((AN: Didn't think you'd see me again so soon eh? I like to keep you all on your toes. I get SUPER excited when I think of all my fans crapping their pants with surprise at a new chapter coming up every now and again. I must say though, I was horrified to read that in a role-playing conversation with my friends, there are people who NOVELLA role-plays. This means to say that they write their reply posts LONGER then this story is all together. Can you IMAGINE? Forty THOUSAND words to read through on a SINGLE reply? I honestly can't… It has taken me damn near eight months to write this in itself. I don't have that much imagination. I can't. The very idea that people would find this style of role-playing pleasant in the slightest baffles me. Once again, blathering SORRY. I knew it would be cruel to leave you on that note. Cliff hangers piss me off too, so without further hesitance, the twenty first chapter of Confessions.))
Confessions
Chapter 21
The ride to the Muggle Hospital had been anything but pleasant, with Ginerva's increasing contractions and the two paramedic's hovering over her it was hard to get in a word edgewise. Despite being fairly easy going in the beginning, Ginny became more and more distressed as they roared through traffic, red lights flashing. Her worries about Harry not being there, and her Medi-Witch not delivering James caused her heart rate to race through the roof. Hermione knew this fact simply because of the monitoring beeping in succession with her frenzied beats. Despite the soothing rubbing of Hermione's thumb over the red heads knuckles, it helped momentarily until the fetal monitor strapped haphazardly to her belly began to flash with distress.
"W-what is that? Why is it beeping like that?" Ginny asked one of the medics who was sitting by Hermione; the black haired female frowned slightly and began recording the vitals on a pad of paper nearby, watching the monitor flicker for an instance before speaking. "It just looks like the baby is having a bit of trouble. Don't worry though; this usually happens when their Mum's get so nervous." She kept her tone light, through her eyes spoke differently as she watched Ginny's face. Hermione was quiet but she could tell something was wrong despite the woman's reply. It didn't help Ginny in the slightest either, and she seemed even more nervous now.
The woman drew out a blood pressure band and wrapped it harmlessly around the top of Ginny's left arm. As it expanded and showed what her blood pressure was, she frowned even deeper, her lip catching between her teeth now as she scowled at the illuminated screen. She was faced away from Ginny but Hermione saw it all, and she tapped the woman's shoulder. "What's wrong with Ginny?"
"Her blood pressure is a little high… I think that's what is affecting the baby…" Her voice was low before she looked to Ginny who was breathing her way through another contraction while they spoke. The woman held her hands for the slightest of moments and looked her over seriously. "Did you have any problems with your blood pressure during your pregnancy Mrs. Potter?"
Ginny looked about confused for an instance but slowly nodded, "The doctor said that I had what mug-…" She stopped herself and feigned coughing for an instance, regretting it as a heated ripple of agony ran through her once more. She fought back a grin despite and shot it at Hermione who shook her head with mock exhaustion. Even while in a serious predicament she knew how to get a smile on Hermione's face, she did so without trying and squeezed her best friends hand with thanks. "My doctor told me that I may have a condition called, Preeclampsia. H-high Blood pressure I think?"
The paramedic nodded slightly a tad confused by the near use of the word 'muggle'. She pressed against the monitor, turning it towards her patient with a grim look. "Every time your contractions occur, your blood pressure shoots through the roof… And when this happens the babies heart beat drops bellow 30 beats per minute. It's concerning me, and I'm afraid if this pattern continues we will have to wheel you immediately into the ER for a Caesarean."
Hermione swallowed as Ginny squeezed her hand tighter, she looked into the red head's confused hazel eyes. The question bright in her eyes 'What is this muggle term, Caesarean?,' Hermione interjected and questioned the medic, knowing full well what a Caesarean was, but instead playing the fool to get an answer that would satisfy Ginny. "Can you explain what that is? I'm sorry I'm not familiar with the term."
The paramedic nodded, and winced at the ambulance swerved ever so slightly, hitting a bump on the road and jostling the bunch of them about for a moment. The medic gripped the seat she sat on, not wearing a safety belt as she moved about. "A caesarean is a procedure in which the baby is surgically removed via an incision in the abdomen." The woman spoke calmly despite the angry jostling of the ambulance they rode in. Her face was stoically gazing towards the beeping monitors signaling Ginny's panic which grew with every passing moment. Her fingers tightened around Hermione's to a near vice grip and she closed her panicked eyes to puff through the contraction as dictated by the Paramedic.
