A/N: Okay, in this chapter things get serious and so much happens that I broke it into two. The next chapter will have the lemon in it, sorry, but I think the wait will be worth it. Things are moving along rather quickly now as hidden secrets come to life. Its pretty dramatic, but I believe most people would react badly to finding out that several deeply held beliefs were wrong, and that their lives were based off of a lie. It does get better for her soon, though! The next chapter is coming along well and I'm seriously enjoying writing it. I hope to have it out to you in a week or so!
I hope you enjoy it, and thank you to all the kind reviews people posted for the last chapter wishing my dad and I better health. I appreciate it more than you know.
As always, I do not own True Blood.
Chapter 11E
"Okay, Little Butterfly, kick those legs!"
"I," Alex gasped as she attempted to do Riverdance while in a friggin' pool, "hate you so very much."
Dora just laughed and shook her head. "And yet two weeks ago even this would have been a challenge. You are almost as healed as I can help you become, and the rest will just take time. I think we will only have another two or three sessions."
"Hooray!" Alex said happily. "Don't get me wrong, thanks for this and everything, but are all half-demons sadists?"
"Yep, it's in the job description. Okay, youngling, my time is done and the rest of the evening is yours." The half-demon jumped out of the pool, not bothered with her own nudity as she went to get towels. Alex herself was used to Supernaturals and it had amused her when the stable boy had walked into a column while gaping.
A tingle ran down her back and she looked over and saw her vampire standing half in the shadows, watching her.
She smiled, preening that he wasn't paying any attention to Dora and her six-pack abs. No, he was looking at her and she was really glad she had put her hair up in a bun so it would stay dry and she wouldn't look like a drowned rat.
Casually, she tried to saunter- and how the hell did someone actually purposefully saunter?- out of the pool, reaching up and pulling the band from her hair so it tumbled down her back.
She hid a smirk when she saw his eyes follow her hair, and then trace down her body as she emerged from the pool. When his gaze fell to her stomach they narrowed and she realized he could see her scar from the accident.
She really hated her scar, and nonchalantly tried to hide the six-inch long mark with her arm.
There was a whoosh, and he vamp sped in front of her, uncaring that he stood ankle deep in the pool.
"Don't," he said roughly even as his hands were velvet-soft on her skin as he pulled her arm away.
"It's ugly," Alex admitted.
He growled, and her breath caught as she looked up into midnight black eyes.
"Do you believe my brand is ugly?" he asked softly, already knowing the answer.
"No, of course not."
"Then why do you believe that yours are?" His thumb gently stroked over the lightly puckered skin his other hand coming to rest on her hip. "It is proof that you did not die," he said softly. "I do not want you to be ashamed of such a thing because then it infers you would rather not be here. The modern human belief that beauty must involve complete perfection is erroneous and any man who believes that is not worth your time."
Her hands rose to rest on his arms, her body trembling as she looked up at him. Tingles moved from her skin each time his calloused thumb rubbed over the sensitive scar tissue. She was wearing a bikini, but the way he was looking at her made her feel deliciously naked.
She liked it. A lot. She wondered what he would do if she took her top off and if she could pull the move off as being 'European.' She was still stoked that he had yet to take his eyes off her and she didn't even have a six-pack like the half-demon.
Before she could go through with the idea she saw his eyes suddenly shutter, and he stepped back.
"I will await your arrival in the gazebo," he said calmly. "You may wish to put on something more, as it is chilly this evening."
She smirked at his back, her female intuition telling her that he wanted her covered for more than just the cold air.
She quickly dried off with a towel and wrapped a colorful sarong around her waist, tying it in a low knot at her hips.
"Thanks, Dora," she said to the quietly watching half-demon. "Will I see you tomorrow?"
"No, tomorrow is my alpha male sire's naming day and I must attend as his firstborn. Besides, I guess you deserve a break, Little Butterfly. You are almost as healed as I can help you to be."
Alex smiled but her eyes remained trained on the gazebo. She knew that tonight was the night and it had been hell trying to keep focused on her exercises.
Yes, tonight was the night. Her stomach clenched with excitement and she wiped her palms on her sarong. Would they spend the night together, or would that be moving too fast? She had known him for years, and it wasn't like she had any human moral hangups. Yeah, she could imagine them in that big bed of his, curled up together as the sun rose.
Preferably naked.
Alex took a deep breath and looked down at her blue bikini with an ironic smile. It wasn't exactly the gown and fancy jewels that she had always thought she would wear, but at least she looked good. She had seen him checking her out, and she thought he liked what he saw. Even if she didn't have a body like Jessica Rabbit.
She stepped forward, hope and love and excitement rolling around in her belly and making her hands tremble.
Tonight was the night, and nothing would go wrong.
She just knew it.
