Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of 'Boo' Trager, who is an original character created by me. I make no profit from this work.
I'm sorry this took so long to come out! I started college this week and I've been trying to read the novel for my English Lit class all week... it's a total head fuck of a book! Anyways I'll be posting an update at least once a week, I will promise you guys that. Not as often as I'd like, but college is rather important and if I promise at least one update a week then I'll do my damndest to make sure I get out one update a week! Scold me if I don't!
"So things with yer Ol' Lady aren't goin' too well I take it." Michael McKeavey said as he and Chibs drove towards Charming. The words were not a question, but a statement and the Irishman had a smirk on his lips the entire time, a smug glint in his eye. He envied the Scotsman, envied his apparent perfect little relationship with a hot 22 year old young woman – that he'd hooked up with when she was just a girl of 18 and he an old man of 41 no less – and he was glad somewhat to see that their relationship was suffering. It wasn't that he wanted Chibs to suffer it was more, hell four years with his girl without any major troubles; it's about time their relationship took a hit!
Chibs scowled at that, cocked an eyebrow as he turned to glare at the Irishman. McKeavey had gone the whole trip without saying so much as a word about Boo; he just sat back, drank and talked about the cause just like he always did, so why now was he bringing her up? And how dare he even suggest that things weren't right with Boo! Where in God's name had he gotten that idea from? Chibs hadn't said a word about Boo either. He never did when he was with McKeavey because he knew McKeavey didn't give a shit.
"What the hell are yeh on about McKeavey?" he asked, spitting the words out, tone vile and almost threatening. McKeavey couldn't help but titter a little at that! He'd touched a nerve there!
"Yeh nailed at least a half a dozen blonds while with me." He said simply, shrugging his shoulders for over the few days he and Chibs had been up north, the Scotsman had dragged a fair few women back to his hotel room. Always blond, older and more than a little bit ditsy. Women that were nothing at all like his girl back home. "Not like yeh at all, girl's got yeh whipped." McKeavey added. He worked with Chibs a fair bit, and since he'd hooked up with his Ol' Lady he'd let himself get totally whipped. Over the years he nailed the odd woman or two, but mostly he stuck to blow jobs, hand jobs, a quick fumble in a dark corner. His girl had him on a short leash and the man didn't like to tug too hard on it. McKeavey almost felt sorry for him...
"I ain't whipped." Chibs spat back at once, insulted by that comment. He did what he had to, to make his relationship with Boo work and if that meant he didn't fuck whores on runs, then he didn't. And for the most part he didn't want to, normally he'd be satisfied with getting his dick sucked and a dirty call with his girl and his right hand, but up north with McKeavey things had been different. He'd been numb, almost totally void of emotion since he'd left Charming. Things were going to hell with his girl and he didn't know how to fix them, hell he didn't even know what their problems were! They had been so sudden, so out of the blue and made little sense at all! The only time Chibs felt anything, the only time the heavy feeling of numbness was lifted from his shoulders was when he was with a woman. He thrived when with a woman, was filled with excitement, want, lust... those feelings were like drugs to him, addicting, consuming and damn near impossible to resist. Especially since when he was with another woman he could forget for just a short time, push completely to the back of his mind, the troubles he and Boo were having. So when he was with a woman, any woman that didn't remind him of his girl back home, he found it impossible almost to stop until he was lying naked next to her, bathed in the sweet lusty afterglow of sex, weighted down by a heavy burden of guilt and the onset of the numbness soon to follow. And like with any addiction, all too soon he was craving another fix, another hit. Guilt all forgotten Chibs would seek out another woman, driven by his need to feel something, only stopping when the deed was done and the cycle started all over again. Now that he was going home to Boo he felt sick, dirty and guilty as sin. There had been more half a dozen girls, at least one a night in the ten days he'd been away and Boo would know about them as soon as she looked at him. She always did. Chibs was terrified that it would be it for her, for them. That his infidelity would completely drive them apart and put an end to the relationship he'd truly believed would last until his dying day. "And things with my woman are fine." He added to McKeavey, unable to look at the Irishman. Chibs didn't know why he was lying to McKeavey, it only made the terrifying feeling of guilt that much stronger, but he did anyway. He knew on some level he was just being proud, defiant. He didn't like that McKeavey had dared to suggest there was something wrong with him and Boo, that was their business not his! But on some level, he also knew he was trying to reassure himself. If things were fine with Boo, if their relationship was running smoothly, then he could just about get away with what he'd done up north. Hell, if things were fine with Boo he wouldn't have done it at all...
"Sure they are brother." McKeavey chuckled, tickled by how defensive Chibs had become. The Scotsman had been in a foul mood the entire time they'd been together, snapping at every little thing, barely saying two words to anyone. A mood that only improved when he was around women. A mood that worsened after he'd been with one... He and his Ol' Lady were in trouble and McKeavey knew it. Didn't take a genius to work it out. "So yeh gonna tell her about those women yeh nailed then?" he asked Chibs, chuckling again, knowing already what the answer would be.
"What goes on a run, stays on a run, yeh know that as well as I do McKeavey." Chibs spat, clenching his fists tight to stop himself from reaching across and strangling McKeavey. Arrogant piece of shit! Who the hell did he think he was? He knew the SAMCRO rules as well as any Son! What happens on a run stays there, it doesn't get back to the women waiting back home. It was the way things were with SAMCRO, they way they always had been. Boo had accepted that from day one. But then of course she always knew when he'd fucked another woman, always, it was like she had a 6th sense or something. So what of the rules then? How were things meant to stay on a run when your girl could look into your eyes and know you were with another? Others! "I ain't tellin' her shit." He added bitterly, stomach contorting painfully with the knowledge that he didn't have to tell Boo anything. She'd know just by looking at him... Chibs wished that wasn't so. He wished that he could go home to Boo, his beautiful wee Hen and just pretend that nothing had happened up north. Wished he could save her from the pain of knowing that he had been with other women... but he couldn't. He was going to hurt her, hurt her so badly she might just call it a day on their relationship and leave him. Chibs couldn't bear the thought of losing his girl, even more so because it was going to be because of something he had done. He'd never felt such guilt in his life, it weighed him down so much, made him ache all over...
