Disclaimer: Mark my words; someday...I will own Naruto, mwuhahahahaha! But for now, I will satisfy myself with this one fanfic.

Author's Note: Sasori's New Puppet vs Sage Mode Jiraiya! Let's get ready to RUMBLE!(announcer's voice) Oh, and some other stuff too. And for the record, I have nothing against homosexuals, just to be safe. You'll know what I'm talking about, after you read this chapter. Enjoy...

Chapter 20: The Iron Demon

It was approximately eight-feet tall, armored in the same material as its puppeteer, albeit not of the same chrome polish that glittered in the sunlight. It was a bulky giant with thick limbs, a wide torso with that same circle of light centered on its chest, and a face that looked similar to those metal visors worn by blowtorch-wielders.

It had giant shoulder pauldrons, and its wrists were covered in metal arm guards upon which numerous contraptions were strapped to, one of them being a large nozzle that one could assume to be some type of weapon. Sitting behind its massive heels were a pair of chakra boosters that seemed to be retracted when not in use.

It was Tetsuma, the Iron Demon; Sasori's new, fully armored puppet. It was built for him courtesy of the Rikudou Hiraishin himself, as an extra perk that would go along with the Kazekage-killer's new armor. When not in use, Tetsuma was stored in a seal etched on the inside of each of the suit's fingers, meaning that a total of ten copies of Tetsuma could be summoned by Sasori at once. It essentially gave him a small army of armored, robotic giants to fight with.

Despite their numbers, even just a single Tetsuma puppet was an extremely formidable force. Sasori was fairly confidant that it would take no more than one of them to hold off his enemy, legendary Sannin or not.

Many would assume this to be arrogance, after all, who would bank on the abilities of a single puppet versus a kage-level opponent. But Jiraiya learned the hard way that Sasori was not joking around; after leaping out of the smoke it had been summoned from, Tetsuma had immediately cocked its fist back and triggered a set of chakra boosters in its wrist.

These wrist-mounted boosters served to increase the momentum and consequently the force of each punch dealt by the iron behemoth, and also gave it the element of surprise in some situations. In this case, Jiraiya was completely caught off-guard by the metal puppet's sudden acceleration, resulting in him getting a face full of pain when the behemoth's massive fist slammed into him directly.

The Toad Sage was sent tumbling from high altitude like a meteor in an ungraceful manner, his body spiraling through the air and limbs flapping about everywhere, as he approached the ground at far beyond terminal velocity. Before he crashed into the ground, however, he crashed into Gamaken first, resulting in both the mountain-sized creature and himself careening towards the Earth.

The giant toad and its summoner eventually crash-landed upon a wide, open plain, resulting in a massive explosion that kicked up copious amounts of dirt and debris. This was followed by another explosion of white smoke, signaling the departure of Gamaken from the Human Realm.

After his summon's departure, Jiraiya was left lying on his back, his body racked with throbbing soreness. He had only survived the fall due to a combination of Gamaken cushioning his impact, and his natural durability in Sage Mode. If it weren't for those two, his body would have been smashed to a pulp.

With a grunt of pain, the Yondaime's sensei picked himself from off the ground. Ma and Pa were still fused to his shoulders, so his Sage Mode hadn't been compromised fortunately. Soon, he started to feel the aches that had been pervading his body start to dull; a sign that Jiraiya was still ready to fight.

"Jiraiya-chan," spoke Fukusaku in a light whisper, "Should we prepare Frog Song?"

"No," was his student's reply, "We're up against some strange puppet technique that I've never seen before. I have a hunch that it won't work."

Cupping his palms together, the Sannin focused before extending his senses to cover a much greater volume. A few instants later, Jiraiya detected a blip at the very edge of his awareness; a blip that was rapidly approaching at high velocity. Now alert, the Sage Mode-user charged forward with all his speed in order to pre-empt the imminent battle.

Meanwhile, in Amegakure, Choetsu was observing the recent development between Jiraiya and Sasori with piqued interest, using his own Sage Mode of course. It was not everyday that an S-Rank missing-nin and a legendary Sannin went all out in battle, after all.

With a snap of his fingers, a bag of popcorn suddenly materialized in front of the Rikudou Hiraishin. Taking the bag, Choetsu started digging in when his senses registered a new presence arriving on the roof of Nagato's citadel.

"Oh, if it isn't Shizuka-chan! Come here and join me," said Choetsu, addressing the raven-haired princess watching him from the roof entrance, "And you can tell me all about your progress with the Rinnegan."

When Tetsuma finally landed on the ground, using chakra boosters to soften it's landing, the force of the impact ruptured the Earth and left a wide crater where the behemoth was now standing. In front of it was a cloud of dust that obscured normal vision, marking the spot where Jiraiya and Gamaken had fallen.

Seconds later, a blur shot out of the dust cloud at breakneck speeds. With uncharacteristic speed, the Iron Demon brought up an arm to block the sudden, powerful kick aimed at its torso from said blur, which was revealed to be Jiraiya himself. For a moment, the Toad Sage gaped in shock at the giant's reflexes before he was sent flying by a casual backhand.

Jiraiya skillfully regained his balance before landing on his feet, giving him enough time to watch as the metal puppet raised one of its arms, pointing the mechanical appendage at him. One of the nozzles attached to its arm lit up before releasing a stream of Katon chakra. The directed firestorm hurtled at its target with a searing ferocity, ready to cook the 51-year old to a burning crisp.

It was not to be, however, when Jiraiya formed a single hand-seal before bellowing, "Sage Art: Earth Release: Layered Earth Dome!" With a controlled release of Senjutsu chakra, the Sannin created three separate domes of reinforced rock, each one enveloping the last like a set of Russian Matryoshka dolls (if Russian culture actually existed in this particular universe).

Tetsuma's fire-stream sprayed the outer layer with a blazing heat, but failed to melt through the hardened stone. It wasn't until Tetsuma had added a second fire-stream from the Katon projector on its other arm before the layered Earth dome started to give way.

Sensing this, Jiraiya exploded the outer layer, causing a storm of rock fragments to burst outwards and disperse the flames. Next, the Konoha spymaster formed another short set of seals before exclaiming, "Senpou: Doton: Judan no Arashi (Sage Art: Earth Release: Bullet Storm)!"

