Okay, I have to tell you all something about this chapter: This is actually the first chapter I ever wrote for this story, and I wrote it all the way back in... July, I think? Maybe June. I have been painstakingly waiting since then to finally be able to upload this chapter, and now that everything that comes before it has FINALLY been written and uploaded, I can honestly tell you all that this is still my favorite chapter that I've written yet. So I really, really hope you all like it. Brace yourselves.
Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks, and during that time Clarke focused on her people while Lexa focused on hers, miles and miles away from each other. They did what they had to, trying from afar to keep a brittle peace holding between two peoples who neither liked nor trusted each other. The work, though frustrating at times, was important, and they both knew it. Their people needed them, even if Clarke had still yet to truly figure out what her role among her own people had become, and so during those minutes, hours and days, they did their best to push the other girl from their minds, only allowing themselves fleeting thoughts here and there, and if any of their people noticed the small way their lips would tug up just from those small escaped thoughts, no one asked, though Lexa noticed more than one smug look from Taigon and Clarke noticed more than one curious look from her mother, Bellamy and Octavia. When they noticed the looks, they would carefully wipe the smile from their faces, hiding their thoughts and feelings behind the masks they had both learned, Clarke more recently than Lexa, were necessary when walking among the people who looked to them to lead.
But then those days would crawl together to form three weeks, and Clarke would slip away from Arkadia and get lost in the woods, her mother and Bellamy spending the entire day wondering where she had gone and silently fearing she wouldn't be back, and Lexa would ride out of Polis, her head held high as a number of her people would gather around to watch her go, their eyes shining as they thought of the great things their wonderful Heda had accomplished and was surely riding out to accomplish more. Taigon had an idea of what his sister was truly up to, and so simply stood back, a small smile etched across his face, knowing that when she came back his sister would be returning as well as the Commander, and he could never do anything but look forward to it and hope that Clarke would be as happy to see Lexa as he knew his sister was to be seeing the blonde. She never said anything, but Reese had a pretty good idea who Clarke left to see every three weeks too, and the thought made her want to ask the blonde to take her with her, but she knew better than to try to invite herself along: if Clarke wanted her there, she'd ask her. So she patiently waited, hoping someday she'd get to see the Commander again.
They could never be together for more than a few hours: that's just how it worked. They would meet, often time at the little stream they had found that first meeting, and they would spend hours together, talking, hunting, training, reading, and mapping each others bodies. They would get lost in one another, finding the freedom that they only allowed themselves during these few short hours, and while never enough, they clung to them because it was all they had.
So at the moment, to say Lexa had a hard time paying attention to her surroundings would have been an understatement. Though they were supposed to be out for a ride to enjoy the sights of the earth, being pressed so close to Clarke made everything else disappear from the Commander's mind. With the blonde girl sitting in front of her on the horse, Lexa's world became one of gold with Clarke's hair directly in her face, and she had no doubt that it was the most beautiful sight she would ever find. That was only until Clarke would turn around slightly and the brunette would get a glimpse of the other girl's face. That, she knew, was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. As they rode through the woods, it was getting more and more difficult to look away from the Sky girl in front of her, and honestly, she didn't mind at all. She enjoyed watching the bliss on the other girl's face, enjoyed feeling the excitement that emanated from the blonde's very being. Lexa knew that only part of that excitement was due to their sight-seeing; after all, Clarke had been on the earth for months now, and had gotten used to these woods. She had lived in them throughout the long winter, seeing the white world around them after each snow storm sparkling with the white crystals. Now that the winter was coming to an end, those crystals had begun to melt away, and the earth had begun to come alive again, small buds appearing in the bare trees around them. All of this the blonde had seen from her cave, and then more of once she returned to her people. No, Lexa knew that much of the blonde's excitement came from being pressed so close to the Commander, just as much of her own excitement was due to having the Sky girl's back pressed against her front, her arms reaching around the blonde in order to hold the reins. Sure, by this time Clarke could easily guide the horse herself, but Lexa enjoyed using the excuse to have her arms around her, and she sensed that Clarke enjoyed it too.
The Commander closed her eyes, breathing in Clarke's unique scent and nearly getting lost in it, when suddenly she felt it, and the ease of the moment suddenly slipped away. She didn't know what exactly "it" was, but her senses were now on the alert, aware that something was wrong. It had been thanks to her senses that she had made it this far as Commander to her people, and had learned many years ago to trust them, so the moment they screeched at her, she listened. It was only then that she realized how quiet it had become. She didn't hear any scampering of small animals in the snow along the ground, or squirrels running up trees. She didn't hear a single bird calling, or even moving from one branch to another, and that's when the feeling clicked into place and she knew: they were being hunted.
All of this swirled through her mind in a moment, and as soon as the realization registered, she opened her eyes, her face set as she scanned the trees around her, darting from base to top, knowing their predator was watching them from somewhere.
Clarke must have felt Lexa tense up, because the next moment she turned partially around from her seat in front of the brunette, a frown on her face.
"What is it?" she asked quietly, seeing Lexa's troubled expression.
She didn't answer, instead still scanning the trees, and suddenly she saw it: a slight movement in one of the trees many yards in front of them. She registered the bow just as the arrow was loosed, flying straight towards the girl sitting in front of her.
Lexa didn't think, she just reacted. Her arms tightened around Clarke, one hand grabbing her arm while the other held tightly to the reins, and as she tugged on the rein to turn the horse, she also used all of her strength to throw Clarke from where she sat, out of the line of the arrow.
Clarke had no time to react: one moment, she was sitting atop the horse pushed tightly against Lexa, and the next she was flying through the air before landing in the muddy snow. For a moment her world went white, snow blocking her view of everything else. She fought to push herself out of the wet that threatened to swallow her up, and finally managed to get herself on her feet, wiping the dirty snow out of her face as she stood, clumps of the it clinging to her skin and clothes. She scowled and turned back towards the horse, ready to give Lexa a piece of her mind for that really not funny trick, but the moment she saw the brunette the words got lodged in her throat. Lexa had doubled over, but as she sat back up, the only thing Clarke could look at was the end of an arrow sticking out of the other girl's left shoulder.
