CHAPTER SIX
The High School Hosts are the Exclusive Type!
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Flat on his stomach and in his pyjamas, Kaoru ties a black-and-gold sunflower accessory on one of Usa-chan's ears.
One metre away from him, Hikaru and Tamaki are tumbling around on the other bed.
"Aren't they suggestive?" Kaoru whispers furtively. "They bathed together again. In the same tub, 'cos when Honey-senpai and I went in, only one tub was wet and the other was dry. Do you think it's right for Hikaru to lie on Tono like that, Usa-chan?"
Beady black eyes gaze back at him.
"Well, don't look at me like that! I don't have a problem with physical intimacy! On the contrary, I love the people I touch, and touch the people I love! That's why I'm worried about Hikaru falling for Tono."
Drowsily, Kaoru rests his head on Usa-chan's belly. "Is it hypocritical of me to do this? Or is it different because you are inanimate? Maybe Usa-chan doesn't find such behaviour abnormal because you've only ever slept on people or been slept on?"
Hikaru lifts himself from where he'd been draped on Tamaki. "Oi, Kaoru, are you talking to someone?! Why're you rambling to yourself?"
"Huh? Nothing."
Honey sets the camera down on the sidetable and slides into the spot beside Kaoru with a terribly knowing air about him.
It's 9:19 pm. The four of them are lounging around, waiting for the other two of their party to come out of their baths before lights out. The twins' massive ensuite has double of everything, the halves of the bathroom mirroring the other, and they've gone through their daily ablutions two-by-two. Kyouya had gone last to retain the heat of the water for longer, and Mori had generously let the rest of them go first.
At the click of the bathroom lock, Hikaru scrambles off the bed.
By the time Mori emerges, rubbing a towel over his head amidst a cloud of humidity and fresh soap scent, Hikaru is wielding the hairdryer and comb, gesturing for him to sit at the dresser.
Kyouya strolls to the bed, his towel looped over his shoulders. "Why don't I get such service?"
"Do you want such service, Kyouya-senpai?" Hikaru asks. "I do it for Mori-senpai because it makes me cry to see him use a hairdryer."
Kaoru descends into a laughing fit as Mori tilts his face upwards to give Hikaru a dull stare.
"Takashi doesn't have Hika-chan's or Kao-chan's expertise," Honey giggles. "Kyou-chan probably doesn't either."
"Completely wrong direction of airflow," Hikaru shudders. "It needs to be directed down the hair shaft from the roots to the ends! Luckily Mori-senpai usually lets his hair dry naturally and gives it lots of time to actually do that – Haruhi is the worst, I tell you, she goes to sleep even when her hair's still wet! The horror! You have to make sure she doesn't do that, Tono!"
Tamaki nods resolutely at the ceiling. "That girl – no regard for these things at all. What if she catches a cold?"
"A cold is a viral infection," Kyouya lectures, "and it cannot be contracted unless Haruhi has had contact with the virus."
Kaoru opens his mouth to say something and Kyouya gives him the evil eye. He snickers, having had this exchange with Kyouya before – and of course Kyouya has a comeback at the ready because he has been known to fall asleep with damp hair once or twice, often from sheer exhaustion, and he wakes up with headaches that behooves everyone around him to tread carefully.
"It's not right," Hikaru insists. "Hair must be diligently cared for! It's the crowning glory of a person's appearance!"
"Quite. So why don't I get such service?"
"Say 'please'."
"It's my birthday."
"Kyouya-senpai, you can be such a…" Hikaru hunts around for a less insulting word.
With a tolerant sigh, Kaoru crawls out of bed, snags his hairdryer and starts on Kyouya's hair.
"Kaoru! You totally spoil him!"
Kyouya smiles smugly.
"It is his birthday," Kaoru says placatingly. Anyway, he'd had to dry his senior's hair during the times he passed out; it's not like this is new to him.
Tamaki sits up. "Kaoru, it's not good to spoil Kyouya. Give him an inch and he'll take a yard."