It was another few minutes of silence, going through mid afternoon traffic before reaching the hospital. It truly was a blur as from no where Hermione was enveloped in the arms of Traci and Ron. The travelled through the hospital wings directly behind Ginny as she was transferred to another bed and immediately placed in her own room. Everything happened so quickly Hermione had begun to feel anxious and a tad dizzy. When confronted about her paleness by one of the nurses she shook her worries off and proceeded to push Traci about in the wheelchair the girl had demanded. Hermione had taken over for Ron as he was left flabbergasted in the moments of arrival. From Ginny's bed transfer to signing her in to the hospital directory it took very little time for the terms and regulations to leave Ron confused and angry.
"What do you MEAN she's going into her own delivery room?" Ron had demanded though the question was obvious. Hermione had had to tug the nurse away and pull some kind of lie from her ass for his overly defensive behavior to make sense to her. She went with a simple lie, saying that they had belonged in an Amish Community and brought up with home remedies and all this was very confusing to them. Hermione had crossed her fingers as the nurse seemed to consider her story. With a shake of her head she accepted it and waved her hand in the direction Ginny had been wheeled with Ron and Traci in tow.
By the time Hermione arrived into the delivery room, Ginny was propped up in bed with all levels of machinery and wires tied up to her. A plethora of nurses were seated around the hospital bed examining Ginny's belly and pulse as well as huddling about a heart monitor and watching the babies reaction to the contractions it was put to. Their faces were grim as two nurses sat about Ginny and adjusted her to and fro in the bed. The tried breathing though nothing seemed to ease the baby's distress from deep within the womb.
Hermione sat near Ginny somehow reaching through the crowd and gripping her best friends hand. The girl clamped down through the contraction, the vice grip causing Hermione to wince and gently draw her thumb over the tortured girls knuckles. This simple motion reminded her briefly of an evening between herself and Severus, where she was experiencing minor pain of some kind and he offered her his hand to squeeze. The rubbing of her thumbs graduated to Ginerva now as she experienced the worst pain imaginable.
"Well, someone is going to have to tell Harry that Ginny is in labor." Ron spoke for the first time in a calm tone, his eye carefully placed on his sister as they sat.
"Shit." Hermione cursed, looking over in apology to the nurse who seemed to busy bustling out the door to notice. "I completely forgot about Harry… He's at work, it will be impossible to catch him."
Ginny winced and looked about at the small gathered crowd by her feet. "I think that if you contacted Mum, she could contact Dad. You can't apparate in and out of the Ministry… The security of late is too high. But I think-…" she had to stop as another pang rippled through her. Traci raised her wand hand up offering silently some kind of relief but was met with a deathly glare from Ginny, thusly pushing the wand downward. A moment passed, as she leaned back and exhaled a low breath before continuing. "Get Mum, she'll get Dad. Dad'll get Harry. Just do it, please and thankyou." The order was curt and to the point, drawing a smile over Ron's face.
"You sound more and more like Mum everyday."
"Shut up Ron." Hermione chuckled, reaching up to smooth a strand of hair over Ginny's brow. "One of us will find Harry… I know he wanted to be here more then anything." The machines beeped behind her as she looked down to Ginny, lying back with sweat growing over her brow and dampening the signature Weasley red she bore.
"Harry isn't here. But you are a good substitute in the meantime." Ginny squeezed her best friends hand tightly in hers, almost in a reassuring way. Her eyes looked tired, already from the pains that the labor was making her endure. That didn't mean that she was going down without a fight, it wasn't her style to simply flop back and allow medication (be that muggle or magical) to do its job over her body. She viewed birth as a process she had to endure and fight through, she had made it through far worse and wasn't about to give up. The steely determination grew in her gaze and Hermione smiled.
"I think you are doing wonderfully Ginny…" She looked up to Ron and Tracie, "You both need to go and get Harry now… The doctors mentioned something about a Caesarean. If that ends up having to go through, you will not have much time to get Harry here at all. So get up and go." Her frown grew up through her features and darkened her expression. She had not wanted such a thing to happen, and she being brought up in the muggle world knew that complications with healing and the like from natural labor were extensive. How would someone living on the opposite side of the fence deal with the same issue but having it be more detrimental then Hermione had ever dreamed.
