Author's Notes: Chapter twenty-one! Nyoko's birthday!

People, please take a deep breath and repeat after me: "Naruto is not hooking up with anyone in Door Number Two. Naruto is not hooking up with anyone--anyone--in Door Number Two." Why? Because the child is too socially inept (even in canon) to pull it off, especially under these circumstances. I don't think being seventeen will have fixed that.

And please don't worry about the Naruto-being-a-Libra stuff. It was an attempt--one that apparently failed terribly--to give Hotaru some depth and bring her into Naruto's life more. You were never going to hear about it again anyway, and you'll certainly never hear about it again now.

Title: Door Number Two

Author: Reaper Nanashi (Lady Shinigami)

Pairing: None Intended

Word Count: 3,126

Type: Multi-Chapter (Work In Progress)

Rating: T (bad words, sexual innuendos, blood, violence)

Date Submitted: 3/10/07

Disclaimer: Nope.

Claimer: Genko, Byako, Shakko, Hotaru, Nyoko, Aya, Hitomi, Shinju, Akane, Takako, Tsukiko, Mimi, and anyone or anything relating to them is mine

Summary: Maybe it's a dream, maybe it's real. Naruto doesn't know how he got there, but he's not sure he wants to go home. Perhaps the little decisions aren't so little after all--one choice can change a life forever . . .

Chapter Twenty-One - Birthday

Arashi had been trained to know and make use of over two thousand methods of killing a human being. Being a first-time father trained him in the disturbing fact that babies knew over three thousand and were not at all shy about testing these methods on themselves. From teething on electrical cords to randomly sticking items into electric sockets to climbing onto the kitchen counter to play with freshly-sharpened cutlery to nearly ingesting a box of rat poison, Naruto had been a suicide case waiting to happen. Hotaru had not had anyone to turn to and his own mother had died not long after Naruto was born--she had always been upset that he had been 'taking so long' to have children and had refused to die until he provided her with a grandchild she could hold; he had thought she had been joking at the time--so they teamed up against him to keep him alive in the best ways they could devise and in the process Arashi came to appreciate the strength his mother had possessed to raise him all by herself when he had been having such trouble even as part of a close-knit tag team.

Nyoko had been much easier to deal with, mainly because Hitomi was so good at her job but also, apparently, because she was a girl. According to mothers he had spoken to, girls were just naturally quieter, cleaner, and better behaved. It turned out to be true, though instead of dying through electric shock she was trying to get killed by going outdoors by herself.

It was a never-ending battle for his sanity because he loved them so much and feared for them in a way he never quite had for the safety of his students or himself. He wanted to shield them from every possible harm and give them all the attention they could ever need, but even though he did everything he could it seemed to fall short so often . . .

"Boy or girl?"

"Eh?" Since they already had one of each, they had agreed that it would be fun to make the third one a surprise for even themselves. "Oh, well . . . Dunno. This one has a fast heartbeat and supposedly boys have faster heartbeats than girls, but Mikoto had one too and she's quite obviously not a boy."

"So which do you think it is?"

"Come on, Hotaru, I already have both. Gender hardly interests me."

"Well, guess!" she prodded playfully. "You've always known before, so why don't you guess and be wrong for once?"

"All right, all right . . . Boy. What do you think?"

"I don't know. I still haven't decided."

"Your celestial vibes or whatever aren't working out for you this time around, huh?" She pulled on a strand of his hair. "Ow."

"My celestial vibes have never told me anything of the sort for any of the children," she replied. "I'm trying to weigh pros and cons to find the lesser of two evils and haven't finished yet. The way things are going it's still going to be a while, too."

"It's nice to know you're looking forward to it," he said dryly.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I love you and our children dearly, but the journey to get them to an age where they can be reasoned with isn't exactly a particularly straight road. Please don't be angry with me."

He snuggled closer against her stomach. "I'm not."

It was the truth, too. While he enjoyed children of any age, Hotaru preferred them to be over five years. He had little doubt that she was uncomfortable around infants and though he did not know exactly why, he had a suspicion that it stemmed from her own childhood. That was something he did not ask about, though, because it was a private matter and because she did not ask about his assignments before he became Hokage--it was their balance.

". . . Arashi?"

"Mm?"

