A/N: Bada bing bada boom, here's another update for you guys. Yeah it's short, but it contains a fair chunk of plot development.

Many peoples' worst fears will be realized..

Don't forget to review...

Chapter 21: Too Broken To Be Repaired

As I opened my eyes for the first time since being knocked out, what I beheld led me to believe that I was in heaven… which meant that the collapse of the aviary had killed me.

The blazing yellow sun was shining in the clear blue sky, puffy clouds drifting lazily by while playing tag with each other. A cool breeze swept over me and rustled the green grass all around me, the countless blades lightly tickling my skin.

My body ached dully, but I felt as if I had awakened from a full twelve months of deep sleep. I lifted my head up and examined myself, my once-gorgeous plumage patterned all over with spots of ash.

Fanned out on either side of me were two tattered wings, some primaries burned away, others broken. I had one white square of some type of padding taped to my side and another secured above my heart.

I felt the pain from a sizable bruise on my stomach flare up, and I winced. I lay back down, and thankfully, the pain subsided completely. I tilted my head to the left, and what I saw was clear evidence that I was actually alive, and not in heaven at all.

Six police cars, a Portuguese news van, and two firetrucks were spread out in a curved line about twenty feet away. A cluster of uniformed people were gathered in a tight crowd, and as I squinted, I spied the tall, skinny human bodies of Linda and Tulio, I think.

I rose to my talons and took two steps in that direction, but my belly let loose another spurt of pain. I froze and doubled over, barely managing to keep from falling to my knees. I groaned and clutched my midsection, looking to my right.

The aviary that had once dominated the area with its sturdy construction and fancy architecture was now hardly recognizable.

Only the outermost walls were still standing and untouched; the middle portion was nothing more than a pile of blackened rubble that appeared wet. Faint streams of smoke emerged here and there and were carried away with the breeze, and the overpowering odor of all sorts of burnt materials made my nostrils burn.

A police officer stood near the far wall where the wreckage began, jotting down information on a notepad and periodically answering a cellphone. Much closer to me, a team of firefighters were actively climbing on top of the ruins, inspecting them by turning over whatever chunks were light enough to be moved.

I stood there like a zombie and watched them carefully. They seemed to be searching for someone or something, methodically combing through the debris, but whom or what were they trying to find was an utter mystery to me.

I shut my eyes tight and tried to think back to what happened before, but the memories were blurred and incomplete.

There was fire, so much fire… a dead male macaw… and the rumbling as the roof caved in.

That was the limit of what I could recall, and the effort of trying to uncover anything else gave me a momentary headache.

I stopped wracking my brain and popped my eyes open, and this time, I spotted something new.

Off to one side of the gathering of humans, near a police car, was a loosely-packed collection of stacked cages. Each one held one single bird, though some cages had bags of fluid and monitoring equipment sitting next to them

. Three birds in particular seemed familiar to me, as if I had known them for quite some time.

On the top row, in the cage farthest to the left, was a rather overweight male bird with striking red feathers. In the row below and right in the middle was a tiny male bird that looked fragile, his feathers as intensely yellow as the sun itself. A second small creature colored exactly like the male lay in the cage next to his. I could not remember their names at the moment, but I did know that they were significant to me.

To the right of the metal boxes, perched on Tulio's arm, was a very blue macaw about my size. My instincts announced that he was very dear to me as well, but his name eluded me.

Just then, a burst of motion out of the corner of my eye caught my attention, and I turned my head to see what was going on. The diligent firefighters left the remains of the aviary behind and moved as a group, heading straight for Tulio and Linda.

Once they reached them, they stopped and drew the two humans away. They talked to them briefly, and then escorted them to the formerly-inhabitable structure that was Tulio's lab. The men in the bright red and orange suits conversed some more with the bird-lover and his spouse.

Midway through the conversation that I could not hear, the senior ornithologist ran his hands through his hair and walked away, the macaw on his arm squawking in alarm. Linda started shouting and shaking her head side to side, and then she dashed over to the building and started digging through the rocks.

Her movements were frantic, and her yells were loud and drowning in anguish. I could not figure out why she was in such a panic until I heard her say a name… a name that I would never forget.

