Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters. I wish I could but I'm just here to write fan fiction.
Last Sunday consisted of me nursing a sick Marley on the train by ourselves this time because Brittany said she was staying with Santana for another two days. Once we got to the station Mrs Rose met us with a worried look that only grew when she saw us approaching. Marley had a bad head cold but of course a mother would treat their child like they were severely ill. That led to me having the worst three days at school.
I basically just walked around school barely talking to anyone. I sat with the New Directions at lunch listening to them arguing over what to do for Regionals. We know it's coming up but Finn or Mr Schue have barely said anything about it. I did all my work and went to Cheerios practice. Brittany came back yesterday and she was her usually bubbly self. School wasn't as bad with her there but I still felt like something was missing even though Marley and I barely share any classes.
Today Mrs Rose drove into school at her usual early time while the Cheerios were practicing. Coach Sylvester let us do whatever we wanted for the last half an hour so I just sat talking to Brittany at the end of the field. I was almost ecstatic when I saw Marley getting out of her car with her cute newspaper boy hat. Brittany just laughed at me for having a huge grin on my face the rest of the morning. I don't really mind that she teases me because I love Marley and can admit that to her.
School went normally but then I finally saw Marley at lunchtime. We met up at my locker and walked to the cafeteria where her mom just smiled at us. I didn't mind sitting with all the Glee girls because Marley was sitting there beside me. They all accept us and I couldn't ask for a better group of people in my life. If anyone asks I would deny each and every one of them except Marley of course. They are great friends though. Look at you being all sappy.
They were talking about Regionals again but this time I actually pay a little attention. Well I only paid attention to whatever Marley said but it was more than I have before. She was so excited for Regionals because it gave her a second chance to perform on a stage. Mrs Rose always told me it was a dream of hers and I can't wait to be there when it comes true. There was this sparkle in her eyes whenever someone mentioned an idea that she liked and a shy smile would form every time.
"Hey you know what would be a good idea?" Wade says in excitement.
"What? All we can seem to come up with is me dancing to Blaine singing." Brittany says perking up at the mention of a new idea.
"And that was great idea of mine! He would win it for us by himself!" Tina defends and I just give her a weird look. Her crush is borderline creepy... Tell me about it, he is gay. He doesn't want her.
"I think Glee's cutest couple should sing a duet. Every year a couple sings a duet in a competition and we haven't this year. Just think about it, Finchel performed at Regionals in their sophomore year, Fabrevans performed at Sectionals when Quinn was junior and Tike sang together at Sectionals last year and Finchel performed again at Nationals in both years." Wade says with a growing look of joy spreading on his face.
"I totally have the perfect couple to sing it as well. Because I won't be there for Regionals and I can't win it for you, I'm really into that idea." Sugar says and looks straight at me. What did I say something?
I don't think so... Maybe she mean you dumbass.
I can't sing a duet by myself...
With Marley obviously! You are really stupid for a smart girl sometimes...
You just called yourself stupid you know.
At least I could get it the first time, you didn't.
You know what, just forget it.
What if I don't want to?
Oh, I'll make you...
"Oh okay update; Karley is performing a love song at Regionals. Alert the boys and we will start thinking of the perfect song." Wade claps his hands quickly while Brittany high fives Sugar.
"Really? I don't think I could perform in front of that many people Wade." Marley says quickly and starts playing with her hands on her lap.
"Of course you can girl! You. Are. Fabulous. Tina can get the solo while Brittany and Blaine lead the group performance. With us all in extravagant dresses dancing our butts off, we will win hands down ladies." I nod my head along with Wade and take Marley's hand in mine under the table.
"Wade is right. You could win us Regionals by yourself, never mind Blaine." I whisper gently into her ear trying to calm her down a little.
"So it is settled then because obviously you guys are the most adorable thing ever." Sugar winks at us while all the other girls are grinning madly until the bell interrupted us and we had to head to class.