From the second and now outer layer of the Earth dome, a seemingly endless barrage of razor-sharp, pebble-sized stones was fired, bombarding Tetsuma with a storm of rock bullets. The iron behemoth weathered through the storm for a while, using its arm to take the brunt of the barrage, before igniting the chakra boosters in its feet and blasting off.

It landed a few seconds later, on the other side of Jiraiya's Earth dome. Charging forward, Tetsuma smashed the remaining two layers of the dome apart with a rocket-propelled fist. When the debris cloud finally cleared, the mechanical giant founds its target to be gone, with nothing but a hole in the ground where Jiraiya should have been.

A few meters away, the Toad Sage emerged from the ground, having used an Earth Release technique earlier to tunnel underground before Tetsuma's fist could destroy his defenses. The perverted hermit inhaled a huge breath of air before announcing, "Senpou: Katon: Endan (Sage Art: Fire Release: Flame Bomb)!" before releasing a blazing torpedo of fire chakra at his target.

The flame bomb combusted upon impact, which resulted in a brief explosion that engulfed the Iron Demon in a hellish inferno. Jiraiya was too experienced to believe it was over, however, and remained alert. His vigilance came in handy when Tetsuma erupted from the flames, completely unscratched, before charging at Jiraiya with the assistance of its chakra boosters. The mechanical puppet threw a heavy punch at him which the Sannin just barely blocked with his arms. In response, the two frogs on Jiraiya's shoulders fired Suiton and Fuuton streams at Tetsuma. The dual torrents of water from Fukusaku and air from Shima blasted Tetsuma at point-blank.

This proved to be nothing but a minor inconvenience for the juggernaut, who simply shrugged it off before igniting the chakra boosters in its wrists. The increased momentum given to the punch overwhelmed Jiraiya's defense, breaking the man's guard and sending him tumbling away. The novelist's body skidded across the ground before coming to a halt nearly one hundred meters away.

As Jiraiya lay there, racked in pain, he tried to think of a plan. "You have any ideas, Ma, Pa?" asked Jiraiya, addressing the Ni Dai Sennin.

Shima shook her head, "No, ma boy, that thing is too powerful. I don't sense any weaknesses at all."

"My suggestion would be to place a tracking seal on it, like you tried to do to its master in the first place," added Fukusaku, "Then fake your death or somethin' and run away as fast as possible."

Jiraiya nodded, "I guess I'll try something along those lines."

The white-haired pervert picked himself off the floor again before attacking. When Tetsuma spotted his charge, the iron giant fired another fire-stream from its Katon projectors. In response, Jiraiya completed a set of hand seals before countering with his own fire-stream, which collided against Tetsuma's.

This resulted in a pseudo game of tug-of-war as the opposing forces battled for dominance, eventually culminating in an explosive conflagration that erupted at the midpoint between the two enemies. When the inferno had died down, Jiraiya rushed the fully armored puppet once again, closing the gap between them.

The Toad Sage made a grab for Tetsuma, but the Iron Demon throw a rocket-propelled punch at his head, forcing the man to dodge with the Body Flicker Technique. The Sannin reappeared behind Tetsuma before crouching on all fours, "Senpou: Kebari Senbon (Sage Art: Hair Needle Senbon)!"

Jiraiya's wild mane of white, spiky hair suddenly let loose a barrage of razor-sharp hair needles, bombarding the metal behemoth from behind. This served to halt the giant's actions temporarily, but did not damage it anyways; at least not initially.

"Senpou: Dai Kebari Bakuha (Sage Art: Great Hair Needle Explosion)!" declared the Yondaime's sensei while forming a single seal. Dai Kebari Bakuha was a technique that released the chakra stored in each hair follicle, causing the hairs to explode. It took the already extremely deadly Kebari Senbon jutsu, and made it even more destructive, as every single piece of sharpened hair was now a miniature exploding tag.

The series of explosions that followed knocked the Iron Demon off its feet and onto its back, giving Jiraiya the opening he needed to flicker in and slam his palm against Tetsuma's chest. Before his hand could make contact with the puppet's armored shell, however, an invisible force-field manifested around the juggernaut, blocking Jiraiya's advance. The Senjutsu-user immediately noticed a certain aspect of the field.

'It's a barrier of natural energy; almost like a defensive version of the Kuwaza Kumite. I've never seen anything like it!'

Indeed, the protective field surrounding Tetsuma and its puppeteer, Sasori's Kyokutanna Mode armor, was actually a layer of focused natural energy, designed to defend against a wide range of attacks. It was the reason why Tetsuma remained unscratched despite all of the effort a Kage-level shinobi had put into trying to damage it. But now that Jiraiya knew what it was, he had a means to neutralize it.

Reaching out with his will, the Toad Sage touched the very essence of nature itself surrounding and protecting Tetsuma, before drawing it into himself. This had the desired effect of draining the Iron Demon's nearly-invincible shield, which would have left it defenseless for Jiraiya's next move. Unfortunately, before Jiraiya could completely absorb the force-field, the circle of light centered on Tetsuma's chest brightened considerably before shooting out a radiant blast of azure chakra, sending the Gama-Sennin flying off of it.

Jiraiya did a flip in mid-air to right himself before landing on his feet. After regaining his balance, Jiraiya began a series of hand-seals just as his mechanical adversary charged at him again. Suddenly, the iron behemoth accelerated, using the boosters in its wrist to augment the ones already firing in its heels, before throwing a lightning fast punch at Jiraiya's head.

Before the fist could connect, however, the Toad Sage evaded with a quick shunshin before rematerializing behind the puppet and slamming his palms against the ground.

"Senpou: Doton: Yomi Numa (Sage Art: Earth Release: Swamp of the Underworld)!" roared Jiraiya as he transformed the ground beneath Tetsuma into a murky pit of mud and muck, causing the juggernaut to sink into its depths. Before the giant could be fully submerged, however, it turned around and sprayed another torrent of flames at the Doton-user.

Jiraiya countered the fire-stream by enveloping himself in a protective cocoon of reinforced hair; his signature Hari Jizo. Safe inside his defenses, Jiraiya formed a familiar cross seal in order to create one kage bunshin. The shadow clone popped into existence outside of Jiraiya's hair defense before firing a toad oil bullet from its mouth. The deluge of oil covered Tetsuma's fire-spewing arm in a thick coating of an extremely viscous and flammable substance, forcing the Iron Demon to halt its attack lest it blow up its own limb.

