"I think I'll pass. Still traumatized over the litchi."
"Heh, I see. That's too bad. Meal is on me, Dotachin. And I wanted you to have the very best. It's not every day I get to share a meal with a quasi-friend."
"'Quasi-friend'? That's a strange way of putting it..."
"How would you put it, then?"
"Just...friend. 'Quasi' makes it sounds a bit..."
"A bit wrong? A bit as if you were just trying to gain my trust for some ulterior motive? Dotachin, have you ever heard of the 'Categorical Imperative'?"
"Doesn't ring a bell."
"It is an ethical principle enunciated by the philosopher Immanuel Kant. The precise way it is spelled out is somewhat technical: 'Act only according to that maxim hereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become an universal law' but it can boiled down to, 'treat others as an end in themselves and not as means to achieve an end'. Now, Dotachin do you think that you can say you are following this principle with me?"
Kadota was glad that they were in public. It helped him not to sink under dismay. Just when he began to get comfortable around Izaya, Kadota was shown the errors of his way. He decided to be vague about it.
"Does anyone ever actually follow it?"
Izaya leant over, his eyes twinkling in a disturbing manner that reminded Kadota of a snake luring its prey.
"Precisely. I contend that no one does. Take people who are helpful and all around dedicated to making others happy. One might think that they are indeed seeing others are ends in themselves but that is a naïve conclusion. They help people because they like doing it. It makes them happy, sends endorphins coursing through their blood and lights up the feel good centers in their brain. Ultimately, it is a selfish motivation. They delude themselves into believing that they are ever so selfless and that of course feeds the cycle. And I am not mistaken, Dotachin, you have experienced this at least on occasion. Shall you prove me wrong for once?"
Izaya was so sly that Kadota shivered. Kadota was not planning on reflecting about himself but Izaya could be a twisted mirror of sorts, the more one peered into it the more of oneself one saw and in the darkest colors possible.
"Yes, I know what you mean. Helping others makes people happy."
"Isn't it interesting? But Dotachin, I did not ask in general term. I asked about you in particular.
"It has happened to me, yeah."
Izaya giggled.
"Nothing I did not know so far, no new information. How about you indulge this instinct of yours and tell if being 'friendly' with me is your way of doing me a favor of sorts and thus a way of 'helping me'?"
Kadota blinked. For once Izaya was so utterly off that he did not know what to say.
"No, being with you is fun. I mean, I have fun."
"Hmm...so would you say that you 'like me' now?"
Izaya used air quotes and all.
"It's difficult to answer when you ask that way. I'd feel stupid saying that I like you when you're being so sardonic."
Izaya gazed off into empty space in some vague direction that was off centre from Kadota and thus made him nervous.
"So, do you want to be my friend for real? Be careful how you answer that, Dotachin. I can see through lies but that is not be your greatest problem. You have a conscience and rest assured it will come back to haunt you if you lie. Then again, wouldn't that be fun for me!"
Kadota did not get angry easily but he was angry now.
"Doesn't matter if I want to be friends with you or not, it's obvious you do not want to be friends with me."
"Oh? What else is new? Or did you truly believe that I was starved for affection and so in need of a friend?"
"That wasn't it."
Izaya relaxed into a smooth smile.
"Wonderful, then. Here is to us using each other for our mutual benefit."
He picked up a glass and offered to toast. Kadota toasted back as if in a daze, unsure of whether he had scored a point here or lost massively.
"By the way Dotachin, do you know why this wine is red? I mixed my blood in it and now you are part of me."
"Izaya-"
"Just kidding. But if I were to compare you with someone from the Litchi Hikari Club it might very well be Tamiya."
"And you're Zera...?"
Izaya laughed.
"No, not at all. I'd be the mangaka."