I could probably get into a lot of trouble for this. Ah, you know what? Scratch that, I will get into a lot of trouble for this. Did that thought stop me? Course not. Does anything ever stop me? Nope and nothing ever will. Okay, well, maybe except Gaara catching me in one of his freaky sand coffins but who could blame him?

I shifted and slid down the dark hallways, making it a point to stick to the shadows. It wasn't impossibly late but it was late enough for the building to be empty. I had maybe an hour before Temari and Kankuro went home. I told myself I'd be in and out.

With my wandering ways, the Sand Siblings had been keeping a freakishly close eye on me. I could barely go to the bathroom without one of them damn near following me. It was annoying but I tried to push my annoyance to the side. They were just worried. I was gone for nearly three weeks. And for nearly two weeks, they had been running in circles trying to track me down. And when they finally manage to drag my half-dead ass back to the village, I respond by escaping the hospital.

Jesus I was bad at making decisions.

I've been back for almost a week now, slowly recuperating and nursing my bruised pride and depleted chakra. I didn't talk much about my time away, not that they didn't ask. Gaara asked for me to elaborate several times about what happened but each time I made it a point to keep my mouth shut. Telling him in detail about what happened would only anger him even more. He was already a little testy these days and I certainly didn't want him losing his temper. And the only one who'd be on the receiving end is Jura.

Speaking of which…

I opened the door quietly and came across Jura. The room was empty save for the chair and table he was seated at. His arms and legs were pinned and I noticed he had a weird looking cuff around his wrist. Oh. A Chakra depressor. I tsked softly but knew that this treatment was better than what the Council thought he deserved. Better than the treatment I received. But I pushed that bitter thought to the side. Jura had helped me, practically saved me. It was only right that I check on him.

"Jura?" I called softly, inching into the room. My footsteps were silent due to abandoning my sandals. "Juuuura," I sang just a bit louder, laying a hand on his shoulder. His shoulders tensed and he jerked. I fell back with a shriek, "the fuck, Jura, damn!"

He eyed me with hazy eyes. "Oh," his lips puckered in thought. "Hey, Xin. How are you?" He greeted casually like he wasn't locked up in solitary confinement. I wrinkled my nose and slowly clambered to my feet, dusting my ass off of any sand or dirt.

"Fine, I guess," I shrugged casually. "Missing a tooth though and I have new scars but those never bothered me anyway. Haven't been sleeping much but you know, whatever."

"You need to sleep," He reminded me and I only quirked a brow. For some reason, I don't think our current topic of discussion was really that important.

So I shrugged and shook my head. "Why are they keeping you down here?" I asked, running my fingers from his shoulder down to his hand. He didn't flinch and my hand came away clean. No blood, bumps or bruises.

Jura shifted but it didn't do much for him. "I don't really know at this point. I thought they were going to kill me. Kazekage-sama tried to kill me."

"He did what now?"

Jura looked a little guilty. "Xin, he was angry. I did help in almost killing his wife."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

I glared at him and he glared right back. I broke the glaring contest first, eyes squinting in the dark. Slowly I leaned over him, peeling his shirt away from his back. A very large bruise poked out from what I could see in the dark. My lips pulled at that and I flattened my palm, Chakra sparking to life. He jerked away when he realized I was trying to heal him. "Stop that," He sniffed with a frown. "You're supposed to be recovering your chakra, not wasting it on me."

"I'm not wasting it if it's helping someone you moron."

"You are the kindest medic I have ever met."

"Oh shut the fuck up."

Jura gave me a dirty look but said nothing for a long time. "I told Gaara that...you don't deserve to die," I said after a long moment of silence. Jura glanced at me, obviously confused by my change of heart. I shrugged, knowing I wasn't good at stuff like this. "Cuz' you don't, Jura. You don't deserve it," I stated, believing it. And that's all there was to it. He was searching my eyes for something but I only shrugged again.

"I like you Xin."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "I know," I nodded. "I like you too which is surprising because I hate everyone. Except Gaara. Kind of can't hate him. Sometimes I want to though. Not because he's a bad person but because he's a good person and I...I'm not."

Jura was staring at me, an unreadable expression on his face. "No. I don't mean it like that," He stated with a frown pinching his lips. I tilted my head to the side. "I like you," He repeated firmly. My expression didn't change. "Like how Kazekage-sama likes you."

The quiet that loomed over us is almost awkward as I stare at him. I did the first thing I could think of in this sort of situation.

I punched him. Hard.

"Xin, what the fuck?!"

"I don't know, I panicked."

"So your reaction is to punch someone?!"

"Look at who you're talking to, my immediate reaction is to attack!"

"Christ, what is wrong with you, you little psycho!"

"Me!? What's wrong with you?!"

Seriously, the fuck was wrong with him? Did he not realize how stupid he sounded? Not only was I a short psychotic murderer, I'm married.

If he could, he'd probably be rubbing his face in exasperation. Instead he just groaned and muttered about the bruise that would probably bloom in a couple of minutes. I didn't apologize. "I know you don't feel the same way, I don't expect you to," He began to say. "I also don't expect you to punch me in the face when my Chakra is nonexistent you damn troll."

I was about to punch him again when I suddenly felt another Chakra baring down on me. I puckered my lips. "Oh fuck," I cursed and took two big steps back. Gaara swept into the room as I tried to plaster an innocent smile on my face.

"You." Gaara glared viciously at me, "What did I tell you?" He approached me, catching me by the arm before I could scramble away.

"Uhhhh….that you missed me?" I tried with a nervous giggle. Gaara did not look amused. He chanced a glance at Jura and furrowed his brow.

"What happened to your face, Mikawa?"

"He fell."

"I fell."

Jura looked like he wanted to smack me because honestly, what? He fell? I could've came up with a better lie than that. I was really off my game lately. Maybe something was knocked loose in my head. How many times did I have my face thrown into the ground? Too many times to count.

I suppose Gaara decided to let my horrible lie slide because he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Didn't we have a conversation about this?" He motioned around us. "About making these sort of choices on your own? What did I tell you?"

"Okay, well, technically, we were talking about Kimi and Satoru. And besides, I'm not interrogating Jura."

"Then what are you doing down here so late at night when no one can hear his screams?"

I shot him a sarcastic smile. "I was just checking on him. Why'd you try to kill him? He has a big ass bruise on his back, Gaara. Christ and all twelve, what'd you do to him? Throw him into a building?" I rolled my eyes and waited for an answer. Gaara didn't answer. I stared at him, face breaking in disbelief. "You threw him into a building."

"Xin, we are not having this conversation right now."

"When can we have it then?"

"We can't."

"Yes we can."

Gaara glared fiercely at me and for some reason, I shrank away. Well, that was new. There have been times when Gaara has scared the living shit out of me but…..

He noticed my sudden hunched shoulders and frowned. "I didn't mean…." He began to say but I only shook my head. Whatever that was, I didn't want to talk about it.

I glanced at Jura. He was conveniently looking away but his brow was in a deep furrow. I glanced in between the two men, frowning. Gaara's grip loosened on my arm until it fell to my waist but I paid it no mind. "Jura? Do...do you want a chance to fix things?"

Gaara said nothing to stop me from whatever I was doing. Jura only glanced at me before looking at his lap. "Yes…" He answered almost solemnly. I grinned widely.

"Then tell us what you know."

You're not going."

"Eh?"

Gaara and I walked back to the house, hand in hand. We had stayed for an hour more, listening as he told us more about Masahiro and his careful planning that he'd been obsessing over for nearly three or four years. He even told us the exact location of Masahiro's hideout. "I know you're going to want to go on this mission but you're not going. I'm not sending you."

His grip on my hand tightened. I sighed softly with my lips puckered. I thought about Masahiro, Kyohei, Minori and Kenta. I thought about wanting to hunt them down one by one and killing them each slowly.

"Eventually," I started to say. "You'll give me missions again. I can't just be a medic working at the Hospital. I'll get cabin fever."

Gaara nodded, probably grateful that I didn't put up a fight. I don't know why I didn't bother but I knew I just wanted this whole ordeal to be over with. "I'll talk to the council about everything Jura told us. Perhaps it'll be agreed to pardon him. He's a good person who made the wrong mistakes," He said simply. I smiled widely at the notion, glad that I really didn't have to punch him in the head to get him to agree with me on this. Boys could be so stubborn sometimes. The rest of our walk was silently peaceful. I expected him to scold me for seeking Jura out without his permission but he remained quiet. I wasn't sure if I liked that or not.

Temari and Kankuro were home and they looked me over with critical eyes. I acted like I didn't notice their gazes as I sauntered into the kitchen to prepare dinner. It was a little awkward, sitting around the table trying to figure out what to talk about but we somehow managed. Kankuro didn't fight with me about dish duty and I retired early to my bed.

"Your hair's still wet," Gaara grumbled distastefully when he came in after his shower. I only grumbled at his words, turning on my side. He made a noise before grabbing me and sitting me up. I let out a long whine but he just threw a towel over my head and started to blot my hair dry.

"You're not going back to the tower?" I asked. I noticed that lately he's been hanging around a lot when he usually would be at work.

"Not tonight," He answered simply.

I frowned, not that he could see it as he continued to towel dry my hair. "Your work is finished for the day?" I questioned, wondering why he bothered to cut his work day so short.

"It's fine Xin," He answered but didn't really answer. I hummed and waved his hands away, figuring my hair was dry enough. I twisted the thick locks into a braid that hung over my shoulder. I turned around and watched as he went about the room, making sure everything was in place before sliding into the bed next to me with a book.

"So," I patted at his leg. "You threw Jura into a building?" I offered the topic of conversation. Gaara sighed heavily next to me and put his book down without even bothering to read.

He looked at me, frowning. "I lost my temper," Gaara stated simply. "I was stressed out and the Shukaku was agitated. It just happened."

My lips quirked into a smile. "I guess that's kind of sweet. I think. That means you were really worried about me, huh?" I nudged at his arm. Gaara didn't reply, opting to shoot me a dirty look. "Earlier today…" I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to say. "When I was talking to Jura, he told me that he likes me," I told him, deciding that it would be better to tell him now than let him find out later. Gaara didn't say anything. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "I punched him in the face after he explained how he liked me. I thought he meant he just liked me as a friend and when he told me differently...I panicked."

"How can anyone be attracted to you and your violent ways?"

"I have great tits."

"Oh for fuck's sake…"

I let out a squealing laugh. "Okay maybe that's not the reason," I looked down at my chest. Well, it was part of the reason. I did have a great rack on me but whatever. "Like I told Ukyo, it's a foreign thing."

Gaara grunted. "Everyone's attracted to my foreign wife."

"Well, yes, but remember, I only have eyes for you. Doesn't that count for something?"

"I'm not sure. Why did you punch Jura? And speaking of which, he fell? Really? That was the best you could come up with me? How'd he fall, Xin?"

"Didn't I just say I panicked? I don't do well under pressure apparently. I'm getting rusty, that happens you know, what with all the mission withholding and everything...not a quick thinker like I used to be."

"Nice try."

