Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy Isaiah would be right, Patrick Dempsey would be late to set a lot. Because he'd be busy. With me.

Sorry this took a bit to get up. It was Canada Day here in Canada (which well where else would it be Canada Day?) so I had a party at my house to celebrate and then went out Sunday with friends and then again Monday. So I've been ever so busy and it left me ever so tired. So I owed you guys one…so here's half an update, lol. I cut this in half so I could at least get something up tonight.

Enjoy!

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I.

Hated.

Hotels.

I shifted on the bed as I stared at the television screen, watching CNN of all things. Because nothing else was on at six o'clock in the morning. I didn't have to work today, but the stupid internal clock that had been installed during my internship had woken me up at five. And I hadn't been able to fall back asleep on the cement slab the hotel I was staying at called a bed. I missed my king sized bed in the trailer.

I missed the queen sized bed in Meredith's room.

It had been a week since she had invited me to spend the night there and it had been agreed that it was just the one night for now.

But hell, I had slept well that night.

I closed my eyes and hoped to god sleep would come. I had nothing to do today, and I knew from experience that waking up this early with nothing to do led to a very long day. So sleep, I needed sleep.

My eyes popped open as I heard the key beep in the doorway. Which made absolutely no sense, I had only given one person a key…

And there she stood, looking nervous in my door way.

I really had to stop giving her keys.

"Hey," she smiled shyly, heading forward to join me on the bed. She looked good today, her hair falling in waves around her face, wearing the Dartmouth shirt I loved so much, and jeans that hugged her ass perfectly.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't stop giving her keys.

"Hey," I smiled, watching as she crawled onto bed and sat beside me. On her side. Or what would have been her side if we actually shared the bed.

"You're up early," she sighed, kicking off her shoes before climbing under the covers.

"Which apparently was a good idea as you're here early," I laughed.

"I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep," she shrugged. "I thought maybe you could help."

"I was just thinking the same thing," I smiled. "Do you want something more comfortable to wear?"

"Nope, I'm good," she sighed, settling closer to me.

"I'm good too," I smiled again, even though my head was spinning ever so slightly. Five minutes ago I had been lying in bed alone and thinking of Meredith and now she was curled up beside me. I wasn't one hundred percent sure how it had happened but hell, I'll take it. Lavender now filled the room, and her tiny warm body was pressed tightly against me. She was always warm, my own personal heater.

And definitely starting to feel like mine again.

My eyes were starting to drift close as she suddenly moved in my arm. "I can't stop thinking."

"Thinking does not equal sleeping," he groaned.

"You were up anyway when I got here, you don't get to moan about me keeping you up," she giggled.

"Okay, fine," I nodded, hugging her tighter. "What are you thinking about?"

"Susan."

Oh, serious thinking about real things. Not fun thinking about how good my ass looked in my pyjama pants, really thinking. But that was okay, I could take thinking. It meant communicating. Communicating was good.

"What about Susan?" I asked quietly.

"She was…she was a good fake mom. She was more of a mom than my mom actually ever was," Meredith whispered.

"She was a good fake mom," I agreed, wondering where she was going with this.

"I didn't get to say goodbye," she breathed. "She was okay, things seemed okay and then it all spiraled out of control. And then there was…well, that stuff happened. I never got to say goodbye. I never got to say thanks."

"She wasn't looking for your thanks, Mer," I said gently.

"I know," she nodded. "I just, I wanted to say goodbye. She was…she cared about me, Der. Me. The other daughter, the one that wasn't hers and yet she cared."

"She loved you, Mer," I whispered. "Lots of people love you."

"I know," she nodded, and something about the way she said it, the way she felt in my arms told me she was smiling. "She would have wanted me at the funeral…I think."

"She would have."

"Maybe…I was thinking and actually this is…I came over for this. Well yeah, the bed thing but actually because…they buried her, she has a grave and maybe…I should go see it, say goodbye. To the stone which is silly but it feels… I think I should do this."

"It's a good idea," I assured her, pressing a soft kiss on the back of her neck.

"And you should come with me," she said quickly.

Relief rushed through my body, and I hadn't even been aware I had been holding worry in. This was something Meredith could do alone, this would make sense for her to do alone. But she didn't want to. She wanted me there, without me offering, without me suggesting, she just wanted me to be there. To say goodbye to the one motherly figure that had shown her love. She didn't want to be alone anymore.

"I'll come with you," I nodded.

"You sure?" she said, worry suddenly in her voice. "I know I said, but you don't have to. You're not my boyfriend and you're busy and I know you have today off, but you probably have stuff. And you just…don't feel you have to; I don't want to…you just don't have to go."

"Mer…"I cut her off. "Rambling…adorable but not needed. I'm going."

"Okay," she nodded slowly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. You want me there, I'm there," I sighed.

"Okay," she nodded, and I could tell the smile had returned to her face as I pulled her closer again.

"But first we sleep."

You may need me there

To carry all your weight

But you're no burden I assure

You tide me over

With a warmth I'll not forget

But I can only give you love

So there isn't actually much to say. Derek was missing her and then she was there because she missed him too. And he keeps giving her extra keys because who else would he give them to? They try to sleep but she's too busy thinking and everything plays out from there. And yeah, Derek is really happy because she's now letting him in with out his urging. Which is good.

And I'll update tomorrow, hopefully in the morning.

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