Dear Journal:

Sonny here and I am writing you from my room at the rehab clinic that I checked myself into-90 days ago. Now you might be asking yourself, Sonny H-K is rehab? Now that surely doesn't sound like the Sonny we know. Well there a lot of things about me, that the people who loved me the most didn't know about me either.

It all started after the car accident and I was of course given strong pain meds for my injuries. And they worked-for awhile, and then I was pushing myself really hard to finish the nightclub on time, and the pain just followed me, and in time got worse. And then this last time, I was at the club helping to unload our over stock of liquor-storing it down in the cellar, I was at the last 2 stairs and missed one, landing on my already injured right shoulder and arm-causing havoc on all my healing bones and adding some pulled joins, muscles and ligaments, in just for good measure.

The meds I was given at the time-worked at first, but you know me, I push myself, until I drop. And the meds didn't touch the pain I was in. One day I was in the office, with Will and I watched him as he ordered a script for a patient, using a special machine hooked up to his computer, he slid in a card, put in his code and ordered the meds. I watched 2 or 3 times more, and well-you can guess what I did.

I am not proud of it, I ordered meds for myself, to a pharmacy, far from anyone who'd know me. I was sneaky and devious, and destructive...

It all came to a head, when I forgot to pick up Nate from preschool and Will was called by the headmaster. He left a work related meeting to get him and bring him home. He found me in bed, out cold-barely breathing. I had taken too many pills-forgetting how many I'd taken through out the day. He called an ambulance and got me to the hospital. I was there for a week and then I volunteered to go to rehab and I have been here ever since. Will has been by of course, after the waiting period to see family was lifted. The kids are not allowed here and that is fine, I miss them, but I do not ever what them to see me that way ever again.

I am being picked up by My Will in a bit and we are going to first the hospital to schedule surgery for my shoulder-Cameron didn't want me to have it until was clean and he promised me that with any pain treatments we do this time it will be well regimented and non-habit forming. Then we are going home so I can have a well deserved reunion with my children.

So Later and wish me luck.

JSK

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Will pulls up the rehab clinic, happy and relieved that Sonny can come home, yet afraid of it too. He wasn't sure how Sonny was going to act now that all his secrets had come out and if their relationship was going to be able to withstand this. He got of the car after about of minute of silent prayer, and walked into the clinic.

Dr. Philipps: Dr. Horton-Kiriakis, it finally the day we've worked for.

Will: Yes, it is-and Will, please.

Dr. Philipps smiled, and nodded his understanding. He gestured for Will to join him in a meeting room. When they went in, Sonny was in there waiting for him. Will smiled and Sonny did as well. They both were tentative at first, Sonny knowing he had to build the trust back, and Will afraid he might say something wrong.

Sonny: It's so amazing to see you. I've missed you, so much. You have no idea.

Will: Oh, I do-I've missed you. too. More than you could know.

Dr. P: So, Sonny-you ready to head home?

Sonny: Yes, very-I miss my family so much. (to Will) how are the kids?

Will (smiling) Good. They are missing you, just as much as you've missed them, I'm sure.

Sonny: Well, let's go home then.

Will nods yes, and they head out and to their way to the hospital and home.

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When they arrive home, there is a full welcoming commitity ready and waiting for Sonny. He waits a few moments to get of out the car.

Will: What are you waiting for?

Sonny: I'm suddenly afraid to face them. What do you tell them?

Will: Sonny, I was completely honest with them-well in a way the Noah and Norah could understand and Vaeh is not a little girl anymore, she knows what is up.

Sonny: and Nate?

Will: I am afraid, he just wanted his Papa, and nothing I said helped. He had to sleep me, most nights. And I am sorry for that-but he's too young to understand why you had to be gone for so long. He did understands that you were sick-

Sonny taking a steadying breath, he opened his car door and grabbed one of his bags. Will grabbing the other, went and opened the door to the kitchen. The house looked wonderful, better than his memories of it. It smelled wonderful too, Vaeh must have been in here cooking something, then he nodded when he notice the crock pot on the counter.

Will: Come on, I think they are downstairs.

They go down to the rec room and they are all intently watching a movie, even Nevaeh. Who was cuddling Nate in a blanket on her lab.

Nate: Vaeh-I want Papa and Daddy

Vaeh: Me too, Bud. They should be home anytime, ok guys.

Will cleared his voice behind them and they all turned around. When they spotted their Papa, they all screamed with delight. They didn't even stop the movie, they just jumped up and ran to him. Sonny knelt to hug the first one to reach his arms and it was Nate.

Nate: Papa, papa-home.

Sonny: Yes, bud, I am home. (kissing the top of his head) I missed you.

Nate: Me too.

Then Norah came up to him and Nate let her get in for a hug, too.

Norah: Do you know how much your Norie missed you Papa?

Sonny: Nope, I don't

Norah: To the moon and back, a million times.

Sonny (in a shocked voice) A million whole times-you must love me, lots.

Norah: more than ever, Papa. I'm glad you're home.

