Chapter Twenty-One: Don't Leave Me

Riley grabbed her shoes and tiptoed over to the door that would lead her out into the corridor. She knew if she was here when he woke up she wouldn't be able to keep the promises and confessions from passing her lips. She would not rock the boat, but she did turn one last time and look at the man tangled in the sheets her hand on the doorknob.

He was the most beautiful man that she had ever seen, even vulnerable in unguarded sleep, he exuded a very real maleness that couldn't be defined. She had been so attracted to him for so long she was having trouble accepting that she had actually slept with him last night. Riley was fairly certain that she'd never forget the things he'd whispered while he was moving inside her.

She'd never made love like that before, never had someone consume her body the way that he had. It made her wish that she didn't ever have to become involved with anyone else.

That thought was what finally drove her to open the door and slip out into the hallway. Riley paused briefly outside the tapestry to the Room of Requirement in order to slip back into her shoes before beginning her journey back to the Gryffindor Common Room in search of Lily.

It was definitely time to bring the redhead in on the secret. Sirius was waiting to fill James in until Lily knew, very aware of how Lily would feel if she found out the information from her boyfriend and not her best friend.

Making quick work of her trek through the castle, Riley was climbing the stairs to the dormitory as the rest of Gryffindor tower was starting to awake. Lily was still asleep when Riley walked into the girl's dormitory so Riley shook her awake, "Good morning Lily, remember how I had to tell you a thing? We should talk now before the day gets started."

Lily mumbled something that sounded obscene before rolling unceremoniously out of bed, "Can I have a minute to get dressed?"

"Sure," Riley responded grinning at her friend and turning to her still-made bed and beginning to put her bag together. There was a moment of silence during which Riley assumed Lily was getting dressed, but then her redheaded friend came storming back out of the bathroom.

Lily walked right up to Riley, stuck her finger in her face and hissed, "Oh my god who did you have sex with last night?"

Riley burst out laughing, "Get yourself dressed and I'll tell you. That's the thing I want to talk to you about!"

"You bitch," Lily hissed again, "If I had known this was about a new toy I would've made time for this conversation so much sooner! Give me a minute, I'll be ready in two seconds."

Riley was still laughing to herself when Lily returned two minutes later looking ready for the day. She threw her bag over a shoulder and demanded, "Down stairs now! If we hurry we'll probably make breakfast before there's a bunch of people down there."

Willingly, Riley followed her best friend out of Gryffindor tower heading towards the Great Hall.

"Have you told anyone else?" Lily asked, her eyes narrowed as she examined her friends face searching for a lie.

"No, and neither has he. He's been waiting for me to tell you first."

"So I must know him then," Lily concluded, "Otherwise he wouldn't know to be so considerate." She faded into her own thoughts as she tried to guess who Riley's Mystery Man was. Riley was feeling fairly confident that Lily would never guess who she'd spent the evening.

Once they had settled at the Gryffindor table Lily faced Riley expectantly, "Well? Out with it Riley Macnair!"

Riley grinned and leaned forward, "Sirius and I have figured something out."

Lily's mouth dropped open, she stared at Riley in shock for a moment until she recovered and then yelled, "SIRIUS – ly?" She added the ending as Riley hissed at her to be quiet.

Rolling her eyes at the lame save, "Yes, Sirius. We can't be together forever but we've decided that it's worth it to both of us to try and be together while we can. We're keeping it a secret from basically everyone who doesn't have to know. If it gets back to my parents I, at the very least, am probably dead."

"So you're telling me and Sirius will tell James, are you telling anyone else?" Lily asked her voice still slightly lowered as students began to file into the Great Hall in earnest.

"We're debating telling Remus. He's the only other person we hang out with on a regular basis seeing as Molly and Alice are so often not around. Also he and I have become pretty close the last couple months while he was helping me with some research." Riley paused wondering how much to give away about their failed research project, "I'd like him to know that I'm happy, even if it's just temporary."

Lily nodded and opened her mouth like she was about to ask another question when James plopped down next to her with Peter in tow for the first time in months. She shut her mouth immediately as Riley subtly shook her head.

