[10x23]

Jo drove her car up behind Alex's and put it in park. Weird. Upon getting out, she looked up at the house but it was dark. Where the hell was he? She walked up the front stairs in a pretty slow pace, exhausted from the day. She was actually as far as to not be able to make out what she was feeling anymore. She unlocked the door and entered, putting all her stuff inside the door and looked around the dark hallway. She took a few steps, immediately getting annoyed with someone having left everything lying around in the living room. She wasn't all obsessed with cleaning or something…. if she had to estimate herself on a scale she'd rather tend towards being a slob, but she hated it every time Yang or friends would stay over and don't clean up after themselves, so it got harder for her to even want to hang out in the living room, having to clean it up beforehand. She sighed, looking at a bowl of popcorn, beer, blankets. Not even the TV was fully switched off. Jo walked into the kitchen and got herself some water before walking back. When she climbed the first few steps of the stairway, she stopped and looked around to observe the scene again. Those two bottles of beer standing on the coffee table were closed. That bowl of popcorn was full. That blanket hadn't been touched. Weird. She walked further up towards their room, entering unceremoniously, instantly startling for not having anticipated Alex lying on the bed.

"Crap," she yelled out, her hand springing up to her chest in shock. "What are you doing?" Alex looked at her questioningly, shaking her head.

"What do you mean? It's my room," he pointed out, his voice definitely sounding irritated. Jo took a deep breath and put her stuff away, chuckling softly.

"No, you just scared me," she explained herself. "The entire house was dark."

"Where did you think I was?" he asked her, frowning.

"Well," Jo didn't exactly know how to say this without sounding too bitchy. "I'd have thought you'd be-," she stopped herself when she looked up at him, while still hovering somewhere in between the door and the bed. Jo's eyes went wide with realization. "Oh my goodness, Alex," she exclaimed, stepping closer towards him. "Were you asking me to have a beer together here? At home? In your text I mean," Jo asked him, feeling stupid.

"Um, yeah," Alex replied soberly, looking down at whatever he was reading.

"I was waiting at Joe's," she held her gaze steady, giving him a small sheepish smile and watched as his head snapped up again to look at her before he realized what had happened, too. He let out a small voiceless and humorless laugh. "Sorry," he mumbled. Jo laughed.

"Yeah, me too," she said, sitting herself on the edge of his side of the bed. "Were you trying to cold shoulder me in not even calling and asking where I was?" she winked at him.

"Um… no. Were you?" he asked her back.

"No, I had company," she reported to him, making him nod. There was a short pause.

"Good thing I wasn't there, then," Alex decided, making her smile and shake her head.

"I wanted you there," Jo gave him back.

"Well, and I wanted you here, let's get over it," Alex told her dismissively, going back to his reading. Jo nodded slowly, feeling a bit disappointed of that night.

"What are you working on?" she asked him tentatively.

"Some of Robbins' patients' histories," he just said, making her nod again, soberly, awaiting elaboration that never came. She got up after a while and walked towards the bathroom, sighing.

"You wouldn't believe the day I've had," she mumbled more to herself than to Alex, heating the water for her shower.

"Yeah, same here," he gave her back though, making her look back in surprise. "What are you doing?" he watched her through narrowed eyes.

"Taking a shower," she told him in a bored voice.

"Didn't you tell me you had already taken a shower after work?"

"Yeah," Jo sighed. "But I feel so gross," she admitted.

"Why?" Alex asked her, not understanding. Jo took off her shirt and turned around for him to see. "Whoa, what happened?" his eyes widened at her back. Jo sighed in frustration and turned back to face him unwillingly.

"Stress hives," she said. "They appeared over night, apparently your speech about believing in me and crap didn't work," she added, a small blush rising in her cheeks.

"Are you actually embarrassed by that?" Alex tried to find out.

"Well, yeah, look at them. They're gross. And itchy. And irritating. And all for nothing," she whispered that last part to herself, closing the door and taking another shower, trying for the hives to soothe under the soft sprinkling of the water. She dabbed herself dry, put on her silk robe, and got bed-ready. When she walked out into the bedroom, Alex looked up and watched her.

"So?" he looked at her expectantly, while she kept on fidgeting with the covers and put on her pajamas.

"What?" she snapped back.

"Did you have reason to be worried? Did you find out?" Alex inquired. Jo sighed, keeping her head down, slipping into her cotton pants that barely covered her goods.

"We had reason to be worried, yes," she told him slowly, climbing into the bed. "One of us got fired tonight," she added and looked up in surprise when one of Alex's arms had shot out to her and pulled her closer, making her look him in the eye. "It wasn't me," she shook her head in defeat. She didn't know what to feel anymore. They had all been so sure that they were the person to walk the very thin line, they had all developed ridiculous coping mechanisms, she had been so deep into all that crap, now that she knew her spot was safe, she didn't even know what to think. Or do, or say. Especially because she hadn't once thought about the fact that the lay-off of one of her friends would simultaneously save herself. Not once. And now relief mingled with regret and hurt and disbelief.

"I know it wasn't you," Alex told her, shifting a bit too.

"Doesn't make the situation any better," Jo grunted at him. Alex shrugged and wiggled his torso.

"For you, it does. But no, in general it doesn't, you're right," he agreed. "Come here," he pulled her closer, taking her into a hug. Jo eventually let herself fall into him and closed her eyes when she settled in the crook of his neck, trying to breathe rhythmically, to calm down. It was over. No more worrying, no more anything. They could all go back to being their usual selves. She could feel how Alex kissed her temple and forehead.