Ron and Tracie nodded and retreated from the room to go about their business. Almost on cue a nurse entered the room and checked up on Ginny's IV fluid, replacing the bag and checking over the contraction 'log' as it were, pushing free from the machine at Ginny's right.
"How're you feeling Mrs. Potter? Do you want some kind of pain relief?" The nurse kindly asked, a Scottish accent tugging over each word as she spoke, though not looking to her patient as she worked and noted on some kind of tablet.
"I think, I might be ready in a little while, yes…" Ginny whispered, feeling a fresh contraction beginning to grow and wash over her. The nurse headed over and pressed her palm to Ginny's forehead, frowning ever so slightly, before bending down and trying to look the girl in the eye.
"Alright darling, I'm going to give it to you straight now. I am not thinking that that baby is going to handle this labor much longer." Her voice was low as she looked both girls over, "I think I'm going to go ahead and call for a Caesarean Section… This means we are going to give you a saddle block, which is like an epidural but the medicine is pushed into your spinal fluid." She was very matter of fact and explained the basics of the procedure to Ginny who nodded accordingly, raising her hand to halt the nurse once or twice to breathe her way through a contraction. As the nurse finished she handed Ginny a series of papers to sign. Ginny signed accordingly, growing more and more impatient at the fact Harry wasn't there at that moment.
Hermione felt worse then ever and ever so slightly out of place. She felt that she needed Severus more then ever. His presence was soothing, and in this situation felt like it was steadily spinning out of control for her. She looked into Ginny's face as the nurse tried to soothe her fears with statistics, but it never seemed to work. The worry dotting behind Ginny's eyes peeled over the determination as she paled and was left alone to their thoughts by the retreating nurses back. She looked to Hermione and sighed, "This is all happening so fast… I had the perfect vision in my head, but it isn't coming out as I expected at all." She looked distraught momentarily and completely lost, leaning back in the bed, trying to adjust to get comfortable.
"We both know that nothing goes right when it's attached to Harry Potter… Always late, getting into trouble, calling up all levels of nonsense… It just runs in the blood." Hermione was very serious, but it got Ginny smiling.
"I suppose you are right. He wouldn't want me to be upset about this… He will want me strong for the baby. And as long as James is born healthy and happy, there isn't anything I should be worried about."
"Atta girl." Hermione replies leaning down to embrace her friend as several nurses came bustling in. They worked in a pack, one grabbing the monitor, the other grabbing the IV stand. Two worked together to pull the bed up and allow it to wheel out of the room. Hermione was forced to release her hold on Ginny's hand as the nurses headed into the ER. It was all happening faster then Hermione could have imagined and she feared for the future, gripping her belly accordingly in an almost protective motion. She wanted the labor to be relaxing, and calm, rather then this being dragged from one room to another and having people in all level of fields poking and prodding her body. She followed in hot pursuit Ginny was wheeled through the doors to the ER before she was stopped by a gowned nurse.
"We have to prepare her for the surgery Miss. In the meantime I'm going to have you wait here and when its time for the Caesarean to BEGIN we will come and get you all suited up." The familiar Scottish nurse arrived, and halted Hermione as she appeared in scrubs and a mask. Hermione went to protest but knew it was fruitless, Ginny was a big girl and though she was frightened she had to take what was happening like a champ.
As the nurse disappeared through a secondary door to the room, it began the long wait for the process to begin. She leaned up against a nearby wall before eyeing about to see where a water fountain was, should she grow thirsty through the wait. She had been on her feet for an awfully long time, body protesting her overuse and growing impatient with a near whine of her aching feet in the silence. She leaned to the wall and closed her eyes, taking a moment to rest in the hectic atmosphere. Her thoughts were interrupted by a series of nurses walking by with an incubator containing two tiny bundles. The bundles had a series of IV's and tubes sticking about and from the blanket causing them to appear more like cocoons than actual newborns. Her heart rang with anxiety as she watched a man who looked exhausted walk along with the nurses as they headed to the NICU and disappeared behind closed doors. This moment left her humbled and silent as she continued to stare at the closed door as if it would grant her access to look at the tiny muggle newborns hanging onto life.