She was screaming for Blu... who I knew was my lifelong mate and the father of my child.

In that instant, the memories swallowed my brain like a tidal wave, and my final moments with him replayed in my head like a frightening film. He was angry with me, tears pouring out of his eyes, our egg cradled in his wings.

"You doomed us all, Jewel! Why didn't you listen to me!" he exclaimed.

A few moments later, the roof of the aviary crumbled, and I caught one last glimpse of my mate's sapphire feathers before it buried both of us. The film cut off right after that, and I snapped back to reality.

But then… if I was out here… where were Blu and my baby? Why couldn't I see them anywhere? Why was Linda hollering his name?

Unless… unless… no… no no no…

I felt my stomach twist into a knot as choking dread came over me, the deadly feeling eating my current mood alive. A deep-seated desire to find my soul mate and my offspring seized control of my body, an ancient and undeniable need that I could not hope to fight.

I half-ran, half-fluttered directly for the mountain of damp, sooty stone, clambering onto it. I jogged and bounced all over the place, peeking into gaps between the boulders and tossing some away that I could lift.

And I never stopped repeating the name of the male who was my entire world.

"Blu! Where are you?! Answer me and tell me you're safe! Please, Blu! You have to be alright! C'mon, Blu!"

I must have covered three-fourths of the entire area before exhaustion set in and my voice went hoarse. I slowed down and jumped awkwardly from place to place, most of the time tripping and smacking some part of my body on the cold, smelly rocks.

I could only whisper the name of my lover, and it was hardly enough to reach him should he be entombed somewhere beneath my feet. Not once during the entire ordeal did I hear his masculine voice respond, and I felt like my blood was freezing in my veins.

I could barely move my body anymore, and as I made my way down to the base, closing in on Linda, my legs cramped and buckled. I tumbled head-over-tail the rest of the way down, suffering bumps and bruises along the way.

I face-planted into the spongy earth and slid to a gradual stop, paralyzed and moaning in pain and despair. I used every last bit of my strength to raise my head and spit out the dirt in my beak, and I glanced over at Linda.

Two of the firefighters secured her in their arms and removed her off of the mound of debris. She fought them and tried to break loose as a police officer began surrounding it with yellow tape covered in black lettering, but she was too weak.

They restrained her, and at this range, I could nearly understand what they were saying. I struggled to my feet and inched closer, making it about one foot before I was forced to rest.

I could see that her eyes were bloodshot and her face was stained with tears, and she looked like she was on the verge of crumbling too. And that's when one of the firemen said the one sentence I never imagined I would hear for as long as I lived.

"Linda, we've searched through the debris twice already, and we could not find your pet macaw. We highly doubt that anything still inside during the collapse could have survived. We fear that your macaw was crushed and, based on the circumstances, is dead. We're very sorry, and our hearts go out to you."

With that, Linda cupped her hands against her face and bawled, falling against the chest of one of the firemen who was bracing her.

My Blu… crushed into pieces… dead. Our son… or daughter… also dead… no… this isn't real. It can't be real. It can't… be… real…

The effects of their announcement were unbearable, and this time, I did sink to my knees.

Blu… he wasn't alive anymore… and neither was my unborn child. I would never hear him say he loved me ever again… hear my son or daughter laugh for the very first time.

My family was gone… our species was as good as extinct… I was condemned to be alone… and I had nothing or no one left.

I didn't even have time to burst into tears as I fell backwards, failing to breathe or even twitch as I became lost within my own body. The sun, the clouds, and the jungle spun like a top, and I went out like a light in a dead faint.

Even though my heart was beating and I was breathing, my life was finished. Everything I had known and loved had been brutally stolen from me, and I was hollow on the inside. My emotions were running rampant, untamed monsters that clawed at my organs and my brain.

And the beast of sadness was the wildest of them all.

Its screams were translated into copious tears, and so I cried uncontrollably into the chest feathers of my brother. He and I were in the upstairs bedroom of Linda's and Tulio's house, standing on the shelf right underneath the window.

He was doing his best to comfort me, but unless he could perform sorcery and revive my mate and child, it would never be enough. The wounds that were inflicted upon my soul were of a kind that could not be completely healed, and the agonizing scars would last until I, too, perished.