"I . . . I think something's bothering Naruto."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. He's just gotten really quiet and sober recently whenever he sees me."

Arashi lifted his head to look at her. "Have you asked?"

"I tried once, but he only said that he felt funny and didn't--or couldn't--elaborate." She shook her head. "Whatever it is, it seems to have increased by ten just today. That's part of the reason why I came here. When I left he was trying to play with Nyoko and he was smiling, but his eyes looked very sad and confused. I don't think he's trying to hide it--he just doesn't know what it is and thus can't explain it."

"I'll try to get out of here early and take him down to the field for training. I'll see if I can figure it out."

"Arashi, he was very open with me. I don't think you'll have to force it out of him."

"I know. I'm not going to beat on him."

That plan failed, however, and Arashi sighed heavily as he meandered home through the building twilight. He had really been looking forward to training with Naruto--when they fought after that first month of Naruto's solo training he had been both very impressed and very proud even though he mercilessly whipped the boy every fight--and was glad he had told Hotaru not to mention it, because he did not want to have to see the disappointment. He had no doubt Naruto would understand--Naruto had been surprisingly understanding since his accident, really--but he did not want him to have to understand. He's still just a boy, no matter how accomplished a ninja he's become.

The trees ahead rustled softly and he paused as the subject of his thoughts stepped out of the trees to watch the sun set. Naruto did not seem to know he was there, which afforded him the opportunity to see his son's behavior when there was no one around.

He looks . . . melancholy.

". . . Naruto?"

The boy's face, if it was possible, grew even more upset upon seeing him. Despite that, he lifted his arms for a hug. Arashi grabbed him and hefted him like he was half his age, settling his firstborn on his arms as he detoured to the cliff edge to get away from the ANBU waiting in the trees still. He did not think going home was a good idea at the moment; if Naruto needed to talk he would surely be more open outdoors. He felt Naruto hook his arms around his neck and hide his face in the upturned collars of his vest and coat. The boy's body deflated and grew heavier as he relaxed and minor adjustments were made to keep his weight evenly balanced. Whatever was bothering him must have been huge, because despite his state of ease his frame still sang with the tension of a drawn bowstring.

Arashi said nothing, though, and stopped at the edge of the cliff, quietly watching the sun set and bearing his son's weight. Naruto would speak when he was ready--not a moment before--and Arashi would wait patiently for that time, even if it took all night and day and even if his arms fell off from holding him. Roughly an hour passed that way and the sun was just touching distant mountains when Naruto mumbled something into his neck.

He shifted slightly to put more of their combined weight on the balls of his feet and asked casually, "What was that?"

Naruto sighed into his father's neck as he realized he needed to say this. Needed to say it and look at the one he was speaking to so he could anticipate a reaction. Besides that, he wanted to know what it felt like to say it, as he was unsure he would ever have a chance to again if he was able to go back where he belonged.

He lifted his head and looked at his father hesitantly. ". . . I love you, Dad." There was a long pause as he was regarded curiously before being gifted with a soft smile.

Arashi had not expected such a declaration, as Naruto had never really been particularly demonstrative previously, but it made those instances where he did say it that much more special. He moved Naruto's weight to one arm and lifted the other, brushing his thumb gently over his son's cheek and smearing the concealer that hid the three pencil-mark whiskers.

They really are cute.

"I love you too, Little Fox."

The way Naruto's face relaxed and then broke into a relieved smile was an extra reward. The twelve-year-old--still so very much a child--leaned in to hug his neck once more and he pressed a kiss to the whiskered cheek as he watched the rim of the sun sink behind the mountains so that the stars could come out to play. They stayed there for another half-hour before he decided to suggest going home, but Naruto was apparently not done talking quite yet.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

He pulled away so they could look at one another. ". . . I feel weird."

This is probably the same thing Hotaru mentioned. "Weird how?"

"Whenever I see Mom or Nyoko or both of them together . . . I hurt here." Naruto freed a hand to touch his own chest lightly.

"What kind of hurt? A squeezy kind?"

"No, like . . . like I'm alone."