"You always manage to find yourself in the most odd of places." A familiar sultry voice called out from behind her, whirling around she faced none other the Severus Snape in his tall, dark glory. She had never been happier to see him in her life, and made it known by throwing herself into his arms and burying her face into his lapel. She held him tightly, breathing his scent in deeply, and thinking back to her bitchiness of the morning and looking shame facedly downwards. "I'm so sorry for this morning Severus…"
He scoffed and wrapped her momentarily in his embrace, daring to connect his lips to her hair, "Don't apologize… I signed up for the nonsense of pregnancy when I moved in with you. It seems foolish to blame you for something you can't control normally, let alone during pregnancy." He spoke standoffishly but truthfully holding her in his arms now made up for the anxiety of returning to her home and finding a note and the house a mess. He stroked her hair, breathing in her intoxicating scent before pulling back and looking her over. "Why on earth are you crying?"
She herself didn't know, the tears of relief for his presence streaking down her cheeks without her knowledge. "Just happy to see a familiar face right now I suppose. Maybe I'm just happy to see you." She dug the toe of her shoe into the floor, before he reached forward and gently pressed his index finger beneath her chin lifting it up to gaze into her eyes with a heart melting intensity, "Are you alright? I was worried about your well being." His gaze never wavering from hers as she began to flush a steady crimson; she looked away and caught the tender plush of her lower lip between her teeth. "I'm fine." She stuttered shocked by his tenderness, eyes turning back upwards to look to his for a moment in the silence. He was so delightfully awkward, standing before her, gripping her chin with one hand, the other hand squeezing her shoulder in an almost possessive way.
The nurse came forward, banging the door open with her backside as she cocked her head and held her hands out before her washed and prepped ready for the surgery. "Are you ready dear?" The voice was kindly and Hermione nodded vigorously, she couldn't see the smile behind the paper mask the woman bore, but she sounded as if a grin was plastered over her rosy cheeks. "Alright, one of the interns will be out with your scrubs in a moment, in the meantime prepare yourself. We don't want you passing out on us while mid-operation alright?" The look on Hermione's face said it all as she cocked her head and nodded, "And yes Mrs. Potter is doing alright, just a little nauseous from the medicine."
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief as a young, blonde intern wearing lavender scrubs came bearing a folded set of paper attire for Hermione to wear which included a cap and mask. The gaudy blue was unmistakable and she nodded accordingly and was pointed in the direction of the changing room, but not before she heard the hurried patter of several voices as none other then tardy Harry Potter in the flesh came bounding around the corner, with his hair sticking up in all directions and glasses falling down his nose.
"I haven't missed it have I?" He gasped out desperately, resting his hands on his knees as he looked defeated, breathing hard and desperately trying to catch his breath.
"No, I was just about to go in…" Hermione replied, looking relatively shell shocked he had arrived in the nick of time. But then again, it was true to his style. She handed him the pile of scrubs, as Ron, Tracie, Molly and Arthur Weasley joined the fray. Harry nabbed the wear and rushed towards the changing room.
"Just in the nick of time eh?" Ron joked, patting Hermione on the back, Severus seemingly forgotten in the background as Molly and Arthur stood wringing their hands just outside the door. The all looked horribly out of place, as even now the Amish excuse didn't seem viable as several nurses walked by with their eyebrows up, scrutinizing their robed garb.
"I suppose so yes. It took you two damn long enough." She scoffed, pulling free from his touch and retreating to Snape's side. "Thank goodness you found him though… I didn't know what I was going to do if I had to be the one in there with her…"
Harry returned from the bathroom, with his messy hair up in the cap, and his clothing covered. His glasses and scar poking out from the blue haze as he eagerly rubbed his hands together. "A-Alright… To the O.R to have this baby then." His worry was thick in his voice as he went to go towards the door before he stopped to Hermione and looked knowingly to her. "Thank-you very much for sticking by her side; this wasn't where we anticipated James to arrive, but none the less, I'm here now, and you've proven your friendship to us both in more ways then you can imagine. Thank-you so much." He didn't touch her, but was guided into the O.R, doors closing behind him as he retreated leaving the crowd in the hallway near the waiting room.
