MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
*crickets*
Eh...heh...I'm a bit late, I see. This is the amazing codegal's Secret Santa gift for the FLOL gift exchange that is tragically late, obviously. I was so super excited when I got her and her hilarious prompts (hard, sword, and cream xDDD), but the fates were against me!! *shakes fist at the powers that be* So, ready for my sob story, code? Here ya go. I was SO proud of myself because I actually finished this far ahead of the deadline. But then my computer flipped out on me. Just...poof! Gone were all my fanfics. Besides this, I had almost a dozen unfinished drabbles, 3 other Christmas fic gifts, my almost finished chapter for my chapter fic, all gone. Thankfully most of my finished stuff and the novel I'm sort of off and on working on (mostly just to see if I can actually write and finish one xD), are all saved to various flash drives and floppy disks. Of course I didn't have the presence of mind to save my most recent stuff when the gods got bored and decided to throw a few lightning bolts my direction.
Okay, fine. I can deal with that. I can rewrite stuff. No biggy. It's Christmastime, and you pretty much have to run over me with an 18-wheeler to get me out of the Christmas spirit once I'm entrenched in it. We're going into no man's land for the holidays (aka "Internet? That some kinda new-fangled fishin' methodologies, sonny?"), but we're coming back to home and internet on New Year's Day, so I'll have time to rewrite this and get it posted just before the deadline. But fate isn't done with me. We get iced in. But that's not enough. So it snows too. Joy. I mean, love snow. I'm CRAZY about snow and it looks beautiful outside! But not when it's keeping me from giving Christmas presents!! Rawr, rawr *throws things*
Oh yeah, I'm still here in no man's land. But my cousin was fiddling with my computer a few minutes ago, playing solitaire or something, and discovered the condo has wireless. Yup. I've had internet the whole freaking time. My wireless was disabled. My cousin is twelve years old and got me internet with two clicks of the mouse. I feel like a moron xD
ANYway, I'm SO sorry codey!! And what's worse is this is just isn't near as good as my original. I just don't do well with rewrites AT. ALL. I know there's a whole bunch of poo I forgot and it....okay, well I stop whining. I hope you and everyone else enjoys it anyway!! And I'll try to get around to rewriting my other gifts eventually DX
Hard Swords and Cream at Christmas Time
:
:
:
Ichigo was getting fed up with his masochistic ways. He really needed to stop taking this route home from school and torturing himself. He paused in front of the white-washed brick building and sighed as he looked through the window.
She was so beautiful. So bright. His fingers ached and twitched with longing to run their tips along her smooth body. If just given the chance he could play her till she screamed sweet, sweet music. She was so close to him; just an inch or so of glass separated them, displayed temptingly in the pawn shop's window. And yet there seemed to be a great, yawning canyon separating him from his love.
He couldn't believe nobody had gotten her since his futile infatuation had begun. Brown eyes narrowed and glared through the thick glass at the mocking yellow price tag bound round her slender dark brown neck. There she was in beautiful, glossy colors of the sunset, a Gibson SG Standard. Ichigo's dreamgirl of electric guitars.
Hunching down into his coat collar and shoving his hands into his pockets, he forced his feet to move and turn him away from his tragic love and kicked at a small pile of snow. Not only did he not have the money for it, he didn't have the time for it, what with being the town's only worthwhile shinigami – heaven forbid Soul Society be competent and efficient for once by actually providing a decent rep so he could do something like, oh, say, life or something – and then there was the whole needing to eventually graduate thing. There was no way he could find time to play the thing.
He took a deep breath, watching the small cloud form and dissipate as his warm breath hit the freezing air. Dissipating like his dreams… Ichigo rolled his eyes at himself and growled, again forcing himself to take steps away from the pawn shop when a gentle voice calling out to him stopped him.
Speaking of things he didn't have time for. Or courage either, if one was to be honest with oneself. But why be honest when one could just as easily live in comfortable denial?
"Kuro – uh, Ichigo-kun!"
Pushing his crazy thoughts out of his idiotic head, he turned and smirked at her mistake. After the war he'd insisted on her calling him by his given name. It had seemed silly to be formal after all they'd been through together, although she wouldn't budge on tacking on the honorific. But then that meant he'd have to return the gesture. Which was surprisingly difficult because saying her name turned him into some kind of blushing, nervous, hormonal teenager. "Hey, Orihime…" Yup, there it was. The blush creeping up his neck. The nervous shifting. The involuntary glance to the soft curves below her white scarf and the collar of her light green pea coat. Super.
She stood before him, looking up at him with those big grey eyes, her lush caramel hair flowing over her shoulders, her cheeks pink from the cold…cheeks that seemed to be getting redder. He eyed her coat critically, assessing its aptitude to do its job of keeping her warm. Just when he was about to say something, her eyes widened at something behind him and she rushed over to press her white gloved hands against the glass window of the pawn shop. "Wow! So pretty!"
Ichigo huffed. "She's not pretty, she's fu – er, freaking awesome."
She giggled and glanced back at him, her eyes sparkling. "She?"
He coughed awkwardly. "Er, it. It is freaking awesome. Cause it's not a she. It's a piece of wood. Mhm."
"A really beautiful piece of wood." She turned fully to him with a little twirl, her hands clasped behind her back. "Is this what you want for Christmas, Ichigo-kun?"
The way her thick hair swung around with her, all of it now draped over one shoulder, was kind of mesmerizing… "Uh…um, yeah, but…well, I don't have time for it anyway."
She stepped towards him, her sympathetic eyes blinking up at him. "Ichigo-kun, you know I-"
"No," he said, cutting her off abruptly. "Absolutely not."
