Critical Screening
Chapter 21
"I need this job, Richard. I need it more than the others." She pleaded. "Addison..." He tested back at her solemnly. "No, I need a reason to stay here. I need a reason to get up every morning. I need to get up and not care if it's raining or that I'm 39 and alone." Addison cried back sitting in front of her Richard's desk on Grey's Anatomy. "That's why. If you need a job to get a new life you either need a new job or a new life."
There are over 3 billion people in the world and I could say that at least half wake up every morning and wish things were different. Wonder if they changed something at some point if their lives would be playing out in a different way. They may want, wish or dream that they had a new life. They might even need one.
You can have a wonderful family, decent job and a busy social life yet life in general just doesn't stack up. You feel the need to have someone around you that you haven't known for over ten years, go to a place where everyone might not know your name, put yourself out in a place where people can know the real you, not the persona put down year to year.
That's what college meant to many people including Charlie Radin. Although her new persona was only a year old it was wearing thin. The things she wanted weren't playing out, the people she loved weren't around and her dreams were no where in sight.
Life was ever changing yet most days it is easy to feel as if you're standing still. As if time has stopped completely and the world somehow just stopped spinning. Like your world is at a standpoint and no matter what you say or do, it will always be that way.
You could have the biggest dreams in the world and never bring them out. You could be the smartest person in your grade but not succeed. Anyone could be anyone they wanted to be, but they also choose who they are.
You can't blame anyone else for your mistakes or tell someone they were wrong. But its strange how the things we did, somehow turn into someone else's problems. Because life isn't how we wanted it to be, it's someone's fault besides out own. The feeling of longing and lacking is no ones fault, you just have to be able to strive to get it.
Scrathmore Academy was bustling for a early Monday morning. The students were walking and whispering, texting and calling. The student parking lot was beginning to fill as the minutes passed by nearing the first bell of the morning. Charlie Radin's long strut crossed across the parking lot and towards the school.
Her long blonde hair swayed back and forth behind her neck naturally as she hugged her bag tightly to her body. She gripped her cell phone in the other hand with her nails grinding into the skin of the metal. She pushed past a younger boy who was holding the door open for apparently no one and wondered down the long hallways.
Her face was and stern and to most seemed somewhat hallow. Charlie reached down to her locker in virtually the middle of the school. She spun the combination into the circle as people passed by around her, a soft chilled breeze rushing down her back.
"Shane!." Someone hissed around her. "Did you hear about Charlie Radin?" Their voices muffled as they rushed down the hall leaving Charlie with her own uneasy feeling. "Kristy, you left the party way too early!" Another high pitched voice mentioned. Charlie didn't dare turn around as the two senior girls were standing right behind her.
"Do you remember Ian Rowland?" There was a slight pause and the first girl continued. "Well he and Kale, Charlie Radin's boyfriend got into a huge fist fight. The were both high!" Charlie gulped hard in her throat. "Ian and…" Kristy questioned. "No! Kale and Charlie!" Kristy gasped with excited as the sound of a Sidekick being whipped around sounded as they continued down the hallway.
Before turning around Charlie stood in front of her now closed locker for a moment listening for anymore voices consisting of the same words, she heard nothing and strutted down the hall with out looking at any soul, whether they were looking at her or not.
She heard two familiar voices talking quietly behind her, yet somehow in Charlie's daze of confusments on this morning couldn't put a face to a voice and once again couldn't bring herself to turning around. "Have you talked to Charlie?" A girl questioned with a worried voice. "No why?" A male's voice grunted under his breath.
"I mean she just left out onto the street the other night, she was pretty messed up." The boy grunted again as there voices seemed to be clear from Charlie's distance from them. She reached her arm back and scratched the sweat from the brow of her neck. "Nick she is one of your closet friends!" The girl cried out, revealing herself as Kate, Nicholas Cameroon's girlfriend.
Charlie's face was grim and scrunched up with hurt as she flipped her head around stopping dead in tracks not sure if her long locks had hit either of them as she turned. "Charlie, Hi." Kate said sweetly letting go of Nick's hand. "Hey." Charlie said crossing her arms. "So I'm assuming you made it home alright then?" Nicholas said quietly unable to hear his sarcasm or sincerity.
