Gursan sat on his bunk listening to the snoring and heavy breathing of the soldiers in broken cadences throughout their large dorm style tent and read his datapad while the small lamp above him feebly threw light around his shoulders. Hoping to find any insights into the Cathar courting rituals he downloaded anything with a remote reference to the subject from the HoloNet, and all he had been able to determine in nearly two hours of searching documents translated into Basic on the subject was that it was elaborate display of both physical and intellectual strength.
Well, I guess I've already the failed the intellectual portion of this, he thought to himself.
In an article entitled 'Societal Anthropology of the Cathari', which only partially translated from Catharese into Basic, he found a little information that helped bring perspective to the importance of the courting ritual and something that explained an aspect of their relationship he hadn't considered in any depth.
In the early sections of the writings that failed to translate he found a short sentence which resonated with what Major Jorgan had told him about the courtship serving to demonstrate a male's ability to be a good provider with the kitlings he would sire, and the choice of a mate could range from simply the love of the suitor to the suitor's demonstration of their abilities as a skilled hunter and provider. This reassured Gursan that Major Jorgan did have his and Solasta's best interests in mind when he set him on this path.
Reading further into the document there was an especially in-translatable section that broke briefly into Basic, stating, '...demonstrating their abilities and individual prowess, gift exchanges, or...', and Gursan realized that they had already been putting on a display for each other during their combat training exercises. Whether they were on Solasta's ship or in the actual training hall, it seemed both of their competitive sides would swell and the controlled sparring would quickly escalate into very spirited matches that only ended when one of them could pin the other to the mat and force a submission.
On the days they sparred it didn't matter who had won, it was on those same nights they both were especially passionate and Gursan realized it was when they truly saw each other as equals that they were stronger together.
The giving of gifts seemed to be a combination of demonstrating both affection and ability to provide, which seemed pretty straightforward but a reference to another ritual caught his eye, the 'Skha ya Zhdеstvo Shi'tari Lem', and searching for articles on this he found equally poorly translated material. What he could find translated spoke of a ritual named the Rite of Genesis that was performed when presenting newly born kitlings to the rest of the pride and guests would also present small gifts from the earth as a symbol of continued health and prosperity for the new family.
Gursan then understood that the gifts needed to prove to Solasta that their future would be based on the material possessions for building a life together and not the immaterial possessions that could be bought or sold with credits.
Skimming down the pages of broken text and many notations of *No Translation Available* he found a short, perfectly translated, paragraph that stated, "…it isn't unheard of for the Cathar to pair sexually with more than one partner, but it was only upon the choosing of a partner for the soul-binding ritual that the life commitment is made. The choice to only mate with a partner who would also become one's life-mate is a profoundly personal decision and reflects one's commitment to the Cathar values of self-worth, loyalty, and pride."
He knew that in her youth, Solasta had promised herself to another and despite the tragic loss of her suitor she had remained chaste until that night on Odessen when they joined together, making the importance of that act clearer. Solasta's decision wasn't purely a surrender to physical desire, she had sacrificed— no, she honoured me with sharing a deeply spiritual and philosophical part of herself with me, thought Gursan. A realization rose in his mind with the speed and veracity of a floodwater that Solasta wasn't yet completely bound to him. The small part of his subconscious that quietly believed they shared a bond that made a resolution inevitable was awakened and terrified at the new thought that perhaps Solasta's capacity to love hadn't automatically meant she had chosen him as a life-mate.
Major Jorgan was right, this did matter and he needed to prove himself worthy if he was to win Solasta back.
Satisfied he had a slightly better understanding of the ritual he turned out his light and settled for sleep. He would be up early the next morning to begin his courtship of Solasta, and despite there being not actual instruction on how to conduct himself he knew there would be some improvisation and could only pray it honoured his gesture in her eyes.
The next morning Solasta woke, got ready for her day, and stepping outside her tent she was immediately met with the sight of Gursan on one knee with his head bowed, and a small pile of ordinary looking pebbles on the ground in front of him.
Gursan had woke before dawn and rode his speeder to the caves they had taken refuge in months earlier during an unexpected downpour. In the dark cave, Solasta had noticed and commented on how beautiful the green and yellow luminescent glow the stones produced was, so he returned to collect handfuls of them. However in morning light they simply looked like ordinary stones. Gursan felt sickened with panic at the sight but remained steadfast.
Remaining perfectly still as the soldiers who stepped around him laughed or muttered rudely at him, Solasta approached and cocked her head from side-to-side to examine the stones and made a soft grunt noise before she walked through the pile and sprayed them all over the walkway and Gursan, as she continued on her way to the mess tent for breakfast.
Arriving at the Command Center Gursan handed Solasta a caffa and her datapad, only saying, "Three new messages from Odessen requesting updates and one message from Miss Calypso, sir."
Solasta sat and glanced quickly over the three intel requests and opened Calypso's message, which simply read, "Seriously? That wasn't very helpful, Miss Dinn." and Solasta let out a quiet trill of laughter before setting to work on her reports.
The seasons on Zakuul were changing and the sun seemed to hang lower in the sky during the day and twilight crept silently into camp earlier each night.
Solasta left the command center as the last light of day faded in camp and she wasn't entirely sure if the days felt shorter or if she had just worked longer, but the changing season seemed oddly appropriate for the shift in power with the Eternal Throne and the coming conflict with Vaylin.