The afternoon wasn't as aggravatingly long as the morning because I had Maths again. I don't really have to pay attention in that class and still get the top grade in this grade. Marley is always saying how she needs help with her homework and I try to help her. Of course we would work for like twenty minutes before one of finally gave in and started kissing the other. I'm pretty sure that Mrs Rose knows but doesn't mind as long as we keep the door open when she is home.
Last class of the day; Glee Club. I don't really mind having to go here most afternoons but because Cheerios practice was cancelled because Coach was scheming again I just want to go home. Mr Schue wants us to work on teamwork and he set up some singing battles with people who are 'feuding'. He and Finn gave us an example in the auditorium but it looked an awful lot more than an example. I could see awkward looks around the room and nobody really understood what was going on.
The bell went and we were free to go home; I may or may not have fist pumped. Marley just laughed at me and she hit me on the arm before going to leave. I put my bag on my back and followed her and slid my arms around her waist. She turns around and smiles at me before softly pecking my lips. I hear some awws behind us and turn to see Tina, Wade, Brittany and Sugar giggling. I took Marley's hand in mine and linked our fingers.
"Bye girls! See you tomorrow." I say with a fake sweetness to my voice and they all just laugh but me and Marley join them as we walk down the halls. There's no chance of anyone seeing us anyway so why shouldn't we have some fun when we can.
"Hey I have to go ask my Mom can I stay over tonight." Marley says and leads us towards the cafeteria doors where her mom will most likely be. I am glad she offered to come over after being off for a few days; especially today of all days. We walk in to the cafeteria and Mrs Rose calls us from the kitchen.
"Hey girls, is Glee club over already?" Marley hops up onto the counter and motions for me to sit beside her. I walk over and she quickly lifts me up to sit on her lap. Marley's mom looks at us and laughs.
"Yeah Mom, I just came to ask can I stay at Kitty's house tonight. You know 'cause I haven't seen her in ages and I love her so much that I can't stand to be separated and you would be a monster for keeping us apart for this long, so pretty please with a cherry on top can I stay over?" Marley asks really quickly and I'm impressed she isn't extremely out of breath. Mrs Rose gives me a weird look and I just shrug my shoulders.
"Well as long as you won't get up to any funny business." Mrs Rose gives me a slightly pointed look and I shake my head quickly which makes her smile. "I guess it is okay with me dear."
"Thanks Mom! I'm sure all we will be doing is watching sappy films and either crying with tears or with sadness." I turn around and smile at Marley and her cuteness. I give her a cheesy smile and she just pokes at my nose I stick out my tongue at her before leaping off her knees.
"Do you girls want to wit ten minutes so I can give you both a lift?" Her mom asks while chopping up some chicken into strips.
"No it's okay Mrs Rose. I passed Driver's Ed last month and my dad bought me a car yesterday before going to Europe for a month." I say and she looks up at me in surprise and I just smile sadly before Marley takes my hand and I interlock our fingers.
"Bye Mom. I love you!" Marley calls as we walk out of the cafeteria and towards the near deserted student car park at the side of the school.
"Wow I like your car Kitty. It suits you." I pull out the keys from my Cheerios jacket and open the passenger door for Marley like a chauffeur. I go around to my side and get in quickly enjoying the feel of the soft leather seats.
"I thought you might have liked it when I seen it in the drive way this morning. This new Audi A3 is pretty awesome according to some of the football guys. I don't really care because all I will be doing is driving you wherever you want to go." I say and start up the engine.
"In that case can we pretty please go get some ice cream?" I laugh at her and drive out of the car park heading towards town to get some ice cream for my lady.
We stop and buy ice cream at the local 7/11 to buy 3 tubs of ice cream and two types of popcorn. Buying popcorn led us to also buying Minstrels and Reese's pieces to put in it. It was like we were having a party but it wasn't that grand. I just wanted to spend the evening with my girlfriend eating junk food while watching sappy Romantic movies that has a crying girl and a strong guy that is too bad for her but they get together anyway despite what their parents think.