Everything happened too quickly after that. Lexa reached down and dug through the saddlebag, completely ignoring the arrow sticking out of her shoulder and looking for the gun she knew Clarke had brought with her. She'd brought it every time they'd met up, this time sticking it in the saddlebag the moment they'd decided to go for a ride, not realizing she might need it. When she didn't immediately find it, she swore under her breath and instead grabbed the bow and quiver of arrows that Clarke had attached to the bag in case they wanted to do any hunting. She used her knife to deftly cut through the ties connecting it to the bag, and tossed both bow and arrows down to the blonde, even as another arrow flew through the air and pierced her thigh, merely grunting from the pain. That was when Clarke realized she had turned the horse so that beast and rider were blocking her from the line of fire, shielding her from their enemies. Her mind remained calm even as another arrow flew through the air, this time missing her by mere inches and passing right over her, and she felt her entire being shifting into the warrior she'd been trained to be ever since she was five years old. The moment the weapons were out of her hand, Lexa grabbed the first arrow shaft and broke it so that there wasn't as much of it sticking out of her body, and then she did the same with the second. She then reached behind her and drew her sword from its sheath, arming herself for combat as she breathed steadily through her nose, keeping her heartbeat under control as it threatened to quicken. A roar suddenly reached Clarke's ears and she could see from behind the horse that a group of Grounders were charging at them from their own horses, their own swords drawn.
"Clarke, get behind that tree over there!" Lexa ordered, gesturing behind them, and Clarke turned to find a large tree that had fallen long ago, its trunk big enough to take shelter behind, "Find the bowmen in the trees and take them out! I will take this group."
Lexa didn't give Clarke time to argue. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the Commander kicked her mount forward, completely ignoring the two arrow shafts sticking out of her body. Still fighting to register everything that was going on, Clarke scrambled to grab the bow and fit an arrow to it even as she turned towards the trunk, swearing at herself for not having her gun on her. While her work with bow and arrow had certainly improved over the past couple of months, never before had she needed to fire an arrow at a person, and the uncertainty she felt now at having to do so for the first time desperately made her want her gun. Please, she begged silently, though she didn't know who or what she was begging to, Please, just let us get out of this safely, and I swear I will never walk around without my gun again.
The moment she was safely behind the trunk, she peered over it, and had to duck down immediately as another arrow came flying through the air, this time soaring directly at her. The arrow hit the trunk with a solid thunk, and as soon as she heard it, Clarke was back up, peering into the trees. She followed the path of the arrow into the branches, and there, high above her she saw another Grounder. He was making some sort of signal, and Clarke scanned the area, quickly finding a second Grounder in a tree many yards away from the first. He had his arrow set and drawn, and Clarke realized too late that his aim was at the Commander, locked into battle still atop her horse with five other Grounders. The blonde pulled her string back and quickly took aim, firing the moment she could, but she wasn't able to get the arrow off before he let his own fly. Somehow Lexa had seen it, or sensed it even as her sword locked with one of her enemies, because she shifted them, putting her enemy right in the line of fire, and the arrow sprouted right in the center of his back. She then roughly pushed her now dying enemy away from her, turning just in time to block one of the other Grounders' downward cuts with his own blade, her horse rearing back and using its front legs to keep another enemy away while Lexa dealt with the first.
Seeing Lexa alright for the moment, Clarke shifted her attention back to the two Grounders in the trees, once again dodging just in time to miss being struck with an arrow that suddenly came flying right above her head. She took a quick breath and then jumped up, immediately taking aim. Her first arrow had missed its target as well, embedding itself in the tree a few feet above the Grounder, but this time Clarke took the breath that she needed to aim, and then fired. Her enemy was at a disadvantage, not being able to hide behind his own tree, and took the arrow in the leg. As soon as the first arrow was gone, Clarke grabbed another, fit it to the bow, and loosed again, hitting the same Grounder in the chest. This time he lost his balance when the arrow hit, and then fell, and even from far away Clarke could hear him crashing against branches as he fell to the earth. She ducked again as the second Grounder set his sights on her, but this time she wasn't quite quick enough, and she swore when she felt a sharp sting on her arm. The arrow had only grazed her, so rather than deal with the wound then, she bit her lip hard and stood up again. This time she knew exactly where the Grounder was in his tree, so she needed no more than a quick second to set her sights on him, and then she fired. She got him in the side. He ignored the wound and drew his bow again, but she was ready with a second arrow to her bow and let loose just a split second before he did, dropping as soon as the arrow flew from her fingers. The next second she heard another thunk as his arrow hit her trunk again, and carefully she peered over the edge to find if she had hit him or not. What she saw horrified her: her arrow had pierced his throat, and he was clawing at it, both hands curled around the shaft of wood. He yanked it out of his neck, just as his foot slipped in his own blood, and he followed his friend down to the ground. Clarke knew he would be dead before he hit the snow: she had pierced his jugular when she hit him, and pulling the arrow only made him bleed out faster.
Trying to swallow the bile that had risen in her throat but unable to, Clarke turned from the trees back to Lexa. The Commander still managed to sit atop her horse, holding her own. Clarke counted, and saw that of her five original opponents, only three remained. The man she had used as a shield against the arrow lay on the ground, getting trampled beneath all of the hooves above him. A second person, this one a woman, also lay on the ground, and though she moved around some, Clarke could see she couldn't stand up, but she was too far away to see why. Both of their horses were nowhere to be found, clearly having run away the moment their riders fell from them. The other three enemies circled her, clearly made weary of the brunette's skill by their fallen comrades. Though she still seemed alert to even the smallest movement, Clarke could tell that Lexa was getting tired, and she knew she had to do something. She reached into the quiver, but was shocked when only one arrow brushed against her hand. She looked down and confirmed that there was only a single arrow left: when she'd left Arkadia that morning, she hadn't really planned to use the bow at all, and so had only taken the six arrows with her.
Shaking her head at her stupidity, Clarke grabbed the single arrow and jumped over the tree trunk, running closer to where Lexa stood, still surrounded. If she only had one shot, she had to make it count, and the best way to do that was to get as close as possible. She tried to be quiet as she ran, but she still hadn't perfectly mastered Lexa's ways of moving silently, so she was heard, and two of the Grounders turned their focus to her. One grinned when he saw her, and the other only stared her down, but they both turned towards her, their swords raised as they kicked their horses into action. Lexa saw this all happen with wide eyes, and a sudden burst of energy made her kick her own horse after them.
