Zola. Dr. Arnim Zola. The Nazi-Hydra freak who'd chained him to a table and stuck needles full of fire into him. Who'd used Bucky like a lab rat and hadn't even cared who he was. That he was human. Who'd done God knew what, because while the SSR doctors couldn't figure out what was done, they'd all agreed that it'd been something.

In three days, the commandos were going off to capture Zola and bring him in.

Bucky doesn't know how he feels about the whole thing. He doesn't know how he's expected to feel, or if he's supposed to feel anything. Soldiers like him are just bodies can ground. Just part of the machine, and cogs aren't supposed to feel.

Only he's not a cog. He's not even part of the machine. Oh, sure, he wants the Allies to win the war. He wants the Nazi's crushed, along with their sick ideas. He wants Hydra destroyed and the Red Skull sent down where he belongs.

But none of that is why he's fighting.

The weird thing is, though, it's not just for Steve anymore. She's a big part of it, yes, but the rest of the guys…. It's been a long time since Bucky's had a family, a real family. The orphanage didn't count. A few authority figures and a bunch of lost boys didn't a family make, after all.

Steve's team, though, was. Bucky still might not be sure about Falsworth or Mortia (who grows more and more tight lipped any time Bucky tries to suss out what the other man knows. Bucky knows he's going to get punched in the face any day now, but he can't stop poking.) Dugan is the loud, embarrassing, but very cool older brother Bucky's never had. Gabe is laid back, easygoing, and knows more about women and the world than anyone Bucky's ever known. Jacques is a genius when it comes to munitions and knows the right song for any occasion (Bucky will never forget the day they were tracking some Hydra goons in the forest and caught them with their pants around their ankles, watering the grass. Jacques had burst into song as they rounded the goons up. When Bucky had asked what the song was, Jacques declared it to be the traditional pissing song of his village. Bucky still has no idea if that's true, but Gabe and Dugan have taken to singing it whenever they take a piss.)

Bucky guesses that if he is a cog, it's a Commando cog. And the Commandos care about how he feels. He's their sniper, their eyes in the sky. He needs to have his head on straight for this.

But it's also, well, they were there. They saw him get beaten by the Hydra guards, and then they saw him get sick in the cells. They rallied around him where, before, they'd been at each other's throats. They'd cared about his well-being then and they'll care now.

But Bucky doesn't even know how he feels. He wants to do the job. He wants to be there when Zola gets taken, and he wants Zola to get the punishment he deserves.

He's just kind of afraid Zola won't get that punishment. After all, he holds a lot of information. And he's a scientist. The USA and the SSR seem pretty keen on recruiting scientists to their cause.

Bucky might be capturing his tormentor only to deliver him to a better life. That was the opposite of justice and the idea of it makes Bucky see red.

But, his is not to reason why.

He shakes his head, trying to clear the thoughts that have been circulating for hours and lights a cigarette.

Steve's been in a meeting with Colonel Phillips and the other muckety-mucks for almost three hours now. She'll probably be there all night, if past missions are any indication. It's a lot of paperwork and talking, but never all that productive. Steve and the rest of the Commandos always toss out whatever plan the officers make and come up with their own when they get out in the field. Considering their success rate, Bucky doesn't know what they bother, but he guess they want to feel useful. Suckers.

"Sergeant Barnes? What are you doing out here?"

Bucky jumps to his feet and salutes Agent Carter, who has just left the building Bucky is skulking outside of.

"Nothing, ma'am. Thinking."

"At ease," she says, amusement obvious. "If you're waiting for Steve, he'll probably be awhile yet."

"I figured. I mean, he'll probably be in there all night, knowing him. But, well. I thought I'd wait."

"All night in the freezing cold?"

"It's not so bad."

She rolls her eyes. "You're as bad as he is aren't you? I understand loyalty, but sitting out here freezing your arse is just plain stupidity."

Bucky gives her a lopsided smile. "You calling Steve stupid?"

"I'm calling him loyal to a fault." She sighs. "Although, I may have goaded him a bit."

"Yeah?" he prompts, raising an eyebrow.

Agent Carter averts her eyes and shrugs one shoulder. "I was angry. No, furious, at what Senator Brant had done to Steve. Taken all his passion and righteousness and turned him into a performing monkey. Steve's words…well, drawing, not mine. And Colonel Phillips, too. Just threw Steve away because Steve wasn't the one he wanted. Because Phillips couldn't understand the difference between a loudmouth boy with muscles and a…. a skinny stick who happened to be a hero. Don't tell Steve I said that."

