Link finally left the stump when he notice an ache in his legs from sitting still for so long. He relieved himself, rinsed his hands in the brook downstream from where Epona took a drink, then he climbed back up. Epona turned towards the castle, but Link shook his head and turned her away.
"No." She snorted and tried to fight him, just a little, but it was no use. He turned her away from the castle, deeper into the woods. He'd slept, and the dreams were awful.
He'd been chasing Verla up a flight of steps, trying to get something from her… Mikal? Was she going to hurt him? He couldn't believe that, but in the dream he had to catch her, it was urgent, and she was always just out of his grasp. He got to the top of the stairs, where she'd disappeared, and there was a heavy wooden door. He tugged at the handle, cursing, then pounded on the door.
"Let me in!"
But nothing. No response from the other side of the door. He started to pound on it, to throw himself into the door with his shoulder, and it splintered and crumbled under him. But when he got in the room there was only Zelda laying there, holding a dagger in her stomach, blood pooling under her. His own dagger. Link looked at his hands and saw blood on them.
He woke up with a chill, swearing, and that was when he'd hopped on Epona, to get away. If he was further from the castle, maybe they would stop. His anger had subsided, of course, but he didn't know if he could let it go. Could he trust her to not read his mail and make decisions for him? He couldn't help but hate her, just a little, and consider for the briefest of moments leaving with Verla.
But she was the worser of the two options, that much was certain. Zelda had ried to protect him. It was underhanded, but it was done from a place of love. Verla never made that kind of decision. He ruffled Epona's mane affectionately. Epona looked back at him and then at the paths ahead. She didn't want to go any further.
"Come on," he urged, nudging her. "Don't you betray me, too."
Epona snorted in response and irritation.
"Please?" he asked, quietly.
Epona stood there, and with some frustration, Link hopped off her, grabbed the reins, and pulled. "Come on!"
Epona pulled away and reared. Link was surprised, she almost never reared from him. He looked around in the woods, in case there was some danger, but there wasn't. Just her, fighting him.
"Why you? Why you too, huh?" He put his forehead to hers. Epona stepped back and pulled on her reins, trying to pull him in turn.
"Why should I go back, huh?" He was frowning at her.
Epona couldn't respond, of course, so she pulled again. Irritated, Link hopped up and let her turn them around, out into the field, but once there he wouldn't let her take him to the castle, not right away. She seemed to accept that, and they headed south for a while.
\
Verla had watched Link go, frozen in shock. When her maids saw him leave through the front door, they went back to her room, knocking before entering. Mikal was fussing and Verla was ignoring him, sitting on the bed.
"My lady?" Kitti asked quietly.
"We're going. We're done. It's over." Verla looked around the small room, not sure what to do with herself as her maids started packing. Nina took care of readying Mikal, while Kitti began to fold their clothes and put them away. Verla muttered a curse; she would have to settle the bill, but not yet, not while she couldn't think. Theo would be disappointed, but she had guaranteed him nothing.
She sighed and stood uselessly in the room. Mikal was watching her, kicking his feet and fidgeting. She rubbed her stomach gently, trying to comfort herself, but it was of little use.
"I guess…" Verla hesitated. "I suppose I should pay up."
The maids murmured their acknowledgement, and Verla fetched her purse, hoping she wasn't about to give away her last rupees.
\
Zelda hardly glanced to the door when there was a knock. She was laying flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. Tilly entered, and announced the arrival of Zelda's first wedding guest, Jalila.
Zelda forced herself to sit up, but she stayed in her bed, pulling the sheets close.
"Your Majesty, I am pleased to see you again. I… apologize, did you not receive my letter?" Jalila hesitated when she saw the pile on Zelda's desk, then back to the queen. "You look fearful busy. I know I am early. Where is your blond champion?"
"Gone," Zelda said bitterly.
"Gone," Jalila echoed.
"Yes."
Jalila clicked her tongue. "Young men, they like to rut in the dirt. It is why we break them."
"No, not like that. He's gone."
Jalila looked to Tilly, confused. Tilly bowed and tried to explain. "They had an argument. We believe he needs to… cool his heels."
"Fighting so close to the wedding! Over candles and placemats?"
"Over previous women and bastard children," Zelda replied, her tone caustic. She was not in the mood for Jalila's innuendos.
"Her again?" Jalila approached the bed and sat down, much as Tilly had done. "I told you to ruin her, you let her live in contentment."
"She paid for her indecency, I made sure of that. But… I didn't tell him."
"Chh! As if he needs to know everything women do."
"If he's going to be king, I should trust him. I should tell him. We're not like you Gerudos, at all."
"It sounds like you in particular are more like us than you thought." Jalila pulled a thin cigarette from her pocket and lit it from a funny device that she carried. She offered a drag to Zelda, but she shook her head.
"Bad for the baby." She watched Jalila shrug and take a puff, and she looked at the woman's slim figure. "Nothing for you yet?" she asked, just to take her mind off it.
"No. I am not terribly worried about securing an heir for Gerudo."
"What about for Prin?"
Jalila snorted a laugh. "Fuck Prin, girl. That island is terrible for the condemned."
Zelda wanted to laugh, but she couldn't.
"So." Jalila blew away from her, and Tilly fanned at the smoky air, disapproving but silent. "You have stopped the regimen."
"Yes."
"There is your first mistake; now you are tied to him." Jalila tapped Zelda's stomach with one long finger. "You told me you wanted this. But don't you see how when you melt wax with a man, you can never separate his wax from yours. You can't unmelt two candles."
"… melt wax?" Zelda wrinkled her nose. "Is that what you call it?"
"Sometimes." Jalila stubbed out the cigarette. "You look thin. Haggard. You should eat, for the child."
"You were just telling me this child was a mistake."