She sighed softly and nodded. After the war and when life had returned to something akin to normal, she had felt him fighting with hollows and had quickly run off to help him, immediately shattering one with Tsubaki and protecting Ichigo with her shield from a cheap shot that almost sliced his back open. He'd been grateful, sheepish, and way too protective of her, insisting that she never do that again. He can handle it he'd said – to which she'd held back a rare sarcastic comment along the lines of oh really, so that wasn't you that was about to be cut up into tiny pieces and made into shinigami Chex Mix for four hollows. Must be mixing you up with the other orange-headed, teenage grim reaper I'm in love with. Well, without that last bit, of course.
She doesn't need to be putting her life at risk like that, he'd said. She was a valued healer, he'd said.
One of these days she'd convince him to let her help him out on the battlefield with more than just healing his wounds. For now, she needed to find other ways to smooth out the stress bunching up his face and lighten the dark circles under his eyes.
She glanced back at the guitar. And the wheels in her head started turning…
"Well," he started, interrupting her thoughts. "It's freezing out here, come on, I'll walk you home."
"Oh, no, thank you, but you don't need to do that. Actually, I have quite a bit of Christmas shopping to do before I go home."
"Lemme help you then."
She smiled and wagged her finger at him. "Oh no, you can't go along with me Christmas shopping. You might see something you're not supposed to!"
"Hey, whoa, you shouldn't get me anything for Christmas."
"It's not a matter of whether or not I should, it's a matter of I want to."
Orihime grinned as he grumbled and shifted. "Fine, whatever." He looked down at her with doubt in his eyes. "You sure you'll be okay shopping by yourself?"
She put on her best tough-girl face and held up her hands kung-fu style. "Don't worry about me, Ichigo-kun. Black belt, remember?"
The corner of his mouth lifted into half of a smile, shaking his head slightly. "You're pretty amazing, you know that?"
Orihime felt her smile falter and more of that pesky red color inflamed her face. "I…um…" Now she was the one shifting in her light green boots. "No, I'm not really… I…well…I better get going so I can finish before the stores close." Finally she managed to look back up at him, his face a deep red. She frowned in concern. He must be facing the chilling wind. "You should get home before you freeze out here."
"Uh…" Ichigo scratched the back of his head, flustered by what had come out of his own mouth and a little unsure of what to do when suddenly she grabbed his arms, easily spun his taller body around and gave him a hard push.
"Go on. I'll be fine and I'll see you tomorrow!"
He turned and blinked after her as she spun on her heel and skipped away from him. Ichigo shook his head and headed off towards home after two final looks at girl and guitar.
Two days later Ichigo noticed Orihime was particularly gleeful…and Tatsuki kept flashing grins at him…Chad was tossing him random thumbs up…Ishida…well, Ishida was his usual stuck up self. Ichigo scowled at their strange behavior, but then shrugged it off as a case of Christmas Spirit. Something he was feeling very low on at the moment. Last night he'd taken his usual torturous route past his Gibson guitar only to find it was missing from the window. His heart sunk to his shoes and without thinking he had rushed in and searched the small shop, but she was no where in sight. He asked the bored, gum-smacking clerk, and the girl said she'd sold it last night.
Like a five-year-old, he'd moped and pouted all evening, mourning that he couldn't even live in his fantasy world of someday getting it. The maybe had crashed and burned into a never, sucker.
"Nice doodle."
Ichigo jumped at the deep, mocking voice and his pencil scraped a dark line across his forlorn drawing of the instrument he'd loved and lost.
"Aw," a softly strong female voice from behind him said regretfully. "Grimmy, you scared him out of his wits and made him ruin his cute drawing."
Grimmjow shrugged his broad shoulders at Neliel. "Not my fault he's a scaredy pussy."
Ichigo scowled darkly and growled under his breath, glancing around to make sure nobody was looking his way and would think he was talking to himself. "Okay, a) nobody scared me. I was startled. And b) what the fuck are you two doing here?"
"Orihime-chan invited us," Neliel answered brightly.
The shinigami blinked. "Orihime…chan?"
"Gomen, Ichigo-kun!" the girl in question suddenly poked her head into the group. "I completely forgot to mention that I invited them to spend Christmas with me."
"Hai!" Neliel's eyes sparkled. "Orihime-chan told me all about it and I just had to experience this…um…" She bit her bottom lip in thought.
"Holiday," Grimmjow growlingly supplied.
"That's it! Holiday!"
Ichigo wiped off his smirk the second it appeared when he glanced in Grimmjow's direction to avoid a battle scene. There he was, the king of Hueco Mundo, his hip leaning against the school desk of an oblivious student, clearly wrapped tightly around the little finger of the green-haired female arrancar now animatedly chatting with Orihime. Soul Society had made a tentative treaty with Hueco Mundo and its new king and queen, the two espada hanging out in his classroom this very moment, and Orihime and Neliel had become fast friends. He and Grimmjow had…come to some sort of peace treaty of their own.
He watched Mizuiro walk right through Grimmjow's outstretched legs, glance curiously at Orihime who appeared to be chatting with Ichigo…and yet looking up into empty air, shrug and finally continue, tapping away at his cell.
Neliel suddenly trotted over to her grumpy king and slipped her hand through one of his arms that were crossed over his chest. "And you're going to get me a really, really nice present, right Grimmy?"
Grimmjow rolled his blue eyes. "No freaking way. You dragged me to this fucking world, but you can't make me celebrate their ooey gooey holiday." He felt her eyes on him and looked down at her…and swallowed hard. She was completely and utterly calm, gazing at him with an almost bored expression.
"Oh?" was all she said, slowly blinking and tilting her head slightly to the side.