"And there was me thinkin' yeh were all honest and shit with yer girl." McKeavey said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"I'm honest as fuck with my girl McKeavey, no details spared." Chibs snapped, his patience wearing thin, temper on the brink of breaking. Chibs told Boo pretty much everything, about every murder, about every illegal activity he was involved in. Like with Clay and Gemma it was the only way their relationship worked. Everything or nothing. And Boo would never be happy with nothing... "Expect shit like this, it's the club way and yeh know it." Chibs added, turning away from McKeavey, his eyes watching out for any sign that they were approaching Charming. He wanted away from McKeavey, away from their conversation! Whatever was going on between him and Boo was between them and them alone! "So yeh'll do well teh keep yer big fat Irish cakehole up!" But of course, that wouldn't make one bit of difference, Boo would still know what he'd done...
SAMCRO
"Tiggy! Brother!" Chibs cried, wide grin on his lips as he embraced the Sergeant at Arms. He'd not long been back in Charming and after entering the clubhouse to greet his well missed brothers he'd gone across to the garage to try and find his girl, bumping into Tig along the way. It was better to see her before he went to church than to wait until after. If he saw her before she'd know, know all about the women he'd slept with but then have a chance to calm down while he'd told Clay and the others about who McKeavey had been seeing. If he waited until after church to see her all that anger would still be there, he'd have to watch as she took in and processed the news, would have to watch as her heart broke, watch as she got tearful, angry, upset and distressed to the point where she couldn't so much as look or speak to him. At least if he was in church he could avoid all that, Boo could break down and pick herself back up again and then they could talk, try and sort out whatever the hell was wrong in their relationship.
"Scotsman!" Tig replied happily, patting Chibs heartily on the back as they embraced. He was glad to see Chibs return, Boo had been very much out of sorts since he'd left. Whatever was going on between them was really getting to her, although she tried to pretend otherwise. Tig could see it though, he knew her too well not too, could see that it was tearing her apart inside, that it had her constantly on the brink of tears. He hated seeing her like that and hoped that she and Chibs would have enough sense to talk out their differences once they saw one another again. "Good to have you back bro." Tig grinned, patting down his pockets for his cigarettes as he pulled away from his brother.
"Good to be back!" Chibs said, shaking his head when Tig offered him a cigarette. He was too goddamn nervous to smoke, too worried about what would happen when he talked to Boo, which said a hell of a lot because he normally smoked to calm his nerves. "Where's my girl?" he asked as he looked around the lot, only seeing a few of Teller-Morrow's mechanics by the garage. The grin on his face was forced, to hide from Tig the fear he felt over seeing Boo, the guilt that weighed down on him heavier still by the minute. He didn't want Tig to know there was anything wrong. He's surely kill him if he knew what had happened up north, knowing full well what it would do to his beloved little girl.
"Doing some paperwork in the office." Tig said. Boo had thrown herself into working at the garage since submitting the first draft of her novel to her publishers. It was obvious to Tig that she wanted to keep busy, to distract herself from her relationship troubles with Chibs. And since she'd been staying with Tig since Clay patched over the Devils Tribe he knew she'd been spending her evenings doing extensive research for her third novel on Mary Tudor, not stopping until she was so drained she had to go to bed. It was heartbreaking to see and no matter how hard he tried, Tig couldn't get Boo to talk about what was going on with Chibs, nor could he convince her to take things easy and stop working. He hoped that she'd slow down and take things easy once things were sorted with Chibs or she'd work herself to the point where she was ill. Chibs patted Tig on the shoulder in thanks before turning and heading towards the office, stomach twisting and contorting fearfully as he went. "Hey Chibs..." Tig called out before Chibs got more than a few steps away. The Scotsman froze, colour draining from his face just a little as he tried to comprehend what Tig might want. His bleak tone gave little away but Chibs was suddenly fearfully certain that Tig knew about the women he'd been with while up north with McKeavey... If he did, he'd chop Chibs into little pieces, damn the 'what goes on a run stays on a run' rule. That rule was different for Tig when it hurt Boo... Chibs composed himself quickly before he turned around, assured himself that Tig couldn't possibly know anything about any of the women he'd been with. "Whatever's going on between you two, I don't know what it is but talk it out yeah?" Tig said seriously. Chibs sighed slightly in relief, but still felt a nervous tension deep in the pit of his stomach. Tig knew that he and Boo were having relationship troubles, that couldn't bode well...
"Tig-" Chibs began, not quite sure how to explain that even he didn't know what was going on in the relationship, what was tearing them apart. Before he could say anything though, Tig interrupted him. He didn't care much right now for what Chibs had to say, didn't give a damn about his excuses, as long as he went in and made things right with Boo.
"It's eating her up inside Chibs, you two fighting suddenly." Tig explained, unable to stop himself from grimacing. He didn't know what was wrong with Chibs and Boo but he wished he did, because then he might have sort of hope of fixing it, fixing them. He couldn't stand to see Boo so torn apart, so lost and broken; he'd do anything to make that right, to put a smile back on her face. But right now only Chibs could do that, he was the only person who could make Boo smile again. "Go talk it out before I have to rip your dick off for hurting her..." Tig added, his tone light-hearted and humorous but his expression rather serious, lips turned down into a frown, a hint of menace sparkling in his eyes. He could joke with Chibs about it all he wanted, but when it came down to it, he wouldn't hesitate in making the Scotsman suffer if he had to. If Boo was hurt because of him. Chibs nodded, understanding this.
"Aye Tig, will do." He said, trying his best to keep his face calm, neutral. The Scotsman had no doubt in his mind that Tig would lynch him for cheating on Boo, for hurting her to the point that was almost unimaginable but was oh so real. Chibs was about to rip Boo's still beating heart from her chest and stamp on it, he was going to hurt her so badly he didn't think she – or indeed they – would ever recover from it. He could only hope that when Tig killed him, he'd make it quick and as painless as possible simply for the fact that they were brothers, family. It wasn't likely though, Boo was far more important to the Sergeant at Arms that anyone or anything... maybe even more than the club.
