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Like A Black & White Movie
EPOV
Senioritis is in full force at Wildwood High School. Teachers are constantly complaining about seniors' lack of attention in class and my days are full of explaining to those same students that there are still things that can hold them back from graduation if they aren't careful.
Of course, graduation isn't the only hot topic event on the calendar. It's the other big night that is the reason I find myself sitting in the teachers' lounge right now. Liv sits beside me, distracting me with smiles and the touch of her foot as she rubs it against my leg under the table, while Marcus speaks with the staff that will chaperone Prom. I can't help but smile back as I try to pay attention.
"Our main goal is to make sure no alcohol makes it into the building and nothing promiscuous happens under our watch. Students should not be hanging out in dark corners," Marcus says.
"Remember last year when Bella Swan and Riley Biers were caught in the corner? That's a prime example of something we don't want to happen," Mr. Banner comments, making everyone laugh.
His sarcastic remark doesn't bother me as much as it would have once upon a time. Since Bella came over and told me about her acceptance letter it has been much easier to distance myself from her. The sharp pain of heartbreak has dulled to an annoying, slight ache. It's still there, but usually only flairs up when I see her with Riley. For the most part, I'm truly happy for her.
Marcus rolls his eyes and says, "Exactly. Now, if there are no questions then that will be all. Thanks for coming"
Marcus and I exchange a few quick words as the other teachers file out of the room. I watch Liv exit with a mischievous smile on her face. I have a feeling she's up to something.
As I walk back to my office I come across a couple of students who look like they are up to no good, too. They appear to be huddled over some papers and laughing nervously. They don't notice as I walk toward them and take a closer look. I'm more than a little shocked when I realize they are looking at explicit pictures right there in the school hallway. The picture shows a woman with her arms up in the air, only her long hair hiding her breasts. The fact that the model is revealing a lot of skin is quite concerning.
Of course, when I realize I know that skin I'm even more concerned. And when I say that I know that skin, I do mean in the biblical sense. It just so happens that I've felt it under my hands and kissed it with my lips within the past week.
The girl in the pictures is Liv. She may be younger but it's definitely her and although I know it's not appropriate I can't stop thinking about just how hot she looks.
Once I can think clearly again I quickly move to snatch the picture, surprised to find there's more than one.
"Hey!" the kid yells, angry that someone has taken away his eye candy. He immediately closes his mouth and looks down at the floor when he realizes I'm not just another student messing around with him.
"My office. Now," I order before walking away. I don't have to look back to know that both of them are hot on my heels.
All I can think about on the way to my office is that I have no idea how to handle this situation.
Mrs. Cope stands as I enter the outer office. "Mrs. Cope, there are two students on their way in. Please call me when they get here."
"Of course, Mr. Cullen, and Ms. Remy is in your office right now. She said you'd be expecting her."
I nod and walk past her to my private office where Liv is waiting with a smile. Her expression fades when she sees my face though.
"What's…" she begins. Then she notices the pictures in my hand and she gestures toward them before asking, "W-what is that?"
I hold the pictures up at a better angle for her to see them briefly. "We'll talk about it, but the students I confiscated these pictures from are on their way in. I think you should go because I really don't want things to be awkward for you. I promise we'll talk later, okay?"
She closes her eyes and nods once. With a heavy sigh she opens her eyes and mumbles, "Just...just so you know those were taken when I was a freshman in college. I was only nineteen."
I nod back and place a chaste kiss on her forehead, something I don't usually do on school grounds. "It's okay. Go to your office and I'll call you when I'm done."
Liv leaves the room and almost immediately Mrs. Cope announces that the students are there. I ask her to send them in and they both walk into the room with heads bowed, whether in shame or fear, I'm not sure. The boys are seniors and their names are Aiden and Jordan. They were members of the football team and are almost always found wherever Riley happens to be.
I lean against the front of my desk and cross my arms over my chest, not sure where to start. Instead I just stare and wait for one of them to talk.
Jordan finally caves. "Mr. Cullen... I... We're sorry. Please don't keep us from graduating." Aiden elbows him with a wide eyed glare.
"First things first, Jordan. Are there any more copies?"
"Um, I'm not sure. W-we got them from a friend's computer," Jordan admits hesitantly.
"Dude!" Aiden says, throwing his hands up in frustration at his loose lipped friend. I just glance at him with a look of warning.
"Here's the thing, guys. This is extremely disrespectful and not some practical joke. Ms. Remy will get some serious heat over these pictures. Are there copies?" I ask.
"Uh… They're on the internet," Aiden offers, his head in his hands.
I pause to organize my thoughts because this just keeps getting worse. Finally, I take a deep breath before saying, "Okay, so here's how it's gonna go. I do not want to see copies of these pictures, or any like them, ever again. Spread the word." The statement only applies to the students actually. I can't wait to look at those pictures in private.
Still unsure of the best way to handle the situation, I decide I need to get a name. I don't know any other way to put a stop to this potential train wreck.
"Can either one of you tell me who's computer you found these on?" I ask, not sure what I'll do if they do give me a name. It's a moot point as they both shake their heads.
I nod and walk towards the door. "Get a note and go to class. Keep this stuff off campus," I reiterate, opening the door and allowing them to leave.
They both nod and walk off.
Once they are out the door I close myself in my office and take a seat behind my desk. I pick up one of the pictures. Although I would like to enjoy it for what it is, all I can think of are the potential problems it could cause. I'm still not sure what to do next.
