Warnings: Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

Pairings: AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and I don't own these characters, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

Axel

I officially fucking hate everyone.

"Axel, quit pouting," Roxas teased, bumping my arm as he sat down next to me in the cafeteria. "Is something really wrong or are you just on your period?"

I grimaced. He knew exactly what was wrong, but I wasn't prepared to make a scene in the middle of the room, and I think that he was just determined to pretend that everything was normal. "I'm absolutely fine, Roxie." I watched uneasily as Demyx and Zexion headed over to our table, both looking very much like a couple, which was weird because Yuffie insisted that Demyx was with Xigbar. I'm not going to pretend to understand that kid. "Just a little tired."

Roxas laid his head on my shoulder. Mmm. I know it's not healthy, but I'mma just pretend that we're perfectly okay. "I love you, Roxie." He's not gonna say it back, so don't bother.

"Hey, guys, mind if we sit here?" I said nothing but Roxas must have done some non-verbal communication, because Demyx and Zexion both sat down across from us. Demyx gave us a sparkling smile. "Thanks."

"Demyx," said Zexion quietly, probably not intending for Rox and I to hear. "I wanna tell you something."

"Yeah, Zexy?" Demyx murmured back, wrapping his hand around Zexion's, which lay apathetic and EMO on the table, its nails painted black.

"You look beautiful today."

He leaned up and kissed Demyx, which made me feel kind of queasy because Zexion was such a slimy little bitch, so fuck knows how Roxas felt.

"Guys?" Oh, I guess we're about to find out how Roxas felt. "Do you have to kiss in the middle of the cafeteria?" Demyx blushed. "I thought you two weren't going to be a couple, anyway. You were just going to flirt incessantly and annoy the fuck out of everyone, weren't you?"

Zexion smirked. It was one of two facial expressions, the other being a scowl, that fit perfectly onto his EMO face. "I can't help it if your brother is downright fuckable and looks at me like –"

"That's enough, Zexion," Roxas snapped. Aww, he was so cute when he was irritated, and for some reason I found his death threats pretty sexy.

"We're not a couple," Demyx said, completely disregarding the tension between Zexion and Roxas. "We... we're just kind of... I don't know. It's weird."

"You like it, though," Zexion teased, leaning to the side to kiss Demyx on the cheek. I wasn't sure whether to be grossed out or to squeal like a fangirl. Once you got past Zexion's general dislikeability and aura of dickishness they were actually quite a cute couple.

"Roxie," I whispered in Roxas's ear, grinning when he tensed up at the sound of his hated pet name. Ooh, pet name. Like he was my pet. Like I owned him. He could have a leash and...

Anyway.

"Roxie, I think we should leave these two to it," I muttered, running a hand up Roxas's inner thigh as I spoke in the hope that he would completely forget everything he was thinking and act solely on the wants and needs of his penis. "We could go to the boys' locker rooms or something and just... get reacquainted. Know what I mean?"

"Nngh." I was doing pretty well at turning him on, it seemed. "Are you sure Dem will be okay?"

I looked across at Demyx and Zexion, who were just eye-fucking each other, nothing interesting. "I think that he'll survive, just about," I said quietly, leaning closer and running my tongue up the edge of his pretty little ear. "Just relax, and let's go somewhere..."

"Fine." Roxas sighed and stood up. "I'll see you guys around, I guess. Bye, Dem."

"Bye, Roxas," Demyx replied cheerily, waving at us both before returning his attention to Zexion, who seemed to be very nearly in his lap.

I lead Roxas by the hand into the boys' locker rooms. "Right, Roxas." Stay calm, don't get pissed at him, don't fuck him too hard, breathe deeply... "What's going on with you and Pence?"

"N-nothing." Roxas's eyes widened as I pushed him up against the nearest wall. "Why would there be..."

"I can just tell." That, and Megan was very easy to manipulate when she had only had three hours of sleep. "Now, how about I show you what a real man can do for you?"

I heard Roxas gulp as I swooped down on his neck and started kissing, sucking, biting, licking... you know the type. "Axel, there is nothing between Pence and I. I swear on... on Charizard."

I smirked at him. "On Charizard, eh? Oh, well now I guess I'll have to believe you."

"Charizard is my favourite," Roxas muttered sulkily. He wasn't sulky for very fucking long, I tell you that much. "Ah! A-Axel, do that again..."

"What, this?" I asked, biting down on a particularly sensitive spot on Roxas's neck. "You like that, Roxie?"

