"Can you explain to me how it is that we're in a flying car?" Regina asked.
Robin rolled down his window to look out over the side. It was a long, long way down. They were high enough that everything looked entirely too tiny.
"I think there may be a village down there," Robin said, gesturing out his window. "Perhaps you could steer toward it."
"And what? Hover above it?" She glanced at him disdainfully. "I'm not a chauffeur."
"If you put on the brake, perhaps we'll descend," Robin pointed out.
"Or just plummet from the sky." Regina said, raising her brows in alarm.
"We can't stay up here forever," Robin said. "Can't you use your magic?"
Regina waved her hand with a flourish, but nothing happened. "Not a thing," she said. "Wherever we are, this car is the only magic around."
She steered the car in the direction of the village, which was set on a coast. People were gathering in the streets, gesturing up at them as they flew by, and Regina found that by circling and gently applying the brake, the car began to descend. At last, they touched down in what appeared to be the town square, where a contingent of guards from the nearby castle was waiting to greet them.
"In the name of the King and Queen of Vulgaria, you are hereby ordered to surrender your flying car."
Regina straightened her shoulders and stared the man down. "I am Queen Regina of the Enchanted Forest. I demand an audience."
"You're nobody," the guard sneered. "Not in Vulgaria." He gestured to his men. "Take them to the dungeons!"
###
Henry stumbled slightly, regaining his balance. He was in Central Park, and just barely missed being run over by a hansom cab. He made a disgusted noise, chiding himself for his inattention. He moved off the pathway into the grass for a moment, and fished out his cellphone.
"Damn." He looked around guiltily to see if anyone heard that slip out, then made a face as he stared at the dead cellphone in his hand. Why didn't he recharge it before he left?
He'd told his mom he was going to study, but really, all he wanted was some privacy. After nearly two years, he'd finally found her. That was nearly as easy as it should have been. Some people just don't have a virtual presence, and when you're working from a crappy laptop in an apartment with a mother who knows how to dog your every step, stuff like this takes some serious finesse.
And now he was out where he could finally talk without another set of ears listening in, and he hadn't charged his damn cellphone.
"Goddammit." He looked around again, this time in triumph for having added to his epithet. He wasn't too far from the castle, and they ought to have some kind of outlets somewhere in that area...shouldn't they? He didn't need it for long. He moved over to a less-traveled path, and started walking.
It was several minutes before he started to get the feeling. It was an icy trickle down his back, just a tiny nudge of something that wasn't quite right...he glanced around, not seeing an immediate threat. That is, until he noticed the bird.
It was perched on a park bench along the path. It seemed to be staring at him, its black head was cocked to one side, and as Henry walked past, the head turned to follow. It spread its dark wings, and alighted ahead atop a nearby piece of playground equipment, in child-friendly area of the park, and two others joined it. By the time Henry got closer, it was a half-dozen birds now, flapping their wings and settling clawed talons on the cold metal of the bars.
Henry glanced up at the sound of flapping wings and saw another twenty or more birds streaking through the sky, only this time, they weren't aiming for the playground. They were after him. The birds on the jungle gym alighted as one in a dark cloud of beating wings and screeching calls, and Henry began to run, his eyes casting about for shelter anywhere he could find it.
They swooped and attacked, pecking at his head and face and hands as he threw them up to protect himself. Claws dug into his arms and tore at his hair, and he called for help even though there was no one in sight. He stumbled, nearly going down and heard them screeching louder, as if in triumph, and he realized with a deep and sickening terror that no one was going to help him. They were going to kill him. He had a nauseating memory of some bad horror movie he'd stayed up to watch one night - the victim had been left in a field, and birds had pecked out his eyes.
He was perspiring now, arms flailing, hardly able to see through the flapping wings and blood running into his eyes from the wounds on his head. He saw the tipped-over garbage can through a haze of sweat and blood and made a dive for it, grateful to find that whatever trash had been inside had fallen out when it tipped. He pulled it over on top of himself, pulling his knees in so that it enclosed him completely.