"Oh Ronaldo… I've lost him. I just got him back… and I've lost him… forever. And my poor baby… who never… even… hatched. Why…did it… have to be… this way? Why? Why?" I bawled, gripping Ronaldo's muscular wings as I squeezed him against me.

More and more of his feathers were being soaked with fluid, because I lacked the resolve to stop producing tears, but he didn't care. He placed his wing upon my back and ran it up and down my spine, and that soothing maneuver would have worked any other time.

But in this everlasting moment of tragedy, even his brotherly touch could not cure my emotional illness.

"Jewel, my lovely sister, I want to talk to you. But please, try to calm down," he said in a soft-but-stern tone.

I shook my head from side to side. "I… I can't... Ronaldo. I'm hurting… too much. I'm sorry…"

He slowly pulled away from me a few inches and put his wing under my chin, lifting my head up. His hazy eyes stared directly into mine, and he wiped away some of my tears.

I must have looked like the most pitiful bird on the planet, my feathers matted and my eyes no doubt bloodshot. But at least it didn't bother him one bit, something I was minutely thankful for.

"Jewel, I don't know how you will take this, but I think… I think that Blu and your child are still alive. They're probably imprisoned, yes, but far from dead. If the humans can't find them, Blu will break out and get in touch with someone. And no sensible father like Blu would ever allow harm to come to his offspring."

He paused and drew in a breath, running his wing across my face to remove more liquid.

"Blu will not let himself die so easily. He has too much to live for. He is somewhere in the wreckage, and one day soon, he will escape with the egg and reunite with his family. I have faith in him… and you should too."

His words were powerful and briefly held back my tears, but then they began to flow again. My soul rejected his statements, thinking that Ronaldo was only trying to instill false hope in me.

"How… how do you know… more than the humans do? It's not… possible. Blu… isn't coming back. My son or daughter… isn't coming back… either. They're both… dead. How hard… is it… for you to… understand?" I asked, whimpering like an abused slave.

"That's what faith is, Jewel: Belief in something that you cannot observe or know directly. My heart is confident that your mate and child are alive. For their sake, you have to have faith as-"

A burst of liquid grief erupted out of me, and I went into a partial meltdown.

I narrowed my eyes at Ronaldo and declared, "Why… why are you… trying to… deceive me? Why… are you trying to… make it seem… like everything… is fine? They're both dead… and I… will never… be myself… again."

I sniffled and added, "Why are… you doing this… to me? I thought… you… loved me?"

Ronaldo was taken aback, and he blinked as if my words had stunned him.

"Jewel… I can't bear to see you like this. I am only trying to help you avoid going into depression. There is a ray of hope for them. Please accept that, irmã…"

I breathed in a huge breath and collected my thoughts.

"No… I can't… and I won't. I am not… you. You don't know… the agony… I am going through. You never will. Just… just… stop trying… to fool me. Stop being… so… optimistic. Please…"

"But Jewel-"

"I… said… stop!"

My partial meltdown became total, and my legs folded beneath me. I slumped face first onto the warm, fluffy blanket spread over the wooden windowsill, covering my head with my wings.

I had reached my physical limit, and at long last, I could not spew forth anymore tears. I simply lay there, shuddering and whimpering in a broken rhythm, every gasping breath accompanied by a muffled sniffle.

Ronaldo remained silent for what seemed like an eternity, and maybe, just maybe, I had made him feel as utterly terrible as I did. When he finally spoke, his voice was downcast and quiet.

"Forgive me, sister. We are two very different birds, it seems. I will not talk anymore unless you ask for me to, as everything I say only upsets you further."

I parted my wings and poked my head out, sniffling lightly. Ronaldo was standing in the beam of golden sunlight streaming through the clear window, his back to me. His tail drooped, and his less-than-confident posture indicated that he was either tired… or ashamed.

He did not turn around or open his beak except to breathe, staring without pause at the sublime jungle and watching as cheerful macaws glided by every so often. When I focused in closer, my heart skipped a beat.

I saw one crystalline teardrop form on the lower edge of his right eye, glittering as it fell. It silently exploded into a shower of droplets as it hit the blanket, just as my life had done.

