A/N: Happy Friday! I've managed to finish going through this chapter, so here's a bonus second one for the day. See what happens when I'm not scheduled to work on my favorite day of the week? I hope everyone enjoys.
Chapter 21
Steve frowned, watching Danny rush inside. "You think he's okay?"
Catherine sighed, climbing off Steve's lap and sitting in Danny's vacated chair. "Are you really interested in being with Danny?"
It took Steve a second to follow the abrupt change in topic. "Where'd this come from?"
"You let me sit there on your lap and play with your hair right in front of him."
"Danny and I talked about this. He knows that you and I aren't serious."
"And he said he was okay with it?"
Steve thought back. "We got a little distracted talking about Victor, but he hasn't said anything."
"And you think he would? What happened to stepping up your game and showing your interest?"
"What am I supposed to do? Plant one on him while he's trying to breathe?"
Catherine stared at him a moment. "It's my fault. Actually, it's the fault of every person who's succumbed to your slow smile and washboard abs."
"Cath – "
"You've probably always been able to sit back and let your partners come to you. I bet if I asked Mary and Chin, it's always been like that. Now you have someone who isn't just going to climb on your lap and play with your hair. If you want Danny, you're going to have to stake your claim. And if you aren't going to step it up, then I know someone who will."
Steve was prepared to tell Catherine that she had no idea how difficult it was to make a move toward a recuperating man in a house filled with people in the middle of a stressful situation when her last words stopped him. "Who will?"
"I met Felix."
Steve snorted. "He doesn't like kids."
"Actually," Catherine said, crossing her legs in that way that always caught Steve's attention, "he told me that he hasn't been around many children, but he's taking steps to be more comfortable around them – because he's interested in Danny."
Steve leaned over the table, closer to Catherine, anger coiling in his stomach. "He told you that?"
"In so many words," Catherine allowed. "He seems to be genuinely interested in Danny, willing to actually say and do something. So you need to decide if whether you're going to fish or cut bait. And soon."
Steve sat back, unsettled. He'd been out of the military too long and hadn't neutralized a legitimate threat. He'd grown complacent. And he'd already begun taking Danny for granted, something he'd thought he'd never do.
Figuring no time like the present, he stood. "I'm gonna go check on him."
"Go get 'em, Tiger," Catherine said, slapping him on the ass as he walked past, grinning cheekily at his glare.
Passing Mary doing who knew what in the kitchen, he climbed the stairs quietly, surprised to find the bathroom dark, the door open. He knew Danny wouldn't have gone into Catherine's or his rooms, so he slowly opened the door to the girls' room. At first he didn't see anything other than two little girls in strange positions on the bed, but upon closer inspection, he found Danny asleep underneath them, hair already disheveled, looking extremely uncomfortable. Steve wanted to wake him and tell him that there was plenty of room in his own bed – he'd sleep platonically with Danny even if it killed him to have the other man so close – but he wasn't sure how without waking the girls. So instead, he returned downstairs with some blankets for Mary, who was now sitting outside, sharing a beer with Catherine.
"I guess it didn't go so well since you're back," Mary said idly, peeling a banana.
Steve glared at Catherine, who shrugged. "Don't blame me. She was eavesdropping."
"Sound carries pretty well in this house if you don't close the doors," Mary reminded him, taking him back to various times they'd snuck around and listened to some of their parents' conversations when they'd been growing up.
"He's already asleep," Steve explained, not wanting to discuss it with Mary, who could use it embarrass him even more in front of Danny. "I left some blankets on the sofa for you."
"She can sleep –"
"She's not taking your bed," Steve told Catherine.
"I was going to say," Catherine said, giving Steve a let-me-finish look, "that she could sleep with me. The bed's big enough for two of us."
"Don't do it," Steve warned. "She kicks."
Mary nodded regretfully. "He's right. He probably can't have kids now because of me." She smiled mischievously at him. "Of course, the path you're taking, you're not really going to be having kids anyway."
Steve just chose to ignore her. "Goodnight, Catherine." He returned upstairs, leaving the women chuckling quietly.
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The sun wasn't a bright, merry ball in the sky, Danny decided, as his eyeballs began to burn through his eyelids. It was a fiery ball of torture straight from hell. He groaned, rubbing his hand over his face, and almost lost his balance in Steve's hammock.