"Don't call me – gah!" He grabbed my shoulders suddenly as I demonstrated a trick I'd learnt from reading yaoi fanfiction, something a little bit explicit that involved my hand and Roxas's crotch. "Y-you know, Axel... if you end up getting too excited... ooh..." I grinned at the look on his face when I started unbuttoning his shirt, "...you could... could burn me."

I chuckled deep in my throat. (That wasn't the only thing I wanted deep in my throat, if you get my drift. If you don't get my drift, well, I want to suck Roxas off.) "Relax, baby," I told him, running a finger along his collarbone. "I know what I'm doing. I promise I'm not going to hurt you."

Well, you may not be able to walk tomorrow, and your throat might hurt like hell, and you'll probably scream my name in that pretty little uke voice of yours... but other than that, you'll be fine.

"A-Axel, oh my God, how do you even – ah!"

"You make the prettiest noises," I told him, getting to work on making him make more pretty noises for me. "Say my name again, Roxie."

"Oh, fuck off, Axie." Even with one of my hands in his pants, he still managed to be pissed at my use of his pet name. "You don't even – oh God..."

"You miss Pence right now?" I asked, fully aware of how cruel I was being, as I started sliding Roxas's trousers down his perfectly shaped legs. "Who would you rather have, Roxie? Me or him?"

"Y-you," he whispered shakily, his hips moving forward of their own accord when I stroked him through his boxers. "Fuck, Axel."

"Fuck Axel" was indeed the plan, Roxas. Well done.

"You really sure, Roxie? Say it for me. Tell me that you're mine." I started fiddling with the hem of his underwear while sucking on the part of his neck that was clearly very sensitive.

"I'm yours, Axel, all yours, just... just... stop teasing," he whimpered, placing a clumsy kiss on my lips. "Axel, please," he whined, his hands reaching down for my belt.

Well, I wasn't having any of that. I pinned his hands above his head easily with only one hand of my own, using the other hand to basically tease the fuck out of him. "Now, now, Roxie," I smirked, finally getting his trousers to fall to the floor and starting to run a thumb along the waistband of his boxers. "Just sit back and let me do the work." Translation: I'm going to dominate you all over the floor and leave you bruised and smelling of sex. "Tell me you love me."

"I-I... Axel, oh my God..." I chuckled, still teasing him like fuck because I'm a bastard like that. "I love..."

"What do you love, Roxie?" I murmured in his ear, pushing his now unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders.

And then there was the noise of the door opening. Shit. Roxas pushed me away from him and dove into the locker to his left, somehow managing to fold himself in half and close the door after himself. I just did the sensible thing and hid under a bench, somewhat more visible than Roxas but also a whole lot more comfortable.

So now we were trapped, and horny, and he still hadn't told me that he loved me.

Don't ya just love life sometimes?

Megan

I strolled through the English corridor at lunch, not bothering with food because Naminé was nowhere to be found so there was no one to set an example for. I could always have a fuckton of dinner, anyway. And I wasn't all that hungry. Three hours of sleep tended to fuck your appetite as well as everything else.

I stopped in my tracks, having heard a very distinctive giggle. That was Demyx. Unless I was going crazy. Which, quite frankly, seemed more and more possible with every passing day.

"Zexy, that feels weird." Yup, gotta be Demyx. It sounded like he, and probably Zexion as well, were right around the corner. "C'mon, stop it."

I swallowed. It probably wasn't a good idea to get involved. I was exhausted, for a start, and felt slightly dizzy, and would probably either murder Zexion or pass out in the middle of trying. Neither of these things would be of any help to Demyx and both would probably leave me even more pissed off than I was to start with, so I just took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, listening, waiting...

"Demyx, do you love me?" Zexion asked. I bit my lip so hard that it hurt, both because Zexion was a bastard and because nausea was filling me from head to toe.

"Um... well... oh my God, Zexy, that feels so weird, stop it!" Okay, in exactly ten seconds I was going to kill a bitch.

"Oh, come on, Demyx, don't be such a – oh. Hi, Xigbar."

Oh, the universe fucking loves me right now. And I love it back.

"Hello, Zexion. Would you mind separating yourself from Demyx?" Kill him. Kill him. FUCKING KILL HIM, XIGBAR. GOD. I tilted my head up to the ceiling. I really needed some sleep. Like, really needed some sleep.

"I don't see why I should." Because you're a cunt. "Dem doesn't mind, do you, babe?"

Eww he called my brother babe eww. "Um, well, I... um..."