Nearing her tent, Solasta's thoughts were interrupted by the sight of the green and yellow glowing stones that had been energized by Zakuul's sun throughout the day, and were spread into the laneway where she had kicked them that morning. Hugging her arms around herself, she gasped and recalled the day when they sat in the cave waiting for the rains to stop, how his naked body shivered as they made love, and how Gursan had told her the stones glowed nearly as brightly and beautiful as her eyes in the dark.
The second morning she woke up and stepping outside she found Gursan again, bowed on one knee and a larger pile stones of varied sizes and colours. Examining this pile, she nudged it with her boot so that a few stones became dislodged and rolled away. Again, Solasta grunted unimpressed before turning and walking around the pile.
The next four days Solasta left her tent in the morning to the same sight of Gursan on one knee with an assortment of coloured pebbles, feathers, and exotic fruits from the jungle, all arranged artfully in a gift offering. Each day she would stop to examine what he had brought her and make some sound to express how she judged the gifts before continuing on without saying a word to him.
Each day they spent together on-duty, not a single word was exchanged regarding the morning's offering and the strict military relationship between them never wavered. Gursan hadn't attempted any further contact with Solasta while they were off-duty, and secretly they both burned with a frustration as they pined to be with each other.
Early on the morning of the tenth day, Gursan sat on a log deep in the jungle and noticed a winged creature that vaguely resembled a Gwayo Bird, something he had encountered on a short peacekeeping mission to the planet Sakiya, flying from it's nest and decided he would climb the tree to see if it had laid any eggs he could present to Solasta.
Leaning his blaster rifle against the base of the tree, he pulled off his gloves and chest-piece in an effort to lighten himself before jumping the short distance to grab the nearest branch and pulling himself up, he carefully scaled the tree trunk until he reached the nest. Peering over the edge into the bowl constructed of mud, sticks, and lined with the owner's feathers he saw two first sized white shelled eggs dotted with large brown freckles lying on their sides. Shifting all his weight onto his left foot and using his right leg as a counter-weight to balance himself, Gursan stretched his hand inside and grasped one of the eggs before feeling himself jerk unexpectedly as the branch beneath his foot broke.
Gursan came crashing down in a cacophony of snapping tree limbs and groans.
The small plant that he landed on offered little cushion as he stared up at the sprawling and dense jungle canopy overhead thinking that he had hit every branch on the way down, and as painful as it was, he was thankful that it slowed his descent enough that he hadn't seriously injured himself when he met the ground. Blowing out a heavy breath, he relaxed and rubbed his fingers on his right hand together only to scowl at the feeling of broken shell and yolk oozing out of his palm. Turning his hand over and wiping it in the moss and dead-fall on the jungle floor he recalled Solasta's words from their last argument, '...what happened to the man I fell in love with?"
Solasta told me she loved me and I never thought to tell her that I love her too. Instead, I threw childish accusations of insecurity and possessiveness at her.
Once this had truly sunk in Gursan let go of the handful of earth he had involuntarily clenched in his hand and flexed his fingers to loosen the knots that had started to take hold when he heard rustling in the underbrush nearby.
Rolling quietly onto his stomach he narrowed his eyes and tried to focus on the direction the sounds had come from. After a few minutes a noticed an adolescent Bog Mawvorr approaching and snuffling the air, attracted by the smell of the broken egg that Gursan had just rubbed into the earth. Slowly pulling his knees beneath him, Gursan waited patiently for the Mawvorr to venture closer and lunged when they were within meters of each other.
Solasta left her tent in the morning to the same sight of Gursan and the large Mawvorr lying dead on a bed of leaves in front of him. Once again she stopped, twisting her head from side-to-side to examine his gift. Reaching down she took one of his hands and turned it over to look at the dried blood, raised red welts, and fresh gashes, proving that he had caught and killed it by hand.
Kneeling down to face him, Solasta kissed the deepest cut that ran jaggedly across his palm and whispered 'Sadis, [Thank-you,]' before standing and continuing to breakfast.
Gursan didn't move to raise his head or respond, and simply canted his head gently to her.
The next morning Solasta stepped outside her tent to the familiar sight of Gursan, but today there wasn't any gift or offering on the ground before him. Solasta approached and slowed momentarily when Gursan held out his hand, palm up and fist clenched. Solasta stopped and watched as Gursan slowly opened his hand to reveal a Pendant of Ro'ta that looked similar to the one she had given to Calypso month's before as a thank-you.
"What is this for?" asked Solasta.
For the first time since he had begun the morning ritual more than a week ago, Gursan raised his head and looked into her eyes. Solasta blinked and changed her gaze to avoid his direct stare.
"I want the apartment. To serve with you. To have as many litters of kitling's you want. I love you, Solasta." Clearing his throat, Gursa spoke slowly to makes sure his practiced pronunciation would be flawless, and asked, "Would you join with me in the Shka ya Nasa Ru'ta Ni Karryk? [Rite of Soul-binding]."
Solasta caught her breath and turned to walk away but Gursan stood and grabbed her by the wrist, gently pulling her arm until she turned and faced him. Looking deep into Gursan's emerald eyes she could see his conviction but her heart ached and she fought to hold back the mewling cries that threatened to let loose. So many years ago she had accepted the nature of things, that alone she would live and die as a Republic Soldier. Despite desperately wanting to hold Gursan, his behaviour on Odessen only reminded her of that truth she had convinced herself to believe.
Gursan's proposal caught her off guard and she hadn't considered this in any of her analyses of their relationship, and now without any tactics or planned defense she had to face her past and the cost it demanded might be more than she was willing to pay.
Unable to bear the look on Gursan's face, ears twitching she lowered her eyes and said, "Gursan, it's my turn to be honest..."