He could hear the birds screaming, pecking and beating against the can, alighting and diving and throwing themselves against it, trying to dislodge it from him. He was shaking so hard, he was afraid they might just be able to do it. He braced his knees against the outside of the can, trying to create enough tension to keep it from moving. It was close and dank and smelled of something rotten, and he gagged, hard.
His voice was a bare whisper, and he thought again of his dead cellphone as his lips formed the name.
"Mom..."
###
"On your feet," Grumpy said, nudging Regina with a pickaxe. "The king needs us working."
Regina raised a brow. "Excuse me?"
"It's the Queen's birthday," Grumpy said. "He's got us on present duty and nobody sits out on my watch." He gave her another prod. "Get to work."
"Oh, so this one is your scenario?" she asked. "It figures. It's not like dwarves have exciting social lives or anything else to do with their time." She got to her feet, dusting off her dress.
"Move it!" Grumpy said, pointing with his pickaxe off toward the workroom area of the dungeon. Regina's eyes narrowed.
"I'll remind you, dwarf... I don't do manual labor." She pulled herself to her full height, so that she could look down on him as loftily as possible. "I am royalty," she reminded him.
"You ain't in the enchanted forest anymore, sister," Grumpy countered. "And unless you have an urge to see your royal head rolling into a basket underneath a guillotine, I would suggest you follow me."
Regina made a face, but forced her feet to move as she walked behind the dwarf down the long, dim tunnel that led from the cell area to the workroom. Once she entered the room, her eyes landed on Robin, who was hard at work making some kind of life-sized rocking horse. She crossed to room to him.
"What the hell is this?"
He continued sanding the hindquarters. "Apparently, the king has a love for toys, and the queen gets a new rocking horse every year on her birthday."
"How old is she? Five?" Regina snarked.
"Don't let anyone h-h-hear ACHOO! you," Sneezy said, wiping his nose with a handkerchief. "The queen is not to be disparaged."
"A sovereign leader who collects toys?" Regina sneered. "It's a bit...distasteful, don't you think?"
"Says the woman who collected hearts that she ripped out of her subjects," Grumpy countered. "Grab some tools and get to work. No lollygagging."
Regina held up one carefully manicured hand. "Do these hands look like they've ever built a toy?" she said. "I buy what I need. Or it's given to me, as is my due."
Robin reached out, setting a hand on her arm. "Regina," he said quietly. "You're not above this."
"What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously. "Of course, I'm above this. I'm the queen."
He gave her a placating smile. "Here, you're just another worker," Robin pointed out. "And that's exactly what you need to be. You can't let pride keep you from doing what needs to be done."
She started to protest, but his unusual emphasis on the word "pride" sank in. She rolled her eyes as he gave her a wry grin.
"I suppose I'll have to risk splinter and hammered thumbs, won't I?" she complained.
"I'm afraid so," he said, chucking her under the chin. "I have no doubt you are up to the task. You're a brilliant, resourceful woman, Regina. You can figure this out."
"Enough chatting!" Grumpy yelled from across the room. He pointed at the blank sheets of paper down on the table. "Figure out a design and then get building!" He turned to throw a wooden block at a dwarf in the corner. "Sleepy! Up and at 'em!"
Sleepy scurried off the stool he'd been snoozing on and joined Regina at the table.
"What do you have in mind," he asked, yawning widely.
"How do I know?" Regina said, shaking her head. "Have I ever built a toy for a grown person before?" Robin gave her a look, and she let out a sigh. "It would help if I knew her a little better," Regina pointed out. "Her likes, her dislikes -"
"She hates kids," Sleepy volunteered. "She locks them all away in the dungeons."
"The things she likes to wear..." Regina finished.
"I have a picture," Happy said, smiling widely. "I keep it with me, always." He pulled the picture out of his pocket, and Regina's eyes widened. She took in the long, blonde braids, the thigh-high fishnet stockings and the tightly cinched corset. She turned the picture towards Robin with an pointed look. His eyes widened as well.