"Godric?" she said and flushed when her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and stepped into the gazebo. Be calm. Be cool. Be sexy. She really, really wished it didn't have to be the younger person to approach the older to ask for Courtship. The Code really sucked sometimes, and vampires were so damned formal it often made her want to pull out her hair.
"Yes?"
Something in his voice worried her. "Are you okay?"
He smiled, but his eyes seemed … odd. Distant. "Of course. Are you hungry? I had the housekeeper bring you some food."
She glanced at the plates but turned her attention back to him. He was being strange, but maybe he was reacting to her own nerves. She wasn't ignorant enough to think he couldn't smell the anxiety rolling off her in waves, not to mention her heart was pounding like crazy.
"I'm going to be eighteen soon, and the Authority will consider me an adult. I'll free to make my own choices."
She winced. It wasn't exactly poetry, but she guessed it got her point across. Yet instead of reassuring him that a few months mattered little in the grand scheme of things, it seemed to only make him even more closed off.
"Um, Godric? Do you remember when we first met?"
"Of course," he said with a barely-there quirk to his lips. "You were such a precocious little girl."
"I was a pain in the ass," she laughed and eased another step closer. "I think I drove your nest nuts with all of my 'adventures.' Even though we only spoke a few more times before we saw each other again in Chicago, I think I still managed to scare the hell out of you with some of my shenanigans."
Even as she spoke, her mind furiously tried to remember the pretty speech she had written over the past year when she had planned her approach. Why couldn't she remember it!? Something about their time in his garden …
She was going to have to shoot from the hip and wing it. Oh gods, that never ended well with her when it came to Godric.
She took another step forward, reaching for his hand when, to her horror, she felt her bare foot catch on the edge of the rug and she toppled forward with a startled yelp.
Cold arms grabbed her, holding her still-damp body against his cool hardness. Her face was pressed against his chest, and she bit back a moan as his scent surrounded her. He always smelled so delicious, of Oak and campfires, and of home.
Her home.
She loved his arms around her waist, the tight grip of his hands on her bare back holding her securely. Was it normal to feel bolts of electricity from where he touched her? Everything about him made her body clench in yearning and it was the most natural feeling in the world to lean closer and tilt her face up towards his.
"My hero," she said with a flirtatious grin, her mouth only inches away.
His eyes widened slightly and when he went to step back she rose on her tiptoes, closed her eyes, and gently pressed her mouth against his.
Soft.
His lips were amazingly soft against hers. And cool. And just … perfect.
It lasted barely seconds before she was deafened by a furious roar, and a hand slammed down on her shoulder and ripped her backward.
"Ow!" she said when she hit the floor and slid several feet on her rear.
"Gaul, what the fuck," snarled a familiar voice, "do you think you are doing to my little sister?!"
Furious growls and snarls in a language unknown to her filled the air and she blinked the stars from her eyes. Blurs moving around the room and the sound of shattering plates making her cringe.
It took a moment for her to focus, and she looked up at her eldest brother in surprise as she scrambled to her feet. "Gabriel?! Where did you come from? Are you nuts trying to fight Godric? He'll stomp on you like a bug!"
The two vampires continued to blur around her and she waited until she could tell which one was her brother. She reached out and grabbed him.
It was a mistake.
He struck out flung her and she sailed through the air towards one of the columns with a piercing scream.
"Godric!"
She clenched her eyes shut, waiting for the agony of shattering bones when she was plucked out of the air and cradled against a firm chest. She knew those arms and scent and she opened her eyes to see her vampire staring down at her, his own eyes dark with fury.
"Gabriel Makhiara," the Gaul said coldly as he held her closer to his chest, "you almost seriously harmed your sister, you foolish youngling!"
Her brother just growled and Alex squirmed out of her vampire's arms. "Put me down!"
When he reluctantly sat her own her feet she lunged at her brother, shoving him as hard as she could. "You bastard son of a flea-ridden werewolf! You could have hurt me. What's wrong with you?"
Her brother just glared, roughly grabbing her and shoving her behind him. "I'm sorry, little sister, but you don't understand what he just did. He's trying to take advantage of you."
"What? No, he's not," she said. "And I'm not a little girl, I think I understand exactly what just happened. Put your fangs away, you big lug! I wanted to kiss him. What is wrong with you? This is Godric!"
She glanced at her vampire, practically feeling his rage making the air shiver around her. She was frankly concerned her pigheaded brother was about to get his head yanked off for interrupting their moment. "Godric, are you okay?"
"Don't talk to him!" Her brother was so furious that his fangs were fully extended and dripping saliva. "What the hell are you even wearing? Go put on some clothes."
Before she could tell him where he could go shove his orders, her father, Josiah and Bennet appeared at the gazebo. Thank the gods they were here, they could talk some sense into her bonehead oldest brother. "Dad, tell Gabby to stop being a dick!"
She scowled when it became obvious the vampires were conversing so quickly and lowly that she was unable to hear them. "You guys know I hate it when you talk so I can't hear you."