"What?" Bucky asks, bewildered. "That you think he's a hero?"

If she were anyone else, Agent Carter would be squirming. Instead, she squares her shoulders and says stiffly, "Well. It doesn't do to over-praise. I'm sure Steve hears it enough."

Bucky drops his cigarette and grinds it with the heel of his boot. Hard. "People are saying it enough. Don't know if Steve's hearing it. He's got bigger things on his mind." He grinds down one more time. "I actually figure he could stand hearing it a few times from the right people."

"The right people?"

He looks at her through his eyelashes. "The ones that know he was a hero before he got shot up full of super juice. The ones who know him."

Agent Carter stays still a moment before letting out a long breath. "You might be right." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "I wanted to goad him into some kind of action. I wanted him to get himself off that stage and to do something real. I thought he'd stand up to Phillips or somehow engage in a battle and show everyone what he could do. I never expected him to mount a one-man rescue operation into enemy territory."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think you're the only one who can understand the… the terror I felt when I realized what I'd provoked him in to." She meets his eyes, jaw clenched.

"You got him the plane."

She tilts her head in concession. "When he didn't contact us… when I was faced with the possibility that he'd died…"

The silence hangs between them, suspended on the frost.

"When we were eighteen," Bucky says haltingly, "Steve and I had a day off, so we went to the beach. It was warm, you know? Sun shining, ocean blue, sand warm under our feet. It was perfect. Anyway, we're in the water when I see this, I don't know, flash of color. I point it out and then, Steve's swimming like mad. Turns out, it was a little girl and she was drowning. Steve gets her, but she's struggling and he keeps going under, pushing her up. Me and some other guys finally get them both out, but Steve… Well, he was so sick after. Chest cold so bad I thought it was going to turn into pneumonia. And all I could think was if I had seen the girl first… if I had reacted just a second sooner…" He shrugs. "The thing is, Agent Carter, Steve needs very little goading. Once he found out it was my unit, he was always going to go."

She smiles softly. "He cares for you very much."

Something in Bucky's stomach twists. He looks away and shakes his head. "Naw. He just doesn't like seeing people get picked on. Day I enlisted, he got beat up over a dog."

She laughs. "While that doesn't surprise me, it doesn't do to diminish your part in his life. You're important to him. He mounted that rescue because of you. In a real way, Captain America, the real Captain America, not the dancing monkey, wouldn't exist without you."

He cheeks warm and he looks away.

Agent Carter steps closer to him and reaches out. She doesn't quite touch him, but it's enough to draw his eyes back to her. "A man who inspires that kind of loyalty must be something. I'm glad he has you for a friend."

"Ah… yeah, well," Bucky mumbles.

Her smile deepens. "Good night, Sergeant Barnes." She turns and walks away.

"Night." He watches her until she turns a corner out of sight, then lets out a huge breath and slumps against the wall. "Holy cow."

"Holy cow, what?"

Bucky jumps a foot in the air, hand going for the weapon at his side. He has it drawn before he realizes Steve's come out of the building.

She laughs. "Did I scare you?"

"No, not at all. Should put a bell on you." He holsters his weapon.

"That'll make our next raid interesting. Trying to sneak up on Hydra ringing like Christmas. What are you doing out here?"

"I was just having an interesting conversation with your girl."

Steve's eyebrows go up. "Peggy? What… I mean… what…."

"What does a classy dame like that and a bum like me have to talk about?" He slings his arm around Steve's neck and starts walking. "One guess. And the first two don't count."

"That doesn't make… You were talking about me?"

"Oh, someone has an ego. Not everything is about you. And, yes, we were."

"Anything good?"

"Do I ever say anything bad about you?"

She snorts. "It's not actually you I'm worried about."

"Don't worry, Steve, I praised you up the wazoo. If the girl wasn't already in love with you, a few minutes talking to me has got her convinced." He grins at the flush that darkens Steve's cheeks. "I think the rest of the guys are at the pub."

"I don't know…"

"No, I insist. We're off to catch a monster in a few days. Right now, let's unwind. Kick back. You know. Bond with the team."

Steve sighs and nods "Okay. All right, let's go."

Bucky pulls his arm off Steve and claps his hands. "Great! First round's on you!"

She laughs. "Sure, Buck. Whatever you say."