UtB
It never ceases to amaze me how quickly news travels. Over the next two hours it seems like all I do is take phone calls from parents who want to know what action the school administration plans to take over these inappropriate pictures.
In between calls, Marcus drops by to confer on the situation. He thinks the best thing to do is schedule a meeting where parents can express their concerns. I ask him about any possible consequences for Liv. He doesn't believe there is a morality clause in her contract that would be grounds for termination, but he does expect the community will question her credentials and credibility.
With all the phone calls, I haven't been able to get back to Liv. I can only imagine the thoughts running through her head. By the time the calls stop, I have just enough time to go by her office before class starts.
I knock and hear her call to come in. She looks up as I enter and close the door behind myself. The worry is clear on her face. She stands up and I walk over and wrap her in a brief hug.
"This is such a nightmare," she groans into my chest.
Once I release her I reach up and brush a strand of hair behind her ear and take her hand. "It's going to be okay. I talked to Marcus and he reassured me your job is not in jeopardy. We'll figure this out."
"I wish I could believe that. Do you have any idea what it's like when something from the past comes back to bite you in the ass?"
Memories from last summer flash through my brain. No, I don't know, but that's exactly what I fear.
As the bell rings I realize I'm out of time. I quickly relay the information about the meeting and let her know that Marcus is on his way. I promise her that I'll be there for her as best I can. She understands that first and foremost, I am the vice principal so it will be hard to balance my role in this situation. It's just one of the reasons it gets messy when you mix business with pleasure.
I leave Liv's office, closing the door behind me, and catch Aiden, Riley, Jordan and Bella out of the corner of my eye. I don't try to listen in on their conversation but they're right outside of my classroom. I don't hear everything but I can tell Bella is not happy. They continue arguing and don't even realize I'm there.
"You were supposed to get rid of them, Riley, not tell these two dimwits!" Bella whisper yells, flinging her hand in the direction of Aiden and Jordan.
"I didn't tell them, they just found it. It isn't my fault that you put them on my computer." Riley responds.
Suddenly, everything makes sense and I find myself angry enough that I want to hit something. I try to stay calm because I don't want to make a scene but inside I'm seething. I can't believe Bella would do something like this.
Jordan sees me first and calls the his friends attention to their audience with a simple, "Guys..."
Bella looks up and shock registers on her face as her eyes meet mine. "Ed-...uh, Mr. Cullen..." she starts, but I just shake my head.
"All of you have five seconds to get to class," I order, walking into my classroom. I leave the door open because I know Bella will be coming in.
She walks in with her head hanging low. I slam the door behind her, causing her to jump and rush to a seat in the back of the class. I could care less that I scared her because I'm absolutely livid at this point. I can't believe she would do this to Liv, especially after our recent talk.
Once again, I have no idea what to do and I'm getting tired of that feeling. For the time being, I ignore Bella because I'm not sure how I'd react if I had to speak to her. I almost breathe a sigh of relief at the end of the period but then I remember that the day is far from over.
Bella lingers in the back of the room until everyone else leaves. Her hair falls around her face like a curtain, shielding her from my angry glare, as she places her journal on my desk. Without looking directly at me she opens her mouth to say something then shakes her head and walks out.
I reach up and run my hands through my hair. Although I'm curious about what she wanted to say I'm entirely too frustrated to stop her from leaving.
"Knock, knock," I hear from the doorway. I look up to find Marcus with Liv following close behind. He wants to discuss the events of the morning so I suggest we go back to my office as there are still students milling around.
On the way down the hall I see Riley walking with his arm around her Bella. I think back to this morning's meeting when I was able to shake off the vulgar comment about Bella and Riley in a dark corner. Seeing the two of them now wounds me more than it usually does and I feel a sharp stab to my heart.
Once in my office Marcus asks to see the photos. I'm not very happy about it but Liv says it's okay.
"Can you explain these, Ms. Remy?" he asks in a nonjudgmental tone.
"My freshman year of college a guy claiming to work for a modeling agency approached me. He said he would love to take my picture and offered to pay me. I was a struggling college student who needed the money so I figured 'why not'? I was also young, naive, and flattered. He mentioned that the pictures would be racy and I knew people would see them. I never thought about the fact that it could potentially ruin my career or cause others to question my ethics and morals," she explains, shaking her head.
The three of us discuss the situation and decide to schedule the meeting for tonight so we can put everything to rest.
I go with Liv to pick Chloe up from daycare that afternoon. She runs toward us, laughing the whole way. Liv sweeps her up into a tight hug which Chloe returns enthusiastically. I immediately notice the change in Liv's face as she holds her daughter. This is what she needs after such a rough day.
After Chloe hugs her mom she turns to reach out for me. "Hey pretty lady," I say with a smile as I take her from Liv and kiss her forehead, which makes her giggle.
"Is it okay if Edward comes over, baby?" Liv asks. Chloe nods exaggeratedly, making us both laugh.
Liv and I tend to spend most of our time together at my house so I'm still discovering things about her home. The house is small, but it suits her. The walls are a light yellow and covered with pictures. Since I'm not here often I take a moment to peruse the photos. There are pictures of Chloe by herself, of Chloe and Liv, of Liv alone, of Chloe and Lucas. There are also a lot of pictures of a guy who has the same eyes as Liv.
"That's my older brother Demetri," Liv explains as I look at his picture. "We were close…almost as close as you and Alice…but he died while I was in high school."
