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Chapter Twenty One: Memories

Au revoir avec amour,

Darkdemon

Aka: Nick

"He loves you." Ren answered as I turned to him in surprise.

"What? What did you just say?" I asked.

"Hiei has loved you since your captivity together, sister. You used to love him too." He replied. I stared at him before slumping to the ground. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my cheeks and hitting the ground. Ren bent down next to me and cradled my head into his chest.

"I'm sorry..."

I perched myself in a treetop out of her line of view, while keeping her within my own. I sighed. We fought constantly, I noted warily. She wasn't the same girl. She was bright, energetic, and like every other human female I had ever had the displeasure of meeting. She was everything about the human species I hated. Her views on the demon race was just as bubbly as her outlook on life. Without her memories, she wasn't her. I couldn't stand it. I wanted this girl to die and bring back the first. I just...I hated her now. Strange how I could love her one day and then despise her the next. I perked up when I heard soft sobs echoing in the air and I jumped from the tree, racing toward her.

"What..." I stopped when I saw her being held by her brother as she sobbed into his shirt. He looked up at me and he looked guilty.

I told her the truth.

What truth?

You love her. I stared at him as his mind closed the link. I couldn't move as she looked up at me with her eyes glittering with tears. All of her confusion and pain drove me to protect her, to keep her happy.

"Stop crying." I mumbled as her eyes widened and she launched herself at me. I easily caught her and rolled my eyes as she buried her head into my chest. I felt strange holding her while she cried. This wasn't how I imagined it.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered as I looked down at her in my own state of confusion.

"For what?" I questioned, really not knowing what there was for her to be sorry. It was not her fault she's changed. It was mine and my careless words.

"I just can't remember..." I felt all I knew vanish as I clung to her and she clutch my shirt in between her fingers. We slumped to our knees and I simply held her as she sobbed into my chest, unwilling to let me go.

"You will." I vowed lowly and tightened my grip.

"Saiyomi, Hiei look out!" I looked up before picking her up and jumping out of the way of one of the detective's spirit blasts. She squealed out in surprise, her tone piercing my eardrum,causing my grip to fail. She fell roughly to the ground and I felt panic rise in my stomach as I landed next to her.

Flashing. I could see movement like random video clips were being flashed before my eyes. Everyone was in them along with some people I had never seen before, or had I?

"Saiyomi? I'm not going to be home till late again. There's money on the counter if you want to grab a pizza, kiddo."

"Dad, I'm fine. Really."

"Saiyomi, my baby girl! Don't you run away like your brother, do you understand me?"

"Mommy, there's monsters underneath my bed!"

"Sister, protect mom and dad for me, ok? I'll be back, I promise."

"NO! MOM!"

"Your father is dead."

"Pathetic human."

"Damn demon."

"Hiei."

"Hiei."

"Hiei."

"I loved you!"

"Hiei."

"SAIYOMI!"

"Spitfire loves you, sister."

"Saiyomi!"

"Hey Saiyomi, are you alright?" Bright light filtered into my vision as my eyes fluttered open and I stared at the boys towering over me, their faces etched with concern. I groaned as I rubbed my head in pain as it throbbed incessantly.

"Spitfire, I'm going to kill you after I get rid of this headache." I growled out angrily.

"Stupid demon, you all are all the same, stupid. You're just as bad as those boar demons we caught." I mumbled, still rubbing my throbbing temple. I caught all of them staring at me with wide eyes and I rolled my eyes.

"What?!" I yelled in aggravation as Ren bent down in front of me.

"Who am I?"

"What kind of stupid are you? The normal kind or the special kind? You're my brother, Ren Takio Kanasota." I answered in exasperation as his face lit up in a wild grin.

"Were you afraid of the dark before mother died?" He asked and I rolled my eyes before answering.

"Yes, but so were you so we're even." I replied with a shrug as Yusuke and Kuwabara joined his questioning.

"Where did you meet us?!"

"The pizza parlor. Why?"I asked before they ignored me and continued their interrogation.

"Who were you trapped in captivity with?"

"Idiot who dropped me over here." I jutted my thumb in the fire demon's direction and he stared at me with wide eyes.

"How do you feel about demons in general?" They all leaned forward as I stared at them with an arched eyebrow.

"Uhh, I hate them. They are stupid, dirty, greedy, and murderous beings who should eliminated. You guys should know that." I answered as they faces lit up in wild smiles, all except for Spitfire, who merely stared at me with wide eyes.

"YOU REMEMBER!" Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Ren tackled me as I groaned from underneath their combined weight.

"GUYS! I CAN'T BREATHE!" I screamed from underneath the dog pile. They pulled away quickly and Ren pulled me to his chest, tears pouring down his face.

"Sister, I missed you!"

"I didn't go anywhere." I replied simply as he pulled me closer.

"Physically you didn't! But mentally! Baby sister, I LOVE YOU!" I punched him as I climbed to my feet, brushing off the dirt that had accumulated on my clothing.