"For a Gerudo woman, it would be. For Hylian women, maybe not. For a queen, maybe not. An heir. You could spin him, your man, as a villain easy enough. Leaving you burdened. He has done so before."
"No, with Verla he didn't know. And… it's my own fault he's gone now. The people look up to him. They would hate me more readily."
Jalila clicked her tongue, and folded her arms. "So, what is your move now? You are going to wed an invisible man?"
"No… if he returns, beg his forgiveness, morelike."
"If. And if he does not?"
"I… I don't know. We'll be broke. We'll be right back where we were, and I won't even have his help. He brought this country back."
"He is wedded to this country as much as you. He will surely return to do what is right for it."
"But… I don't know that, and the wedding is in a week and a half…" Zelda cupped her face in her hands. She did not have the strength to sob, so she simply shuddered where she was.
"Oh girl," said Jalila, sighing. She looked towards Tilly. "When did she last eat?"
"Uh…" Tilly had to think back. "It was a while ago, I think. A few bites of toast this morning."
Jalila grabbed Zelda and gave her a little shake. "Eat something! You need your patience and strength for him! You are a queen, not a lovesick girl."
"Can't I be both for a while?" Zelda asked, shaking her head.
"Ugh." Jalila shook her head in pity. "You should continue as if you know he will return. You will truly lose everything if you do not."
"But…"
"I am telling you!" Jalila stood.
"Could you let me think about it?" Zelda sank back into the pillows. "Please?"
"Come now. Do not crumble over a man. You are better than this." Jalila nodded her head, and seeing she could do nothing else, she left.
Zelda sighed and let her eyes close. She was exhausted, but the dreams gave her barely any rest.
\
Link stared at the river, watching the sun glint off its surface. Epona stood by resolutely, snorting at the sand and sneezing, biting at the scant grass and finding it undesirable. The river was fuller than it'd been in a long time. The country itself was celebrating, it seemed.
After a while of sitting in the sun, he stood and dusted off his tunic. He'd finally let himself think about it, about the whole situation, and he knew of something to make him feel better about it all. Verla did need to pay her taxes, in the long run. He could understand Zelda's jealousy and anxiety, a little bit. Her home, the only thing she'd had, was threatened by Verla's presence, by his son's presence. He thought about his son most, the child that hadn't asked to be born into this troubled life. How he'd grabbed Link's finger with one tiny fist and stared up at him, as defiant as his father. How the child didn't have any hope of a future. Could he give him one? Could he work something out with Zelda? An inheritance of sorts?
Link climbed up onto Epona and turned her toward the castle. He was hungry, having brought little food, and he was tired, and both of them were due for a good wash. Epona picked up her hooves and went easily to a gallop, excited to be heading back. Link wished he were as happy at the prospect, but he needed to have a good talk with Zelda about this (another one, how many times would they talk about it?).
He felt angry all over again, at Verla playing to his heartstrings with Mikal, at Zelda for not telling him in the first place, and for the whole situation. He hated himself for having to return—it was the right thing, he couldn't bear to have two children without him in their lives.
\
Zelda made herself get out of bed. She went to her desk, not changing, and pulled her hair back with ribbon, and stared at the dozens of papers on the desk. They towered ominously, and she entertained the notion of flinging all of them into the fire.
Instead, she started reading.
If she wasn't going to get sleep, and if she was going to pretend that Link was on a last bachelor's retreat or something, then she needed to do her duty to the country, her first husband, and its people her first children. She took up her letter opener and went to open the first letter, but accidentally cut open her own finger instead.
"What?" She looked at the pen knife in surprise, it shouldn't be that sharp. She sucked on her finger and went to open the envelope with her fingers, and ended up giving herself a papercut on her thumb. She took her first finger from her mouth, inspected it, then sucked the blood from her thumb, reaching for a scroll instead. As she picked at the wax, a sharp chunk of it embedded under a fingernail and gouged into the bed, and a little well of blood appeared.
She felt a trickle of fear, but pushed it away as being foolish. She tried to pry the wax out from under her fingernail, and resulted in almost pushing the nail entirely off the bed, which she did not expect and she cried out in pain, dropping the pen knife. It glanced off her thigh and left a little cut there, clanging onto the ground. Zelda clutched her hands and looked around, feeling too hot, then too cold, and she looked at the roaring fire.
"To hell with it," she muttered, and remembering her earlier, terrible idea, she scooped up paper by the armful, giving herself hundreds of papercuts that bled immediately, soaking into the parchment and her fine gown, the envelopes and scrolls like little bits of steel. She tried to chuck them in the fire, but most of them caught in a breeze and swept away, some catching flame and dragging licks of fire across the hardwood, going up like kindling.
It was then she felt the same fear she always felt, and she realized it was a dream. When she turned her head, Ganondorf was sitting at her desk, cleaning his nails easily with the same penknife. The walls and tapestries were turning to pale, feathery ash.
"You," she choked out, stifling in the heat and smoke.
"Who else, princess?"
"Queen."
He chuckled. "Queen what? Queen of betrayal? Queen of lies? Queen of whores and bastard children?" He suddenly flung the pen knife at her, and Zelda barely managed to dodge it, cupping her stomach protectively. Her child squirmed inside, though it was impossible for him to be that big so soon.
"I didn't mean to hurt him," she whispered, her eyes tearing up and her vision blurry.
"But you did. You're a far better opponent than I am. I never thought of seducing him first. But of course, he's not my type." He sneered at Zelda, taking a plum or a peach from a bowl on her desk, and taking a bite.
Zelda gasped in new pain and fell to her knees, coughing and curling up on herself.
"What are you?" she managed to say, gaining clear air. "You're dead, are you my guilt? Are you my fear?"