I turn around to look at her. "I'm sorry." She nods, and graces me with a tiny smile.
"I keep wondering what he'd say about what's been going on. He'd probably tell me that I need to learn when to give up a losing battle," she says with a laugh. "Of course, then he would probably call me a coward and an idiot for listening to him. I wish he was still here. He'd love Chloe and he would try so hard to intimidate you."
"He might have tried, but he wouldn't succeed. I'm right where I want to be," I say, and it's the truth. "I wish I could have met him because he seems important to you. Can I ask how it happened?"
She nods, and there are tears in her eyes.
"He was coming back from visiting me the day I found out I was pregnant. He was so happy, thrilled. He couldn't wait to meet her. A truck hit him, head on. He was dead instantly..." She wipes her eyes.
I pull her to me for a warm hug. Chloe comes over right then to say she is hungry. We order a pizza because Liv and I need to be back at school by six-thirty.
The babysitter comes over and Chloe asks if I'll be back because she'll miss me. I smile and tell her I'm not sure. Up until now, Liv and I haven't spent nights together unless Chloe is with her dad.
After Chloe is settled in with the sitter, Liv and I prepare to head back to the school. Liv stops by her car in the driveway. "You want to drive?" I ask, halfway to my car already.
"I think we should go separately," she states definitively. "I don't want to cause any more problems and I really don't want anyone to accuse me of getting special treatment because I am dating the vice principal. When we're in that room, as much as I would love to have my boyfriend by my side, you need to do your job and remain professional."
"Okay," I agree. I walk back over and kiss her cheek. "Everything will be fine. See you there."
On the drive to the school I contemplate what will happen at the meeting. I don't really know what to expect this evening. I'm sure parents will demand she resign or be fired, but that's not going to happen. Marcus promised there would be no repercussions. This meeting is only taking place so parents can have the opportunity to voice their concerns and so Marcus and I can address them all at once instead of having to deal with them one at a time.
Marcus greets me in the parking lot and we walk to the gym together. Once inside, Liv addresses me as Mr. Cullen and we keep things very professional.
When the meeting starts there are many questions, some of which are pretty redundant but need to be addressed to keep the community happy.
"She's supposed to be a role model for my child and help her decide what to do with her life?"
"How can we trust someone with no morals to interact with our children?"
"Does she even have a degree?"
"Are we supposed to believe this won't happen again?"
Some questions are from truly concerned parents. Others just seem to be hateful and aimed at hurting Liv. Marcus answers each and every question regardless of its intent.
Liv finally clears her throat and stands up, ready to take on the group herself. "I'm sure many of you have something in your past that you'd like to forget. Something that didn't seem like a big deal when you were young, but with age and wisdom you realize may not have been the wisest decision. The truth is, these pictures were a source of income while I was in college. They were not a secret and they weren't meant to cause any harm. I love my job, and take my role in this school very seriously. I'm also a parent and I understand how this looks to some of you. I'm truly sorry."
As she sits back down I resist the urge to hold her hand. I'm very proud of her but this is work, and she is personal. I knew from the very beginning of our relationship that it would be important to keep things separate. Now it's time to put that mindset into practice.
Liv's statement causes more questions, and everyone starts talking at once. As we try to restore order, I notice Liv suddenly tenses up. I follow her line of vision and see Bella standing at the front of the stage with a large group of students. She looks in our direction and her eyes meet mine before she speaks.
"My name is Bella Swan and I'm a student here at Wildwood High School. I don't understand why everyone is being so judgmental toward Ms. Remy. Everyone has something in their past that they'd like to forget. Anyone who says they don't is not only a hypocrite, but a liar too. I think Ms. Remy's willingness to admit to her error in judgment is a good example for us to follow. I don't think it's fair to judge her abilities based on a choice she made as a teenager. The girl in those pictures isn't here anymore.
"The Ms. Remy we all know is a wonderful role model. For the last three years she has been there for me and so many other students. Not only has she offered guidance and encouragement, but she's been there as a willing listener when we couldn't find anyone else to talk to. She's amazing at what she does. With that said, the seniors of this year want to show our support and say thank you for all your hard work."
Liv looks at me in disbelief. "Did you have anything to do with this?" she asks. I shake my head to let her know I have no idea what's going on.
I didn't think this day could throw any more curve balls at me but I guess I was wrong. At this point, I'm so confused I don't know what to think or do. Did Bella really feel guilty for her actions or did she do this because she didn't want me to be angry with her?
Eventually the meeting winds down and all of the parents leave. Liv and I go back to her house where I help put Chloe to sleep. Afterward, we fall into bed together, exhausted. I hold her as she tells me how she's so grateful for Bella and the things she said. Liv wants to thank her first thing Monday morning. I just listen quietly, fighting with myself over whether or not I should tell her that Bella was the one who started this mess.
In the end, I keep my mouth shut, not for Bella's sake, but Liv's.
UtB
After school on Monday I sit at my desk trying to work up the courage to confront Bella. No matter how much I want to I just can't do it, especially since most of the hype surrounding the questionable pictures of Liv has already died down. I'm extremely surprised, to say the least, when Bella herself knocks on the art room door and makes my decision for me.
"Can we talk?" she asks almost shyly.
"I have nothing to say to you." That may not be the most mature response but it's definitely the truth. My thoughts are all jumbled up and I don't know what I could possibly say to her.