"You have me confused with yourself, Tamaki," Kyouya parries pleasantly.
"Tama-chan and Kyou-chan are always pushing the boundaries."
"Are you in a position to say that, Mitsukuni?"
Kaoru cracks up helplessly – after a moment, his friends chime in.
"It's just hair, guys."
Purple eyes like transparent tinted glass, Tamaki asks, "Is it? How much have you spoilt Kyouya today, Kaoru, I wonder."
Damn it. Kaoru almost drops the hairbrush; Tamaki always takes him by surprise – always, after all these years.
Hikaru flicks off his hairdryer.
"Do you have something you want to say to us, Kyouya? Like why Kaoru suddenly reorganised the club?"
Refusing to remove the sound of his own hairdryer from the equation, Kaoru cries, "Everything that I have done, I did because I wanted to, okay? I admit I should have discussed it with all of you, but, look, I found a way to solve the problem of the open interviews and I wanted to strike before news could travel and the exam hiatus was upon us so there was no time to – "
"Quiet, Kao-chan."
Kyouya reaches over and switches off the appliance at the main socket, plunging them into charged silence.
"I can show you! I have the emails from concerned parents and students who want us to reform the club under a less contentious name!" Kaoru says edgily, thankful that he had gotten Hacker-san to forge some emails as a precaution.
"Suuuure, Kaoru, it all makes sense now!" Hikaru says sarcastically. "I can't believe we didn't buy it before!"
"Hikaru, don't be a jerk," Kaoru warns. "I wanted those parents to think well of me, okay? Like you said, I'm such a suck-up, why wouldn't I make use of this opport – "
"Kao-chan, quiet. Out with it, Kyou-chan."
"Honey-senpai, it's true!" Kaoru asserts. "See how I got your mother and Tono's mother to benefit my family? Who knows what I can get from these – "
"Kao-chan/Kaoru!" Honey, Tamaki and Hikaru snap simultaneously.
"No!" Kaoru stands his ground even as he shrinks back. His friends are too shrewd by half – obviously they can't be fooled and Kyouya knew it, that's why he chose not to act and Kaoru is the one who put that in jeopardy yet he promised his senior that it's his secret to reveal in his own time – "No! I did it for selfish reasons and I don't want you to pry! If you don't like it you can take back the club but stop asking!"
Slightly breathless from his outburst, Kaoru stares at the carpet with his fists clenched by his sides. Morosely, he mourns, "Wasn't the point of this party for us to take things easy? How're we going to sleep now?"
"How can I take things easy when you're acting like this?" Hikaru counters. "Do you even realise you just said a bunch of crazy things?"
Tamaki targets his best friend. "Kyouya, are you really going to let Kaoru take the rap for this?"
Kyouya had been watching the confrontation, absorbing everything attentively.
"It has nothing to do with Kyouya-senpai!" Kaoru yells, frustrated. "Tono, will you just – "
A hand seizes his wrist. Enough, Kaoru.
Enviably self-possessed, Kyouya returns to the task of polishing his spectacles with a corner of his towel.
"I'm sorry," Kaoru gasps, pained. "This is all my fault, isn't it? I shouldn't have – I – I panicked and I couldn't let you – this was the way that occurred to – "
"Enough," Kyouya repeats.
It is the gentleness and not the word that stuns Kaoru.
A flash of a tiny smile. "Ah, finally."
Kyouya pops his glasses back onto his face and sweeps a glance over the occupants of the room. "It was to be my last host club session today. My father thought it inappropriate for me to continue my membership in light of his ongoing matchmaking efforts and ordered me to quit. I could have concealed this from you all the way up till the beginning of the third trimester and was prepared to do so, but it seems that I no longer need to."
From their expressions, the four of them had guessed as much.
"Ootori-san no longer requires you to quit?" Tamaki double-checks.
"Yes, I can serve out my time until graduation under the new club."
It worked!
Kaoru wants to dissolve; he's so relieved. He should call Ootori-sama to thank him.