We start singing to 'Thrift Shop' and laughing at each other for knowing most of the lyrics while driving back to my house. Most people that drive by us would probably think we are crazy but whatever. Marley starts singing extra loudly while we are stopped at the traffic lights and an old couple looks at us like we have two heads. Driving down the street to my house the DJ starts to play 'Ready or Not' and Marley glares at the radio.
"Why is it that the best songs come one when you get home?" She says as I pull into my driveway.
"I don't know Marley but I know what you mean, this is a great song for a Disney star." I say before turning off the engine but leaving the radio still on.
"Hey don't say that! Look at all the famous people that started as Disney stars. There's Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez, and don't forget Britney Spears and Ryan Gosling." Marley argues and I turn of the radio because the song cut into an advertisement.
"I guess you are right because Britney is awesome and I loved Demi Lovato on the X Factor." I say before getting out of my car and going to open Marley's door for her.
"Thank you Kitty. Speaking of Ryan Gosling we should so watch The Notebook." Marley skips swinging the bags of ice cream as she runs to my front door waiting until I push it open.
"I'll go put the ice cream in your freezer Kitty and you can go get whatever DVDs you want to watch." Marley says before walking towards my kitchen.
"I'll go and get changed as well then. Come up and get changed yourself when you are finished." I call after her while walking up the stairs to my room. I pull out a pair of Cheerios track bottoms and a tank top, leaving my uniform hanging up. I pull out Marley's bag of clothes from my wardrobe that she left here for whenever she does stay over.
"Hey Kitty have you got the DVDs?" I go and get 'The Notebook' and show it to her while she puts her school bag at the foot of my bed. "By the way there is some kind of envelope or something with your name on it on the island. I didn't want to touch it just in case but you should go down and check it out." I furrow my eyebrows but Marley just shrugs at me.
As soon as I walk into my kitchen I see what she was talking about sitting in the middle of the granite countertop. There is a white envelope with my name written neatly on the front in a simple handwriting. Wait I would know that handwriting anywhere... I see it all the time in my room. My Dad tried to clear the house of it but I kept every piece of paper that I practised my joined up writing on just because it had that handwriting on it. It is my mom's...
I don't know what to think but I take a seat just in case because I can feel my knees shaking. I don't know how this could happen because it wasn't here before my Dad left for Europe. The only other person in the house would be our housekeeper but why would she have this? She wouldn't even remember that today is a special day without someone helping her, would she? I don't even know what to think about this, my Dad didn't even get me a card today.
I lift it into my hands slowly and it feels a lot heavier than I would have expected. I wonder what would be enclosed to make it heavier than an average card or letter. Marley has taken a lot longer than usual getting changed so I think I should go and check on her. I'm definitely not ready to open this yet; I don't think I could handle it right now. Marley could help me calm down before I try and open it. I walk up the stairs quietly and I hear soft humming drifting from my room.
"Marley, are you okay?" I open the door and see her sat on my bed changed writing quickly in a book.
"What?" Her head snaps up to look at me and she quickly shuts the book.
"I asked were you okay? What were you doing?" I walk into the room, still grasping the envelope tightly.
"Umm yeah I'm fine. I was just writing something down..." She says quickly and I walk over to sit on my bed beside her.
"Something hmm? Care to elaborate for me?" I smile at her because there is nothing she should be nervous or embarrassed about near me.
"I was just writing, songlyrics..." She mumbles at the end but I can still make it out pretty clearly.
"Song lyrics? Since when did you write songs Marley?" I ask trying to get her to not be so nervous about the subject.
"Well I've always written small parts off songs and got certain chords to play with them but I can never finish a song." She sighs and I just smile at her cuteness.
"Can I have a look? I'm sure they are amazing just like you." She reluctantly hands over her notebook and I open it at a random page. I start reading bits and pieces of songs and I really like them because they are lyrics you can relate to. That's what I love about some songs; how you can feel the emotions of the singer when you listen to it.
"That one is what I have been working on most of the afternoon in class. I got bored and thought of Wade making us sing at Regionals. I guess it just sort of flowed from my pen." She looks away shyly while I read over the first two verses and can tell what her muse was.