"Worth a shot," I shrugged casually. "I don't...I don't return his feelings, you know," I suddenly stated. It seemed kind of weird that I felt the need to reassure Gaara of my nonexistent feelings for Jura. "It really surprised me, honestly. This entire time I just thought we were best friends, I thought that's all he felt for me but apparently…." I trailed off almost awkwardly.

Knowing that Jura had somehow developed feelings for me was weird. It was like Sasori kissing me all over again. Just weird and out of the blue. I glanced at Gaara. At least he wasn't bursting at the seams with possessive jealousy like last time. "I'm going to kill him."

I blanched and threw myself over him. "Noooo, we talked about this. No killing Jura," I whined while wrapping my arms around him. My muscles protested the movement and I hissed through clenched teeth. Feeling this weak was really starting to piss me off. I wanted to be back at full health already.

"Stop overdoing it," Gaara grumbled, shimmying out of my hold. I pouted and drew my arms away. Gaara sighed heavily and looped his arm around my shoulders, tugging me until I nestled into his side. I went without a fight, almost sighing in content at the warmth and sturdiness his body provided to me. With smiling lips, I stretched up to kiss the corner of his mouth. Kissing him seemed almost second-nature to me now. I began to settle against him, intent on getting a good night's rest (I slept easier when Gaara came to bed with me, odd) when his fingers suddenly caught my chin. My face pinched in confusion right before he leaned down and placed a soft kiss against my lips. When my lips moved in compliance, he pressed down harder. I felt his tongue slide over my upper lip.

Instead of normally returning the kiss, I felt something in my stomach clench. I ripped myself away and for some reason, I reared forward towards his shoulder and tried to bite him.

Gaara's shoulder jerked out of the way and I almost expected to suddenly have his hand around my neck. A pain at the back of my head bloomed but I knew there was no wound back there to speak of. "Xin…." Gaara trailed off with a disturbed expression across his face. "I usually enjoy your biting but something tells me you weren't doing that to my benefit."

"Um…" I tried to think of something to say to explain my odd behavior. I couldn't come up with anything but Christ, did I really just try to bite my fuckin' husband?

Something flashed through my mind and I felt phantom hands sliding over my body. I could feel them prodding at my breasts and gripping at my thighs. I could feel unfamiliar lips pressed sloppily against my own mouth and hips rocking into my hips. "Does he fuck you rough? Do you want it rough, Princess? I can give it to you better than he can."

My eyebrows drew together as I pressed my fingers against my lips. "He was going to rape me," I uttered in realization. For the past couple of days I'd been remembering things or wondering if it was a figment of my imagination. After all, I had lost a lot of blood and could have been suffering from delirium. But now I don't think that's the case.

"What?" the simple question was icy and I seriously had to wonder if I wanted to turn to my left. I remembered the last time we had to deal with another man forcing a kiss on me and how that turned out. Now I had stupidly said out loud that another man had tried to rape me. Oh dear God, my decision making skills are complete and utter shit.

I lurched out of the bed, ready to dart across the room. Gaara's hand caught my upper arm before my feet could even brush against the floor. With a squeal I was yanked backwards and over him. His weight settled over me and I only briefly looked at his shifting eyes before I felt a swell of panic burst in my chest.

With a strangled wail, my limbs were flying everywhere. My hands slapped at his arms and my legs flailed in wild kicks. My hips bucked, trying desperately to get the very large male off of me.

And then all at once, I stopped. Golden eyes stared down at me as clumps of sand gathered at the side of his head. I could see sharpened teeth beginning to slide down past his lips and felt those damn claws on my arms.

The fear slunk away. Demon or not, this was Gaara. This was my husband. And if I just calmed down enough and told him to get the fuck off of me, he would. "I…." my chest heaved but my legs slowly relaxed under him. "I'm sorry, I panicked and had a flashback and you were getting angry—please ease up on my arms."

He did just that, nails that were pricking into my skin slowly easing up. "Uh," I stumbled to say something.

"Who was it?"

"Gaara, nothing happened. I bit him in self-defense. Jura came in and helped me," I explained quickly. Gaara's jaw tightened at the mention of Jura. Shit, shit, don't mention Jura. Don't mention Jura.

"I don't care if nothing happened. Who was it."

I wish the bed could just swallow my stupid ass up right now. Of all things to suddenly remember and blurt out loud, that just had to be it. I fidgeted under him, wishing he would just back off a little bit. "Okay, okay. Could you just back off a little? You're making me nervous," I told him, eyes darting around wildly. He did just that and backed off just a tad bit. Okay, I didn't literally mean a little but at least he was still coherent. I squirmed under him and sat up on my elbows.

His legs tightened, securely boxing me in if I tried to run again. He'd probably catch me with his sand if I somehow managed to escape so I pushed the idea of running to the very back of my mind. I took a calming breath, breathing softly through the slight flare of my nostrils.

"The...Kenta," I muttered, gaze averting to the side. "I was delirious but he was too...sloppy and his form was too big. I thought…." I paused, suddenly remembering what I had been hallucinating right before realizing Kenta was not who I thought he was. My face felt hot at that point, too hot and I covered my face with my hands. "Christ…" I peeked from in between my fingers to see that he was staring intently at me. "Nothing, I thought nothing."

"You thought it was me."

"To be fair, I was delirious. I lost a lot of blood and...I just...I thought about you a lot," I admitted, finding this hard to say. God, I was not meant for stuff like this. I was meant to kill something. I needed to kill something, not confess my almost rape. "It...it's not a big deal, Gaara," I muttered quietly.

One thing Lena-sensei taught my team when we first started out as kunoichi is how enemies often used rape as a form of torture and interrogation. As young teenagers, barely thirteen, we didn't really understand how rape could be torturous. But now I could see how it could fuck up a person's mentality and doubting it in the past is probably just some more of my karma biting me in the ass.

"If it's not a big deal…." Gaara broke me out of my thoughts. "Why are you crying?" He asked slowly. I watched in fascination as the gold of his eyes melted away into his familiar blue.

Maybe that's why my nose was burning and my throat felt like it had closed up? Very slowly I reached up to touch at my face. True to his words, I was crying. "I...I don't know," I managed to wheeze out. I reached down and pulled my shirt up to wipe at my face. I've cried a lot since coming to Suna, I realized. It was kind of weird. This village had done many weird things to me. This man had done many weird things to me. I sat up a little more and Gaara leaned away. "I'm..fine, it's nothing, I'm fine," I insisted while rubbing a little too hard at my face.

Kenta saw my scars, I realized. Or at least felt them. My lips twisted at that and a shiver crawled its way up and down my spine. I suddenly felt like I could feel each and every scar that was stitched into my skin. I coiled into myself, bringing my legs to my chest. I ran a hand down my shin, feeling the ruined flesh.

"You aren't fine, Xin."

"No, I'm not," I agreed simply. "But when am I ever fine? You get used to it after awhile."

"I don't want to get used to it."

"Sounds like a personal problem then."

"Xin."

I stopped rubbing my shin and sighed heavily. "I don't want to talk about it, Gaara. He didn't get far, I'm fine."

"Then why are you shaking?"

"Bad nerves."

Gaara didn't look amused and it made me take a deep breath. "He..just…." I could feel my face heating up. "I remember kisses. They were kind of gross now that I think about it. And groping, lots of groping," I paused, digging around in my head for more of the memory.

He didn't look happy but he didn't hulk out on me so I figured that was good enough. I'd rot in hell before I ever admit that he's angry for my sake is kind of nice. And that his anger is kind of a turn on. "What's a turn on?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You just muttered something about a turn on?"

"No I didn't."

"I heard you."

"No you didn't."

He shot me a dirty look and I rubbed at my face kind of harshly. "I kind of like it when you worry about me. I mean, sometimes it freaks me the fuck out when you go all ape-shit on me but…" I smiled gently and reached up to play with a loose strand of hair. "It's nice. I mean, when you aren't snarling in my face and making bloody holes in my arms or legs..it's nice," I admitted with a hot face. Well, I'm bound to rot in Hell anyway, I guess.

"I didn't mean to make you bleed."

"I know. Can I kiss you?"

"Only if you promise not to bite me."

"Ah, so you don't like that kind of thing?"

"Not if you're going to rupture an artery in my shoulder with your teeth, no."

I huffed and scooted closer, nudging my way in between his legs. "I said I was sorry, I panicked," I reminded him sourly while settling my hands on his shoulders. He drew his arms around my lazily, settling them at my waist as I practically draped myself over him.

I had a funny feeling in my stomach but I pushed that aside in favor of the feeling is his lips against mine.

End P.O.V

Xin awkwardly rubbed her arm as she stood on the doorstep of the Mikawa's house. She had avoided the remaining siblings ever since returning but she figured someone should speak to the siblings about the recent developments involving their brothers. And Genji. She mostly forgot about Genji since he hadn't made an appearance when she was away but he was still involved.

"Sensei!" Ukyo swung the door open with a smile. "What are you doing here? Did I miss a training session?" her smile dropped at the thought of missing a training session. She was pretty sure she was off for the day with no training from Kankuro or Xin.

Xin stopped rubbing her arm, dropping her hand to sit idly. Ukyo noticed that her fingers twitched and she quickly folded her twitching hands behind her back. "No, you're fine. No training today. But...ah..is Asuna in?"

Ukyo nodded and stepped away from the door, silently inviting her medical teacher to come in. Xin did so with a strained smile, pausing to kick her sandals off. "She's been resting upstairs mostly. Her feet are really swollen lately and it's been bothering her."

Xin nodded her head. "Could you tell her I need to speak with her? It's very important…" She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. Ukyo sent her to the kitchen with a smile, leaving to help Asuna down the steps. Xin sat in the kitchen, remembering the various times of sitting at this same table and sharing laughs with Jura and the rest of his oddball family. She sighed heavily, feeling as if she ripped the family apart.

"My lady!" Asuna came in seconds later, surprising Xin. She figured it would be a good five or ten minutes before Asuna made her way down the stairs. She quickly got up, pulling the other chair out and helping the older woman to it. "Thank you! Jeez, moving around can be so troublesome now, I feel like this baby is a lot bigger than expected. What do you think?"

Xin smiled wryly and sat down after making sure Asuna was comfortable enough. "Ah, well, your brothers are pretty tall. Maybe it's the genes. I wouldn't be surprised if the kid turns out to be a giant," She remarked. Asuna paled and shook her head, mumbling about all her rotten luck.

"Anyway, you've been gone for quite some time. It's a little odd though, you left right around the time my brothers and Genji suddenly vanished...you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Well…"

"And you know, some days after you vanished, Baki-san paid us a visit. It was strange, he was asking all of these weird questions about my husband and my brothers. I had no idea what to make of it. Perhaps you could shed some light on that?"

Xin let out a big sigh and rubbed her face. "Beating around the bush isn't like you, Asuna," She muttered quietly. "Your brothers and your husband have been branded as traitors. Orders have been given to kill on sight," She answered as her hand dropped to her lap. Her gaze was stoic and her lips were set in a grim line. Asuna took it pretty well, Xin supposed. Her face lost color and she rolled her lip into her mouth. She was sure that if someone randomly told her that Hinata, Hanabi and Gaara were suddenly branded as traitors and were to be killed on sight, she'd flip her shit.