Clarke continued to run towards them, even as the two turned and charged at her. Only when she had cleared more than half the distance between them did she drop to one knee and raise her bow up, the arrow already on the string. She aimed at the closest Grounder, still charging at her and waited, her breath stuck in her chest. She had to kill him immediately or he would kill her before she could so much as move out of the way.
One breath.
She could feel his horse's hooves beating the ground, drawing closer.
A second breath.
Her own heart beating in her ears drowned out every other sound.
A third breath.
She looked him in the eyes: he was close enough now that she could see they were a dark, deep gray.
She let the arrow loose…
And watched as it hit him directly between those gray eyes, the force of the arrow throwing his body back.
She had to duck and roll out of the way to avoid his horse from trampling her, and as the beast passed her, she heard a small thud and looked up to find his body lying just a few feet away from her, his eyes still open and piercing into her as though to blame her for the lifelessness that had suddenly taken over his form.
"Clarke!"
Hearing the cry of her name caused her to look up, her gaze wrenched from the lifeless body next to her, and instead she turned to a still very alive Grounder charging right at her. The woman on this horse had her sword raised, and she was close enough that Clarke knew she wasn't going to get away in time. She just stared up in horror as the woman began to bring her arm down to land the final strike to the Sky girl…
But the strike never came. Instead Clarke watched as a sudden look of pain and surprise erupted on the woman's face, and she fell forward before she slid off the side of her horse. Clarke had to tuck and roll away again to avoid another set of hooves, and this time when she looked up the woman who had tried to kill her lay face-down on the ground, Lexa's sword sticking out of her back. Another set of hooves rode towards her, but this time when she looked up it was the Commander herself, and the moment she reached Clarke, she slowed the horse down, turning it away from the blonde still on the ground so that she could face their final enemy. When she turned however, the final attacker was gone, having fled as his last two companions died. Lexa took a long moment to scan their surroundings to make sure the enemy had completely disappeared. When she decided they were all gone, she nearly threw herself off her horse and ran over to Clarke, still sitting in the snow, looking around herself somewhat dazed. The moment she was close enough, the Commander grabbed the other girl by the arms and yanked her to her feet roughly.
"What were you doing?" she screamed, and Clarke blinked, realizing she had never heard Lexa use that tone before, "Were you trying to kill yourself? Were you trying to kill me?! I thought my heart stopped when I saw you drop in front of that horse! Do not ever do that again! Do you understand me?!"
Before Clarke could respond, Lexa pulled her in, kissing her roughly. She felt Lexa grab her hips and pull her in as close as she possibly could, her grip so strong Clarke knew she would leave bruises, but she didn't care. Suddenly everything that had just happened washed over Clarke, and she grabbed the back of Lexa's head, tangling her fingers into the brunette's hair and pulling her closer as well. The kiss was long, and it was rough, a tornado of lips and teeth and feelings, fear and worry and frayed nerves all battling for control. They kissed until they couldn't breathe, and then kissed some more, finally pulling away only when it became absolutely necessary. Only their lips pulled apart, while their foreheads remained pressed together, and they opened their eyes to search the other, to make sure they were really still there.
"Never. Do that. Again," Lexa repeated more calmly this time, and Clarke nodded, even though she had done it to save Lexa, and even though she most certainly would do it again if she had to. Now was not the time to argue, however, it was the time to be thankful to be alive, so Clarke just kept nodding. Lexa grabbed her face and kissed her again, this time kissing her slowly, carefully, as though she was just thankful to be able to do it again. Which was exactly why she did it. As she pulled away this time, she let out a shaky breath. She then pulled back, and stood up straight, turning to the enemies on the ground. She glared at them all, and Clarke could see her hatred for these people rolling off of her, almost palpable. Her gaze moved to look around her as well, but the first thing she saw were the two arrow shafts still protruding from Lexa's body.
"We have to take care of those," the blonde told her worriedly, motioning to the shafts, but Lexa just shook her head ever so slightly. Her gaze had fallen on one of her earlier victims, the woman who Clarke had seen laying on the ground, still alive but unable to move. When the two walked towards her, Clarke could see why: the back of one knee had been slashed, almost clean through, and she had a long diagonal gash from her shoulder to the opposite hip. She was losing blood fast, to the point where Clarke was a little surprised she was still alive.
Lexa limped up to the woman, her face pulled into its usual Commander mask, but with hate now shining in her eyes. As she passed her final victim, she reached out and yanked her sword out of the woman's back, and when she reached the woman still alive on the ground, she lowered its blade to the woman's throat.
"You will tell me why you tried to kill me," she spat out, absolutely no mercy in her voice. "You will tell me who sent you."
The woman just stared up at her, and Clarke could see the defiance in her eyes, but also the resignation. She knew she was about to die, but she wouldn't beg, or plead, or tell Lexa what she wanted to hear. She merely lifted her chin, exposing more of her throat, clearly inviting Lexa to do it, to just get it over with. Lexa clenched her jaw, and then spat out, "Yu gonplei ste odon," before she sliced the woman's throat, killing her immediately.
The two stayed still for a moment, letting everything from the past few minutes sink in. Finally Clarke asked quietly without taking her eyes off the dead woman, "Who would do this? Why would they attack you? Or were they trying to attack me, and you just got in the way?"
"They were after me," Lexa replied in a clipped voice, "They had orders… to kill me."
At that, Clarke turned to the taller girl, a look of confusion and worry on her face.
"But… But you're their Commander! You're the Heda; who would order them to kill you like this and think they could get away with it?!" she cried, her nerves still a jumbled mess inside her and not understanding what was going on.
Lexa stood quietly for a moment before she gestured to the woman's shoulder, drawing Clarke's gaze back to the body. Beneath the blood that had pooled from the woman's chest wound, she could make out some kind of scar that appeared to be some sort of design, but she had no idea what it was supposed to be, so she simply turned back to Lexa, shaking her head slightly, not understanding.
"It is… the symbol of the Ice Nation," the brunette informed her quietly, breathing heavily, "They use scarification to mark themselves, rather than... tattoos. The Ice Queen sent her soldiers to… kill me. Now I must… Go." She turned to walk towards her horse, but before she could take more than three steps, she fell forward on her knees, one hand going to her side, the other reaching out in front of her to brace herself on the snow.
"Lexa!" Clarke exclaimed, and ran to her, falling beside her.
