Hello everyone,
yay, second to last chapter for this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own either No.6 nor DGM though I wish I would sometimes.
Allen's POV
Damn! Everything hurts! This asshole Tyki tried to kill me again. At the moment I am lying on my covers not really sleeping anymore but my eyes still closed. It's been nearly six days since the attack. The first time I woke up Shion and Nezumi were there. They explained to me what happened after I blacked out. That Shion brought me back to the camp and stitched me up. That Kanda practically defeated Tyki before Rhode dragged him away. Yes, that's also the last thing I remember. Kanda coming to safe me and the slightly panicked look on his face. Soothing me with the fact that he does care about me.
There was also one time on the first night that I woke up for a moment and saw him sitting next to me, watching over me. He had a concerned look on and smiled as soon as my eyes opened. But I was still too dizzy from the injuries to stay awake for long so practically as soon as I could really distinguish his features I drifted back to unconsciousness. In the end I decided it was a dream as he would never smile like that.
Today is the day I am finally allowed to go out again. For the past time Shion forbid me to go further than the border of the clearing we're in. He and Nezumi looked after me. Though I haven't seen Kanda in the whole time except that dream. There were no akuma attacks either so I figured he was hunting. On the other hand he couldn't be fighting all that time he was nowhere to be seen. Shion though ensured me that he was always there when I was sleeping, actually watching over me. Needless to say I didn't really believe him. Nezumi said the same and both urged me to confront him as soon as I am better, meaning today. I would have done it anyway as I finally have enough of this anxiety. If he wants to reject me then he should simply get it over with. Nonetheless the way he looked when he came to my rescue gives me hope and I also refuse to give up.
So I open my eyes. Today I will talk to him and get a clear answer out of him, even if he doesn't want to. I slowly sit up. Moving still hurts a bit, but nothing that I can't deal with. Shion comes in with some food for me.
"Good morning Allen. How do you feel?"
"Better than yesterday," I answer with a polite smile.
He nods and sets the food down, motioning for me to sit up. I eat while he redresses my wounds. In the end he nods another time.
"They are healing well. I think today you can finally go out again. Just don't strain yourself and no fighting if avoidable," he says with a concerned look.
I nod, "I know. Thank you, Shion. I will be careful."
He sits there for a moment, hands in his lap and his gaze downcast before he looks up at me with a stern face.
"Allen… I know it's not my business, but… can you please talk to Kanda? I can tell how much you are hurting because of this, both of you. And I don't want to see that any longer."
"I will," I say, ignoring the part about Kanda hurting as well, "but I can't promise anything…"
He nods another time, this time eagerly. Then he takes the soiled bandages and the now empty plates and heads out, probably cuddling with Nezumi. I sigh and start to put on my shirt, coat and shoes, occasionally wincing. I stand up, swaying for a moment but then walk out.
And as I predicted Nezumi and Sion are sitting close. I roll my eyes and start looking around for my companion, or maybe rather some clue where he went as I don't want to search the whole forest for him. I am not that strong yet. Of course he is not here and not any clue either. But then I suddenly hear Nezumi's voice.
"He's on the cliff. The one he fell off back then."
"Huh?" is my reaction not really expecting anything like that.
"Kanda. You're looking for him aren't you? He was sitting on that cliff when I saw him," he clears up.
"Ah, yeah. Thank you," I scratch the back of my head.
He nods. Both of their eyes are following me as I walk over the round and into the woods. I know they want us to clear the situation up and to get together if possible.
I walk through the forest for quite some time taking a break in between as I got (obviously) lost. Finally I see light through the trees and know the cliff is ahead. I walk out on it and there he is. Kanda is standing with the back to me, looking into the distance. He stands tall and slightly stiff like always. His arms are crossed and his ponytail is moving in the breeze. I stand there mesmerized for at least a minute. I haven't seen him for close to two weeks, apart from the two half dead moments. But after that I step out.
"Kanda," I address him carefully. He stiffens but doesn't show in any other way that he acknowledges me being there.
"Kanda," I begin again, "I… I really want to clear this up. It's been nagging me for all the time."
He doesn't say anything. I kinda expected that.
"Why… Why did you run away?" I ask, with a pleading tone in my voice.
He keeps silent for some moments. I am standing in the back, not daring to take a step closer to him, wringing my hands in nervousness. Then finally he speaks up, careful and without turning around. The harsh tone is nearly gone from his voice.
"I couldn't face you"
An answer to my question, sure. But it only builds up more questions.
"Why?"
"I'm not good with feelings or words and you felt so much for me"
What's that supposed to mean? It could mean anything. Damn, couldn't he be a bit clearer? I really have to drag everything out of him. Not good with words, no shit.
"Then w-what do you feel about m-me?"
A moment of silence.
"Too much"
"You mean you regret liking me?" I ask in a disappointed tone.
Silence again.