The metal behemoth tried to use its other Katon projector, but Jiraiya's clone was quick to act, firing another oil bullet to take out Tetsuma's remaining arm. The bunshin followed up quickly by shooting an even larger oil bullet, this time covering all of Tetsuma in a layer of debilitating toad oil. Unable to move, the iron giant slowly sunk into Jiraiya's underwold swamp.

The armored titan struggled against the cocoon of oil, while the Senjutsu core in its chest started to grow in luminosity. Blue light seeped through the dark oil, signifying a massive build-up in energy. The air around the juggernaut started to shimmer as well, a side effect of the natural energy barrier surrounding Tetsuma, which was beginning to intensify.

Just as the puppet's head finally sank into the muddy swamp, a radiant nova burst from the swamp's depth, destroying it in a brilliant explosion and releasing Tetsuma. Sasori's puppet rocketed from the explosion, its chakra boosters at full blast, before launching a heavy Bakuton torpedo from its wrist at Jiraiya's location.

The projectile exploded upon impact, destroying Jiraiya's shadow clone and burning through the original's hair defense. The intense explosion kicked up a cloud of debris, from which the Toad Sage skidded from before halting a few meters away. His white, spiky hair was charred, and his clothes were blackened with ash. Other than that though, Jiraiya appeared to be unharmed.

With a grimace, Jiraiya spoke, "Damn it; this has been going on for too long. I don't know how much longer I can last."

"It doesn't even seem like you've done much damage to that thing either, Jiraiya-chan," added Fukusaku, "We should think of another avenue of attack."

"But what, Pa?" questioned his wife, "That thing has an invincible force-field that can withstand all of our jutsus, and even when we tried to absorb it, it just blasted us away. We've tried to evade and outmaneuver it too, but it's a lot faster than it looks!"

"Like hell that I know!" snapped Pa, "Stop whining and try to think of something, Ma!"

"I'm not whining, you old toad! This is-…"

"Shut up, the both of you!" interjected Jiraiya, "I have a plan. We need to use "that" jutsu!"

Fukusaku's eyes widened, "You want us to use "that"? But will we have an opening?"

"Don't worry," replied Jiraiya in a firm voice, while forming hand seals, "I'll make one! Kuchiyose: Yatai Kuzushi no Jutsu (Summoning: Food Cart Destroyer Technique)!" After he finished his last seal, a vast cloud of smoke popped into existence above the Iron Demon. From the white smoke cloud, a titanic toad summon descended at terminal velocity before landing and pinning the mechanical behemoth under its weight, having given it no time to evade. Upon impact, the ground ruptured as a miniature earthquake shook the area.

Taking advantage of his adversary's temporary loss of mobility, Jiraiya and the Two Great Sages began forming hand seals simultaneously, whilst gathering their highly potent Senjutsu chakra in preparation for a massive technique.

Meanwhile, a translucent shimmering effect began to manifest beneath the giant toad pinning Tetsuma to the ground. As the shimmering intensified, a bright, blue light erupted from beneath the giant toad, seeping out onto the ground. Upon reaching its critical point, the locus of light exploded outwards, blasting the hapless toad summon into the sky, where it dispelled in another pop of white smoke.

Jiraiya gave a shocked pause at this, as he didn't expect the armored puppet to escape from the weight of such a massive toad so soon. But he underestimated Tetsuma's ability to release and expand its barrier into an outward exploding shockwave of cataclysmic proportions.

Thankfully, he recovered soon enough to finish his hand seal sequence before Tetsuma could attack. In unison, Jiraiya and the Ni Dai Sennin all exclaimed, "Senpou: Goemon (Sage Art: Bath of Boiling Oil)!"

Goemon was a collaboration jutsu that could only be used by a minimum of three Senjutsu-users in unison. It began with Jiraiya creating a large volume of toad oil from his mouth, followed by the casting of a powerful Wind Release technique from Fukasaku in order to propel the oil, and finally, a Katon stream from Shima to ignite the oil.

The result is an enormous, fast-moving wave of super-heated oil. Upon contact, the super heated oil creates an inferno of such magnitude that, within an instant, the target and the surrounding area is reduced to cinders.

Not willing to test his puppet's durability against the deadly, blazing torrent, Sasori commanded Tetsuma to spray the oil bath with a fire-stream from its Katon projectors. The expected result was the oil's premature ignition, causing the burning wave to explode before it got too close to Jiraiya's desired target.

Yet, the resulting explosion was still close enough and powerful enough to launch Tetsuma into the air, leaving it open for Sage Mode Jiraiya to flicker in and slam a Rasengan into the giant's chest. Although the natural energy barrier served to protect Tetsuma from any real damage, the momentum from the attack sent Tetsuma plummeting to the ground. After crash landing, the iron behemoth skidded across the surface, rupturing the Earth and leaving behind a trail of destruction from its weight.

Not giving his enemy any respite, Jiraiya created a shadow clone in mid-air before using it as a platform to push off of and leap towards Tetsuma. He stretched out his hand in front of him, before gathering a tremendous amount of chakra. The azure chakra manifested visibly before rotating into a spiraling sphere of compressed energy. As Jiraiya hurtled towards the down juggernaut with utmost speed, the newly-formed Rasengan in his palm started expanding, growing larger and larger until it was several times wider than Jiraiya's entire body.

"Listen here, you metal abomination!" bellowed Jiraiya, addressing Tetsuma as the puppet finally managed to pick itself off the ground, "I admit; you've given me a great fight! A truly worth opponent, indeed! But not many can boast that they survived a deadly encounter with the legendary Gama-Sennin, known throughout all of the lands as the most renowned super-pervert in the world! And you shall not be one of them! It ends here; so says the great and gallant, JIRAIYA! CHOU…OODAMA…RASENGAN!"

Now, mere feet away from his target, Jiraiya thrusted his palm forward, launching the gargantuan Rasengan in his hand directly at the Iron Demon. In response, Tetsuma brought up its arms before focusing the bulk of its force-field around its armored hands. With another hot-blooded roar, Jiraiya drove his massive Rasengan further until it collided with Tetsuma, who immediately caught the enormous sphere of chakra with his barrier-reinforced gauntlets.