She wanted to rip her hair out when her father and two other brother's fangs also snicked down, and they all turned on Godric. "Damn it, stop glaring at my future mate! I kissed him!"
She stopped, startled when all five vampires in the gazebo turned as one to stare at her in complete and utter shock.
She glared at her father, furious that they had ruined her the moment she had been looking forward to for years. "Great. Just great. Is there anyone else who wants to come out here and mess this up? Maybe we should get Brian and George, too, so we can have the entire gang!"
She pinched the bridge of her nose and huffed. "This is not how I wanted this to go," she muttered. "Why do all my plans always go belly up?"
"Your … mate?" her father finally said hoarsely. "Impossible. Daughter, explain yourself. Now."
Alex blushed bright red but stubbornly raised her chin. Screw what her family thought, and their need to keep her innocent and pure like some little prissy princess locked in a tower. Godric just had to say 'yes' and then her nest would have to allow their relationship to continue and she was personally going to kick Gabriel straight between the legs if he tried to interfere again.
"Daughter," her father said warningly around still-drawn fangs.
She ignored him and turned to face the silent Ancient. Goosebumps broke out across her skin and she felt like she was on the precipice of something life-changing and wonderful. She just really, really wished they could have this moment together.
In private.
"Godric of Gaul, Eldest of your Bloodline" she said carefully, "I ask for the rights of Courtship, to prove my worth and honor as your future bonded. Let our Lines be united by our troth. For Eternity."
She saw her father's mouth open and hurried before he could interfere, so excited that she didn't notice the brief flash of pain across her vampire's face.
"I-I don't have my Intent to Court gift ready yet," she said sheepishly and could feel her cheeks sizzling at the severe faux pas. "I've been working on it for the last few years and it's almost done. It would have been ready in time since I was going to wait until I was eighteen like you told me to but … it's only a few more months. I'll have it by then to present it to you in front of your nest, I promise. I know that Dora is signing off on my physical therapy in a few days so—"
"Daughter!"
Alex practically jumped out of her skin when her father roared, and her own temper ignited.
"Dad, this is between Godric and me!" she said through gritted teeth. "I can't believe you wont admit that I'm not a child anymore. I could see my brothers being jerks, but why are you being like this? You've supported our relationship since Chicago!"
"What?" her father said, startled. "I have done no such thing."
She jumped when she felt two hands land gently on her shoulders and leaned her head back to see her favorite brother, Josiah, standing behind her. There was nothing but sorrow on his face. And guilt. "Alex, there is something we have to tell you."
"Brother," Bennet said uncertainly, "The Grand Pythoness commanded—"
"No," her father interrupted. "If we had told her back in Chicago, none of this would have happened."
"Told me what?" Alex demanded and pulled herself from under Josiah's grip, edging towards Godric. When she reached for her vampire's hand for comfort, she saw him shift away from her. The hurt felt like a knife in her gut.
"Godric?" Nerves had her wrapping her arms around herself as she looked up into glacial grey eyes. He was wearing his Sheriff's mask again, and it was not the look she had often imagined he would have on his face after she approached him. No, she had always imagined that they would be too busy kissing to really be looking at anything.
"Daughter … perhaps you should sit down."
Her father's voice was gentle, but when she turned she saw the same look of pain and guilt that the rest of her nest wore. "Just tell me!" she demanded fearfully moving away from everyone in the room.
"You are not a normal human."
She blinked. "Um, I'm pretty sure I am."
"No, my child, you are not. You have often asked me why other humans, especially males, cannot stand to be around you. Why they flinch from your presence."
She merely nodded, the feeling of dread growing in her belly.
"To explain why I need to tell you a little about vampire lore."
"I know about our history. I mean, vampire history," Alex said sharply. "You practically made me memorize the entire book. In three languages."
"Not this," Josiah said softly. "This we kept from you on purpose. At first, because you were too young to understand and we wanted you to have as normal a life as possible, and then later because we were under orders from The Council. Please," he added, "just listen."
"Our legends," her father said, "are not clear exactly when the first of your kind was born, but we do know that you are rare. Extremely rare. In all of vampire history there have been only nine, and today only five still walk the world. The stories say that the first was created as a gift for the vampire who defeated Lilith and brought balance back to this realm. Every vampire since has had to do something truly remarkable, to have evolved beyond our base instincts, in order to receive the honor of a Fated Mate. These humans are born as the other half of the chosen vampire's soul, and I believe our lore is the actual basis for the soulmate stories humans are so fond of. Such special humans were always hidden from vampires until they reached the age of The Pull and felt compelled to seek out their mate."
"You are unusual," he continued as she remained silent, "because no Fated Mate has ever been discovered before their majority, but we knew the moment we found you in the car accident that killed your birth family. Your scent and the visible-to-vampires markings on your wrists, neck, ankles and thighs all mark you as one of them. You have been blessed by the Gods, Alexandra, and when you meet your soulmate you will know the type of true love few can boast of having."