When Lexa moved the hand that held her side, Clarke saw that it was covered in blood. She gasped as she looked closer: Lexa's black clothes had hidden another battle wound. Sometime during her fight, she must have taken a sword to the side, leaving behind a long gash. Gently Clarke felt at the wound and swore: it was deeper than it looked, and Lexa was losing a lot of blood. When she looked up at her face, she saw sweat beading on the taller girl's forehead, and Clarke's blood nearly froze as she suddenly remembered that many Grounders used poison on their weapons.
"Clarke…" Lexa began, reaching out as she tried to stand back up, but her hand was shaking, and she began to fall forward before Clarke caught her.
"Shhh," the blonde soothed her, trying desperately to keep the sudden and debilitating fear out of her voice, "Shhh, it's okay, I've got you." She carefully turned Lexa around in her arms, and then gently laid her on the ground, holding the brunette's head in her lap. She leaned down and gently kissed her forehead before telling her softly, "I'm gonna go get a couple of things from the saddlebags, okay? I'll be right back."
Lexa licked her suddenly very dry lips and nodded slightly before she reached up and wrapped her fingers around what was left of the shaft sticking from her shoulder. She grit her teeth, about to push it all the way through when Clarke's hand shot out, fingers wrapping tightly around her wrist and stopping the motion. Surprised, Lexa looked up at Clarke, easily reading the fear in her eyes even as she tried to remain calm.
"Don't," she just said, fingers tightening around the brunette's wrist a bit further. "Leave it in for now. Pushing it through might only make things worse. Don't do anything until I'm back, okay?"
The younger girl didn't release her wrist until Lexa nodded once again, and then Clarke gently held her head up as she moved back, before placing it gently on the ground. She then stood up and rushed over to Lexa's horse, which had moved away from all of the bodies on the ground, clearly not liking the scent of blood. The blonde threw open the saddle bag and immediately pulled out the extra shirt she found in it and a canteen with water. After another moment of digging around, she pulled out her gun as well which had been resting on the bottom of the bag beneath everything else. Not trusting that another attack wouldn't come at them before they could get to safety, she tucked it into the back of her pants where she could easily reach it. She then grabbed the horse's reins and pulled the beast back over to where Lexa was laying on the ground. She let go of the reins a few feet away from the other girl and this time the horse stayed where it was while she pulled her knife from her belt and began tearing the extra shirt into strips. As soon as it was cut up, she lowered herself to her knees next to the Commander, and began trying to bind the other girl's injuries, completely forgetting about her own wound on her arm. Once the bandages were on as best as she could get them, she moved back to Lexa's head, placing it gently on her lap once again. She grabbed the canteen and held it to Lexa's lips.
"Lexa, I need you to drink some water now," she said soothingly, the way she would talk to a young child. Lexa's eyes were closed, and for a brief moment Clarke was afraid that she had passed out, but the other girl nodded slightly, tried to swallow, and then parted her lips. Clarke carefully lifted the canteen to her lips and poured some water into them, and while much of it ran out the sides of her mouth, she did manage to drink some of it. Clarke stroked Lexa's hair, looking at the make-shift bandages she'd just put on her: already each one had begun to dye a slight red, the wound at her side soaking the cloth the fastest. She leaned down and placed another gentle kiss to the brunette's forehead, desperately trying to calm the wild beating of her heart as she told her softly, "Okay Lexa, now we have to get you somewhere safe, and get you taken care of."
The brunette nodded, and finally opened her eyes. She tried to get up, but she only had the strength to sit up, needing Clarke to help pull her to her feet. Her head had begun to spin, and she knew that only some of the reaction came from the blood loss: the Ice Nation, as always, were ruthless cowards, and had coated their weapons in poison. She ignored that knowledge, knowing there was nothing she could do about that fact now other than try to fight against it. Once she was standing, Clarke held one arm around her shoulder, supporting the taller girl as she led her to the horse. She stopped them only so she could bend down and pick up Lexa's sword, and then she took the sheath from Lexa's back and put it on her own, sheathing the weapon behind her. They then began moving again, and once they reached the horse, Clarke helped Lexa to mount, pushing her up on the horse's back and then helping her get settled as best she could. Once up, Lexa shook her head, trying to clear it before she took the reins.
"The healers in Polis… will take care of me," she informed Clarke, her breathing still labored, "And then, we will… strike the Ice… Nation."
She suddenly felt a thud behind her, and then arms circle around her tightly.
"You'll never make it to Polis on your own," Clarke told her, taking the reins from her and urging the horse forward, "You'd fall off within the first hour of riding if not before."
Lexa shook her head, clenching her jaw as the movement of the horse beneath her caused pain to shoot through her many wounds.
"You cannot go to Polis, Clarke," she said through her clenched teeth, "My people… might think you did this. If I am unconscious when we get there… you could be dead before I even wake up. Not even Taigon or Ryder would be able to... to keep you safe."
Clarke set her jaw determinedly, just urging the horse to move faster.
"I know," she replied quietly, "But we're not going to Polis. We're going to Arkadia. To my people."
Lexa's eyes widened, and she turned to look at Clarke, even though her entire body screamed in protest to the movement as her wounds burned against her flesh.
"No," she growled, and reached to take the reins from the blonde, but she just held on to them tighter.
"Yes," Clarke informed her, not wavering in her decision as their bodies moved with the horse running beneath them, "My camp is closer than either Polis or Tondc. We'll get there within an hour. It would take much longer than that to get to your people, and you don't have that kind of time. You need help and you need it immediately. My people will take care of you. I will take care of you, Lexa."
Lexa clenched her fists, wanting to argue more, but she could feel by the hard set of Clarke's body that she was not going to give in, and Lexa did not have the energy for a fight.
Unfortunately, that was what worried her: if Clarke's people attacked her, she was in no position to defend herself. At the moment, she was having a hard enough time staying atop her horse, and that was even with Clarke's arms around her and body pressed close to her. She doubted she would have the strength to lift her sword, and even if she did, there was no way she would have the energy to actually use it. She was defenseless, and even though her people were technically at peace with theirs, they all knew that she had been the one to choose to take the deal at Mount Weather, which meant the majority of the hatred in that camp all swirled around her. However, though she may not trust the Sky People as a whole, she trusted Clarke, and they were her people. If Clarke said she would be safe, then she would have to believe it, and trust in the other girl to keep true to her word. So far she, at least, had given Lexa no reason not to believe in her, and so she would, even if all of her instincts were screaming at her to turn around. She would trust Clarke, and Clarke would keep her safe: she had to trust in that.