Arashi did not know what to say at first. He did not want to ruin Nyoko's birthday party for Naruto by explaining everything, but asking to be allowed to put it off would sound like he was trying to avoid it. It's about Nyoko's infancy, I'm positive. What wonderfully ironic timing. What do they say in Claw Country? "Think not of a tiger, lest the thought bring it to you"? I never thought that kind of thing actually happened . . .

Of course, he could always have said he had no idea what it was, but that would leave Naruto feeling even more isolated.

Finally, he came up with a solution. ". . . Naruto . . . I think I know what that feeling is. I can explain it to you if you like, but it might disrupt Nyoko's birthday for you. If you want me to tell you now I will, or I can tell you after Nyoko's in bed."

"Mm . . ." Naruto's eyes unfocused and began to shift back and forth, as if looking at things only he could see. His expression changed and his mouth moved as if he was speaking, but it was not enough to discern words. After a moment of this, he refocused on Arashi. "Okay. I don't want Nyoko to be upset if it does bother me. I'll wait."

I guess asking him about the evaluation session will have to wait, too. Arashi registered the approach of the ANBU guard and Naruto twitched an instant before Rat landed on the side of the tree nearest them. "Hokage-sama, it's Lady Hotaru."

Considering her tone, there was no emergency. Hotaru was calling them in. "I wish she'd listen to me about not using you all like accessories."

"Owl volunteered, actually. She was apparently growing concerned about your absence."

"Oh, all right. That's different." He swung Naruto around behind him into a piggy-back position and set off for the house. "By the way, will you and Owl be joining us?"

"Thank you, Hokage-sama, but we can't."

Having expected a polite denial--it was a part of the general training, after all--he added with devious innocence, "That's too bad. Since my students are going to be there, Hotaru was going to let everyone touch the baby."

The air around them shifted to annoyance.

Bingo. Man, I love messing with these people.

"Are you sure you can't?" he offered again. "The more the merrier."

"I'm sure, Hokage-sama. Thank you, though."

"All right, but if you change your mind, don't hesitate to come inside."

Hotaru met them at the door. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," he assured her, letting Naruto down by the lounge. "Naruto and I had a little talk. We're still not done, but it can hold until after the party." She tilted her head in question and he shook his a bit as Naruto stared with wide eyes at the lounge full of people and kids he had never seen before. He backed up into Arashi's side and Arashi draped an arm over his shoulder to pat his chest reassuringly. "It's okay, Naruto. They're family."

Naruto grabbed his arm reflexively, squeezing it nervously. "All of them?"

"Yes."

Naruto hated crowds--they had used their numbers against him before. He also could not grasp the idea that so many people were family. To him, a family was more just parents and their children rather than aunts and uncles and grandparents and friends, too.

He had apparently said the last bit out loud, because the Fourth said, "Well, there aren't any grandparents here, nor any aunts or uncles. There are some friends in there somewhere, but you know all of them already."

"Then who are these people?!"

"Your sisters and brothers-in-law and nieces and nephews."

He gawked at the packed lounge again. "I don't even know them!"

"That's okay. I've already told them what happened. They don't expect you to know who they are, though I'm sure they'd be delighted if you did. They'll probably question you to death about how you're feeling, so be patient."

Naruto looked around the room again and thought of the people waiting for him in his home. But then, I guess, that's why, even if they're only friends, they're still my precious people. They're the closest thing to family I'll ever have.

"Nii-chan! Nii-chan, Nii-chan!"

He was still surprised at how easily he had gotten used to that term--Probably thanks to the other me.--and sought for the source. "You're a familiar face," he told Nyoko, crouching to pick her up. "Wow, you're all dressed up, aren't you?"

"Mm-hm! It pretty?"

He brushed her dark locks back. She definitely took after their mother in that regard. "It's very pretty, and so are you."

She grinned and hugged his neck.

"There he is!" a woman deep in the room announced. "Papa!"

"Papa!" several other women chorused happily.

Naruto ducked behind his father as a gaggle of women ranging from eighteen to twenty-eight years old rushed forward to overwhelm the Fourth with hugs and kisses. He laughed, returning all the affectionate gestures and greetings he received as quickly as he could. "Okay, wait, wait! Who haven't I kissed yet? . . . Well don't just stand there like a lump--come here!"

Hotaru reached down and took Nyoko from Naruto, who did not view this as a good sign. Sure enough, the Fourth turned and grabbed him, dragging him around and placing him directly in the path of all his adopted sisters who, to his horror, smiled brightly.