"Peter, so nice of you to join us for the first time in.. almost the whole year," Riley commented, raising an eyebrow at the smaller boy.

Somehow Peter looked even smaller now than he always had. It was unfortunate for the boy to spend so much time with Sirius and James who were both over six feet tall. It made him look painfully average.

Peter squeaked, "I've been working pretty hard in the library, even during meals."

Riley cast a skeptical glance at Lily but nodded, "I see."

Sirius woke up alone in the beautiful room he'd spent the night in with Riley. She was stunning, everything about her made his blood sing heavenly choruses that he should be so lucky as to have this time with her. The fact that she was gone brought a smirk to his face. Of course Riley Macnair was gone.

The girl was more afraid of her feelings than he was of his own. Which was really better since their arrangement hinged upon her being able to keep those feelings to herself. If he didn't know what he was losing he was hoping it would make the losing easier.

Stretching, Sirius grabbed for his shirt and started pulling his clothes back on. He wouldn't have time to change into different clothes, not that it would be the first time (or hopefully the last) that he would be attending classes in last night's clothing. From now on though, he wanted RIley to be the only reason that he showed up to classes disheveled.

She had looked beautiful pinned beneath him writhing and moaning his name as if it were a benediction. He wanted her there again, and everywhere else, anywhere she'd let him get away with working his way under her skin. He wanted to hear her whisper, scream, moan and beg using his name. Something about the way it sounded when she said it completely undid him.

Sirius patted the wall after he straightened from tying his shoes, silently thanking the room for protecting them and offering such a sanctuary. He threw his tie casually around his neck and struck out for the Great Hall. He hoped Riley was telling Lily about them because James was going to know he'd gotten up to something.

When he entered the Great Hall he saw Lily and Riley sitting near James, Remus and surprisingly enough Peter! He sauntered over to them and sat next to Remus making quick eye contact with Riley across the table, "Ladies, Gents, James," Sirius greeted them all, purposely excluding James and making him scowl, "How are we all this morning?"

"You're awfully chipper," Remus commented, a sarcastic lilt to his voice.

"It's the first day of Winter classes, Moony! Can't a man just be excited about learning?"

"In theory, they could. You can't though," Remus replied drily, taking a bite of his food.

"Did you shag someone already? We only just got back!" Peter exclaimed his eyes filling with awe.

Sirius shrugged looking down at his plate, this wasn't how he'd planned this morning's encounter. On the other hand, his sexual exploits weren't usually private so it had never bothered him before that he was so transparent.

"Who was it this time?" James asked, peering down the Gryffindor table as if he would be able to tell if he could just see everyone's face.

Sirius shrugged, "A gentleman does not shag and share."

"Shouldn't be a problem for you then," Peter said with his mouth full.

James guffawed and slapped Peter's back, "Good one Wormtail. Nicely done!" Lily rolled her eyes and shot her boyfriend a disgusted look.

"You guys are animals!" She said disdainfully.

James leaned towards her and whispered something in her ear that made her blush from the roots of her hair down to her toes, Sirius was sure of it. He couldn't help but glance over at Riley who was looking carefully casual taking a sip out of her goblet of pumpkin juice. She looked up, caught his eye and winked at him covering her sly smile with another drink.

Sirius ducked his head, thinking he was probably the luckiest guy in the world. He didn't think he deserved her wholly but he was certainly going to take up any time she was willing to spare him.

Weeks later things between Sirius and Riley were still going well. As far as they knew the only people who had any idea that they were together were the people they had chosen to tell.

Contrary to what they had been warned against it didn't seemed to affect their relationship. Riley and Sirius had managed to maintain, what James and Lily assured them was normalcy, in public. Lily in particular had assured Riley that she was underestimating how much sexual tension had been visible to the whole school before they started sleeping together.

"Believe it. Every girl in school has already been so blindingly jealous of how he looks at you that they won't even notice that you're suddenly looking back," Lily teased.