As the horse raced through the trees, Clarke kept her arms around the girl in front of her. She could tell from the tension in Lexa's body that she was fighting to stay conscious, but was slowly losing the fight. Her body kept pushing against Clarke's arms, and if it weren't for the girl behind her, she would have fallen off the horse before they had gone more than a mile. Lexa hated feeling so weak: she hadn't fallen off of a horse since she was seven, and she could still remember Anya's smirk pointed at her as the little girl had pulled herself out of the mud. She couldn't remember the last time she had so little strength, and riding into what could possibly be enemy territory did not make her feel better about it. It did, however, keep her eyes open and her mind as alert as possible. If Clarke was wrong, Lexa refused to die unconscious: she would stare her enemies down with her last breath, even if she couldn't lift her sword to defend herself.
Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime to Clarke, they broke through the dense trees and galloped into the open area that led right up to the gate to Arkadia. Clarke only bothered to slow the horse down once they'd made it halfway through the snow-covered field, and she could see movement from the top of the gate. She swore, realizing that from where she was sitting behind Lexa the guards on duty probably couldn't see her, instead just seeing the Commander of the Grounders racing towards the camp. Her hands tensing even harder around the reins, Clarke shifted her weight and braced her feet in the stirrups, standing up so that she could peer over Lexa's head, and therefore be clearly seen herself. The muscles in her arms tensed as well, holding herself in place as she continued to brace the brunette in front of her. When she got close enough, she slowed the horse down even further, though they continued to move forward. She took in a deep breath, and then bellowed in her loudest voice, "Open the gate!"
They were only a few dozen yards away when she finally saw movement, and the gate started to open, albeit a bit slowly. She could hear shouting from the guards on lookout, and as soon as the gates were open enough for them to get through she urged the horse forward, entering the camp. She didn't have time to worry about what their welcome would be like, didn't have time to worry about the guns that were sure to be pointed at them the moment they stepped through that door: all she could think about, all that raced through her mind at the moment was Lexa, and the fact that the brunette stiffened even further in front of her, leaning even more heavily against her.
The gates shut firmly behind them without her saying so, and she knew her people were suddenly worried about an attack. Already a small group had formed a few yards in front of her, and it was only growing. She couldn't worry about that, though. She sat back on the saddle as she brought the horse to a stop, and she could feel Lexa's fear and tension rolling off of her. It mixed well with the fear that was rolling off of Clarke, but she knew they were afraid of very different things. Lexa, she knew, was solely focused on the crowd in front of her, while Clarke's sole focus was Lexa and her wounds. Clarke scanned the crowd, searching for one person in particular, and when she finally saw Abby push her way to the front of the crowd, she let out a breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding.
"Mom!" she cried, swinging one leg around the horse and then jumping to the ground, her arms going straight to Lexa once she stood, to continue to hold her up. Lexa made no move to get off the horse, and Clarke knew she figured she would need the higher position if things went wrong.
Abby rushed to Clarke, but then stopped a few feet away, her eyes darting back and forth between her daughter and the girl still sitting on the horse who was now glaring down at her. Her eyes immediately took inventory of the sight in front of her, noticing first the blood stains on her daughter's arms and across her dark jacket, and then the blood stains on Clarke's hands as she held the Commander in place on the horse. She noticed the way the Commander's body swayed slightly on the horse and how her eyes continually moved in and out of focus. At first sight that was all she saw, but when she took another step forward she could see the broken arrow shafts sticking out of the Commander's shoulder and thigh as well.
"Clarke!" Abby exclaimed, her brain trying to register the whole sight in less than a second, "What happened? What's going on?"
Clarke just shook her head, a slightly panicked expression on her face.
"No time to explain, Lexa needs help!" she replied urgently, and she began gently tugging at Lexa, trying to get her off the horse, but the Grounder used the little strength she had left to resist, her eyes still scanning first Abby's face and then the entire crowd. Clarke growled, frustrated, and then she told her, "Lexa, come on, you need to get those wounds cleaned and taken care of! Please! We need to stop the bleeding!"
Kane suddenly pushed his way through the crowd, running up next to Abby, his eyes wide in confusion, probably matching her own expression.
"The Commander?" he breathed, thoroughly shocked, and everyone around him heard him, and then a ripple ran through the crowd, and an ocean of whispers roared all around them.
Lexa's eyes darted from face to face, even as Clarke tried once again to get her off the horse, her heart beating rapidly in her chest, knowing it wasn't only from the poison that she could feel spreading through her veins. She saw Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy and Raven at the front of the crowd, worry and suspicion clearly written across their faces as they looked from Clarke and herself to the people around them. Her fingers clenched tightly around the reins she'd grabbed the moment Clarke had dropped them, and her horse, catching her nerves, fidgeted beneath her. Her heart raced in her chest, and the faster it beat the blurrier her vision got. The blurrier her vision got, the faster her heart beat. She shook her head, the movement barely perceptible as she tried to clear her vision as she continually scanned the crowd before her. Her eyes finally stopped on one figure as a man pressed forward, breaking to the front of the crowd but staying near his people, not stepping forward as Clarke's mother and Kane had.
"Clarke," she whispered down to the blonde without taking her eyes off the man, and when the leader of the Skaikru looked up at her, she followed Lexa's gaze to the man whose jaw was clenched and glaring daggers at the Commander.
"What is she doing here?" the man growled loud enough for everyone to hear him, and the whispers suddenly died down, "She doesn't belong here. She turned her back on us! Left our kids for dead! It's our time to turn our backs on her and let her die!"
A general murmur ran through the crowd, and Lexa's fingers itched for her sword, but Clarke had taken it and put it in the sheath she now wore on her back, and the Commander didn't have the strength or agility to take it back. Instead she sat tense, her nerves screaming at her to run, but she had no way to do that, so she had to trust Clarke instead. She shifted nervously from her seat atop the horse and waited to see how this would play out, eyes not moving from the man who had spoken even as the warriors with guns shifted in their stances, many of them clearly sharing the man's thoughts.