Chibs found Boo, as Tig said, in the office doing paperwork. She was slumped over the desk, had dark circles ringing her bloodshot eyes, her skin was paler than usual, almost grey, and she'd obviously lost a little weight. She looked worn, tired and Chibs was certain she was pushing herself again, working herself to utter exhaustion. He could only blame himself for that. Whatever trouble they were having, whatever it was that was making them fight should have been sorted before he'd left. He should have stayed in Charming and refused to leave with McKeavey until things with his Ol' Lady were right again, until they'd talked out their shit and began to put their relationship back on track. But he hadn't, he'd left, leaving their relationship in a state of disarray, leaving Boo and he both fearful and anxious about what was happening to them, to their relationship. Leaving Boo all alone, wondering, speculating, and possibly even knowing what he'd gotten up to while with McKeavey. And he hadn't even called, not once, to make sure she was okay, to reassure her that he was okay! Such a call would have been all it would have taken to snap some sense into him while with McKeavey, the sound of her voice being the one thing that would have stopped him from sleeping around. No wonder she'd worked herself stupid... Chibs watched her for a moment, frown on his lips, dry with the nerves that he felt, stomach contorting painfully as it dawned on him that these may well be the last few minute's that he and Boo were a couple.
"Hey Darlin'..." he said as he knocked on the door. He tried to smile at Boo when she looked up – smiling expectantly herself – but was unable to. Boo knew as soon as she looked at Chibs that he'd been with someone else, that he'd fucked another woman. Possibly women. He had that look in his eyes, which were trembling and dull, the one that he always got when he'd cheated on her. And he couldn't smile at her, or come near her it seemed – he remained rooted to the spot in the doorway of the office – despite the fact that they'd not seen or spoken to one another in days. He looked as guilty as sin. Boo closed her eyes and drew in a deep, shuddering breath, allowed a few hot tears to tumble down her cheeks and drip down onto her Teller-Morrow shirt. She could literally feel her heart breaking, could feel it shatter into a million ragged, sharp pieces that then proceeded to cut up her insides. It was a horrible pain, pain like nothing Boo had ever felt before, not even when Chibs had cheated on her in the past. This time was different, this time their relationship was going to shit and she'd spent days in utter misery, trying to work out what was wrong with them and all the while he'd been off getting his dick wet with a parade of different whores. Probably giving her and their relationship little thought at all.
"You were with other women weren't you?" she whispered, voice hoarse and strained as she used all her willpower to stop herself from breaking, from losing herself to hysteria, to her pain. She didn't give Chibs a chance to talk, didn't want to hear his bullshit excuses and cover-ups. She just wanted to hear him voice the truth that she already knew, wanted him to admit to what he had done. It was the only way they were going to move past it... "Please just... be honest with me Chibs. Please." She said, wiping at her eyes before opening them and focusing her gaze on Chibs. He looked as broken as she felt, he held his her gaze, brown eyes dull and muddy, fearful and full of tears, face pale, entire form trembling. He nodded just once, the action swift and sharp.
"Aye, I was with other women." He admitted with great reluctance. How Boo had known that just by looking at him, Chibs would never know. He wished that she didn't know him so well, that he could mask his guilty face and prevent her from knowing what he had done but he couldn't. Boo knew at once that he'd been with other women and nothing he could say or do would convince her otherwise. Because she would know he'd was lying. The heartbreak, the agonizing grief on Boo's face was awful to see. To Chibs it looked like she was doing everything in her power just to hold it together, just to stop herself from breaking. Chibs hated himself for that, for hurting her so. He deserved to lose her for making her feel such a way, deserved whatever she wanted to say or do to him in regards to what had happened. Deserved whatever Tig had in store for him as well... And none of it, nothing that could be done or said by anyone would put right what he had done. For a long time there was silence, icy and tense, where the couple simply stared at one another, unable to move, to speak, both with identical looks of heartbreak on their faces, both with tears flowing freely down their stark, trembling cheeks. It was Chibs that broke the silence, unable to take it a second longer. He started to apologise, knowing at the very least, he owed Boo that. "I'm so sorry darlin' I just-" his words hurried, rambled as he desperately tried to explain himself before Boo cut him off and laid into him about his behaviour. At least that's what he expected anyways. In reality, while Boo did cut him off, when she did she was shaking her head, a saddened almost guilty look upon her face as if she blamed herself for the fact that he'd fucked other women. Her words only confirming that.
"No. It's my fault." Boo wept wiping at the fresh tears that tumbled down her cheeks. As much as she hated Chibs for what he had done, as much as she wanted to kick at him and scream at him, blame him completely for his actions she couldn't help but feel at fault. Things between them were so shitty and Boo knew it was because she was being snappy and bitchy for no reason. She'd practically pushed Chibs into the arms of whomever or whatever he'd fucked while he was away, especially since she didn't sleep with him before he'd left... "I've been so horrible with you lately, and before you left I didn't feel like having sex and-" she rambled quickly, ducking her head as she was unable to so much as look as Chibs. If only she'd been nicer to him, not been so snappy and bitchy then none of this would be happening. He'd have stayed away from other women while away, he'd have called her instead from the bathroom, giving them a chance to indulge in a little phone sex...
"Darlin' no, no!" Chibs snapped, sounding rather angry as he stepped forward and grasped Boo firmly by the arms. He wanted to shake some sense into her he really did. How in god's name could she blame herself for what he'd done? It didn't matter that things were shitty between them, it didn't matter that they were arguing, that she'd refused sex, he still shouldn't have fucked other women! Chibs found himself feeling guiltier still, worse for knowing that she was putting the blame of his infidelity on her own goddamn shoulders! "I don't know why I did what I did, but I assure yeh, it had nothin' teh do with yeh not sleepin' with me before I left." Chins insisted firmly, squeezing his fingers into Boo's arms tightly to get his point across. "Nor does it have anything to do with how things are between us right now!" He'd made the choice to fuck other women, a choice he didn't have to make, a choice he wasn't forced to make. The guilt, the blame for what he had done feel on his shoulders and his shoulders alone.