"Why?"

Xin tapped her fingers against her lap. She wasn't sure how Gaara would feel but she figured Asuna deserved to know. With a deep sigh, she told the eldest daughter everything she knew. From the start to just the other day, she told Asuna everything she knew. When she was finally finished, she waited anxiously for Asuna's reaction. The blonde's face was primarily passive but Xin did take notice of the grip she had on her dress. When Asuna took notice of Xin's blatant staring, she quickly released the fabric of her dress. Her hands shook but she tried to mask it by smoothing the wrinkles away.

"I thought you would take the news differently…" Xin spoke calmly, still wary of any delayed reactions. The Mikawas, she had learned, reacted solely off of emotions. And she was wary of Asuna suddenly losing her shit and chucking the toaster at her head.

Asuna drummed her nails against the table. "Kyo...he's never been the same after our parents died and maybe that's my fault for not doing something sooner but I was just so busy with trying to care for my siblings. Ukyo and Usui's parents were helpful but eventually we were on our own when they passed," Asuna sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead.

"As for Jura, that's surprising. He made a stupid choice without really thinking of the consequences," Asuna rolled her eyes. Xin only squinted at her and leaned forward slightly.

"Um, I don't mean to be rude or anything but you're taking this a lot better than I thought. I can literally murder your brothers and husband if they suddenly strolled in here and it would be allowed."

"You speak so easily of murdering people you've formed bonds with."

"I barely said more than ten sentences to your husband. Kyohei has been trying to kill me since before you even thought of returning and Jura…..he's a special case."

Asuna allowed the younger woman's words to sink in. "Ever since I met you, Hatsune has been insisting that you're a vicious murderer and while I did see you as…." the blonde paused thoughtfully. "Well, I'm not really sure what I saw you as. For the time being, you were just the medic looking after my pregnancy.."

Xin said nothing, eyes holding Asuna's gaze steadily. "So you think she's right?"

Asuna smiled softly and quietly shook her head. "Why did you come here to tell me this? Did Kazekage-sama think a familiar face would soften the blow from being told my brothers and husband are criminals?"

Xin tried to relax, easing the stiff settling of her shoulders and slouching more into the chair. "I came here because I care for Jura and his family."

"Even Hatsune?"

"I find her entertaining but that's not the point. Jura is being withheld, I think a pardon is being negotiated since he leaked some of the plans but make no mistake, Asuna, this is a warning I'm issuing here," if there had been any emotion on Xin's face, she wiped it clean. "If any of any you turn out to be supporting your idiotic brother and husband, I will follow any order I'm given."

Asuna's lips twitched at Xin's jab. "Everything mean thing your sister has said about me...anytime Kyohei has called me insane or psychotic, they were right. Every bad thing, they're right about. I need you and everyone in this house to understand something. Above all else, being the Kazekage's wife, a medical ninja or even a Sensei, I am a kunoichi."

"And a kunoichi always follows their orders," Asuna commented wryly. "You said 'any', are you suggesting that if you find out Hideki or even Ukyo has anything to do with this mess, you'll take care of them?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm warning you."

"They're kids."

"So was Usui but that didn't stop them from using him as a test dummy and killing him, now did it?" Xin casually examined her nails. Asuna's face hardened. "They aren't kids anymore, Asuna. They're ninja. The minute they knot their headbands, they become Shinobi."

The blonde nodded, knowing the way of the ninja but suddenly hating it. She knew Genji and Kyo had been acting out of sorts lately but she would have never guessed that they were supporters of such a horrible thing. And Genji….knowing those poisonous worms had been something to do with her husband made her heart sink. "I never believed there could be a possibility that I could raise my child alone, marrying a councilmen and everything.."

"Is that why you married Genji? You felt like your child was guaranteed a father?"

"Of course not!" Asuna slapped the table, anger surging through her. "I married him because I love him, that's what marriage is about! You should know that, you're married, aren't you?"

Xin tried to relax, rolling her lips together when she felt the urge to bare her teeth. "We're not talking about my marriage or love. We're talking about the truth."

Asuna took a long breath, laying a hand over her bulging stomach. "I just wanted to raise my child in a healthy environment with both parents present," Asuna confessed with a sad look. "But I can tell by the look on your face that this won't be the case."

Living in a healthy environment with both parents present? Who the hell was she kidding? Xin tried to ignore the sudden urge to laugh. In the world they lived in? That was barely possible. "I'm not going to promise you that this will be the case. I can't promise anything until we recover Genji and find out why he's involved."

"And Kyo?"

"Kyohei is going to die. He's a prime suspect for setting the Kage's tower on fire, he's physically attacked me several times," Xin began listing things off on her fingers. "He's aided in my kidnapping and fully participated in my torture with the intent to kill me and has threatened to kill the Kazekage on more than one occasion, so…."

"And there's nothing to be done for him."

"Well, you could probably fight for a pardon but I doubt it would be successful. The council are a bunch of suspicious ass fucks so if you try to fight for his pardon, I'm sure they'll suspect you of treason as well and try to have you executed."

Asuna reached up to massage her temples. Of course she wanted to fight for her brother's freedom. But if Kyohei really was plotting such horrible things, what exactly could she do? With her brothers and Genji missing, she had to look after her younger siblings and Ukyo. Not to mention, she was heavily pregnant and ready to pop any day. How could she do anything for those three idiots if she had a baby on the way?

"God, my parents must be turning in their graves," She grumbled irritably. She glanced over at Xin, finally taking notice of Xin's appearance. She looked positively exhausted with dark circles under her usually lively eyes. Her hair that was always groomed to perfection was hastily thrown into a bun that was slowly slipping out of it's hold. She was dressed down in a simple dress with long sleeves when she would be sporting crop tops and shorts due to the hot weather. When she moved her hands around, Asuna caught the sight of fading bruises. "You look horrible," Asuna blurted, politeness be damned. Amusement gleamed in Xin's eyes, replacing the weary look for a second.

"Well, torture will do that to a woman," She chuckled softly. "A common rule that we, as women, always try to follow is that rule about trying not to look weak or letting our emotions get the best of us. That rule is a bunch of bullshit. I got my ass handed to me, I thought I was going to die. I accepted it. I was scared. I wanted Gaara," Xin began to confess, placing her elbow on the table so that she could settle her chin in the palm of her hand. Her sleeve fell away to reveal more of the faded bruises. Asuna eyed the bruises with no shame, studying the aggravated flesh with a soft frown.

"I never thought I would hear you admit to being afraid of anything."

"Yeah, well, it humbled my ass. Just a bit though. I know once I get my hands on those morons, I'm going to break my foot off in their asses but….I'm still human. I'm still just a woman and I don't always win."

Asuna's brow twitched. "Even if they have done wrong, they're still my brother and husband," She reminded the younger woman with a twitch of her lips. Xin raised her eyebrows, her own lips puckering.

"Still gonna hunt them down."

"My Lady…"

Xin took a deep breath. "Alright, alright, fine, I'll stop," XIn paused, eyes glancing towards the clock. With another heavy breath, she climbed to her feet. "I just wanted to warn you. I think that if something like this happened to me, I would want to know," She waved for Asuna to sit back down. She knew her way out. "Asuna, I...I am sorry about how this turned out but I don't think there's much I can do at this point but follow orders. I think I already used up my favors by asking for Jura's pardon."

Asuna noted that Xin looked a lot older than eighteen years old at that moment. She was glad she wasn't in the younger woman's position. Married at only eighteen, having to beg for your best friend's life, being tortured because of your husband, and having to deal with things like telling your friend's sibling of their sudden criminal activity.

She was suddenly so glad that she had retired.

"And that's the only part that you eat?"

Xin smiled widely at Ukyo's face as she dug around her sleeve for her keys. Maybe Gaara was right, she did seem rather forgetful when it comes to the keys. "Yes, the entire fish is poisonous so we cut out the only edible part," Xin answered, cheering quietly when sh finally found the keys.

"That's ridiculous," Ukyo wrinkled her nose at the thought of that. "Konoha has weird preferences for food."

Xin snorted at that, somehow balancing the two bags of groceries in her thin arms. "Really? You people eat fried scorpions, that's not weird to you? They're poisonous and you still eat them."

"The poison nullifies when we cook it. It's perfectly safe."

"It's perfectly safe when we cut out the edible part of the fish."

"You could literally die if you don't prepare it right."

"Well, that's why you have to prepare it right. It's rather exciting, I like to think."

"You've prepared that before?"

"Mm, it's one of my Grandfather's favorite meals. I seen one of the cooks preparing it once when I was little. I asked her to teach me how to make it and started to make it every year for him."

The older woman paused while settling the paper bags on the counter. Suddenly sh realized sh wouldn't be able to celebrate hee grandfather's next birthday. Not unless she tried to travel back to Konoha. A minor family tradition, but a long standing one that I wouldn't be included in. Another sacrifice she had to make.

Sometimes Xin had to wondered why she agreed to this marriage. She ended up sacrificing everything she had to make this man look nice and he didn't have to give up a thing other than his bachelor status.

Her brows knitted together because Jesus Christ, when was the last time she suddenly felt so sour towards their marriage? Lately she hadn't been angry about it, she was sure that she'd accepted it all.

Waving the thoughts away, she started unpacking the groceries. If Ukyo had taken notice of her teacher's sudden quietness, she had graciously ignored it. She'd been staring into space a lot, lately. No one ever bothered to comment on it. Sh wasn't sure if that made her feel better or not.

The two spent the afternoon teaching one another traditional foods from their villages. It was kind of strange that their tastes were so different despite the villages being only a week's travel away. Xin noticed Suna preferred salted foods while Konoha often favored strongly flavored foods.

"Sensei, how can your people take this?" Ukyo whined, pushing the spicy dish away. Xin huffed and grabbed the plate. If she wasn't going to eat it, Xin wasn't going to let it go to waste.

Just as Ukyo was reaching for her cup of tea, she paused with a thoughtful look. Xin only glanced at her, opting to shove the slice of spicy chicken into her mouth. Something was obviously weighing down on her but Xin wasn't going to push the issue. "Sensei?"

"Mm?"

"Are you alright?"

The older woman glanced at her but Ukyo wasn't looking at her. Perhaps she was searching for answers in the reflection of her tea. Xin calmly reached for the tea-kettle, casually tilting it to refill her cup. "I'm fine, why do you ask?"

Ukyo mumbled a quick thank you and gingerly nursed her cup. "You haven't been yourself since you returned."

"How have I been acting?"

"Well, you're very quiet and even a little somber. Your temper is tamed and you aren't as...sassy as you were beforehand," Ukyo admitted slowly. Xin snorted, nearly choking on the chunk of chicken. Describing her as sassy was probably the nicest way someone had described her recently. She kind of thought it was funny. Quiet and somber definitely wasn't one of her personality quirks and having a tamed temper wasn't normal either.

"If we're being honest, I'm tired, I suppose."

"That's all? You're just tired? The recent events you've gone through have nothing to do with your vacant stares or your tamed temper?"

"Ukyo—"

"Sensei."

Xin sat up a little straighter and looked at her, brow quirked. "Why do I feel like the roles are reversed?"