"He looks like he minds rather a lot," Xigbar said curtly. "Now, run along and read Twilight or some shit. I don't care, just do it somewhere else. I need to talk to Demyx about his grade."

"What about my grade?" Demyx asked, clearly not realising that Xigbar was lying his ass off. I heard Zexion's footsteps approaching and whipped out my cellphone so I didn't look like I'd been eavesdropping.

When he walked past me he raised an eyebrow. "Megan," he muttered, nodding at me.

"Scum," I responded, nodding back. He just "tsk"ed and EMO'd off.

"So... um... what did you want to say about..." Demyx's sentence was cut off all of a sudden in a way that suggested that Xigbar had placed a hand over his mouth.

"Demyx, I want you to listen really carefully, okay?" I assume Demyx nodded. "I know you like Zexion, and if he makes you happy, well, I'll try not to kill him. But if he's ever touching you anywhere you don't want him to touch, or he tries to make you do something you don't want to do, you tell him no. If he keeps trying, hit him in the face. Or tell me and I'll deal with him." Xigbar paused for a moment. "Or Megan. Megan'll help you." I grinned to myself, feeling pretty damn proud of myself and the reputation that preceded me.

"Okay, Xiggy. I... I should probably get to class." I peeked round the corner to see Dem hugging Xigbar like his life depended on it. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too. I love you so much, Demyx."

Demyx smiled as he pulled away from Xigbar. "You know... I still don't know what's happening between me and Zex, and you and me... but I'm kinda happy the way things are now. Confused and slightly scared that you two are going to start fighting any minute now, but I love you, and I love him, and as long as you're both still around, I'm happy. Is that okay?"

Xigbar looked sort of pained, but he smiled. "Everything's okay, just as long as you're happy, Demyx." Oh my fuck, just get married, you two. Forget Zexion, Xigbar was obviously the single most perfect person for Demyx. "Get yourself to class, okay, kid? I'll call you tonight. Be good."

"Don't call me kid!" he protested. Xigbar just chuckled, but stopped abruptly when Dem leaned forwards, kissed him on the cheek, and then pretty much sprinted down the corridor to whichever lesson he had now. I leaned further around the corner and watched a kind of shell-shocked smile creep across Xigbar's face as he raised a hand to his cheek, where Demyx had kissed him, right on his huge-ass scar, in fact. Aww.

"Hey, Xigbar," I grinned, deciding to see how much of my next lesson I could miss talking to Xigbar. "So..."

"I assume you were listening then?" he said, lowering his hand from his face but still grinning like a hormone-high teenager.

"Well, of course. I was about to rip Zexion to shreds when you showed up. Shame, really. Although I guess you're pretty happy." I gestured vaguely to his cheek. He made a very unmanly noise that could almost have been a giggle if not for the fact that Xigbar would never giggle. "Thanks, by the way. What you said about Demyx coming to me if Zexion's creeping on him."

Xigbar shrugged. "You're a damn good person to be on the right side of. And I know you'd die for either of your brothers. I think pretty much everyone knows that. That's why nobody fucks with Roxas and Demyx."

I nodded. "Can I skip... um... whatever class I have next? And just hang with you?"

Most teachers would not even entertain this as a possibility, but Xigbar, as I may or may not have mentioned before, is fucking awesome. He contemplated it for a moment, then let me into his classroom and shut the door behind us. "You're lucky I've got a free period now, Megan." He tilted his head as he looked at me. "Are you all right?"

I shrugged. "Tired, but yeah, I'm okay. If I weren't here I'd probably still be skipping class, I'd just be with Marly, or in the girls' bathroom. Speaking of Marly..."

"Him and Vexen," Xigbar finished, pushing a beanbag in my direction and sitting on one of his own. "God, the sexual tension in the staffroom earlier..."

"Why, what happened?" I asked eagerly, leaning forwards a little. Xigbar grinned at me.

"For a pyromaniac killing machine with an IQ of one hundred and forty-eight and a reputation for maiming anyone who fucks with you... you are such a teenage girl sometimes." I scowled at him and he held up both hands in his defence. "Anyway, about Marluxia and Vexen... well..."

"You know, if they had kids, their kids would be ginger." I started chewing on my hangnails again, glad that Naminé and Marluxia weren't around to lecture me about it. "Because Vexen's hair is blonde and Marluxia's is pink, and I'm pretty sure that that would make orange."

Xigbar looked at me for a moment. "Megan... you do realise that they're both guys, right? So they couldn't actually make kids very easily?"