"And Kao-chan introduced the new club because he knew about it?"
"Apparently," Kyouya says meaningfully, scrutinising Kaoru with that invasive Ootori technique.
"Yeah, Kyouya-senpai was as shocked as the rest of us," Hikaru observes. "Meaning you didn't find out from him, Kaoru. What's going on?"
"I have no right to talk about it," Kaoru says shortly.
"Okay," Hikaru says sceptically, "I can't even describe how much I refuse to accept that, but putting it aside for now, dare I ask why Mother randomly decided to host two parties?"
"I requested; to repay Tono for destroying his club," Kaoru replies.
Annoyed, Hikaru lashes out, "That's overkill!"
Oh, Kaoru thinks, of course. Shit.
To his brother he says, Later, Hikaru. I'm sorry, trust me.
Hikaru signals his agreement using their private twin bond. Out loud, he says, "Not that I don't want to spend the holidays with Haruhi, but they just sprung the trip on us! Did you or did you not make it happen, Kaoru?"
"I did," Kaoru confirms. "I thought it would be nice?"
"Nice? Such extreme lengths for something 'nice'?"
"Yes! Yes, okay?" Kaoru throws his hands up in the air, spins on his heel and heads towards the door.
The five of them call his name.
"I'm going to study," Kaoru says, "since no one is interested in sleeping."
"Don't run away!" shouts Hikaru, thoroughly pissed off.
By virtue of height, Mori's strides are longer than Kaoru's – he overtakes him and stations himself at the exit, bottom pressing against the door to keep it shut and arms crossed grimly.
Levelly, Kaoru closes his eyes and becomes hollow and still like the dead, asking, "You really want to fight?"
It sparks Hikaru's ire instantly. "I hate it when you do that!"
Tamaki goes to him to soothe him, attempting to arrest any escalation in the rising antagonism.
"He does that, Tono! Like he's not to blame when he's all, 'if you want a fight I'll give you one' and he goes all silent and sad like it's my fucking problem and I should just fucking deal with it! It drives me mad!"
Hurt and anger are plain in Hikaru's voice – it causes an agonising twinge in Kaoru's heart and makes him want to relent. He can feel himself softening towards his brother, and he turns around to go to him, to apologise. To his surprise, Kyouya is there too, brushing Hikaru's fringe back and whispering something to him to ameliorate his tempestuous emotions.
Kaoru doesn't want to analyse that very real flare of jealousy at the sight. Of who, for what, he doesn't know. His unstyled hair cascades around his face loosely when he lowers his head, obscuring him from the world.
"Shh… I asked for the holidays with Haruhi, Hikaru," Kyouya confesses lowly – it carries through the noiseless room. "All right? As I thought I'd have to leave the club, I wanted to go on vacation with all of you and the second-year trip would have interfered with that. I had no idea that Kaoru knew about the other relevant details and he must have deduced my true motives, resulting in this current situation."
Kaoru senses his brother's eyes on him but he doesn't raise his head.
"Kyouya-senpai stood there all day today, knowing it was your last day, and you didn't say anything?" Hikaru calls him out on it. "If it wasn't for Kaoru, you would have left us and we would be completely unaware. Why are the both of you such idiots?"
Kyouya looks at Hikaru, amused by the insolence.
"Exactly," Mori seconds the sentiment.
"Yes," Tamaki concurs exasperatedly. "If you'd only said it, we would've understood. We understand now. Isn't it because you want us to enjoy this weekend, that's why neither of you brought it up?"
"And even when the game was up, Kyou-chan and Kao-chan kept resisting?"
Kyouya sighs. "Like Hikaru, I was trying to create a perfect memory."
"Unlike Hikaru," Mori dissents.
"Isn't it, Takashi? Kyou-chan's memory comes at the expense of your pain now and our guilt later."
Kyouya never wastes his energy on battles that will end in certain defeat. "I'm sorry. There's still time for it to be perfect?"
Soberly, Tamaki says, "Kyouya, look at Kaoru."