"Because you're acting like a child."

This time Xin glared at her, a little irritated with all her questions and accusations. "Asuna-chan told me about your visit the other day," Ukyo uttered, losing some of her nerve. Xin only hummed in reply, not really seeing where she was going with that. "Are your words true?"

"About?" She asked casually. Ukyo's face flushed horribly in what Xin assumed to be anger. She couldn't be embarrassed, not by what she was asking. "Be more straight-forward," She chided evenly, gently sipping my own tea.

"You told her that if you find any of us suspicious, you would follow any orders given."

"Not if I find you suspicious, specifically but, that's the gist of it," Xin nodded slightly.

"But do you find us suspicious?"

"You and Asuna? No."

"And what about Hideki and Hatsune?"

"I don't think Hideki is suspicious, I think he's angry as fuck and if someone doesn't watch that kid, he might eventually go down a similar path as Kyohei," She answered leisurely. Ukyo's dark brows rose at my words, looking at her teacher with wide eyes. "He's been acting off lately, don't you think? Ever since Asuna noticed Genji's odd behavior, Hideki has been hostile."

"He's been quiet lately but I would have never guessed he's been hostile."

"Ah, well," The bluenette pointed to her eyes. "All seeing eyes and everything."

"That's not even true."

"And how do you know that?" She asked in amusement. Ukyo wrinkled her nose at the words but Xin only smiled lazily. "As for Hatsune...well, it's debatable. She's more of a 50/50 thing. She could be a person of interest or she might be completely useless."

"Sensei, you can't just talk about human beings that way."

"What way?"

"So...blasé."

"You still have so much to learn. So much you haven't seen," She mused in that same lazy tone. "Ignorance is bliss, I suppose," She spoke softly more to herself than to Ukyo.

"Sensei, surely after all this time, you really can't so be distrustful, wary and indifferent of people."

"My best friend turned a blind eye to my torture."

"What?"

Ah, Xin guessed Ukyo really wouldn't have known what happened. It's not like the Hyuga really told anyone. Obviously she knew Xin was being tortured but she supposed she was still ignorant to Jura's involvement. Or, lack of involvement. "When I came to Suna, I felt very isolated. The people generally avoided me or marveled from afar. It was lonely and it frustrated me a lot. It put a strain on my relationship with Gaara. We argued constantly," Xin began to say, poking at the cold food. That wasn't necessarily the truth but it was somewhat close to it. They did fight a lot and she was lonely back then.

"Jura reminded me of a friend back home and though it took some time, I fell easily into a friendship with him. Besides Gaara, I trusted Jura very much and he was the first one I felt like I could be myself around him. I didn't have to act the part that was given to me. I enjoyed that. I enjoyed the friendship…..but…."

"You don't know if you can trust him since he's already turned a blind eye before?"

Xin shrugged one shoulder. "Sometimes being too trusting isn't the best thing," She stated somberly. "It can be your downfall," She told Ukyo gently, hoping she wouldn't be too offended that she was being told her trusting nature could get her into some trouble.

"I see."

The tea had grown cold.

"Ah, there you are."

Hideki didn't stop in striking the training dummy as Xin approached him. It was getting rather late and when she walked Ukyo back to the Mikawa's house, Asuna had expressed her worry for her brother. With a heavy sigh and a quiet grumble, Xin told her that would go talk to her wayward brother. Hideki barely turned to look at Xin, muttering a quick greeting. She watched him whack away at the training dummy with a hand on her hip. Rolling her eyes, she let him go for a few minutes before deciding enough was enough.

Tightening her fingers into a fist, she swooped in and punched the damn thing into a thousand shards of sharp wood. Hideki jumped away with a startled cry. He whipped around with an evil gleam in his eyes. Xin slowly quirked a brow while folding her arms across her chest.

Realization dawned on him and he hunched his shoulders. "Good evening, my Lady. I'm sorry I didn't take notice of you when you first arrived. I was distracted."

"Clearly. Why are you beating the shit out of the training post? And what's with all this formal talk? You're usually not this formal with me."

Hideki shifted, rubbing his arm apprehensively. Xin continued to stare at him before taking a deep breath. "C'mon," She waved him after me, taking a slow stroll away from the training grounds. He easily kept up and she noted blandly that he was a bit taller than she remembered. The two continued in silence and they eventually came to one of the parks spread throughout Suna.

"What's going on, kiddo?" Xin asked casually while sitting down on a park bench. Hideki joined her, albeit slowly. He twisted his hands together, finding an abnormal interest in them. He continued to twist and fiddle with his fingers, leaving the two of them in complete silence. She crossed her legs and began to softly to kick her foot.

"Nothing's going on, Sensei," He muttered without looking up. Xin wasnt sure why he would sometimes call her that. It wasn't like she was really teaching him anything. But if he wouldn't just call her by name, she'd rather he call her Sensei instead of being so formal with her.

"You seem a lot more testy these days. Asuna told me you seemed a little hostile lately."

Hideki grumbled irritably and scowled harshly. Xin waited patiently, deciding that that was all she was going to say. He was going to tell her, he needed someone to talk to. Someone outside of his family.

"I hate Genji."

Ah, shit.

It was silent again for a long time. "Because he took Asuna from your family?" She asked calmly. It was obvious that the family was close-knit and heavily depended on one another since the death of their parents. Xin figured that with Genji coming along and whisking Asuna away to Kiri, it might not sit well with all of the remaining family members.

More so Hideki since he was the youngest. She was sure that Kyohei, Jura and Hatsune had understood and accepted their sister leaving but for Hideki, he must have been hurt. Asuna was obviously the motherly figure he needed and she had been torn right from their little family.

Sometimes she wondered if either of her sisters easily accepted her own departure. They hadn't said anything but it wasn't like either of them to speak their mind unless prompted to do so. Xin hadn't asked them how they felt about leaving Konoha, she pretty much just packed some some of her things up and left. Maybe she should talk to them soon.

"He didn't have to take her to Kiri in the first place," Hideki suddenly spat, wringing his hands a little too hard for her liking. "That's when Kyo started acting funny and Jura had to take all of these missions to support us and Hatsune got real grouchy around that time…"

Xin hummed quietly.

"And then she comes back and makes us think everything is going to go back to being normal but that's not even the case! She comes back pregnant and then Genji shows up and makes everything worse. He's been acting weird ever since he came to live with us and they were always arguing and now he just vanishes!"

Aw, hell.

"What's the matter with him, she's pregnant! How can you just leave your pregnant wife after weeks and weeks of arguing with her? Asuna doesn't deserve that, she doesn't any of that treatment."

"Hideki," Xin placed a hand on his shoulder and watched him as he sucked in mouthfuls of air. "Slow down, kiddo," She chided quietly. "I know Asuna doesn't deserve any of that but it's not your business. She's a grown woman, you are not."

"But she's my sister!" Hideki snapped hotly, jumping up into a defensive stance. Xin only stared at him, head slightly tilted to the side. Talented Chunin or not, he wasn't a match for her and both of them knew that.

"Sit down," Xin ordered icily. He did so, looking slighted but still angry. "She's your sister, yes, but she is grown and has made her own choices. Sometimes the choices we make don't always benefit us and sometimes it'll even fuck us over but that's what being an adult is about. Tell me, where do you think Genji has vanished to?"

"He's with another woman."

She closed her eyes and snorted. God, if only it was that simple. "Alright, now tell me, you don't think it's a little odd that your brothers have also disappeared along with Genji?"

"They're Shinobi, Sensei, they're always gone on missions," He answered with a squint of his eyes. What else did Shinobi do with their time?

This time, she laughed and shook her head. "Fair enough. Next question, what do you plan on doing to Genji? Clearly you'll retaliate when he shows back up, yes?"

"I'm going to kill him."

"Ah, I see," Xin nodded my head. "Killing is quite easy, you know? I've done it a million times and no doubt I'll do it a million more times. How do you plan on killing your brother in law? Beheading him? Disemboweling him? Slitting his throat with a kunai knife? Oh, you could always ambush him and corner him with your team. Catch him in a Genjutsu, perhaps? Oh yes, killing is quite easy. But the aftermath? Do you think you can handle the death of your brother on your shoulders? Of course, killing a fellow villager for no good reason is against the law. And more importantly, he's considered a villager, not a Shinobi, so murdering a villager would be even worse..."

Hideki's face pulled in slight anger. "You've done it a million times so how do you shoulder all of the deaths? What makes you different from me?"

She stared at him hard and he seemed to shrink under her gaze. She raised her eyebrows apathetically. "You want me to be honest?"

"You always are, Sensei."

Usually Xin would have laughed but she didn't really feel like it. "I don't care, Hideki. I honestly don't give a fuck about a stranger's life. If Gaara orders me to kill someone, I will do it. Doesn't matter what they've done to offend the village, I'm given an order and I carry it out. I don't have time to deal with the aftermath of guilt that's sure to come because I'm already hunting down the next offender. I've done so for Tsunade and I will do so for Gaara," her foot shook a little harder but she held her mask of indifference firmly in place.

"I have bathed in the blood of enemies, destroyed homes, burned them to the ground in the name of Konoha. I'll do it in the name of Suna. Why do I do it? Because it's what I'm good at. It's what is asked of me. So tell me, Hideki, can you really kill Genji because your sister is unhappy? Can you deal with her inevitable mourning afterwards? And when it is discovered that you killed Genji, will you be able to deal with the repercussions?"

To her utter relief, Hideki had gone very pale. He seemed to have suddenly realized that he wasn't just sitting next to the wife of his leader but a cold-blooded killer. It scared the shit out of him. That was good.

"I told Asuna that the minute you tied your headband, you were no longer a child. That's not true, I suppose. You are still a young Shinobi, just a Chunin. Hopefully Gaara won't need to send you on a mission with the intents to kill for a very long time. Take advantage of that, eventually the way of Shinobi will overtake you, you might become jaded. Enjoy the life you have now."

It was silent between the two of them for a long time. With a soft sigh, she slid a little closer and placed her arm around him.

I did not speak of his tears to anyone.

"Life treating you well, Jura?"

Xin casually strolled into the room, toting two bags. Jura glanced up at her, raising one eyebrow as she slid her shoes off and sat down across from him. She settled the bags on the table. "I'm a goddamn prisoner, Xin, what do you think?"

"Oh don't be so dramatic," She waved her hand causally. "Have they attempted to poison you? Drag you out into that hallway to beat the shit out of you?"

"Christ, Xin, I said I was sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make my nightmares go away, does it?"

"You...you have nightmares?"

"I mean I was tortured and nearly raped but it's alright, I have nightmares all the time about other things."

"You're psychotic, Xin."

"So you've said before."

Jura looked away in shame and Xin calmly rifled through the bag. She set a carton of fried scorpion down before him. He stared at the carton with hungry eyes before looking up at her. "You're a cruel woman."

"Yes, I am," Xin grinned wolfishly. "I'll untie you but you have to promise to behave, alright?" She stared back at him casually. Jura stared at the tiny woman with drawn brows. They joked often that she was crazy but had she really lost her mind? He was a prisoner and here she was offering to untie him so he could eat?

