Satus novus – chapter 21

I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT.

Hi everyone sorry this one took so long to get out. Really long AN will be at the bottom this time if you want to read it.

RECAP:
"Do you remember now Bella?"

I nodded, and in retaliation he sighed.

"That was phrased wrong forgive me." He stopped to take a deep breath. "What I meant was, do you understand?"

I looked at him in shock. What was that supposed to mean? There was something different about him. That much I knew. I waited a moment before I shock my head.

He nodded in response. "Ok. Ask whatever you don't understand."

BPOV
"I am not sure where to start," I said after a moments pause.

"Understandable. What do you remember from last night?"

I took a moment before answering. "Ice was at the top of the road Mike could not stop fast enough. I remember sliding off the cliff, there was a lot of blood too." I inhaled deeply and continued. "I must have passed out somewhere in that time frame because the next thing I remember was Dr. Cullen and you standing over top of me. You asked if I could be moved, and after that I was home and got a call from Charlie. I don't remember every detail very well," I concluded lamely.

His breathing had almost stopped, and it did not look as if he would confirm or deny any of my theories, so I posed a question.

"How did you find me?"

"Honestly." With my nod he answered. "I followed you, just to make sure you where ok. Not all the way to the cliff though – I was somewhat distracted and left before that. Alice let me know what happened, and that is how I found you."

I took another deep breath trying to smooth out my breathing before asking another question. "What do you mean by says Alice let you know? Was she following me to?"

His hands which had been on the table were now folded and he was leaning his head upon them. His eyes where closed and it looked as if he was trying to rest. Without moving from this position he answered.

"Alice was not following you – physically. She let me know by phone that you were in trouble."

"That's not what I meant."

He sighed before continuing. "She 'sees' things, kinda like a fortune teller." Another deep breath was taken.

I knew my question was being avoided, so I opted for another one.

"You took me home. Why?"

He opened his eyes and I noticed they were darker than usual; almost black instead of the light gold I was used to.

"I took you home for Charlie. If he had seen you there – ," he shook his head as if to clear it. "Let's just say if he saw you there it would not have gone well."

"Did Alice 'see' Charlie getting mad at me?"

He shook his head.

"What then?"

He did not answer.

The waitress came at this time to give me the Ravioli, before turning to Jasper.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"I'm fine thank you."

With that she walked away, and we were put into awkward silence again.

I sighed and took a bit of my food; it tasted good just like usual. I looked up at Jasper and saw he had closed his eyes again; leaning his head on his hands. It went on like this for a while before I started to get annoyed. My food was almost more then halfway done and, I had the keys to my truck so I could always leave.

Thinking it through, I realized it was a good option since none of my questions were being answered. My bowl was pushed further away from me and I grabbed my keys that I set on the right side on it and stood up. With sneaking glances back at the unmoving figure I left the dinner and jumped into the cab of my car and drove back home.

It took a little longer than normal since I tried to waste as much time as possible. I wondered if he was still sitting there, if he would actually give me answers soon. I continued to feel bad for just leaving, until I pulled into the driveway and saw him sitting on the front step.

JPOV
All the questions she was asking me were getting harder to answer. Why could I just not straight out tell her? It was a constant battle between telling her everything or giving her partial truths. I don't really know why I told her to ask whatever she wanted – I think it was something she pulled out of me when she looked at me and then I felt her confusion.

When she left the dinner I felt bad. I did promise I would answer all her questions. That's when I made up my mind to go over to her house. Leaving money on the table I stood and walked out the door. Looking for cover, I walked just a little way to the edge of town and then took off in a run. Her truck should be there the same time since I have wasted about 10 minutes thinking.

I made it to her house quickly and noticed I had beaten her truck. Had she not gone straight home? I took a deep breath and made my way to the front door. Before getting too close to the house, I sat down on the front step so that if she did not want me here I could just leave.

- - -

It was not long until I heard the unique sound of her truck coming closer. She was down the road just a little bit when I started to panic. Slightly. I was not really scared for her to see me here – I was scared she might want me to leave. She came into sight and her emotions were easy to read. Fear. Confusion. Anxiety.

She surprised me when she pulled into the driveway and turn the car off after putting it in park; even more so when she came over to me and stood in front of me.

"What are you doing here Jasper?"

"I came to answer your questions. Sorry 'bout what happened a while ago."

"It's fine," Bella replied. "I just wondered why it was so hard for you to tell me why you took me home." She spoke honestly; I could tell by her voice.