His mouth went cotton ball dry. The espada king could almost tangibly feel the air growing thickly ominous. He knew if he didn't tread carefully, he could easily step onto a landmine. "What I meant was, there's no way I'm going to get you a really, really nice present. I'm going to get you a fucking awesome present and show these humans how to do it right." Grimmjow flexed his shoulders to keep them from sagging in relief when the air suddenly lifted and her face broke out into a smile. To his horror, she lifted up on tip-toe and kissed his cheek.
"I can't wait."
She can't wait. Oh fuck. What the hell was he going to get that's "fucking awesome"? He slowly grinned. He could think of a few things that would be fucking awesome for the both of them. Grimmjow glanced warily at the woman on his arm. But she might not appreciate that… He felt someone staring at him and shot his eyes over to catch Ichigo smirking. "You wanna die, punk?" Grimmjow smiled in satisfaction when Ichigo's expression dropped. "That's what I thought."
Just then Tatsuki strolled up, barely nodding to the two espada she'd already met yesterday at Orihime's, and draped her arm around Orihime's shoulders, leaning over to glare at Ichigo. "You better come to Orihime's Christmas party next week, asshole."
"Tatsuki!" Orihime protested. "He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. His family might have traditions on Christmas Eve and-"
"No, I'm definitely coming," Ichigo interrupted. "Wouldn't miss it."
"Good." Tatsuki smirked evilly. "You better get me something that will blow my socks off."
Ichigo cocked an eyebrow. "Blow your socks off? Like using you as testing grounds for the latest weapon of mass destruction? My pleasure."
"Oh so you admit to being weak and needing a bomb to defeat me? Glad to see you're finally honest with yourself."
"Kurosaki honest with himself?" Ishida suddenly appeared. "Grimmjow-san, tell me, has hell frozen over?"
"Why the fuck are ya askin' me?"
He shrugged his thin shoulders. "No reason."
"In your seats!"
The students all cringed at the teacher's screeching. Grimmjow growled and clamped his hands over his ears.
Ichigo couldn't help it. "Kitty's ears sensitive?"
Grimmjow's eyes flashed dark blue and he would've lunged for the joker if not for his queen stopping him with her hands planted on his chest. "How about part of my Christmas present be that you not destroy the human world?"
His nostrils flared as he glanced from his mate to his nemesis, back and forth several times before finally his bunched muscles began to loosen and his rage was toned down to a medium simmer. "Fine," he growled. "But you're on thin ice, Kurosaki. Very thin." He held up two fingers with a just a smidgen of space between them to illustrate his point.
As Grimmjow and Neliel left out the window and the teacher droned on, Ichigo crinkled up the guitar doodle and tossed it into the trash can at the front when the teacher's back was turned. Whatever. Dream's gone. Such is life. He grasped his pencil and forced himself to focus on the mumbo jumbo being scribbled on the board.
No wait. He had to think of gifts for his friends. Ichigo made thoughtful circular designs on his notebook. There was Tatsuki. Besides a wrapped time bomb…ah! He would get her that samurai sword she'd been talking about the other day. Chad…hm…something cute…meh, he'd get Yuzu to help him find something fluffy and adorable for his best friend, the walking contradiction. And Ishida. Ichigo snarled. Eye glass cleaner should do. Okay, okay, he'd find out from Orihime what book he had a hankering for. A Playboy subscription for Keigo and a…hm…a chastity belt for Mizuiro? Well he'd figure out something. And in less than a minute they're all covered for the most part… except for one.
Ichigo glanced at the girl. What on earth could he possibly get Orihime? Maybe he could try lassoing the moon. Hm, not quite enough Maybe he could get Saturn's moons for her too. A few stars while he was at it.
His head fell to the desk with a loud bang. Yeah, so he liked her.
Really liked her.
Like…a lot. As in how a guy likes a girl.
He might love her.
Okay so he did. Very much.
…All right, if you insist upon prying into his private affairs he was madly in love with her nearing the point of obsession and was helplessly clueless as to what to do about it or whether he even should do anything about it. Damn it all to hell and back!
"Care to share with the rest of the class what exactly is being damned to hell and back, Kurosaki?"
Ichigo's head jerked up to stare at the seething teacher standing over him, book in hand, ready to thwack him over the head with it. Oops. Said that last part out loud apparently. He glanced around at all the eyes staring at him, mouths covered to stifle chuckles. Hopefully that was all he said out loud. "No thanks."
Thwack.
:
"Ichigo-kun, are you sure your head is all right? She hit you awfully hard." Hours later, Orihime was walking next to him on the way to the bookstore to help him pick out something for Ishida, glancing at him with concern as he rubbed his temples against the headache that crazy woman had caused.
"Yeah, I'm fi – well, I'll be fine. Eventually."
He looked down when he felt her slim hand on his arm to see her pointing to their left. "Sit over on this park bench. I know exactly what to do. I used to do this for my brother when he would get stress headaches and it always fixed him up in a jiffy."
Curious, Ichigo allowed himself to be led to the bench and plopped down, watching her suspiciously as she bounced around to stand behind him. "What exactly did you do?"
He nearly jumped when he felt her fingers at the side of his head, turning it so he was facing forward. "This."
Oh. God. He entered seventh heaven as she started gently massaging his scalp, his eyes closing and his head falling back slightly. God, she was incredible at this. And this was her. The girl was the one standing behind him, massaging his headache away and – Oh Great Jehoshaphat her fingers were on the back of his neck, swirling in small, firm circles against his skin. A thought fleeted across his mind that wondered where else she could use her masseuse expertise, but he quickly extinguished that thought. For some crazy reason he wasn't a fan of strolling about in public with the girl of his dreams at his side and a visibly stiff rod at his front.