Alex blinked, but the slow smile that spread across her face and her sparkling eyes made her father's shoulder's relax. He had been a trifle concerned that she would not react well to the news.
Giddy joy filled her to the brim, and she spun towards her vampire. "So we're actually soulmates?" she said breathlessly. "That explains so much!"
She laughed and clasped her hands together. "So then it doesn't matter that I'm not eighteen at all! We can start our Courtship now and—"
"Alex," Josiah said.
"— I can go back with you to Texas! I was going to wait to tell you as a surprise, but I got accepted into the art program there! And I can't wait to tell Isabel and—"
"Alex—!" Josiah said louder.
"—We can move back to the nest before the semester starts—"
"He's not your damned mate!" Gabriel roared.
She glared at her brother, righteous anger in her eyes. "Bullshit!"
"Watch your language. But no, Daughter, he is correct."
"Yes," she said with complete certainty, "he is. Why else would I be so drawn to him? I mean, if he wasn't then why would you even have let him give me my hair comb? I know the Courtship rules. Even though it is up to the younger to initiate, the eldest can give items to symbolize their own interest. Specifically, gifts marked by blood."
Again, she found herself the recipient of a bunch of nonplussed stares. "Godric, tell them!" she demanded and shot him a frustrated look. "Why aren't you saying anything? Are you testing me already?"
"Alexandra," her vampire said softly, and then paused.
She hurried on before he could continue. "When I asked you to bond before, you told me to wait until I was older. You gave me my hair comb soaked in your blood in front of both of our Bloodlines," she said.
"You …" she bit back the words that would have informed her family about the true meaning of the necklace around her neck and its significance. It all had to mean something, it just had to! "You let me scent your neck."
Gabriel rounded on the Gaul. "She asked you to marry her?! And you said nothing? Did you decide to toy with my sister, Gaul?" he snarled. "I don't care how Ancient you are, I will rip you apart if you dared—!"
Godric shot the younger vampire a lethal glare, his own fangs finally snicking down. "Watch your tone, youngling. I have never spoken inappropriately to your sister. I know the law, and I know my place in her life."
"Yes, you did. Don't you remember?" Alex demanded. Why wasn't he doing anything but standing there with his hands behind his back looking all stoic? "It was on the Ferris Wheel."
At their obvious confusion, she sighed. "In Texas!"
Silence. Complete and utter silence.
Bennet finally voiced his own thoughts. "Texas? Alex, you were five."
"Yeah, so?"
"You were a practically a baby," Gabriel said with a roll of his eyes. "I can't believe you would think something he told a kid meant anything, or that you even remembered it all these years later. Didn't you think it was odd that nobody ever said anything? Not to mention, where did you learn about Courtship and Mating rituals? I know father hid those books from you."
She ignored him and stared at her vampire. "Of course no one couldn't say anything," she said scandalized. "It's against the rules to talk about it before its official."
"No, daughter," her father said quietly. "It was never spoken of because none of us were aware of your belief."
"But … Godric," she whispered feeling her stomach sink. "You knew ... right?"
When his only response was a distant stare she felt something within her begin to crack. Didn't he care? Even just a little bit? What about all those times they cuddled on the couch while they watched movies? Or when he held her while she was sleeping? He even took her dancing up in the night sky!
She swallowed past the rock in her throat. "You gave me gifts. Personal gifts to wear, not just a-a useless vase to stick on a shelf. You accepted my first gift to you, the Sheriff's badge that I even rubbed my own blood on so you would know why I sent it to you. That I hadn't forgotten our talk in Dallas. You killed your brother for me in Chicago, we've spent hours talking on FaceTime, and you left your position in Texas to help me get better."
She was becoming more frantic the longer he remained silent. "I-Isabel said you haven't been with anyone in years, since at least my time in Dallas and definitely not since Chicago. Vampires are never celibate unless they are Courting for an Eternity Bond and … I thought … I thought …"
The tears she refused to cry made it hard to get the words out, especially when he just watched her out of fathomless eyes. "I thought you were waiting for me," she finally whispered. "I've waited for you. I-I love you, Godric."
When he closed his eyes and turned his face away, the pain in her chest almost made her knees buckle. Through numb lips, she whispered, "I've loved you my entire life, since the first moment I saw you. I knew you, and I knew you were mine. And I was yours. I knew!"
Godric remained stoic, but she saw him move to grasp his hands behind his back and hope swelled. She knew he only did that when he was unhappy or thinking unpleasant thoughts. She opened her mouth but her father interrupted.
"Alex," her father said sorrowfully. "Godric kept you safe because your scent draws all vampires to protect you, and because our Lines are allied. Your gifts to him were those of a child to an adult, there is no way he would have thought anything more. Besides, all know that the Gaul will approach any he is interested in having a closer relationship with, and not the other way around."