Despite Chibs reassurances Boo couldn't help but feel guilty, somewhat responsible. Yes he'd cheated on her and maybe he liked to believe it had nothing to do with her and how their relationship was going, but he wouldn't have cheated on her if things had been okay with them when he'd left. Boo knew this and she was certain Chibs did too.
"But I've been so horrid, a total bitch for no reason and-" She maintained tearfully, determined to shoulder some of the blame she so rightly deserved. She was the one being bitchy and unreasonable, she was the one starting fights out of nothing. She was the reason Chibs had cheated on her. They were just as responsible as one another for what had happened.
"No! Don't yeh dare lay this on yer own shoulders Boo!" Chibs spat, actually giving Boo's a rough shake as he spoke. How could she possibly blame herself for what he had done? He was totally to blame! He'd cheated, he'd been unfaithful and no matter what was going on in their relationship he shouldn't have done so. After all, she hadn't coped by going off and fucking a load of other men had she? She hadn't seen their relationship troubles as an excuse to fuck around with other men! "I did this, I'm the guilty party! And I have no one to blame but myself." He said tone so firm and adamant it left no room for argument on Boo's part.
Boo gave up on arguing her point, knew that it was futile and pointless. Chibs wouldn't let her accept any of the blame for what he had done and to try and shoulder some of the blame herself would only lead to yet another blowout argument. A blowout argument that they didn't need if they wanted to save their relationship... If Chibs wanted to accept all the blame then so be it. It still wouldn't change the fact that Boo felt somewhat responsible for what had happened.
"What's wrong with us Filip?" Boo asked, tight knot in her throat making her voice little more than a croaky whimper. It had happened so suddenly, had come so out of the blue but all of a sudden she and Chibs had gone from having a smooth sailing, wonderful relationship to one that was on the brink of crashing and burning. And for what? There didn't seem to be an answer for it! Which just made things that much worse... "We're falling apart here..." she added, now so distraught and broken she was beyond the point of tears. Her eyes still stung from them though, red and raw from the amount that had fallen in such a short space of time, swollen and aching with the build up of tears that she couldn't make fall no matter how hard she tried.
Chibs wanted to pull Boo into his arms, to hold her tight to his body and kiss her tenderly as he assured her that he was going to hold them together, that he was going to work and fight and do whatever it took to save their relationship! He couldn't know, knew such comfort was not wanted. Boo was broken and hurt, totally betrayed by his infidelity and probably didn't even want to be near Chibs and so most certainly didn't want to be in his arms, pretending everything was okay when it wasn't.
"I don't know Hen, I really don't..." was all he could say instead, dropping his head so that he didn't have to look at Boo a second longer, to that he didn't have to see her stark white face, tearstained cheeks and eyes dull and heavy with betrayal. He wished he knew the answer to her question, wished he knew what exactly was wrong with their relationship so they could fix it, but he didn't. So how the hell were they meant to get things back on track?
"I'm so scared Chibs, I don't want to lose what we have..." Boo admitted, dropping her head into her hands. She was terrified, utterly and completely so. In her mind their relationship was on the way to ruin and nothing was stopping it, there was no obvious way back. Neither she nor Chibs really knew what their problems were or where they'd come from. They were lost, their relationship a heavy fog that clouded their lives completely.
"Nor do I." Chibs agreed, putting a hand on Boo's knee and squeezing gently to reassure her. Boo looked up at him and managed a smile, a teary smile that looked soon to falter but a smile nevertheless. She placed her hand over Chibs' and laced their fingers together, the simple intimate act being another to assure both of them that theirs was a relationship worth saving. Chibs too, braved a smile as he reached up and thumbed away the tears that littered Boo's cheeks before reaching up and pressing his lips to hers, feeling both grateful and lucky when she didn't push him away but applied a gentle pressure back, if only for a moment. "Look darlin', I have church in a little bit but when I come out we're gonna come back here and talk, sort this shit out before it ruins us." He whispered against her lips, hand gently cupping her cheek as he pressed his lips to hers once more. His tone was firm and adamant, determined, because he was not going to let Boo go, not now, not ever. He loved her more than he'd loved anyone before, even more so than Fiona, and there was no way in hell he was going to lose her. He'd fight for her to the bitter end. When he returned from church he was going to lock them both in the office and they were going to talk their shit out, and they weren't going anywhere until they had! Chibs didn't care how long it took, he and Boo were going to make things right again!
"Okay..." Boo nodded, lips perking upwards just a little with a smile that was, although small, warm and genuine. They were going to talk things out; they were going to make their relationship better. Whatever it was that was driving them apart would be worked out and sorted out! Yes things were shitty, yes Chibs had cheated on her and yes, Boo was still hurting more than she believed was possible but she loved Chibs even more than that and she knew that losing him would be even more painful that the ache of his infidelity.
"Are we okay?" Chibs asked, pulling back so that he could look at Boo's face, hand remaining cupped on her cheek. Of course they weren't okay, he wasn't stupid. They were further from okay than they had ever been with no real guarantee that they ever would be okay again. "I know yeh must hate me right now after what I did..." he added grimly, frowning, stomach churning in both disgust at himself and that his beautiful wee Hen probably hated him... He knew she must hate him for what he had done, for cheating on her and if he was honest with himself, Chibs almost hoped that she did. It was what he deserved. If he was Boo, he'd hate himself right now too. In fact he already did...
"We're not okay." Boo said frankly with a shake of her head, because they really weren't so why lie just to give themselves false comfort? "But we're gonna make us okay I promise..." she insisted firmly, gripping Chibs' fingers tight, giving them a shake as she spoke. Come hell or high water they were going to be okay again. After over 4 years together, 4 wonderful years, how could they just give up on one another? "And I can never hate you Filip... I hate what you did, I hate how it's made me feel, but I don't hate you." She assured Chibs, managing a smile despite the fact that in some ways, she did hate him. She knew however, that the hate was temporary, and that the love she felt for him was far stronger and more powerful. Chibs couldn't help but beam when she called him Filip, couldn't help but reach across and press his lips to hers once again. She didn't hate him, she'd called him Filip, there was still a good chance they could put things right! "I love you; I guess that makes me an idiot." Boo added, unable to stop herself from chuckling nervously, for she certainly felt like an idiot. What sane and smart person would put up with what she was putting up with? Would stay with their man and fight for their relationship despite the fact that he'd cheated with a number of different women?
