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19

Of Breaking a Promise, Stars and a Wish

Kiku

Dawn came much too early today.

I sank back into my hammock, feeling calmer than I had in days, when I felt something brush against my spine.

I turned around and couldn't help chuckling to myself.

Yao was seated atop his trunk, his dozing figure slumped over my hammock. His head rested in the crook of one arm, and the other hand had rested atop my back. He was muttering and caressing in his sleep.

"You really meant it when you said you wouldn't leave me", I smiled.

Slowly and steadily so as to not arouse him from slumber, with a few difficulties and grunts on my part, I hoisted him off the trunk and back into his own hammock.

Yao had made a promise.

He promised to never leave me, and I know he'll want to keep that promise; see through it all the way down to the last second of our lives together, and follow through each and every word.

But now…

I couldn't help feeling selfish.

As much as I wanted to deny it, Yao had a whole life ahead of him.

He is still a soldier, and what is raising a soldier for if not to make him stronger?

He had a bright future awaiting him, that I was more than sure of. He would grow up into a fine soldier; blossom into a handsome, strong and courageous young man, and serve his country in an army who would most definitely close their doors on a Japanese boy, lover or otherwise.

Wang Yao had a life ahead of him, and as much as I wanted to deny it, that life would have absolutely no room for me.

Even if growing up to be a soldier would not be so, I knew we'd never be able to stay together anyways.

Men were not made to be a lover of men; not in this world, in this time and place.

It was a cruel twist of fate.

There was just no place for me in this world; there was just no place for me in his world.

"Someday… I will have to let him go", I thought aloud, twigs and brambles that littered the overgrown path crunching underfoot.

With a sigh, I leaned against the cherry tree.

Above me, the morning sun boasted its red amongst the star-spangled blush of summer dawn.

Someday those stars will not be visible anymore.

It cannot be summer forever, can it?

Someday, by the time the sun has awaken, by then the stars would have already blink their hasty goodbyes. The dawn would mean nothing but scattered remnants of a past which can never return.

He promised he would never leave me alone. But I realized, with all the pain I could ever feel gnawing at my chest, that there will come a time when he will be forced to break that promise.

The sun would always belong to the day. The stars would always belong to the night.

"… And we can never be together."

I looked down at our flag, clutched in my hands. Even there, the yellow stars were beginning to fade away.

I held it to my chest and cried.

Already it felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces.

The cliff felt unbearable that evening; the cliff where a million and one things had happened between Yao and I; where a flash of the many beautiful memories we shared peered out of every nook and cranny wherever I glanced.

Hence, once I was certain that today's drills had ended and I was well out of their commander's radar, I had returned to the tent.

It felt good to be alone, with no company but the gloomy sunset that filtered through the little holes created by the tent's age, as well as the desperate little creatures that had come and gone through them.

It felt good to be away from the hearty laughter of the feasting soldiers, with only the summer breeze to rock my hammock.

"Honda?"

I sat up just in time to glimpse the tent flap carefully being pushed aside as a tall, robust figure in a cast peering in cautiously.

"Oh… Good evening, Gua Feng", I managed a small smile.

"Good evening", Gua Feng returned, his smile curving up at the ends slightly in amusement, "hm – so here you were this whole time. I was wondering where you were when Yao excused himself from the table in a hurry, and then went toppling helter-skelter back a few seconds later.

"Y-Yao went…"

The confusion must've showed in my face, for a moment later Gua Feng hastily waved his good hand in my direction. "Oh no – it's not what you think Honda! Hear me out; so we were all, like, eating and stuff, before our man Yao there came crashing back into camp screaming about how you'd disappear. Man, you should've been there to see it! I'd never seen Yao act so crazily in all the year's I've known him; the man was practically flipping tables and digging about everyone's tents looking for you! Honda, you should've seen his face! It was all like – " to accentuate his point, Gua Feng pulled a fine imitation of a carp out of water, complete with a gaping mouth and bulging eyeballs.