"You know this could be a really romantic duet if you wrote another verse or two. I could help you 'cause you know, duets are for two people." Marley looks up at me with a smile on her face and I lean in to kiss her softly. She cups my cheek in her hand and I snake my arms around her neck. I deepen the kiss before she pulls back for air.
"We will tell the girls in Glee about it tomorrow since it was their idea." I suggest after pulling my arms back and just resting my head against Marley's chest.
"We have the weirdest friends you know..." Marley says and I just laugh at her bluntness.
"Agreed. Do you wanna go watch that movie anytime soon? Or will we just sit here like this for the rest of the night?" I look up at her while biting my lip, feigning an innocent look.
"As much as I would love to maybe we should go downstairs." I'm glad she doesn't want to talk anymore because I can't handle the envelope and its contents right now. I just want the rest of today to go smoothly with a minimum of tears.
I jump up from the bed and offer Marley my hand to help her up. I throw in a little bow when she accepts my hand at which she just giggles. I love how I can just be myself with her and she doesn't judge me. We do all the cute couple stuff and act completely stupid around each other and we seem to fall more in love with each day. I gently set the envelope on the coffee table while I switch on the TV hoping Marley will just ignore it. I take 'The Notebook' out of its case and wait for it to load.
"I just brought in one spoon and your favourite flavour. The popcorn is in your microwave as well." Marley says as she walks in with the tub of ice cream and the bags of chocolate in her hands.
"Just press play and I'll bring in the popcorn now. I don't mind missing the start; it is a bit slow anyway. One bowl or two?" I walk towards the door and Marley holds up her hand showing one finger while pressing play on the remote.
I walk back in with the bowl of hot popcorn when the screen shows the older Allie watching the river from her window. I love the very first and the last scene of the film because of their sheer beauty. Of course the actors and the story make the film what it is because the scenery is just something else. After putting all the snacks on the table I finally get the chance to snuggle into Marley and enjoy the rare night that we have alone together.
After whispering some of the scenes to me or sharing glances or quick kisses with me during the cutest scenes, Marley speaks up. Noah was just explaining that he wrote a letter to her every day and after a year he gave up. I always find that so romantic of him even though she never got them till her mother gave them to her years afterwards, he never gave up on her.
"Kitty, what was that envelope about anyway? Was it just a letter because it looked a lot more special than that? It looked like one of Noah's letters; written with love as the only intention." I pause the film quickly and sit up.
"Oh, it was nothing... Can we just watch the film?" I say quickly pressing play again, sitting back on the couch creating some distance between me and Marley.
"Oh no we can't, there's something you aren't telling me. Did you even open it? Where is it now?"Marley takes the remote from my hand and turns the volume down to zero.
"Table." I say quietly and hang my head trying to calm myself down.
"Kitty this looks important. Why would someone send you something today anyway?" Marley asks me looking very impatient and I don't want to mess with her; she deserves to know the truth.
"Well today is, um my birthday. I turned 16 today." I say cautiously and look up quickly what Marley's reaction will be.
"Kitty!" She looks kind of mad but her face softens when she sees the look on my face. "Why didn't you tell me babe?"
"I don't know... I just never really celebrate my birthday anymore. My Dad always is away and just sends me more money or a present. That's why there is a brand new Audi A3 parked outside." I say looking up at her with a sad smile on my face.
"No one should have to spend their birthday alone Kitty. Who sent you a letter then if you don't celebrate your birthday?"
"Umm, well I sort of panicked when I worked it out because the handwriting on the front, it's my mom's." I look over to where the envelope is sitting and then back to Marley's bright blue eyes.
"Kitty you should open it, if not for yourself, for her." My vision blurs but I still lift the letter into my hands and turn it over, glancing up to Marley for support. She offers me her hand and I grip onto it tightly before opening up the back slowly. I gently turn it upside down and a pink flower patterned card with the number 16 on the front falls onto my lap.