Noah: Don't hog him, Norie, my turn. (he said smiling and he threw his arms around his Papa's neck.

Sonny: Noah, Bud I missed you so, so much.

Noah: I missed you too-you can't ever, ever leave again. Ever.

Sonny smiled, he had no intentions of leaving again.

Then it was Vaeh's turn to say hi to him and welcome him home.

Vaeh: I missed you, too-Papa. It was not the same around here without you. I agree you can't leave again-Ever.

Sonny: I don't plan on it. Well, expect-next week, I have to get my shoulder fixed-but then I will be home, I promise.

Will: Ok, so now that the reunion is done, tell me something Vaeh, what is in the crock pot-it smells out of this world.

Sonny: Yeah, the food I've had, has been awful.

Vaeh: One of Papa's faves, White bean chicken chilli.

Sonny: with cornbread?

Vaeh: Oh, of course.

Sonny: I'm in, like now.

They all laugh at him and head in to eat their first family dinner in a long time.

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A couple of days later, Sonny got his chance to redeem himself and finally really own what had went down. He attended a AA meeting with Lucas. He wasn't thinking about really talking to anyone about what he had gone through, but he noticed that a lot of his family and friends had showed up and it encouraged him to do what he had set out to do.

Lucas: Hello everyone, and My name is Lucas and I am an alcoholic. I have been for over 30 years, but I have the honor of saying that I have been sober for over 22 of those. Everyday is a struggle, but I have a lot of things in my life to keep me on track.

He gets some applause and then continues.

Lucas: Tonight I recognize all of you, and I know you all are noticing we have a new person here tonight, this is my Son-in-law, Sonny and he has somethings I think he'd like to say.

Sonny gets up and hugs Lucas, then takes the podium.

Hello my name is Sonny and I am an addict. I was- am addicted to pain killers. I am not proud of that fact, and to be honest, it was far from the person I thought I was. I started out taking them because I was given them for pain after a car accident, then another accident I had. My spouse, he is a Doctor and I was deceptive and learned how to use his prescription ordering system and started ordering the pills, and taking them like candy. It wasn't until the day that he found me unresponsive in our bed at him, after(chokes up) forgetting to pick our Son from preschool, that I knew I needed help. I went into a 90 day program and I am feeling great.

When he is finished, Lucas hugs him and says that he is proud to call him Son. Sonny smiles and finds Will, who embraces him.

Will: you want to go home?

Sonny: yes.

Will holds out his hand and they leave the meeting.

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In their bedroom that night, Sonny is in bed, waiting for Will, who is checking the house and the kids. When he comes him the room, he gets naked in record time.

Sonny: I don't think you've ever got naked that fast.

Will: Well, you see-I really missed my hubby. And I'd kinda like to show him how much.

Sonny: (biting his lip) that would be the best thing about being back home.

Will: yeah?

Sonny: oh, yeah-no WilSon time in rehab.

Will is trying to go easy on Sonny, making sure that he doesn't hurt him in any way. Sonny is using his passion, to ride out any pain he still has. Will gets up on his knees and puts his arms on either side of Sonny, kissing him, chased at first, flirting with the idea of it, then Sonny sits up to deepen the kisses, and he pulls Will down on top of him.

Will: You need to be-(but his is cut off by Sonny's mouth on his)

Sonny: Stop talking already-I won't break.

Will pulls the blankets down, to be pleasantly surprised to see Sonny naked as well. He kisses him lightly over the lips and then down his neck, trailing them down his chest to his stomach.

Sonny (panting)Why'd you-stop

Will: All good things in time, baby. (he says before he continues on with is quest. He kisses the insides of Sonny's muscular thighs, knowing this is driving him, crazy, very crazy. )

He continues on with the foreplay and knowing that he wants to be inside him and that is what Sonny is aiming for as well, they work together to find the right position, that will not cause any undue pain to poor Sonny's shoulder and arm. Will enters him, slowly, gentle, but passion forward, they find a their perfect pace, the lovemaking is flawless-perfection for both-it almost feels like the first time-they were together. Will is nearing his peek and Sonny is sensing it as well, this is the part he really enjoys, Will reaches around to pull Sonny close to him and they are almost still as his finishes. There are no sounds in the room, except the heavy breathing and his own heart beat in his ear. For Sonny, he is seeing white lights and this feeling is one, he was sure he'd never feel again-like it was forever lost to him. He roles over to face Will and is shocked to see tears in his eyes.

Sonny: what's wrong?

Will: I'd don't know, this has never happened after we-

Sonny: kinda how I feel too, I love you so, much. You have been truly amazing during this whole thing. And I don't know what I'd done without you by my side.

Will: I'm just glad that you are home with me finally. 90 days is a very long time.

Sonny: So how'd you get through it?

Will: prayer and lots of cold showers.

Sonny smiled and got comfortable in bed. Will cuddled him for a change and he never felt more needed. His Sonny was home and he knew he was going to get the best sleep he has had in a long time.

Will: Night, baby, I love you.

Sonny: See you when the Sun comes up- I love you, too-Will.