Disclaimer: I don't own Lost

I know I've been away for a while, but I've just been so occupied with other stuff. I hadn't even had a chance to work on other writings like I wanted to. I was considering also working on other short fics, but I haven't forgotten this one. What would help most would be getting back into the spirit of Lost which I haven't been in lately. I will try to make more time for this. Knowing that you guys are still reading really helps too.

So, we last left off with little Ben going to see Richard for answers. In the past on the island, Sawyer and younger Ben have walked into Locke's private camp and had a mini confrontation with Claire.

Chapter 20: Deja Vu

It was a moment as awkward, if not more so than the time he spent seated before Claire. The man known as Richard Alpert sat across from Ben on a couch, staring back as if he expected him to explode at any minute. Ben tried his best to ignore the gaze and sum up his reasoning for coming. Ever since Richard decided to let him in, there had been no further exchanges of words that had anything to do with the visit. Richard had briefly questioned him on how he had arrived and if he was missing anything at the moment. After Ben confessed, Richard had left to fetch a warm cup of coffee before returning to his seat. It had given Ben enough time to take a good look at his surroundings. There was nothing in the household that screamed Richard was a dangerous or creepy individual. The home was quite ordinary for a bachelor.

"So, Ben, we might as well get down to what's really on your mind," Richard suddenly said sharply.

"Well, before we start, why don't you tell me how you know Claire?" Ben tried.

"I don't think that's any of your business," Richard announced calmly. Since meeting him at the door, Ben had noticed Richard had calmed down enough to defend himself quite well. Ben looked away, deciding he would have to hold back on being too bold. This type of interrogation had to be played out carefully.

"Okay, well, I guess it doesn't matter. My dad's not friends with her either. She's too crazy."

"Well she's been through a lot," said Richard, who was sporting a thoughtful look. "Which is why people like her and people like me need their space."

"I didn't want to intrude," Ben said apologetically, "It's just, I didn't have anyone else to turn to."

"You still live with James don't you?"

It unnerved Ben to know that Richard knew so much about him, while he knew nothing about this man.

"Yeah, but, he doesn't….I can't go to him. He won't help me." Ben sank back into his chair and brought forth the façade of a troubled child. "He doesn't care about me."

Richard took a sip of his coffee and watched him with piercing eyes, but said nothing in response to his comment.

"You know, I don't want to keep you here late, so why don't you cut to the chase. Why are you here?"

Ben rolled his eyes toward him, then pulled himself forward.

"Fine." He leaned forward and bowed his head. "I don't really know how to explain it, but, something strange happened, at my birthday party. I saw, I don't know what I saw, but, it was like I saw myself, grown-up, living another life." Ben looked up to see Richard quirking a suspicious brow. "The first one, I was like, torturing my dad somehow, and the next, well we were on an island, and he hit me, and-"

"You know," Richard suddenly said as he set his coffee down on the table. "I guess I should start by saying, how foolish it was for you to follow the address of a stranger without telling anyone where you are."

Ben blinked, confused.

"But you're not a stranger. You know me."

"But you don't know me," Richard countered. "Telling your school friend isn't enough."

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Richard snapped with a raised hand. He stood and sighed. He was no longer meeting his gaze. "I've got to make a call."

With that Richard left the room. Ben started to call out to him, but he feared making things worse. Instead, he sat back in his chair and considered the idea of planning a way to sneak around Richard's house for hidden information.

FLASH

Richard ignored the feeling of exhaustion that was attempting to overcome him as he traversed through the jungle. Every once in a while he'd glance around warily as if he was expecting someone or something to suddenly come down upon him.

He ran a hand across his brow, then stopped. He was starting to wonder if he had any real need to travel anywhere at all. He quickly decided that it was better to keep moving.

Soon enough, much of the jungle was left behind him as he quickened his pace. He was moving so fast he practically stumbled out of the brush, and nearly fell into the stream before him. There was a startled cry and he turned to see Kate standing near the edge, staring back at him in surprise.

"You scared me," she accused.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, once he'd gotten his footing. "I was just…passing through." He ran his hand over his brow again as the exhaustion deepened.

"Here," Kate said as she offered her water, "it looks like you could use some."

"Thanks," he said gratefully as he accepted the water and drank thirstily. Once he'd replenished himself he handed back the water bottle.

"What are you doing out here Richard? I thought you were traveling with Ilana."

Richard looked up to see her giving him a suspicious frown.

"I was, but I decided to head for the temple. She's under the impression that I know what to do, once we get all the candidates together, but I don't have a…," he paused when he realized Kate was missing something important. "Hold on, weren't you watching Ben?"

At that, she paled.

"Yeah, but I, kind of lost him."

"You lost him," Richard remarked as he started to laugh at the absurdity of it. "Are you sure he didn't just disappear?"

"To be honest, I don't know," she answered as she scratched the back of her neck anxiously. "I find it hard to believe that he would come all this way from the past, just to vanish. But he wasn't the only one I'm looking for."

"James," Richard correctly guessed with a nod. Kate glanced up at him. "Well, I'll let you continue your search and rescue."

He didn't take more than a few steps before she called out to him.

"Wait!" She waited until he fully turned around and faced her. "It might be easier, if you help me."

