NTYP Chapter 21

DISLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns The Characters

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. A family member of mine has been in the hospital, and so I've not been able to keep up. I hope to get another chapter uploaded very soon. I know how it feels to wait and wait for updates! It sucks! (like Edward) haha..-bad joke-

Love you all!

xoxo donttgettmeupsett xoxo

"It doesn't matter that I don't remember our past. We can start new." He removed his hand from my face and turned from me. "We're friends..."

"Of course we are, Jaco..."

"Then that's all we need. Who cares if I can't remember. Maybe it's better this way." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me. "We can make new memories, Bella. And I promise..." He turned around and there was so much pain in his eyes, it hurt to look at him. "...they will be better than the old ones."

I didn't know what to say...or how to feel... or what to do. He was in so much pain, so much confusion, and yet he was the one telling me it was going to be okay. He was the one making promises to me, and I had no comforting words for him. I just wanted to love him. I wanted to love him emotionally, verbally, physically, and any other way it was possible to show somebody love. But I was scared. I was so afraid he would pull away from me if he knew how serious my feelings were.

He was still looking at me, searching my eyes for something I supposed...but I didn't know what. I was still unsure of the expression that was on my face, but I couldn't look away from his dark, wet eyes. They were so beautiful, but only a mere reflection of his beautiful soul.

His words were so sweet, and so possible. We had some terrible memories in our past, and I was so looking forward to making new ones. But the thought of having to forget what we once had, all of those years together...could I do it? Forget it all? Was it as easy as it had been for Jacob? I didn't want to block out the old memories. I'd take the good with the bad. How strange it was going to be...that I'd be the only one of the two of us who knew all we'd been through together, and he'd never ever know?

I couldn't look at his face anymore, it hurt too badly. I looked away and shut my eyes.

"Let's go inside and get you something to eat. " His soothing voice filled my ears, then I felt a warm hand on my arm.

"I still think I should get home." I whispered.

He took in a deep breath. "Alright..."

It was apparent in his shaky voice that he was having difficulty speaking so gently when he was still fighting his emotions. I knew he was trying to hold it together for me, so I wouldn't cry again.

"I guess I should call my dad." I looked up to see his face. "I need a ride."

The tears had stopped, but his eyes were still red and glistening. He was staring at me with a questioning look and I realized he probably didn't know what I was talking about. He had been injured pretty badly and I doubted he even saw what had gone down between Sam and Edward.

"When you were hurt, Sam attacked Edward and... my truck got in the way."

"What?" His eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"It's just one of those things that comes with having...special people...in my life."

He stared at me for a minute then shook his head.

"It couldn't be that bad." He let go of me and walked over to the pizza. "I'll look at it and see what I can do." He took a huge bite and I grimaced at the thought of it being all cold and wet. He smiled at the look on my face. "MMMmm." He took another bite.

I rolled my eyes. "You'll eat anything, I swear."

After practically inhaling the last slice, he swallowed loudly and wiped his hands on his pants. "Come on, let's go inside. I'm sure you're starving." He revealed his perfect teeth.

"Yeah, I'm gettin' there."

It felt good to see him smile, even though the distress from earlier was still shadowing his beautiful face. He gave his VW Rabbit another look-over before he took my hand and opened the garage doors. The rain was still pouring and I really didn't want to be in it, but I was hungry enough to deal with it.

"Okay..." Jacob squeezed my hand. "Now!" He leaped out of the garage, pulling me forward. I almost fell face first again like before.

My legs could not keep up with him, and I was nearly being dragged. We were almost to the front door when lightning struck and the ear-shattering noise made me scream.

"It's okay." His legs slowed down for me. "It was just a tree...it hit a tree." Jacob grabbed the metal knob and we entered the dry, cozy little house. I breathed hard, looking down at the water dripping onto the floor.

"Bella, you should see yourself." Jacob laughed. I was panting, and he wasn't even breathing heavily. It was so irritating. "You're a mess."

"Yeah, well you're not so hott yourself, wolf man." It was a complete lie.

His laughing faded and all trace of amusement left him.

"Well." He cleared his throat. "I...I'll go see if Billy has anything you can wear." He walked away from me, leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the floor.

Doesn't he own any shoes?

I tracked my own wet shoeprints into the kitchen and grabbed a slice of pizza out of the box on the table. I'd never eaten so fast before, and I was thankful Jacob wasn't there to watch me eat like a pig.

"Hungry much?"

Shit...