He only nodded, wondering just what was going on in her strange mind. Pleased with his compliance, Xin got up and rounded the table to undo his bonds. He stretched his arms as soon as she sat back down, keeping his hands in plain sight. Xin opened her own carton of shrimp fried rice and pushed his carton of fried scorpions and rice towards him. The two ate in comfortable silence, seemingly forgetting all of their troubles just outside the door.

"How's the weather been lately?"

"Windy, you moron, like any other day."

Jura snorted into his food and Xin rolled her eyes. For a moment, he forgot that he was locked away. He felt calm, relaxed. Despite the questionable state of her sanity, Xin had a calming effect on him. He supposed that's what being in love with someone meant. The minute you saw their face, your worries were put to rest for the time being.

"Asuna worries for you, Kyohei and Genji."

"Does she know?"

"She does."

Jura paled considerably but said nothing. "What about Hatsune and Hideki? Do they know?" He asked quietly, hoping to God that Xin had been kind enough to spare his younger siblings.

Xin shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't mention it to them but I'm not sure if Asuna or Kankuro told them. I've spoken to Hideki, he's been acting out of sorts lately," she stated. He was aware of how much trouble Xin could get in. He wasn't exactly sure about Gaara's rules for withholding someone, but he was sure he wouldn't like his wife talking to a prisoner and informing them of what was going on outside their confinement. "He's been considering some nasty thoughts but I think I might have scared him away from those thoughts."

"Thoughts of killing Genji?"

"Ah, so he has spoken of such things before."

"Only once, before the Tower went up into flames. While you and Ukyo were sparring he told me he would kill Genji if it was found out he was cheating on her. I told him that he couldn't and he said Shinobi are trained to kill and that you threaten to kill people all the time. I asked him if you follow through on those threats and he said he wasn't sure but you do smell of flowers and old blood," Jura told her. Xin started to grin but quickly pinched her lips together at Jura's glare. "I told him that it didn't matter and that he could not kill Genji. He seemed put out by my words but didn't say anything else about it since."

"I do not smell of flowers and old blood, goddammit," Xin muttered with a slight pout. "That's besides the point, I guess. I spoke with him the other night and he claimed he would kill Genji for Asuna's mistreatment," Xin paused to grab the other bag, pulling two water bottles out. She set one in front of Jura and cracked the other one open. She took a long gulp and sighed heavily.

"What did you say to my little brother?"

Her eyes became glassy. "I told him who I really was. In our inner circle, we often joke of my vicious attitude but I don't think some of us realize that there is a little truth in every joke. I simply confirmed to him that I am exactly what we joke about. And I asked him: could he live like I did? Could he do it? Could he handle it?" it almost sounded like she was talking to herself and not to him. Jura watched her warily. For the first time, he felt that perhaps Xin didn't like who she was. Or, the role she played. She claimed she enjoyed it but he had a feeling that she simply forced herself to enjoy it because that's all she knew. She didn't know how to be normal. She knew how to kill, how to brutal and threatening. But did she like it?

She took a long breath and then smiled very gently. "I think I pushed him away from the path he was heading down. He's a good kid, I couldn't let him ruin himself. I couldn't let him turn into…."

"You?"

Her gentle smile twisted into a dejected smile instead. Slowly she nodded, "right, me. I couldn't let him turn into me."

"Thank you, Xin."

Again she nodded and said nothing more of Hideki. They continued their meal in silence. Only when they finished and she was gathering their trash in the bags did he speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you the last time you were here."

"Hm?"

"How I feel towards you."

"Oh...ah, I'm sorry for hitting you. I know that's not how a girl should act but...I didn't know how to react."

"Did you hit Kazekage-sama when he confessed his feelings for you?"

She considered the question quietly and then shrugged. "I made the first move. It was hard to read Gaara back then and I assumed he might like me since he didn't try to kill me. One day I just jumped on him and kissed him. He kissed me back and boom, the rest is history," She told him with a simple shrug. She wondered if it was weird to talk to a man who had feelings for her about her husband.

Jura chuckled. "You two are an odd pair but I think you match."

"I think we do too," She grimaced through a smile. "I...I'm sorry, Jura. I won't betray my husband."

"I know you won't, Xin. I didn't expect you to. I'll never expect you too."

Xin's smile became less of a grimace. "Goodbye, Jura."

When Gaara came home that night, he found Xin in the kitchen. Temari was with her, helping her with whatever she was preparing for dinner. He noticed that while Temari pleasantly chattered away, Xin didn't offer much but small noises so that Temari knew she was listening. His wife didn't even notice when he made his presence known. His sister greeted him with a tight smile, eyes darting towards Xin. It was clear that she had taken notice of Xin's quiet mood. Setting the knife down, she gathered the chopped potatoes into a bowl and set them down with the rest of Xin's gathered ingredients. She slipped out of the kitchen without so much of a squeak.

He approached her back and Xin still didn't take notice of him. That was odd. She jumped when he slipped his arm around her waist, leaning in to kiss the side of her head. "O-Oh," She startled with wide eyes, finally breaking out of her quietness. "I didn't know you were home. Welcome home," She did nothing but pat his hand before turning her attention back to the cooking.

"Are you alright, Xin?"

"Of course I am, why does everyone keep asking that?"

"Because you're acting odd."

Xin took a deep breath and began wringing her hands together. "It's just been a long week, I suppose," Xin finally said with a tight frown. "I'm not used to dealing with….ah the repercussions," She told him, pulling hard at her fingers. He frowned at her, slightly confused by her words. "We aren't the only ones affected by the betrayal of the Mikawa brothers. I think they were what I could consider friends and it's just difficult seeing them the way they are right now. I feel guilty."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just do. Maybe because I still plan on snapping Kyohei's neck when I see him."

"Xin…."

"I knoooooow. I'm not allowed near this mission. All I'm saying is that nine times out of ten, Kyohei and Genji will be dragged back here alive. You can do what you want to Genji."

"Thanks for the permission."

Xin finally cracked a smile at his dry retort and his shoulders relaxed. A smiling Xin was better than a frowning Xin. Wriggling out of his hold, she gathered the ingredients to dump into the large pot. He noticed she added a strong spice to the mix. He rolled his eyes, tomorrow they would have a Suna dish for dinner.

She busied herself with stirring the contents of the pot before sliding a lid over it. She twisted the dial of the timer and set it down before turning to look up at him. "Long day?" She prompted as he sunk down at the kitchen table. He grunted in confirmation and she moved to stand behind him. "It's always a long day, isn't it?" He could just hear the mirth in her smile. Her tiny hands slid over his shoulders, thin fingers digging into his taut muscles.

He nearly slumped forward while she worked the knots in his shoulders. "Christ, Gaara, with how tight you're wound, how do you move around? This isn't good for you at all," She chided in concern, hands running down his back. She found more knots and pushed at him until he was slightly draped over the table. Xin's brow knitted together as she worked and eased the tension from his back. "For Kaguya's sake…." She muttered softly, attacking the kinks and knots with vigor. By the time she was finished, her own hands were aching.

Despite the ache, her husband's shoulders weren't so tightly strung and the stiffness of his back had relaxed. His arms were crossed and pillowed his head. She took notice of his relaxed face, eyes softly closed. Smiling softly, she leaned further down, laying her chest against his back. Her hands worked around his torso, clasping together at his chest. She wasn't terribly comfortable but she couldn't find it in herself to ask him to sit up.

When he didn't wave her away, she turned her face into his neck, laying puckered lips against his flesh. He inhaled sharply but didn't object to the affections. She tightened her grip on him and slid her teeth over his skin, nibbling so softly that he barely noticed it. He hummed under her, one of his hands coming up to rest against her clasped hands. "Xin," his voice cut through the silence, warning her.

Xin stilled, slowly releasing his flesh from the confines of her teeth. "You're my husband. I'm allowed to kiss you."

"Do you remember the last time I kissed you?"

"You mean before the tower went up in flames? Yes I remember. It was nice."

"You nearly had a panic attack."

"Well excuse me for not knowing what to do. It's not like I was taught how to treat my husband."

Xin straightened up completely with a small huff. Gaara also sat up, chuckling in that gravelly way she adored. To her surprise, he held his arm out towards her. With slow steps, just in case he changed his mind, she rounded on him to stand in front of him. His face held slight amusement but his arm didn't falter.

Gingerly she sat herself down on his lap, wondering if maybe she weighed too much. Men often carried her over their shoulder or in their arms and they didn't complain about her weight. Well, they never complained to her face about her weight. Christ, what if her enormous ass crushed his legs?

Ready to jump off his lap, she was hindered when his arm wound tightly around her slim waist. "How to treat your husband isn't something that can be taught," He muttered softly, face pressed against her neck. Xin thought to push him away, after all, didn't he just give her a warning? When she opened her mouth to remind him of that, a giggle escaped instead. Slightly mortified that such a sound left her mouth, she blushed.

She felt his lips pull into a smirk against her throat. "Cute," He chuckled, fingers absently caressing her hip. Xin blushed even harder but smiled. She pulled away from him to stare down into his face, phantom eyes roving over the features that made up his face. It was almost like she was seeing him for the first time in a long time.

She thought to their progression as a couple. From their days to nearly killing each other to slowly sharing lunches together to worrying for one another and finally embracing one another. They had accepted each other and though it had been difficult, come to care for one another. When she was locked away in that disgusting cell with nothing but her spilled blood and twisted thoughts to keep her company, she had wondered if Gaara searched for her. If he cared that she was gone. She wondered if he would miss her.

And he did. He missed her and cared that she was gone. He searched for her and had acted irrational due to her lack of presence and due to her return, halfway at death's door.

"I love you," Xin suddenly confessed, eyes widening a half-second later. He stared back at her, eyes as wide as hers. The timer suddenly went off and Xin scrambled from his lap. From somewhere, probably the living room, they could hear Kankuro cheering for dinner. By the time his mind caught up with him, Xin was already dishing out dinner.

Temari and Kankuro could just feel the tense atmosphere but they weren't sure what had happened between the couple. They hadn't heard any screaming and nothing had been broken so it didn't seem like they were fighting. They glanced in between the two, noting that Xin kept her eyes glued to her food while Gaara kept his eyes glued to her face.

"Are you two alright?" Temari broke first, suspicious eyes darting between the two. Xin rolled her bottom lip into her mouth, biting the flesh hard as her face brightened. Gaara's stony face didn't change. "You're acting weird."

"I'm fine," Xin mumbled, eyes finding her food a little too fascinating. Gaara didn't bother to reply, not even bothering to break his stare. "Would you stop staring at me?" Xinhissed after realizing that his gaze still hadn't faltered.

"You can't take it back."

"Shut the fuck up, there's nothing to take back."

Gaara finally broke his stare, a slight quirk to the corner of his lips. Temari and Kankuro remained shrouded in confusion, clearly missing a key element in their brother's whacky marriage. Dinner was soon finished and surprisingly, Xin volunteered to help Kankuro with the dishes. Their surprise was obvious as Xin had established the kitchen rules when it came to cooking and cleaning the aftermath.