Richard's hands found his hips, and he bowed his head and grinned.

"I couldn't even help Ilana, and now you're asking me to help you? I don't think it would do you much good."

"You don't know that."

"Well, what I do know is that you're asking me to help find a three year old Benjamin Linus who isn't even supposed to be here, okay. That's the kind of thing I want to keep my distance from. There's enough things going wrong on this island."

"Well like it or not, he's here," Kate said angrily. "And if James isn't going to take responsibility for him, someone else has to."

"Well that someone's not gonna be me," he retorted. "I'm done, with him, and this island."

FLASH

When Richard came back into the room, Ben felt tense.

"Did you…call my dad just now?" he squeaked.

"Don't worry about it," Richard said as he sat back down.

"Well, are you going to help me?"

"Help you with what?"

Ben could sense he was starting to become annoyed with him, so he lowered his voice and shrunk in on himself to appear more innocent.

"Help me…understand what's wrong with me."

Richard was glaring at him now.

"How am I supposed to know what's wrong with you? That's the kind of thing you talk over with your father. Claire was wrong. I can't help you."

"Claire wouldn't have given me your address if-"

"You yourself said she was crazy," Richard pointed out. He turned away from him and shook his head. Ben held back a sigh of frustration and dropped his gaze. "What are you even doing here kid?"

"Huh?"

When Ben looked up, he was no longer sitting on a chair in the living room. Instead he was standing in the middle of a forest of trees; more specifically he was standing in the middle of a jungle, feeling scared and nervous at the sight of a scruffy looking man standing before him. In his mind, he had the sense that he had never met the man before, regardless of the fact that he had just somehow met him in a perfectly normal house.

"You wanna tell me what you're doing in the middle of the jungle all by yourself?" Richard asked in a way to ease the tension.

"I left home, and…I'm looking for my mom," he admitted quietly. He held tightly to the handle of his bag as if it was a safety net.

"You think she's out here?"

"You wouldn't believe me," he decided flatly. Aside from fear, Ben was experiencing a dark type of confusion that was making him highly unsure of himself.

"Try me."

"She's dead," he said bluntly.

"Did she die here on the island?"

"No. When I was a baby." There was no thought about the fact that his mom had lived long enough for him to reach three years old.

"Did you see her, out here, Ben in the jungle?"

"She talked to me." He was sure of it, somehow. It had happened.

"What did she say?"

Ben gave him a careful look. He wasn't so sure he liked being interrogated by some random man wandering through the jungle, yet, he didn't object to confiding in him.

"That I couldn't come with her. She said it wasn't time yet." Sadness began to replace the fear. He could hear her words echoing back at him from a woman he couldn't fully see in his mind's eye.

"You should go home now, your people will be looking for you."

"I don't want to go back there! I hate it there! Take me with you."

"Maybe that can happen, maybe." Richard began to close the space between them. He wasn't like the others. He seemed to genuinely care about what he was feeling, unlike how he had somehow brushed him off. "But if that's what you really want, Ben, if that's what you want, I want you to really think about that. And you're gonna have to be very, very patient."

"Ben! Ben!"

Something was tapping his face, then darkness consumed him. When he opened his eyes, he found the same man looming over him. The only difference was that he wasn't the scruffy looking wanderer in raggedy clothes. He was clean shaven, and their environment was the living room, not the jungle.

Ben turned his head slowly as he came to the realization that he was lying flat on the floor, and there was the faint sense of dizziness in his head. As for the rest of his body, he found himself feeling a bit weak and empty.

"Are you alright?"

For the moment he could only stare up at the man who minutes before had been a complete stranger. And now, he had the feeling that he had known Richard Alpert for a very long time. Fear and sadness were emotions he did not want to experience right now.

"Wha…what happened?" It was a strain just to speak at the moment. He wasn't sure how to view this man. Was he a friend? Or a traitor?

"I..I don't know. It was like you were having a seizure, then you slipped to the floor and passed out."

"I saw it," he suddenly said. He didn't yet feel strong enough to get up. The only strength he found was in his voice. "I saw that other life." He briefly paused upon seeing Richard's confused expression. "You and me…we were in the jungle. I was telling you I saw my mom, and you were—"

"Stop, just stop," he ordered. "I don't want to hear anymore."

"But it's the truth!"

"Your dad should be here soon."

It was the one thing that could motivate him to get to his feet.

"You called my dad!" Ben cried, panicked, "Why?"

"Because you shouldn't be here. And because I'm not going to spend my day listening to lies."

"They're not lies! I don't know what they are." But Richard had his back to him, refusing to lend him an ear, and Ben felt hurt by it. It was so strong, the feeling that he'd had some promising relationship with this stranger. "Please…help me Richard."

The silence that had settled was interrupted by a pounding at the door. Ben didn't even turn to it as Richard did. He heard him open the door.

"Where the hell is he?"

Ben slowly looked around and met his father's furious gaze.

Again, I hate that it's been a while. Maybe I'll find time to pop in a few Lost episodes to help keep me going. It would also be awesome to see some more little Ben Lost fics on here to encourage me as well. Til then, I hope you guys are still keeping an eye out on Lost stuff!