More tears dripped out and met the same fate as the first as the seconds ticked by, and I could not stand the heart-wrenching sight. Was he mourning for me, or for the lost lives of his cunhado and his nephew?

Maybe he was mourning for all of us.

I hid my head underneath my wings and sobbed again, and then willed myself to shut up as I locked my beak in the closed position. From then on, I only thought of my charming Blu and my precious child, whose spirits only existed as ghosts inside my head.

I lapsed into a nightmarish, fitful sleep in which the aviary slammed down upon me and my family over and over. Many times I was forced to watch my mate be subjected to traumatizing executions, my egg being obliterated along with him.

The visions were unspeakable, and even though I was exhausted from weeping, I did not want to sleep. But the nightmare was unrelenting, holding me prisoner in my own mind while it tortured me.

When a grisly scene came along in which I glimpsed my mate being beheaded, the shock factor was too extreme. I shot awake and screamed, my squawk bouncing off the walls and vibrating the air.

My body shivering, I darted my gaze here, there, and everywhere, and I realized my brother was gone.

Just how long I had slept I did not know, but the light entering the window and warming my back was still strong. I let my head drop, settling my gaze on the barely-open bedroom door.

A few minutes passed as I reclined there in absolute stillness and silence, my heart thudding in my chest. I closed my eyes tight, not daring to open them as I heard the door creak faintly.

The flapping of wings came next, followed by a dull thud that was very close to me. When my ears no longer picked up any noises, I delicately opened my eyes.

Ronaldo was by the window once more, morosely taking bites out of a mango. Right in front of me was an equally-fresh orange fruit, its potent scent tempting me. I didn't have the heart to eat, but my hunger flared and my stomach growled.

I stretched my neck and carved out a small slice with my beak. I chewed it slowly and swallowed, feeling the rich, gooey pulp slide down my dry throat. I went for another bite, but gasped when Ronaldo suddenly appeared in the middle of my field of view, standing behind the mango.

"I see you're finally awake," he stated flatly.

He was no longer crying, but the whites of his eyes were irritated and red.

"How does it taste? I went and picked it for you," he added in an unhappy tone, flicking his tongue over his beak.

"It's... it's good," I muttered.

"You're welcome. Enjoy your meal," he said dejectedly, and then returned to his favorite spot and resumed eating.

He seemed so cold and lifeless… maybe it's because I myself was cold and lifeless.

The way he mirrored my emotions meant that we were somehow linked, but this was not the Ronaldo I used to be in love with – and still am, in a platonic way. I made up my mind that I would confront him when I had consumed my mango.

Ten minutes later, when all that remained was the inedible stem, and I had thoroughly cleaned my beak, I decided it was time. I tentatively stood up and waddled carefully over to him, fearing that I would startle him if I approached too rapidly.

When he was within wing-reach, I extended my left wing and rested it on his back. He straightened as he felt my touch, and ruefully turned to look at me.

"Ro-Ronaldo?"

"What do you need, sister?"

"Why… why are you so somber? What's the matter?"

He hung his head and sighed, his reply delayed.

When our eyes met about ten seconds later, he answered, "I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to anger you earlier. I just thought that maybe I could instill some hope in you. I don't want you to suffer…"

"I accept your apology. But… I am doomed to suffer. I know you want to help… but the truth is… you can't. I am too broken… to be repaired. I am nothing… without them…"

The urge to sob came at me out of the blue, and I could not quell the rush of misery and sorrow. I buried my face in my wings as the tears ran freely and my chest began to pulse in and out.

"Oh Ronaldo… what do I do? How do I… move on? What is… my purpose in life?"

He failed to reply at first, drawing me to him in a hug.

"If your mate and chick are alive, as I believe them to be, then this dark period will not last. If they are not… then… all I can do is stay by your side and offer you companionship. I will not abandon you in your time of need, and you can count on me to be around until our last day together. I may never comprehend the pain you are going through, but I will help you combat it any way I can. At the very least, you have me, Jewel…"

His words touched the deepest recesses of my heart, proving that he was as reliable as my deceased mate had been. Ronaldo was my foundation even before Blu came into my life, and even though our future did not include him becoming my mate, his loyalty to me never faded.