"I think I would know who my own mate is," she said stubbornly even as her gaze never left Godric.
Her father shook his head. "I told you that Fated Mates are created as a reward for a vampire who has evolved and done some great deed that changed the world. Godric … will never receive such a mate. Ever. Not with his past. The Gods and the Guardians would not allow it, nor let such a human grow to adulthood. Especially not as much as the Guardians rightfully loathe him."
Insult made her snap, "I'm not some … some reward for a goody-two-shoes vampire!"
When her father went to touch her arm she recoiled and stumbled backward into a pillar. "Don't touch me!"
She scowled at her nest. "So, what? I turn eighteen and suddenly everything I am changes? I'm just gonna wake up, run off into the sunset, and fall in love with a complete stranger as if I'm some potato-brained Disney princess? Is magic going to make me forget someone I've loved and wanted since I was five-years-old? That's not … that's not anything to brag about. That's slavery and rape!"
"Such matings have always worked out for the best," her father said gently. "Daughter, this … love … you have for Godric … it will be like a drop in the bucket to what you will feel for your mate. I promise—"
She slashed a hand through the air. "You promise … what? That having my free will taken away from me is okay if I'm 'happy' at the end? That … that being mind-raped by the gods is some sort of special honor? What about free will and the right to choose my own life? Hell, I'm surprised you haven't just tried to glamour me so I go along with it like some good little girl," she spat.
Josiah said, "Alex, you cannot be glamoured, it's one of the perks of being a Fated Mate, and we would not do such a thing to you. Please calm down, sister. Your mate will adore you. Dr. Ludwig thinks that because of your size your Intended will be at least a thousand years old as even after your Turning he will drink primarily from you. Its part of the magic of what you are. You will want for nothing. Ever. You will be protected and happy, little sister. I promise."
The look she shot him was scathing. "Oh, so it would be bad if you glamoured me, but it's perfectly fine for the gods to do whatever the hell they want to me?" She felt green at the realization of what the age restriction meant. "Wait a second. That means I could be mated to someone like Pierre or Eric? Gross!"
"Godric is not an option for you," Gabriel said sternly. "Get over it and stop being so dramatic. You have a silly crush. It's not like it'll matter in another four months anyway. Do you know how many humans would probably kill to be in your shoes?"
"Fuck you, Gabby. So you can choose who you want to bond with, but I don't get that same freedom?"
"You are truly blessed, Alex," Gabriel said. "You will know a love that few will ever experience, and you have a duty to your future mate. Stop being so stubborn."
He could piss her off like no other member of her nest. "I have a duty to some unknown vampire? Fuck that! You say Fated Mates are rare, right? Vampires are nothing if not political, so I just bet there is some status boost to having one," she sneered. "Gee, I've always wanted to be a showpiece on a vampire's arm. I also don't need someone to take care of me. I've worked hard for my own money and I'll be damned if I become some pampered fangbanging pet."
"Fated Mates," her father said sharply, "are never pets. They are honored more than even one's Child, so you will not speak in such a disgusting way. You are sacred to our kind, Daughter, and your being here is a blessing that our people have rejoiced in since you were found. Your blood will increase your mate's strength," her father admitted. "But his blood will increase yours as well until you are Turned. You've always wanted to be a vampire, and now you will."
"I'm a person, not some valuable bauble!" She gave in to her rage and snatched an apple from the table and chucked it at one of her brothers. She knew it wouldn't hit, but she needed to do something. The anger was building and building inside of her and she felt like she was going to explode.
Gabriel growled and vamp sped forward, only to come to a screeching and painful halt as he hit solid air that shattered bone as it viciously tossed him to the ground.
The feeling in the gazebo went frigid, the warning surge of power enough to make their hair stand on end. Gabriel painfully regained his feet, his bones popping back into place when his eyes were caught by dark grey.
Old eyes. Ancient eyes. Eyes that caused vampires centuries older than Gabriel to flee as fast as possible.
"Gabriel Makhaira," the Gaul said with lethal disdain. "If you attempt to approach Alexandra again in such a way, I will end you. Control yourself, or I will do it for you, regardless of the fact you are of an Allied Line."
Godric's softly accented voice was frigid. Dominant. Commanding. The feeling in the gazebo made it hard to breathe, and for the first time she felt the true weight of Godric's power as it kept him physically separate from the others … and from her. He had never done that before, and it only made the ache in her heart and chest worse.
"Alex," Josiah said uneasily, keeping a wary eye on the Gaul. "Perhaps we should take this inside and—"
She pressed both hands against the air, feeling the invisible wall slightly flex under her palms. Instead of shocking her like it did her brother and flinging her through the air, she could have sworn that it purred under her touch, the power curling and twisting gently around her fingers.
It was enough to give her hope that all was not lost.