Course, the girl of his dreams plus his stiff rod in a more private situation equaled – "Ow! Son of a-"
"Sorry!" cried the girl who had just about popped his head right off his shoulders. "I know it hurts at first, but you're headache should be gone now. I had to relax your muscles before popping your neck or it wouldn't work."
Amazingly enough, his headache was gone. "Holy shi – er, crap! It's gone." He turned around to look up at her in wonder. "Thanks… Have I mentioned you're amazing?"
Orihime flushed red and started stuttering and shifting all over the place. Ichigo had to admit, he really got way too much enjoyment out of making her do that. He was pretty evil for not saying something to rescue her from it. But it really was just too gosh darn adorable. Finally she managed to stutter out something about continuing on to the bookstore.
Before they came to their destination, they passed the store that held Tatsuki's dark blue samurai sword and Ichigo popped in quickly to purchase it on their way. They'd almost come to the book shop when Orihime spotted her espada guests strolling down the sidewalk.
"Grimmjow-kun! Neliel!" She bounced and waved at them, bringing them over. Ichigo huffed. He could just as well leave them to themselves.
"Well don't you two make a cute couple," Neliel beamed, and beamed even brighter when her words turned the teens faces redder than tomatoes.
"We – We're not a-" Ichigo started.
"Yes, I know. You're not a couple. Whatever. You still look cute together. What are two doing out here? Christmas shopping?" The non-couple nodded in sync. Neliel glanced at the wrapped sword in Ichigo's hand. "That your gift for her? A sword?"
"No, it's for Tatsuki."
Neliel grinned at his obvious discomfort and wanting to get the hell away from her and Grimmjow who was preoccupied with holding a snarling contest with the dogs in the pet shop window next to them. "Oh, Tatsuki. I see. But I don't see how much use Tatsuki would get with a sword from you," she remarked, tapping her chin thoughfully.
"What the hell do you mean by that?"
"Grimmjow." Neliel tugged on his white sleeve, and he grumpily turned to her. "Don't you think Orihime is the one that needs a sword from Ichigo?"
Grimmjow blinked at her. Glanced at Ichigo and Orihime. Back at her. And then shook his head. "Nah, it'd be too small for Orihime."
"That's not very nice."
"A woman needs a long, slick sword that can really do the job right."
"Hm, I think you're right. A sharp one that's always ready and won't go soft in the middle of things."
"Exactly. So I don't think Ichigo's up to the task."
"Of course Ichigo's up to the task!"
Grimmjow glowered darkly at her. "And why are you so sure of this? Experience?"
"No! Of course not! Woman's intuition." Grimmjow scoffed and Neliel turned to a very confused Ichigo. "Go on. Prove that you're up to the task."
"Huh?"
"Whip out your penis, of course!"
Of course. Just whip out his penis. No big deal. "Are you insane?"
"No. We just need to determine once and for all if you really should be the one to give a sword to Orihime for Christmas."
Orihime stood stiffly next to Ichigo with her face inflamed, unable to utter a sound. Ichigo gripped his sword – the samurai one – with one hand and took her hand with the other. "Yeah, I think we're just gonna go."
"Toothpick."
Ichigo glared at the smirking king, but decided against retaliating while Orihime was with him. "Come on, let's leave these loons."
Thankfully, she obediently followed him, still a little shell shocked. Ichigo growled inwardly. What were they thinking? Talking about things like that in front of an innocent girl like Orihime. He glanced over at her. An innocent girl who has staring at his…Oh God. She was staring at his crotch. Look away from her, Ichigo! Look away!
But he couldn't. Not when she was staring with her bottom lip cutely caught between her teeth, her face flushed, her eyes wide. Suddenly she blinked and her head snapped up to stare in front of her, her face turning red again. There sure was a lot of blushing going around lately.
With a jolt he realized they hadn't said anything since the very awkward moment with those crazy hollow people. He cleared his throat loudly. And again, for good measure. "Um." Good start. "So." Clearly, he was giving JFK a run for his great orating money. "Have any idea what books Ishida's interested in?" Hopefully someone was recording this for the history books.
She brightened considerably at the change in subject. "He mentioned something today about wanting to read Dan Brown's latest book, The Lost Symbol."
"Thrilling," Ichigo replied, his deadpan voice starkly contrasting the word.
"But I thought we'd look around a bit and see if anything else looks interesting."
"Good idea."
At that they came to the small store made up to look like a book shop from old London town with thick dark wood and soft lighting using fixtures that resembled old gaslights. Ichigo held the door for her and nodded to the aging clerk who greeted them. They made their way over to the bestseller section, noticing the Dan Brown book and passing it by to browse the others. Ichigo pointed to the row of black books by Stephanie Meyer and then laughed when Orihime wrinkled her nose and wildly shook her head.
"What about this new Stephen King book?"
Orihime pursed her lips in thought for a moment before she spoke. "Hm, I don't think he likes scary stuff."
"Tch. Wuss."
"Ichigo-kun!" she scolded.
"Just callin' it like it is. Don't you remember when you, Chad, and I didn't get to see Saw VI because a certain Quincy was too much of a chicken?" Orihime glanced away and fiddled with Sarah Palin's book. "That's what I thought. I still haven't seen that movie," he grumbled. "Have you?" Orihime shook her head disappointedly. "We should rent it and watch it when it comes out."
He'd said it casually, but then her eyes widened just slightly and images of her cuddled up with him on the couch, just the two of them, flooded his brain and sent his heart racing. To his amazement she nodded. "That…that sounds great."