I could almost imagine it too. The thought had even yanked a jolly good load of chuckling out of my mouth.

Yao.

I haven't seen him since this morning, when I'd discovered he had fallen asleep over my hammock.

"Yup! It's out of the ordinary when you two aren't together", Gua Feng grinned, "he'd spent hours searching for you, Honda. Nothing we said would calm him down."

"R-really?"

A part of me felt guilty that I had disappeared without a word.

Another part – the stronger, whinier part that constantly yelled in my ears and tugged at my chest whenever it surfaced, didn't feel like seeing him at all.

Especially not now.

"Hey, Honda", Gua Feng started, snapping me out of my train of thoughts.

"Oh! Y-yes, Gua Feng?"

"Is… Did something bad happen between the two of you? You and Yao, I mean", he ventured, scratching his nape awkwardly.

"Eh? O-of course not; nothing happened!" I blurted.

"Oh, that's a relief then", Gua Feng nodded, "Make sure nothing happens to that special bond of yours, alright?"

"I will do my - … Wait, s-special bond?" I gasped.

Did Yao tell anyone? Did I spill anything by mistake? At that moment, I'd wanted to ask Gua Feng a million questions: did anyone else know? What did they feel - say, about it? Was it normal? Are you alright with it?

How did you know!

"It was pretty obvious after a while, really", Gua Feng admitted, as if reading my mind. "However, Xiao Ming and I didn't catch on as fast. I can't help feeling that our little Lou was the first to piece together the whole picture.

"However! That's not important. What's most important is that you keep that relationship with Yao steady. Make it last, Honda; make as many happy memories as you possibly can", he said, and I could tell that he'd said it sincerely from the heart.

"I… I'll try", I murmured.

"I know you can! You're not that type of person", Gua Feng patted me on the back before, with a final nod, starting out the tent once more, "you'd proven that to us all –

"Oh!" Surprising me, his head popped into the tent for a second time, "in case you want to know, Yao is at that old cliff if you need him. Lou had told him to wait for you there, just in case you'd show up."

And like a gust of wind, he was gone.

For a moment, I simply stared at where Gua Feng had stood by the entrance to the tent; watched the tent flaps wavering in the evening gust, like hands that beckoned me to come closer.

My legs seemed to suddenly possess a mind of its own.

It got off the hammock, placing itself firmly into my boots.

Out of the tent I went, my legs carrying me into the overgrown path, twigs crunching underneath and flora rustling overhead.

Only when I had reached the end of the path did I regain control.

I now had the choice to either turn back, or go forward.

You're not that type of person…

… Gua Feng had a point.

So this time, I decided to take the step forward.

Out of the path and onto the cliff –

– And had the very breath snagged from my throat.

I had been on the cliff countless on times in morning light, but this was much, much different.

The cliff seemed to have take on a mystical, alluring atmosphere beneath the dark blanket of the night sky. Now that the sun had completely set, the tall grass and wildflowers glowed amidst the pitch-black, glistening with dew. The cherry trees waved their magnificent boughs in a mysterious summer dance, scattering its remaining blossoms to make room for the new green shoots that had begun peeping out from the smooth bark. In the distance, the forests and groves slept under the glow of a crescent moon, as the river continued it's descent to the oceans beyond.

Where once everything was bursting with zeal, awakening under the light of a blazing sun, the world was plunged in the harmony of slumber once more.

To complete the picture, standing beside the cherry tree perched at the edge of the cliff was Yao.

He turned around to shoot me a grin that spread warmth to the very core of my being, his amber eyes set ablaze by the lantern clutched in his hand.

"Good evening my dear Kiku", he executed a low bow, "welcome to my domain. Come – the stars await us", he said, beckoning me closer.

I stepped cautiously, torn between making a dash for the trees or to Yao, before sitting down at the edge of the cliff beside him, where he slung an arm over my shoulders.

"The cliff looks so much more different at night", I said, voicing my thoughts.

"That is because the sun is asleep", Yao beamed, before pointing towards the sky, "but look what isn't."