"Don't touch me, idiot. I'm gonna go take a shower." I growled as I continued to try and rid myself of the filth that contaminated my skin.

"SAI!"

"Leave me alone." I grumbled as I ran back to the house. None of them moved to follow me and for this I was grateful. I needed alone time to think. To ponder. To consider.

Why was I blank until now?

Why could I not remember anything after Hiei left me?

WHY?

Her confusion trickled into my soul as I watched her run back to the house. I couldn't help her remember, nor did I want to. Her memories would only cause her more grief and suffering on my part and I could not bear to watch her heart break again. Once had been enough for me.

"Hiei?" I looked up when I heard the fox's concerned voice call my name. He eyed me, studying me, searching for a sign as to what my thoughts were, but I kept my face clear, unreadable. He sighed after a few minutes. The detective was laughing at the pouting 'older' brother and the oaf stood as clueless as he always is.

"SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME!" Ren shouted as I winced. His voice was annoying. I don't know how the female handles him so effortlessly.

"Oh man, Ren! Dude! She just shut you down!" Yusuke teased as his eyes turned to me for a moment, evaluating my emotions. Again I kept my face clear of any signs that could lead any one of them to know what I was thinking.

"You alright there, Hiei?" He asked as I stared at him blankly. Of course I was alright.

Why would I not be? I did not love the female.

"Wait!" Ren exclaimed as he clambored to his feet. He pointed his finger at me accusingly, as if I had done something wrong.

"You aren't allowed to tell my sister about the forest incident! You got me, midget?!" He yelled, as if his volume made the difference. I had already made up my mind not to tell the female about that night. I would have preferred it if he hadn't ever mentioned it again. That night was still fresh in my mind, burning at my soul, tearing me apart inside knowing I had caused that tragedy.

"Ren, that was uncalled for." The fox chastised the human with no avail. His words did not mean anything to me.

"He caused this in the first place! I don't care if you love my sister or not! You are a danger to her!"

"Ren!" The detective yelled as I continued to stare blankly at the threatening human male in front of me. His words simply reflected my inner thoughts. I was a danger to the female. I would always be a danger to her. There would be no peaceful ending with me. It was then I decided what to do. To protect her and to keep my sanity. I swore to make her hate me more than she hated the entirety of demon kind.

"Hn." I disappeared from the group.

Something felt wrong.

Hiei had left too quietly with too much determination in his eyes. Somehow I knew someone would get hurt.

"Ren?" I turned to Ren as he stomped his foot on the ground in aggravation.

"What? I gotta go find that midget and kick his ass for ignorin' me like that!" He growled as I sighed.

"Where is your sister?" I questioned, distracting him momentarily from his anger at Hiei.

"Uhh...good question. Guess I'll go find her first, then kick Hiei's ass." With that hint, Ren disappeared leaving me alone with Yusuke and the clueless Kuwabara.

"Do you get a bad vibe like I do, Kurama?" Yusuke asked as I nodded.

"Yes, I do. A very bad feeling. " I agreed as Kuwabara looked between us, confused as always.

"A bad feelin' about what you guys?" He questioned as I sighed and Yusuke looked away as he often did when he didn't want to tell his friend the truth. He prefered it if Kuwabara knew less and stayed happy. Personally I found it annoying and an aggravation most of the time, but deemed it necessary.

"Oh, just the weather, Kuwabara. I think it's going to rain soon." I lied with a smile as he grinned at me.

"Oh! Man! That would rock! I love the rain! Only Eikichi doesn't so I don't think he'll be as playful!" He commented as I truly smiled. He was like an innocent child, caring about others, ignoring the hardships of the world.

"Idiot." I heard Yusuke mumble as the two began to fight once more. I knew the fighting was meant to distract. Yusuke thought more deeply than anyone gave him credit for. I sighed as I listened to the two of them bicker before actually engaging in a fist fight. I had to find Hiei, I decided.

***

"Hiei?" I looked up at the fire demon, resting in the tree above me. His face looked contorted with indecision as he looked down at me.

"Is something bothering you, my friend?" I asked calmly.

"That idiot human is right." He admitted softly as I stared at him with wide eyes. Hiei was never one to actually agree with a human, ever.

"What do you mean?" I questioned as he looked away and glared at the space in front of him.

"That female is much too stupid for her own good. She does not know what is and isn't good for her." He answered with a growl and I suddenly knew what he meant and what he planned to do.

"Your plan will only hurt her, Hiei." I spoke sternly as he turned his glare onto me.

"She is hurting herself now. I refuse to be the cause. She will hate me whether she wants to or not." He growled before disappearing from my sight. I sighed.

"I better go prepare for the battle..." I muttered as I walked back to the house.

"REN!" I shouted as I walked out of my bathroom and found him sitting on the bed. He grinned childishly at me as I glared at him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growled as he shrugged.

"I just wanted to see my baby sister, that's all." He answered and I shook my head, proceeding to ignore him.

"Saiyomi, about Hiei..."