The momentum and force of the attack was too great, however, and Sasori's puppet started to skid backwards, its metal feet dragging into the dirt. To compensate for this, Sasori triggered the chakra boosters in Tetsuma's heels, allowing the juggernaut to halt Jiraiya's advance. The Toad Sage gasped audibly; shocked at the fact that his enemy was able to withstand his most powerful jutsu. With a grunt of effort, Jiraiya pushed downwards on his Rasengan in an attempt to crush the iron behemoth with it, but Tetsuma simply activated the boosters in its arms to counteract the extra force.

With the help of the barrier focused around its hands and the boosters firing in its feet and arms, Tetsuma was able to hold up the massive Rasengan. The two opposing forces seemed to be equal, neither one dominating the other.

Miles above the ground, Sasori pondered the current situation. It didn't seem like the two would be letting up anytime soon, and Sasori had a feeling that when they did, his puppet would be on the loosing end. That massive Rasengan the Sannin had thrown at Tetsuma was immensely powerful, and didn't seem to have lost any force after the juggernaut had caught it. Tetsuma was only barely holding on. Once its defenses were overwhelmed, the Iron Demon was done for.

Deciding that, if he was going to lose his new puppet, then he would take out the opposition with it, Sasori activated the overload function in Tetsuma's Senjutsu Core. This function was designed to remove all of the reactor's in-built limiters, allowing the entirety of its energy to be released at once.

In a few seconds, the tremendous amount of Sage chakra contained within the Senjutsu Core would be unleashed in a single, unidirectional beam of blue light. The beam would collide against Jiraiya's Chou Oodama Rasengan, resulting in a gigantic backlash of energy that would destroy them both, along with the surrounding area for kilometers in every direction.

As the bright light radiating from Tetsuma's Senjutsu Core reached its peak luminosity, Jiraiya started to panic as he detected the ridiculous spike in energy. It was far too late for him to do anything about it, however; all Tetsuma needed now was the final confirmation signal from its master, and then it could finally release all of the pent-up energy within its core, annihilating itself and its enemy.

When Naruto and Sasuke had finally returned to Tazuna's house after what Kakashi assumed was a long night of training, everyone present could see the almost visible tension between the two teammates. Although Naruto was supporting Sasuke as they walked in, not a single word was exchanged between the two, even when they sat down.

When they finally started eating, Sasuke simply stared at his food and consumed slowly, not bothering to even so much as look at his blonde rival. Naruto had a look of concern and guilt on his face, while he would occasionally give tentative glances in Sasuke's direction.

Kakashi's third student, Kurama, looked very much like she wanted to speak out and see what had gone sour between her brother and the Uchiha boy, but the stifling awkward silence that pervaded the room's atmosphere prevented her from doing so. It was quite the uncomfortable situation.

Finally, Naruto spoke, "Listen…Sasuke. I know you're giving me the cold shoulder, and everything, but I just wanted to let you know; I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what happened in the woods earlier…"

'Something happened in the woods?' mentally inquired Kakashi, 'I wonder what it was. It had to be something important considering the attitude Sasuke is giving Naruto. He's not the most talkative kid, but he's never completely ignored someone.'

"I-It was my first time…without my heavy clothes on," said Naruto, referring to his new weighted accessories, "I guess I was a little too rough with you."

Kakashi's brow rose at this, 'What are they talking about? Don't tell me they're…'

"But I honestly thought that you were ready for me," continued Naruto, "So I threw caution to the wind and I just…thrusted forward. You know."

Kakashi gave an awkward cough at Naruto's statement, although this went unnoticed by the two male genin. Meanwhile, Kurama was starting to catch on, as a deep red blush began forming on her whiskered-face.

'No way…Sasuke…and my brother…could they possibly be…'

"I guess I went too fast and too hard back then. But I didn't think you'd lose it all so quickly. You should seriously work on that stamina of yours," said Naruto, causing his sister's face to redden even further. Tazuna and his daughter Tsunami, who had been listening in, were both starting to feel very awkward. Tsunami was even sporting the same expression as Kurama.

"It's not about stamina!" snapped Sasuke, finally talking, "You were just too fast! You didn't even give me time to get ready and clench up or anything!"

"Well you did ask for it," replied Naruto, "And you could've asked me to hold back, or something along those lines."

"Shut up, Naruto. I don't wanna hear this coming from a guy who though I was gonna rape him," rebuffed Sasuke harshly. That last statement from Sasuke caused Tazuna to spit out some food in a comedic manner, and the rest of the room's occupants decided that they would stop eating, at least until whatever ridiculous situation had cropped up between the two boys was resolved.

"S-Sorry; I didn't mean it in that way, Sasuke. H-Hey, is your…well, you know; you're rear-end still sore from earlier,' asked Naruto, 'He did fall on his ass after I knocked him out, after all.'

Unable to take it any longer, the feverish, red-faced Kurama completely lost it. With a spurt of blood from her nose, the red-haired vixen was knocked back out of her chair. Thanks to his quick reflexes, Kakashi was able to catch his female student, but by then she had already fainted.

Naruto and Sasuke were both gaping at the display the Hokage's daughter had put on, while Hatake Kakashi simply stared at the limp redhead in his arms, with a look of abject horror on his masked face, "N-no, th-this can't be. My student…my little otouto…is a…is a…"

"…YAOI FANGIRL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"What the hell are you yelling about, Kakashi-sensei!" exclaimed Naruto in a panicked tone, "And what happened to my sister! The only time I've ever seen someone nosebleed like that is when I use my Oiroke no Jutsu."

Sasuke simply stared in disbelief at the unconscious body of his red-haired teammate, while mulling over his sensei's frantic ramblings involving "yaoi fangirls". If he recalled from his older brother's overdramatic lectures warning against this particular breed of fangirls, they were apparently aroused by situations involving male-on-male sexual interactions.

If Kurama was one as Kakashi had claimed, and her mind had been stimulated to the point of a nosebleed-induced coma, then that must mean…

'No, don't tell me; from the way Naruto and I were talking earlier…did you guys think we were…'

"I'm sorry Naruto," spoke Kakashi in a remorseful tone, "but I'm afraid to say that you're sister is now lost to us."

"What! What do you mean by that?" question Naruto with a distressing tone, puzzled by his surrogate brother's tone of voice.

