Chapter 21 The Play is the Thing

The play had been surprisingly good, for a group of high school kids. Henry had handled the few technical glitches with what Leonard considered 'professional demeanor' and Henry had done exceptionally well in the small part that he had played. After the play Donna had received a call from Emily in order to invite everyone back to her house for coffee and desserts. Paul had taken one look at the puppy dog eyes of his daughter and acquiesced. They had all followed Donna out of town into a small community just north of the city. Leonard was mildly surprised to find that Emily lived in a quite docile community.

Emily had been the perfect hostess and everyone had settled down with a coffee or hot chocolate. Leonard remembered that Emily had said she had to stay home for hr daughter so he asked, "Should we try to keep as quiet as possible, so we don't wake up…" he had to search for the girls' name in his memory, "…Abigail."

"No need to worry about that. Once she is asleep, she is out like a light," Emily said with a hint of jocularity in her tone. And then, as if on cue, Leonard heard a small voice from behind him.

"Mommy, can I have some water?" Everyone turned to see a young girl standing in the doorway. She looked around the room and slowly stepped inside. She walked straight to the easy chair in which Leonard was sitting and climbed up into Leonard's lap. She snuggled into his side and looked toward her mother with expectation on her face. Abigail closed her eyes and in a few moments she was once again asleep, Emily stood from her seat and began to cross the room.

Leonard shook his head slightly from side to side and mouthed the words 'She's Fine'. He put his arm around Abigail and pulled her closer to him. Emily sat back down and the conversation continued, albeit in a lower volume. Ashley eased from her dad's side and went to sit at Leonard's feet and stared up at the young girl asleep in his lap.

"She's pretty," Ashley said, "What's her name?"

Emily smiled at her and answered, "Her name is Abigail and she's two years old."

Just as Ashley was about to ask another question, the doorbell rang. Emily stood and left to answer it. As she left the room, Abigail opened her eyes and saw the older girl sitting in front of her. Abigail reached out her hand and touched Ashley's face. Ashley smiled at her and Abigail gave a little laugh.

A moment later, Henry followed Emily into the room. Leonard saw him and said, "I thought you were going to the cast party."

Henry shrugged and sat in a chair next to Leonard. He tousled Abigail's hair and said, "Hey kid, shouldn't you be in bed by now?"

"I'm thirsty," she said as she looked to her mother.

Henry looked up at Leonard and asked, "Leonard, could I talk to you... outside for a minute?"

"Sure," he replied, "Abigail, would you like to show Ashley your room?" She jumped off his lap and took Ashley by the hand and led her out of the room. Leonard stood and followed Henry out of a pair of French doors onto a deck overlooking the backyard.

Once the doors were closed and they were effectively alone Henry hesitantly asked Leonard, "Is the offer to come to California still on the table?" Leonard just stared at him and squinted his eyes. Henry continued, "It's just that things are different now. I thought I could go out there and after a few months I could apply for 'Emancipated Minor' status. That would free up Sis from having to worry about me and she could get on with her life."

"Do you really think that it is some legal definition that makes your sister feel responsible for you?" Leonard said with astonishment. "I know you are a very smart 'man', but some things don't come with an IQ, some things have to be parsed out with time. Intellectually you can reason that if you are out of her sight then you are out of her mind, but relationships don't work that way. She will still be your big sister and feel responsible for you, even if you are two thousand miles away. And running away won't make you feel any better about what Amanda has done or said."

"How did you know this was about her?" Henry queried.

"Well I assume you went to the cast party after the performance. If she hadn't said or done something to upset you, you would still be there. What happened, Henry?"

Henry's shoulders slouched and he plopped down in a rod-iron chair. Leonard sat in a chair opposite him and waited for him to feel comfortable enough to begin. After a few moments Henry began, "Why do girls do that?" He didn't look up so Leonard took it as a rhetorical question. "Why do they always pick the wrong guy? I mean… is it not in their genetic make-up to want to search out the most intelligent person they can find so that their offspring will have a better chance at achieving greatness?"

Leonard had to chortle, "Henry, there may come a time in human development when the physical characteristic will be superceded by the intellectual, but presently the human race is in a transitory period. I believe that the Id and the Ego still search out the physically dominate mate and use intellect as, at best, a secondary criteria."

"So what are you saying? No girl will ever love me because I'm smart but I'm not an alpha-male." Henry stood and started pacing.

"I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that the default on most women's radar setting is 'tall, strong and charismatic' because they are genetically encoded to believe that is what will provide them with like offspring and ensure their DNA's imperative for continuation of the species. But if that is what this Amanda is looking for, you need to decide if you want to change for her; maybe take up sports and immerse yourself in popular culture; or see if exposing her to your true self will eventually bring her to the realization that your emotional connection to her is the better fit for her happiness."