Just two friends getting together to see a movie they'd missed. Nothing romantic about it all. It was Saw for Christ's sake, not Sleepy in Sydney or whatever. But he found himself frantically trying to remember the DVD's release date. January sometime…it couldn't come fast enough. He searched the shelves for something else to dwell on. "Oh, here we go. A Nicholas Sparks novel for his pea-pickin' heart." He grinned sheepishly at the quelling look she gave him and set the book back on the shelf.
After going down a few more aisles, Ichigo was discovering something. Orihime was one smart chick. Well, he'd always known she was smart, but she's really smart. In that booky, schoolwork kind of way, that is. He'd lost count of how many books she'd had a comment for, and that was just the one's she liked! And it wasn't like it was the Nora Roberts shit, it was the Tolstoy and Dickens shit. She was practically a living, breathing Cliff Notes. Ichigo himself liked good literature now and then, mostly before this shinigami stuff robbed him of what little free time he'd had back then, not that he'd ever let that get out, but she…she would actually be someone who wouldn't laugh at him for it. All the others would never let him live it down. Orihime on the other hand…maybe…maybe she was someone he could share that with…
"What about some of these?"
He looked to where she was pointing. "Naruto?! Tch." He didn't know quite why he had such animosity for the manga series, but he just did. Almost as if he had some kind of competition with the spiky-haired ninja. A case full of mostly red and pink books caught his eye and he smirked and started strolling in its direction, calling over his shoulder. "Here's some great girly books. They shouldn't be too scary for him, right?"
"A-Ano, Ichigo-kun you-"
"Here's one." Without looking at the title on the spine, Ichigo quickly slid out the pinkest and most sparkly book and flipped it over to read the front. He paled and then blushed so hard he nearly broke a sweat. The title read, The Cosmo Kama Sutra: 77 Mind-Blowing Sex Positions. The worst thing? He was tempted to crack it open right then and there to find out how to blow the girl's mind that stood not four feet away from him.
He flipped the tempting yet offensive book to the back cover and fumbled around trying to quickly slip back into its slot. But he missed. And somehow he'd jiggled a book loose and it fell to the ground – along with about fifteen other sex books. He cursed under his breath and knelt to pick them up.
"Oh! I'll help you!"
No, no, no. Not good, not good! But she was already there, picking up a book entitled, Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands on Guide to Penis Pleasing with, of course, a picture of a woman gleefully holding a pickle. And Orihime couldn't stop staring at. To distract himself from thinking about her getting ideas, Ichigo grabbed the first book next to him. A nude woman barely covered by the book's title, The Lowdown on Going Down. He shoved it into the shelf with a bang. Mentally noting to check it out later.
It seemed to take forever to put back those few but highly embarrassing books. Sex positions – 365?! He only knew of 3! Missionary, doggy, and her on top…great mental images, but they really weren't helping him out with avoiding a stiff-rod situation – , how to make love like a porn star, erotic massages – which Orihime had down pat, no doubt – and sex games galore. Finally, they finished, faces red, and they both stood. Well, he stood while Orihime stumbled and would have fallen if he hadn't caught her by her arms.
Ichigo pulled her closer to steady her on her feet. "You okay?"
She lifted her chin to look up at him and nodded. And then he took a mental nose-dive into those big eyes, losing himself in her. Damn, she was cute. His thoughts went downhill and into the Sex and Relationships section's gutter from there. Before he knew what was happening he'd pulled her even closer until he could feel her breasts pressed to his chest, her hands softly resting on his coat. If he just tilted his head and lowered it just a bit, he could kiss her. It'd be so easy. So…simple…
He jumped nearly a foot at the sound of a cough. It was the old clerk. "We're 'bout to close. If you're gonna buy anything, you better do it."
Ichigo dropped his hold on Orihime like her arms were hot irons. "Y-Yeah, sorry. Okay." He turned to the girl, nervously scratching the back of his head. "You just wanna get him a gift card or something?"
Orihime nodded. "Yeah, okay."
A silence filled with awkwardness engulfed the two teens until they left the shop, blasts of cold air chilling their faces and cooling their hormones…somewhat.
Orihime's mind raced with what had just happened in the sex section of the book shop. She'd panicked when Ichigo had innocently strolled over to the deceptive, innocently colorful case, and then what happened was embarrassing beyond belief. Looking at all those books with him…and her wandering mind was just not helping things one bit. It had been enough with Neliel and Grimmjow's suggestive comments that made her lewdly stare at Ichigo's…his…um…well, sword. Not that she could really see anything under his baggy jeans. And she certainly wasn't disappointed that she wasn't able to see anything! D-Definitely not.
"Seven o'clock, right?"
She started at the sudden question. "Huh?"
"Christmas Eve. Your place. Seven o'clock?"
"Oh! Oh yeah, right. Seven o'clock." Here she was thinking dirty thoughts and there he was thinking of Christmas and sugar plums. Sora would be ashamed of her. "U-Unless you want to come earlier or later or whenever. It doesn't matter. Seven o'clock is ju-" She stopped short at the hand he held up.
"I'll be there."
Orihime nodded and bit her lip against the thick silence that engulfed them again as their boots crunched in the snow. Not soon enough, they walked out of the shopping district and Orihime paused to bid him goodbye when her turn came up, but he kept walking in her direction. She jogged to catch up to him. "Wait! Ichigo-kun, you don't need to walk me home! It's so cold and-"
"You helped me out. Walking you home is the least I can do."
She noticed the stubborn set of his jaw and stifled a sigh as she fell into step beside him. "Thank you."