"But what about guys who might not have noticed me looking at him before?" Riley had asked, her voice betraying her worry.

"Oh Riles, you big idiot. You've always looked back. Any guy who's ever dated you knew immediately that he was competing with Sirius."

Riley had the good grace to blush, "How did we not know?"

Lily shrugged, "Mostly I was going to chalk it up to you two being idiots. I think Sirius still doesn't notice, but now I think it's a choice."

Sirius had very carefully kept his distance from the girl's he usually spent time with, putting out the word that he wasn't interested. Even if he hadn't been avoiding them, Riley felt so secure in his affection for her that she could only have doubted him if he told her too. She was actually happy. It wasn't until she got her first letter from Rabastan that they had they even had their first fight.

It arrived at breakfast with the morning mail and Riley had thoughtlessly ripped into it.

Hi Riley,

I hope you were serious about being comfortable with my writing to you, I fully intend too. The delay in this first missive, unfortunately, I must attribute to work. Not long after the Ball in January at the Potter's I was sent away to Romania to do some negotiating with a community of Dragon Wranglers who were looking for a raise.

I hope that you're enjoying your final semester up there at Hogwarts and I certainly expect that you and your crew are getting yourselves up to plenty of mischief. If you were so inclined I'd like to hear about what you've been up too.

Warm regards,

Rabastan

Riley was grinning. It was such a formal letter, perfectly in line with the pureblood edicts about correspondence between unmarried, unattached young pureblood men and women. She found herself wanting to roll her eyes, how ridiculous that he would adhere to those rules. What a good pureblooded young man.

"What's that?" Lily asked as she sat down next to Riley, Sirius and James settling down across from them.

"Rabastan actually wrote me a letter. It just arrived this morning with the paper," Riley said starting to fold the letter up to stow in her bag.

"You told him he could write to you?" Sirius asked his voice sharp.

Riley cocked her head slightly, confused by the tone of his voice, "Yes, I did, why?"

A muscle clenched in Sirius's jaw before he spoke, "He's a Lestrange, first of all."

Riley sighed and her voice was bitter as she replied "And I'll be marrying a Lestrange, or a Nott, or a Carrow. Someone I have no interest in introducing all of you too because he'll be terrible and a blood purist and you won't want to know him anyhow. I thought we were all clear on this being my future."

There was silence; Riley watched that muscle in Sirius's jaw twitch once, twice, three times as he struggled to gain control of himself. James finally said, "It's difficult for us to be comfortable with it because we want so much –"

Sirius jumped up from the table and stormed out of the Hall, he hadn't even touched his breakfast.

"More for you," James finished lamely, watching his best friends back. "I don't even know if should go after him or let him be alone for a minute."

"The hell with what he wants," Riley growled standing up from the table her eyes locked on Sirius as he got out the doors, "He knows how this goes." Lily tried to grab her arm as she walked away but Riley moved out of her reach. She was furious. How dare he react that way when he knew exactly what he had signed up for? At least this way if she had a choice when she graduated they would honor it and arrange it.

She was hot on Sirius's heels once she got into the hallway. "Sirius!" She barked out angrily as she saw him walking up the stairs. Hearing her voice the students starting to stream in to the Great Hall parted and made a path for her to get through.

"Leave me alone Riley," Sirius snapped over his shoulder, not stopping his progress the words meant to be a warning.

"The hell I will," Riley yelled after him. "You have two choices, we do this in front of everyone or we do this in private but we're having this conversation right now. I think you know which option I would prefer, how about you?"

Sirius whirled around and looked down the stairs at her, their classmates were stopping to stare between the two of them. Riley watched the tick in his jaw, counting again as she waited for him to answer. "Fine," He growled menacingly as she got to six, "Let's go."

Riley breathed a sigh of relief and jogged up the stairs to where he was waiting for her. He hardly looked at her as he turned and started walking, continuing up the stairs. "Where are we going?" She asked.

"Just down the corridor there's a disappearing conference room, never leaves the grounds. It should give us some privacy," Sirius responded his voice harsh and unfriendly.