Somewhat irked by that doggedness, Kaoru says with a hint of brazen pizzazz, "What? You lot have given Kyouya-senpai a slap on the wrist and he's apologised, so isn't everything fine? Now that the story's come out, can we go to bed?"
The amusement is back in full force – this time shared by all five of them.
"… What?" Kaoru asks cautiously, backing away a little.
Instead of answering him, Kyouya marches up to him and takes his hand. "Whatever the time is, I suspect Honey-senpai must be tired. Go to sleep, all of you. Kaoru and I are going to have a quick chat about how he found out – he's probably afraid to publicly admit that he's been snooping through my affairs – no, Hikaru, nothing untoward will happen to him – and we will return after he has given me a full account. Please don't make me sleep beside Tamaki or Hikaru; I'd like to wake up without bruises. Otherwise, goodnight, everyone."
Kaoru is led out of the bedroom amidst a cheery symphony of, "Goodnight!"
.
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In the corridor en route to wherever Kyouya is bringing them to, Kaoru digs his heels in.
Kyouya tightens his grip.
"Please don't make me tell you," Kaoru pleads. "I'd fully intended to, and I will, but not this weekend."
Kyouya pulls him along adamantly. "Did you hear nothing of what Honey-senpai said? I don't want to be blissfully ignorant only to regret it subsequently."
"I want you to be happy!"
Abruptly pausing, Kyouya smiles with a rare warmth. "You've made that abundantly clear today. Unfortunately, this implies that I will be made unhappy by the truth, making it more imperative than ever that I know it."
Kaoru curses at himself mentally. Careless, too careless.
"Don't do that," he admonishes. "You've been tormenting yourself since club."
"I was worried you'd be angry," Kaoru says despairingly.
"Angry?" Kyouya questions, rich and velveteen. "Are you looking at me properly?"
Kaoru actually ducks his head instinctively. "More like I can't bear to look."
"… In case I happen to be angry?" Kyouya laughs, and Kaoru scowls at him.
Very seriously, Kyouya forces him to meet his gaze. "I was, I'm sorry, and thank you. You and Hikaru have given me priceless gifts."
Kaoru smiles tentatively. "Really?"
"Really."
A lovely feeling unfurls in the pit of Kaoru's stomach. He has the strangest urge to giggle like someone with an adolescent crush.
"Now, oblige me further?"
Kaoru huffs. "You, Kyouya-senpai, are a conniving, villainous lowlife."
"Am I? I like the two adjectives, however I cannot see how the noun is applicable to me."
With mild incredulity, Kaoru stares at him before deciding it's not worth it to argue. Their roles reversed, Kaoru steers them to the study and fetches the box.
"Kiyomi-san gave these to me."
Kyouya immediately goes on high alert. "Why? When? Tell me everything."
He does, relating the events in as much detail as he can. When he finishes his tale, he can tell that he's essentially smashed his senior's sense of peace despite the lack of outward reaction.
Deep in thought, Kyouya rifles through the practice papers.
On impulse, Kaoru reaches out miserably to smooth his frown. "I regret telling you already."
Kyouya catches his hand. "Next time, tell me without delay. Understand? Without delay. Pick up the phone, send an email, come to my class – whatever works."
"Okay."
"Do you want to be tutored by Kiyomi-neesan?"
"No!" Kaoru hurriedly denies. "It's… excruciating. Like walking on eggshells. Knife-edged eggshells. Barefooted."
Kyouya arches an eyebrow. "That bad? You did say that she refined your understanding of the scientific and mathematical concepts."
"Yeah, um," Kaoru winces.
"Say it."
"Kiyomi-san is brilliant, but, you know, at the same time she works on my weaker subjects, she and Yuuichi-san kind of – well, tear down my stronger subjects. It doesn't matter though, it's probably just a strategy."
Kyouya's eyes widen. "How?"
"It's nothing, Kyouya-senpai. I know better than to internalise it, so – "
"Kaoru, what did I say not five seconds ago? Tell me."