Nonetheless, she ended up at the sink with her older brother in law. It was silent between the two as she dunked the dirtied utensils, pot and dishes into the hot water. Kankuro blatantly stared as she began rinsing the dishes, taking whatever dish she handed to him to dry. "It's not like you to avoid something," Kankuro commented casually three minutes into the chore.

Xin's hands paused and he watched as she pressed her tongue to her teeth. "I'm not avoiding anything," Xin stated calmly, resuming her chore. Obviously she knew she was avoiding Gaara but hell if she was going to talk about what her stupid ass just admitted. And why would she even say such a thing? What did she know about being in love? What in God's name was wrong with her?

Kankuro snorted at her words and narrowly dodged out of the way when she jerked a knife at him. "No need to attack me, Jesus," Kankuro chided her. Xin only gave him a short look and shrugged one shoulder. "Whatever it is, I'm sure Gaara won't let it go. What'd you do now?"

Xin took a deep breath, eyebrows puckered. "I said something I shouldn't have said," She stated simply. There was no way she was going to tell her obnoxious brother what exactly she had said. He might have been older than her (ha, by just one measly year) but he often took the time to be immature, especially when it came to picking with her. She liked to believe that her relationship with Neji should have been similar.

Again, Kankuro snorted. "That's not a surprise. You have a tendency to just blurt shit out, probably your worst feature. I doubt we'll ever fix that, maybe it doesn't need to be fixed. It's one of the traits that makes you who you are," Kankuro stated, suddenly very serious. Xin only blinked up at him, slightly disturbed. "Anyway, like I was saying, you blurted some dumb shit out, I'm sure he's not mad with you. It seems that lately, you have my brother wrapped around your finger—which is kind of disturbing but Temari says it was bound to happen but I still think it's weird…"

Xin rolled her eyes at his babbling but smiled in amusement. "I didn't say anything to anger him. More so...it surprised him. It surprised me as well and I don't know exactly how to explain what I said to him…" She tried to describe her problem without telling him of her sudden declaration of love for his brother.

"Oh, well, it's not as bad as I thought then. Whatever you said you must have meant to say it, but you weren't expecting to say it suddenly, right? Just be truthful, that's all you know how to be anyway, why stop now? Why question it?"

Oddly enough, it sounded like he knew exactly what her big ass mouth had blurted out. She didn't know how to feel about the smile in Kankuro's dark eyes but she only nodded. "Right, you're right," She agreed with smiling lips. She looked up at him, head slightly tilted to the side. "Thank you, Kankuro. I suppose you aren't as stupid as I thought."

"Fuck you, Xin," despite his words, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder for a one-armed hug. She guessed her relationship with Gaara hadn't been the only relationship that had changed for the better over time.

She liked the thought of that.

Despite Kankuro's advice, Xin still felt her stomach twist as she showered. Gaara hadn't been in the room when she checked and she had quickly darted to the bathroom before he could pop out of the goddamn shadows to corner her. When she finally made her way to the bedroom, Gaara was nowhere to be found. It looked as she left it thirty minutes ago. Xin frowned, eyes searching the room for any clues but came up with nothing. Maybe she should just go to bed but her pressing need to know of his whereabouts forced her to turn around and venture downstairs.

Kankuro was nowhere to be found but Temari was in the living room. She was dressed for bed but every so often her eyes would wander to the front hall leading to the door. Xin watched from the bottom of the stairs quietly before finally deciding to approach the blonde. "Where's Gaara?" She asked as casually as possible. Temari's wandering gaze found her, blonde brow slightly quirked as Xin approached her. Xin settled on the opposite end of the couch, curling into it and dragging her legs up to press against her chest. She wrapped her arms around her knees.

"He had to return to the tower."

Xin scowled. "This late at night? Whatever it is couldn't have waited until morning?"

Temari almost smiled at the younger woman's words. "Nothing can ever wait until morning when you're a Kage," Temari commented simply, drumming her fingers against the couch. "It was the team sent on to Masahiro's hideout."

Xin's interest piqued, she raised both eyebrows, silently asking her question. Temari only shook her head. "I don't know what's going on but it didn't sound good," She revealed with a frown. Xin's shoulders stiffened but she didn't move. "But there's more pressing matters to attend to."

Xin looked a little more interested. What was more pressing than the results of the tracking mission? She hadn't even been aware that a team had been sent out already. Gaara really was doing everything he could to keep her away from this mission.

"What happened between the two of you?"

"I'm sorry?"

Temari rolled her eyes. "You're not deaf, you heard me. Now tell me what happened. You two were acting strange at dinner. And not the weird way you usually act around one another. This was like when you first came here. Tell me what happened."

Xin bit back a groan. "You're such a busy-body. And why do you even care? Isn't it kind of weird to have a girl talk about your brother?"

Temari shrugged a shoulder. "I'm the only one you can talk freely about this," She pointed out. Who else would talk to Xin about her marriage? Who else knew all the technical details? Who else knew it was really just an elaborate stunt? Knowing she was defeated, she shot the blonde a dirty look. Fine, she'd tell her about what happened but the moment Temari wrinkled her nose, she was gonna get the shit kicked out of her.

"I told him that I love him."

For a minute, nothing happened. And then Temari quirked a very slow brow. "You told him that you love him," She repeated just to make sure she heard right. Xin simply nodded, waiting for Temari's next words. "Well, do you?"

Well, she wasn't expecting that but she supposed it would make sense that his sister would ask that sort of question. Declaring your love for a man who hadn't ever felt loved was a big thing. She wouldn't have told him she did if she really didn't knowing that, would she? Even Xin couldn't be that cruel. "I…" Xin paused, seriously thinking it all over. "I don't think I would have said it if I didn't love him."

"So you do love him."

"I would think so."

Temari's eyes narrowed. "That's not good enough," She stated firmly, ignoring Xin's quiet huff. "You can't just tell him that and then say you think you do. You either do or you don't," Temari nearly snapped. Xin's lips pressed in agitation. This was exactly why she didn't want to talk about it. In a sense, she was like Gaara. She didn't know a thing about love, her childhood severally lacked it. But Temari wouldn't let up and she prodded a little more at Xin. "Do you or don't you? You can't just tell him that and then say you guess you do, that's cruel."

Xin could just feel that vein in her forehead twitching. "It's hard to explain. I was just looking at him and thinking about our relationship, how much it's progressed since the start and...it just came out," She explained, licking her lips almost nervously.

"Have you ever been in love before?" Temari suddenly asked, causing Xin to pause thoughtfully.

"No, I haven't. But I've had a crush before. But I don't think that really counts, does it?"

Temari let out a soft chuckle. "No, it's not. Being in love is stronger than just having a crush on someone."

"Do you have a crush on Shikamaru?"

Temari's face darkened, a red blush crawling up the back of her neck. "No, I don't have a crush on him."

"So you love him then?"

"I…"

"You don't know, right?" Xin leered at the blonde, quite satisfied. "Isn't it kind of hard to tell? Kind of hard to explain too, right?" it was Xin's turn to poke and prod at Temari. She did so with obvious glee.

"Shut up, Xin. This isn't about me, remember? I'm not married to Shikamaru—"

"Neither am I."

"Xin."

This time, Xin let out a trickle of giggles but nodded obediently. "I'll behave, I promise. This is about me, I get it. Me and my weird feelings for your stupid brother," She nodded her head, shifting a little into a more comfortable position.

"My stupid brother? He's your stupid husband," Temari commented, a grin cracking at her lips. It was quiet for just a moment before Temari broke it once more. "You know, when Jura brought you to us, you were delirious."

"Well, I did get the shit beaten out of me. Not to mention I was starved so…."

Temari's grin dropped but Xin only shrugged. "Well," Temari began, a tad bit uncomfortable with Xin's casual attitude towards her time away. "Loose lips sink ships," Temari simply stated, finding amusement in Xin's obvious confusion. She could just see the question forming in Xin's face—the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"Ukyo wanted me to keep you awake so I talked to you. You told me that you missed us and that you missed Gaara. You said one of your favorite things was Gaara's eyes," Temari began to explain, taking note of Xin's blushing face. "You told me he has very nice lips and you thought about him a lot. I didn't even know you had encountered the Shukaku at all."

"Yes, we're close," Xin joked blandly.

Temari rolled her eyes, clearly not finding any humor when it came to her brother's demon. "My point is, you obviously care a great deal for my brother since you wouldn't shut up about it. I know love is a foreign thing to you and we're often taught that it's a useless emotion that will only get in the way but it isn't so bad. It can't be," Temari insisted, intent on making Xin see things differently. Xin, however, did not respond. "You don't have to be embarrassed, Xin. Love isn't the enemy."

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

Temari paused, staring intently at the younger woman. So it wasn't the fact that she admitted her feelings towards him, it was just she feared he wouldn't feel the same way towards her. It had always been her fear. She didn't deserve his kindness, not with the blood staining her hands. How could she hope someone like him would really look past what she is?

"You have so much doubt in yourself," Temari commented with low eyes. Not that Temari could blame her. She had done a lot of terrible things, most of them were probably unforgivable. But looking into Xin's young face, Temari felt that maybe she was wrong. She was just a kunoichi following orders. "I think Gaara is willing to look past it all, everything you've done. We're not all innocent, after all. We've all done things we most likely regret in the past. You can't be the only one held accountable. If that's the case, none of us deserve to be happy. What if he does feel the same way, then what?"

"I...I don't know."

"Then you two can just be happy."

Xin rolled her eyes, sighing. "I don't think it's that easy, Temari. It's an easy thing to say and easy to decide but when you haven't lived a good life….you just don't expect the Gods to smile upon you all of a sudden." Xin pointed out almost sadly. Temari allowed the words to sink in, finding some truth in it. The Gods were odd beings but they had kept Xin alive this long for some reason.

"I never thought you were the religious type. You take the Gods' names in vain too much," Temari commented, knowingly baiting the younger woman.

A slow smile crept across Xin's face. "Fuck off," She snorted while shifting until she was stretched out on the couch. She shoved Temari's hands away and placed her head in the blonde's lap.

"Such a spoiled," Temari pinched Xin's ear, smirking when she whined. "Vulgar little brat. My goodness, my baby brother married such a woman," She grinned down at Xin when she tried to wave her hand away. The younger woman rolled her eyes, sometimes Temari could be so childish. Which was shocking because she was supposed to be the oldest one, the most mature.

"I think I just told you to fuck off, didn't I?" Xin asked sourly, huffing when Temari let out an amused chuckle.

"Will you take care of him for me?"

Xin blinked, looking up at the blonde. "For you? Temari, we literally live in the same house. What will I do that you can't do for him?"

"Love him the way a wife loves a husband."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Xin huffed while trying to stave away a blush. "You make it sound like you're planning on leaving," Xin pointed out with a look of disbelief. Temari said nothing but hummed quietly. Xin squinted up at her, one brow quirking. "But you're not, right?"

"No, I suppose not," Temari smiled a smile that reminded Xin of a sly fox.

"You're fuckin' weird."

"Shut the hell up."

"Oi, I got some more—Jesus Christ!"