"I wish it could be that easy just to tell you. My life is more complicated than it looks."

"Would you tell me if I asked?"

"I will try very hard to answer all of your questions. There are some I can not answer straight out though. I hope you can understand that."

With a nod she walked past me and to the door. Unlocking it she walked inside leaving it open for me. I stood from my original position and walked across the threshold; invite for the first time.

BPOV
Jasper followed me inside and closed the door behind him while I made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and continued walking to the living room where Charlie watched T.V. I took a seat on the coach giving him the option of joining me or sitting in the armchair.

It surprised me when he took a seat on the sofa. That may have been because I had expected him to take the recliner though. He looked more relaxed then before even in close proximity. His eyes were brighter, his face – more importantly his eyes – looked peaceful, and his posture was no longer as ridged.

I opened my mouth to speak before I heard him mumble something to himself.

"What did you say?" I asked waiting to hear the answer.

"Nothing." He replied distantly.

"Sure about that?"

"I really wish it would be that easy to just straight out tell you."

"You've said that before."

He nodded and fell back into his silent ways without a reply.

"So what can you tell me?" I pushed him for answers even though I knew it was wrong.

"Well you already know Alice can see things, Carlisle and I can to check up on you after the wreck, and I took you home after we realized nothing was physically wrong with you. What else did you need to know?"

"Where you at the dance?"

"Off topic, but yes I was."

"You also said you followed me."

"That's not a question." He stated.

"I know. My question is how far did you follow me before leaving?"

"Until Mike dropped of Ben and Angela."

"What made you leave?"

"I can feel what other people are feeling. Kinda like an aura. I was against the 'aura' Mike was putting off."

I nodded and tried to think about what he told me logically. I was still a mess from waking up this morning, but I needed answers.

"What did Alice 'see'?"

"I'm not quite sure."

It seemed like I needed to revise the question a little bit.

"What do you think Alice would have 'seen'?" I asked; happy with my edited question.

"Your death."

The atmosphere seemed to change in the room. I never wanted and answer so straight forward from him, but I got it anyway. Jasper did not seem to be taking it well though.

JPOV
I still can't believe I flat our told her. All the more of a reason to keep my answers short and simple to avoid her question. Well I guess my answer was short; the avoidance was defiantly not working.

"Why would it have mattered if you had followed me? You can't control what was happening to the truck."

"It was not the truck falling down that Alice was worried about."

"What then?"

I can't answer that one – not truthfully at least. I don't know how she would take the idea of me being a vampire seriously. This is so messed up, even for me.

"I won't answer your question Bella. I just can't." After she nodded and had a moment to think it through I continued. "What I can say is that I feel like it is my job to protect you. By taking myself out of the picture that night I was just hoping that it would not come true; but I was not the only variable."

I felt her confusion grow as I said all of this. She was still trying to figure out what I was, and I hope she never will. Her eyes then met mine and I felt like her could go on forever. It did not matter that I could kill her easily. She trusted me.

"I need you to understand that I do care about you. Probably in ways I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I've gotten too close."

I hope she does not try and decipher anything I say. It would only add to her confusion. Bella continued to look at me while I said this, and nodded. She surprised me by opening to her mouth to respond.

"So this leaves us where? You said we have to stay away from each other because you're scared of hurting me, yet you are here now explaining why."

"I wanted to stay away from you Bella. With being a klutz you already put yourself at physical danger, and I never intended to add myself to that list."

"You don't need to stay away from me. I understand you are scared, but you've saved my life because you care. It can't be as bad as you make it out to be."

I was amazed by her reaction and I really wish she would open up to me more instead of all the composed answers. That may have to wait until she gains my trust though.

Still not sure if I like this version, but it is going up. I have not had time to go through very much editing on this one, so if it is confusing point out where and I will hopefully be able to fix it. I have written this chapter three times now, and it all ended up diffrently. Hopefully Jasper not telling Bella about being a vamp. just yet was a good idea. I understand it is somewhat diffrent from the Bella of Twilight, but it seems to fit with the story better that way.

This update was supposed to be three days ago, but with power outages and my lack of internet connection due to storms in the area put me behind in posting. The next chapter should be out alot faster.

Reviews are always welcome and so are PMs. I love opening my inbox with 50+ messages in the morning with Alerts and Reviews so keep them coming. :)
Bloodlust is lacking updates due to a plot that does not want to stay. I have a hard time writting it.
Changed should becoming out with a new chapter soon. The intro chapter is posted for those who want to get a head start.

Thanks again for Reviews and Reads,