"Look," continued the porn-lover, "I know you two were trying to work out some private issues between the two of you, and I'd rather not pry into it…but are you two involved together in something that may be a liability to this team. 'Cuz whatever it is, it's already caused Kurama to faint, and who knows what else it could lead to…"

Sasuke was about to strongly deny Kakashi's accusations when Naruto beat him to it, "What are you talking about, Kakashi-sensei? Nothing happened in the woods. Sasuke just challenged me to a spar to test his progress, and I knocked him out in less than five seconds."

"That was a cheap shot and you know it, dobe!"

"Oh, shut up, teme!"

"Wait! Hold on," interjected Kakashi, "So you two…didn't, well, do it, in the woods?"

Naruto paled before heaving over and vomiting his dinner onto the recently washed floor, causing a vein to pop in Tsunami's temple.

Seeing his blonde teammate in no condition to talk, Sasuke replied for him, "No, Kakashi…we didn't. And that's disgusting. Naruto's a guy and my teammate! I don't swing that way!"

"Could've fooled me, kid," interjected Tazuna.

"Why does everyone keep saying that!"

"Cuz it's true, teme!" taunted Naruto after recovering from his vomiting fit. Sasuke noted with disgust that there was still a bit of barely-digested food running down the side of his mouth.

"No one asked you! Go back to your puking, dobe!"

"Okay, I will! And this time it's gonna be on you!"

Meanwhile, as this was going on, a certain red-haired vixen was starting to stir from her temporary state of unconsciousness. After groggily opening her eyes, Kurama immediately noticed a sensation of faintness in her head, and the feeling of fresh, warm blood running down from her nostrils.

"Woah; what happen," muttered Kurama out loud, alerting the room's other occupants to her awakening, "I had this…really weird dream. Sasuke was giving my brother the cold shoulders, and apparently they did it in the woods."

"Kurama, that actually happened," deadpanned Kakashi, "You weren't dreaming. You just fainted."

"Not the part about the woods though!" interjected Naruto, "That was just a big misunderstanding, hehehe."

"Oh, that's good to hear," replied Kurama weakly, 'But why do I have this weird feeling of disappointment?'

Kakashi gave a deep sigh before addressing his team again, "I think it would probably be a good idea for you two to explain everything that happened in the woods. That way we can avoid any future…misunderstandings."

Sasuke and Naruto nodded, before going off into a retelling of what really went on in the woods. Sasuke recounted how he had managed to finally climb all the way to the top of a tree using chakra, and that afterwards, he wanted to test his progress. So he sought out Naruto, and asked the blonde to follow him into the woods, that way Sasuke could challenge him to a spar.

But Naruto had taken it the wrong way (just like everyone else in the room had), and it had cost Sasuke some time explaining to get the boy to finally agree to a spar. In which the Namikaze had promptly knocked him out in three seconds flat, not even giving the Uchiha time to react.

When everything was finally said and done, Naruto grabbed an arsenal of cleaning utensils to take care of the vomit he left on Tsunami's floor. When he was finished, he and Sasuke awkwardly went back to eating their meals, the same tension still present from before. The rest of the room's occupants decided to join them, and the whole fiasco soon became one that none of them would ever talk about ever again.

It wasn't for another half-hour until Kakashi broke the silence, "So, Sasuke; with all of the commotion earlier, I didn't get the chance to comment on a certain aspect of your story."

Sasuke's brow rose slight before the Uchiha responded, "Huh? What do you mean?"

"You said that you were able to climb all the way to top, which means you've successfully mastered the tree climbing exercise," continued Kakashi with his trademark eye smile, "And I haven't forgotten about you either, Kurama."

Kurama made a look before pointing at herself, puzzled.

"Yes, you Kurama; both your brother and I were there when you showed off your mastery of tree climbing. Although you lost focus at the end, I had a feeling that was a fluke and that you already have a great grasp on the whole thing. So, as of now, I'm officially allowing you and Sasuke to join us in protecting Tazuna-san, starting first thing tomorrow."

Kurama's face lit up at her sensei's words, and Naruto was beaming madly; happy for his twin sister. Even Sasuke had to smirk in pride for his own progress. The two Namikaze siblings gave each other shit-eating grins before high-fiving, and Tazuna and Tsunami were also partaking in the cheering and general merriment.

The tension from earlier seemed to have completely deserted the room.

"Why do you guys bother to try so hard! No matter how much you train, you're no match for Gatou!" loudly ranted a tiny voice from the doorway, "You can make any glorious claim you want, and work as hard as you want, but you can't escape the fact that…when facing those with power, the powerless will only be killed!"

And with that, the tension was back, stronger than ever.

Tsunami, Tazuna, Kakashi, Kurama, hell even Sasuke, were all gaping in shock at Inari's sudden outburst. The kid had been absent from the dinner table, so it came as a big surprise when Tazuna's grandson suddenly barged into the room while ranting his little head off. Only Naruto wasn't sporting a look of astonishment.

Instead, his expression was one of barely suppressed rage.

"Whatever kid, I'm not like you," snapped Naruto coldly. This only served to spur the little boy on even more.

"I'd hate to be like you!" screamed Inari, "You don't know anything about this land, my land, and what we've been through! Yet despite that, you're just being so nosy!"

Not even bothering to reply, Naruto simply rested his head on the table, showing his lack of acknowledgment or concern for Inari's words. Further enraged by this, Inari continued his rant, "What the hell do you know about me! I'm completely different from a guy like you!"

"You're always fooling around, making a big joke out of everything. You act so cheerful and happy-go-lucky, but honestly, that's only because you don't know anything about how rough or sad life can really be. You don't know anything about suffering!"

Finally, something in Naruto snapped. His pent-up anger and frustration with Inari went critical, as images of a bald-headed man and his bearded, tan-skinned partner appeared in his mind's eye.

The faint remnants of revolting memories flickered into consciousness; a feeling of water being poured over his head and the sensation of drowning as he struggled against unbreakable bonds, a mouth clamped shut as disgusting, unpalatable substance was shoved down his throat via a rubber tube, and the words "That's sick, Azusa. You're sadistic, but I don't really care as long as we're getting all the ransom money for this" were just some of the grotesque imagery and sensations that came to mind.

With a blood-curling scream, the Hokage's son stood up while slamming his palms against the table.

"Just go on and cry forever, then, you little brat! You're nothing but a sissy!" growled Naruto as he gave Inari the most terrifying face he could muster. Added to that was a flare of killing intent that had the pessimistic child wetting himself in abject fear, with a waterfall of tears and snot running down his face.