I swallowed before chewing completely and turned around. "Yeah..." I said nervously. He just grinned and set a stack of clothes on the table in front of me.

"Uh, Billy said they're my sister's. Hope they fit you."

"Thanks, Jake."

"You can change in my room if you want. I'll stay...you know...out here." His voice was quiet.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah...o...ok." I snatched up the small pile of clothes and hastily walked past Jacob and down the hall.

I entered his room and shut the door fast, leaning my forehead against it. Why was I still so nervous around him? I'd known him almost my whole life, and suddenly I couldn't breathe when I was in his presence. I sighed and turned around. The room was still a disaster, but it didn't bother me. If destroying his furniture was the worst he did after all he'd been through, then he was doing pretty good.

My body shivered as I removed each article of my drenched clothing from myself. Wet jeans were the hardest to remove, and I complained out loud when they stuck to my skin, forcing me to peel them off.

"Gross..." I grumbled, throwing the last piece of soaked clothing onto the floor. My panties.

I walked over to the bed where I'd tossed the dry clothes Jacob had given me, and I held up the grey t-shirt to see what size it was. It looked like it would fit me, and I couldn't help but smile at the design on the front. It was a black and white forest with tall trees and a full moon shining above them, half hidden by clouds. A lone wolf was peeking out from behind the trees, staring back at me. It was beautiful, and I wondered if Jacob would let me keep it.

After slipping the shirt and black sweat pants on, I fell onto the bed, wondering what I was even doing there. I closed my eyes and my mind started to race.

Jacob's fine. He doesn't need me. Well, not in the nursing kind of way. You screwed up, Bella. Why'd you have to go and spaz on him like that? Freak him out with all the crying, great idea. You've really messed him up emotionally now. Why'd you let him kiss you? Oh god, his body, under my hands, between my...oh god, he wanted me, he was going to...we could have... and again in the garage...I felt it...

I turned over onto my stomach and moaned into the bed, wishing I could make my feelings for him go away.

He's just a horny teenager, Bella. That's all. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you like that. He doesn't love me.

I didn't want to move, I just wanted to lay there and think about Jacob on top of me. The pain equaled the pleasure as I replayed the memory over and over in my head. Jacob's lips on mine, his body so close, my tongue tasting his skin...Jacob humping me desperately and panting against my face. I almost exploded right there, but the knocking on the door wouldn't go away, and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I groaned and crawled off the bed, wishing whoever it was would just let me daydream a little longer.

"Bella?"

I sighed when I heard Jacob's voice, and I couldn't complain that he was the one who was interrupting my amazing memory. I cracked the door open and peeked out.

"I'm naked." I whispered. Jacob's jaw dropped and I couldn't help but laugh. "Nah, I'm not. Come in." I opened the door, and he was still standing there with the shocked look on his face. "I said you can come in." I giggled and went back to the bed, sprawling out on my stomach.

Jacob finally blinked, then sighed heavily as he stepped into the room. I watched him as his eyes trailed over me from top to bottom.

"What?" I laughed nervously, and sat up, crossing my arms in an attempt to hide myself under his scrutiny.

"Nice." He breathed, and then his eyes moved to the pile of wet clothes on the floor. "Want me to wash those for you?"

"No, I can do that." I hurriedly removed myself from his bed and crouched down, bundling the heavy, mud covered clothes. I folded my bra and panties in the middle so he wouldn't see.

After I threw the load of laundry in the wash, I headed back down the hall to Jacob's room.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Billy calling from the den.

I didn't know what Billy could possibly want to talk about...but then it hit me. Crap.

I hesitated, then slowly walked into the little den, coming to stand in front of Billy, and I waited for the humiliating conversation to begin.

Please please pleeeease don't tell me you know what happened on the very couch you're sitting on...

There was no way I could look Jacob's dad in the eyes when he knew what I wanted to do to his son.

"I spoke to your dad on the phone." It was hard to tell what he was going to say next. His deep voice always sounded the same, and it made me even more nervous. "He thinks the weather is too dangerous to be out in, so he'd like you to stay here tonight."

Stay? With..with Jacob? In this house? Oh god, maybe that wasn't such a good idea

"No, I...I really need to get back home." I stuttered and walked quickly to the window and looked out. " Isn't there some way..."

"He insisted, Bella. You can go home early if you have to." Billy was right. But, oh god, I couldn't trust myself around Jacob for too long. "The storm should be gone by then."

How was I going to handle an entire night?