Author's Notes:

Dialogue adapted from 'The Initiative' and 'Pangs'.

The vampire leapt to his feet, snarling, fangs glistening. Men with tasers had been advancing on him, but now they paused, thunderstruck.

"What's this, then?" he roared at them. "Who do you sodding wankers think you're dealing with?"

Spike was angry, confused, hurt. And that was before these pillocks had shown up. If they wanted a fight, then by all that was unholy he'd give them a fight.

The military-looking blokes had him surrounded. William the Bloody turned in a circle, growling fiercely, daring them to come closer. At a signal, several of them peppered him with tranquilizer guns. There was a slight tingle of numbness where each of the darts had hit, a bit of paralysis in the very localized regions of the dart tips, but not much else. He laughed and nonchalantly pulled the darts out, swaggering closer and closer to the one he'd picked out as the leader.

One of the men spoke into his comm. unit. "Hostile appears to be immune to sedation. Advise".

The static-y reply came back. "Terminate hostile. Repeat. Terminate hostile".

Spike bounced lightly on the balls of his feet in anticipation. "I'd like to see you try".

They did. Several arrows lodged in his heart. Ouch. He looked down at them, head cocked curiously. "Hmm. Looks like that didn't work". Spike lifted his head back up and gave a predatory smile. "Got anything else?"

Yanking the arrows out, he flew at the leader, tackling him to the ground, fists slamming into him repeatedly.

Instead of fleeing like he'd expected, the other soldiers attacked him, abandoning their weapons and diving in with fists as well. Well then. This was his kind of fun. As the punches flew, Spike came to the realization that the toy soldiers weren't quite human. He should have knocked them out by now, but instead the six of them kept bouncing back, weeble-wobble-like.

Huh. He'd been holding back, Buffy's earlier censorious words about him ringing in his ears, but this was different. These blokes were intent on taking him down, and he was starting to get bloody tired of it. There was only so much the Gem could do for him. Especially when another unit of six men showed up and added their tasers into the mix. The tasers might not stop him, but they still hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.

Right. Time to finish this then. If Buffy didn't like it, tough. This was a matter of self-preservation. The more of them he took out, the harder the remaining ones fought. It lasted longer than he would have liked, but an hour after they'd first attacked him, the military blokes wouldn't be getting up again. Ever.

Spike stood there panting, waiting to catch his un-necessary breath, unsure of what to do next, when six more soldiers arrived and attempted to flank him. A radio squawked. "Agent Finn. Report status immediately". Whoever Agent Finn was, he ignored the repeated command. The men kept high-powered rifles trained on him. Clearly the buggers were getting smarter. It wouldn't kill him, but it would hurt. Maybe enough to give them the advantage. He was about to slip away, until he heard one of the commandos say, "Riley, aren't you going to respond?"

Riley. Agent Finn. Riley Finn. The one who thought he could touch Spike's girl?

He saw red. Before Finn could react, Spike had him trapped, fangs sunk deep into his neck. The others he'd killed in self-preservation, but this one… this one he wanted to hurt.

Except…

"Buffy! They're over here!" It was the boy's voice. That Xander. With the Slayer. Spike hesitated only a moment, then dropped Finn and took off running.

He knew that as soon as Buffy saw the carnage he'd left behind, he'd be running for his life.

After her lame-ass patrol, Buffy had hurried back to the dorm, and twenty minutes later was freshly scrubbed and dressed and ready to party.

Soon she and Willow were walking through the front door of Lowell House. Willow nudged her. "Look – there's Riley. Go flirt".

Buffy looked around at all the cute guys and gave her friend a mischievous smile. "Oh no, I think I should check out the competition first, don't you? Play a little hard to get. Make him work for it".

"Well, that is an option".

"'Sides, Riley is cute and all, but… I don't really know him. Who says he's the oversized man for me? Come on, let's go dance".

"You go ahead. I'm just going to go talk to somebody for a moment".

Giving her friend a smile, Buffy slipped on over to the dance floor, immediately finding a willing dance partner. Two songs later, feeling invigorated by the music, she went in search of the redhead and found her talking to Riley.

"Buffy!" he exclaimed as she approached. "It's good to see you. Are you having fun?"

She gave him a flirty smile. "Sure. Lots of cute guys here".

Willow leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "I came, I partied, I'm ready to go. Promise fulfilled. See you back at the dorm, okay?"

Buffy gave her an appraising look, but only nodded. "Be safe".

As soon as her friend had left, Riley spoke. "So, Buffy… um, did you do the reading on chapter nine?"

Normal? Buffy thought incredulously. Try dull. Or maybe he really was that shy. "Yeah. Some interesting theories. Which one do you like?"

He gave off an audible sigh of relief. "You know, it's hard to choose. They all have their merits, but…" he trailed off as a man with a military bearing approached him.