"Well I know the answer to that," Henry said as he once again sat heavily in the chair. Leonard gave him a questioning look so he explained. "After the curtain fell I was… you can't believe the rush I felt after hearing the applause… anyway, I went up to Amanda and… I just put my arm around her waist to give her a little hug of congratulations. Her performance was wonderful; don't you think?" Leonard nodded in the affirmative. "Well when she turned to see me, I thought she was going to jump out of her skin. It was like I was potassium and she was water. She couldn't wait to be out of my reach."

"What did you do?" Leonard asked.

"What was I to do. I said 'I'm sorry' and walked away." Leonard looked at him in pity. This was every geeks worst nightmare made real. "I decided to just let it go and I would talk to her later. Well I was talking to some of the other A/V people a while later and Amanda walked up and asked is she could talk to me."

"That sounds promising," Leonard remarked.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Until she said that the reason she acted that way was because her latest boyfriend didn't like her hanging out with me. It turns out that he's a benchwarmer on the baseball team and about as intelligent as lobotomized rock, but he does have impressive biceps."

"Oh" was all Leonard could think to say.

"My reaction exactly. And when she said… she said 'it was nice having known me' like the friendship we had was defunct because the latest piece of rock candy had set forth an edict… well I was yesterday's pizza that had been left out in the rain. No need of a second thought."

"Do you think you may be overreacting?" Leonard asked in an attempt to calm him down. "Do you think that maybe you should give her some time to realize that she's made a mistake?"

"I'm the one who made the mistake. If she can be so nonchalant about our friendship, then I see no extrapolation that would ever lead to a more meaningful relationship." He stood again and looked in the window and saw his sister chatting with a woman he didn't know. "Donna has sacrificed so much for me and I didn't even realize until this afternoon. Maybe if I do something for her… maybe if I try to make her happy then this aching void in my soul will…" he trailed off.

Leonard thought back to the time that he had come to a similar conclusion. It had been a good decision and things had been working beautifully; until he had been yanked forcibly back into this reality. He stood and put his hand on Henry's shoulder and looked inside. Emily was talking leisurely with Paul and as she laughed at something he said she lightly touched his arm with one hand and smiled at him. Leonard saw a flicker of something in Paul's eyes but couldn't put his finger on it. "Let's not rush to any conclusions. Amanda may have merely been temporally hampered by hormones. It may be an ill placed statement during a monthly upheaval of emotional distress. But what you said about thinking about Donna's happiness. I would have to concur. It has worked well in my life," he said as he cast his memory back to his alternate self, "when I put others' happiness at center stage. But know this, I never went so far as sacrificing my own happiness to insure others."

"How is that possible?" Henry turned to face Leonard. "Are the two values not mutually exclusive?"

"They don't have to be," Leonard argued. "Let's take you and your sister as an example. Do you truly believe that by 'removing the burden you represent' from her life will make her happy?"

"She'll be better off without having to worry about me," he said with conviction.

"How old were you when you lost your mother?" Leonard probed.

Henry shot a glance at Leonard that showed his hurt at the memory, but he answered him. "I was ten years old and Donna was nineteen."

"Were you happy when she decided to raise you instead of letting you go into the foster system?" Leonard asked as he put his hand on Henry's arm.

"I didn't know that was an option." He lowered his eyes and asked Leonard, "Could she really have done that? Would they let her do that?"

"She was just a child herself, Henry. My guess is that she had to fight to keep you. There was probably a bit of pressure for her to hand you over to the 'state'. But, again I'm guessing, she loved you too much to risk your happiness to the system."

"How have I not figured all of this out on my own?" Henry asked.

"You were ten years old; you're still young. Nobody expects you to have a grasp on these concepts." Leonard guided him back to the chairs they had been sitting in. They sat in silence for a few minutes. "But to my point. It made her happy to be there for you, knowing that that was what was best for your happiness."

"For someone would considers himself a genius, I've been pretty stupid, huh?" He sat pondering the implications of the revelations from the past few minutes. "I'll want to talk to Donna, but I really think I would like to take you up on the opportunity your school is offering. If Donna is up to the move, I'll be honored to accept your offer."

"That's not the point I was trying to make," Leonard argued. "I just want…"

"I want to make Donna happy," Henry interrupted. "When I first mentioned that someone was coming out here to talk to me about a school in California, she was more excited than I was."

"Still, that is a big move and a very different pace of life. You need to have a long talk. Go through the pros and cons; don't just act on excitement. I'll support you in any decision that you both are happy with." They stood and Henry wrapped Leonard in a hug before they made their way back into the party.

~ Outside Denver, Colorado ~

She had finally been able to pull herself together and gotten back on the interstate. She had completely forgotten about lunch. When she had heard the dinging of the console warning her that she was low on gas she pulled herself out of her road trance and exited to fill-up. Once the car was full of gas, she glanced up and saw a cheap looking motel adjacent to the quick-mart. Now she was lying on a very uncomfortable bed as the sun went down. She would get a good night sleep and decide whether to continue on to Pasadena or turn around and go back to Nebraska. Either way, she knew it would be in misery.