"Okay, then let me talk and you just listen." I can't really argue with that sentiment so I just nod without looking directly at her.
"I found the pictures when I was in Forks during Christmas break. I came back with them on a disk to show Riley. I destroyed the disk but I guess somehow they were saved to Riley's computer hard drive. Regardless, I never ever meant to hurt Ms. Remy or her career...or you," she adds quietly, almost as an afterthought. "Riley accidentally mentioned the pictures to Aiden and Jordan. I don't know exactly how things progressed from there but it shouldn't have happened at all. Ultimately, it was my fault, though. It was wrong and very immature on my part."
The explanation makes sense. The damage was done before she got her acceptance letter, before she came over to thank Liv. Of course, that doesn't make the situation it any better though.
"I...just felt like you should know. I know you didn't tell her I caused the whole mess and I have no idea why. I don't deserve your kindness or loyalty."
Everything is silent for a moment. When I look up to see her face, she's already gone.
UtB
Time flies by and sooner than expected the night of Prom is upon us.
Chloe is chasing Angel around my yard in a dress because she "wanted to look pretty like momma and Eddie". I try not to cringe when she calls me that. Even though I hate that nickname it's cute coming from her, so I let it slide. Chloe eventually takes a tumble and comes over to me for some reassurance that she's okay. Chloe convinced Liv to put lipstick on her tiny mouth earlier and now she leaves kiss marks all over my face.
I'm beyond happy at this point and barely notice the camera flash from the corner of my eye. Jenny, the babysitter, came over with Liv and Chloe so she could take some pictures of the three of us together. She will take Chloe to Lucas once he gets off of work.
Liv wanted to wait until the last minute to put on her dress so it wouldn't get wrinkled. I turn as I hear her as she exits the house. All I can do is stare at her in awe. Her green dress hugs her in all the right places and her legs look so hot in her high, high-heels.
"You're sure it's not too much? Too revealing?" she asks for the fifth time.
I chuckle at her, "For the last time, no. You look absolutely amazing. Stop asking because I'm starting to think you just like to hear me tell you how beautiful you are." I smile and place a chaste kiss on her lips.
Liv cleans the lipstick marks from my face and then Jenny does her best to get a picture where all three of us are smiling and looking at the camera. It took longer than expected because Chloe was so caught up in Angel and what she was chasing around the yard. I finally put her back in the house so we wouldn't run late. Then Jenny offers to take a couple picture of us as a couple.
After the pictures Liv runs her hand suggestively over my chest. I furrow my brow in warning, causing her to laugh, "I'm sorry. I don't know how to act with you looking so tempting in that vest." She lets out a low whistle and I reach around and pinch her ass.
"Do we really have to go to this? I don't feel like making sure students act appropriately when all I really want to do is be inappropriate with you," I whisper in her ear. I've learned to be careful with my words, especially since Chloe is walking around close by in a pair of Liv's high heels.
Liv blushes and smiles slyly.
"The sooner we leave..." she trails off, raising her eyebrows suggestively. With that, we head to the Starlux Hotel, hand in hand.
BPOV
Rose is helping me get ready for Prom tonight. She has laid out the curling iron, the straightener, plenty of hairspray, and a pile of make-up the size of a small mountain. I want to wear my hair down but she convinced me it still needs to look different than I would normally wear it. She uses the curling iron, holding it in place until it's time to release my hair into long, spiral curls. Then she straightens the front, arranging my hair so it sits high on the crown of my head with tons of curls flowing down my back.
"I can't believe you are wearing this dress," she says with a chuckle as she helps me lift my hair to fasten the halter dress behind my neck. She shakes her head before she says, "Emmett is going to freak over all this skin. You sure they won't kick you out for breaking dress code?"
"They can try but I'm gonna enjoy this body while I can," I reply, looking at her in the mirror.
I notice her face fall and feel bad for just a minute. I know how self conscious she has become since she started to put on baby weight. Honestly, she looks amazing. The weight is all baby. She's not even wearing maternity clothes, just regular clothes in a larger size than she would normally wear. She hasn't even developed one stretch mark. I know she thinks she will never put on a bikini again, but the truth is, she could put one on at this very moment and still be the envy of every girl. She has the picture perfect pregnancy body.
"Don't even start, Rosalie! I do not want to hear about the fifteen pounds you have gained over your six months of pregnancy."
"Seventeen…" she corrects. I just roll my eyes at her vanity.
"Seriously, you look beautiful, Bella," she whispers sincerely as we both look at my image in the mirror.
I finger the soft, black satin of my dress and pull on one of the long ruffles that fall over my chest. At the neck line the fabric seems to crisscross around my neck. The dress isn't tight but cinches as it sits low on my hips and stops mid thigh. The back is completely open. The only part of my tattoo that's not visible is the part that sits below my hip bone. The dress even reveals the side of my breasts.
I slide on shiny peep toe black heels then open my jewelry box, searching for something that will add just the right touch.
"Hey, Emmett wants to see you now," Rose says.
"Can't he wait like five more minutes?" I ask, holding up a pair of silver earrings.
"No," she responds, taking the earrings from my hand and pulling me into the living room.
Emmett seems relieved at first glance. The true nature of the dress is very deceiving when you see it head on with its high neck and loose torso. It's a bit short but that's to be expected from me. It's not until you see it from the side that you see just how skimpy it is. I can tell the exact moment Emmett sees the whole dress, or lack thereof.