"They just, I guess, dissect all of my work in the languages and humanities, and… compare me to Tono for every single assignment."
It's not quite alarm reflected back at Kaoru, but there's definitely unease.
"Presumably arriving at the opinion that Tamaki is superior?"
Kaoru nods. "More or less."
Kyouya is rather pale – originally Kaoru assumes it is due to this disquieting news, and it is only when he sees his senior's white-knuckled hands that he realises it is fury.
"It's really okay, Kyouya-senpai," he says consolingly.
"It is not okay," Kyouya replies curtly. "You outscored me in English; how dare they devalue your work to get to me."
Kaoru grins. "Don't let it get to you, senpai."
Dourly, Kyouya tosses the papers back into the box. "Do them anyway, they're good for you. I'll find a way to remove you from their clutches."
"Yes, Kyouya-senpai," Kaoru says like marshmallow coated in sticky candy, trying to appease him. "I suppose I must be extremely special if an attack on me can incur Kyouya-senpai's wrath."
He chuckles. "That tone is still ineffective."
"Really?" Kaoru asks teasingly.
"Really."
"You're awful to me," Kaoru says bluntly. "I don't know why I bother. At least Honey-senpai pretends to fall for it."
Kyouya's eyes darken with mischief. "It's because I'm extremely special."
Affronted, Kaoru stalks back to their bedroom with their resident evil overlord trailing behind him, emanating an aura of schadenfreude.
Stealthily entering the room, they find Honey snug under the blankets on Kaoru's bed, Mori slumbering like a plank of wood beside him, and Tamaki and Hikaru in a contented sprawl across the remaining space.
"My, my," Kyouya sighs.
"It's possible to arrange Hikaru's limbs without waking him," Kaoru whispers, climbing up where the two beds meet and squeezing himself into the small void between Mori and Hikaru to demonstrate the veracity of his claims. He straightens Hikaru out and heaves him closer to Tamaki, hoping that Tamaki doesn't get kicked off in the middle of the night by Hikaru like Kaoru was.
"Not so much Tamaki." Despite that, Kyouya proceeds to make his best friend less of a starfish. Tamaki does rouse marginally, regains a decent degree of consciousness to haul Hikaru in his direction and knocks himself out again, mumbling something incomprehensible about homemade onigiri to Kyouya.
Kyouya circles around to place his spectacles on the table beside Honey instead of the one beside Tamaki. They wriggle under the covers, Kaoru taking Hikaru's other side as Mori is the ideal bed companion for people with low blood pressure.
Excessively thrilled, Kaoru fends off the approach of sleep to savour the experience of being cocooned with five of the most precious people to him, his high spirits dampened only when Hikaru drops/smacks an arm on his abdomen.
Kaoru twitches and squeaks, biting back a yelp.
In the dim light, he can see Kyouya smirking insufferably. In response, he scrunches his features into a sad pout.
With a rustle, Kyouya lifts the blankets in invitation.
"Really?" Kaoru mouths.
Really.
He worms his way in beside Kyouya, joining his seniors in their safe harbour. Even overpopulated, it's likely he'll sleep better in this bed. Lying on his right, he studies Kyouya until Kyouya brushes a hand over his eyelids to compel him to close them.
There is a moment right before Kaoru drifts off where he thinks he must have hallucinated cool fingers skimming across his cheek.
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Notes
The hosts are very unashamed about sharing a bath, room, etc. because of several reasons: (a) as they do cosplays regularly, I assume they change together very often and would have seen everything there is to see already; (b) they are all extremely attractive individuals with very high self-esteem and confidence in their physical appearances; (c) the onsen/hot springs culture in Japan is very strong even to modern day, and members of the same biological sex often soak in the same onsen together – clothing is typically not allowed at all (meaning nude), and people have only a small handkerchief-sized washcloth with them. Of course modesty and shyness exists everywhere even for countries with a communal bath culture, but – come on, the hosts?
:D
So close. So, so close...