The all went slowly to the waiting chairs, sitting down impatiently to hear news of the only female Weasley child's first born. Severus remained standoffish and quiet beside Hermione and stoically awaiting news beside her. No one oddly questioned his placement, all but Ron who caught his eye several times and gave him a 'what in the bloody hell are you doing here' kind of look. Tracie and Ron busied themselves with pamphlets about birth in the muggle world in the opposite side of the waiting area while Molly and Arthur spoke quietly to one another despite Arthur's obvious excitement of the surroundings.
"Muggle Medical Science; It's near prehistoric and absolutely fascinating… we are surrounded by so much culture and knowledge that I'm getting twitchy. I can't wait to hear about what things Ginny is experiencing as we speak…" He sounded giddy as he shifted in his chair to and fro to examine his surroundings like a child in a candy store.
"Really Arthur," Molly frowned, tugging her massive purse onto her lap and pulling out a hanky for later on out from the deep crevasse of the bag, the seemed to go on forever. "We are here for Ginny. Can you not put aside your muggle obsession for a single afternoon while you wait your GRAND CHILD?" She scolded him accordingly, gaining several looks from passerby as she waved her finger in his direction.
Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her legs and backside screaming with protest from their overuse during the day. She winced and ran her hands down her thighs, a low hiss pressing from her lips as she massaged the sore flesh. Severus looked down to her thoughtfully. He leaned into her shoulder, whispering to her ear, "You will be taking a bath when you get home. I don't want to hear protests, you've already strained yourself more then I would like today."
She looked up to him with a low sigh, but nodded. It was true she had been on her feet and dealt with a great level of stress throughout the day. This was not something she was truly comfortable having to deal with, and the sheer anxiety she had subjected herself to was drawing more anxiety forward to her psyche, worrying her even more… It didn't help the situation in the slightest.
His hand was resting at his side, and she snuck her fingers up and through his, hiding them beneath the weight of his robes. She squeezed the appendage tightly, signaling her worry. He shifted with surprise, not looking her over but tightening his grip on her hand as well. She felt her cheeks flare with color as she looked downward, longing to lean into him, but settling to pressing her thigh to his.
How long would they have to put up this ruse, if not a ruse but how long until someone would find out about her pregnancy? Was it going to take her disappearing into the temporary nothing and having the babies without anyone knowing for her anxieties to shift? She had to say something about the relationship she had with Severus at some point. Ginny and Harry knew, and were true to their word about saying nothing. But how on earth was she supposed to keep herself silent and even possibly THIN enough to hide the obvious. Even now, with her hands folded over her chest she couldn't keep it at bay. The obvious tell tale bump of infidelity was growing and soon she wouldn't be able to hide it from the eyes of the world. Would she keep the paternity a secret? If so how long would it be before the inevitable happened and the world found out? The nonsense was more then she could bear to think about, considering the current circumstances.
They waited for what felt like an eternity before from around the corner, Harry walked out of the ER holding a tight bundle of white. He looked physically drained, his face pale, and eyes sunken in with tears of joy. The tears extended beneath the mist of his glasses as he slowly walked forward clutching the bundle to his chest. A nurse rested her hand gently on his lower back, coaxing him forward as he walked with a swell of pride riding over his chest.
Tracie and Molly were the first to rise and congratulate Harry, closely followed by Arthur and Ron who clapped their arm over Harry's shoulder. Despite the flow of tears down his cheeks Harry managed to retain some clarity and thanked everyone for coming close. He walked to Hermione and bent slightly, he placed the bundle into her unsuspecting arms. Severus looked down at her in awe as she was the first to be able to hold the first of the many hopeful Potter brood. He noticed the child had the same tint of eyes as Harry's late mother and a tug at his heartstrings made his recluse, rising slightly to his feet and walking towards the window away in his thoughts.
Hermione held the baby to her chest, a maternal protection growing over her features as she gripped the young one close. She looked into the tightly bunched Eskimo cheeks poking from the blanket. James Potter was finally here, long awaited and wanted by the whole family, and now resting safely in her arms. She looked up to Harry, her eyes already reddened today by tears aided in the fresh torrent to cascade downward. "Oh Harry… He looks JUST like you…" she breathed placing the boy back in his father's arms. The nurse came close to Harry as he was showing the rest of the group his newborn son reminding him to bring his son to the nursery, which he duly did a few moments later.