He nodded. Really, if he wanted to do her a favor, and she never thought she'd say this, then he could leave her to be alone. The awkward silence was killing her. They'd been having so much fun! But now… He was so stiff. Nothing had even happened back there! Not really. It could have been nothing at all! It had felt as if he were about to kiss her, but that could just be wishful thinking. He might have been extra concerned for her well-being when she'd stumbled and then…and then…well, she had no other excuses for the way his eyes had begun to slide closed as his head lowered to hers. But it might not have been an almost kiss. Well, actually that was the only thing it could be.
Wait.
Orihime stopped in her snow tracks. He'd been about to kiss her! This…this was huge! No, this was impossible! It was crazy! Kurosaki Ichigo almost kissed her! And if it hadn't been for the clerk, he might have actually gotten to it! Holy shi-
"Orihime? You okay?"
Her head snapped up and she could only stare.
"Oi! You all right?"
Eventually she must've nodded and moved her feet because soon they were walking side by side again and soon after that they'd reached her apartment building and she was fumbling with the keys. With Ichigo's help, the door eventually swung open and a small, white ball of fluff zoomed up to her and put its paws high up on her boot. "Ah! Good evening!" She grinned and scooped the kitten up in her arms, nuzzling the purring fur ball.
"Cute."
Orihime turned to smile up at him. "She's Chad's Christmas present. I got her at the shelter the other day."
Ichigo blinked repeatedly. "Oh. That's a really good idea."
"Have you gotten him anything yet?" He shook his head. "Well, if you want to you could buy him some stuff to go with her. I wanted to get some, but all I could afford was a litter box with litter and food dishes with kitten food."
He did the blinking thing again. "That's…a really good idea too." His strong mouth lifted into his Harrison Ford half-smile and she melted. "Thanks, Orihime."
She nodded. "W-Well, um, thanks for walking me home. Can I get you anything to drink or eat?"
"Uh." Ichigo looked into her apartment and she could've sworn something flashed across his eyes that turned them from butterscotch to dark chocolate, but he quickly lowered his gaze. "N-No thanks, I should get home or my father will beat my head in."
"Okay, see you next week then."
"Yeah." With that he was out the door. She shut it behind him and fell back against the door, cuddling the kitten in her arms and closing her eyes.
Kurosaki Ichigo had tried to kiss her.
Orihime touched her hand to her cold lips.
And finally shook her head with vehemence. Silly girl. It was just because they were looking at all those books that she – both of them were out of their minds a little. With determination, she shoved off the door and stalked into her kitchen to get her and her guests' dinner fixed. Soon she was humming and smiling to herself.
She couldn't wait until Christmas Eve.
:
Orihime's door swung open on Ichigo's first knock. "Grimmjow. There's a cat on your shoulder."
"No fuck, Sherlock. Get yer ass in here."
Ichigo barely got his ass inside before Grimmjow slammed the door behind him. His scowling face and ominous, broad shoulders a sharp contrast to the sweet, white kitten with a light blue ribbon tied round its neck, happily perched on the espada's shoulder.
Deciding not to comment further, Ichigo dumped his bag of gifts next to the Christmas tree and followed the sound of giggling girls into the kitchen.
"Merry Christmas, Ichigo-kun!" Orihime waved at him with her wooden spoon, wearing a green apron in the shape of a Christmas tree, covering whatever was under it, and her slender legs in black tights with a little sparkle as she moved, and her feet shoved into very sparkly red heels. Her long hair was swept up into a loose do, her hairpins moved to one side of her head and a sparkly red bow tucked into the folds of auburn.
"Merry Christmas. You look…festive."
"Merry Christmas, Itsygo!" Neliel cried, playfully using her child form's speech.
His head swiveled to the espada who was dressed head to toe in green. "You look like an elf."
She huffed and planted her hands on her hips. "Well, you look like a big boring 'Bah Humbug'." Neliel broke out into a grin then. "I learned that phrase from watching the Christmas Carol today," she told him proudly. "Orihime's been schooling us on all things Christmas."
"And I still say it's a lameass ooey gooey shit day."
Neliel frowned at her blue Grinch with a bathing kitten on his shoulder. "Grimmjow, did you learn nothing from Scrooge? You have to keep Christmas or you'll end up being visited by three ghosts!"
"I am a ghost."
"…Well, then you'll die and everyone will celebrate at your funeral!"
"I already am dead. Comes with being a ghost. And so are you, sweetheart."
Neliel huffed in frustration. "Well, you should still celebrate Christmas just because…well, you just should, that's all."
Grimmjow didn't look convinced, but just then the bell rang and Tatsuki was the second to arrive, all the others coming quickly after that until Orihime's apartment was all a buzz with Christmas cheer and…well, what you get when you put a Quincy, a shinigami, and an espada king in the same room.
"Star Wars ain't the greatest movies of all time, Ishida. That's ludicrous! They were pioneering in special effects, but the script is shit."
"Okay, Oh Great Shinigami, what, in your infallible opinion, is the greatest movie of all time?"
"You can't just pick one, but off the top of my head one of them would be The Return of the King."
"Lord of the Rings?! Are you serious? You counter Star Wars with Lord of the Rings?"
"Lord of the Rings owns Star Wars any day of the week."
"You're a moron."
"If I'm a moron, that makes you a sea sponge."
"Would you motherfuckers shut the hell up?! You've been arguing over these stupidass moving pictures for the past half hour!"
"Moving pictures?" Ishida raised a disdaining brow at Grimmjow. "Do you make moonshine in an underground speakeasy too? Better stock up on your illegal assets before the stock market crashes."
"…What the fuck is he talking about?" Grimmjow asked a highly amused Neliel.
She patted his chest and kissed his cheek. "You're too young to know."