Charlie, without looking pinched her skin lightly but still looked at the couple. "Yeah. Guess so." Her anger was soon cut off by a familiar face. Her thoughts seemed to leave her body as Kale Manning entered at the end of the hallway and almost seemed to look at her, because soon after Charlie felt as if their eyes had met his legs sped up and passed by the hallway directly, without having to past the friends at all.
Both Nicholas and Kate looked behind them but Kale was already gone. "Nick can I talk to you a minute?" Charlie asked quietly, giving a hint of weakness she hardly showed to other people. Kate smiled kindly, kissed his cheek and walked off towards the other end of the school. Charlie tugged Nicholas into a nook of the hallway and crossed her arms taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Nick. I really am." Nicholas nodded. "I shouldn't have been doing that shit at your house, making you responsible." "You shouldn't have been doing that shit at all Charlie." She grunted.
There was a slight pause as Nicholas continued before Charlie could spit out another word. "Where'd you get it?" She shook her and looked in the opposite direction as she licked her lips. "Did you tell him Nicholas?" He looked at her dumbfounded. "Did you tell Kale what Ian Rowland told you?" She grunted as she finally looked at him and Nick Cameroon shook his head.
"No Charlie. Why?" The bell rang and with a spring in her step she began to walk away. "Charlie!?" Nicholas called still standing in the same spot. Charlie didn't stop walking as she walked into homeroom. Her eyes fidgeted frantically from Amanda to Kale. Unlike her beliefs, for now it seemed as if Kale Manning was telling her the truth. Something she always denied from him.
She panicked for a moment but somehow found her way to her perspective seat. She slumped far down in her seat as she could feel people stare at her slightly. Charlie Radin brushed her hair back into a high messy pony tail.
"Hey Charlie!" A beckoning, obnoxious call cried through the room. "I heard you kept the party going long after. Too bad me and your brother here left a little early to do something better." She chuckled as Charlie resisted turning around. "Leave her alone Amanda." Kale said angrily although his voice consisted of no expression.
"Don't be so hasty there Kale, I heard you snuffed it right along with her." Emma Watson turned around sideways looking at the bustle happening in the back of room, as Mr. Connor walked in hold his clip board in hand.
Emma grimaced at Charlie quietly, and somehow her self conscious and ditzy behavior seemed to fly away. "Jesus Manning, what'd you do to yourself?" Kale looked at Mr. Connor strangely and felt his right high which looked better then the other night but not remotely gone, he cringed as he touched his black eye and huffed.
"Got into a fight." "You Manning?" The teacher said reasonably surprised. Charlie looked back at Kale slightly just enough so he could she was looking. "I wasn't myself I guess." He said quietly before he flinched in his desk and looked down at the table he said in front of.
"Anyways…" Amanda Hilfiger choked. "Everyone's talking about it Kale, but still I'm not clear about who won." Kale Manning rolled his eyes without even bothering to move from his emotional physical state. "Then maybe you can answer that Charlie… I mean did you and Kale go home and celebrate, because in that case maybe you're the one who gave him the black eye."
Charlie whirled around her chair and looked at Amanda. She looked typically frightened as she pushed her short brown hair behind her hears and looked at Charlie Radin as if she was going to kill her. "Can I talk to you?" Charlie demanded more then asked. "to me?" Amanda chuckled. "No to the dump post behind you." Radin sniffed and looked at his cell phone. Amanda smiled as she went to open her mouth but Charlie quickly cut her off. "Alone." Amanda swallowed hard, both for her self and to save face.
Sometimes when you need to change your life, you adjust to these changed different. Maybe you become a different person, adapt a new personality. Develop a new taste in the opposite sex or in some cases the same. You might become more emotionally or have a tough exterior.
And sometimes part of the changes to your life is loosing a friend. Well for Amanda Hilfiger she broke away from Charlie Radin, with a clean cut swipe. She kissed her old well mannered happy person behind her and evolved into a bitter, angry bitchy spawn of satin. She thought it was so easy to just leave behind her best friend and everything else that ever happened.
In the last year, when nothing was said except the constant hatred between her and Charlie, Amanda assumed she broke free with no feelings or streaks of blood behind her. She was obviously too quick to judge as Charlie was coming up and rushing behind her, taking control of her life. Because suddenly and swiftly Charlie was realizing she didnt need a new life, she needed the one she wanted, which was the life she always had, before she lost herself.