"Godric," she said, "what I feel for you isn't some silly crush. I know I'm not … not wise, but I have learned something over the past few years. Something you taught me." She tried a smile, but it faltered under the weight of his remote gaze.
"Stop," he commanded softly.
"No," she said and almost smiled at her nest's shocked expressions. Nobody told Godric no. Nobody but her. "I loved you from the moment I saw you, which is kinda funny because I don't believe in love at first sight. I think you can feel an instant connection, one that shakes you down to the core, but it takes time to learn someone and to really love them. You taught me that during our time in Chicago."
She took a deep breath, blushing at what she was about to admit in front of her entire nest and the man she loved. She felt like she was stripping herself naked, but she had to make him understand. "You saved me in Texas, and I hero-worshiped you for ten years even though we only spoke twice during that time. You were my handsome Prince Charming, my Knight in Shining Armor that always saved the day. It wasn't until Chicago and everything that happened there that I really learned who you are, and that you were not perfect … but that you were perfect for me. I grew up then, and the love I have for you changed, too. It became real and solid and it's only grown stronger over the past three years. I … I want to bond with you. An Eternity Bond. And I want to be your Mate-Bonded Child."
"I love you," she said quietly, earnestly. She rubbed at the painful throbbing in her chest. "I know you, and you know me. The real me that hates slapstick comedy movies and fried potatoes. The real me who gets cranky without my lattes and who loves to tease you about your weird obsession with modern minimalistic decor and really ugly chairs."
Her smile came easily then, remembering their playful and not so playful arguments over the past three years. "I don't care what you did in your past. I never have, and I promise that I never will. Nothing you did can change how I feel for you. Those feelings are real and if any of you think that a magical spell can take that away from me and replace it with false emotions for someone else … then you're wrong."
"Daughter," her father said breaking the tense silence but then he seemed unsure of what to say.
She waited for Godric to say something, anything, but he remained quiet. Her anger continued to grow, finding direction now at her nest.
"You kept this from me all this time," she said quietly as the sense of betrayal grew. "And you told me that everyone knows what I am when they see and smell me, right? So … if I wasn't what I am would you have left me to die in that car in the middle of nowhere with my birth family? Or drained me? Would you have kept me with you through all the trouble I got into over the years? If the Council demanded it would you have dumped me with someone else?"
A single tear slid down her cheek and she roughly wiped it away, holding up a commanding hand when her father took a step forward. "I spent my entire life thinking humans hated me because something was wrong with me. That I was a freak of nature, and you knew all this time. How do I know you actually want me as part of your nest? Maybe The Grand Pythoness is making you keep me! Do you even love me at all, or was it all an act to keep the 'sacred Fated Mate' happy? To use me to gain status for the Makhaira Bloodline? Is that why every year we traveled to different Courts … so that all the royals could see the Fated Mate and how well you coddled her?"
"Daughter—"
"Don't call me that!" she said and turned her back on her nest, her chest heaving with her labored breathing.
A broken laugh forced its way out of her at how quickly her life went to shit. Everything was different, and not in the way she had so naively thought hours ago when she spoke with her friend. How had she been so wrong?
She turned to face Godric and used every ounce of strength left in her to stand up straight and proud in front of him. To not show that her life was falling apart around her. She had to have been right about his feelings for her. There was no way she could have been wrong about that.
Right?
"Godric, do you love me?"
Josiah tried to interfere. "Alex—"
She ignored him, ignored them all. She just needed to know if her instincts had been wrong all these years. If he loved her, then they would find a way. There had to be a way to break this … curse.
When he remained silent, she walked through the thickened air around him, something within her unsurprised that it allowed her through. She reached for one of his hands, twining her fingers with his. She ignored the warning buzz his power gave off, trusting as she always had that he would not hurt her.
"How can you not be my mate when I feel like this when we touch?" she asked softly, pleadingly. She raised their combined hands up and rested her cheek against his fingers. "How can you not feel the connection between us?" Her gaze moved between his eyes, trying to see some spark of love for her. Some spark of anything.
They were completely blank.
Desperate, she tried to press her lips once more to his, and he finally reacted. Unfortunately, it was not to return her kiss.
Before their lips could meet he stepped back and reached up with his other hand to clasp hers between them. "Alexandra, youngest member of the Makhaira Bloodline," he said formally, and for a brief moment hope sprung wildly in her breast as he started the return formalities to her proposal. His power curled around her, gently holding her in what felt like a hug.
His next words shattered her heart.
"While I am honored, deeply honored," he stressed, "by your feelings and your request for Courtship, I must decline."
She could not stop the soft sound of pain that burst forth.
He … he said no?
Her head spun. It was too much, too fast. In the span of half-an-hour, she had learned that everything she believed was a lie. That the very foundation of her life was a big, fat lie.
"Godric?" she whispered in a choked voice. "Please …"
She was barely aware of anything beyond her agony when he gave her hands a gentle squeeze before letting go, turning, and walking back towards the house.