I gazed at the sky and gasped in delight.

Laid before me was a celestial carpet, spangled with thousands of glimmering stars, splayed out in clusters of milk-like sprays.

"The stars!" I breathed.

Yao nodded, "the other side of our flag…

"Hey Kiku, would you like me to tell you a story?"

I nodded, resting my head atop his chest.

"Once upon a time, on a night just like this one", Yao began, "'twas the goddess of weaving, daughter of the heavenly emperor himself. The humble goddess had the task of weaving the celestials; the silver path of stars we see now are one of her many masterpieces. However, the goddess also had other interests besides weaving stars. Whenever she had the chance, she would don her special robes, which enables her to descend down to earth, and bathe with her sisters.

"Coincidentally, on a cloudless night when she was doing just that, a boy and his ox companion were passing by. As they were doing so, he caught sight of her – unintentionally, of course", he quickly added, evoking a brief giggle on my part "and was succumbed to love immediately. He had seen the manner of how her sisters had fled back to the heavens, so he knew that all he had to do for her to stay was to take her robes and hide it. The goddess could not return to the heavens and thus, having no place to go and no one to turn to, allowed herself to be led home by the ox boy.

"Years later, they both fell in love and were married", Yao said with a smile, staring into my eyes as he did so. "Alas, one day, the goddess found the robes her husband had hidden long ago in a box. Yearning to see her father once more, she flew back to the heavens with her husband's permission. Little did she know that her father had been keeping a close eye on her from his celestial palace. Determined not to lose his daughter once more, he casted an impenetrable sea of stars, separating the goddess from her husband.

"The lovers wept and wept for days on end, until the heavenly emperor could no longer bear to see them so distressed – "

" – and so, once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh month, the sea of stars were separated, enabling the couple to see each other again", I finished.

Yao's eyes widened. "You are familiar with the legend, Kiku?" he asked.

"It reminded me of one of the stories my mother used to tell me", I smiled at the memory, "every year before she left, when I was a child attending the star festival, mother would hand me a slip and ask, every time, without fail: 'what would you like to wish for, Kiku?' I would tell her I wished the ox boy and the goddess could have more time together. I suppose it never did came true, but every year I'd wish for it all the same."

"You sound like a sweet little child", Yao chuckled. "Hm… But perhaps your wish did came true Kiku. Perhaps, secretly, the goddess heard your wishes, and has weaved herself a bridge to cross the ocean of stars. Perhaps she's with her husband right now, stargazing. Just like us", Yao said with a peck on my forehead.

"Perhaps so", I beamed.

"… Kiku, you know what?"

"Hm?"

"Let us pretend it's the star festival right now. Let us each make a wish."

"Right now? Is that even possible?" I asked.

"Why not?" Yao shrugged, before covering my eyes with his hand, "now, make a wish, and I'll make one too."

After a moment of silence passed by, Yao removed his hand and we kissed again under the stars.

I could guess what he wished for.

He probably thought I wished for the same.

But I didn't.

I wished the ox boy and the goddess could have more time together.

I'm going to stop this right here for now… Mainly because it's way past midnight where I am, and my eyelids are threatening bloody murder if I don't hit the hay right now.

I hope you've all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did! :D By the way, the story Yao told Kiku is the legend behind 'tanabata matsuri' (タナバタまつり), or the 'star festival'. It's a pretty festival celebrated in Japan on the seventh day of the seventh month to commemorate the one-night reunion of the goddess of weaving (the constellation Vega) and the ox boy (the constellation Altair). It's a sweet celebration really, where you get to write wishes on paper and hang them up on bamboo to be burned later on. After further research, I found out that there are Chinese and Korean versions of this legend as well, and since I was confused about which to put in here, I decided to just mix the whole lot of them together, ha-ha!

Oh, and as a foreword, brace yourself for a bit of couple complication up next!

Red chrysanthemums to the weaver goddess and the ox boy!

-Plumeria hi