"Can't I be all that?" Ganondorf stood, taking another bite from the peach. Zelda cried out this time and closed her eyes, delirious, and again she felt blood pooling under her, and could swear she felt claws inside of her as her child hung on for life. "I am everything evil inside you. I am your pride, I am your jealousy, I am your hatred and your fear and your guilt. Sweet princess…"
He put two fingers under her chin and made her face him. She opened her eyes and saw herself, smiling with too-long teeth.
"I am you." The doppleganger wrenched Zelda's mouth open and stuffed the hard pit inside, keeping her mouth shut. On reflex, Zelda tried to swallow, and the sharp pit lodged in her throat, and she was spluttering and choking and its points were digging in, and she couldn't breathe, but she could hear herself screaming with laughter somewhere above her head, the sound blurry and repetitive, and then she was recognizing syllables and voices, competing across the room.
"…give her air!"
"Roll her over onto her stomach, damn you!"
"Your Majesty! Hang on!"
Zelda blinked, tears running down her face. She was laying sideways across the bed, resting on one hip, but her chest and face pointing downwards, into a chamber pot of milky vomit. Tilly was holding her hair back, someone was between her legs and she panicked, trying to squirm away from Tilly's grip, feeling something wet on the mattress underneath.
"Hold on, hold on," Tilly ordered, grabbing Zelda's shoulders, trying to keep her in place. Someone else came to Zelda's side and grabbed her, holding her still, as the midwife worked.
"Where…" Zelda gasped for air.
"You're in your rooms, you've had an accident. We're taking care of you," Tilly assured her.
"An accident…?" Zelda tried to look around.
"No, it's best if you don't look," Tilly whispered. "It could give you a shock."
"Everything's going to be alright," said the person at her side, and Zelda tried again to turn and look.
"Odelia?"
Wads of cloth were bundled tight between her legs, the midwife placing two pairs of bloomers overtop to hold them in place.
"Get her on her back. Someone get her some pillows, put them at her feet and hips. Get her elevated."
Odelia and Tilly rushed to do so, and with their help, Zelda was able to roll over and figure out what had happened. It seemed she actually did make it as far as her desk, but something; either passing out from lack of food or sleep, had made her faint as soon as she sat. There was blood on the seat, and more drips leading to the bed where she was, along with small drops of the vomit.
"My baby," she said, shuddering, trying to sit up, and starting to wretch. Tilly was quick with a clean chamberpot.
"He will be alright. Just keep calm." The midwife wiped her bloody hands clean. "I'll give you tea shortly. Drink it down as fast as you can. It will calm your stomach."
"I'll have food brought up," Tilly offered, but the midwife shook her head.
"No food, not for an hour after the tea. Have to give it time to work, then maybe some bread."
"Why… why did…"
"Why'd this happen, Your Majesty?" the midwife prompted. Odelia sat next to Zelda and held her close, stroking her hair. "You've been under a great deal of stress, with everything. Your husband-to-be has run off, instead of supporting you. You haven't been eating or sleeping, as well. You're killing yourself."
Zelda looked at the midwife, who seemed unapologetic for her bluntness.
"It was my fault he ran, my fault," Zelda choked, nodding.
"Don't speak that way, Zel," Odelia said warmly. Tilly looked up and caught Odelia's eye, and something in the maid's grim face passed to Odelia's. Odelia continued to hold the queen close, resting her cheek atop Zelda's head. The midwife turned to the fire stoked up in the mantle (was that why she'd gone hot?) and came into the breezy bedroom, the windows open to provide air (and why she'd gone cold?) and handed off a cup full of dark, evil-smelling brew.
"Drink it all. As quickly as you can."
Zelda did as ordered; the taste was as bitter as the stuff from Gerudo. But she did drink it all, and handed the cup back.
"Good. Now rest. Sleep. Don't try to do work."
"I can't sleep," Zelda said, shaking her head. "I can't, without him."
The midwife went to cleaning the room. Odelia carefully climbed from the bed.
"Tilly, can you watch her?"
"Yes, of course, my lady," Tilly replied, glancing at Zelda.
"I'll be back." Odelia glanced at the midwife, and not wanting to step through the blood, she used the secret passage (rumors finally being useful) and went to Link's room. She gathered up his pillows, and went into his closet and pulled out an old, worn shirt, bundling them and going back to Zelda's room. She propped Zelda up on the pillows and laid the shirt across her chest, and Zelda looked at Odelia and nodded in thanks. Her heart ached, to smell him.
"Relax now," the midwife reminded her. "In an hour, have some bread. If you feel cramping, take more tea."
"Yes," Zelda replied with a nod. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back.
Tilly hung around the midwife, waiting for a good chance to talk to her.
"Is she going to be alright?" she whispered, as the midwife was ripping up the cloths she used to clean up the blood and throwing them on the fire.
"Yes, I think she'll be well, as long as she rests up. When His Royal Highness returns, he will need to take on a lot of the responsibilities. More than he is now." The midwife was puffed up with anger. "She shouldn't be working so hard. She needs rest and food, and plenty of both. He needs to carry her, now." The midwife gathered up her kit of herbs and medicine oils, and promptly left to change her clothing.
Tilly closed the door behind her, then turned and looked at the stack of letters. She herself was only passable at reading, but she had no idea of when Link was to return, and if she could get Odelia to stick around, maybe…
"My lady," Tilly whispered to Odelia, once Zelda was dozing and Odelia had carefully backed away to leave.
"Yes?" Odelia looked at Tilly carefully.
"Well, you once helped Her Majesty before with… correspondence, right?"
"Yes, I did." Odelia folded her hands, wondering where this was going. She didn't like to talk much to Tilly, it reminded her too much of the last time they'd banded together for Zelda's sake.
"Well, she needs rest. And Master Link has gone missing. But the correspondence isn't going to go away… I'm quite miserable with letters, but I'm good at folding and sealing."