She watched, hoping that he would give her a sign, any sign, that he had lied. That he would tell her that she had not mistaken the look in his eyes all these years.
He did not turn.
The anguished keening ripped from her throat as she crumpled to the floor, her fingers digging so harshly into the stone floor her nails bent backward.
She didn't see Godric pause at the door of the house, his teeth gritted and his eyes closed in agony that mimicked her own before he slipped away to the entertainment room. That specific room overlooked the gazebo because even if he was forced to refuse her, he would give her the only support he could. He had ripped out both of their heart, but he would not leave her alone in her pain.
Even though he was forced to watch from the shadows.
She never knew it was possible to hurt so much that tears were impossible, but her eyes were dry as she stared sightlessly at the ground. Something hot began to simmer in her stomach, and her fingers clenched in fists so tight her nails cut her palms.
Her father touched her shoulder and knelt next to her. "Alexandra," he said gently. "I know it hurts, but this pain … it will pass. First loves are always the hardest, but in time you will move on and in four months you will meet your mate and—"
The hot feeling in her chest exploded and she swore she saw a light flash behind her clenched eyes.
There were loud thuds, and she looked up, shocked to see her nest … no, to see her caretakers picking themselves up off the ground ten feet away.
"What the hell was that?" Bennet groaned.
"You lied to me. You all lied to me." Her voice was flat.
"Alex …" Josiah said, but she was unable to give any thought to the pain he had on his face as she was too far gone within her own.
"It was for the best, Daughter."
Something within her snapped, and the training her caretakers gave her on controlling and channeling her emotions came into effect.
"I don't want to see you," she said coldly as her glare raked the four men. "Any of you."
"You are part of our nest," Josiah insisted desperately. "We might have taken you in because of what you are, but we love you as if you were our true blood sister."
"Go away," Alex said harshly. "After ripping my entire life apart the least you can do is give me time to come to terms with the fact my family doesn't give a damn that I'm going to be magically fucked over and forced to love someone not of my choosing."
"It is not appropriate to leave you here with the Gaul," Gabriel said.
She shot him a scathing look. "I think G… the Sheriff made his opinion of having me as a bonded mate perfectly clear. The least any of you can do is give me until tomorrow night to think about how my entire life is one big lie."
"Or," she continued when it was obvious they were doubtful about leaving her alone, "should I assume I'm your prisoner? Are you going to bring out the chains and manacles next? Or are you just going to drug me for the next four months?"
"Alexandra!" Josiah said. "Do not speak to our Maker like that! He's your father and deserves more respect."
"Eat silver and choke, Josiah Makhaira," she snapped. "Just … all of you go away. I need some time to myself and I don't give a damn about how any of you feel right now, okay?"
"We will be back for you tomorrow, Alexandra," her father said. "Please, realize that this is difficult for all of us, but that you will be happy. This sorrow will pass."
She turned her back, looking out onto the sea. She heard the whoosh of them moving at vamp speed and she waited motionlessly until she heard them get into their cars and drive away.
She was alone and had never felt more so in her entire life.
She continued to stand silently and unmoving for several more minutes before she finally broke and dropped down onto one of the couches her head in her hands. The soft touch of a cool nose against her hand made her look over and she smiled tremulously at her clearly concerned cat.
"Mara," she whispered and swept her up into her arms. She buried her face in her pet's fluffy fur, her mind spinning in a hundred directions.
"I can't stay here," she whispered. "And I can't stay with my nest, either. How can I forgive them?"
Her cat purred and rubbed her face against Alex's. Alex shook her head, and the weight of her hair comb made her bite her lip to repress the sudden surge of agony.
"He doesn't want me."
She was so tired, and when she glanced around the gazebo and saw all the torn pillows and ruined dishes, she bit back a choked sob. "How could I have been so stupid? I just … I never thought that he was humoring a kid. I've known it for the 'truth' so long that it never occurred to me to question it. I thought he loved me," she said softly.
It felt like the horrible time in Chicago when she thought he preferred a donor over her because she wasn't good enough. The ache in her chest threatened to send her to her knees, and she supposed this is what it felt like to have a broken heart.
"I thought …"
She reached up and removed her hair comb, her fingers moving over the much-loved carving. "I feel so stupid. Just a stupid, foolish, and naive little girl."
Her cat chirped and flopped across her lap and Alex gently stroked over her ears, her mind quickly coming up with a plan.
She pulled out her phone and texted Sasha, grimly smiling when she read the WereSwan's reply.
Before she could leave, there was one final thing she needed to do.
With a sigh, she rose to her feet and moved towards the house.
The room was completely destroyed.
Godric stood in the center of what had once been the entertainment room. The tv, couches, and even the fireplace mantel had fallen victim to his rage and now feathers and chunks of wood littered the floor.