The blonde glared at the man, taking her hands off of Lexa, praying silently that the other girl would be able to hold herself up for just a minute. She walked quickly up to the man, her face set. She knew him: Terrence, father to one of the forty-seven who had been in Mount Weather. He had every right to be angry at Lexa, she knew, but she wasn't going to have it. Her fear beat so thickly in her veins that she didn't have time for compassion for the father, didn't have the mental capacity in that moment to remember that he had every reason to be angry. Instead all she could do, all she could think about, was Lexa and the wounds that riddled her body that needed to be taken care of now. Reaching him, she grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her eye level, shooting a glare at him she'd never known she was capable of making. Even though she was a few inches shorter than him, she could feel his confidence suddenly leaking out of him, his eyes widening in surprise.
"She is the commander of the entire Grounder army," Clarke spat at him, her eyes furious, "If she dies, we'll all be next, because every single one of her warriors will think we killed her, and they will get their revenge. Now. Step. Back."
He nodded frantically, and she let go of his shirt, giving him a slight push, causing him to stumble back. She wasn't being fair to him, she knew; after all, this was a man who had believed his child to be dead, and he was only angry at the person who had turned her back on them. He had every right to be angry at her, but right now the only thing Clarke could think about was getting Lexa into the infirmary and taken care of. She glanced at the crowd, glaring at them all, silently daring anyone else to step forward and challenge her.
One person did step forward.
As Terrence stumbled back, she saw a hand grab his shoulder, almost as though to brace him, but then another figure stepped out of the crowd and continued to push him back, stepping in front of him. Nygel moved forward, briefly meeting Clarke's eyes and giving her a small nod as her hands tightened on the spear she carried. She took a moment to look at the Commander, still sitting stiffly atop her horse, before she turned to face the crowd, holding her spear at the smallest angle across her body. Her eyes roamed over all of them, silently daring any of them to step forward.
Clarke reached out and gently squeeze Nygel's arm, silently thanking her. Giving those near her one more warning look, she turned back around, and swiftly moved back over to the horse, her hands going right back to where they had been on Lexa's side. She looked up at Lexa and nodded, silently telling her that it was alright, she was safe, and after a slight pause, Lexa returned the nod, and then shakily swung her non-wounded leg around the horse and allowed herself to slide down to the ground. If Clarke hadn't been there, she would have slid all the way down, because as her feet touched the trampled snow, she realized just about all her strength had left her, and there was no way she would be able to hold herself up. Clarke grabbed her though, helping her move her arm around her shoulder, while her own arms circled the taller girl's waist, having better leverage there. Suddenly Octavia stepped forward from the crowd, quickly moving to Lexa's other side.
"Heda," she said a bit stiffly, bowing her head slightly, and after a moment Lexa nodded back to her. The dark-haired Sky girl gestured for Lexa to put her other arm around her shoulder, and after a moment's hesitation, she did.
Watching the scene play out before her, Abby made a quick decision. She turned around, scanning the crowd, and almost immediately found who she was looking for.
"Jackson," she called to him, and his focused snapped to her, "Go prepare the infirmary."
He nodded to her, and then turned and pushed his way through the crowd, heading straight for the infirmary to get everything ready for her. As soon as she saw him go, Abby turned back around and moved swiftly to Clarke, who was working with Octavia to help the Commander limp towards the back of the camp where the infirmary was. As she fell in time with the three girls, she quickly scanned what she could see of the Grounder's injuries.
"What happened?" she asked, also noting the slight wince on her daughter's face and trying to figure out where the blonde was hurt as well.
"We were attacked," Clarke informed her, ignoring everyone but her mother and Lexa. Kane quickly got to work with a few guards, clearing the crowd away so that they could move in peace. The only people who were allowed to stay behind were Lincoln, Bellamy, Raven and Monty, who had shown up just as Lexa had been getting down from the horse, all who followed them in case they could help with anything. "A few warriors from the Ice Nation. Lexa held off five at once, but she got shot twice with arrows and cut at least once with a sword or a knife. Mom, I think they used poison on their weapons. She's been burning up for almost an hour!"
Abby nodded her head and then patted her daughter's shoulder, trying to ease her worry.
"It's alright Clarke, Lincoln told us about that a while ago and helped us collect plenty of antidote," she reminded the blonde, "She'll be okay."
Finally they reached the infirmary, and Bellamy and Lincoln cut in front of them to hold the door open for them so that all three girls could enter at once. Jackson stood on the far side of the room, various pieces of equipment all prepped and ready, and Abby rushed over to join him, moving straight to the sink they had set up so that she could wash her hands before she got started. Octavia and Clarke walked Lexa to one of the beds in the room, turning to help her sit down. As soon as she was down, Octavia stepped back and joined the others who still stood at the entrance to the infirmary. Clarke moved to step back as well, but suddenly she felt Lexa's grip on her arm tighten. She looked down at the brunette, and saw the Commander looking up at. While the expression in her eyes wasn't fear, it was the closest thing to it that Clarke had ever seen reflected in those green eyes, and that scared her.
"Clarke, do not leave," Lexa said softly, and though she didn't say it, they both heard the "me" that was dangling at the end of her order. She clenched her jaw, and Clarke couldn't tell if it was due from pain or if it was because the Commander believed she was showing weakness in front of others. Either way, Clarke's eyes widened in surprise when she added a barely audible, "Please," her voice breaking slightly.
Clarke's heart ached at the sight of the injured girl in front of her, and she took Lexa's hand in both of hers. She kissed it lightly, not caring that blood clung to Lexa's skin still from either her own wounds or those she dealt to her enemies or that there were others in the room to notice, and looked into the other girl's eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere," she promised, and she could see Lexa searching her eyes for the slightest lie. What she found instead was complete sincerity and another emotion that Lexa didn't dare to allow herself to think about at the moment, and finally she nodded, before she laid back on the bed, Clarke's hands still wrapped around her own.
/
He had watched everything from the back of the crowd. He had heard the shouts as Clarke rode inside the gate, heard the whisperings of her having a Grounder with her. He'd clenched his fists and followed, making sure to stay back and out of the way. He watched Abby move forward, and then had heard the ripple that spread through the crowd about who the Grounder was. When he heard that, he had frozen, his glare narrowing in on the girl still sitting on top of the horse. It was her. After all this time, he finally had a face to put to the title. This was the Commander, the one who he had unknowingly set all of his hopes on, and who had betrayed them, killing the girl he had grown to love. This was the woman he had vowed to get revenge on. Watching her sway on the horse, suddenly that revenge seemed so close, he almost felt giddy. Of course, he didn't actually feel giddy: he hadn't felt anything but sorrow and anger and hate since he returned from Mount Weather, but with the taste of revenge on his tongue, he thought that maybe, after today, he could feel something else.