"Ah. You want I should help sort the correspondence?" Odelia shifted her weight. "I wouldn't feel comfortable answering for Zelda, but trying to help her, sorting and things, I can do."
"Of course. I… I want her to get some rest."
Odelia considered, then sat in one of the old chairs at her breakfast table, not at the desk. "Bring me as many as you can, and we can start to sort them. Are there baskets or anything?"
"I don't think so, but… I can pull out two of the drawers from her desk."
"Only if they're empty."
Tilly brought Odelia a stack of papers, and then went to see about clearing out at least one drawer while Odelia began to open and sort the mail. Behind them, in her bed, Zelda had dreamless rest, finally, a result of the medicine from the midwife.
\
Link returned, begrudgingly, to the castle. The stablehands were cordial towards him, promising to clean Epona well. He lingered in the yard, looking at the new addition to the stables that still smelled of fresh-cut wood. He paced the outside of the castle. He wasn't quite ready to head inside yet. He wandered back towards the marketplace, and on a whim, he headed to the sacred temple, where the master sword had gone back to rest. The temple was empty, but for the old man who had reluctantly returned to tend to it. He nodded to Link when he entered, but said nothing, as was his way.
Link approached the pedestal and looked at the master sword. It had returned to its stony form, devoid of the power to save the country. He touched the pommel and gave it an experimental tug, but there was no use; it was cemented into its pedestal for good, just a symbol.
Link stepped back and looked around, at the worn pews, many new to replace those that were damaged. He touched one of the older pews, rubbing a gouge in the wood with his fingers. It looked like it was made by a sword blade being carelessly swung. He looked around at the tapestries and paintings, depicting the goddesses and the triforce and the ancient protectors. He looked again at the Master Sword, then back to one of the last tapestries, depicting a hero in green armor and a helm that hid his face, holding a sword almost three-quarters his height. Did this man have such troubles? Such… in the face of everything, truly insignificant problems?
Link sat down in one of the pews and closed his eyes. He didn't know if he was asking for guidance or anything like that. He just wanted to collect his thoughts before he went back to the castle.
After an hour more of quiet contemplation, he stood and left the temple, walking down the main stretch back towards the castle, his hands in his pockets. He was greeted but he did not respond besides a slight nod of his head. He entered the castle, hesitating and looking around, watching the temporary hires cleaning the walls, taking down tapestries and shaking them out, bringing out old rugs to cover up any chipped and cracked tiles in the hallway.
Link stopped by the kitchens and grabbed a quick snack, again under their noses, and he tapped quickly up the steps, tearing apart a chunk of bread with his teeth. He went to his own room, frowning when he realized his pillows were gone and not understanding why. He shrugged and, after a moment's hesitation, he took an extra chair from his front room and pushed it up against the handle on the door for the secret tunnel. She was not sneaking to him in the dead of night. Then he kicked off his shoes, rubbing his sore feet, and prepared a bath for himself. He settled into the warm water and sharpened his shaving razor, then groomed his jawline and chin, using a little looking glass to see his reflection. He carefully put the razor back in its case and washed his hair, leaning his head back to rinse it, and floated in the tub, staring at the ceiling.
The idea was simple. Together, they would set aside a trust account, to mature on Mikal's 18th birthday. The account would be fed from the taxes paid against the grain grown on the ranchland, hopefully to reach R50,000 (if not more) by then. If that wasn't enough (he knew Zelda was hopeful to sell off the ranch, at least, the last time they discussed it), then it would come from taxes brought in by the fairs, seeing as Link felt those were his ideas, and he deserved some say over what was done with the funding.
And if that still didn't total 50,000 rupees by the end, then the boy would be granted an allowance until he had received that amount. So Zelda had the money for now, but she could think of it as a long term loan, and maybe Mikal's future would be safe. Link was determined to push this through for the boy. He worried about his future, about what he might and might not learn, with the parents he'd been given.
But it wasn't his problem. He had to remember that, above all else.
When he felt clean enough, Link climbed out of the tub, and dried off. He pulled on a set of loose nightclothes, and climbed into bed, to sit up for a while and think. He was somewhat uncomfortable without a pillow behind his head, but he'd slept like this before, it just took some getting used to.
He startled awake. Someone was in his room. He glanced at the window, not moving his head, then looked around. In the darkness he saw a figure carrying a large white something; he waited for only half a heartbeat or more, then he sprung upward and crouched, wary and suspicious. The figure shrieked and dropped the white mass, and cried, "don't hurt me!"
Link hesitated; he knew that voice. "Tilly?"
"Yes, sir," she answered, her hands to her chest against her pounding heart. She hadn't expected him to actually be back.
Link glanced at the floor. "Is… are those my pillows?" And a shirt?
"Yes… um, Her Majesty was… using them."
He frowned. "What, she doesn't have enough?"
"Well, it was to prop her up, make her comfortable for rest."
Link didn't respond, and Tilly could tell she wasn't endearing the queen to him, so she continued to explain.
"She hadn't slept well, and she hasn't been eating—
"How terrible for her," he grumbled. "That she should feel bad about lying."
Tilly frowned. "Sir," she snapped, "she made herself so sick that she almost lost the baby."
This gave Link pause, and concern tempered his anger. He thought for a moment. "Is she alright?"
"She is resting now. The midwife gave her some medicine." Tilly knelt to pick up the pillows and his shirt. "Did you want to see her?"
"No, let her rest," he answered quickly. His frown had returned, but there was a worry crease between his brows. He'd every reason to be angry, of course, but he didn't want Zelda hurting herself over it. Tilly handed him the pillows, then hung up his shirt while he adjusted and settled in.
"She should be alright, we were able to call the midwife quickly enough," Tilly added, trying to reassure him. "But she probably won't be able to… to do as much for the next day or so."
Link didn't respond, still thinking. Tilly paused by his bedside and folded her hands. "Do you need anything?"