Hammocks sucked too.
However, sleeping alone in a hammock meant that he didn't get an elbow jammed into his throat in the middle of the night, for which he was grateful. He'd slipped downstairs and outside, doing his breathing exercises before crawling into the hammock for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
He opened his eyes, wincing as the sun bore a little deeper into his skull, and realized that something was moving onto the beach. His eyes focused a little better, and the shape bore form, Steve heading toward him, dripping wet, board shorts hanging low on his hips. He looked like every wet dream Danny had ever had.
He saw Danny and smiled, and Danny could've sworn that he'd suddenly lost feeling in half his body.
"Good morning," Steve said as he brushed his hair back, the muscles in his arms flexing, leaving Danny almost speechless.
"Um," Danny muttered, unable to take his eyes away from Steve's biceps.
Steve chuckled, a low deep sound that drew a certain portion of Danny's anatomy to attention. "Obviously, you haven't gotten your morning cup yet."
"Hmm," Danny said, letting Steve believe what he wanted. Besides, it was partially true.
Grabbing a towel hanging off the back of one of the chairs, Steve rubbed it over his head, giving Danny a good look at the tattoos on his chest. Obviously oblivious to what he was doing to Danny, Steve asked, "How long have you been out here?"
Danny's phone was on the table beside Steve, and Danny wasn't about to try to get out of the hammock while Steve was around. It wasn't going to be pretty, if his getting into the thing were any indication. "Since… dark?" He'd come out while the stars were still out, and while he'd found the waves a little distracting, he'd fallen asleep almost immediately.
"I must've missed you when I came out," Steve said, plopping on the chair and smiling goofily at him.
Danny wanted to smile back, but he felt off balance, both physically and emotionally. All he wanted to do was crawl into Steve's lap and inspect each and every one of Steve's tattoos. With his tongue. All he could do was blink back at the other man.
Steve either didn't notice or didn't care, because he continued, "I opened the door last night to check on the girls, and it looked like they were a two headed octopus trying to squeeze you to death."
Danny couldn't refute the analogy. He'd slept in the same bed with the girls before, but it'd been when they were much younger. And smaller. He wondered if they'd shifted so much before and he'd just never noticed or if they'd started doing it recently. Either way, he'd had to leave in order to survive. "Yeah," he said, his voice catching as he tried to catch his breath. "It's been a while since we shared a bed. They've grown up a bit."
"You could've slept with me; I have more than enough room."
Danny blinked, unsure of how to respond. After last night, he'd resigned himself to lusting after Steve from afar, sucking it up when Catherine did stuff like sit on his lap and play with his hair. He tried to remind himself that they both lived all the way over on the East Coast and would eventually return there, but that didn't really ease the pain in his chest.
"What I'm saying is." Steve suddenly looked uncertain, something that Danny didn't think he'd ever seen before. Then he took a deep breath, got that storm the battlements look on his face, and said, "What I'm saying is that I would have liked you there. In my bed."
Maybe he needed that coffee more than he thought.
"With me." Steve added.
That clarified things, Danny supposed, sighing regretfully. Turned out, Steve was interested, just not exclusive. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm not that guy." It hurt to say it, but living a lie would hurt more.
Steve frowned, obviously confused. It should've made him look a little ridiculous, but of course it just made him more endearing.
"I'm not that guy who can take things lightly," Danny explained. "I know you and Catherine have this thing – " He waved his arm in the air, "that seems to work for you both, but I've never been good at sharing."
"The thing with Catherine is just for fun," Steve said, and Danny could tell that he just didn't get it.
"Babe, I can't even begin to explain to you the difference between our definitions of fun." His phone alarm started to buzz quietly. "And I have to wake up Grace for school. Can you do me a favor and go do whatever it is you do after swimming ten miles so I can get out of this contraption with some modicum of dignity?"
Steve smiled faintly and stood, holding his towel loosely in his hands. "I'm not finished with his conversation."
"And it's always about what you want, huh?" Danny asked, knowing he wasn't being fair but wanting to move on. Even if he wanted to do the casual thing, it just wasn't in him. He committed to people, and getting less back would slowly eat away at him. Plus, he had to think about being a good role model for his girls; he had to show by example that settling was unacceptable. He didn't want them to think that it was okay for them to accept less than what they deserved, and while he wasn't convinced that he deserved what he wanted, he was convinced that they did.