"What's up Graham?"

"There's a situation si- … Riley. With the plumbing. Downstairs. Urgent," he added, as Riley didn't react.

"Oh. Ah. Buffy, I'm sorry, I need to take care of this. We've had some plumbing problems and these guys are complete idiots, can't fix anything without me. I'll catch you later?"

Buffy smiled, concealing the hurt she felt. Apparently she rated second to plumbing. So much for normal and sweet. She headed back to the dance floor, wanting to shimmy her troubles away, but then Xander came bursting in, dressed in his pizza delivery boy outfit.

"Buffy! Thank god I found you! I was on campus – delivering a pizza – and then I heard this huge fight, so I swung by to check it out, 'cause I thought it might be you. Buffy – it was Spike. Spike's in town. And he was slaughtering those commandos. The ones you've been seeing. Just tearing them apart!"

"No!" she said, shocked, eyes wide with despair. "What – why?"

"I don't know. Maybe… maybe they attacked him. Or maybe he started it. I have no idea. But, come one, you've got to stop him!"

"Why is he doing this?" she huffed. "That's it. He's already worn out his welcome. Tonight I kill him". She followed Xander out, both of them sprinting through the chill night air.

Xander called, "Buffy! They're over here!"

She raced towards the sound of his voice, coming to a full stop when she saw the carnage in front of her. A dozen soldiers were scattered about, obviously dead. Three more were standing in a perimeter, weapons facing outward into the night. Another two were supporting a third, who was sporting a massive neck wound. As soon as they noticed her, their posture stiffened.

"Nothing to see here, miss. This is a military operation. You are not authorized to be here. Please leave immediately".

She ignored them. "Where is he? Where'd he go?" she demanded.

"Who?"

"The va-… the guy who did this? Where is he?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. We are… conducting routine training exercises". Two of the commandos who had been guarding the perimeter approached her and Xander, and with a firm hand, were now trying to march them away. Opposite the dead bodies, the two supporting the injured soldier were quickly bearing him away from the scene.

Buffy glared at the man with his hand on her. "I'd let go if I were you," she hissed as she yanked her arm away, coming to a standstill and refusing to budge. "Why'd he do this? Did you guys attack him? Who are you anyway? This is my town".

The soldier faced her, impassive and silent. Through the mask and goggles, she had no idea what he looked like. With a sigh she turned to Xander. "Come on. He's obviously gone. Let's see if we can find him". She marched off, leaving the non-plussed commandos in her wake.

Spike tore across campus, headed for Buffy's dorm. He'd looked up her room number earlier, before stopping by her house, thinking maybe to catch her in her room, but had decided to take her things to Revello Drive instead. Now he raced to the dorm, hoping she wouldn't go straight there.

Composing himself, he knocked on her door. "Come in," the witch called, and he did. She gasped and scrabbled backwards on her bed, away from him.

"Spike! Wh- what do you want?" She made to scream, but he was beside her in an instant, hand clapped over her mouth.

"Just listen to me," he said soothingly. "'M not gonna hurt you. I… I need help. Need you to put a good word in for me, alright?"

He uncovered her mouth and she glared at him. "Why? Why on earth would I help you?" She narrowed her eyes. "You still want to mess with Buffy? Torment her? She's been through enough, you know".

Spike paced the room like a caged animal. "I know," he growled. "I – I'm trying to do right here. I just want her to know that what she thinks – that it was an act, that I was playing with her – is wrong. I did mean it. Every sodding word I ever said to her. I mean it". He turned his tortured eyes on her. "But I keep messing up. Can't help it. Can't stop the monster inside of me". He scrubbed his face with his hands while Willow watched him warily.

"Look. Tell her… tell her they attacked me. It was self-defense". At her bewildered expression he added, "She'll know what I mean. Bunch of bloody soldier boys tried to take me out. I stopped them. Anyhow. 'M leaving town, won't come back, 'less I hear she wants me to. If she leaves word at Willie's, I'll come".

He strode to the door and stepped through, then paused and turned around. "'M sorry about kidnapping you last year".

"Really?" she squeaked, surprised.

He gave a tight laugh. "Not really. But I'm trying to be. Trying to be lots of things. For her". And he left in a swirl of black leather.

When Buffy burst through the door ten minutes later, Willow was still in the same position, frowning in deep thought.

"Willow, call Giles and tell him Spike's still in town. I was hoping he'd left after dropping off my things, but no luck. He's here, he's murdering people, and I need to put a stop to him tonight". The words came streaming out of her as she hunted under bed for weapons.

When Willow didn't answer, she popped back up and turned to her with a questioning look.

"He's left town now," the redhead told her. "For good".

"Huh?"

"Spike was here. You just missed him. He told me to tell you he was leaving town".

Buffy's legs gave out and she sat down on her bed.

"He was here? And he wanted, what, to give you a message for me?" she asked in disbelief.