Jura was slumped over the table with a puddle of blood under him. Baki stood over him impassively, arms folded across his broad chest. Xin dropped the bag of takeout, not giving a damn that it spilled all over the floor and rushed to the table. "What the fuck?" She exclaimed, nearly slipping on the puddle of blood. "Baki, are you blind?! He's bleeding, why haven't you called for medical attention! Fuck me, look how deep this wound is! Move!"

Before she could even try to gather enough Chakra in her hands, Baki grabbed her by the shoulder. As if she weighed nothing more than a piece of paper, he yanked her away from Jura's prone form. "I didn't call for medical attention because I don't need it," Baki stated simply.

"Clearly you don't need it! You're not the one dying right now!" Xin snapped hotly, her temper suddenly exploding. What in the fuck was wrong with Baki?

"My Lady," Baki caught her around the waist when she tried to hurry back towards Jura. Baki was giving her the most evil look she'd ever seen on his face. It stopped her in her tracks, looking at him with her face twisted up into confusion.

Xin grabbed at his arm, digging her nails into his sleeve. "Just tell me what's going on, Baki. Why are you trying to kill him? He's done nothing wrong! He's been locked down here the entire time, what is the meaning of this?"

Baki's expression morphed into cool indifference once more. "He gave us incorrect coordinates. The team sent to retrieve Genji and Kyohei was slaughtered. Only one survivor."

The woman's face lost any color that it could have possibly possessed. She slowly turned to Jura, lips parted slightly. "But...how can that be?" Xin asked stupidly. Baki scowled harshly and she faltered under his gaze, suddenly feeling guilty. "Let me talk to him, Baki."

"I don't think—"

"Let me talk to him."

Against his better judgement, Baki silently agreed. He let her go and she moved towards the table. "Twenty minutes, Xin," He told her sternly. She only nodded obediently and he stepped out, closing the door behind him.

Xin settled down across from Jura but said nothing for a long time. The little woman tapped her nails against the tabletop for a couple of minutes, trying to figure out a plan of action. "You gave false coordinates."

Jura shifted, slowly sitting up despite the gushing wound in his side. His face was bruised and puffy but he didn't seemed too bothered by it. "I gave false coordinates."

She frowned softly. "I see. Why?" She pressed for answers. Jura didn't say anything and Xin sighed. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with. Planning on threatening and killing Kyohei and Masahiro and the rest of their idiotic following was easy. Jura, on the other hand, was supposed to be her best friend. "Jura, are you going to make me hurt you? I've had a long week and hurting you wasn't on my agenda."

"But you would?"

She shrugged apathetically. "If I have to. People are dead, innocent people. There's a psycho out there planning on killing my husband and possibly me, so, it's not like I can just let that happen."

Jura let out a loud sigh. "I don't think there's much you can do when it comes to torturing me. I mean, as you can see, Baki was going pretty hard and I still haven't said anything…."

She tapped my nails against the tabletop a little harder. "I'll call Baki in here and ask him to bring your siblings here. And Ukyo, can't forget her, right?" She hummed casually. Jura squinted at her but Xin just smiled sweetly. "I'll kill them in front of you, Jura. None of them are a match for me," Xin stated simply, watching his eyes widen. "I'd kill Hatsune first, drag her in here by her hair, slam her head down on the table, probably break the leg off of this chair and beat her in the head until she stops moving," She started to explain. "Cut her head off and set it right in front of you…."

"Xin….."

"I'd probably suffocate Hideki. He wouldn't put up much of a fight, no one to be concerned with. Now Ukyo, she's someone to worry about but I think I can handle her. Tie her down and slit her wrists, let her bleed for a little, slit her neck and then hang her upside down so she slowly but surely drains…"

"Please stop….."

"And then we have Asuna left! Now see, I might let her live since she is pregnant and all. But the death of her family might just drive her insane, I mean she already has to deal with Kyohei and Genji…."

"Xin, please."

Xin got up and slapped the table completely out of the way. It smashed into the wall but luckily didn't break. "Then tell me what I want to know! Tell me the fuckin' truth or I swear to God I'll slaughter all of them and make you drink their blood, do you hear me? There will be so much goddamn blood, you'll bathe in that shit! And if you think I'll stop there, ha, you have another fuckin' thing coming!"

She leaned in, veins around her eyes erupting and pulsing. "I will not stop there. I will hunt your damn brother down and I will drag his, Genji and Minori's little scrawny asses back here to this very room and murder them in front of you. I'll stomp Minori's fuckin' head in and smear her brain matter all over these damn walls. I will beat the shit out of Genji, break every bone in his body and let him slowly succumb to whatever kills him first. And Kyohei, oh sweetheart, I'm going to drag his entrails across this room. I'm going to cut him open and I'm going to take some very important things out of him. And I'm going to sew him back up and see how long he lasts. And I will tell him that it's all because of you. Your family will die because of you."

Jura was staring back at her with wide eyes. "You….really are a monster," He suddenly said with nearly trembling lips. "All this time...I thought maybe you've changed your ways, calmed down a little but….you're a wolf in sheep's clothing…"

Xin tilted my head to the side, smiling in insane amusement. "Oh, Jura," She cooed while cupping his face. "Don't you understand?" She caressed his jaw almost lovingly and leaned in so close her lips nearly brushed his. "There's only one reason I'm here," her nails pressed into his face, nearly drawing blood. Her twisted smile stretched, baring her teeth at him.

"I'm here to wreak havoc."

There's blood staining her hands, he noticed almost immediately. She was sitting at the kitchen table with a haunted look in her eyes. He slowly sat down next to her but said nothing. Quietly, she pushed a plate of food towards him. Gaara eyed the plate of food for a good minute before his eyes strayed back to her hands. "Did you cook with blood on your hands?"

A very slow smile crept across her lips. She chuckled lowly and shook her head. "I didn't cook. It's takeout. Ukyo went and got it for me."

He was relieved that she hadn't gone out to a public place of business with bloodstained hands.

"Is it Mikawa's blood?"

"Yes."

"Is he dead?"

"No," Xin answered blankly. Gaara nodded slowly, taking several minutes to quietly chew his food and think of his next set of questions. But Xin beat him to it. "Baki relayed the information to you?"

"Yes, although I'm not sure we can trust Mikawa's word anymore."

"I think it's safe to say we can trust it this time."

"What makes you so sure?"

Xin shifted, lifting her bloody fingers to play with a lock of her hair. "I threatened to kill his entire family in front of him if he lied again," She didn't look proud of the revelation but she also didn't seem ashamed with it either.

The kitchen was quiet as the two stared at one another. Xin's gaze was bluntly unapologetic and although Gaara wanted to be furious with her, he couldn't deny that she had gotten the information that was needed. Still, he didn't want to seemingly reward her for that information when she threatened an entire family to get it.

"I thought we were working on being a better person."

"Would you love me if I was a better person?"

Gaara met her gaze with one of his own that clearly showed his displeasure. "I realized something when I was talking to him," Xin said before he could answer her odd question. "I can try all I want to be a better person and I may even succeed for a while but….I'll always go back to my wicked ways. I realized that when I threatened to kill them and meant it."

"So you think I won't love you if you aren't a better person?" Gaara asked after her words finally hit home. A bout of frustration hit him. He was starting to get sick of her 'I'm a monster, you can't love me for who I am' bullshit. It was getting old. Who the hell was she anyway to decide something like that for him?

Xin's face twisted and she drew into herself. "I..I don't want to have this conversation," She muttered sullenly while standing. "I'm gonna go shower and go to bed…" She told him, hurrying out of the kitchen before he could stop her.

Gaara growled at her retreating back but decided to let her go. It was not the end of their conversation though. With that in mind, he packed the takeout back up and stored it away in the fridge. He waited until he could hear the shower running before venturing up to their room. Her shower was a quick one because she came bustling in only seconds after him. She paused at the door, frowning softly before closing it. "Don't you have some important document to look over?" She mumbled with that same sullen attitude.

"It's not like you to mope," He pointed out, trying very hard to ignore her flimsy towel. Xin huffed and hurried to their closet, water dripping from the tips of her hair. She kept a deathlike grip on her towel like she feared it would just drop on its own at any moment. "Why are you convinced that I can't love you?" He asked, watching as her back stiffened. "You aren't the only one who's killed. What makes you so different?"

When she didn't react, Gaara was sure she was going to leave it at that. But she suddenly whipped around, nearly losing her towel in her haste. "Don't you get it?" Her face broke up. "I'm...I tried to be a better person for you, Gaara. But I can't and honestly, I probably don't want to! And don't try to tell me it's okay, that I'm okay the way I am because I know I'm not! I threatened to kill the Mikawa family, they're literally innocent and I meant every word I said. And...and...Jura is my best friend and I just had to wash his blood off my hands and I don't even care!" Xin thundered out, pitched voice coming out in strangled screeches.

Gaara waited until she was taking steadying breaths to approach her. He did so in a slow manner, wary of her mental breakdown. Her eyes were wide, nearly resembling the moon with their color and size. Her grip on the edge of the towel tightened considerably.

"You...you just don't understand, Gaara. I would do anything for you. Do you know how dangerous that it is? I'd burn an entire village down for you, all you have to ask and I'd do it for you," She began to spit rapid fire, her lips struggling to form the words. "I was prepared to hate you. I was going to hate you for the rest of my life, my dying breath would have been filled with hate for you. I was determined to make this marriage miserable. But noooooo, when does anything ever go my way!?" Xin threw her hands up, not taking any notice of her towel slipping a bit down her chest.

"Stop shouting," Gaara stated smoothly, hands reaching out to grip at her towel. Her face darkened almost instantly and tried to slap his hands away. Xin looked almost flabbergasted at his simple command. "You're acting crazy and you're naked. So calm down and put some clothes on," He tried to make it sound less like an order and more like a helpful suggestion but her face screwed up almost angrily.

"That's not the point!"

Gaara rolled his eyes at her behavior. This wasn't supposed to turn into an argument but of course, anything that has something to do with Xin turns out to be rather difficult. "Xin, you fuckin' harpy, I don't care!" He snapped in her face. "You're not the only one with blood on your hands so stop acting like you're the worst person in the world. It's getting old."

Xin recoiled like she'd been slapped or burned. She blinked rapidly, clearly confused. "...Stop calling me a harpy all of the time!" She suddenly snapped, throwing him for a loop. Out of anything to comment on, she chose the name calling. "And...and don't tell me what to do either," She muttered, pouting almost childishly.

Gaara let go of her towel, watching it slip even further down her chest. "Well stop screaming all the time and I wouldn't call you that—fix your towel—and someone needs to tell you what to do because if not, then you do stupid things. Now stop trying to change the subject—and pull your towel up—so we can talk about this like adults."

Xin huffed heavy sigh, the motion of her chest heaving disturbed her towel even further. "There's nothing to really talk about. I'm in love with you, that's all there is to love," She stated while steadily avoiding his eyes.

"I've never been in love," He pointed out almost quietly. She chuckled softly.

"Neither have I," She also pointed out. "I know you've never been in love. It's kind of obvious with all the females following you around like dogs in heat and you being terribly oblivious to them. But, you know, it's okay. I can love you enough for the both of us, until you do love or you decide you don't want to love me."

"What happens if I decide not to love you?"