"Bella! You look amazing!" Mom gushes.
"Amazing? I can't believe you are going to a high school prom in that! You let her buy that?" Emmett blurts, turning to question our mother and waving his arm in my direction.
"She looks beautiful," Mom replies firmly to him. Then she turns back to me, and calmly says "You look beautiful," while giving me a hug.
"You have a sweater or something to wear with that?" Emmett asks, huffily.
I just laugh and tell him to shut up.
Emmett sighs in resignation and then gets a little shy, which is very un-Emmett. "Think of this as our graduation present to you," he explains quietly, handing me two small boxes.
I'm speechless for a moment as I look back and forth between Emmett and Rose. When I finally find my voice all I can think to say is, "You guys didn't have to get me anything,"
"Now you shut up and open the boxes already," Emmett says with his signature laugh.
Inside the first one is a sliver and diamond cuff bracelet. I immediately slide it on my arm and notice the beautifully intricate design and how delicate it looks on my wrist. The other box holds complimentary earrings that remind me of chandeliers. Both gifts will be perfect for tonight.
"Thank you," is all I can say, giving each of them a hug to express how I truly feel about the gifts. Emmett kisses my head and whispers he loves me.
"Hey, don't mess up my hair!" I tease. I can't stand these sappy moments. I never know what to say and if I do try to convey any serious emotions then whatever I say just ends up sounding corny and fake.
This is the first time since Christmas that I'm not wearing the necklace Riley gave me. I didn't really see any reason since the dress completely covers the area where it would hang. I slip on the new earrings and realize there's no reason to go back to my room.
Riley's mom wants everyone to meet at the Biers' house before the prom for pictures and all, so we all load up and drive over there. The rest of the group will meet Riley and me there, too. Jessica is going with Aiden and Kelsey is going with Jordan. We are all sharing the limo.
We arrive at the Biers' massive house by the bay to find the limo is already waiting. I expect to take a few pictures and be on our way. I should have known that Mrs. Biers would have other plans.
She greets me with a half-hearted hug, and kiss to the cheek. Even though she has backed off a bit things are still tense between us. "Bella!" she exclaims. "That dress…it's very…well, you look stunning!"
My only response is a fake smile and a "thank you."
Riley walks up and places a small kiss on my lips. He takes my hands and holds me at arms length in front of him. "Wow. You look…" he trails off as he looks me up and down.
"Trashy," I comment, just loud enough for him to hear. I know that's what his mother is thinking. I glance back at her as she greets my mom, Emmett, and Rose.
Riley steps up to me again. "I was thinking more along the lines of sexy or beautiful, but stunning works, too," he whispers against my ear.
I take a good look at Riley and offer him a mischievous smile. "You look…I don't know. I think you make pimps everywhere look good. You seem to have pulled off this fashion risk perfectly."
He's wearing a white suit that fits him perfectly. Even though it's not a tux, it definitely works for him. He has a light blue button down shirt under the jacket, sans tie, with the top buttons undone. He's also wearing his new Louis Vuitton Nike low top sneakers. He hardly ever wears them, but they fit with this look. The shoes are mostly white with light blue accents and blue and black laces. He even has some fancy blue silk hankie in his suit pocket.
"Is that a good thing?" he asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
"I think so," I laugh, patting down the lapel on his suit jacket.
Mrs. Biers directs us to the back yard. Apparently, the perfectly manicured front lawn isn't good enough for a few pictures.
As we round the back of the house I'm surprised to see that there's a mini party in full swing. There are a lot more people here than I expected to see.
Music is being pumped though speakers and waitresses carrying platters of wine, champagne, and fancy finger foods walk through the crowd. I don't know why I expected any less. Mrs. Biers doesn't do anything half assed.
"Who are all these people?" I whisper to Riley.
"Mom's friends. You know her; any reason to throw a party."
Caleb walks up right then and hugs me hello. "My son is one lucky guy to have such a pretty girlfriend," he says more to his golfing buddies than to me. I feel my face warm at his flattering words.
Caleb hands me a glass of champagne as he starts to make small talk. It would be rude not to accept it, right? I take the glass as he tells me how excited he is to hear about my scholarship and acceptance into art school. He mentions the extended trip to Sydney again, adding how much Riley would love for me to go with them.
"I would love to go but I'm not sure it's a good time. I'd like to spend as much time as I can with my family before I go away for school."
"Well, the offer always stands," he reiterates with a smile before excusing himself to entertain his guests.
I find Jessica and greet her with a hug before saying hello to her parents. I gush over how pretty she looks. She has on a long red dress with cut outs on the side that are highlighted by beading. Her light blond hair is done in an up-do with some fancy tiara. I am actually jealous of the tan Jess has been working on for the last month, spending five days each week at the tanning salon. I went with her a few times, so I do have some color, but Jessica looks like she does at the end of the summer.
Mrs. Biers finally has us line up and pose for pictures with the bay in the background. Even wearing five inch heels I only come up to Riley's shoulder. He stands behind me and holds me close. We take a few pics alone and a few more as a group.
"I know you aren't big on flowers, but I had to get you something," Riley explains, handing me a single white rose. He is right, too. I don't envy the corsages Jessica and Kelsey have.
As I mingle after the pictures, all the while sucking down more champagne, I notice the way Kelsey interacts with Riley during the party. Riley must be teasing her, threatening to make her eat something. I assume by the way she is backing away, that she finds it repulsive.