"You can do this Kitty. I am right here for you, always will be." She places a gentle kiss on the top of my head and I open it up to see a small message inside. It says:
Dear my little Kitty,
Happy Sweet 16th, I can't believe you are almost an adult. I will always see you as that little eight year old running around the house singing and dancing. I wish I could see you now; I know you always had your father's eyes. Some things aren't always meant to be but I can still wish you a happy birthday. There's a letter enclosed with a better explanation of why you have this card.
I will love you always dear,
Mom xx
Hot tears are running down my face and I close my eyes to try and stop the stinging. I sniff quietly and feel Marley's grip tighten around my hand. I can't really believe I am reading this right now. I don't think that if I am almost sobbing over a card that I could handle reading a letter from her. It's just I haven't seen her face in years but I can still hear her voice in my head while rereading her words. I set the card on the table and lift the envelope up again and sigh.
"Marley, I-I can't do it. I just can't." I stutter out and feel more tears fall down my flushed cheeks.
"Yes you can, your Kitty Wilde. And like you said yourself, a Wilde never backs down or gives up. All you have to do is read the letter; nothing will hurt you because you need the closure." Marley tilts her head and rests it on mine and I snuggle closer to her so I can actually feel her chest rising and falling.
She's right, you are Kitty Wilde. A letter can't hurt you.
But it can make me cry buckets.
I gently ease the paper out from the envelope and set the envelope on top of the card. It is just one sheet of paper folded in half with black ink written over it. She said it explains a lot more and after six years I have the right to know exactly what happened to my own Mom. My Dad never took the time to tell me anything from the time because he just worked his life away. Unknown to him I remember every visit to the hospital and every night I was kept up by the sound of tears.
While unfolding the paper a smaller piece of paper falls out onto my lap. Today's date is written in a small script at the bottom. I carefully lift it up and turn it over, a small whimper escaping my lips. I hear a small gasp from behind me but I am in shock. It is a small picture of me sitting with an ice cream sundae in my hands, sitting on my Mom's knee. We both have big smiles on our faces and I have a big pink badge that has the number eight on it.
"I remember that day. It was almost a month later I saw a change in her. The beginning of July was when she was admitted into hospital. It is the last day I remember being with her and we were all happy." I manage to choke out, a sad smile appearing on my face glancing back at our glowing faces.
"She looks really beautiful. You look like her except..."
"Except she has bright blue eyes. Just like yours. I hope yours never lose their sparkle like hers." I turn around to face Marley, looking into those eyes that are brimming with tears as well.
"As long as I am with you they won't." Marley leans in a kisses me gently on the forehead reassuring me and I decide to actually open the letter properly.
"I want to read it out loud so I know this is actually happening." I cough slightly becoming more nervous. I look to the top of the letter and begin to read it, Marley holding my hand again.
Dear Kitty,
Happy 16th Birthday. I know it will never be enough but I hope you had a great 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 15th birthday. It is horrible to think writing this that I won't get to see my one and only little girl grow into a woman. I guess it is just my time. I defeated the stupid disease the first time but I have never been the same. You knew that as well as me. It was only yesterday I found you in your room reading a book on first aid muttering to yourself the symptoms that I was showing. It was the most adorable thing. Sadly the best doctors in the country couldn't even help me and that's why I'm writing this letter.
I see the tear stains on the old page after the first paragraph and stop. Writing a letter like this to someone would break me in to a thousand pieces knowing that when they read it I would be gone. Only knowing part of what she actually went through I feel sorry that I wasn't there for her more.
I want you to do one thing for me Kitty. I don't want you to give up. I tried to get better for you Kitty but there was already too much damage done. I was very lucky to have those extra six months with you, even if I wasn't actually there. Just don't give up Kitty. There are so many people who will stand in your way but you are full of spirit and you will make it. I know you will and I will always watch over you.