"No, that's not what I mean," and then so silent that the wind nearly carries away, "And it's not just liking…"
My heart jumps in my chest out of joy. He is actually returning my feelings. But then I even less understand why he acted like he did? I step closer to him, now in arm's length. He still doesn't turn and keeps looking in the distance.
"Then why? Why are you pushing me away?" I ask desperate.
He doesn't react.
"Kanda! Why? Do you have any idea how much that hurts?" I nearly shout at him, my injured chest protesting against the strain.
"Because we can't be together moyashi! That's why! We just can't!" he yells back, shooting around now before his voice changes back to sad, "And I know that it hurts!"
His fist are clenching on his sides. There is a mixture of anger and sadness in this deep eyes of his. My face immediately softens at this picture. He is even more lost about this situation than I am. But there is something keeping him from acting on his feelings and I am sure it's not only the church's rules as he never seemed someone to care much about these things.
"Why can't we? I don't care about the rules of the bible. Love is something you can't control. So why not? Are you that disgusted at the thought of being with a cursed person?"
My hands are shaking as I lay them on his shoulders, noticing their tenseness. I really don't want to hear him say 'yes' to that question, but it's the only reason I can think of at the moment. But he shakes his head vigorously.
"No, that's not it! It's not your fault. It's me…"
"You? What do you mean?"
He turns around harshly, my hands falling off his shoulders. I sigh inwardly. He is really difficult. If he would be a bit more cooperative. Saying more than just some hints, nobody could figure it out from only that.
"What do you mean, Kanda? If you ask me there is nothing wrong with you." I inquire.
"Nothing wrong with me?" he snorts sarcastically, "I am not even a normal human! I'm a fucking lab experiment."
That's his problem? I don't give a shit about that. Okay, I admit I was shocked when he told me, but who wouldn't. Nonetheless he is still who he is, no matter if he was created by scientists or 10 years younger than he looks like or his brain someone else's. For me he is still the Kanda I met and the man I fell in love with.
"I don't care about that. You are still you, no matter what. And I love you for what you are, even when I know your past. It's not like you chose to be what you are. And if it helps you, I'm not normal either. I'm cursed after all."
"But I'm a fucking monster! A weapon created for the sole purpose to win this godforsaken war. I even killed my best friend!"
I chuckle, "Well, don't we fit then? I am a Noah, if you have forgotten. I have the 14th's memory in me and it's possible that I will one day attack the Order."
He seems at a loss of words for a moment and I hope that was all he had to bring forth. But no such luck as he continues in a low voice.
"But I will die! I don't have that much longer to live anymore. You will only be hurt!"
Ah yes, that's actually a point I as well dread to think about. Nonetheless I am sure that there is a way around it. And over the time I learned that as long as you do your best and have some hope it will work out somehow (at least I still believe that at the moment).
"We will find a way. Don't worry. I am sure Komui or someone else will be able to make something to avoid that." I say it in a voice as firm as I can manage to make him believe it as well.
His shoulders slump down and I carefully lift one of my hands to lay it on his shoulder, he doesn't do anything against it anymore.
"No, moyashi. You deserve better than me. You are one of the most caring persons in the whole world. You need someone who can give you all the affection you deserve. I can't. I am not able to. And in the end I will only hurt you."
I smile softly. He does only think of me and makes himself so much lower than he actually is. Who would have thought that behind the harsh façade was something like this.
"I don't care, Kanda," I take another step forward, embracing him from behind, smiling as he doesn't resist the contact, "I know how you are and that you won't be able to change that much. And I don't expect that either. We both have our quirks and we won't lose them. Still you have a soft side as well, I saw it. You may be not as affectionate as others, but you can be caring too. And that's all I need, after all I knew that before."
His body loses the last bit of tenseness. He has run out of arguments now, I know it. The pressure from the past days leaves his body to exhaustion. One last try though he still gives.
"We still can't moyashi. It's forbidden, the church considers it a sin. And we work for the church if you haven't noticed."
I smile softly, ignoring my nickname. "As I said I don't care about their rules and neither do you. As for the Order. Our friends will accept it and the others don't need to know. And even if they find it out, they can't simply send us away, they need us for the war."
"But…"
"Kanda. I don't care! I love you and you love me. I want to be closer to you. If you don't want to just say so. I'd be fine with it," I cut him off, exasperated.
He sighs and starts to move in my embrace. I loosen my hold to allow him to do what he wants to. He turns around to me, his gaze is on the ground.
"I do want to, moyashi. Just…"
"Then nothing 'just', BaKanda," I say softly.
Then I bring my right hand up to play with one of the long strands framing his face, running my fingers through the dark silky texture. My other hand lays on his shoulder. His face slowly lifts back up. His beautiful cobalt orbs meeting mine. I smile at him, a genuine one. His face relaxes too when he sees me doing that and even the corners of his mouth go up into something akin to a real smile. Even though he needs training at that, it still looks beautiful. He leans slightly forward, his forehead meeting mine. His right hand runs carefully over my red scar, caressing my cheek while the other settles on my waist.
