A/N: Thank you all for your continued support and your encouragement.

A Thousand Reasons

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia Axis Powers, but I do own my overly random plotline and any OCs I throw in.

Chapter 21: Around

Happiness is easily seen as an expression of joy, but there are many different types of happiness and sometimes it is easy to mistake contentedness for happiness. Lovina was well aware of the illusion and the difference between the two, but when she thinks of a time where she still hadn't known she feels like a fool. How young and foolish she was, as both a person and a country. She had trusted too easily, but that seemed to be the constant for all of them.

Love…that pesky emotion built for fools who seek something more out of life, yet in her children she found what it truly meant. It was not the same as the love she had held for Antonio, this was more, and it was consuming. It made her the most human of all the nations because she was the only one who could truly understand what this unconditional feeling of care for beings that were born of her and what it means to care for them and watch them grow as she would certainly do all her life.

Hope is another one of those misleading emotions. You can pray for something from God with all of your being, promise your entire existence that just for one thing you will do anything, and you can try with all that you have…still it won't always be enough. Hope is one of those emotions that can be as cruel as it is kind, but waiting for something is like eternity. In some ways hope is a death sentence waiting to be made known.

The sound of knocking disrupted Lovina's wandering and depressing thoughts.

"I'm coming, bastardo, just wait a moment," Lovina shouted.

She opened the door to reveal an overly excited American and a grumpy Brit. Alfred's lips quirked into a smile as he said, "You know, that isn't a very polite way to answer the door for guests, Lina."

She snorted. "If I wanted to be polite, I would be fucking perfect. Besides, who says I want guests?"

"Ouch," Alfred said as Arthur snickered. "Way to hit me in the heart and make me feel unwelcome."

"Whatever, bastard," she muttered as she moved aside and let them in. "Any luck in your research?"

Arthur shook his head. "We were hoping you might be able to clarify some things actually regarding your mark in hopes of narrowing down the areas we should be looking."

Lovina shrugged. "Honestly, I don't think I can help you. I've had the thing as long as I can remember but I lack the ability to view it unless I'm put under near fatal levels of stress. I don't know how I received it or where it came from."

Arthur sighed. "That is all right. I may have a lead. We just stopped in to see if you might know anything else. We're going to be heading to Norway to see if a friend I know there has any ideas."

She nodded her head in understanding.

"Oh, I had one other topic that I would like to discuss with you," Arthur started, realizing he once more almost left without asking about Antonia. "Does your family by any chance have gypsy blood?"

Lovina stared. "A bit, yes," she answered cautiously. "Part of my family history is Sicilian as well. Why?"

"Your daughter, Antonia, she has the gift of sight and possibly other abilities, but as young as she is and untrained it could be dangerous for her," Arthur commented, shifting slightly in discomfort. No parent would willingly separate from their child unless the danger was imminent. Antonia needed training before her abilities grew too big for her to handle or the strain would kill her before she could ever try to learn control.

Lovina tilted her head. She had always suspected and hoped that perhaps her little one might seek her out or tell her on her own. "You are asking permission to take her somewhere she might receive such training?"

"I would have to ask a few people who are more knowledgeable than I, but if I can get their okay then yes I would like permission to do so."

"I understand your worries, Arthur, do not worry, I am not going to deny the request. I only thought that I might have more time before she got to the point it may actually be a worry. Then again, she is rather fond of surpassing my expectations. Her and her brother both."

At that Arthur startled. "Do you mean to say that the boy might have abilities as well?"

"Mm, nothing like his sorella, no, she is rather gifted, plus as a male, the gypsy abilities are significantly more limited and I believe he takes after a different branch of our family. He may share twin telepathy with her and thus a far more limited version of sight, but other than that his talents lie elsewhere," Lovina casually stated.

"Why is it that you are not surprised?" Arthur asked.

"Why should I be?" she returned. "Am I not their mother? Should I not know my children even better than I know myself? Should I not give them all that I have, all my love and ability to care for them, as well as accept anything that may come with it? They are mine, my only family, and I cherish them deeply. Before they were born, when I made the decision, I swore I would love them, no matter what, such a thing as magic or special abilities and some such…those are not things that I cannot see for myself if I so choose. I wanted to wait until they were ready to speak to me of it of their own will, even if they never choose to tell me anything I will still love them. They are my heart."

This was the unconditional love of a true parent that nations could never understand and Lovina well knew that Alfred was one of the few to actually understand since he and Matthew had been raised by Native America for a time. This was the sort of love that did not judge or leave wanting. It was everything someone who wants true love looks for and wishes for with all their heart and hope to find. Not one word was untrue either. Lovina's children were very much her heart. They were all that was left of torn and broken bonds scattered through her life. Sure, those bonds were slowly mending now that people seemed to be remembering her, but they would never be the same. Just as a heart is never the same once it has been broken and those pieces are put back together. Some pieces are too small to be found and others are simply missing.

People tend to build walls around their hearts, but Lovina's defense was her personality and she preferred it that way. The only people worth getting to know were the ones who would actually try to get to know her as well. Maybe she was wrong, but out of everyone in her life that had come to mean something, the only one's she had ever managed to trust were those who saw her for who she was beneath everything else. In some ways she felt they knew her better than she knew herself, they could expose parts of her she refused to even acknowledge.

"I see," Arthur said, but even to her it was obvious he didn't. He didn't understand any of her life. He didn't know what this type of bond could be like, to love unconditionally regardless of actions or words, to worry over things there isn't any control over and hope things end for the best. These were things he would never know because he was a country. Maybe if he knew what being a parent truly meant he could, but this was beyond his comprehension and Lovina did not mind it remaining that way.

"Thank you Arthur."

Arthur stared at her. "For what?"

"For caring, of course. Antonia is not your responsibility, but I am glad you shared your worries with me," Lovina said with a smile. "I am also thanking you for what you are doing for me. No one has ever done something so grand as this on my behalf, and maybe you are only doing so for Alfred, but it still means very much."

Arthur's hand faltered a bit at the door way as he stared back. "You're welcome," he stuttered out as he and Alfred left, making his way down the street. Alfred smiled at Lovina before turning around and following Arthur.

Lovina smiled as she watched the two of them leave. They were finally getting back to where they belonged. They were finally breaking past their history and moving forward. Hopefully, towards the happiness she wished them to have. Maybe for them history wouldn't repeat.

The thing about life, it's a cycle. No matter how you look at it the patterns and habits all repeat. People find themselves saying you learn from history so it won't repeat yet somehow it always does. WWI was supposed to be the war to end all wars and yet war continued. It's a corrupt cycle of the worst of humanity and in some ways it really shows what the best is as well. Lovina knew that if her life is truly part of the cycle then all her reasons would eventually turn into emotions and it would all come around.