"No, it makes you human." Chibs said at once, his mind drifting back to a very similar conversation he'd shared with Tig over four years previously. A conversation where he'd called himself an idiot for simply being in love, a conversation where Tig had simply called him human. Humans did stupid things when they were in love, but it didn't make them idiots. It just meant that they were in love, that they'd do anything to stay in love for there was nothing, nothing in the world like being in love with someone. No matter what the outcome. "I love you too Boo." Chibs said, pressing his lips to Boo's once again. Once more she returned the pressure, kissed him back softly, but only for a moment. "I'll do whatever it takes to make us right again Hen." Chibs promised. He didn't care if he had to walk on hot coals, cut off his own legs, drag himself to hell and back again, he was going to fight for Boo, he was going to put right his wrongs and get them back the couple they had not so long ago been. Boo didn't say anything to that, she simply nodded and wiped at her eyes.
"You better go, Clay'll be calling church any moment." She whispered, kissing Chibs quickly before standing up and leaving the office without a backwards glance. Chibs took a moment to compose himself before he followed after her. He didn't want the rest of the club knowing how shitty things were between him and Boo, if they did they'd only bombard him with questions about it, tease him and make jokes. He didn't need that right now, what he needed was to go to church and have a few moments of normality with his brothers, a few moments to forget all about the shitty way his relationship was going.
SAMCRO
"So Half-Sack, how's prospect life treating you?" Boo asked as she passed the prospect a hot coffee, feeling as though he needed it since he'd not stopped since he'd arrived at Teller-Morrow hours earlier. She felt sorry for him sometimes, the club gave him a hard time. She knew he was going to make it through his year though, he was tough and brave and although he hid it well, quite intelligence. He was just like Juice, lacking in common sense. Boo liked him though, he had a sweet charm about him – when he wasn't pulling his pants down that is – and was chatty and friendly, with a high respect and admiration for Boo simply because she was his sponsors' Ol' Lady. He was always up for a light hearted chat with Boo, more than willing to sit and have a moan with her about the rest of the club. After Chibs' revelations that he had been with other women it was what Boo needed, a distraction from her still raw heartache, a moment of carefree banter with a friend that kept her mind away from Chibs infidelity.
"It's okay." Half-Sack shrugged as he leaned his broom to one side, accepting the coffee from Boo was a smile and a nod of thanks. Half-Sack was rather fond of Boo, she often tried to stop the guys giving him a hard time and he appreciated that. She was friendly and open and he always felt like he could talk to her. It was nice having a friend within the club, someone who wasn't a patched in member and who wouldn't order him to run random errands and do all the clubs dirty work... "The guys are cool, they treat me alright." He said, and for the most part they did. Tig was a little harsh sometimes, often said the most inappropriate and disturbing things and made him do the most humiliating and degrading things but the others seemed to like him, they treated him almost as a brother already, as someone they could trust. Especially Chibs. Half-Sack knew he was lucky to have the Scotsman as his sponsor; he went quite easy on him considering he was a prospect and all. "Fed up off clearing out the toilet though... someone keeps flashing women's panties down it, clogging it up." He chuckled as he took a careful sip of his coffee. He'd not been prospecting for that long, less than 6 months, and he'd already had to clear up the overflowing garage toilet 7 times. And each time it was because some idiot had flushed women's panties down it...
Boo couldn't help but laugh at that, at the way Half-Sacks face wrinkled in disgust as he spoke. She knew the toilet overflowed a lot but she had no idea it was because someone kept flushing women's panties down it! She wasn't the least bit surprised though, in fact she was more surprised that she'd not thought of such a thing herself. It seemed the sort of thing Tig would do.
"Probably Tig." She chuckled as she shook her head, picturing her guardian doing just that. Slipping across to the garage bathroom to flush his latest conquests panties down the can after she'd left them behind in the dorm or clubhouse...
"Naw, happens when he's not here." Half-Sack said with a shake of his head. He'd suspected Tig at first too - after all the guy seemed to think of rape as a term of endearment, he probably thought of flushing a woman's panties as a sign of affection – but it often happened when he wasn't around. No matter how hard he tried, Half-Sack couldn't catch the guilty party in the act, but he'd narrowed down his list of suspects and he was going to catch the guy responsible out one way or another. "It's Bobby, Juice or Clay I'm sure of it." He explained with a grin. Bobby, Juice and Clay were three guys that had been around every time panties were flushed and Half-Sack was certain it was one of them. He had a feeling that it might be Bobby since that very afternoon Bobby had been in the bathroom when it'd overflowed...
"Or you." Boo grinned, expecting Half-Sack to blush and stammer inaudibly in that cute little way that he did. He didn't however, his face had frozen in shock, eyes fixated over her shoulder at the entrance for Teller-Morrow.
"What the hell..." he muttered, eyes on a flashy, expensive and official looking dark car that had just pulled into the lot alongside a police car. Something was up and whatever it was couldn't be good. Boo spun around to look at what had caught Half-Sacks attention, her own face freezing in shock when she saw what it was.
"Shit." She cursed, stomach dropping to her feet, an icy feeling coursing through her veins. She suspected, almost damn well knew, that the black car belonged to the ATF. And if ATF were in Charming, pulling into Teller-Morrow no less, then things couldn't be good. Especially since the clubs recently assembled AKs were sitting in the garage in oil drums, ready and waiting to be found should any of the agents have a warrant. "They look like ATF, go and get Clay." Boo demanded, giving Half-Sack a shove towards the clubhouse where the full patched members were at church, going over what had happened up north with McKeavey. The prospect stumbled but didn't move, his eyes simply remained fixated on the black car which had now fallen to a standstill and had an important looking woman wearing pants and a jacket getting out of it. Definitely an ATF agent. "Now!" she said firmly, shoving Half-Sack again when he didn't move. The second shove seemed to snap some attention into him for he soon took off in the direction of the clubhouse, returning moments later with Clay, Chibs and the others. Clay immediately approached the ATF agent while Chibs approached Boo. At first he went to put his arms around her, but he soon thought better of it. After everything that he'd done up north with McKeavey, with the state their relationship was in, she probably didn't want him putting his hands all over her, so instead he settled for resting his hand on the small of her back. He breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't shrug his touch away. She leaned into him slightly, her hand too resting on the small of his back. She needed the comfort of his presence, his touch in such a scary, unknowing moment.