Hurt flashed over Steve's face, replaced quickly by determination. "Okay then, next conversation we'll start with what you want."
Danny hadn't expected that and was thankful he didn't have to think up a ready comeback as Steve walked into the house.
Chin, bless him, had offered to take Grace to school, so Danny got her ready, fed her breakfast, and smiled wistfully as she hopped excitedly to Chin's motorcycle. While he could understand her excitement, he was a little sad that she didn't even look back for a final wave as they headed down the street.
He could hear Steve in his study, murmuring to someone, and decided to take the time to do his breathing exercises before returning to the paperwork. And of course, he had at least one call to make.
Jenna woke up less than two hours later when he was about halfway through the paperwork, and he took a break to get her ready for the day, laying out her workbooks across from him out on the lanai.
He looked out at the ocean, watching the gentle breeze tease Jenna's hair and letting himself enjoy the moment, pushing all of the other stresses to the back of his mind. Even knowing to do so was risky, he imagined living here with Steve, a family of four. It'd be nice to have a partner, someone not just to help shoulder the load but to share in the good times as well, another adult to celebrate when Jenna succeeded in conquering one of her fears or when Grace brought home one of her works of art.
Eventually, though, he reminded himself that Steve was the guy who had meaningless sex with friends. Sure, he'd stepped up with the girls, doing way more than Danny had ever expected, but it was one thing to have them temporarily, totally another to know that things were going to be that way forever.
Danny wasn't sure that Steve had thought that far ahead. Danny knew he wasn't bad looking, but he also knew that he wasn't anywhere close to Steve's league. The man was a dark haired god with ridiculous eyelashes and a smile that could make a person lose their train of thought. Danny was short, loud, with hair that he had to tame with a variety of products. He wasn't anywhere near Steve's CEO status; sure, Steve hadn't really worked his way up to the position, but Danny had no doubt that he was good at his job. Danny knew he was good at his job too, but it had come with hard work, learning from his mistakes, and fighting every day to keep his head above water.
And now Victor Hesse, who'd been in the background all this time, manipulating Danny's life without Danny's even knowing of his existence, managed to shake the fragile balance of Danny's world with the ease of one simple visit.
Danny stared at the papers in front of him, wondering if all of this work he was doing were a waste of time. If Hesse had his way, Danny would be unemployed with a shop he couldn't reopen without making it a completely new store – and he was certain to have to pay Boone some sort of penalties. He knew that Steve was working on it, and if he had to have anyone in his corner, he'd want Steve. However, Steve didn't know the whole story, and Danny wasn't really keen on telling him. He knew he probably would have to explain the whole situation eventually, but he hoped he was due a little miracle.
In the meantime, his shop was still open, and he had payroll and bills to pay, accounts to balance, deposits to log, and wayward suppliers to put back into line.
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Steve hung up, leaning back in the desk chair with a sigh. He'd been on teleconferences and meetings all morning, finally ending the East Coast workday with a lengthy conversation with his father about Danny's situation – evidently, his dad had decided to hear him and Victor out separately. Steve hadn't expected his father to take his side just because he was his son, but he'd hoped that the past two years of practically running the company while his dad was recuperating would've stood for something. Even though his dad hadn't said it out loud, his tone suggested that the elder McGarrett was leaning toward taking Hesse's side. He was talking around it, but Steve had seen this countless times as he grew up. Steve had rarely won in the past, though he'd never had so much to lose – or gain – before now.
Wondering how Danny was faring, he walked into the kitchen with his empty green smoothie glass and drained water bottle. He refilled the water bottle, idly listening as Danny paced in the living room with his cell phone to his ear, alternating between berating and cajoling what sounded like one of his distributers. He smiled around his glass as Danny told the person to "cut the bullshit". It totally explained why he was in the living room while Jenna sat out on the lanai, the glass door between them firmly closed.
As he listened, Steve's admiration of Danny's skill grew. He'd seen Danny interact with customers, handle the shop with expertise, but he now realized that he hadn't really considered the amount of business acumen Danny had to employ to keep his small shop running smoothly. Sure, he could only afford one employee and could barely pay that person minimum wage, but he'd had to negotiate all of his own supply rates, without the power of the Boone name backing him. He'd done it all on his own, and listening to him, Steve was impressed all over again. Danny was inspiring, and his skill made him that much more attractive.