"It's Naruto!" they squealed, descending on him all at once.

He tried to squirm to freedom, but even only holding him with one hand, his father had him trapped. "Now wait," the Fourth said, putting his other hand out to stop the women. "You can't smother him like that. He's nervous around people he doesn't know. Line up and meet him one at a time."

They obeyed, offering their names and a hug. He did not like it initially, but started to feel that they did care about him. It helped a great deal that the Fourth was there behind him, both watching his back and providing something strong for him to lean against.

You're still a pussy, Kyuubi snorted, ruining a perfectly nice moment. I thought you said you'd quit this after training.

I never said I'd quit it, Fox-bastard. Besides, even if I had, this isn't a battle situation. For once in my life I have someone I can run to--it's a nice feeling.

You're such a child.

Naruto hissed. No fuck, stupid fox! When did you first notice?!

Once his adopted sisters got the chance to cuddle him, the party went on. From the way things looked, the people he knew had been placed strategically around the room so that he did not have to feel isolated. The fact that none of them seemed to be curious when he showed up more than once in the span of ten minutes only proved it. Not to his surprise, he gravitated more toward Kakashi and Jiraiya whenever the Fourth left his line of sight. Kakashi in particular--Jiraiya was far too busy gawking at the women--was very accommodating with his disrespect for personal space.

Finally, though, he braved his dislike of crowds and wandered into the room alone, since they were not going to hurt him. This turned into a rather enlightening occurrence, since he got to meet many brothers-in-law whose careers ranged from ninja to doctor to shopkeeper, as well as a small selection of nieces who were actually five months to two years older than he was--all of those had been born before his father had taken the young mothers in. He had thought they might be bitter about it, because they would technically be required to obey him since he was considered their uncle even though he was so much younger than them, but fortunately all of them were girls--girls seemed to take authority issues a little better--and they apparently found the entire situation more amusing than he did.

He also got hit on a lot, both in jest and seriously, which was a weird experience in both cases. Kyuubi had to remind him several times that these women were not actually related to him by blood or even legally, aside from his father's word as the Hokage. There was nothing stopping him from at least flirting back, which he decided to do after a little bit with the older kids and his 'sisters', just for the sake of fun. The young girls were quite scary, though, because roughly half of them claimed they were going to marry him when they grew up and when their competition overheard these declarations, catfights kept developing.

"What are you doing to them?" the Fourth asked curiously, rescuing him from the middle of yet another tiff.

"They all want to marry me!" he cried. "I'm not doing anything, aside from existing!"

His father chuckled and he glared back. "You'll be okay. It'd probably be better if you kept your distance from them, though, so this doesn't keep happening."

"Gladly!"

"You can't have him!" Nyoko barked suddenly from her place in Hotaru's arms, drawing the attention of the room's occupants. "He's my nii-chan, 's my berfday, and I'm gonna marry him!"

To Be Continued . . .

Answers To Questions You Didn't Even Know You Wanted To Ask:

I can't ask my parents how true it is because they only had three girls, but apparently, baby girls are supposedly easier to take care of than boys. This makes sense to me. Nothing against boys, but they're just more active and whatnot, I guess.

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Also, a baby boy is supposed to have a faster heartbeat than a girl, but my friend's parents thought she was a boy before she was born because she had a fast heartbeat.

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Enter: Angsty!Naruto. Fortunately, it's temporary.

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I don't have Naruto's stats on hand, but if I remember correctly he weighs about ninety pounds (forty kilograms) as a twelve-year-old. This is a lot of weight to hold, I agree, but not only is it safe to assume that ninja strength-train--so they can hold more weight for longer--it's often shown that they use their chakra to enhance their strength (Tsunade and, later, Sakura are the best examples). So I did take Naruto's weight into account--I just cheerfully disregarded it thanks to canon.

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I think the original proverb is: "Think not of a tiger, lest you bring one to you by the thought." Either way, it's from India, if I remember correctly. I take no credit.

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I've said it before, but I'll say it again to be clear: No, Naruto is not going to get together with anyone, male or female, even if they hit on him.

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Reviews are very much appreciated, thank you.

--RN (LS)