~ Opelika, Alabama ~

It was getting late and Leonard knew he had a long few days ahead of him so he waited for a lull in the conversation and took the chance to say, "Well everyone, it's past my bedtime. I just want to take this opportunity to say 'Thank You.' You have all made my trip to Alabama a truly pleasurable experience." He saw a blur and felt a body crash into his. He looked down to see his Ashley clutching tightly to his side. He laid a hand on her head and said quietly, "Especially you sweetheart."

"Do you hafta go?" Ashley said with puppy dog eyes.

"Ash, sweetie. He has an early flight tomorrow and a long way to go. Besides, we need to get on the way home, too. Somebody has a big day tomorrow." Paul said.

"That's right." Leonard said. "You are playing the piano at your church tomorrow." She looked up at him and grinned. "Your Uncle Tim has promised that he would send me the video. I can't wait to see it."

A tear appeared in the corner of Ashley's eye and she said quietly, "Its mommy's favorite." Leonard suppressed a gasp but immediately remembered the face of 'his Jill' and was unable to hold back the sorrow that washed over him. He want to stand up and run out of the room before the tears started flowing but Ashley was still holding tightly to his side. He finally gave up the struggle and held Ashley closer to him as his own tears started to flow.

Emily, who was sitting next to Paul, holding the now sleeping Abigail was stunned. Leonard had gone from congenial to a blubbering mass of sorrow in a split second. She reached out and grabbed Paul's hand. She didn't know why she did it, but it felt like the natural thing to do. Donna who was sitting next to Trisha exchanged a glance with her and then furrowed her brow. Within seconds the tumblers fell into place. Trisha and Tim had talked about their sister-in-law Jill and Ashley was her daughter and Ashley had had a transplant, and… This was Leonard's other life. She stood and walked to Leonard. She extended her hand and said, "Ashley, we need to let Leonard get up. He has to get back to his hotel." She stood up and looked at him with confusion on her face. She reached out and wiped the tear tracks from his cheeks.

Leonard made his apologies and promised everyone that he would be in touch, then he quickly made his way to the door. Once outside he made it halfway to his car before he completely lost his control and began to cry in earnest once again. Once he reached his car he reached to open the door but his hand was grabbed by someone. He turned to see that Donna had followed him out to the car.

"You aren't in any state to drive. Give me the keys, I'm driving," Donna demanded.

"Can't," he said through the sobs. "It's a rental. You're not an approved driver."

"O yeah, like that worries you, but you'll give a complete stranger the keys and let them drive halfway 'cross the state," she prodded.

"Oh, you heard about that, huh?" He said as he handed her the keys in defeat, and walked around to the passenger side.

As they made the drive back to his hotel she broached the subject as gently as she could. "So that was your…"

"There are a lot of correlations, aren't there?" Just how much did I tell you when I was, you know, inebriated?"

Enough to recognize the names Jill and Ashley figured prominently and that Ashley mom was dad and she had been a liver transplant recipient." Donna summed up.

"That's just the tip of the iceberg." He took out his phone and tapped a few times on the screen. "I had a friend do a painting of my Ashley; don't ask me how. But this is a photo of the portrait she painted."

Donna had pulled up to a stop light and she took the phone from his hand. She gasped when she saw the young girl that stared back at him. It was Ashley, the Ashley that they had just said goodbye to. "Oh God…"

"You can say that again," Leonard bemoaned.

"You have to tell her."

"Tell her what?" Leonard asked.

"Tell her that you are… that you were going to… I don't know, but you need to tell her something."

"Oh yeah, I can see it now. Ashley. In an alternate reality, not only is your mommy dead but your daddy is dead too, but good news, I was gonna adopt you and the girl that I love is gonna be your mother, but in this reality only your mommy is dead and the girl I love is unable to love me in return." He finished with a hurmph . "I'm sure that would go over well, especially with Paul. No. Me establishing a friendship and keeping in contact from two thousand miles is the best thing for everyone."

She knew he was right and took his hand. "Well if you ever need to talk to someone that knows a little bit about the truth, you don't hesitate to call." She continued to hold his hand because it felt as if it were the right thing to do. "What time does your flight for the west coast leave?"

"I have to be at the airport in Atlanta by 1:00 eastern time. But I'm flying to Boston not California."

She shot a glance at him before turning her attention back to the road.

He saw the glance and answered the unasked question, "I have family there, I'll have a quick visit and then head back to Pasadena."

"So, is Boston home?" Donna asked.

How could he answer that. And then he decided that the truth was the best answer. "No, Boston's not home. "I haven't figured out where home is yet, but I'm looking. Maybe one day I'll be fortunate enough to find 'Home.'"