"No, no." He gestured for her to go. "Keep an eye on her for me."
"Of course."
\
For a long, long time, there was nothing. There was no sound, no sight, nothing.
Slowly, she became aware of herself in the void. She would think she was floating, but that would imply that she had some substantive wholeness that was being held or suspended by another force, and it was nothing like that. She simply was. Simply a quiet hush of life. She thought she felt something twitching, miles away inside of her, but she couldn't tell what it was.
And then there was something to see.
She was staring at a flat, pale surface, what seemed several feet above her. Yes, above, she realized. She was on her back. All around her was soft whispering, old conversations repeated back from the… from the wherever, the language unknown and strange. Slowly, she sunk back into herself, feeling the warmth of the bed under her hands, the soft support at her back, the itchy, rough cloth wound between her legs. There was whispering from somewhere to her left, soft voices saying words she recognized but did not yet comprehend. Her mouth was dry, her lips stuck together, but she could smell everything; a sharp tang of medicine, the deep, hearthy smell of burned wood, a metallic reek of blood, and faintest of all, the ghost of perfume and incense.
"…see her when she's ready for it," came the next quiet whisper. Zelda blinked once, twice, and her room came into focus. She forced her mouth open and took a deep breath, unaware that she'd been holding it. Her stomach gurgled in hunger, while lower down her belly felt sore, as if it had overexerted itself. Her arms were heavy and wooden, her feet cold lumps at the end of dead legs.
There was the soft clicking of shoes on the tile, and she moved only her eyes, seeing Tilly peek in from the doorway.
"Your Majesty? You're awake?"
Zelda made a little groaning noise. Tilly slipped into the room and the midwife followed. The older woman settled in on the edge of the bed, checking Zelda's pulse, and then her temperature, her lips pursed in concentration. Then she gently pushed one hand into Zelda's belly, palpating it.
"Are you well, Your Majesty? Any dreams?"
"… no," Zelda whispered, and she frowned. Why did that seem so strange?
The midwife pulled back the covers, and Zelda groaned again. She was so cold.
"Pardons, Your Majesty. But we will need to clean you up, and I must examine…"
Zelda closed her eyes again, but she wasn't tired. The midwife sighed and lifted up Zelda's nightgown to her waist, and began to unwind the cloth.
The smell of blood was stronger, but the midwife did not comment until Zelda was free of the wrappings.
"Burn these," she ordered Tilly. "Outside, they will stink something terrible in here."
"Of course."
Tilly left, and Zelda looked at the midwife, who was preparing some softer cloths with scented water. She came back and started cleaning.
"Well. I am optimistic," she said as she worked, "that your baby is safe inside."
"Yes," Zelda mumbled. Her lips felt cold and numb.
"It was a close call, however. I recommend you take it easy for a while longer. Eat well, sit as often as possible, keep your mind clear, and avoid… strenuous activity."
"Yes."
The midwife threw the cloths into a basin of cold water to rinse the blood, and she held out her arms to Zelda. "Come on. We should have you sit up."
"I can't…"
"Yes, you can." The midwife looked at her fiercely, and Zelda looked at the outstretched hands. She focused and thought of raising her arms. Slowly, and with great effort, she lifted them from the bed. The midwife took them and gently pulled until Zelda was able to sit upright.
"How do you feel?"
"Dizzy…" Zelda half-curled on herself, looking around, nausea making her empty stomach flip over.
"Anything else?"
"No… hungry, maybe." Her voice was clearer, and everything was coming into sharper focus. The fight with Link, her shame, the paperwork and the nightmares.
"Keep it light for now. Clear broth, weak tea. You were out for a day and a half, your body will need time to recover."
"A day… a day and a half. But, I've a kingdom to run, I can't…"
The midwife put a heavy hand on Zelda's shoulder. "The kingdom can wait."
Zelda was thrown off by someone speaking so sharply to her, so she could only nod in acknowledgement. "What do I do now?" she asked.
"As I told you. Rest. Do not stress yourself."
Zelda nodded. The midwife fixed her pillows so that she was sitting upright, and left the room, shutting the door. Zelda looked out towards the sun streaming through her open window. It was so bright; how had she slept so long? The medicine, the concoction she'd forced down, probably. She rubbed her hands together and looked around. She thought she heard soft talking from the other room, and she wanted to see who it was, but she dared not leave the bed in case the midwife was still there. After a few minutes, she heard the solid sound of the main doors closing, then her bedroom door opened and Tilly had reappeared.
"Do you need anything?"
"Yes, could you bring me some of the letters and things? I want to get started on those."
"Oh… well, while you were asleep, Master Link has been looking through them."
Zelda looked at Tilly in surprise. "He's home?"
"Yes."
Zelda scooted around, throwing off the covers. "I must see him—
"No, I'm under strict orders for you to rest, Your Majesty. You must stay in bed."
Zelda frowned, and sank back in the pillows, thinking. "Could you bring him to see me?"
"Well… " Tilly hesitated. "You shouldn't have any more excitement…"
"I can be quite calm," Zelda muttered, annoyed.
"I… will ask after him," Tilly said quietly, and she went back into the main room. Link was sitting at the desk, the quill forgotten in his hand.
"Sir?" Tilly asked, folding her hands.
Link looked at her, then back down at the sheaf of papers before him. It was an invoice for the cost of flower centerpieces for the wedding, some hundreds of rupees, money that should be Mikal's legacy.
"Sir, Her Majesty has asked to see you."
Link frowned. "How is she?"
Tilly was confused by his question, but she tried to answer it as truthfully as she could. "She… seems well, sir."
"Good." Link sighed. Best to do it now, he thought. He gathered up some of the invoices and bills, and followed Tilly into the room, where she bowed to Zelda, and then left them alone.