I know you are only 16 now and your future is ahead of you but I'm sure sometime or maybe before when you read this letter you will have found someone you can relate to. Someone you trust with your life and would do anything for because you have fallen for them. Being my daughter I do know you Kitty and I'm sure the girl will make you happy. She will have a fun time bringing down your incredibly high walls but I'm sure that it won't be hard for' the one'.
"Wow she must be smiling to herself in heaven." I say shaking my head wondering why I ever doubted her.
"She is your Mom Kitty; of course she knows these things. And she was right about those damn walls." Marley says with a sad smile on her face; a few tears running down her face.
"A Wilde is never wrong." I say to myself and wipe away the fresh tears falling from my eyes.
Now don't be surprised because I know all about the time Lauren White kissed you under the slide in the park and you couldn't keep the smile off your face for a whole week. You were never good at hiding your diary, dear. I remember you always said you could play Glinda in Winked because you thought Elphaba was the prettiest girl ever and that's what she thought as well. Apparently Fiyero came and ruined it. I will love you always Kitty so don't feel ashamed of yourself. I don't care who you are because you are, and will always be my daughter.
It is the little things like seeing that smile on your face or hearing your voice echoing from your room when you sing to whatever musical soundtrack you assigned for that day. Today you would be singing from 'West Side Story' because it's a Saturday. You had perfected your South American accent by then, but that music stopped a while back and it's all my fault. The last time I heard you sing was the week before your eighth birthday when we went to New York to see 'Wicked' for the second time. I hope you find your voice because your father always described our duets as 'Wicked'.
The last thing I want to say Kitty is don't regret anything you do in life. It all happens for a reason. Forgiveness is the key to a relationship so that's why I am saying I am sorry. I am sorry for not being there. I am sorry for you not getting the closure you needed. I am sorry for not getting to see your first day of High School and you getting to be a cheerleader. I am sorry for everything but I hope you will look past it.
It is one of my last wishes; that you won't feel ashamed of me for giving up or mad for not being there. Your father called earlier saying that you both couldn't make it in because the snow is too thick on the roads. He said to hold on and you both will be there in the evening. I don't think I can though Kitty. It is a struggle for me to write this letter to you right now. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me for not being there with you. But I will always be somewhere close at hand watching you.
I pray that everything will be okay but I can't be sure of that dear. I hope I have done my job as a mother to leave you with something to believe in. I want you to believe in love because the greatest love will always come through. I will always love you Kitty but I have to go now, it's what God has planned.
I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye.
All the Love in the world, Emily Wilde xxxx
By the end I am crying freely, not having the strength to hold it back. Marley pulls me into a tight hug letting me cry it all out but I can feel the tears running down her face as well. She soothes me with gentle words and I try to focus on my breathing. Every sentence retrieved a long lost memory; something that could not be harmed but could only harm me. Just thinking that she wrote this letter while I was complaining to my Dad about not getting to see in the morning made me cry even more. She said she tried to stay for that while longer but it was just her time.
"I-I remember my Dad taking me to the hospital that freezing night to find her sleeping in her room. The doctors said I couldn't wake her up; n-not even my tickles could work. When my Dad explained she would never wake up I felt like, like something left me. A part of me went with her." I look up at Marley with teary eyes and wipe away a tear falling from her face.
"But I found that part again. It came back when I met you. And for that, I know my Mom would love you." I lean up to kiss her slowly on the lips. I set the letter on the table and look at the small picture for a last time. I cuddle into her side, her arm wrapped around me as we both fall into a peaceful sleep watching as the birds on the screen fly off together.
A/N: Well that was intense I guess... I wasn't sure if it wasn't deep enough or held any emotion to it so PLEASE review! I want to be able to write different genres instead of just the cute stuff.
I hope this update was worth the slightly longer wait but I'm sorry, I had a History essay :( Teachers don't understand we have other things to do...
Make sure to read ToDieWouldBeABigAdventure's story "If You Fall, I'll Catch You"! She is one of the nicest people ever! ANd her story is amazing!
Thank you for all the amazing reviews and follows/favourites! You are all perfect! PM me if you ever just want to talk! Bye :)