The attention was shifted to Ginny who was still in the O.R being stitched from the surgery. They would bring her to recovery in an hour, so she could spend time with her visitors as well as her son. The entirety of the Weasley family made its way towards the nursery window to gaze that the new member with widened eyes. Though she tried to rise, the relief overwhelming Hermione exhausted her. Although she was worried now for the recovery of her friend, she knew that not only would the nurses here do their best; but when Ginny was released back to the magical side, it would surely be attended to by the medi-witches that overlooked her pregnancy.
Severus made his way back to her side from the window he had brooded before, sitting gracefully next to her and looking her over. "Are you alright?" He asked, granting her his hand again. He looked her over with onyx eyes filled with ever increasing concern. She smiled up to him, resting her fingers over the bridge of his hand and looking up into the intense pools gazing at her. "Just a bit tired … I think its time we headed home."
She looked to the family happily cooing to the glass, kindred to several couples crowded about and for an instant, they didn't look so different. Apart from their appearance all the families looked alike, same expressions and joys written clear over their features. It appeared at even through cultural differences, everyone comes together when it come to a new baby. She smiled, and leant back, catching the attention of the familiar Scottish nurse leaving the O.R. "How is she doing?" she asked, fighting herself to get up from her spot and succeeding, though stumbling ever so slightly.
"Yes she is doing just fine. Operation went well and we think that the baby is going to be fine once he's gotten a little bit of suctioning done by one of the night nurses." The nurse walked by, signaling the end of the conversation faster then Hermione would have liked. She didn't complain nor fuss at this fact instead taking a shuddering step forwards. Severus grabbed hold of her arm and motioned to the outdoors, noting the darkness hanging in the sky. Lord knew how much time had passed in the time that they had been in the hospital. It had felt like days to Hermione despite the speed of which James was born… she just wanted to go home and rest in her own bed, under Snape's watchful eye.
She ran her hand up to brush through her hair and an exhausted motion. She walked to the nursery window with Severus in tow, noting Tracie pressed tightly to the window and cooing over the multitude of bundles wriggling and wailing in their cots. Hermione pulled up to Harry, gently resting her hand on his lower back in a simplistic notion of comfort. As much as she truly wanted to stay and check on the baby, she would only wait until Ginny was ready for guests, before leaving.
"God, I can't believe that he's actually here." Harry breathed, his voice clouding up the glass before him, his own glasses misted over and now resting in his hands as he wiped aside tears of happiness from his stained cheeks. "I never thought she and I would get to this point." He looked to the ground, almost as if nothing in the world existed but him and the bundle being attended to in the NICU.
"Ginny did really well. I'm really happy you made it on time."
"So am I… you should have seen her face when I entered instead of you…"
Hermione's face split into a grin, her eyes pointing down ever so slightly with growing embarrassment. "I'm just damn happy you made it. I don't think she would have forgiven you if you missed it."
"I don't think I would have forgiven myself." He replied, earnestly, his face growing ever graver. "Thank-you again for being there for her when I couldn't; you truly are one of the best friends a person could have." His hands drove up to run through the mess of his hair, standing up on all levels from the hectic day he had had.
Hermione looked to the ground in an almost bashful way, "It's what friends do. Besides, I don't need your gratitude, I would have expected you to do the same for Seve-…" she stopped herself and Harry's eyes widened ever so slightly as she continued her downward stare.
"Right," He murmured softly, looking on into the nursery, trying to forget what he had heard. His eyes steamed up again and he had to glance down into his hand to rest his index finger and thumb against the bridge of his nose. The emotion was to much, and with a sympathetic rest of her hand against his shoulder Hermione pulled one of her best friends close and watched as his son was wrapped, weighed and rested in his incubator again.
((AN: I know that this chapter is late. But I thought what the hay? Its Christmas and my fan base deserved a gift. So thank you everyone for sticking for nearly a year with this story. I have made a New Years Resolution to write ONE HUNDRED FANFICTION'S… Lord give me strength for 2013. I really look forward to the coming year. I will have something to overwhelm my time when I'm not roleplaying or writing up thoughtful articles on my tumblr.))