Zelda gripped the sheets in her hands, twisting them this way and that when she looked at him. "H…hello," she said with a little smile, hoping he was in a better mood towards her.
"Hey." Link sat in the chair next to her bed, the papers in his lap. Zelda looked at them, then to his face.
"Link, I'm…" she could barely speak, as a fresh wave of guilt came over her.
Link shook his head. "Nevermind it."
"But…"
He sighed in frustration. "You obviously had a reason to do what you did."
"I don't want her coming—
"I know. No more than I do. But it's better to get this stuff done."
"Of course, of course, but…" she gestured helplessly. "I'm not… as brave as you."
Link looked back down at the papers, then towards her. "Because of everything, I fear that Mikal won't have a future."
It took her a second to remember his son's name. "Oh."
"I… have been looking over the paperwork while you slept, to catch the country up. We're spending a lot on this wedding."
"Y…yes."
Link shifted his weight. "If… Theo cuts off Mikal as a bastard, he will have nothing to his name. Nowhere to go, no true home. If he had something, an inheritance or something, then maybe he would stand a chance, and be able to be his own man."
Zelda bit her lower lip. "What are you thinking?"
"That… we consider the money you got from Verla's taxes a loan." He waited to see if she would protest this, but Zelda had been cowed by his anger, and she was quiet. "And that it must be paid back, in full, by Mikal's eighteenth birthday, as a… as a um.."
"Endowment?" she offered quietly.
"Yeah." Link's cool attitude was tempered by his error, and he shuffled some of the papers around. "To him. So that he has something to live on."
Zelda reached out and touched Link's knee, and in response he took her hand.
"You love him?" she asked.
"I just… feel responsible for him, as foolish as that might seem." Link shrugged.
Zelda smiled. "I don't think so at all." She carefully shifted and turned towards him, kissing him. "I am so sorry," she whispered against his mouth.
Link kissed her back, then stood. "Lay back down, you shouldn't move around too much." He set the papers down on the chair and tucked her back in, making sure she was comfortable, and hesitating. "Are… you alright?" he asked.
"Yes. Um… they were able to act quickly enough." She touched her stomach carefully.
He took the papers back into his hand, and after a moment of hesitation, sat back down.
"You've been… taking care of the country for me?"
"It's my country, too." What little of the paperwork he could make sense of, at least.
"Of course." She smiled.
"If… Mikal wanted to live here, in town or…"
Zelda rubbed her hands together. Could she stand the reminder, every day? But—oh please, it wasn't as if the child would be hanging around the castle, in her private chambers or otherwise.
"I would not object," she answered finally, and that seemed to placate him.
"I should, um…" Link stood. "I should let you rest."
Zelda sunk down into the bed. "Could you bring me some of the paper and things? I don't want you to be the only one saving the country all the time."
Link smiled, and that reassured her more than anything. "Yeah, I'll get you a few. Just a few, though."
"Thank you." She smiled again, and he kissed her forehead before leaving.
\
Verla hardly spoke on the ride back to her home. Mikal cried and she fed him, but the maids changed him, played with him, rocked him to sleep. She did not know what to do. She didn't know what Theo would think, what he would say, and she found that she didn't particularly care any longer. She knew it was a stupid idea from the beginning, but Theo never listened to her. What would happen to them now?
She ate little over the three week travel, and when they finally returned, her dresses were loose on her waist, despite the child inside of her. She did not have to say anything when she came in the front door; Theo was waiting for her, his face etched with despair and failure.
"The king went to the ceremony," he muttered, when she approached him.
"What happens now?" she asked, her own face expressionless. She was so tired.
"Nothing," Theo said, frowning. "We hope that he is able to form an alliance with Hyrule now."
Verla sighed, looking away, but Theo had not moved. She looked around the great front hall, with its thick rugs and marble floors and vaulted ceilings.
"What happens to me? To Mikal?"
Something flickered across Theo's features, and he glanced at Verla's waist and hips. "You are safe, if you really do carry my son. But I will renounce Mikal as a bastard."
Verla closed her eyes in a flinch. "And?"
Theo shook his head. "I'll do what I can for him, I guess. If only because your mother loves him so. But he will never hold my lands as his own, and he will never take my name or be first for anything."
He expected horror in her face. He expected pleading, tears. Instead, Verla shrugged. "Fine." She walked away from him, intending to head up to her rooms and take rest.
Verla's attendants went back to unpacking the carriage, moving faster than they dared, so that it looked like they had been busily working all the while and not listening.
Verla knew herself for a great fool in her choices, and she curled up around a pillow and finally cried.
\
Zelda woke early. Link had been sleeping separately since he returned, and she assumed with some degree of hopefulness that it was to keep either of them from being tempted. The midwife had declared she was safe to leave bed and walk, but no horseback riding or other vigorous activities for a while longer. Her nightmares were smaller, shorter. Often it was just her in the dusty, decaying room, staring into a cracked mirror at Ganondorf over her shoulder, and him staring back at her, his face etched with contempt.
She sat up and looked out the window at the early morning sky. Tomorrow would be the beginning of their fast for the wedding ceremony. The midwife had urged her to eat plenty this day, to keep her strength up over the next few. Reluctantly, Zelda had agreed to Link's idea, and together they decided to begin setting aside after the wedding.
Zelda climbed out of bed, moving slowly, taking her time as if that would slow time down as well. She was nervous about the ceremony. If her mother was here, she would have assured the girl that her husband-to-be was probably just as nervous, and just as eager. Zelda wandered to her dressing mirror, the one she was always looking into in her nightmares, and traced her fingers around the edge of the frame, before looking down at her tidy array of makeup and jewelry and fragrances.