Their aborted conversation entered Steve's mind. He'd had to push it back all morning so he could concentrate on his work, but now he took it out and looked it over.
He understood what Catherine and Danny were trying to tell him, that Danny was a commitment type of guy. They both seemed to think that Steve wasn't interested in commitment when the truth was, Steve didn't have the experience to make an informed decision. He'd committed to the Navy for over thirteen years. They'd prepared him well in Annapolis, and he knew what was expected of him.
However, romantic entanglements were filled with dark corners and potential landmines, and he never felt comfortable trying to navigate his way through them. He supposed psychologists would look into his mother's death and his father's emotional and physical distance for answers, but the fact of the matter was, Steve had never felt the need to make the effort to learn. He'd found women, and occasionally men, who understood how to separate their physical needs from their emotional ones. They remained friends even when the physical side of their relationships changed.
But Danny was different. His compact body somehow managed to house, but not contain, a heart that grabbed hold of everything around him. He felt everything, cared about everything. He was devoted to his friends and family and wouldn't hesitate to do anything he could to help them. Danny was devoted father, dedicated shop owner, steadfast friend. He was the living embodiment of the word commitment.
Maybe Steve was being selfish. He knew he was attracted to Danny and enjoyed spending time with him. But what did he know about long term? He was growing attached to Danny's little girls, but was he capable of being there for them for more than a few weeks or a couple of months?
The front door slammed, and Grace's running entrance forced him out of his thoughts. He found his legs enveloped by a grinning six-year-old. "I had a great day, Uncle Steve! They had pizza for lunch and Bobby got into trouble for putting gum in Sheila's hair and he wasn't supposed to have the gum in the first place and Sheila cried because she always talks about how her hair is better than everyone else's because it's blonde and now it's going to have to get cut really short."
She stopped to take a breath, and Steve jumped into the opening. "That sounds like an exciting day. How about a snack before you start your homework?"
"Let me go say hi to Danno. Has Jenna had her snack yet?"
"Danno's on the phone in the living room. Why don't you wave at him, and grab Jenna from the lanai. Bring her in here, and I'll put something together you both . Sound good?"
Grace nodded enthusiastically and tore across the room with a, "Hey, Danno!" before jerking open the lanai doors.
Chin chuckled, walking into the room.
"Wow," Steve said, a little shocked as he washed his hands. "Did she breathe on the way here or spend the entire trip talking?"
"She had to wear her helmet, so I was lucky. One of the benefits of riding a motorcycle," Chin said. "How's Danny?"
"He's been reaming his distributors for a while, so I think he's doing better," Steve said, waving Chin to a chair. "There's no question where Gracie gets her lung capacity."
"I thought you'd be all over him to make sure he was doing his exercises and taking his meds," Chin said.
"We kind of had a thing this morning, so we've been staying out of each other's hair," Steve admitted, slicing up some oranges and putting them in two bowls. He added some fresh pineapple chunks and set the bowls on the table.
"A fight?"
"No, more like an unfinished conversation."
The girls entered, sitting down and happily eating their snacks while Steve walked Chin outside.
"So, does this unfinished conversation have something to do with your and Catherine's friends with benefits thing and Danny's unwillingness to join in with the free love?"
"How did you kn – it's not free love," Steve protested.
"Danny's a keeper," Chin said, unperturbed. "Unless you aren't interested?" His tone made it clear that he knew that wasn't the case. He took advantage of Steve's pause and added, "It's none of my business."
"You're ohana," Steve dismissed, actually grateful that he had someone to help him hash it through. "Danny's all about commitment."
"And you're more of a casual kind of guy?" Chin asked.
"I've never really thought about long term," Steve explained. "As a SEAL, I knew I was going into dangerous situations, so I concentrated on the here and now. And then after dad had his heart attack, I took over, but you know dad. He wasn't going to let that stop him from going back to work."
"So what's the problem: that you've never been in a committed relationship or that you don't want one?"
Steve stared across the street at Mrs. Kopeleki working in the flower garden in her front yard. "What if I try it, and I can't do it?"