I fought the urge to facepalm – how the fuck did I just say that? – and sighed. "I only had about three hours of sleep last night. Nightmares, y'know. So anyway, what happened between Marly and Vexen?"

Xigbar rolled his eye. "You're so impatient, Megan. I pity the fool who attempts to have a relationship with you. Basically, Marluxia was making coffee for himself, and Vexen came up behind him, literally nearly-fucking-him-into-the-counter kind of behind him, and he says, "Are you gonna make any for me?""

"And then?" I prompted, licking up the blood I had just drawn from my thumb.

"And then, you impatient brat," he continued, with more affection than I thought was possible from someone who was calling you a brat, "Marluxia asked him if he wanted any sugar, and he said "From you or in the coffee?" And then they went to have their coffee outside, or so they said, and I haven't seen them since."

"Ooh, so you think they might have been..."

"They might still be, for all I know," Xigbar concurred with a shrug. "Megan... you wanna know something?"

"What?" I asked, sucking on my still-bleeding thumb. I must have looked so lethal, circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and sucking my thumb. Oh, well. I didn't really need Xigbar to be afraid of me at this point. He was on my side, against Zexion and his EMOness. I mean, I don't really have anything against EMOs in general. Well, I don't feel compelled to kill them, anyway. But Zexion was just so annoying, and I was kind of worried by the possibility of him date-raping Demyx.

"Well, say I were to marry Demyx, your brother." I looked at him expectantly. "I would be your and Roxas's brother-in-law."

I laughed. "That would be... fucking amazing. Weird as hell, yeah, but still really cool. Although I'm not quite sure how Roxas would feel about it." I shifted slightly on my beanbag, wondering whether Xigbar would mind if I fell asleep in his classroom. "You know, Yuffie told me that she saw you with Demyx last night."

Xigbar had the grace to look a little sheepish. "Yeah... I assume he told you that he was going off on his own?"

I nodded. "He's a shit liar, though. I knew he was going off with someone, and I kinda assumed it would be either you or Zexion. And I knew Yuffie works at the ice cream place so I asked her if she'd seen Dem. Apparently she played "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer for you and you didn't even take the chance."

Xigbar grinned. "Oh, yeah, she did. She planned it really carefully for me, it was so sweet of her. But Larxene showed up."

I frowned. "I don't really know what to make of Larxene. She's a bitch, but she doesn't really seem to do it on purpose. I think she just wants attention."

Xigbar laughed. I looked at him questioningly and he just shook his head. "It's funny... Dem said practically the same thing to her face last night. He's a lot deeper than you'd think, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is."

"It's weird... it's like, the more time I spend with him, and the more I find out about him, the more in love with him I fall." Xigbar looked like he had forgotten I was even there, wrapped up in his own little Demyx-filled world. Unlike Zexion, though, I doubted that he was having impure thoughts about my brother one hundred percent of the time. I mean, sure, the guy's got a dick and therefore probably thinks about sex from time to time. But I knew that there was no chance of Xigbar forcing Demyx into anything. Zexion, on the other hand, was an entirely different story.

"Xigbar?" I said quietly, looking up at the ceiling of his classroom, which somehow had chewing gum stuck on it and what looked like writing, but it was too high up for me to see properly. "What would you do if Dem chose Zexion?"

Xigbar shrugged, but I spotted the sadness that flitted across his face. "I don't know. I don't think he would... would he?"

I smiled softly. I didn't really need Xigbar going all mopey and miserable on me. "Nah, he wouldn't. Don't worry. You heard him. He loves you."

Xigbar did his lovesick teenager grin again. "He did say that, didn't he? Huh. You know, Megan, I know you want everyone to fear you and everything, but actually, you're a really sweet kid."

I laughed. "Just don't tell anyone, okay?"

Xigbar grinned. "I wouldn't dream of it."

There was a knock at the door. Xigbar and I exchanged uneasy looks, and I went and hid behind his desk without a word, having done this on more than one occasion. Then I listened.

"Hey, Xigbar." Oh, okay, it was just Xion. Xion was okay. "Um, I'm kind of trying not to go to Math, and I was wondering if..."

"Get your ass in here, then," Xigbar sighed, pushing her through the door and closing it behind her. I peered out from behind the desk, smiling at Xion, who looked mildly terrified. "As you can see, we already have Megan with us."

"I'm so fucked-up tired, I genuinely cannot remember which class I'm meant to be at." I shrugged. Nothing important, I'm sure. "This your first time skipping class?"