As Octavia walked forward to help Clarke steady the Commander, Jasper turned away from the crowd, disappearing from sight. It was finally time.
/
Things moved quickly once they made it to the infirmary. Abby got right to work, Jackson and Clarke both helping her, following her orders as she barked them out.
"First things first," she stated to Lexa, moving over to the bed with a cup of something in her hands, "We need to get this antidote in you. Taking care of the wounds won't matter if the poison kills you while we do it."
Lexa, whose entire body had begun to shiver at this point, eyed the cup suspiciously, not taking it when Abby held it out to her. Clarke took it instead, giving Lexa a look.
"Lexa, you need to drink this," Clarke informed her, her tone leaving no room for argument.
The Commander merely continued to eye the cup, trying to swallow as she mumbled out, "… is poison."
The blonde growled at her, scared by how much the poison was clearly affecting the Grounder now that she was inside and lying down. She held the cup out, sliding her other arm beneath the other girl's head, helping her sit up just a bit when it was clear she didn't have the strength to hold her head up herself.
"It isn't poison, Lexa, I promise," she told the other girl, but as she just stared at the cup, her eyes going in and out of focus, Clarke helped her turn her head to look at her, and moved her face closer to the Commander's. "Hey," she said, her voice soft and reassuring, "It's me: I would never give you anything I thought would hurt you. Okay? So drink." Lexa just looked at her for a moment, licked her dry lips, and then nodded slightly. Clarke repositioned her head up, and then brought the cup to her lips and poured it back slowly, making sure the other girl drank it all. Once she had, she gently rested her head back down, before turning back to her mother, handing her the cup. "Now what?" she asked, her face set, trying not to let her worry show.
Abby was looking at Clarke, a strange expression on her face, but when the focus shifted back to her, the expression changed back and she handed the cup to Jackson, who in return handed her a sharp knife. She turned back to her daughter and the girl on the bed and informed them, "Now we get those arrows out." She looked down at the Commander, meeting hard eyes that would have been more intimidating if she'd been able to keep her focus from shifting in and out. "First I have to cut off your shirt, so we can easily get to the wounds." Lexa didn't argue, just clenched her jaw tightly as the older woman brought the knife towards her stomach, every instinct of hers telling her to attack the person moving a weapon close to her. She didn't, however, her jaw remaining clenched and closing her eyes as the knife ripped through her shirt. Even though she felt extremely warm from the fever that had taken over her body, she shivered as the cold air hit her, but she didn't allow her body any other movements. Clarke remained by her head, her free hand running soothing fingers through her hair, and she heard the blonde girl stifle a gasp when the extent of her wounds were revealed. Once the shirt was cut open and the bandages Clarke had managed to put on her earlier to slow the bleeding were pulled gently away from the wounds, Abby moved to her right thigh and cut the material around that arrow away as well.
Once the wounds were all visible, Abby nodded, scanning them and making a quick decision. Her own emotions and thoughts whirled inside her, knowing who this was lying in front of her and what she'd done to her people, but she was a doctor before she was Chancellor, and a wounded patient was a wounded patient. She looked back up, eyes flickering over the tight hold her daughter still held on the Commander's hand and fear in Clarke's eyes, but she pushed that aside for the moment as she focused on the girl lying before her. "Alright, now I need to get those arrows out of you, Lexa, but in order to do that, we're going to have to tie you down so that you don't move. I'm sorry, but it's the only way to make sure you will lie still enough."
Lexa wanted to tell this woman that she was the Commander, that she had felt pain much worse than this before, but the fever was clouding her mind and she couldn't seem to get the words out. The idea of pain was a much more comfortable thought for her than the idea of being tied down in what could possibly be enemy territory, so when Abby and Jackson clicked a strap across her ankles, she panicked, and nearly tried to jump off of the table. She didn't have the strength or coordination however, and Clarke had just let go of her hand so that she could press it against the Commander's shoulder, and that weight by itself was enough to keep the brunette in place. Trust Clarke, trust Clarke, she repeated like a mantra in her head, even as Abby and Jackson walked around her bed, using the straps she hadn't noticed hanging off it to hold her in place. They attached a strap across her ankles, midsection, and just below her shoulders, the final strap just a couple of inches below the arrow shaft still sticking out of her. Once strapped down, she tried to move, and found she couldn't, and something akin to fear bubbled up in her throat, but she squashed it back down. Clarke was beside her still, and she knew the blonde girl wouldn't allow anything to happen to her.
"This is going to hurt, Lexa," she heard Abby say, and at the sound what remained of her attention snapped back to the older woman. I am the Commander, she wanted to say, You have not earned the privilege to speak my name, but her mouth had gone completely dry, her tongue felt as though it had swollen to at least double its natural size, and the energy it took to form words seemed to be too much at the moment. So instead she remained quiet, trying to simply shoot daggers at the woman with her eyes. She didn't think it worked however, because the other woman showed no signs of fear as she continued, "I have to make the arrow wounds larger, so that I can check and make sure they aren't embedded in bone, and then if they aren't, and if no major arteries are near them, I will have to use my fingers to carefully pull them out so that they don't do any more damage." She then turned to Clarke and told her, "Clarke, you may want to let her hold your hand so she has something to squeeze. She may need it."
I am the Commander!, Lexa repeated in her head, wondering how this woman could be so daft, Pain is nothing to me, but she did have to admit, at least to herself, that feeling Clarke's hands cover her own again did sooth her slightly. Feeling Clarke's grip, she simply closed her eyes again, waiting for the blade to slice her skin.
She felt the cool metal of the blade enter her shoulder wound first and cut an inch or so down away from the wound. She did not flinch, even in her slightly delusional state. She was still the Commander, and would not let this blade intimidate her. Her jaw remained clenched, even as she felt the stinging metal leave her, and then fingers enter the incision, poking around the arrow shaft. All she allowed at the sudden invasion was a small intake of breath, and then went back to lying silently, trying to ignore the fresh waves of pain.