"Leah," she said after a while, making him nod. "Did you know?" she looked up at him in surprise at his reaction. Alex closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No," he admitted. "But I made an educated guess. You and Steph were always safe. You guys are good. I told you. Warren knows what he's doing. And they love him. I hate to say this, but he has scored brownie points with being besties with Webber and almost anyone else, having been an attending before AND being married to Bailey. If it had been him, he'd have known beforehand. So, it was a gamble between Murphy and Ross. I couldn't be sure because you know… what Ross did," he pointed out quietly, making her nod. "But as you said, they were firing someone because of their skills, not anything else. And Ross is good, so chances were… well, the odds weren't in her favor," he explained himself, making her sigh.

"Why didn't you tell me that before?" she looked at him questioningly.

"Because you were drunk. And annoying. And telling me all kinds of reasons why my opinion isn't really valid on this, leading with the fact that you think I'm a man whore. And I did partially, but you didn't listen, and then you believed I was biased. And lastly, if I had voiced this just like I did a minute ago, would you really have wanted to hear that?" Alex stared her down, almost looking amused. Jo closed her eyes and laughed softly.

"You're probably right," she agreed.

"Usually, yeah," he told her, giving her a smirk.

"Sorry for being such a bitch about it," she repeated from the night before.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine," he told her again, trying to go back to his reading.

"So," she slowly advanced. "Are these….stolen as well?" she looked at him knowingly, pointing at the sheets. Alex looked up in shock but then blushed wildly when Jo started laughing. "Oh my, you are actually embarrassed about this?" she asked. "That makes you a good person, let me tell you," she whispered at him in amusement.

"These are not stolen," Alex replied feebly. Jo chuckled. "How did you know?"

"Shane told me," she smiled at him, making him roll his eyes in irritation. "He also told me how you bribed him into doing it," Jo followed up a little sharper now. Alex was looking down. "You know, it's one thing to do stupid stuff in between attendings but that wasn't a nice thing to do. You put Shane in a horrible position today. And I'm only saying that because I'm scared you're willing to do that to me, too, one day," she tried to make him see. Alex just sighed. "What happened anyway? Why did you come to the hospital to steal a patient and be an asshole towards pretty much anyone involved?" There was a short silence in which Alex tried to shape his words.

"I'm a bit… I…," he took a deep breath, steadying. "I already fell behind at the practice. I didn't realize from the very beginning that there is a big difference between the job in the hospital and at the practice," he articulated.

"Which is?"

"At the practice I have to bring patients in… to make money. At the hospital they just… well, they come in on their own. So, I was… swimming for a bit…and then drowning. It was horrible and humiliating and I just thought… I just…I didn't wanna fail during my first month there!" Alex gave her wide eyes and talked frantically. "I didn't wanna admit to myself that maybe I went into all this way over my head. I just thought…there are so many freaking cases at the hospital, Arizona could share at least one with me," he explained sheepishly. Jo looked at him with a pained face.

"Why didn't you just talk to her?" she asked him in disbelief.

"I don't know. I was embarrassed," he justified himself.

"Why didn't you talk to me?" Jo asked a little quieter.

"You had other things on your mind. And everything happened so fast…," he tried. Jo nodded.

"And you were embarrassed? With me?" Jo gazed into Alex's eyes until he nodded. "You're an idiot," she told him, pulling him closer now and hugging him. When they broke, she took the papers Alex was working on and tossed them over on his nightstand, moving downwards to get to a lying position, Alex imitating her. They switched off the lights and lay in a comfortable embrace, Jo on her back while Alex was embracing her from the side, one leg underneath hers, one on top and his nose nuzzling her neck.

"Let's just get over this freaking day, huh?" he mumbled against her skin, making her nod. He ran his thumb across a hive on her neck, making her wince lightly. "Sorry," he whispered. "But it's better already, they'll be gone in no time," he promised her, making her nod. They both had almost fallen asleep, when Jo rustled again.

"Alex?"

"Hm?"

"I know that we haven't been seeing each other for a long, long time and we don't… I mean, I know there's lots of people that have known you a lot longer than I have," she breathed.

"What's your point?"

"I need you to start trusting me," she said, straightforwardly.

"I do trust you," he opened his eyes, looking at her. Jo turned her face to match their eyes and then smiled.

"No, there's a difference. You trusting me is still an active decision you make with everything there is that needs for you to trust me with something. You don't fully trust me," she exposed him.

"So, you want me to blindly trust you?" he smiled at her.

"I don't want you to be naïve, I just… I want you to know that you can trust me. I can take it. And I'll surely be here for you, okay? Even though sometimes I might be drunk and lash out and break out in hives and be a bundle of nerves… unless I'm like that I think I'm a pretty stable person to lean on," she smiled back.

"I'm trying," he said quietly.

"I know," Jo said, shifting a tiny bit closer towards him, running her fingers through his hair before kissing him. When they parted, their eyes burned into each other. "Do you think it'll always be this crazy as long as we keep seeing each other?" she asked him with a light chuckle. Alex joined in.

"Yeah, we did have a pretty crazy year already, huh?" he gave her back, both nodding. "Well, but then again, I can't say that I missed out on all the good crazy," he smirked, squeezing her tighter into his embrace, making her smile against him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well… we do have crazy amounts of amazing sex," he said, making her smile brightly. "And… crazy as both of us are we signed a freaking love contract," he adopted a somewhat sarcastic tone in his voice. "And I'm crazy in love with you," he added after a while, softly. Jo smiled with her eyes closed.

"I wish you'd never stop saying that," she purred against his lips that she had searched for again. They immediately deepened the sentiment, and Alex only broke it once all through the night, and that was to make one thing clear.

"I'm not planning to stop. Ever."

Note: For all those who haven't read it, I published my take on post 10x24 as a separate story, called Fear (of the Unknown). Which basically is chapter 22 of this story, but again, I can't post something twice.