The windows were shattered, the walls deeply gouged from his fingers, and even the four-hundred-year-old stone floor was heavily damaged. He vaguely remembered running footsteps as his staff came to investigate, and their screams as they fled when his power surged beyond his control. He hoped none of them had been harmed, but at the moment he could care less.
Godric picked up the still mostly intact coffee table and threw it at the wall. He wanted to rip the world apart, his fury so deep it blew open the bonds he had with his Children. He could feel them desperately trying to send calm, but he swatted them away. His phone rang in his pocket, and with barely a thought he crushed the flimsy human device in his hand.
She loved him. Had loved him for years, and he had been forced to rip her heart in two. He would always remember that sound she made, as if he had dealt her a mortal wound.
How the gods must truly hate him, he realized bitterly. It took two thousand years for him to fall in love and to be loved in return … and it was by the one woman he could never have. He had been shocked when she kissed him, but not so surprised that he was immobile. The chaste kiss had been barely more than a brush of lips, but he treasured it.
How had he been so blind? He was often asked by kings and queens alike for his wisdom and insight, yet he had been completely oblivious to her feelings for him. For fuck's sake, he had been oblivious to his own until recently.
Now, looking back, it was so obvious. She had been unofficially declaring her interest for years, and he had never realized. Had somehow forgotten or willfully overlooked that while she was human, her mind and actions were that of a vampire.
With the curse of perfect recall, he knew he would always remember how small her hand had felt in his, how her cheek had brushed his fingers as she had so sweetly asked for his love in return. How she had stood there, emotions naked for everyone to see as she declared her heart.
It was one of the bravest things he had ever seen.
He clenched his eyes shut and shoved his hand into a nearby wall, the material turning to dust. When she had asked for the right to Court him, his heart had practically leapt in his chest. In the past, he had reacted violently to those who tried to put any claim on him, yet with Alex he had wanted to accept, and to prove his worthiness in return.
"Godric?"
He stilled at her hoarse voice, forcing all of his emotions behind a wall. He had never wanted her to see him this way, to see him so out of control. He kept his back turned to her, not wanting her to see his fangs. She shifted, and he could see her warped reflection in the few panes of glass left in the window. She carried something with her, a box of some sort.
"Godric?" Alex asked again after a lengthy pause. When he still didn't turn she glanced around the ruined room, tugging on the sweatshirt and jeans she had hastly put on when she got her box from her bedroom. What had pissed him off so badly?
She mentally shrugged. She was exhausted, and just wanted to get this over with so she could lick her wounds in peace.
"Yes?" he said calmly.
She bit back a flinch at his tone. "I wanted to … apologize. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you this evening with my feelings. Or forced myself on you. I … I just … I didn't think."
She closed her own eyes and clutched the box tighter to her chest, trying to find some measure of dignity. "I just wanted to give you this," she whispered. "I do love you, Godric. And … I hope that you find someone you can love as much as I do you. You deserve it. You're the best man I know, no matter what you did in your past or what anyone else says. I'll never let anyone talk badly about you in front of me," she vowed softly. "Even though you don't feel the same way … it's been a privilege knowing you. You made the last few years so wonderful for me. Thank you."
Not knowing what else to say she shuffled forward past the twisted form of what she thought had been a couch, and held out the box in her hands. When he still did not turn she carefully placed it on the ruined mound of fabric, her fingers trembling so badly that the lid was knocked off when she hastily pulled her hands away.
She could feel the burn of tears growing and knew she wouldn't be able to keep her composure for long. She turned and practically ran towards the door.
She didn't know what hit her. One moment she was leaving, her heart in a thousand pieces, the next she was shoved up against a wall, a hard thigh between her legs and being kissed within an inch of her life.
Godric glanced down at the open box and pain twisted like a knife in his gut. He saw the childish scrawled hearts on the lid with their initials, the preserved night-blooming flowers, a sloppily folded tunic, and the lid of a ball jar.
His heart throbbed when he saw his own handwriting across the lid, remembering the circumstances behind the impromptu gift.
Always.
He saw the book he had bought her as a child, the binding worn from many readings.
She had kept these simple items all these years as if they were the most expensive and precious gifts ever received.
His despair only increased when he saw the hair comb and his Bloodlines necklace, realizing that she meant to fully break away from him. He knew it would always happen, but he thought he would have several more months.
The glint of light off of metal made him frown. He shifted a few of the items and his breath caught at the most gorgeous Bonding Blade he had ever seen.
It was almost complete, and he knew it had to have been the Courting gift she had planned to give him. It was beautiful, the design reminiscent of the serpent tattoo on his back surrounded by fireflies. It was simple yet elegant and unlike the dozens of ostentatious knives that had been presented- and viciously refused- over the centuries. Overly decorated knives from those who tried to impress with wealth and ego, not caring about the man behind the reputation and position.
It was … perfect.
His head turned towards his Firefly as she reached through the door, and before he even realized what he was doing, he moved.