"Pretty much. He said… he said that the soldiers attacked him and it was self-defense. I guess you already know what he was talking about?"

"Oh. Yeah, I do. Self-defense?" she repeated blankly.

"So he said". Willow had moved, and was sitting next to Buffy now. "He said a couple of things. Let's see. It was self-defense. He's leaving town for good, and he'll only come back if you leave a message for him at Willie's. And… and he said he hadn't been pretending and it wasn't an act. He really meant all those things he told you, but he couldn't help messing up, couldn't stop being a monster no matter how he tried. It was… he looked so sincere Buffy. I believed him".

Buffy's face was a mass of roiling emotion. "Really? You think he's really trying?"

"I actually do. Maybe he fooled me too, but… Spike's never been that good of a liar. I think he was telling the truth". She gave a little shake of her head. "He even apologized to me for kidnapping me last year".

"You're kidding!"

"Nope. Of course, he admitted right away that he wasn't really sorry, but he was trying to be. For your sake".

Buffy flopped backwards. "What am I supposed to do?" she groaned in misery.

"Do? Nothing. He's gone. Nothing to do. Unless you want him back".

"This is so messed up. Of course I don't want him back. I'd have to stake him. Or maybe I should have him come back so I can. I mean, now he's going to go who knows where and do who knows what".

"Can you actually kill him? With the ring protecting him?"

"Yeah. Good point. I don't know. I'll have Giles do some research on it. I'll decide what to do then".

"It's too bad you don't work for the pizza place anymore," Willow said to Xander, biting into a thick slice of pizza dripping with cheese. "I miss the half-price pizzas".

"Yes, but now Xander has a job digging. Tomorrow I get to watch him dig. I expect to be very excited by it," Anya said loudly.

"Why is she here again?" Willow whispered to Buffy.

"I think they're dating," Buffy whispered back.

"Isn't that, I don't know, creepy? The only reason she's here in the first place is because Cordelia wished for vengeance on Xander".

Buffy shrugged. "Stranger pairings have occurred. The heart wants what the heart wants".

It was true. Her heart still wanted what it shouldn't. Mass slaughter aside, Spike's message to Willow had left a little tingle of hope inside her. Maybe she wouldn't have to feel guilty for caring about the vampire after all, wouldn't have to fulfill her sacred duty and rid the world of one more homicidal bloodsucker.

She was still trying to figure out how to dust him though. Just in case.

Buffy slammed the book shut. "I hate myths. You never know what's true and what's not. So the most obvious thing is to get the ring away from him".

"Except it's not like Spike is just going to hold out his hand and let you take it off," Xander retorted. Buffy considered that. He might, if she asked him. If he really did love her. Of course, if he did, then would she actually be able to dust him?

"Barring that, I do believe decapitation should work. If you can remove the head quickly, in one clean stroke, despite the mystical power of the ring he should not heal quickly enough to prevent death from occurring," Giles opined.

"I still say you cut off his hand," Willow said. "The gem would no longer be in contact with his body, leaving him vulnerable".

"Good ideas all... I have to wonder how quickly healing does occur, though. I mean, I shoved a knife through his eye, and when I pulled it out he was instantly fine," Buffy reminded them.

"Maybe tranquilizers?" Xander asked.

She shook her head. "You saw the weaponry those commandos were sporting. They'd used multiple tasers and tranquilizer darts on him. Nothing stopped him".

"I envy him his invulnerability. I do not like being vulnerable and mortal. It's unpleasant," Anya said. "I deduce the only thing to do is hope he wants to please you and takes off the ring if you ask him to".

"Crap," Buffy said. "Or maybe I'll just have to hope he doesn't come back".

The phone rang, and Giles moved to the kitchen to answer it. "Buffy. It's for you," he said.

"Me?" she asked quizzically. "Hello?"

"Buffy". It was Angel. After he'd returned to L.A, he'd called once, as promised, but the conversation had been stilted. They hadn't talked since.

"What's up?"

Angel described the vision Doyle had had to her, explained that she was in danger. "So just watch out, alright?"

"Well that's really vague. I'm always in danger. I'm the Slayer. He couldn't have visioned anything a little more helpful?"

"Sorry, that's all I've got. I… I could come help if you wanted," he offered.

"No, that's okay. I'll just be extra careful, I guess. Keep on the lookout for guys that want to fight me. Should narrow it down".

"Buffy…"

"Thanks Angel, I'll talk to you later. Tell you how it all went". She hung up on him.

Turning to the gang she said, "So. There's another threat. Besides Spike. Here's what Angel told me…" and she repeated his information.

Giles polished his glasses. "That's rather vague".

"Exactly what I said! And the day before Thanksgiving too! Whoever these guys are, they'd better not ruin my dinner".

She frowned. "I have too much to do tomorrow".