"N-Nii-chan, what the hell's wrong with you," stammered Kurama, unhinged by the fury present on her normally upbeat sibling's face, "He's just a kid."

But Naruto wasn't hearing any of it. His vision was seeing red as a cacophony of memories swirled through his mind, overwhelming his sense of self. Only the anger remained; if only to distract Naruto from the unbearable pain. He didn't know anything anymore; he didn't know why oh why he so very much wanted to, needed to, had to, smash the face in of this bawling, hat-wearing little boy in front of him.

Was it something he said, something he did, was it the color of his hat; Naruto didn't know. But it didn't matter. He would do anything to make the pain go away. And so, with a frenzied roar, Namikaze Naruto charged at little Inari, completely aware yet at the same time not at all aware that he was just about to punch the ever-loving shit out of a child not even ten years of age.

He didn't even make it an inch before Kakashi had shunshin-ed behind him and grabbed him by the wrist, before twisting his arms behind his back and putting him in an unbreakable hold. The speed it had happened at, and the sheer abruptness of it all, served to shock Naruto out of his rage-induced high.

"Well, Naruto, are you calm now?" whispered Kakashi into his earlobe after a while; his tone was neither threatening nor comforting. Chilled by his sensei's words, Naruto calmed himself, embracing the tranquility that was now suddenly invading his mind. It was surreal; just moments ago, he had been a raging berserker ready to punch out a little kid. But now, he was the absolute paragon of serenity. Maybe this was one of the one thousand jutsus that Kakashi had copied.

But as soon as that feeling of serenity had set in, it was instantly replaced with tremendous guilt. Guilt at what he was just about to do; what he was willing to do. And those memories; what were they, and where did they come from?

But worst of all, was the looks. Sasuke was giving him a look of suspicion, while Tazuna and Tsunami eyed him in contempt (he had nearly beaten up their grandson/son, after all). Kurama had concern written all over her face, but it was the concern and worry that made Naruto sick; he shouldn't have had to worry Kurama like that, ever.

And of course, there was Inari. The little squirt was horrified, eyes wide in fright and tears still having yet to dry. But there was something else there: disgust. It wasn't directed at Naruto. No, it was aimed at him self.

Before the blonde could ponder this any further, Inari had already run away, still bawling his head off. When Kakashi finally let go of his wrists, he turned towards him, and gave him a look. It wasn't a look of contempt, or suspicion, or even disappointment like he expected. It was a look of concern.

But it was unlike that of his sister's. Kurama's look was one of uncertainty; she was worried about something she didn't know, and that fear of an unknown was the root of her concern. But Kakashi's look; it was like he knew exactly what was happening. There was something the Copy-nin was aware of that Naruto wasn't. He could read it in the scarecrow's eye.

After holding his gaze for a few more oppressive seconds, Kakashi turned away and went off in the same direction as Inari. Now, Naruto was left virtually alone in a room filled with people; people giving him strange looks. He knew this feeling.

He felt like shit.

Despite being an advanced fuinjutsu-based artificial intelligence, even Rei had managed to lose of track of how many times her creator's wife, Namikaze Kushina, had paced back and forth across the workshop's floor in deep thought. It seemed that the crimson-haired sealing expert was truly at a roadblock when it came to deciphering the ancient scroll her husband had given her.

She didn't blame her though; nothing in Rei's own database matched the strange and highly complex sealing arrays displayed in the scroll. It was the first time a conundrum like this had ever presented itself to the A.I.

"I just don't get it, Rei! How come every seal in this Kami damned scroll, when broken down to their absolute most basic and fundament form, just lead to more headaches and more frustration for me. None of the cores match up; it's like they're written in an entirely different language!" ranted Kushina, "Which I know is not true, because all of the characters themselves are the same and legible to me. What is it; what am I doing wrong!"

"Maybe you're too bent on looking for sealing cores, master," suggested Rei, "Maybe there are none."

Kushina glared at Rei's projection before replying, "That's impossible, idiot! That's like having a number that, when factored completely, has no primes. Or like a piece of matter that, when disassembled at the subatomic level, leaves no protons, neutrons, or electrons behind. It just doesn't work that way, 'ttebane!"

Despite being a hologram, Rei still had the gall to wince at her master's volume. It didn't take a genius to tell that the redhead was reaching her boiling point. This whole issue with the seals was really something that neither Minato nor she had to deal with lately. Due to their experience levels, matters of fuinjutsu always came easy to the couple. But this was different, somehow. Kushina was stumped.

"Sorries much, master; it was just a suggestion. You're not going to throw a tantrum are you? Minato-kun wouldn't like that," reprimanded the A.I. half-teasingly.

Kushina scoffed at this, "Please, I'm not a child, Rei-chan."

"I know, I know; I'm just trying to take your past behavior and modus operandi in consideration," replied Rei, matter-of-factly, "You always did have a tendency to solve problems with your fist, when push came to shove. Bloody Red Habanera indeed."

Kushina sighed, "That's ancient history, and I hope you haven't been looking through my old academy files again! Those files are several times older than you are, so I don't know why you're acting like you were there!"

"If you say so, master. Now then; do you need anything else while you try and solve this frustrating quandary of a puzzle we have on our hands? I'm sure I can look up anger management techniques for you in my database."

"Oh, shut up, Rei," growled Kushina in response, "And as for needing anything, really, all I need is some peace, quiet, and time to think and I'll be go-WAIT! C-can you repeat that? Say that again!"

"W-What?"

"Repeat what you just said, Rei-chan," clarified the mother of two.

"Oh! I just…all I said was "I'm sure I can look up anger management techniques for you in my database". It was a joke, I swea-…"

"NO! Not that! What you said before!"

"Umm, "If you say so, master,"?"

"No…"

"Okaayyyyy then, you must mean when I asked "do you need anything else while you try and solve this frustrating quandary of a puzzl-…"

"THAT'S IT! That's the answer, dattebanne!" exclaimed Kushina while jumping up and down for joy. This puzzled Rei very much.

"Wha-what are you talking about, master?"

Kushina simply gave Rei a big, shit-eating grin before replying cheekily, "I think, Rei-chan…that I'm having an epiphany."

It never came.

The final confirmation signal that would allow Tetsuma to finish overloading its Senjutsu Core never came.