Abby used both sight and touch to figure out exactly how the arrow was angled and how deeply it was embedded. Inwardly she sighed in relief as she found that it had missed bone and major arteries. Without warning, she carefully pulled the arrow up and out, until she was holding it up for Jackson to take from her. Immediately she replaced the arrow with a thick piece of cloth to try to slow the bleeding while she turned her focus to the other arrow. She motioned to the cloth and told her daughter, "Clarke, put pressure on the wound. I'll stitch it up once the other one's out."
Clarke nodded, releasing Lexa's hand from one of her own, and moved over to the cloth, pressing it against the wound with as much force as she dared. Her other hand continued to hold the Commander's, and she felt fingers tighten around hers, the only obvious sign that the other girl was still conscious. Clarke returned the pressure, silently reminding Lexa she was still right there, and pressed just a little harder against the wound on her shoulder. Abby moved down to the brunette's thigh, completing the same maneuver of cutting an inch or so longer gash down from the arrow wound, and then gently pushing her fingers in to decide the best way to pull it out. This one was a little trickier, she found: this arrow, while embedding itself in muscle rather than bone, had landed near enough the femoral artery, and if she wasn't careful, the arrow could slip and cut it, which would in turn cause the Grounder to bleed out. She moved incredibly slowly, using her free hand to hold down the leg for added insurance against it moving. The girl had done very well so far, barely moving a muscle as the doctor worked, but all it would take was one minor flinch and she'd be in real trouble. Finally, after taking many minutes to painstakingly guide the arrow head out of the flesh, she held it out for Jackson to take, and grabbed a second cloth to cover this wound.
Once the arrows were out, it was easy work. She and Jackson got to work, stitching up the wounds. She worked on the gash on the girl's side first, fearing the amount of blood that she had already lost from it, while Jackson stitched up the leg wound, both of them cleaning the wounds as they worked. As soon she was done with that, she moved to replace Clarke by the brunette's chest, and just as Jackson finished with the leg wound, she used her head to gesture towards her daughter. Not taking her eyes from the wound before her, she told him, "Jackson, stitch Clarke up, please. Clarke, I need you to drink some of the antidote as well. You may not be feeling the effects of the poison yet since your wound is minor compared to the Commander's, but I don't want to take any chances." Jackson nodded in response to her order, moving over to the sink to wash Lexa's blood from his hands before he poured more antidote into a cup and moved over to Clarke so he could start getting to work on her injury.
The blonde frowned as he handed her the cup, her mind too clouded with worry to understand. "What…?" she asked, confused even as Jackson cut away some of her sleeve. When he touched her arm gingerly, she looked down and realized she was still bleeding from her own arrow wound. She shook her head, reluctantly releasing Lexa's hand as he led her to a bed to sit on, having completely forgotten about it. She brought the cup to her lips, quickly swallowing its contents before she let her hand fall back to her side, wincing slightly as the needle pierced her flesh.
Clarke's movement away from her was what finally made Lexa move, just before Abby was about to stick a needle into one end of the long cut just by her shoulder. Opening her eyes, she moved her head, trying to follow Clarke's movements, and she could feel her heart start beating faster and faster as she felt the other girl's presence leave her.
"Clarke…" she tried to say, but her breath got caught in her throat as she tried to move to get up and follow the blonde, the straps holding her down.
"Shhh," she heard the Chancellor say soothingly, before running her fingers gently through her hair. She wanted to tell the older woman to stop, to once again try to remind her that she was the Commander, and that she didn't need to be soothed by her, but the touch felt just like the many times Clarke had done the same thing, running her fingers through her hair while they sat together in their cave. So instead of reprimanding the older woman, her eyes closed once again, even as she heard the other woman say softly, "It's okay; Clarke's still here, we just have to take care of her wound too."
Exhaustion from the day's events suddenly hit Lexa hard, and she could feel herself beginning to fall into the unconsciousness that she had been fighting for so long, but at hearing of Clarke's wounds, she frowned. She tried to fight longer to stay conscious, needing to know that Clarke was okay, but she knew she was losing the fight.
"Should have… taken care of her… first," she managed to get out, before she allowed herself to succumb to the beautiful oblivion of darkness.
Abby's movements with the needle and thread stilled as the young woman's words reached her, and her gaze moved to the girl's face. She could tell that she had finally fallen unconscious, and looking at her like this, her face soft with the peace that comes from a deep sleep, she was reminded once again at just how young this girl was. Looking just at her face, she didn't look like someone who had led countless people into battle and killed countless people herself: she didn't look like she'd promised an alliance with her own people, only to betray them at the last minute. It was only when she looked down at the girl's torso, at not only the wounds she was currently working on but also the many scars that had healed over many years and the dark tattoo on her side, that painted the picture of who this girl really was and what she had done.
Finishing with the stitches, she tied off the string and then used a clean knife to cut away the extra, frowning. Looking up from her work, she glanced across the room to where Jackson stood next to her own daughter, stitching her wound even as she continued to look at the girl lying in front of Abby, the worried expression still on her face. The mother sighed, seeing what was going on, and turned away, shaking her head. She didn't know what had happened, how her daughter and the Commander of the Grounder Army had come together in this way they obviously had, but the feelings between them suddenly were all too obvious. Her own feelings shifted, her mistrust in the Grounders still more than strong, but now there was a curiosity that settled alongside it as well. Looking between the two of them, a thought that had already crossed her mind many times appeared again, this time accompanied by a new one: these two girls had both had too much responsibility thrust on them too young, and now their hearts were leading them down another impossible trail.
Well? What did you you think? Ugh, I really hope you liked it, and I really hope that really stupid, really dumb thing that happened in the last episode won't turn anyone away from this story: I can promise you, I am much, much more trustworthy than Jason Rothenberg.
Also: I have the next couple of chapters already written, they just need minor editing, but I'm still going to be updating just once a week. The reason I will be doing this is because I am going to spend my normal writing time these next couple of weeks on getting "Continuum" up and running. I've already gotten started on the next chapter, and am hoping to be able to update that this weekend and then keep that as a weekly thing for a short time as well. I don't know about you all, but I at least am in desperate need of some Clexa family fluff and lovin', and this happens to be the perfect way to get it. So I apologize for the slight cliff-hangery chapters you will be getting in the next couple of weeks, but I'm hoping to offset those cliffhangers with Clexa and their growing family in the sequel to "The Note." So just bare with me, my delightful friends, and as always, PLEASE, I really want to know your thoughts, especially on this and the next few chapters! Thanks all!