I smile up at him, titling my head a little. We stay like that for some time, only losing ourselves in the other's eyes. Then he carefully leans closer down to me, his lips coming closer as well. I slowly move upwards to meet him and our lips connect. It's only a careful kiss, soft and tender and pure emotion. Even though he never directly said 'I love you' I know he does through the kiss. Like he said, he is not good with words.
Even after we have separated the kiss we still stay there for quite some time, only holding each other and enjoying finally not being alone anymore.
What none of us noticed were the two figures hiding behind some trees. Yep, Nezumi and Shion followed us, to make sure we would sort it out.
When we return to the camp though they are already there, sitting close. Shion has dozed off with his head on Nezumi's shoulder. The raven smirks at us when we enter.
"So you finally talked it out?"
I blush and Kanda scowls. We both look away, but that is enough for Nezumi to get it even if he hadn't listened in on the whole conversation. At that moment Shion stirs awake.
"Hmm… What is it? Oh hey, Allen and Kanda. You okay?"
I smile, "Yes, everything fine, Shion. Thank you."
He grins and jumps up, throwing his arms around both of us. Kanda looks startled, nearly falling over. I chuckle when I see that. Nezumi appears to be unsure whether to glare at us or grin as well. In the end he decides for the latter.
"I'm so happy for you!" Shion chirps.
"Thank you. Me too. But could you maybe release me? I'm still injured and you're hurting me," I say.
He immediately lets go and takes a step back to Nezumi. Kanda is at my side as well as soon as he can move again.
"Are you okay, moyashi?" he asks worried. See? He has a really caring side! I said so.
I smile up at him. "I am fine. No need to worry."
"I wasn't worried," he denies but the light blush is more than telling.
I grin. I am looking forward to the time we will spend together in the future. One year before I would've never thought that one day I would want to be together with this idiot. But now he is my idiot.
We step forward towards my tent, but before we can pass the other two, Shion moves in front of us. We both look at him confused, Kanda is frowning. Though none of us had expected what comes next. The small white head raises his hand and… slaps Kanda directly across the cheek. I burst out laughing and so does Nezumi. Kanda's mouth is hanging open and he is looking at Shion stunned.
"What took you so long, you idiot?" the white head shouts, his face red and his cheeks puffed out.
Kanda looks baffled, but before he can snap, Nezumi pulls his boyfriend into his arms.
"I think this is enough, airhead," he smirks and leans down to kiss him.
I hear Kanda groan next to me, then he slips his arm under mine, supporting me and heads towards the tent.
"Oi, get a room, you two idiots," he shouts at Nezumi and Shion still lip-locking.
Then, without reacting to the retorts of the two, he opens the tent, leading me in. He carefully lays me down on the blanket. He sits next to me, while I pull off my coat and boots. Then he softly pushes me down.
"Rest now, moyashi. You are still not fully recovered and that was enough for one day."
He wants to stand up, but I stop him by catching his hand.
"Don't go, please," he looks at me quizzical, "Can you, you know,… maybe lay down with me?"
He smirks while I look away blushing. I hear rustling and when I turn I see him shrugging off his coat.
"Sure, moyashi," he says as he lays down under the cover and wraps his arms around me.
I pout, "My name is still Allen, BaKanda! You really have to learn that. We're a couple now!"
He chuckles, "I prefer moyashi nonetheless. But my name's not BaKanda either. You can call me Yuu."
My eyes widen. He just gave me a permission to use his first name, which he really dreads to hear normally. He smirks at me and softly strokes some white strands out of my face. Then he suddenly cringes.
"But do me a favour and only call me that in private. And not let the baka usagi hear of it."
I chuckle but then ask, "Sorry, but if you don't mind me asking. Why do you hate your first name that much?"
He stiffens but before I can apologize he answers, "Back then, you know… My best friend, the-the one I had to kill… He called me Yuu. It's just that I doesn't feel right to me for the others to call me that…"
He finishes and tightens his hold around me.
"I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to…" I hastily start, but he shakes his head.
"No, it's okay, moyashi. Let's just not talk about my past anymore, okay?"
I nod and feel my eyelids getting heavy. Slowly they fall close as I drift asleep in Kanda's arms. This was a day I will never forget, that's for sure.
That's it for today. Thanks for reading.
I hope you liked the scene. If you don't, please remember: This is the first story I ever wrote, so I'm not that good yet.
Also sorry if Kanda was too OOC, I know. But like I said earlier, in my opinion he is all hard shell and sof core. That's why I made him act like that. And also Kanda is just so socially awkward that he simply can't handle the situation with Allen.
So only one chapter left, after next monday the story is at an end.
Anyone an interest in a Sequel?
I would really appreaciate some feedback.
So hope to see you still for the last chapter.