'Stand your ass down, puppet boy,' echoed the voice in his head, 'If you continue any further, both your puppet and Jiraiya will be destroyed.'

'My apologies, Choetsu-sama, but I believe that was the whole point. Killing Jiraiya was kind of what I was going for,' replied the Suna missing-nin, using his thoughts to respond to the Rikudou Hiraishin. Somehow, the blonde Rinnegan-user was communicating with him telepathically. And he had contacted the puppeteer just moments before he was going to send a final confirmation signal, via chakra string, to his armored puppet; allowing it to overload its own reactor and take out the Toad Sage with it.

Although he couldn't see it, Sasori had a feeling that Choetsu was shaking his head, 'Sorry, Sasori-chan, but I kinda need the old pervert alive. He still has a role to play in future developments, and not only that, but my father and grandfather would both go apeshit if he were to die. There's no reason for you to waste a perfectly good puppet to take out a guy I don't want or need dead!'

'If you say so, Choetsu-sama,' complied Sasori, unwilling to be the cause of the Kamikage's wrath, 'what would you have me do?'

The mental line was silent for a short second, before Choetsu replied, 'Just call off your puppet, leave the perverted hermit alone, and get your wooden ass back to Rain. Got that, puppet boy?'

Sasori gave the mental equivalent of a nod, before retracting the chakra string still attached to Tetsuma's back. With the line connecting it to its master now detached from it, the Iron Demon disappeared with a pop of white smoke, having become resealed within the metal finger at the end of the chakra string.

Without the juggernaut holding up Jiraiya's massive Rasengan any longer, the spiraling sphere of Sage chakra was driven into the ground, rupturing the Earth upon impacting and blowing up large amounts of debris. In the corner of her awareness, Shima sensed the metal finger containing a sealed Tetsuma within it, being reeled back into the sky.

Reacting quickly, the female Toad Sage lashed out with her unusual tongue. Thanks to the speed and flexibility of her slobbery appendage, Shima was successfully able to graze the finger with a lick, transferring the tracking seal on the tip of her tongue to the metal phalange.

The tracking seal was a "sticky-note"; a special seal invented by Namikaze Minato that was designed to transfer between surfaces on contact, hence its nickname. Sticky-notes came in handy in many situations, and this was one of them.

After Shima's tongue returned to her mouth, Jiraiya's Chou Oodama Rasengan drilled through the ground a little further before detonating. The humongous orb of rotating energy exploded, releasing a rapidly expanding shockwave of force that expelled outwards in every direction. This wave of destruction stretched out across the plain, carving deep into the crust and releasing a massive, spherical airburst that towered into the sky.

When it reached its zenith, the sphere was the size of a large mountain, shining with blue light that emitted pure power and irradiated the entire countryside. After a critical point, the sphere of destruction started to collapse on itself, getting smaller and smaller until the blue light had finally faded away. A crater, kilometers wide, was the only thing left behind.

At the center of the deep crater was the unconscious body of Jiraiya himself, no longer in Sage Mode. The Ni Dai Sennin was no longer present, having been dispelled back to their home realm during the light show.

A few minutes later, Jiraiya awakened with a grunt of discomfort. Sitting himself upright, the Toad Sage rubbed the soreness from his body before feeling a strange sensation originating from his right palm.

"What's this?" muttered the super pervert before taking a glance at his palm. There, he found the counterpart to the tracking seal "sticky-note" he had discreetly placed on Shima's tongue during the battle. It was active, which meant that the tracking seal itself had been successfully tagged.

Jiraiya smirked, "Thanks, Ma. That tongue of yours always comes in handy."

With a flash of azure, Kyokutanna Mode Sasori reappeared hundreds of meters above Amegakure no Sato, accompanied shortly by a sonic boom. Swiveling his mechanical "bit-wings" to face upwards, the Suna missing-nin re-ignited the powerful chakra thrusters, propelling himself down towards the surface. He made sure to lessen the thrust, that way his descent could be as smooth and gentle as possible.

His landing pad was at the top of the tallest skyscraper in Ame; Nagato's citadel. The suit's sensors easily detected the tall, blonde-haired figure waiting for him at the landing zone, accompanied to his side by a shorter, more feminine individual.

When he reached a specific altitude, Sasori cut the power to his wing thrusters, causing him to descend in free-fall. Once he was a certain height above the citadel's roof, Sasori briefly fired up the chakra repulsors in his palms and heels, easing his fall until his feet had finally touched down on the landing pad.

"Welcome back, Sasori-chan," greeted Choetsu with a smirk, "and good job on your first mission. Although, you didn't really have to engage the Gama-Sennin like you did; but I guess it made some decent entertainment for me, so I'm not really complaining."

Sasori's brow rose behind his metal faceplate, "You were watching the whole time, Choetsu-sama?"

"Of course!" was the blonde's exuberant reply, "How do you think I intervened before you almost killed the old pervert. I even had some popcorn to go along with the show!"

"Kami, you're ability to find amusement in completely serious situations is unbelievable," said Sasori before clamping a hand over his own mouth, "M-my apologies, Choetsu-sama, I didn't-…"

"No, no, that's fine!" interjected the True Rikudou, "You're getting some of your snark back, puppet boy. I like that. I don't know why you've been so stiff around me lately. Lighten up!"

The raven-haired twelve year old standing next to him, Shizuka, started to giggle, "Your armor is very cool, Sasori-san. May I try it on?"

Sasori, not having much experience with little girls, didn't really know how to take her question. Eventually, he found a voice and answered, "I'm afraid not, Shizuka-chan. This armor is custom-made for my unique body, so no one else but I can wear it."

Shizuka made a cute pouting face, causing Choetsu to chuckle. "Speaking of your suit, puppet boy; why don't you keep it on for a little bit longer? I need to barrow it for a sec."

Beneath his mask, Sasori's face scrunched up into an expression of puzzlement, "What do you mean, Choetsu-sam-…" before his arm suddenly moved of its own accord, with the glowing palm directly facing in Shizuka's direction. Sasori watched in horror as his chakra repulsor fired against his will, shooting out a chakra blast at the princess.

His fears proved unfounded, however, when Shizuka's eyes suddenly became ringed, concentric pools of mercury. An invisible force halted the blast of chakra, inches away from the Rinnegan-user's face, before reflecting it back at Sasori. It was only thanks to his armor's impressive reaction time and his own reflexes that the puppet master was able to avoid being blasted by his own attack.