She nodded, sitting timidly on one of the armchairs. "You won't tell anyone, right?"

"Of course not. Pretty much all of my free periods are spent harbouring fugitives anyway. Any particular reason you're skipping Math, Xion?" Xigbar asked, perching on the edge of his desk.

"Well, last Math lesson, I kind of had a breakdown in the middle of class and now I'm really embarrassed to go back." I nodded, satisfied with this explanation. "Plus I haven't done the homework."

"So what happened last lesson?" Xigbar inquired, suddenly back in concerned teacher mode.

"Well... I was just really upset... like, things aren't going great at home, and then Seifer and his gang decided to bitch me out in the middle of the hall, and I went into class on the verge of tears and then Yuffie asked me if I was okay and I just kind of lost it, started crying and choking and stuff. So now everyone thinks I'm nuts."

"Don't worry. People I know from school actually cross the street to avoid me a lot of the time," I told her. "Oh, and today something interesting happened to me in Math, as well. Or it might not have been interesting. I don't really know. See, I completely zoned out for about twenty minutes, and I think I fell asleep. And when I woke up everyone was sniggering and Naminé wouldn't look me in the eye or tell me what happened, and worst of all Seifer looked really pleased with himself, so..."

"Aha. That really is shit." Xion looked down at her feet. "At least people actually pay attention to you."

Xigbar chuckled. "They have to try pretty damn hard not to, considering she tries to burn down the school every Chemistry lesson."

"Pssh, Vexen exaggerates," I lied, waving a hand airily. Xion giggled. "Anyway, at least I don't hang around ice cream shops with –"

"That's enough, Megan," Xigbar interjected, and I laughed slightly evilly.

"I've already heard the rumour that you and Demyx were on a date last night, Xigbar," Xion said, and I had to stifle a snigger. "Larxene's been telling everyone. So I think it's only fair that I tell you something interesting about her. Something she wouldn't want to get out."

"Go on," I said, feeling the wicked smile creeping up my face again.

"She's about three months pregnant and she doesn't know who the father is." I gasped, not really expecting this at all. Who would fuck Larxene? "Apparently she was at a party in Hollow Bastion, and all she remembers is that he was blonde."

"Oh, that narrows it down," Xigbar said sarcastically. "As long as it wasn't Demyx I don't give a fuck."

"Xigbar, Demyx doesn't know how to have sex," I informed him.

"Have fun with that," Xion joked, and I laughed in spite of myself.

Xigbar sighed at both of us, like we were being teenage girls on purpose. "Well if he doesn't know how, he isn't gonna understand what it means, right? So if someone malicious were to come along and manipulate him into doing things he doesn't want to do..."

"Relax, Xigbar, we're not gonna let that happen." He was, of course, talking more about Zexion than he was about Larxene. Larxene probably wouldn't touch Demyx with a stick. "It's nice you care so much about him. Some people just think he's kind of thick."

"He's not thick!" Xion protested. "You should see him in Music, nobody else can get a word in edgeways. And I don't know how the fuck he manages to remember so much about David Bowie, I don't even know that much about myself. Oh, and he can do quadratic equations like they're nothing. Just because he's lucky enough not to realise how conniving and manipulative the rest of the world is doesn't make him stupid."

There was a long pause. Then I said, "Xion, have I ever mentioned that I really quite like you?"

She grinned. "Thanks, Megan. I really quite like you too."

"Yeah, yeah, we all love each other. Now, how are we gonna kill Zexion?" Xigbar asked.

"With fire, of course." I looked at the floor. "I set fire to my dad last night," I admitted.
"Nice one!" I smiled in spite of myself. "You get an A for the rest of the year, just for that."

Xion laughed. "I think I should come here more often."

"You should." I pulled out my cellphone. "We're nuts, but we're happy, and that's what counts, right?"

"Yeah, it is." She smiled. "Thanks, Megan."

"Any time, hun." Wait, did I just call her "hun"? I only ever call Naminé "hun". How odd. "Thanks for not just assuming I'm a psychopath and Demyx is a retard like most people do."

"Any time."

xxx

There ya go, guys. I loves all of my reviewers, you know that, right? You guys keep me going through the awful times. Thank you all a whole lot. I mean that.

I don't have anything interesting to say except that I've started a XigDem fic called The Babysitter which you should go read. (Well, it's Braig and Myde at first, but you know...) It'll be my first canonical fic that's actually chaptered, and I'd appreciate it if you read and reviewed for me.

But review this first, 'kay? 'Kay. Love to y'all.