"What's goin' on darlin'?" he asked, eyes never once leaving Clay and the woman that could only be an ATF agent. Chibs shuddered at that, knowing that there were a few dozen AK's sitting in oil drums in the garage, knowing it was highly likely that the ATF had a warrant or would have one soon enough. Why else would they be at Teller-Morrow? And if they had a warrant they'd find the AK's and then everyone would be handed a one way ticket to Stockton prison.
"I don't know, ATF just showed up here." Boo said with a shrug of her shoulders. For all she knew ATF could be showing up to investigate some bullshit tipoff. It wasn't likely though. If ATF were in town it was for a good reason. It meant they had something on the club that was far beyond hearsay and rumour. "Shit, why are the arresting Clay? Has he done anything?" Boo asked, gasp catching in her throat as her estranged father and the clubs president was handcuffed.
"Yeh mean aside for the three dozen Russian ladies sittin' in those oil tanks?" Chibs said, scowl on his lips, not a hint of humour in his voice. If ATF was arresting Clay then chances are they had a warrant to search the clubhouse and garage or would have one soon enough! "Shite!" he cursed when he realised both that and that ATF were remaining parked outside the entrance to the lot, meaning that the club wouldn't be able to get the guns out of Charming undetected any time soon. Meaning that they'd be found once a warrant was produced. Meaning that everyone in the vicinity would be slapped in handcuffs and accused of being involved with the clubs gun running. Boo included. Chibs had to protect his Ol' Lady from that, she didn't deserve to be caught up in his shit. "Darlin', I want yeh to go home." He said, spinning her around to that they were face to face, a harshness to his voice, a stern and commanding look about his face. Boo scowled at that, shrugged off his hands which had found their way to her shoulders.
"What? Chibs, I have work to do and you know it." She said, stepping back and folding her arms, a defiant look on her face. Teller-Morrow was busy of late, and with SAMCRO facing a world of problems in relation to the gun warehouse being blown up a lot of work wasn't being done, meaning Boo and various other mechanics had to increase their workloads to get it all done. Both the cars Boo had to work on that afternoon were due to be picked up before Teller-Morrow closed at 6pm.
"That ain't a request darlin', that's a fuckin' order." Chibs said fiercely, jabbing his finger in Boo's direction, the authority in his voice and words shocking both Boo and himself. He never ordered her to do anything... He didn't back down though, there was no way in hell he was going to sit back and let his Ol' Lady get locked up and questioned by federal agents over something she had no involvement in. If she wasn't at Teller-Morrow when they searched it then she wouldn't be hauled in for questioning like the rest of them. Chibs could only hope anyway. He wouldn't put it past ATF to send someone to their home. Still, home was safer that the garage. "ATF will have a warrant to tear this place apart by the end of the day, I promise yeh that." he continued in much the same tone as before, gesturing out towards the garage and clubhouse as he spoke, eyes never once leaving Boo. "And there are enough illegal AKs in those oil drums to have us all sent to Stockton." He concluded. Hell, not only that but they were a direct link back to the goddamn True IRA and if ATF got lead back to them because of SAMCRO then federal agents would be the least of the clubs worries. They'd never even make it to trail; the True IRA would make sure of that. Jimmy O would make sure of that. And he'd make sure Boo died too, make sure she suffered. Just because Chibs loved her.
"Chibs I don't-" Boo began. She understood where Chibs was coming from, she really did but she didn't understand why she had to go home. After all she wasn't a club member, ATF might question her but they wouldn't be able to tie her to any of the clubs illegal activities, to the gunrunning, so they'd have to let her go. She wondered if Chibs was being overly protective of her because of his unfaithfulness. Was he feeling so guilty that he had to compensate by making sure she was safe from a danger that didn't even threaten her in the first place?
"I don't care what yeh want Boo, yer goin' home." Chibs snapped, interrupting Boo before she could finish speaking. "I refuse teh let this shite blow back on yeh, cause if yer here when ATF arrives with a warrant, yeh'll be slapped in cuffs along with the rest of us." It didn't matter to Chibs that she'd most likely be released without charge, what mattered is that he didn't want to have her slapped in cuffs in the first place, didn't want to have her spend the night in some grotty jail cell, didn't want to have her hounded by an ATF agent that wanted the sort of answers that would bring down the club. Boo'd hold her own against such questioning, would never betray Chibs or the club, but he didn't want her to go through it all the same. "Now go!" he said sternly, arms folded, eyebrow cocked, a defiant look on his face that warned Boo not to argue with him. She was going home and that was final!
"Chibs I don't have to go anywhere, I'm not a club member." Boo cried, insulted by the way Chibs was ordering her around like she was a small child or a misbehaving dog. How dare he treat her, his Ol' Lady, as such!
"No, but yer an Ol' Lady, daughter to a founding member and Tig's charge." Chibs said at once, which in his mind, was as good as being a member. She couldn't be more connected with the club if she tried! ATF would give her a hard time, would question her relentlessly, knowing how closely connected she was with so many of the members, knowing that she probably knew more about their illegal activities than she led them to believe. Suspecting that she more than just knew about SAMCRO's illegal activities but was involved with them somehow. "Yeh will be suspected as havin' some sort of involvement, however minimal." He added before Boo could protest again. The brunette frowned at that, gave a curt nod. She'd not really dealt with ATF agents before but she knew they were slippery bastards that liked to play dirty. She wondered how easily they could bring down her budding career as a Historical novelist, wondered how easily they could link her to crime's that she had nothing to do with...She shuddered fearfully when she realised just that it was highly likely that ATF could so such things. Chibs smirked when he realised he was getting through to Boo, reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Now go home." He said, softening his voice, turning his smirk into a gentle smile. "I'll do yeh work for yeh." He added, knowing that Boo hated letting customers down. If she had a job to do, she did it, no matter how ill or tired or otherwise busy she might be.
