Disclaimer- I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Yeah, I wanted to switch Long-Distance Call with this. Just a break, you know?

Chapter name borrowed from Linkin Park.

On with it, shall we?

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE- SHADOW OF THE DAY

We were hunting a kelpie.

At least, according to Cas.

An involuntary flush crept into my cheeks as I caught his gaze.

I lowered my head at once.

I didn't understand.

No, that wasn't the word.

Maybe I did understand, but just didn't want to admit it.

I'd been given warning enough.

I screwed my eyes shut as the image of Dream Cas forced it's way into my mind, cold and uncaring.

Much like Cas was in those first few months after I'd met him.

And then the place in the woods... with Jared and Mom and Sam...

Why had Cas been there too?

Unbidden, the memory of me landing on top of Cas after Jeremy had pushed me off the building slipped into my mind.

My face turned redder, and I vaulted off the chair, escaping into the bathroom.

My clothes were gritty and streaked with dirt from searching for the kelpie, and I decided to shower.

I closed my eyes as the hot water ran down my back, refusing to acknowledge what it all meant.

But I went ahead and did it anyway.

I hadn't felt this way since...since Jared.

The name instantly caused a spike of pain through my chest, and I stuffed my fist in my mouth to keep from crying out.

This was wrong.

Hadn't I learnt by now that the people close to me always ended up getting hurt?

Perhaps the term was too mild.

The people close to me ended up dead.

Dean would never let me hear the end of it if he knew what I was thinking.

Dean.

My thoughts took a new turn as I dressed in shorts and a tee.

Time was running out.

He had maybe a month before his deal was due.

And we'd found nothing, even with Cas' help, that could get him out of it.

Absolute, unadulterated fear swamped through me as I registered what it meant.

What was I going to do without my big brother?

Snarky, philandering, annoying Dean who'd somehow always come through for me, saved my life over and over until I'd lost count.

Dean, who woudn't be my big brother for much longer if we didn't save him.

If we couldn't save him.

And what would happen to Sam?

A different sort of worry washed over me as I thought about my second big brother.

I'd seen him at the Mystery Spot, I knew what was going to happen to him.

I couldn't let him go that way.

But who was going to take care of me?

I curled into a ball on my bed, and then I couldn't stop the tears any longer.

I'd finally found a family, less than perfect though it was, and now I was about to lose it again.

Just like always.

"Odette?"

I cursed silently as Cas looked at me searchingly, hurriedly swiping away my tears.

Cas wasn't fooled as he walked around to sit next to me.

"What's troubling you?"

I let out a bitter half-laugh, half-sob.

"What's troubling me?" I repeated.

"Everything, Cas. Everything."

And then I really started crying, pressing my head against his knee and shaking.

Cas hesitated for a long minute, then gently placed a hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What are we gonna do, Cas? What are we gonna do?"

I shook harder, pausing only when Cas slipped a finger under my chin, pulling my head up.

At the time, I didn't understand why his eyes tightened, why he seemed so cold and remote.

Later, I would.

"I don't know, Odette."

~Supernatural~

"We've cornered the kelpie," Dean threw himself on the bed, seeming near the edge of sleep.

"Should be able to gank it tomorrow."

I sat next to him, burying my face in his shoulder.

Dean, for once, didn't push me off, only rolling to his side.

"What's gotten into you, Bambi?" He mumbled sleepily.

I pressed my lips together as I wrapped an arm around his back, listening to his muffled snores.

The tears soaked his shirt.