a code is being used by the presence of very fr—' That's where it ends."

"Well, it has to be something in the fridge," Melissa said. "Remember what Quigley said, 'Very Fresh Dill.'"

"That's what I was thinking," I said, "and 'esoteric' probably means items in the refrigerator that aren't used very much. So we need to look at the items in the fridge again. But I'd better copy this into my commonplace book before we do anything else. The page is quite fragile."

"Is there anything I can do?" Melissa asked.

I nodded. "Could you grab me something to use as a paperweight and all the contents of the fridge?" I said.

"Of course," Melissa said and left the library to go into the kitchen.

When she returned with all the materials, I had already copied the passage into both of our commonplace books. Melissa had said she wanted to keep track of everything in case it became important in the future.

Melissa handed me a burnt teacup that she said I could use for a paperweight. I put it on top of the piece of paper and then laid out the ingredients in a semi-circle around my workspace. There was the jar of mustard, the container of olives, three jars of jam, and the very fresh dill.

"Thank you," I said. We continued to work, sifting through the notes I copied into my commonplace book and searching the contents of each item. It was already dark by the time we had finally decoded the message.

"Yes, that's it!" I cried. "We've done it!"

Melissa looked at me in amazement. "My goodness you're a fantastic researcher," she said, "Violet mentioned you were interested in reading but I had no idea you were this good."

"Thank you," I said, "I appreciate your help." I turned back to my commonplace book. "I'll quickly copy it down into our notebooks."

"Great," Melissa said, "I'll go in the kitchen to see if Quigley and Violet have returned."

She exited the library and I got busy copying the last bits of information. I had completed filling in my notebook and was about to move onto Melissa's when I heard loud cracking noise like glass shattering followed by a scream that sent shivers up my spine.

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