Riley and Kelsey have become pretty close since they performed together in the play. He says she is like a sister but I don't think she feels like he's a brother. It was Riley's idea for Jordan to ask her to Prom. I'm not jealous, mostly because this is Riley we're talking about. Any fool can see how much he loves me. I'm pretty sure any fool can see just how crazy Kelsey is over him too.
I down my fourth glass of champagne right before Riley announces that it's time to leave. I hand the glass back to Caleb with a thank you and allow my date to help me into the limo.
It's not until we get out of the limo at the hotel that I realize how buzzed I am.
"Ooopps," is all I can say when Riley has to steady me on the sidewalk.
"Don't get us thrown out before the dance even begins, Bella," he teases. "We have plenty of time to party after the prom."
"You act like I'm smuggling drinks into the building. I don't have anything on me and this is all your dad's fault. This buzz will be gone in no time." Besides, Edward would never kick me out of Prom, I think to myself.
"And don't be so sure Cullen would cover for you. I think he has a better grip on his actions around you now," Riley states.
I just look at him, a little amazed and completely annoyed. How did he know I was thinking about that and how does he know what Edward would or wouldn't do for me?
As much as I hate to admit it, part of me knows Riley speaks the truth. I've pushed Edward away and he's distanced himself enough that I know he would be the principal first and my friend second. If I want to keep that friendship and gain his respect then I need to behave. I actually wonder if he would be harder on me than the other students if he caught me. I feel like he expects more from me and I would hate to disappoint him, so I try to get my act together before we enter the building.
Riley and I walk in and the first thing we do is have our picture taken…again. This year's theme is Like a Black and White Movie. I think Riley and I look awesome against the decorations. He really wanted me to wear white since he expected to be in black. I told him that would be too expected. I didn't intend to fall in love with this black dress and I didn't think Riley would seriously get a white suit, but all in all, the effect was fantastic.
I see Edward is just inside the doors, ready to welcome everyone following their pictures. He looks gorgeous in his black vest and tie with no sign of a jacket. My reaction to his appearance makes me uneasy. I hate being this attracted to him.
Since we are some of the last to arrive, there is no crowd of people for me to hide in. I feel more exposed seeing Edward look at me than I have felt all night in my next to nothing dress. I don't think I'm the only one affected as Edward looks like he is holding his breath as Riley and I walk in.
I don't understand my feelings and begin to wonder if anyone truly does. Is this just part of being a teenager; this constant confusion, being ruled by our emotions, all of them contradictory? Does it ever get easier? I can't imagine that it does based on the way Edward looks at me, even though he has Ms. Remy.
Maybe it just becomes manageable as you get older. A little easier to accept that life doesn't always hand you exactly what you want; that your first choice may not be a reality. Is it true that sometimes you just have to take what you get and make the best of it?
Our group walks into the banquet hall and I see Ms. Remy across the room talking with Mr. Banner. He immediately points at me. She turns and her eyes scan my appearance. I see her eyes rest on my rib cage and I nervously push a nonexistent strand of hair behind my ear and focus my eyes straight ahead as Riley leads me to our table.
Since we decided to be fashionably late, the music is already playing and the dance floor is packed. The minute people realize Riley is finally at the party they start begging for the show. Riley, Aiden, and Jordan have a tradition that started with our very first dance in eighth grade. Now it's expected that the boys will break dance at every dance and everyone is excited and waiting for them to do their thing.
That thought hits me square in the chest. I suddenly realize this is our last dance. The last time the boys will do their little tradition. The last time we will all be together like this. The thought makes me sad and I feel like I might cry.
Riley asks me if everything is okay and when I tell him what I'm feeling he just laughs loudly and asks, "Really?"
I cross my arms over my chest and frown at him. "Don't laugh at me. I know it's silly but I can't help it," I whine.
"Oh, come on. We should be happy we are finally getting out of here," Riley exclaims, raising his arms to demonstrate he's not just talking about high school but also the entire area.
I can tell he is truly excited. I don't see any lingering sadness on his face as he talks about leaving all this behind. I wonder if he's scared at all. New York is big city and although he's the big man on campus here, he won't be anyone or anything special there.
"It's not so bad here, you know," I remind him. Actually, I think it's more of the feeling that I'm safe here. Here I have the excuse of being a small town high school girl whenever I do something stupid. In less than a month I won't have that anymore. Then what will I use for an excuse when I screw up?
I take a seat to people watch as the party rages around me. I quickly zone out and find myself thinking about something my dad told me recently.
"You gotta start taking responsibility for your actions, Bells. You've got a lot of growing left, but you aren't a little girl anymore."
That was the reason I changed my mind about sharing those racy pictures of Ms. Remy. Little did I know it was too late because I'd already shared them with Riley. I don't blame him though. I don't even blame Jordan or Aiden. I have no one to blame but myself.
I sit and continue to think about my time with Charlie and how easy it was to talk with him. We had an immediate connection, probably because he is so much like me. There is only one other person that understands me as well as my dad and that is Edward.
Dad asked a lot of questions about Edward, as opposed to my mother who thinks the less she knows the better. As if not knowing would change anything. I think Mom's motto is what you don't know can't hurt you. She truly does guard herself. I guess she feels that if you never acknowledge a problem, then you never have to deal with the pain that might accompany it.