She looked out towards the window again, and abruptly stood and went to it, leaning on the sill and looking out, seeing the walls of the castle market (the new ones visibly brighter, cleaner) and the buildings below, homes and shops. Beyond that, she could see a little of the fields, and on the distant horizon the dark mass of the forest. Link was always heading back that way, when he was escaping her and the castle. She put one hand to the cold glass, looking at the woods. But he was here with her, now. Maybe one day they would explore the woods together, but not today.
She touched her lower stomach gently again, as had become habit, and then she went to sit back down on her bed to rest. Link had been spending what he could of the days with her, working on the country's slowly-shrinking problems (though they would never go away completely)in between checking on little details; the walls were mostly repaired, enough to pass for winter, and there were harvests to check and water, early crops to cut down an sell. Most of her troops were in their home villages, helping their parents and neighbors. It suddenly occurred to Zelda how vulnerable they were, with her forces spread out like that.
But who was left to attack her country? Just Termina, but the king was due to arrive in the next day or so for the wedding; he was a cordial sort, and Hyrule had always been on good terms with them.
Zelda jumped as the door opened, but it was only Tilly with breakfast. She set the tray down at Zelda's bedside and smiled. "You look better today, Your Majesty."
"Thank you." Zelda drank the tea first, suddenly realizing how thirsty she was. She took a bite of toast and chewed thoughtfully. "Is Master Link awake yet?"
"I am not sure, do you want me to see?"
"No, it's fine." Zelda smiled to reassure her. "There must be some last-minute preparations, do you have the list?"
"Yes." Tilly moved back into Zelda's sitting room to collect it, and returned as Zelda was halfway through her second piece of toast. "We have to collect your dress from the shop today."
"I believe she will be delivering it personally."
"Alright. Then double-checking the placement of the tables, seating arrangements, centerpieces."
"I think Odelia is helping with that, as well as checking to make sure we have enough supplies for the courses."
"His Royal Highness Olvik of Termina is scheduled to arrive tomorrow."
"Ah, I think some of my high counselors are greeting him while I'm in prayer."
"Yes, I think so. The rings are set to be delivered…"
"Link can sign for those."
"The glass windows are almost all replaced. Those that aren't have been covered with tapestries."
Zelda wrinkled her nose as she bit into an orange segment. "A poor substitute, but it will look fine enough from inside."
Tilly paused, watching Zelda eat. "You have quite the appetite today, Your Majesty."
"I'm about to spend the next day and a half fasting, I need to eat what I can."
"Would you like me to see what else is available in the kitchens?"
"Whatever they can spare."
"Of course." Tilly paused. "Did you want me to continue with the list?"
"No… well, is there anything that has not yet been addressed?"
"Well, I believe Master Link arranged the band?"
"Yes."
"Does he know when they will be showing up?"
Zelda shrugged. "You'd have to ask him."
Tilly nodded. "Anything else, Your Majesty?"
"Could… could you see if they have any bacon in the kitchens?" Zelda smiled, and Tilly bowed.
"Of course."
\
Link had been awake for an hour or two before the sun and, simply for lack of something to do, he went out to the stables and checked on Epona. She was happy enough to see him, and after he made sure that the stables were in clean condition (if they had not been, he would have roused the stableboys quickly to rectify that), he saddled up and headed out into the fields, going out through a side-gate. He did not feel the anxious recklessness of before. He did not feel as if he needed to escape the castle and its trappings. But the open fields were still a comfort to him, a reminder of the open world outside of the castle that he had saved.
He looked towards the dusty road that led to the main gates of the castle market, surprised to see the long trail of carts and horses and full-covered wagons and carriages. They couldn't all be guests for the wedding, could they? They couldn't all be merchants with things for the wedding, though, right? Probably here to sell during the festivities to guests, at least, and a few of them delivering for the wedding, to be sure.
He turned Epona and directed her back towards the gate, not wanting the people to see him and get into a frenzy. Epona was not happy with this. She turned away from the gate and cantered out towards the fields, away from the long road into the walled market.
Link rubbed his forehead and let her tromp around in the grass as she liked, but reluctant to keep her from roaming too far out. After an hour, he tried to lead her back again, and this time she was more willing (though still reluctant). He promised her (as he'd been doing lately) that he would take her out for proper rides very soon, as soon as everything blew over. As she always was, she forgave him, but not without giving him a sharper-than-usual bite on the hand. Link gave her some extra oats and took his time brushing out her mane and tail, then along her coat, and took a minute to check her shoes, noting that one would have to be redone soon. He sighed and checked her teeth as well, as the sharpness of the bite gave him some concern, but they were fine. At least she was just annoyed.
He thought about Zelda. They'd hardly talked since she apologized. Zelda seemed so ashamed of herself that she was reluctant to look him in the face. But if they were going to be together forever in a few days (a few days!), he didn't want the guilt following her with every interaction between them.
Link kissed Epona's nose and grinned at her, then shut her stall and left the stables to go inside again. He was getting hungry and the sun had popped up over the horizon. He didn't know what to do with himself, but breakfast was an idea, and a very good one.
He went back into the castle and popped by the kitchens. He saw Tilly trying to finagle some bacon from the cook, who looked like she wasn't budging, and he decided to skip popping in there to instead head up to… Zelda's room, maybe.
He dashed up the steps quickly, running his fingers back through his morning hair. He knocked first when he got to the door, but remembered Tilly was downstairs, and he let himself in.
"Tilly?" Zelda called, and she walked into the front room, braiding her hair to one side. She looked up from her task and stopped cold, her eyes wide in surprise and then smiling. "Good morning."
"Morning." He smiled back, then looked down to his feet.
"You smell like the outdoors, did you go for a walk?" Zelda touched his shoulder.
"I took Epona out."
"Oh! What a good idea. Did she like it?" She moved away from him and towards the desk to sort through the mail from the day before.
"Well, she liked it okay, but it could have gone longer." He half-followe her, standing on the other side of the desk. "Are you alright?"