"Can't do what?"
"Commitment."
"Let me ask you something. Have you ever had this problem before?"
Steve didn't understand. "Which problem?"
Chin chuckled. "This worry that you won't be able to commit to someone."
"It's never been an issue before," Steve admitted.
Chin smiled gently at Steve. "Maybe the reason why you've never committed is because you've never found someone you wanted to commit to."
"But it's not just him. I've already made mistakes with the girls; what do I know about being a parent?"
"As far as I can tell, whatever mistakes you made didn't do irreparable damage, and you're fooling yourself if you think that there's such a thing as a perfect parent. Danny never grew up without a permanent family, yet he's managed to create one on his own. I think that it's about faith – and determination. And you have both of those in spades. So perhaps the question is, do you want to focus those on Danny and his daughters? Once you figure that out, you'll have your answer." He clapped Steve on the shoulder and straddled his bike. "But you need to make a decision. Danny and the girls deserve to have someone they can count on."
Absently, Steve returned to the kitchen where Danny sat between the girls, their heads together as they laughed. He walked in, seeing all of their happy faces turn toward him, and that's when he realized what he wanted.
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Danny chuckled at a bad joke Gracie had learned at school and looked up to find Steve staring at them, bemused smile on his own face. His expression as he looked at them made Danny want to reach out and draw him into their small circle. But he knew that it would be sending a message to the girls, which wasn't fair while Steve was still working out what he wanted.
"Time for homework," Danny said. "Thank Uncle Steve for the snack, and then you can do it outside."
The girls thanked Steve, each giving his waist a big hug before heading out to the lanai, Grace pulling her backpack behind her.
Danny waited until they'd closed the door and were settling into their chairs before he took the bowls to the sink. He stood there a moment, trying to collect his thoughts, before saying quietly, "I wasn't one of those kids who went to bed every night praying for a family. I've always been the kind of guy who just takes life as it comes and makes the best of it." He finally looked over at Steve who'd sat down at the table and was watching him attentively. "But I do know what I want and what those girls need." He couldn't help running his eyes over Steve's chest. "I can't let them get attached to someone who can't commit to us. But it doesn't mean that we can't be friends," he added hastily, knowing that he'd rarely hear from Steve once the former SEAL did his best to fix Danny's problems and resumed his easy life back in Washington, DC. Danny didn't have an issue with the girls learning that friendships took all sorts of forms, and sometimes your friends moved away and out of your life. He felt a pang when he thought about that with Steve, but he pushed it down.
"Just because I haven't made a commitment before doesn't mean I don't want to," Steve said slowly, as if he were thinking about each word before he said it.
"I'm not here to force you to do anything you don't want to do."
"That's just it. I want to try, but I'm worried – " Steve's eyes shot to the girls outside.
"You're worried that it won't work, and you'll hurt the girls," Danny said.
Steve nodded, looking worried.
"Look, maybe we're just making too much of this," Danny said, forcing himself to keep his voice light. "You're going to be returning to DC soon, but we're still gonna be here. I can't imagine that I'll have much time for sexting or whatever the kids are calling it nowadays, and you're going to return to your old life. So maybe we should just leave it like this. Friends." He tried to smile, but it felt forced.
Fortunately, Steve seemed to be so deep in thought that he didn't seem to notice. He sighed, nodded. "Okay. Friends."
Danny clapped Steve on the shoulder and headed out to the lanai, his heart telling him that friendship was the coward's way out. But his mind reminded him that he had two little girls who deserved to have someone permanent in their lives. Danny wasn't sure if he'd ever find someone willing to take them on, but he figured they were doing okay just the three of them. It would've been nice to have someone standing beside him, but the girls were really all he needed. Maybe if he continued to tell himself that, he'd eventually believe it.
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Steve didn't want to be friends. Well, he wanted to be more than friends. And he wanted to try this relationship thing. But Danny had made good points. Steve's home was in DC, and he didn't want to hurt the girls.
But he still wanted Danny.
The logical part of him was telling him to let it go, that it didn't make sense, that their lives didn't fit together. But another part of him, the part that had kept him alive doing things he wasn't cleared to talk about, refused to believe that there wasn't a way to work everything out.
His phone rang, and he looked at the screen, sighing when he read the caller's name. "Hey, Dad."