"Don't. Ok? Just don't." I interrupted him as he bowed his head. The memory was still fresh in my mind and it tore at my inner being. I had let myself get close to a demon and had suffered for it. Remembering it had been the hardest part. At first the memories had come in flashes and garbled up audio, then they suddenly became vivid and the sound had been corrected. It was like watching my own personal horror movie in slow motion. I growled as my mind tried to replay the vicious memory and Ren's eyes studied me in worry.

"Sai?"

"Just leave me alone, brother." I mumbled as I searched for my pajamas. I wanted nothing more to curl up underneath my blanket and cry my eyes out, because I knew if I talked about it or even looked at Hiei, I would break down publicly. I wouldn't let them see that kind of weakness.

"Sai, I'm not leavin' you like this." Ren swore as I turned to face him and he climbed to his feet. It only took four strides for him to reach me and he encased me in his arms. Suddenly we sank to the floor and tears flooded down my cheeks.

"He hates me..." I sobbed as Ren gently stroked my back, futilely trying to calm me. I was beyond calming. I was beyond forgiveness. I was beyond repair.

"I'll kill him..." Ren whispered as I clung to him, desperately trying to keep my sanity from unraveling. I shook my head violently and he pulled away, pulling my hair away from my face.

"He's hurt you far more than you or I care to admit. He's a demon and he will pay." He swore as I stared at him, tears still staining my cheeks.

"Brother, don't...please....please..." I begged softly, my sanity slipping through my fingers.

"I can't lose you too."

I could see the raw pain coursing through her soul as I stared into her glimmering eyes. I couldn't leave her like this. I wouldn't leave her like this.

I'll kill that demon, I swore silently as I pulled my sister close to my chest and let her cry herself to sleep.I easily swept her into my arms and laid her gently on the mattress, pulling the cover up to her chest. I lightly kissed her forehead and silently left the room.

"Ren?" I turned to Kurama as he walked toward me and I could see the uneasiness in his thoughts.

"Hiei is planning something." He warned as I nodded. I knew that much. That midget was going to make it easier for me to kill him again and again.

"Any idea what?" I asked as he shook his head.

"No, I am not a telepath like you, so I couldn't know for certain what the plan was. However, I do know he is planning something and it has something to do with your sister." He answered as I growled.

"That stupid..." I muttered as Kurama lightly patted my shoulder. His kind smile did nothing to ease my hatred for the fire demon who had broken my sister.

"Do you have any idea how much pain I saw in my sister's eyes? She remembered on her own and he broke her, Kurama. He will die for his travesty against my family." I growled as Kurama stepped back, dull fear eminent in his eyes.

"Ren, I will not stop you, but let me ask you this; will harming Hiei bring peace to your sister?" He questioned as I smirked.

"Hurting him might not, but killin' him will."

I could hear the human far before he even reached me but I didn't move. I didn't dare try. He'd catch me. I could see and feel the fury emitting itself from his mind and his body. His aura flared across the meadow as he glared at me.

"You made her remember, you bastard!" He growled as I simply nodded.

"She did not want to live in the dark."

"She was just fine in the dark. I could protect her from herself in the dark, damn it! YOU on the other hand just want to keep stabbing her and stabbing her in the heart until she dies! I will not allow you to hurt my sister any longer, you ego maniacal demon! I'll kill you before you kill her!" He threatened as I continued to stare at him unemotionally.

"Did you tell her it was I who forced her to remember?" I asked with a smirk as his frown deepened.

"No! I won't deal that blow!" He growled. My smirk widened.

"Then allow me the honor." His eyes widened. Before I could move however, I froze. Saiyomi stood behind her brother, her eyes wild and her hair flaring around her. She wasn't as strong as she was in the forest but still far more powerful than I could've imagined.

"You want the honor, Hiei? Very well. Go on. Tell me. Tell me how you allowed me to believe you cared and then watched as I was massacred before your eyes. Tell me how you did not save me, nor even try to. Tell me, Hiei, how you have proven to me that all demons are spineless, evil beings who all deserve to die." Her voice echoed eerily in the still air around the us. Ren stepped back. He allowed his sister the pleasure of dealing with me.

"I couldn't stand that pathetic sulking, human." I growled as I could now feel her hurt. A feeling in the pit of my stomach grew and I suddenly wanted to take everything I had done to hurt her back. I fought to push the feeling away. More hurt would come to her if I did not cut my ties now.

"Tell me something, human. What does it feel like to live in a constant haze of stupidity?"

"I don't know. What's it like to have a black hole in your chest?" She countered as I fought the desire to chuckle at her witty comeback. This female was making it incredibly hard to go through with my plan.

"Kill him already, Sai!" The human groaned in annoyance as I glared at him.

"Be quiet, Ren." She growled as I stared at her.

Was she truly wasting her time?

Or was she prolonging the job? She was a professional, after all.

Ok, so I can explain the lack of updates. Two words: Jet Lag and Vacation, ok so it's three words but still. Hopefully now that the holidays are over, I'll be able to update more often. Thank you faithful readers!

Sorry.