Just then, Orihime rescued them from further strife by bouncing in with eggnog and cookies and, for Ichigo, a very distractingly adorable red velvet party dress with white fur round the hem that fell just above her knees. The cookies were eyed suspiciously until Neliel announced that she made them and Orihime decorated them, and they all murmured thanks and dove for the cutely iced sugar cookies.
Later, when all were stuffed with the impressive Christmas spread, Orihime announced it was time to open presents. Chad had already gotten his from Orihime. The kitten had transferred its clingy ways from Grimmjow to Chad after experiencing the love the big Hispanic lavished on her. He named her Cottonball, ignoring the protests from his male friends that he needed to give it a manlier name.
Ichigo regretted giving Tatsuki the sword the moment she tore the wrapping off of it as her eye gleamed evilly in his direction. But to his deep relief, Orihime was overjoyed with the Laugh Hour DVD set he gave her. It seemed trivial compared to what he wanted to give her, but as long as she was happy.
Once all the gifts had been passed out and opened, wrapping paper and bows strewn about the living room floor, Ichigo suddenly realized he didn't have any gifts. He blinked a bit, sort of feeling a little hurt by it. Kind of odd that they all forgot about him, but okay… Suddenly a red envelope appeared before his face. He looked up to see Rukia smirking at him.
"Merry Christmas, you goof."
He glared at her and snatched the thing from her hand, secretly ecstatic that at least she had remembered. He tore it open and stared at the paper in his hands. "Is this for real?" he asked Rukia. It was a contract that ensured a competent member of Soul Society would protect Karakura Town and its spirits from hollows, only calling him in on emergencies when necessary, allowing him to live his human life.
She nodded. "Yup, a little Christmas gift from all of Soul Society, organized by the woman in red behind me."
He leaned over to look behind her at Orihime who was beaming at them, until she realized it was her that Rukia was talking about. "R-Rukia!"
"Oh I know you didn't want me to tell him, but I think he should know."
Orihime blushed and bit at her lip nervously. "Well, I hardly did a thing. It was everybody else who did it. Soul Society wouldn't have just listened to me."
"Thank you, Orihime," Ichigo smiled gratefully at her. "This…this is seriously the best Christmas present you could have given me."
"Not quite the best," Tatsuki grinned mischievously at him and reached behind the couch to pull out a guitar case with a giant red bow wrapped around it. Ichigo's eyes grew to saucer size as she set it in front of him. "We all pitched in. Organized, of course, by the same woman in red."
"Tatsuki!"
Tatsuki laughed. "You really thought you were going to get away with not getting the credit for your Christmas angel deeds?" She turned back to Ichigo who was reverently running his hand over the black case. "Well open it already, you doofus."
He glanced at her in a dreamlike state, and then back down to gently remove the bow. He took a deep breath and then slowly unlocked the case and lifted the top. There she was in her firebursting Gibson glory. Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry.
And the craziest thing? He had time now. Time at last to hang with his friends more. Learn guitar. Date… His eyes lifted up to look at the grinning girl on her knees next to the coffee table. Maybe…nah, there was no way life would be that good to him on one day. Was Orihime interested in him? Do angels fall for ogres?
"Orihime…I… 'thank you' doesn't seem to be enough."
She blushed and waved her hand at him dismissively. "It's more than enough. You don't even have to do that. Besides, there's no way I could've done it without everyone else's help."
He smiled at her and then looked around the room. "Thanks guys…you…"
"Seriously, Kurosaki, don't get all sentimental on us. It's revolting." Ishida pushed up his glasses to hide his smile.
"Besides it saved us from having to actually put in effort to go out and shop for your gift," Tatsuki remarked.
Ichigo shook his head and gently stroked the smooth finish of the guitar.
"Oh yeah, can't forget this."
Ichigo looked up just in time to take an amp to the chest as Grimmjow tossed it. "Thanks," he wheezed.
"Welcome."
Orihime suddenly bounded up from the floor. "Well, who wants hot chocolate?" She left for the kitchen in a choir of 'I do's.
"Play something for us, Ichigo," Rukia piped up.
"Eh? I don't know how to play!"
"Are you kidding? I paid good money to see a show!"
Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I have to learn first and I'll give one to you next year. Maybe."
"No maybes, mister!"
Ichigo stood up and lightly shoved Rukia's head with his hand. "Be good and we'll see."
"Why you-"
But Ichigo was already in the kitchen by the time Rukia got the insult out and Orihime was wildly shaking the can of whipped cream, practically jumping with it. "Ya know, I don't think you need to shake it that hard, Orihime."
She stopped and looked at him with wide eyes. "But it says 'Shake Well'. I want to make sure I shake it well! What if I don't shake it well enough? I think I'd rather shake it over-well than under-well."
He smirked and shook his head, gently taking the can from her hands and easily spraying a large dollop into the nearest mug of hot chocolate. "See? It's fine."
Orihime hmphed. "Only because I shook the Dickens out of it."
As she frowned in concentration, spraying into another mug, Ichigo crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the counter. "I don't know how to thank you, Orihime."
She blushed and shrugged her shoulder, moving to the next mug. "You already did, Ichigo. Really, it was no big deal."
"Yeah, it was a big deal. A huge deal for me anyway. A lot bigger than some TV show DVD set."
She stopped and fully turned to him, a shocked expression on her face. "Kurosaki Ichigo, I love your gift! More than you know! Don't you dare downplay your gift to me!"
He shifted uncomfortably. "But-"
"No buts! You – Oh! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, Ichigo-kun!"
Ichigo stood there with wide eyes, mouth dropped open and full of whipped cream, his cheek covered in Reddi-Whip. She'd pointed the canister to him in rebuke and had apparently pressed the tip on accident. He closed his mouth and swallowed the cream as she set the can down and frantically apologized, looking around for a towel.