"What do you mean? I'm fine." Zelda flashed him another smile, a quick flick upwards and then back to the paperwork.
"You've been quiet."
Zelda's hands paused, and she chewed her lower lip, thinking. "Just… things on my mind."
Link leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I forgive you, you know."
"Well." Zelda coughed, staring at the papers in her hands. "Well I don't… forgive myself, so…"
He reached out and took her hands away from the envelopes, holding them. "Look. I'm not happy with what you did, and it was unfair. But… I can understand why you did it. And it's over now. Verla's gone, as far as we know, and together we'll scrape up a future for Mikal."
"He is blameless in all this," Zelda muttered.
"Exactly. So… I know you feel guilty, but I still care about you, and I'm not going to leave you."
Zelda looked at him, her expression finally honest in that it was full of hurt and worry. "Did you… consider it? Even a little?"
Link looked her in the eye and slowly shook his head. "Not even a little."
She sniffed and edged around the desk, leaning against him as he hugged her, and knew that was one truth he would take to his grave.
\
They feasted on whatever was not being set aside for the wedding to keep their strength for the fast. Zelda smiled easier now, laughed longer. She touched Link often, on the arm or hand or shoulder, as if to assure herself he was real, and still there. The castle itself seemed to hum with excitement. The scrubbed floors and tables gleamed under the light of thousands of candles, and the tapestries were brighter than they'd been in ages, having been beaten half to death in the yard. What guards were there for the ceremony had been put to task scrubbing their armor until it was as polished as mirrors. The maids had received newly-made dresses and pinafores to replace their old faded ones, as gifts of thanks for their service. The food even tasted better, everything having been scrubbed in the kitchens.
The day flew by, even though Zelda could not focus on her work. Jalila popped by once or twice to greet them, and apologized that she had been too busy out in the gardens to "see the beautiful plants that grew" (and here she winked at Zelda), but she did not stay long, and Tilly had given herself a list of errands to attend to, so that Zelda need not worry. Odelia ghosted by once to say hello, and Zelda asked her if she wanted tea or anything, but Odelia shook her head, squeezed Zelda's hand, and waved to Link before heading to the great hall to oversee some task for the wedding.
Before bed, the parcels of their humble clothes were delivered in plain brown paper tied with twine. Together, Link and Zelda laid the garments out on her bed, and she directed him as to which to wear.
"These we will wear for the fast," she said, lifting the sleeve of a simple, roughspun dress. Link nodded, touching the tunic that he would wear, and frowning at the itchiness of it. "I know," Zelda murmured an apology, "but it is how it is done."
She gestured to the second set of clothes, which were very similar to their actual dress for the ceremony, but not quite. "And these are our clothes for the second day. They're a little softer."
"What about… like, shoes? Stuff like that?"
"Yes, the first day we won't wear anything of the sort, but the second day I'm sure any boots will do, though I recommend your older ones." She looked at him, and Link nodded in understanding.
"Now, I will have to check for the fish, the deer, and the bird to be given back to the Goddesses," Zelda said quietly, folding her clothes back up. Link took her cue and started to fold his own, frowning.
"Where does the fish go, again?"
"Well, the idea is that the fish returns to Lake Hylia." She carefully tied up the bundle of clothes with the twine. "But it's quite far from us, so we will be traveling out to the river and depositing the fish there, with the intention of it swimming back on its own."
Link nodded, bundling up his own clothes carelessly in a ball, having given up. "What happens to these clothes, anyway?"
Zelda shrugged, and took the bundle from his hands to at least neatly fold the good clothes. "The roughspun stuff is turned into cleaning rags, so as not to go to waste. At least, that is what I intend for ours. The finer stuff we can give away."
Link nodded, liking that idea. "What about the stuff for the actual ceremony?"
"Oh, that should be coming in later today." Zelda smiled. As much as she balked at the cost and remembered how foolishly the fabric had been purchased, she couldn't help but be excited for her wedding gown. She was wearing the necklace Link had gotten her with it, as well as heavy old earrings of her mother's, a tiara borrowed from Odelia, and shoes with white sapphires pinned to the front, something blue but not really blue. "I don't want you peeking at my gown, I want to surprise you."
"You're not coming in naked, right?" he said with a laugh, and Zelda blushed.
"No, of course not." She looked at him, then set the bundle of clothes down and turned towards him, hugging him. "I'm so glad for you."
Link put his arms around her and stroked her hair, his heart beating fast like always with her. "How do you mean?"
"That you stayed," she whispered.
Link held her close, realizing she didn't just mean Verla's surprise visit, but all the way back, to the beginning, when she'd first looked at him all dusty and worn and asked him to stay and support the castle, the people, and her.
"I don't know if… if I could have done any of this without you."
Her voice quavered, and Link laughed a little, trying to help her relax.
"I didn't realize the emotional part of pregnancy came in so early."
"I'm serious!" she cried, leaning back and giving his arm a little punch. "I really don't… I don't know what I would have done."
"You would've figured it out. You've got Odelia and stuff, advisors. You would have managed." He shrugged.
"Well, I'm glad I didn't have to without you by my side. I don't want… I don't want to ever be without you there, to help me. And I mean that." She looked into his eyes.
Link didn't quite know what to say in response, so he didn't speak, he just nodded his agreement.
Zelda touched at her eyes with her fingertips, swatting away the tears, and looked back at him.
"I know that, maybe we shouldn't be tempted, but I'd like to have you by my side tonight, if only to sleep. Just to help me sleep."
"Of course," he murmured in response. "Whatever you say."
Zelda kissed his cheek, and they stood close together, their faces almost touching.
"You give me courage," she added, after a beat.
Link put his arms around her waist and rubbed her back, letting her warmth seep into his clothes. They stood that way for a while, with no need to say anything else between them.