My mate and chick may not exist anymore on this planet, but Ronaldo did… and so maybe I was wrong in claiming I had no one left. I would never be happy or normal from this day forwards, but perhaps he would give me the willpower to live out the rest of my days and not give up. I contained my tears in preparation for what I would do next, the ultimate reward for his devotion to me thus far and his recent admission of undying attachment.

I set myself free and pressed my beak against his, bliss being kindled in me.

His eyes darted open in surprise, and he exhaled a short sigh of pleasure. But the moment was not to last, as he pulled away in exasperation.

"Je-Jewel… what… why did… you do that?"

Without hesitation, I replied, "Ronaldo… ever since I was a little girl… you've been so good to me. A thousand years could go by, and I would never find someone who cared about me like you do. I… I love you, Ronaldo."

I paused and braced myself for my own personal admission.

"Ronaldo… would you be my unofficial mate?"

His lower beak trembled, and his normal-sized pupils expanded to take up most of the space in his eyes for a second time. After a long while of him staring at me, dumbfounded, he shook his head in denial.

"Jewel, what you ask of me… is impossible. I promised Blu that I would never interfere with you and him."

My temporary rise in bravery was extinguished, and I sank an inch closer to the blanket in defeat.

"But… but Ronaldo… he's gone. There's nothing stopping you from-"

He interrupted me as politely as possible.

"Your heartbreak must be what's driving you to say such a thing. You are a part of him, and he is a part of you. He can't be replaced. I only wish to be your brother, Jewel, not your lover. I respected your choice to be his mate, and now, you must respect mine. I truly love you, Jewel, but on my honor, I won't involve myself with you romantically. You said it yourself that I am a one-of-a-kind irmão who has protected you and cherished you, so there is no reason for me to be anything more."

This time, it was I who could not provide an answer. He spoke the truth and nothing but the truth, and I was at a loss to find a way to counter his argument. Fluid welled up in my eyes but did not flow, and I wondered if my reaction was lashing him on the inside.

"Is… is that it then?" I muttered after a brief eternity, my voice cracking. "Is it my fate… to be alone… until I die? To never experience the love… that I did… when I was with Blu? Is that… how you want me… to live… from now on?"

Ronaldo's reply was loaded with dread.

"Please, Jewel, don't think like that. Why would I ever ask for such a fate to befall you? Have you forgotten who I am and all that I stand for? Or has Blu's death left you in a state of confusion?"

The tears threatened to overcome my resistance, but I pushed them back.

"No, I'm not confused. I'm just desperate… for someone… to hold me… and kiss me… and love me. But I guess… the only one who could… do all those… things for me… is no longer… alive."

I had lost the battle, and for the umpteenth time, I found myself crying.

"There is no… ray of hope… for me. Solitude… will be my new… best friend… or maybe… my worst enemy. Just… just go away. Leave me… by myself. That's how I… will always be…"

"But irmã, I am not rejecting you on purpose. All I am trying to do is-"

I cut him off by spinning around and letting myself drop onto the blanket like I was a puppet who had had its strings cut. I grabbed one corner of the soft cloth and wrapped myself in it, deliberately hiding my face and turning my vision into a sea of pink.

"For your sake and mine, I pray to Cristo Redentor that Blu turns up soon. You're mentally unstable, and when I try to help you… I ruin everything…"

The sound of beating wings signaled that he had departed, and I piled more of the heavenly material onto me. Maybe this was a preview of how my life would be from now on, every day drowned in tears and frustration and anguish.

That meant that it wasn't worth being called a life at all.

The air turned hot and stale inside the blanket, and I figured I shouldn't be breathing in all the stuff I was breathing out. I uncovered only my head and inhaled deeply, releasing a sad whimper.

It would be such an amazing fairy tale if Blu dropped out of thin air right beside me, our unhatched chick held in his sleek wings. But the stupidity of that thought was incredible, because this world was not a storybook.

This was real life, where those who perished had no second chances, and the ones who survived were granted no respite. I sniffled again and clutched the cloth against my heart, slamming my eyes shut.

Blu… if Ronaldo is right… don't keep me waiting. If you are dead… like I feel you are… please help me… hold onto my sanity. If you don't… I'll just might kill myself… to end this pain… and be with you again…

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