Since Dad asked, and because he is so removed from the situation, I told him more about Edward than anyone else knows. I even told him about the fact that Edward is currently my teacher and school vice principal. Dad gave me some great advice and told me what I needed to hear, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear it. He agrees that I am not ready to give Edward the things he needs in a relationship. Charlie wasn't just talking about sex either. He reminded me that most serious relationships need a certain level of trust, strength, and support...things that I can't provide because I still rely on others for those things in my life.
Charlie's advice made me take a good hard look at the way I live my life, too. If Edward is right for me and it's just the wrong time for us to be together, then did my choice to go to that bar...to break that rule...change the original plan that fate had for us? Is this mess the price I have to pay now?
Seriously, I'm about to move to Chicago...Edward should be in Chicago. Maybe if I hadn't broken that rule I would have met Edward at the right time and all this turmoil would have been avoided. Of course, I don't know if art school in Chicago would even be a possibility if it weren't for him. I can rehash the details until I am blue in the face, but I remind myself that there are questions in life I will never know the answers to, reasons I will never understand, and I just let it go.
Riley startles me out of my thoughts and pulls me onto the dance floor. "Come dance with me, Bell. We're supposed to be having fun and you're being way too quiet. Stop thinking so much and just…feel," he says as he pulls me close to his body.
I try to take his advice, lose myself in the music, and just dance with him. Dancing might not be the best description of what I was doing though as it is mostly grinding. We continue our dance with me slowly sinking down his side then his leg, as low as I can go, before wiggling my body back up. Riley shakes his head at me with a broad smile right before I feel a tap on my shoulder. I glance over my shoulder to see Edward.
"Miss Swan, I need to speak with you." He holds his arm out to direct me toward the doors leading out of the hall. I excuse myself from Riley and encourage him to stay with the rest of the group and enjoy the dance.
Edward leads me outside to the area where the picture backdrop hung earlier this evening before he begins to speak. "The school has a dress code. Since this is a school sanctioned event that dress code has to be followed," he states.
"Okay. Can you tell me exactly what part of my dress breaks the dress code?" I ask him, feigning innocence. I've read up on the dress code and I'm prepared for this moment. I love a challenge.
"Bella...you can see half of your breasts," he whispers in frustration.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen but I don't recall reading anything in the handbook about backless dresses. I remember spaghetti straps, and there are a lot of those here tonight. Um, there was exposing your mid-drift" I mock, ticking off the rules on my fingers before I continue. "I'm pretty sure I've seen some of that due to those dresses with the decorative cutouts. Oh, and let's not even pretend that anyone tries to enforce the shorts-as-long-as-your-fingertip rule."
"Would you be this mouthy to anyone else?" he asks. From the tone of his voice I'm not sure if he is amused or annoyed.
"Yes, sir," I reply with a deadpan expression. Now I'm sure he is fighting a smile so I figure it's safe to go on.
"Don't let Mr. Banner bully you into his way of thinking. I know he is the one that's complaining about my dress. He is always complaining about me. I'm not sure if it's because I aced his stupid class without cracking open the textbook or if he just dislikes my personality," I rant.
"I have to do something. Everyone talks about how I give you special treatment. They imply that you're my favorite student, the teacher's pet...even other teachers." Edward stresses his words to hint that other teachers would be Mr. Banner.
"So show them it's not like, but do it the right way. Picking me out of a crowd of offenders only shows them that you are trying to prove something. Right now all you're proving is that what they think is true. Either make all the dress code violators go home or look the other way for tonight. Otherwise all you're doing is proving that you do favor me. Of course, how could you not," I joke, placing my hand on my hip to exaggerate how great I think I am. The truth of the matter is that I don't think very highly of myself most of the time.
He shakes his head, with that smirk I know too well. "I don't know what I'm doing here," he finally says, throwing his hand up and sighing in exasperation.
"Learning?" I question.
"That goes without saying. I'm actually kind of tired of the never ending life lessons constantly being shoved in my face," he admits.
His comment brings me back to my earlier thoughts about acceptance. I sit down on a nearby bench and voice my thoughts. "Can I ask you something, Mr. Cullen?"
"You know you can ask me anything," he replies, as he sits down next to me. His body is close, but not too close.
I watch the floor, twisting my feet anxiously as I whisper, "How does a person accept things for what they are?" When I finish the question I look up and to the left to see his face.
This is the abbreviated question. What I really what to ask is more like…how do I accept what I know is right even when it doesn't feel that way? How do I accept Riley as enough? I want to know how Edward can accept Ms. Remy. How does he live knowing there is something better out there, something that might end up being lost along the way?
Amazingly, I think he sees all those underlying questions in my eyes because he purses his lips together and sucks in a deep breath before speaking. "My mom had a certain phrase that she used with me from a very young age. She was like a mountain, never moving once she made her decision. When she said no, she meant no. She always stood by her decisions, and that can be hard when dealing with kids who want their way and don't even consider 'no' an option. It's not an easy lesson to teach either. I'm not sure how she stayed so strong with all the sad faces and guilt trips we tried to pull on her."
"So, what was that phrase?" I'm curious, but I also want to know more and I'm jealous of the wisdom and boundaries Edward had growing up. Those helped make him the wonderful man he is today.
"If you don't like the way something is, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Then she would add, almost as an afterthought," he switches to a mock feminine voice before he continues, "And this, sweetie, is something you can't change so stop beating a dead horse."
I chuckle at his poor impersonation, but stop to ask, "So, is that how you stay with her? You change the way you think about it?"