She grabbed one and quickly reached up to wipe it off his face. "I can't believe I did that, I-" She stopped when she noticed he was laughing at her and soon she started giggling. "You were pretty funny looking."
"Funny looking, huh?"
She nodded, giggling more and not noticing that his arm had reached behind her. Suddenly she found her mouth and cheek covered in cream. She tried to protest, but her mouth was full of whipped cream. Orihime quickly swallowed it and tried to get the can away from him, but he was dangling it high above her head.
"Hey! Give that back to me!"
"No way. You're not qualified to handle this kind of equipment, ma'am."
She planted her hands on her hips. "Kind of equipment, indeed. I did it on accident, but you did it on purpose! Who's the more dangerously reckless of the two?"
Ichigo grabbed the towel from her hand and swiped at her cheek. "I have more control over it." She caught him off guard and jumped high enough to grab it, quickly pointing it in his direction and backing away from him.
"Now you stay where you are." She shook it at him as he grinned and stepped closer. "I'm warning you!"
"You won't do it. You don't have it in you." Another step.
"I did it before, I can do it again!" Her back hit the cupboards.
"That was an accident. Doesn't count." He took a final step and the white tip stuck him in the chest. "Do it. I dare ya. Go ahead, make my day."
Orihime laughed at his badly done Clint Eastwood impersonation, and Ichigo, without thinking, swiped his finger down her cheek, gathering a bit of whipped cream he'd missed, and stuck his finger in his mouth.
Abruptly, Orihime stopped laughing and stared at him as all joking left Ichigo's eyes, his finger still in his mouth.
He really hadn't been thinking when he'd done that. Not thinking at all. But now he was thinking. Thinking how she looked adorably gorgeous in that Christmas get up. Thinking about how the bits of cream still on her cheek and lip were sexy as hell. Thinking about how his lips were starting to get awfully close to hers. Wondering how his hands had gotten on her arms and were now moving behind her back to pull her closer. Vaguely noticing the loud clangidy-clang as the canister slipped from Orihime's hand and fell to the hard floor. Definitely noticing as her hands moved up his chest and over his shoulders.
A millisecond more and his mouth was pressed to hers sending a hot rush through his body. He kissed her a little harder, hugging her tight as her soft body molded to his, her sweet lips kissing him with just as much passion as he felt. Somehow their mouths soon opened and Ichigo was the first to claim dominance of her mouth, exploring her mouth that tasted of sweet cream and sugar cookies.
Orihime responded eagerly, her fingers sinking into his hair and keeping his head firmly against hers. She felt as if she her going to melt right there on the spot if he kept kissing her like this and slowly running his hands up and down her back like that. A soft moan escaped her lips when his hands suddenly gripped her hips and he pressed her body against the tall cupboard doors.
"Wooey, got a little too much heat cookin' in here, don't we?"
Ichigo tore his lips from hers, his head whipping back to see their audience. It was Grimmjow who had spoken up, but he wasn't the only there.
"Aw, Grimmjow," Neliel complained. "You ruined the moment!"
Ishida coughed. "Looks like the party is breaking up the party."
Tatsuki and Rukia just looked at each other and grinned, convinced it was their outfit picking that had finally gotten Ichigo to act on his instincts.
Chad, with one hand holding Cottonball, gave them thumbs up.
"Do you mind?" Ichigo growled as Orihime buried her face into his chest.
"No, no," Neliel assured, waving her hand at the couple. "Go right ahead, don't mind us."
Ichigo looked at each of them. "You aren't going to give us any privacy are you?"
"Privacy?" Grimmjow raised his eyebrow. "What do you need to do that needs privacy, Kurosaki?"
Neliel patted him on the arm. "Ichigo needs Orihime to sharpen his sword."
"Toothpick, Neliel," Grimmjow corrected. "It's just a toothpick."
"All right, everybody out!" Tatsuki finally cried, pushing them out of the kitchen, and winking at the couple before she shut the door.
Ichigo blew out a sigh of relief and Orihime finally peeked out from her hiding spot. Their eyes met and the full realization of what had just happened, hit them both at full force.
"Oh! I-"
"Um-"
"You first."
"No, you should go first."
"Well…um…" Ichigo licked at his lips nervously and then stared at her for a moment. "Do you…Do you maybe just wanna talk later and do more of," his finger waggled in between what little space was between them, "this right now."
Orihime nodded vigorously. "Great idea."
He grinned and pulled her hips against him, recapturing her lips with his – but suddenly she pulled back. "Wait, what about the others? And the hot cocoa?"
Ichigo kissed her cheek, licking up a bit of cream. "Fuck the others and fuck the hot cocoa."
She shivered against him and her head tilted to the side as he pressed his lips to her neck. "O-Okay."
He kissed his way back up to her lips, murmuring against them. "Merry Christmas, Orihime."
She smiled and hugged him tightly. "Merry Christmas, Ichig-Oh!"
He chuckled at her response to his hand sneaking a squeeze at her backside before devouring her mouth. And he was definitely loving the new variation on his name.
:
:
:
Yes, those are real book titles. My best friend and I scoured the section for good ones, giggling all the while. I want to buy the "Tickle His Pickle" one just to say I own a book called "Tickle His Pickle".
And yup, yup. Since this is so terribly late and it was getting too long anyway, Part B of codegal's Christmas present will be making an appearance in the form of a GrimmNel sequel to this in my GrimmNel oneshot series to find out what "fucking awesome" gift Grimmjow got her...hopefully fairly soon...
Once again, belated Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!!