"Fine." Boo sighed, nodded again, massaged at a dull ache that had formed behind her temple. She'd go home, avoid ATF if that's what Chibs wanted off her. But she was doing it just as much for herself as she was for him. She was going to do nothing, nothing at all to jeopardise all the hard work she'd put into her blossoming career. "I love you." She said, pecking Chibs quickly on the cheek knowing that such a sentiment could make all the difference to them, to their relationship at such a troubled time. Better to leave Chibs with that, with some small glimmer of what they once had been, than storm off and leaving him fuming, leaving him in the sort of mood that could make him snap at the wrong person at the wrong time. Like an ATF agent. "I hope you can get rid of those guns before ATF arrive with their warrant. You have any idea how boring out sex life will be if you're in jail?" she said, chuckling a little at her own joke, a soft flutter forming deep in her stomach when she realised how easy it was to make such a joke, how easy it was to return somewhat to what they had once been despite all their current troubles. There was hope for them yet.
Chibs grinned at that, saw too what her joke meant. Hope, for them, for their relationship.
"I don't know, with my right hand and a bit of imagination..." he joked, chuckling softly as he let his right hand readjust the crouch of his jeans. He earned himself a swift clip round the ear for that, but Boo was grinning at him, eyes sparkling softly in amusement. "Ow!" Chins groaned, pouting a little as he rubbing his ear. Boo simply tutted, pulled his hand away from his ear before pressing her lips to the sore spot on his ear.
"Be safe." She said before pressing a kiss to his cheek once again, arms wrapping around his waist in a loose, hesitant hug. Chibs hugged her back at once, his own embrace a little firmer and more confident than Boo's but still hesitant none the less. They may have shared a joke, may have had a brief return to the couple they once were but they were still in trouble, their relationship still needed fixing.
"I'll try Hen." He promised, pressing a kiss to Boo's forehead before stepping back and out of their awkward embrace. "Don't know when I'll be back tonight." He admitted, for who knows what would happen before then. By nightfall he could be in jail, he could be sneaking the guns out of Teller-Morrow somehow. He could be anywhere. It all depended on what card ATF decided to play next, and chances are it was a warrant.
"Yeah I get it, you've got club business to attend too." Boo nodded in understanding before spinning on her heel, fingers digging in her pocket for her car keys. "Love you." She said, flashing Chibs a smile before she sauntered off.
"Love you too Boo." Chibs said, smiling in return. Before she could dart off he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "We'll have that talk tomorrow okay?" he said seriously, locking his eyes with hers. They had to put off their talk because of the ATF but that didn't mean they weren't going to have it. They had a lot of shit to work through in their relationship that wasn't just going to go away on its own. They needed to talk to one another!
"Yeah..." Boo nodded, although somewhat reluctantly. She was dreading their talk, she really was, fearful that it would end up with them just blowing up at one another again, arguing over almost nothing, pushing them even further apart, closer to breakup. But still, they had to try. They couldn't just pretend everything was okay when it really wasn't. "I wanna get past all this shit before it consumes us." She added.
"Me too Hen, me too..." Chibs nodded, squeezing Boo's fingers one last time before allowing her to go on her way.
SAMCRO
"Hey Boo, what's up darlin'?" Chibs said, speaking quickly. He really didn't have time to be talking on the phone with Boo, he needed to find the sewage tanker containing the clubs guns and get a hold of them ASAP, but knew that if Boo was calling him it was for good reason. She knew when she could and couldn't contact him, knew that when he was on a job for the club she couldn't call so when she did it had to be something important. He wondered if that ATF bitch from that afternoon had paid her a visit, said something, pushed for information... Wondered even more so, feared, that one of the whores he'd nailed up north had followed him home and shown up on his and Boo's front door.
"I'll be quick, I know you're busy." Boo rambled as she darted round their bedroom, shoving clothes into her opened suitcase in a haphazard manner. "I have to go to New York to meet with my publishers and editor... I'll be leaving..." she continued, pausing to look at her watch before adding "Well nowish actually." A grimace on her lips as she realised how late she was running. If she didn't hurry she was going to miss her flight.
"Oh..." Chibs said. If he'd expected anything at all it wouldn't have been that. It seemed a little odd to him that Boo's publishers wanted to see her so urgently, so suddenly. The evening after he'd admitted to sleeping with other women while with McKeavey up north... Was she avoiding him? Avoiding their talk about what had happened, about their relationship problems as a whole? Or was it just coincidence? Chibs had a horrid feeling that Boo was avoiding having to talk to him about all their shit, had a horrid feeling that she was avoiding him... But in some ways he was rather relived. He'd not been looking forward to their talk at all. He really wished they could just go back to the way things were without having to have painful, emotional talks about their relationship. "Why so sudden?" he asked.
"I don't know, they didn't say." Boo said, balancing the phone between her shoulder and ear as she zipped up her suitcase. Her words were a lie though. Her publishers had called and arranged a meeting but she had been the one to push to have the meeting brought forward, to have the date of the meeting changed so she had to leave Charming almost straight away, giving her publishers some bullshit excuse about going on vacation during the week they'd originally planned the meeting for. She just needed to get away for a few days, from Chibs, from their relationship troubles, from the club in general. She was still reeling, hurting from Chibs infidelity and she was in no mood to sit down and talk to him about what had happened. In part she still blamed herself, despite Chibs assurances that the blame landed on his shoulders and his shoulders alone, certain that her sudden bitchy behaviour had driven him into the arms of other women... But for the most part she blamed Chibs, she was angry with him, angry to the point where she just wanted to say to hell with them, to their relationship! So she knew she needed to get away, to calm down and reason with herself, so that she could work out why their relationship had fallen so hard and fast into such a bad place and to work out if their relationship was worth saving, for in the mood she was in, with everything that had happened between them of late, Boo was beginning to worry that maybe they weren't meant to be after all... "I'm sorry Chibs." She added with genuine remorse, knowing that Chibs wanted them to talk about their relationship and its problems, wishing that she had it in her to do so. "We can talk when I get back okay?" she promised, telling herself at the same time that when she got home they would talk about their relationship, they would work through their problems and they would make things right. Because deep down, past all the pain, the hurt, past all the anger she felt at Chibs for cheating on her she loved the hell out of him and she didn't want to lose him. She wasn't going to give up on them without a fight, but first she just needed time...