Xin's eyes lowered, eyelashes fluttering. "Well, then you decide not to love me. I can't force to you fall in love with me but I do think I want you to fall in love, at least. It's scary but it's nice at the same time. I mean, scary because you know, I'd murder someone for you but nice because simple things like just seeing your stupid face makes me happy."

"If it makes you happy, why were you so against it?"

Her hand came up, rubbing the back of her neck almost sheepishly. "Because I'm convinced I don't deserve it but that's besides the point right now," She scratched a little harder at her neck and absently pulled her towel up. It slid back down. "Lately I've been hoping that what I said all those months ago could be wrong. Maybe we can be happy and maybe we can be in love and Temari says it's possible but…."

"You talked to Temari about this?"

"It's not like I can talk to my own sisters about this," She muttered blankly. "Or anyone, for that matter. Besides Kankuro or Baki. Something tells me that neither of them would appreciate having a girl talk with me," Xin grinned sardonically. "Hell, I don't even want to have girl talks. They're kind of gross and I feel like I need to hug Temari or something girly when we're finished."

Gaara watched as she fiddled and fumbled over her words, taking note of her red face. It was always odd to see Xin act so...feminine. He grunted when she looked at him and reached out, drawing his arms around her waist to bring her closer. She let out a squawk and nearly clawed at his chest but stopped once she realized what he was doing. "I'm not going to say something stupid like 'teach me how to love'," He said once she settled against him. Her arms slid lazily around his neck, nails idly scratching at his skin. She smiled very slowly, a languid pull of her plump lips.

"Love isn't something you teach, stupid," Xin snorted. "It's something you just feel."

"Baki said something similar once, when I was younger."

"Baki is a wise man."

"Until he disagrees with you."

"Which he rarely does."

The smell of flowers, stale blood and moonlight (how she could smell of moonlight baffled him but that's the only way to describe it) assaulted his nose but he leaned in closer. She always had that lingering smell of death clinging to her skin but there's always traces of that flower, of moonbeams, trapped underneath her skin. And he likes it, blood and moon and all.

Gaara didn't really know what else to other than kiss her. It was probably cruel to do so, she did just admit that she was in love with him and he hadn't said it back to her. He nearly said the opposite. At this point, he was taking advantage of her feelings, leading her down a road of possibilities but not confirming anything.

But Xin didn't seem to mind when she leaned up on the tips of her toes to lay kisses on and around his mouth. He couldn't resist her, not even if she had her hands dipped in the blood of his village. Not even if she had those fingers wrapped around his throat.

Speaking of those fingers, her nails dug into his skin while her lips dusted teasingly over his. "I love you," She breathed softly, painting the words into his skin, tattooing them into his veins. Carving those three simple words into the deepest parts of his mind, scarring into his heart.

He didn't say it back, she knew he wouldn't. For a moment, the little spark in her eyes dimmed but she smiled anyway. Continued to pepper his faces with heavy kisses despite the lack of reply to her declaration. It was truly ironic how things had turned out. He, like Xin, had been convinced she would be forever miserable in their union. Even if they somehow managed to find common ground (which he supposed they did) she would always be miserable knowing she'd been forced into something for the sake of his image and not for peace or love. He never expected Xin to actually admit being in love with him, let alone accepting such a thing.

But he pushed those thoughts to the side because she smelled of moonbeams, flowers and blood and her skin was devilishly supple and her lips were sinfully soft. And she was his. His, his, his.

The towel slipped, dropping to nearly her hips but she didn't bother to fix it and neither did he. She did, however, pull away to look down at her state of undress. Again, she smiled and fixed her arms around his neck once more. It was up to him where they would go from here. A slight squeal escaped her mouth in the second that it took her to realize that she was now pressed against the bedroom door. The towel was torn away from her hips, her last line of modesty completely gone but if she cared, she didn't say so. In fact, her arms around his neck tightened and she teetered on the tips of her toes to kiss him.

"Take...take it off," Xin mumbled through the kisses, one hand dropping to the hemline of his shirt. She yanked at it, only getting it halfway up his stomach before he briefly let her go to swipe the damn thing off entirely. Xin hummed in approval, nails scraping down his chest. Xin shifted her hips first, grinding them against his with a shudder. The material of his pants chafed against her and even though it was kind of nice, she also wanted his pants off. Off, off, off.

Like his shirt, she pushed at his pants. "Gaara," Xin hissed when she realized his pants were still clinging to his hips. She could see the beginning of his pelvic bone and she swore to God her mouth watered. Xin had never bothered with the thought of her first time. It wasn't something that was important to her. Lena had insisted it would be painful as fuck. Ino claimed it would be the best thing ever, the pain would be worth it. Tsunade had mumbled that it was fun but the men weren't always worth it.

It hurt like fuck. God, it hurt. Admittedly, she probably would have been more comfortable if she'd been in the bed when he decided to just penetrate her. But, when did they ever do things right? No, she lost her virginity pressed against a door with her legs wrapped tightly around him.

Her head reeled back and she blinked hard, a startled gasp breaking past her lips. "It hurts," She admitted, slightly irritated that she just couldn't take the pain. She was supposed to be much stronger than that. Of all things that could take her down, it was having sex with her husband. Ironic.

Gaara stilled against her, muscles straining from the mind-numbing pleasure she was causing him. Despite his obvious pleasure, he could see from Xin's scrunched up face that she felt different. "Should.." He leaned forward, pressing his face into neck. "Should I stop?" He shifted only slightly but it was enough to send her into pain, feeling as if a fire was eating at her core.

Yes, he should stop. Jesus fucking Christ, he needed to stop. How any girl could like this sort of thing was beyond her. When the fuck was it supposed to feel good?

"Noo," She managed to wheeze out. Shit, she was a glutton. "It's supposed to hurt but...can we...um…use the bed?" Xin could just feel her face getting hot. So he settled his hands under her firmly and carried her to the bed like she weighed nothing more than a piece of paper. The fire eating at her was scorching now but by the time she was settled in the cool sheets (god that felt nice against her heated flesh) it had dulled down into a throb.

She sighed when he settled over her once more, caging her under him. "Much better," She sighed in content, despite the dull throb. His fingers tangled in her mess of hair as he tried to wait patiently for her to get comfortable enough. Xin's fingers flexed and pressed against his shoulders as she experimented with moving her hips. Despite the twinge of pain, a coil of pleasure tightened in the pit of stomach and she suddenly moaned into his ear.

He gripped at the sheets as she experimented with her hips, slightly pulling at the strands of hair tangled around his fingers. Her own fingers danced across the expanse of his shoulders, nails slightly digging into his flesh when she twisted just right. The pain didn't go away, it was still there, although considerably less apparent. That was good enough, she supposed. She just had to deal with it. Like dealing with an enemy while a Kunai is hilt-deep in her side. She could do that.

Gaara shifted, sliding deeper into her, stretching her to her very limit. Her eyebrows puckered together and she let out an odd mix of a moan and a whimper. He started at a slow pace, giving her ample time to get used to the very thick intruding member. Her breathing became a little more rapid at the pace, turning from pained whines into pleasures sighs. It was nice, it sent waves of pleasure through his own body, causing his moans and grunts to mingle in with hers. But it wasn't….enough.

Maybe she knew or maybe she felt the same way because Xin brought her legs up, securing them tightly around his waist. "Faster," She managed between strained breaths.

And that's all she had to say.

The bed creaked under them, the headboard lightly tapped at the wall but if either of them realized it, they completely ignored it. Xin's eyes slid shut and she bucked her hips against his, trying to master the pace he was keeping. He gripped tightly at her thighs with enough force to leave lingering bruises. "Oh," Xin blinked owlishly, feeling something coil in the lower area of her stomach. "Oh, oh…" the feeling twisted tighter before springing apart, coupled with a shrilled shriek and deep groan.

And then it was over.

Xin blinked owlishly again, sweaty and hot. "Gaara," She shifted under him. "You're suffocating me, get off," She spoke into his chest. Gaara did so slowly, grunting and grumbling while settling next to her. It was quiet between them before a giggle broke past Xin's lips. "I think we might have done that wrong," She said between giggles, face flustered.

"How so?" Gaara asked sleepily. Xin nearly rolled her eyes. Typical male behavior. She reached over and punched his arm, smirking when he glared at her.

"I think more foreplay is supposed to be involved and you weren't very gentle, seeing as how it was my first time. And we were arguing beforehand so it wasn't very romantic."

Gaara eyed her blankly. "I didn't satisfy you?"

Xin only huffed. "Don't make sex sound like a business deal or something. And that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying it wasn't what I expected."

"Do you regret it?"

"Of course not. I live with no regrets."

Gaara nodded thoughtfully and threw his arm over her. He pulled her body over his, chuckling when she flailed and squeaked. His hold on her tightened and he buried his face into her chest. Xin's legs hung over him and she idly wriggled her toes while he got comfortable. "Then we have done nothing wrong. Perhaps we rushed into it but if you enjoyed it then that's all that matters," Gaara told her, basking in her soft breasts and warmth. Xin mulled over his words and nodded slowly.

"Does that mean we'll have sex again?" She asked with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Gaara cracked one eye open to look at her with the same glint.

"That's a stupid question."

The woman mockingly rolled her eyes. "Whatever, now let me go. I'm naked and cold and if either of your siblings open the door, they're gonna see something they have no business seeing."

Gaara let her go with a laugh.

"Xin, what the hell is wrong with you? You've been walking funny all day."

"Shut the fuck up, Kankuro."

TeeBeMe:...well. It's been awhile. Sorry for taking so long but I kept hitting a block every time I came to this chapter. It got so bad that I started working on chapter 22 while this one was left unfinished. And then I got fucked up by that chapter and started to write 23 while 21 and 22 just sat idle. Luckily, 22 is pretty much finished, it just needs to be edited so it'll most likely be up before 2016 ends. Yay.

Anyway, I know you guys are probably like, whys the lemon so short, Tee? The fuck. Well, see, here's what I figured. Xin and Gaara are both starved of love, affection and sex so when it actually comes down to their first time, they kind of just rush right into it because they don't know what else to do. And besides, Xin isn't going to be all into it if it's her first time, it hurts like fuck. But no worries, practice does make perfection.

I wrote this chapter with the song 'Wreak Havoc' by Skylar Grey in mind. It was written for Suicide Squad, specifically Harley Quinn, who to me, kind of resembles Xin. Not the whole abusive relationship she has with the Joker, that sucks and it kind of irks me that so many people romanticize it, but just her personality. Well, this Harley is a lot like Xin.

And another thing, have any of you ever imagined what Xin's voice sounds like? Like, when you read from her point of view or whatever she's saying, what does she sound like to you? Personally, I've always liked the English voice actress for Sango from InuYasha. I also liked the English voice actress for Lum Invader in the second Urusei Yatsura but that voice might too soft. My friend suggested Revy from Black Lagoon.

As for her Japanese voice, I think Lei-Fang from the Dead or Alive video game series fits. Asuka Kazaama from Tekken fits her, I think. I dunno, this is the type of shit I think about at one in the morning.

anyway, as always, thanks for sticking with me. Read, review, favor, follow, all that good stuff and I'll see you next chapter.