"She's...quite something," Regina replied, handing the picture back to Happy. "Does she always dress that way?"
"Only when she and the king are playing their games," he replied, flushing slightly. "She's a bit of a scamp."
"Clearly."
"She locks the children in the dungeons?" Robin asked. "Where?"
"Down below us," Happy replied. "There's another level down. Their parents come to visit sometimes."
"That's awful," Robin said. "We've got to help them!"
"You've got to get to work!" Grumpy said, pushing him with the handle of his axe. "That horse ain't gonna paint itself!"
Regina stood there thinking, her fingertips drumming on the edge of the table. "A toy for a woman..." she said.
"A woman who doesn't really like toys," Walter said. "Her husband does. She just smiles and pretends they make her happy."
Regina nodded, her eyes narrowing as she thought some more. "A toy for a woman who isn't made happy by the toys she's got. It has to be something unlike anything she's already got, and something that makes her happy."
"And makes her husband the king happy, as well," Robin suggested. "Since he's the one who does like toys."
Regina began to smile a slow, cat-like smile. "I think I have just the thing." She turned to Grumpy. "We're going to need some finer tools," she said. "And some batteries."
"Batteries?"
"Batteries."
"You heard the sister," Grumpy said. "Get to work!"
Four hours and forty-five minutes later, Regina watched as the queen opened her present with a quizzical look. Regina stepped forward with a smile. "Allow me?" she asked, taking the package from the queen.
"This is a special, magical...wand," Regina said. "A toy unlike any you've ever seen - or felt - before. Simply push this button," she pressed down on the button and the wand began to vibrate. "And the wand will take you to a magical realm filled with pleasures unknown."
"Pleasures?" the queen asked, with great interest.
Regina lowered her voice and leaned in. "Oh yes. Simply apply the wand anywhere you desire..."
The queen locked eyes with Regina, then her gaze dropped. She licked her lips hesitantly. "Anywhere?"
"Anywhere?" The king echoed, clearly intrigued as well.
Regina's eyes dropped, then came back up. "Anywhere."
"Did you hear that my little chu-chi face?" the king cooed.
"We're going to have such fun, my teddy bear," she responded, walking her fingers up his arm. "This is the best present you have ever given me!"
"Excellent work!" the king clapped. "Excellent!"
"I'm glad to have been of service," Regina replied. "And now, if you'll turn your attention to skies..."
The king and queen only had a split second to register that giant nets were dropping upon them, and the queen grabbed for the vibrating wand, holding it close to her as the nets pulled them up and away.
A cheer went up from the peasants as children began flooding into the room, led by Robin, invading and overtaking the guards. In a matter of moments, it was all over. The people gathered round as Regina climbed into the car, and Robin shook the mayor's hand one more time.
"How can we ever thank you," he said. "You've freed the children and given us our country back."
"I'm happy to help," Robin said. "No one should ever take children from their homes and families. It's unconscionable."
"You're a good man," the mayor said, slapping him on the back. "You won't be forgotten here, ever."
"Then perhaps I can prevail upon you to give me your character reference?" Robin asked smoothly, pulling the letter from his pocket.
"Of course!" The man called out for a quill, one was produced, and he added his bold signature below the other two. Robin thanked him again, accepted the loaf of bread the man insisted on pressing into his hands, and climbed in the passenger seat next to Regina.
"Where to?" she asked.
"Just drive," he said. "We'll figure it out later."
"Still no prize showing up for me. How do we even know it worked?"
"You're helpful, not haughty," Robin pointed out. "It worked."
Regina started the engine, and in a few moments they cleared the cheering crowd and headed for the open skies.
"That was brilliant, by the way," Robin praised.
"Never let it be said that I can't be adaptable," Regina replied. "Where do you think the others are now?"
"They could be anywhere," Robin replied. "We just have to have faith that they're taking care of each other."