"Yeah..." Chibs said distantly, nodding despite the fact that Boo couldn't see him, still in a state of shock over the news of her sudden trip to New York. "Safe trip darlin'." He said dismally, voice shaking slightly as horrible, terrifying thoughts entered his mind. What if she didn't come back to him? What if she'd packed her bags and left him? Had his betrayal been the final push to drive her away? Thoughts that were only encouraged when Boo hung up without another word.
SAMCRO
"Boo..?" Chibs gasped, caught off guard when he opened his front door only to be met with the sight of his Ol' Lady sitting on her suitcase, watching the front door, clearly waiting for him. It'd been hours since she'd called to say she was leaving for New York... he'd expected her to be long gone by the time he got in. But lo and behold, there she was, waiting for him. She jumped up when she saw him, wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, that although was still rather hesitant was far less so than her embrace from that afternoon. "Darlin', yer meant to be in New York!" Chibs cried, although that didn't stop him from embracing her back, hands resting on the small of her back as he pressed a kiss into her curls.
"I know, I didn't want to just leave without seeing you." She whispered as she buried her face in Chibs cut, relishing in the way the cool, soft leather caressed her skin. After hanging up on Chibs without so much as a goodbye, she'd burst into tears. She had no idea why she'd hung up on him and felt incredibly guilty about it at once. The way their relationship was going, it was probably the most stupid thing she could have done. She knew she must have upset and worried Chibs greatly for when she tried to call back, his prepay was off. Determined to apologise before she left for New York, Boo had called the airport and arranged to get a later flight, hoping the whole while that Chibs would return before she had to leave. He did, with less than twenty minutes to spare. "I'm sorry I hung up on you before, I got upset... I feel so bad for just up and leaving when things between us are so shitty." She mumbled against his cut. She didn't add that she felt bad because she'd chosen to leave while things were so shitty. Why burden Chibs with that? She needed the time away, to calm down, to sort her head out and work out what was going wrong in their relationship. She'd explain herself when she got back, but for now she'd leave it. It would only start yet another argument.
"Yeh gotta do what yeh gotta do Hen, I understand that." Chibs assured her. Boo had worked hard to achieve her goals as long as he'd known her, pushing to finish all her schoolwork with top marks, staying late at college to ensure she got all her work done before she returned to him and got distracted, sitting up all night to finish another chapter off her novel... She did what she had to do to make herself successful and if that meant leaving in the midst of all their troubles then she'd do it. Their troubles would still be there when she returned, but maybe her book deal wouldn't be if she didn't go when summoned.
"Yeah..." Boo nodded in an offhandish way, glad she had her face pressed into Chibs cut so that he couldn't see the guilty glint in her eyes. She felt bad for lying to him, she really did, but they'd talk about it and sort it when she returned home. When her head was in a better place and she knew somewhat what was causing their relationship to go to the dogs. "Look, I won't be gone long, a couple of days at most. No more than a week." Boo assured Chibs as she pulled away, cupping his cheek in her hand, thumb tracing the scars that were sunk deep into his skin. Both smiled at the familiar gesture, felt better about themselves for it. They were going to be okay; they had to be okay...
"I'll miss yeh. More with every day that passes by..." Chibs insisted sincerely, leaning into Boo's touch, hand cupping hers. He knew on some level that the time apart would do their relationship some good, that it would give them both a chance to see what they were missing, what it'd be like to be without the other. Already he knew it was going to be hell. He just wanted Boo to stay, for things to be right between them, to make love to her and hold her afterwards, whispering to her how much he loved her.
"I'll miss you too, so fucking much." Boo said, tears tumbling down her cheeks despite the smile that had formed on her lips. She missed him terribly already, despite the fact that he was right in front of her. She missed them and knew the only way they were going to return to what they once were was by talking to one another. But she just needed space, just for a little while... "I love you Filip, and I always will, don't you ever forget that." Boo said, throwing her arms around Chibs neck, warm tears dripping down onto his cut. She needed him to know that she'd always love him, needed him to understand that just encase... she wanted him to remember how much she loved him on the chance that when she returned, they couldn't put right their relationship.
"I love you too Boo." Chibs replied, ducking down and pressing a hungry, desperate kiss to Boo's lips, his fingers tangling tight in her curly locks as she deepened the kiss, kissing him back with as much gusto as he kissed her. It was as if they believed that kiss would be their last, believed it so much they kissed one another with all they had, determined to make the most of it, to have that one last moment of intimacy with one another before they lost one another...
"Why do you stink of shit?" Boo asked as she pulled away, nose wrinkling in disgust as she was suddenly hit by the foul stench that clung to Chibs skin and clothes. Chibs grinned at that, going slightly green at the same time as he remembered the events of that evening.
"Funny story..." he said, before going into detail about Jax's idea to hide the AK's in the sewage tanker that had been parked on the lot that afternoon, about the awful task of retrieving them afterwards...
"Well at least you got the guns out safe." Boo said, giggling softly at Chibs' tale. Better he came home stinking of shit than have him locked up for years charged with gunrunning and god only knows what else. "I better go..." Boo said as she caught sight of the clock. If she didn't get in the car and leave now she'd not have a hope in hell of making it to the airport in time.
"Aye, come back to me darlin'." Chibs said with a nod, pulling Boo back into his arms one last time, pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead.
"Always." Boo promised him, embracing him back.
Sorry there was so little Tig in this chapter! And don't worry lovely readers, Boo will return and in the next chapter things will start to get better I promise!
For those of you who haven't already read it, I've published a one-shot based on what would have happened between Boo and Tig had Chibs never come to Charming. Please give it a read and a quick review. Also I know not many of you were keen on the ending, let me know if you would like me to write up an alternative ending...
Reviews would be loved! They are extremely motivational and make my writing more than worthwhile!