As soon as he had sidestepped the first chakra blast, his other hand moved against his will and fired a second chakra blast at Shizuka, who deflected it to the side in the same manner.

"Amazing, Shizuka-chan. You've passed your final exam with flying colors, and I think its safe to say you've blown my mind away," praised Choetsu with a shit-eating grin, "To think that you've become so proficient with the Deva Path in in such little time; you're not even limited by a five-second cool down period for your Shinra Tensei. Although, to be honest, that whole "five-second" bullshit is nothing but a myth. The only reason Nagato's Deva Path was ever limited by that was because he was channeling his Rinnegan's power through a dead corpse."

Sasori narrowed his eyes behind his suit's faceplate, "Wait, so this whole thing was…nothing but a test? You had me fired a lethal weapon at a twelve-year old kid for the sake of a test?"

"Don't worry, Sasori-san," interjected Shizuka, not at all fazed by the earlier proceedings, "Choetsu-san told me about the test beforehand, so I was prepared, even though I didn't know exactly when he was going to start it. And I passed, didn't I? I think that's all that matters."

Sasori nodded, "If you say so. But still; what would you have done if she failed, Choetsu-sama?" Despite being an unrepentant murderer, with the Third Kazekage being one of his victims, Sasori wasn't very keen on unintentionally killing twelve-year old girls for the sake of a test.

"Oh, that's easy. I'll even give you a demonstration," answered Choetsu before turning towards Shizuka, "Do you trust me, your highness?"

Shizuka's Rinnegan eyes blinked before she replied, "I…yes; I trust you, Choetsu-san. What do you want me to do?"

Choetsu gave the raven-haired kunoichi a reassuring smile before answering, "Just close your eyes, and wait. I'm going to have puppet boy fire at you again, but this time, don't stop it with your Rinnegan, okay."

Shizuka nodded, before doing just that. With her eyes closed and her Rinnegan inactive, the princess of Nadeshiko was at Choetsu's mercy.

Then, the Rikudou Hiraishin turned towards Sasori, "Would you be a dear, Sasori-chan, and fire something deadly in lil' Shizuka-chan's direction. Or do I have to assert myself again?"

With a sigh and a hint of reluctance, Sasori brought up his arm and fired a Bakuton rocket from the wrist. The rocket flew through the air in seemingly-slow motion towards its target. To annihilate such a (relatively) fragile target, the rocket wouldn't even have to detonate. Just the kinetic impact alone would smash her head into a pulp.

But, when it came within inches of touching Shizuka's face, the most unusual thing happened. The air around the missile began to distort. It was like the fabric of space-time itself was becoming warped and twisted, as everything within a certain volume was being sucked in. Mere milliseconds later, the entire missile that Sasori had fired was completely absorbed and compressed into a pinhole-sized dimensional anomaly, leaving not a single trace of it left in the universe.

"Well there you go; nothing says "fuck you" to your offense better than some good-ol' fashioned Jikukan Ninjutsu," said Choetsu, his eyes now bearing the Juubi's dojutsu rather than the Rinnegan, "And as far as space-time techniques go, Kamui is pretty damn up there."

Sasori gaped for a moment at the Rikudou Hiraishin's impressive demonstration of his control over space-time, before quickly composing himself and filing the incident along with all of the other crazy/borderline impossible things that Choetsu had done.

"C-can I open my eyes now, Choetsu-san?"

"Yes, Shizuka; my little demonstration is over," answered the blonde time traveler, "And I hope you're satisfied, puppet boy. Why don't you take off that bulky armor of yours and get some R and R before you have to leave on your next mission."

Sasori nodded, "Yes, I-…wait! Another mission? Already!"

"Yeah, bummer isn't it. From now on, savor every vacation," advised the Kamikage, "We have lots of work to do."

Sasori sighed before releasing the Kyokutanna, causing each of the individual armor pieces to break off and float around him for a few moments, before becoming resealed within Sasori's under-sheath in a series of smoke clouds popping. Walking out of the ensuing smokescreen was the Suna missing-nin, covered in nothing but the black, futuristic under-sheath layer.

"Can I get any details on this next mission?" asked the Hoshikuzu member.

"Of course! It's even simpler than your last mission; just some bodyguard duty. I don't even expect you to get in any scuffles," explained Choetsu, "You'll be accompanying Konan-chan, who will be leading Ame's first diplomatic envoy to Konohagakure. I'll be coming along too, of course. Departure is tomorrow."

Sasori's brow rose in curiosity, "A diplomatic mission to the Hidden Leaf, eh? That's sounds like something that has the potential to be either extremely boring, or extremely…interesting."

Uzumaki Choetsu smirked, "You don't even know the half of it."

Somewhere in the Land of Rice Paddies:

"Hello…Danzo."

"Oh, what a "pleasant" surprise. Welcome, Minato, to my little hiding spot. How nice of you to visit this old man, living in the shadows…"

"Oh, cut the crap! I have no time for banter. Sometime between now and my next office appointment, you, Shimura Danzo, will breath your last."

"Is that a threat, Yondaime?"

"No, Danzo. That…is a promise."

"Very well then…"

TBC

A.N. I love the feeling of a newly published chapter in the morning. Well, technically it's night time for me right now, but you get the point. I hope Tetsuma vs Jiraiya was an enjoyable read for y'all, as well as the rather unfortunate misunderstanding that has plagued Team 7. Pretty soon, Choetsu will be returning to Konoha, and a whole new bag of fun will be opening.

As for the highly-anticipated Yondaime vs Danzo; I need some feedback from the readers to determine how some things will go. Do you guys want me to dedicate the entire next chapter to Danzo's last battle and eventual defeat (no, this is not a spoiler; it was obvious from the beggining), or do you want me to spread out the battle over the next few chapters while also touching over other sides of the plot. Essentially, option one would have no breaks or detours at all in the next chapter; just Minato and Itachi versus Danzo and ROOT.

So, let me guys know in reviews what you think! And prepare yourselves for the ultimate culmination of the entire Danzo plotline; this is the end! Of course, just because the outcome is set in stone, don't think for a second that the battle will be lackluster. I have a lot of awesome stuff planned for the final confrontation, and it shall be EPIC!