He looks away and won't answer, probably because my question is too personal. I've crossed a couple lines tonight and I quickly remind myself that I'm just a student and I don't have the right to ask my vice principal these things about his love life.
"Sorry," I mumble. I stop to really think about what he just said and something pops out at me. "Wait. If your mom's right then how do you know when you should fight for what you want?"
He looks at me with obvious confusion on his face, so I explain further. "I mean, nothing you want to change ever comes without a fight, so what happens to your life if all you do is constantly give up, thinking nothing can be changed?"
With a heavy sigh he says, "You know when something is worth fighting for. You have to consider many things before you go to battle. Timing is hugely important. Isn't that why we aren't fighting? Don't we think one or both of us would lose too much in the long run?" I nod in agreement. "So that's when I changed the way I thought about it, about you. Being together isn't the answer. Standing still and ignoring life isn't the answer. Moving forward happily with what each of us does have is all we can do right now. I don't know what the future holds for you or me. If I did, it might make all this a lot less confusing."
Edward stops, almost as if he's trying to decide if he should share something else. He finally says, "I ask myself everyday if I am leading her on, being unfair to her...and to her daughter."
I'm surprised by the anguish I hear in his voice. I'm afraid he will regret sharing this information with me so I try to interrupt. "Edward, you don't…" I utter, but he just keeps talking.
"I'm too scared of standing still, even if that means I end up hurting other people in the end," he finishes breathily.
I scoot toward him on the bench so our legs are touching. I reach for his hand to offer what comfort I can. I don't think I have ever seen him this open about such raw feelings.
"If it's not making you happy you shouldn't force it. It's okay to be alone."
"She does make me happy," he admits. "But there is still this little voice telling me I'm being a selfish ass."
I decide to dig deeper. "Why do you equate standing alone to standing still?"
He reaches up with his free hand to pull at his hair and I feel the opposite hand squeeze mine as he stumbles through an explanation. "Because, if I did lose you completely… and if I let Liv go…and if you and I never work out, then what? I look for the third best thing and try to live my life around that?"
"If that's the case, if we get nothing else besides those three months..." He trails off and it saddens me to think that might be all there is for us. It's a reality Edward has to consider thought. It would be immature of him to not contemplate a future without me. Waiting and hoping would rob him of his life.
"Plus..." he chokes out. I know he is struggling with whether or not to share this thought with me, but when our eyes lock, I know he will. "The only way I win…the absolute only chance I have at happiness...is to make sure you let go and really grow up, whatever the cost of that may be. No holding back."
I'm floored by his honesty, but before I have a chance to absorb everything he said, much less comment, the banquet hall door opens. I quickly release Edward's hand and move to the other side of the bench. His words continue to play in my mind and I want to know exactly what he means. I can't ask for clarification because we have company, but even if we didn't, I can tell that in his mind he already said too much. It feels like we're playing a game of poker and he almost gave away his hand.
Mr. Banner's voice breaks the silence. "Everything okay out here?"
"Actually, I was just trying to figure out the best possible way to ruin the Senior Prom," Edward says as he stands up, puts his hands in his pockets, and turns toward Mr. Banner with a winning smile on his face. "Miss Swan isn't my favorite student for nothing, you see. She is incredibly smart, a quick thinker, and extremely resilient. Just when everyone thinks she's down and out, she bounces back stronger than ever."
Edward smiles down at me and I beg him to stop with my eyes. He is digging his own grave.
"I don't think I understand what you mean, Mr. Cullen." Mr. Banner crosses his arms defensively and Edward mimics his posture.
"Bella is breaking dress code, but so are half the girls in that room tonight. If you'd like to help me write up detention slips for seventy girls, give or take, and make sure we thoroughly destroy the last memories they have of their high school years, just let me know. I mean, why not reinforce that Wildwood really is the horrible place they claim it is. Or…we could look the other way for the night. We could start treating them more like the adults we claim we are sending out into the real world and less like immature children that can't make any choices for themselves."
Mr. Banners face has gone from expressionless, to shocked, to furious. "Rules are rules, Mr. Cullen. They are made for a reason and meant to be followed. As teachers, it's our job to make sure students follow the rules," he spits out.
"No, it is our job to teach them," Edward contradicts. "More than rules, more than math, more than history, it is our job to teach our students that the world is full of grey areas and that every rule has an exception. We need to help them understand when something is worth fighting for and when they need to accept that things won't always go their way. We should be showing these young adults…yes I said it…not teenagers or kids or children but young adults, about compromise and that there are people out in the world that aren't going to think like them, or agree with them, or have the same values as them. They should know that sometimes it's important to be the mountain. Sometimes you might have to fight and climb for what you want and sometimes it's okay to let things go. Not every battle is worth the war."
I'm sure my expression shows shock now too, but I'm both proud and touched by Edward's words.
Once he's finished, Edward turns to me. "Go back in and enjoy your night, Bella. There is no reason to make a mountain out of this mole hill."
He turns his attention back to Mr. Banner. They are still locked in a staring contest as I head toward the doors. I only glance back once to give Edward a grateful smile before going back inside.
All lemons in regular chapter will not be graphic, Outtakes, will be. We understand that it may be hard to handle. With that being said, we don't consider ten sentences a lemon or graphic. All we wanted was to show the differences between Edward and Bella, Edward and Liv.
It isn't the same as innocent love...