Riley chose to nod in response as he stopped abruptly and held the door to a room open for her. He walked in after her and snapped the door shut. He opened the door on a different corridor and then snapped the door shut again. "That should give us some privacy."

Riley leaned against the wall looking around the room apprehensively; it was carpeted with a large round table in the center of the room surrounded by a variety of different armchairs. Her rage had somehow evaporated when she had joined him on the stairs. She just wanted him to remember that he was supposed to understand. He was the one, her friend who wasn't supposed to give her a hard time or make her explain what it meant to be a member of a corrupt family.

Sirius was prowling the room and refusing to look at her and Riley could feel her heart breaking. She didn't want this. She loved arguing with Sirius but she couldn't be in this secret and intense relationship if suddenly she was going to have to fight him about her future.

"I think we were a bad idea," Riley finally spoke into the tense silence, her eyes not leaving Sirius's back as he turned to pace in the opposite direction. He stopped moving and turned his head to look into her eyes.

"Excuse me?" He asked, his voice devoid of emotion.

"I was just beginning to think we must be the exception to the rule; that sleeping with a friend didn't have to be so complicated, dating someone in secret didn't have to be so hard." Riley swallowed, still not taking her eyes from him, "You have never been unclear about what my family requires from me, and here we are prepared to fight about something that hasn't changed since the day you met me."

He was staring at her, his face empty of all emotion his body still tensed; the silence that stretched between them seeming endless.

Finally Riley felt tears sting her eyes as she said, "Okay, I'll see you around Sirius." She made it almost to the door before she heard him moving. He was behind her in moments; he spun her, slamming her into the doorframe and kissing her furiously.

It wasn't the kind of kiss you dream about, it was hard and desperate. The closeness a little uncomfortable, their teeth scraping against each other, there was biting and pressing and furiously searching, grabbing hands. When Sirius finally tore away from her to breathe, Riley spoke hoarsely, "Is this goodbye?"

"No," Sirius answered his voice catching on the next words, "This is don't leave me." His mouth crashed down onto hers again and she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck hauling his body as close to her as she could.

They were starting to fumble with buttons on shirts when Sirius reached under her skirt and ripped her panties off. He lifted her up and laid her down on the meeting table, he covered her body in his, "It's also I'm sorry; and you deserve better; and its still a don't leave me."

Riley closed her eyes and let him have her on the table with tear streaks running down her face. He was whispering a mantra into her ear as his hands roamed over her body drawing lines of electricity across her skin. He asked for forgiveness, promised his love, scalded her mind with her own name as he called it out like a prayer. The whole time his eyes never left hers, reminding her how genuine his every word was.

Her tears never stopped flowing but they changed. They had begun as regret and loss, but now she was crying because Sirius was a man who understood her, he filled her mind, body and soul with everything she'd never been able to find anywhere else; he offered her a completion that no one else seemed to know existed.

After they had both caught their breath he helped her up off the table and pulled her down into his lap in one of the armchairs. Cradling her against his chest they breathed together quietly.

In the silence, Sirius spoke quietly, "Will you let me prove that I know how to be… better?"

Riley nodded, she didn't have to think about it. He had slowly been ruining her for anyone else's physical advances. She wasn't sure she had a choice about being with Sirius anymore, not now.

His hand was running up and down her arm, carefully and casually, only wishing to offer her the comfort of his closeness. "I was hurt because I realized that I will be alone my whole life. Since I've had you, every one else is meaningless to me and I know that doesn't change when you leave me for the marriage required of you. It is vicious reality every time I remember that you're going to marry someone else."

"Just remember that I will be alone my whole life too," Riley began to say but Sirius cut her off with his smile.

"Please don't."

Riley opened her mouth to protest and then changed her mind and pressed her mouth to his, hoping that all of her feelings could be sensed in her kiss.

AN: Hoping y'all are enjoying the two of them together. There might be one more chapter of it, or I might just take you forward to the next part. It's sort of difficult to decide, so if you have a strong opinion feel free to make it known!